Egg Roll Takes a Ride

Summary

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Bad Friends Podcast: "Egg Roll Takes a Ride"

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Date: January 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

The first Bad Friends episode of 2026 finds Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino launching the new year with their signature chaotic banter and reflective humor. The duo covers topics spanning family mishaps, live shows, charity events, fast food mishaps, evolving technology, relationships, and their own dynamic—sprinkled with musical, culinary, and pop culture detours. Beneath the laughs, they reflect on aging, happiness, belonging, and the search for meaning both on and off the comedy stage.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Family Moments & Touring Recap

• Phoenix Shows: Bobby and Andrew reminisce about their shows with Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, and others before 20,000 people in Phoenix.
  • “The guy was incredible.” – Bobby (02:06)
  • “Unbelievable lineup.” – Andrew (02:12)
• Bobby's Mom Falling: The group teases Bobby when it’s claimed he didn’t help his mom up when she fell.
  • “Everyone knows this role where your mom falls, whoever's the closest picks her up.” – Bobby (00:57)
  • “I felt a little bad…It’s sad when old people fall.” – Andrew (01:26)

Special Olympics Charity Event

• Andrew’s Involvement: Andrew organized and participated in the Special Olympics, with Bobby admiring his dedication.
  • “You're a really good guy.” – Bobby (03:40)
  • “It was fun, man.” – Andrew (03:42)
• Creeper Appearance: Frankie Quinones showed up as his character Creeper, entertaining everyone.
  • “He was throwing pitches and he was dancing like robot in between pitches.” – Andrew (03:59)

Charity, Big Brother Ideals, and Background Checks

• Discussion of Doing More Charity: Both discuss joining programs like Big Brother, joking about being assigned kids or picking them by nationality.
  • “We should do Big Brother… you take them on the weekend to do cool shit.” – Andrew (04:44)
  • “Can we choose the kid?” – Bobby (05:04)
• Spoiling Kids & Background Checks: Jokes about spoiling the kids and background check processes yield friendly arguments and banter.

Gifts and Sleeplessness

• Custom Chopsticks: Andrew gifts Bobby bespoke chopsticks from his friend’s company.
  • “Are you being real?” – Bobby (06:37)
• Anxiety & Nightmares: Bobby opens up about insomnia and recurring nightmares.
  • “You know, you're just laying there, right? And you're having horrific thoughts… drowning, fire, all that stuff.” – Bobby (07:38)
  • “To have like just negative thoughts while you can't sleep.” – Andrew (07:55)

Absurd Fables, Dark Comedy, & Myths

• Talking Myths: Bobby professes his love for myths and fables, mangling words and launching bits about despot name confusion.
  • “I'm a myth guy, dude.” – Bobby (08:50)
  • Extended riff and confusion around “idiom,” and Idi Amin vs. Pol Pot genocidal statistics (09:35–10:48).

Fast Food, Delivery Mishaps, and Ice Cream

• DoorDash Stories: Both complain about delivery instructions gone wrong and discuss dubious “priority” delivery options.
• Food Experiments: Banter about “rogue” food items, including finding a fry in a nugget box or the hypothetical egg roll in fast food.
  • “Onion rings just to hang out with onion rings. If you come over to French Fry Land, I'm calling ICE.” – Bobby (38:07)
• Ice Cream Preferences: A debate about “old school” vs. “artisanal” ice cream, and which shops are overrated or underrated.
  • “Baskin Robbins. There's never anyone here.” – Andrew (17:28)
  • “Duck skin. You think that's good?” – Bobby (16:09)

Food Safety, Restaurant Sanitation & Lab-like Kitchens

• Rib-Slamming Viral Video: Commentary on a viral video showing a cook breaking frozen ribs on an outdoor sidewalk.
  • “He’s Asian… The way he throws is Asian.” – Andrew (35:26)
  • “Nothing is sticking to frozen. You could literally dip that in trash, take it out, blow it off. It's nothing.” – Andrew (36:08)
• Watching Food Get Made: Bobby prefers restaurants where the kitchen operates like a scientific lab for transparency.
  • “I like places where it looks like a lab at a restaurant.” – Bobby (33:48)

Automation, Technology, and the Dread of Robots

• Self-Driving Cars and Robot Deliveries: Bobby is fascinated by progress; Andrew is annoyed and skeptical.
  • “There will still be a need for human.” – Andrew (45:47)
  • “You can’t get out of those things until you’re at your destination… have to poo in the Waymo.” – Andrew (47:10)

Relationships, Happiness, and Regret

• Bobby’s Reflections: Bobby expresses vulnerability about past relationships, family, and fears of becoming like his mother—a homebody.
  • “I think I regret some things.” – Bobby (54:17)
  • “In rough patches, right? I go, mayday, mayday, I gotta get out... next time, maybe stick in the rough patch.” – Bobby (55:45)
• On Happiness & Money: Discussion of whether success and purchases bring happiness, referencing Warren Buffett’s quote.
  • “If you can’t be happy now, you’re never going to be happy, then.” – Andrew (59:13)
  • “Warren Buffett… ‘if you're not happy with $50,000 or $100,000, you're not going to be happy with a $100 million…’ What are you talking about?” – Andrew (59:36)

Workplace Power Dynamics & Producer McCone Riff

• Mock Power Rankings: Bobby and Andrew rib their producer, McCone, on show hierarchies and job roles, with tongue-in-cheek firing and re-hiring shenanigans.
  • “He thinks we're peers, right?” – Bobby (70:29)
  • “You're fired. Why are you blushing?” – Bobby (75:29)

Future Predictions & New Year’s Reflections

• Retirement Plans: They predict ending the podcast when Bobby turns 60, with Bobby fantasizing about adopting an 18-year-old Russian.
  • “When Bobby turns 60, we're gonna throw a big bash and show will be done in six years.” – Andrew (80:10)
  • “Single father…with an 18 year old Russian kid.” – Bobby (81:29)
• Resolutions: Mocked, then ultimately shrugged off, as Bobby resolves to just keep being himself amid crew power struggles.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Helping Family:
  “Everyone knows this role where your mom falls, whoever's the closest picks her up.” — Bobby Lee (00:57)

• Philosophy on Happiness:
  “If you can’t be happy now, you’re never going to be happy, then.” — Andrew Santino (59:13)

• Fast Food Wisdom:
  “Onion rings just to hang out with onion rings. If you come over to French Fry Land, I'm calling ICE.” — Bobby Lee (38:07)

• Workplace Comedy:
  “He thinks we're peers, right?” — Bobby Lee (70:29)
  “I think at this point, we're work friends.” — Producer McCone (70:34)

• Predicting the Future:
  “Single father…with an 18 year old Russian kid.” — Bobby Lee (81:29)

• Existential Reflection:
  “That stuff doesn’t make anyone happy…Everyone has a reflective moment…That’s human nature.” — Producer McCone & Andrew Santino (58:39–58:46)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening & Phoenix Recap: 00:48–02:13
• Special Olympics & Charity: 02:41–04:43
• Big Brother/BG Sister & Comedy: 04:44–06:24
• Chopsticks Gift: 06:27–07:15
• Sleeplessness & Anxiety: 07:24–08:50
• Myths & Dark Humor (Idi Amin): 08:50–10:48
• Fast Food/Food Delivery: 13:05–16:12, 38:00–40:00
• Ice Cream Discussion: 15:17–18:14
• Restaurant Labs & Food Safety: 33:48–36:38
• Automation & Tech Skepticism: 45:47–47:56
• Relationship & Happiness: 53:42–59:36
• Producer Power Banter: 67:59–76:43
• New Year’s Reflection & Closing: 77:13–82:01

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Tone and Style

Throughout the episode, Bobby and Andrew’s distinct mix of absurdity, dark humor, self-deprecation, and genuine friendship sets a lighthearted but relatable tone—even when tackling deeper subjects like aging, regret, and the human quest for connection and joy.

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Final Thoughts

This episode showcases classic Bad Friends chemistry: rapid-fire teasing, tangents that somehow yield real insights, confessions about personal shortcomings, and a refusal to take even the new year too seriously. Listeners new and old get both laughs and life lessons—with a side of existential crisis and a sprinkle of fast food nostalgia.

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Transcript

[Andrew Santino]

Happy New Year. Bad friends. Well, 2026, I got a couple of shows I'm going to be doing. Windsor, Ontario, Canada, January 16th. Right after that, I'm in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, come out. Also Hanover, Maryland. Then I'm in Atlantic City. Then down by San Diego, Bobby's hometown, Valley center, which is inland a little bit, but by San Diego. Then I'm in Canyonville, Oregon. And then Bob and I are doing a show in Lincoln, California.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

LinkedIn Bad Friends Live over in Thunder Valley Casino up there by Sacramento. Then I'm doing the Win Casino in Las Vegas. And finally, the little roadie fest out in Providence, Rhode island, in March. Go to andrew santino.com for those tickets. Andrew santino.com you2 are bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Who are these two idiots? You two are disgusting. You two or something.

[Andrew Santino]

We're bad friends.

[Producer McCone]

Your mom fell and you didn't help her. Rudy said.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Producer McCone]

Rudy said you didn't help your mom.

[Bobby Lee]

Because she was next to her.

[Andrew Santino]

It's her, your mom.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. I understand that. But when your mom falls, everyone knows this role where your mom falls, whoever's the closest picks her up. Everyone knows that.

[Andrew Santino]

That sounds like a good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. She fell over, and before I could respond, Jules was already picking her up.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And also, it's like when you're falling off of a chair, dude. It's embarrassing. Yeah, it's. What's going on?

[Andrew Santino]

What's going on? Well, when you reach a certain age, you're going to fall, and your mom fell while we were in Phoenix, and I felt a little bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because it's sad when old people fall.

[Bobby Lee]

It is fall. Because they can upset him.

[Andrew Santino]

It's fall. It's winter.

[Bobby Lee]

It is a fall. No, she fell over. And I saw Jules do the movement of picking her up, so I didn't bother.

[Andrew Santino]

Jules did. Jules did the fake, where you're like, oh, oh, oh. But you didn't really. She doesn't really.

[Bobby Lee]

No, she did.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. She's a caring person.

[Andrew Santino]

She is.

[Bobby Lee]

And then my mom goes, I like her.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We had a great time in Phoenix. We were opening for Shane Gillis, who probably once again cracked a record of ticket sales out there in Phoenix.

[Bobby Lee]

The guy was incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

20,000, something like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Norman, you, me, McCusker.

[Andrew Santino]

Nate.

[Bobby Lee]

What a lineup.

[Andrew Santino]

Was an unbelievable lineup.

[Bobby Lee]

The black guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Nate. Nate, yeah, his name, Nate. He's awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

When I was on stage, I was like, run of applause for Santino McUser. Norman. Because I forgot that black guy's name.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I Was going to say black guy, but in front of 18,000 people, I don't think you're just so calm up there and in control.

[Andrew Santino]

You have to be.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think if you go up there and you show any semblance of, like, nerves. I was more nervous yesterday for the Special Olympics.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, dude. Bro, let me say something about that. What's so funny? You're a great catcher.

[Andrew Santino]

You were a really good catcher.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm a good catcher.

[Andrew Santino]

I. Dude, no. And he was throwing it back with, like, some heat on it. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty good.

[Bobby Lee]

The serious face.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he was genuinely in there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yamamoto style, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a little Shohei, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that's two different guys, but.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it can be.

[Bobby Lee]

No, dude, I. Yeah, I have those Asian baseball skills.

[Andrew Santino]

You really do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like. It's in your blood. I can tell. The way you set up to the ball, the way you throw.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I didn't want it back because I didn't want to, like, bury Bill Burr.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, and Bert.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you didn't want to because Chrysler.

[Bobby Lee]

And Burke showed up. Let me. Can I just say something about the Special Olympics thing, Event you did? Yeah, I was. I felt I was sitting there in the stands watching you coach them. I was like, and then it's your event. And I was like, what a good guy he is. You're a really good guy.

[Andrew Santino]

I just. It.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. You're a good person, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

It was fun, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's a rad thing to.

[Bobby Lee]

Do for you to take your day out like that and get everyone to go. Chris was there doing the announcing.

[Andrew Santino]

Nick was killing it. He was killing it. And I will say. And shout out to the people that showed up and. And Frankie Quinones came as Creeper. As Creeper. Cholo Fett. Did you. Were you there?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Where was he?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, bro, it was so sick. He came later because he had something to do in. Earlier in the day, but. And Creeper showed up and he was like. He was, like, walking up to the money. He's like, hey, bro, pitch. I'm a pitcher. And he was. He was throwing pitches and he was dancing like robot in between pitches.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, he's one of the funniest guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Funniest dudes is so, so dope. And. And then he went up to everybody as Creeper and, like, took photos and was talking to them and stuff. Yeah, it was. Dude, it was such a fun.

[Bobby Lee]

He's a good dude.

[Andrew Santino]

It was a super fun day.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But just the. That you do. You do care, and I. Oh, yeah, I want to get involved. I got to do a charity.

[Andrew Santino]

I think we should. We should do more.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I want my own charity. What do I do?

[Andrew Santino]

What charity would need. Who needs the most money?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I just want to be able to participate here.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, we. You know what we should do? We should do Big Brother where we like it because we don't have kids, so we should, like, adopt, you know, like Big Brother. Like, you take them on the weekend to do cool shit, you young kids, without.

[Bobby Lee]

How many times?

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

How many times did you do it?

[Producer McCone]

It depends on the person.

[Andrew Santino]

Depends on the person.

[Bobby Lee]

Every weekend.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not every weekend.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we could do shifts.

[Producer McCone]

It is a commitment for a few years.

[Bobby Lee]

It is until they. Can we choose? Can we choose the kid or.

[Producer McCone]

No, you're usually assigned.

[Andrew Santino]

You spin a wheel.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

And then.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Puerto Rican. Oh, that's cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Puerto Rico.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's awesome. And you. And you take them out and you kick it with him. You take them to go eat food, to play video games. Like, dude, we are big kids, you and I. We're essentially just big.

[Bobby Lee]

We're doing Big brother.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's huge.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Would do. Do I get a weekend alone?

[Andrew Santino]

You take the kid. You take the young.

[Bobby Lee]

No, because I'm going to spoil the.

[Andrew Santino]

Out of the kid. I know. Well, no, no, they tell. They do tell. You you got to be careful with that.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Producer McCone]

They do a re.

[Bobby Lee]

Research on the people, you know, and.

[Producer McCone]

Back on background checks and all of that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're the foreigner. Who are you talking to?

[Bobby Lee]

Who Talking to who?

[Andrew Santino]

You talk.

[Bobby Lee]

I have no criminal history. I had. I. I have no criminal history.

[Producer McCone]

My wife had one for a long time, so I.

[Bobby Lee]

What.

[Producer McCone]

We would take her. I mean, it was big brother's big sister, so.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Producer McCone]

Do the same with girls.

[Bobby Lee]

And we would take Disneyland and things like that.

[Producer McCone]

It was.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So if I took our little brother.

[Andrew Santino]

Our little brother right.

[Bobby Lee]

To Disneyland, the. The foundation would be like, nah, no.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's all good. But there. But there, I think you can do.

[Bobby Lee]

The VIP Thing that you like. I'm doing the vip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lightsaber is the whole thing, you know? Lightsaber. Three of them.

[Andrew Santino]

I do think that's the move.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, you break all those rules and give them a magical day. I think big brother, big sister's round. We should do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, no, we should do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I got you a little gift, by the way. This is from my Friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. God.

[Andrew Santino]

My friends at at bet, Nardi, the Putter guys. The Putter company that I love. They. They made you custom chopsticks. Look at how sick.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you being real?

[Andrew Santino]

100%. Take them out. Look at how sick those things are.

[Bobby Lee]

These are so sick, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

And they're like high quality. I think you'd like the purple, right?

[Bobby Lee]

I do. They're a little heavy though.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but heavy is good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, heavy is good.

[Andrew Santino]

Smooth, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They look so natural.

[Bobby Lee]

Are they really mine?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they're made for you.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Producer McCone]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Custom.

[Bobby Lee]

The leather. You can smell the leather.

[Andrew Santino]

Love the smell of leather.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I really do. And then it says B on it. Is that.

[Andrew Santino]

That's B for Bobby?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you being real?

[Andrew Santino]

That's a. That's your name?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Wow, thank you so much. That's gonna be there for six months.

[Andrew Santino]

At least one of the guys will take it home. Yeah, they'll take some of the scraps. Are you drinking coffee right now? It's 8pm yeah. What's going on? Are you got a set tonight?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

So you want. You do. Because I go down to the hallway. I go down to the lobby at Phoenix to go get the car. He's already down there. He's cruising, but he's wide awake. And I was like, oh, someone's. So it's nice and awake. He's like, I never went to bed.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, dude, I didn't sleep. I'm not kidding you, like four days in a row. I would get like a couple hours, but it's like not. You're not dreaming. You're just laying there, right? And you're having horrific thoughts. You're drowning. You know what, Fire, all that stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, that's not normal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, it is.

[Andrew Santino]

No. To have like just negative thoughts while you can't sleep.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Where I'm trapped in a mine. I mean, Tony. Tony. And like, you know me, Rubble up to my neck, right, Tony. Yeah, yeah, Tony.

[Andrew Santino]

And she was like, what the do you want?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's not that, Tony. But it could be.

[Andrew Santino]

Death in a dream may not actually be dying. Instead, it often represents change. The closing of a chapter at the end of life. As you know, it could be. I don't think you're even close to dying.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Producer McCone]

I've death dreams a lot. It's not healthy.

[Andrew Santino]

Who dies in your dream?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm always close to death.

[Producer McCone]

I'm all usually on a plane that's.

[Bobby Lee]

Crashing, but they say that if you really die in a dream, you die in real life. Is that true?

[Producer McCone]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Google it. What?

[Producer McCone]

You wake up Justin.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no. Yeah. But. But you. But if you really die in a dream, that mean you die in real life? That's what I heard.

[Andrew Santino]

How would we know that?

[Bobby Lee]

You wouldn't. That's so.

[Andrew Santino]

Who would know that that's true?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Dying dream does not mean you die in real life.

[Bobby Lee]

The common myth.

[Andrew Santino]

Huge myth.

[Bobby Lee]

That was a movie. It's a common myth. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I believe in. Dude, I'm a myth guy. Dude, you're a huge I'm a myth guy, dude. You know, I mean, I love fables. I love myths. I mean, I love stor kinds.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me a fable.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Give me a fable.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, long ago. Idiom. From what? Idiom. Idiom.

[Andrew Santino]

Idiomal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you know the story.

[Andrew Santino]

I've heard it. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Once he was a farm boy.

[Andrew Santino]

A farm. Always a farm boy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

In a little island. Indigenous island.

[Andrew Santino]

He was farming on an island.

[Bobby Lee]

Indigenous island.

[Andrew Santino]

So he's farming for indigenous people on an island?

[Bobby Lee]

He is indigenous.

[Andrew Santino]

So he's just getting food for himself.

[Bobby Lee]

I could have said it that way.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So indigenous, right? Not indigenous. Idiom.

[Producer McCone]

Idiom.

[Bobby Lee]

Idiom.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you saying IDI Amin.

[Bobby Lee]

No, not idiomine. That guy's a bad guy.

[Andrew Santino]

What did he do?

[Bobby Lee]

He slaughtered people.

[Andrew Santino]

How many?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. Millions. Ed. I mean. Yeah.

[Producer McCone]

I like how.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Producer McCone]

I didn't know that was a real person.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Look up Edi Amin. How many people?

[Producer McCone]

I thought you made up a name.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't go to college. No, Idiom was a. I don't know what's going on today?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he wrote idiom.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Ed.

[Bobby Lee]

Edi. Yeah. There he is. Oh, look at him.

[Andrew Santino]

Good, Ed. I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. How many people did idiom. I mean, kill.

[Andrew Santino]

Kill count is so funny to type in.500. A half a million. He's good.

[Bobby Lee]

It's pretty good. Not the best. Not the best. Pol Pot was better.

[Andrew Santino]

Way better.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Pol Pot was so present while he.

[Andrew Santino]

Was an eight year ruler of the president of Uganda. He approximately killed. That's a huge gap. 100 grand to 500 grand. 400,000 people is a big gap.

[Bobby Lee]

But if you do it incrementally, not at one time.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's like. It's like. What's his name? Sleeping with all those women. Will Chamberlain.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's kind of like if you did it over time. We did the math. It's like seven a day.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Half a million people do. That's crazy, but for what? Power.

[Bobby Lee]

It's power.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what he was doing. He wanted power.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so guilt ridden. There's no. I could even do one for power.

[Andrew Santino]

You couldn't kill one person. There's not one person. You think?

[Bobby Lee]

It depends on what they did. Let's say I'm, I, I, I'm a, I'm a general of some sort of small country somewhere far away. You're my lieutenant. And you'd ask me, you tell me what happened and I'm going to say if I want them killed or not. Yes, sir. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

One of our ends.

[Bobby Lee]

What's your name?

[Andrew Santino]

Makta.

[Bobby Lee]

Makta. What's up, dog? What?

[Andrew Santino]

What is up?

[Bobby Lee]

I haven't seen you around a long time.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How's the family?

[Andrew Santino]

Very good, sir.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, Yes. I don't want that. That's your make up something. Oh, make up. Anyway. Anyway, what's the problem?

[Andrew Santino]

Somebody came to our barracks while we were sleeping.

[Bobby Lee]

Kill him. Kill them all. His whole line. His family line, right? Uncles, aunts.

[Andrew Santino]

He was just dropping off food.

[Bobby Lee]

Doordash. Yeah, yeah, yeah, kill them all. In fact, kill everyone that's doing doordash right now. No, no, it would have to be like they destroyed a village, right? And they, you know, for no reason. Yeah, for no reason or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine being a soldier and door dashing something while you're like waiting for war.

[Bobby Lee]

That'd be amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

And some guy, some Russian guy's like, dosh drops it off, he's like, I have to get a picture of you with it. Why do they always have to get a photo? I was like, I. You handed it to me. And like, he's like, I need photo. The guy dropped off last week dropped off pizza. I like, thanks man. Cuz I saw him at the front gate. Thanks man. And he's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I was like, what? He's like, I need a picture. And I was like, he's like, a picture of delivery. I was like, oh, okay. So then, then I was like, well, I don't want to be in it. So I put the pizza back out and like closed the door. So it's just my hand holding the pizza for the photo. And I was like, good. He's like, okay. And I took it back inside because I didn't want to be holding the pizza for. In his photo? Yeah. I don't know what they do. They upload that to the app for proof that they dropped it off. And in my neighborhood now there's fucking robots Everywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

I love them.

[Andrew Santino]

I hate them. They don't go to your neighborhood.

[Bobby Lee]

They can't there. They can't get up there. I live in the hills.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, he does.

[Bobby Lee]

But I got a pizza from the.

[Andrew Santino]

Hills have Slanted Eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

That'd be a funny movie. That's a horror movie.

[Andrew Santino]

The Wayans Brothers present the Hills have Slanted Eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

I got a pizza from Prince and the dude left it on the ground and I was playing video games. I'll get in. 30 minutes. Mistake. Tell me what happened.

[Andrew Santino]

It got eaten by coyote?

[Bobby Lee]

No, ants.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

It got in there. Dude. I opened it up, it was just filled with ants.

[Andrew Santino]

Gross.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God.

[Andrew Santino]

You waited 30 minutes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I. There's a little table. Did you eat outside my. What? No, I threw it away. There's a little table next to my front door that you put the shit on. Did you just put it on the ground?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it pissed me off.

[Andrew Santino]

You should say in the app, you can say please leave on table. Yeah, you can put it in the notes. Yeah, I should do that. I give them notes all the time.

[Bobby Lee]

What are your notes?

[Andrew Santino]

Don't come near my house. Drop it off on the sidewalk. Pick up the dog in the yard. Yeah, no, I give them notes. If it's like, hey, I'm not gates open, I'm not there. Just drop it off inside the gate. Yeah, cuz a lot of times they like, if they see sometimes I'll have like a delivery and if the gate's not open, they'll just leave. Yeah, I've seen them just like leave. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, where are you going? Yeah, it's the weird. I'm like, just throw it over the fence or whatever it is. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you do priority?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I don't know. That's a scam.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, I'll do priority. And not to test that theory out, we did this years ago. Yeah, or not years. Whatever. When it first started, we tested was almost the same time. And you just pay five more bucks. It doesn't even make sense.

[Bobby Lee]

So they don't go to your house first?

[Andrew Santino]

No, they don't. They do not do that. That's a lie. Because I've done both ways. I don't know, it's been the same. They definitely.

[Bobby Lee]

You can tell if the food's warm or cold.

[Andrew Santino]

I feel like it's always cold.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No matter what I get, it's cold.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't ever get a warm. And you, you wait 30 minutes, it's always cold. For you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think I've.

[Bobby Lee]

I got something today that was so cold. You know what it was? Ice cream. I'm on fire.

[Andrew Santino]

You're killing it, right?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm on fire today.

[Andrew Santino]

Settle down.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What kind of ice cream did you get?

[Bobby Lee]

I like butter pecan, rocky road, mint chip. Those are my top three.

[Andrew Santino]

That's top three?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't do this new, like, you know, I mean, goat cheese. You know, I mean dandelions and, you know, I mean baklava shavings.

[Andrew Santino]

So good.

[Bobby Lee]

You know how they do that? Yeah, it's, like, off.

[Andrew Santino]

So good.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, you never had coffee Toenails.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't do coffee Toenails.

[Andrew Santino]

One of my favorites. You got to get over to. What is it? Salt and straw. They're the ones that do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Sometimes they'll put one out that. That is genuinely. It's like lavender fart. And you're like, sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And they're like, it's. One of our college kids made it this morning.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's like they experiment, which is fun.

[Andrew Santino]

But pear and blue cheese. I had that. It's actually.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good.

[Andrew Santino]

The one you're talking about is black olive brittle and goat cheese.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Get the out.

[Bobby Lee]

Get the out here.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, it's not ice cream. Duck skin.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, duck skin.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You think that's good?

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, it's probably from a Chinese restaurant. For sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Creepy crawler critters.

[Producer McCone]

This is all salt and straw.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Which is, you know, probably one of the best ice cream places on planet Earth.

[Andrew Santino]

It's got. There's a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a lot more, but I'm more old school.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, I could just do, like, a Van Leeuwen guy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I could just do Baskin Robbins. Dude, you get a Banana Royale, you're out of that. Have you had a Banana Royale?

[Andrew Santino]

There's so many good new ice cream. Like McConnell's.

[Bobby Lee]

McCall's is great. McConnell's great.

[Andrew Santino]

Van Leeuwin.

[Bobby Lee]

Van Leeuwen's pretty good. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, these are all better than Baskin Robbins.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But I can still just do a Banana Royale. Look at that thing.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not with Baskin Robbins. Especially now, because you can buy those good ones like Jenny's. You can buy them at the grocery store. Why am I going to Baskin if I can go get better shit at the. At the grocery store for the same price now?

[Bobby Lee]

Because, Baskin, there's more of them. Like, for instance, if you want to go to Salt and straw. Right. You got. There's three locations, and there's. And there's 30 people, and then there's a huge line. You. I mean, as if they're getting Taylor Swift tickets. You know about that. But my point is. Is this. Yeah, but with Baskin Robbins, there's never anyone. Anyone there. You know? I mean. Yeah. The worst is when there's a gigantic family.

[Andrew Santino]

That's their slogan. Baskin Robbins. There's never anyone here. Come on in. There's never anyone here. Yeah, there wasn't. There used to be one on Magnolia in Burbank I used to go to. It's literally.

[Bobby Lee]

So you have been.

[Andrew Santino]

It's empty.

[Bobby Lee]

You have been.

[Andrew Santino]

I had been.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I stopped because I was like, this is not good. And the one teenage tweaker that's working there, not in. I didn't like it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, He.

[Andrew Santino]

He just. His vibe was weird.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I hate those energy.

[Andrew Santino]

The teenage.

[Bobby Lee]

Those meth vibes.

[Andrew Santino]

His meth vibes.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, what do you want? Like, what the. Dude, I've just got in here experimenting.

[Andrew Santino]

That's who's there. Yeah, I can't do it, dude. Also, by the way, they don't have 31 flavors anymore. That's also a myth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's not. It's 18. Change it to 18 flavors.

[Andrew Santino]

They don't even. I don't think they feature 31.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't believe they don't. They don't.

[Andrew Santino]

When I'm ever in there, it's always like, 10 flavors. They have 31 flavor at any given. It says about 31. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because that one that I'm talking about, they never had. They had, like, maybe 10 max. I give them 12 on a good day. This is quality control. That's gone downhill, by the way. This is why they're getting beaten by the other big dogs.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, what's. What's the ice cream store? Handles. Have you been to Handles?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't even think that's right. Handles.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Handles.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Producer McCone]

Sounds Jewish.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Handels.

[Bobby Lee]

That's how you shut. It's Handel's.

[Andrew Santino]

It's Jewish. Handel. It's the last name.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Handel's.

[Andrew Santino]

Handel.

[Bobby Lee]

You know why I like that?

[Andrew Santino]

Howie Mandel.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I see.

[Andrew Santino]

Handel.

[Bobby Lee]

Handel. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Homemade ice cream since 1943. Handel's ice cream. We're also a bank.

[Bobby Lee]

Handel is really good.

[Andrew Santino]

I'd like to make a deposit and also get a rocky road to go. It's a bank ice cream store. Handel's Ice Cream. It's kosher, I imagine.

[Bobby Lee]

What does kosher mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

What does it mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Kosher means like the.

[Producer McCone]

It's blessed.

[Andrew Santino]

It's. No, but it also means two things. Don't touch. Like 2. Meat and cheeses don't touch. Right. Like, kosher means fit and proper. Refers to according Jewish dietary laws which dictate permissible ingredients, preparation, separations of food like meat and dairy, they cannot touch. Ensuing items are richly pure and fit for consumption. Which is crazy because meat and cheese is, like, my favorite shit on earth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

At the house, I'll roll up some meat on some cheese, and that's a snack to go.

[Bobby Lee]

I love that.

[Andrew Santino]

My. One of my faves. Not kosher. Oh, pig is not kosher. Right. What else is that?

[Bobby Lee]

A falcon. What is that?

[Andrew Santino]

All scavenger. All scavenger. And predatory birds are not kosher.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, you can't have eagle.

[Andrew Santino]

Should. Shouldn't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

So hard to catch. But you know. You know how hard it is to get those eagles. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. And then if something doesn't have both fins and scales. Oh, so you can be crustaceans, mollusks.

[Bobby Lee]

What about platypus? There's a lot going on there.

[Andrew Santino]

Can't do it. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you can't. Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Can't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You can't.

[Andrew Santino]

Kosher.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Meat and dairy together, and then loin, sirloin, rump, flank and heel steak. So anything behind? So they can't have the back half of the cow. They can only have chuck, rib, shoulder and plate.

[Bobby Lee]

No gay stuff. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. No gay.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

You know, guys, I'm 54 sometimes. Look at, check this out, right? I'm 54 sometimes, you know, your equipment breaks.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Slows down.

[Bobby Lee]

And sometimes you need new engine oil.

[Andrew Santino]

You know how your battery dies in your car? You need a little jump.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Jump, jump, jump, jump. And it really does work, fellas. You already know what time it is. It's time to level up. And Bluechew is just dropped something crazy. I'm talking next level championship belt gold plated energy.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

They're my favorite ingredients.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

And then Bluechew gold, my friend, dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Yep.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

So here's the idea.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Great squeeze. Great song.

[Andrew Santino]

Such a good song.

[Bobby Lee]

Squeeze is such a good band, isn't it really though?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, it's one of those bands that's underrated. I Think so.

[Bobby Lee]

Good.

[Andrew Santino]

People don't. People don't really know Squeeze is such a good band. Oh, dude, I heard a song yesterday I was going to text you.

[Bobby Lee]

Which is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Because I was like, you know how sometimes you don't hear a lyric, you heard it for years, but then you don't think anything of it and you hear it again and you're like, that's what the. They were saying. Yeah, like you know what they're saying. But it's a song where he says. He says, and.

[Bobby Lee]

I've never seen you do that before. That was scary. Something happened.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but you know, it's like. But get behind the wheel.

[Bobby Lee]

Who does that?

[Andrew Santino]

Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's like a chess master would do that. If they lost, they go check them out. And you go.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't think of the name of the song I was thinking of too. And it goes, get behind the wheel of a thing. And it's like after you're drinking, you're talking about drinking. Then after you. After you. Then you get behind the wheel and crash into a something. And it's this. And that's not what the song is about.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm so bummed that I can't think of that.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what song that you got me stuck on. And I mad that you influenced me in this way.

[Andrew Santino]

What? Oh, let's Black Eyed Peas. Let's get it started.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. Oh, guess what it is. Guess what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

What song did I get you stuck on? Oh, I'm thinking what I just recently gave you.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll give you the gist of it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What? That's not it.

[Andrew Santino]

That Bill Nye song is so good. Wait, play this real fast. This makes me laugh. So this. Pause it. They can't say bill, so they say beer, beer, beer. It's the funniest. Gi Shin Kong Shin Chow. The Chinese. They're so fun.

[Bobby Lee]

So great.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, you guys are great filmmakers, but you don't do fun like that. Yeah, that's fun.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When you say you beer.

[Bobby Lee]

When you say you guys, what the do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, Koreans. You Korea. I just said you guys make great film, but you don't do goofball.

[Bobby Lee]

I can say beer, beer, beer, beer.

[Andrew Santino]

But this is what the Japanese and the Chinese do the best.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you the song.

[Andrew Santino]

Weirdo stuff. Oh, give me a hint.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. It's about. It's about a guy who's in a different country and he needs something from his dad. He's in trouble.

[Andrew Santino]

Lawyers, guns and money.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Every day I Listen, that song, it's.

[Andrew Santino]

Such a good dude.

[Bobby Lee]

That song. Warren Savant. Lawyers, Guns and Money. I listen to it every day because of you.

[Andrew Santino]

Send Lawyers, Guns and Money. This has hit the fan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Another one is the werewolf song I like, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Werewolves of London.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that kind of sounds like your stuff. Hi, Gi Shink. Culture. Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer warns Yvonne. That album will get you. It's not Relatable Boy. Why can't I think of the excitable boy?

[Producer McCone]

Sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, so.

[Bobby Lee]

What a talent. It's funny. It's like you discover things like, you know, I'm a music guy. Yeah. But it just. I never was introduced to him until I met you.

[Andrew Santino]

It's so funny. This is exactly something you would love.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. I like. I can't believe it. Like, I. You know, when I listen to it now, I'm like. It's so interesting because maybe, you know, another band that was like that with me is Joy Division.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I love Joy Division.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I saw. I didn't like Joy Division until I saw 24 Hour Party People. You ever see that movie? It's about the Manchester music scene and Joy Division's in it. There's. There's like a club scene where Joy Division is playing and you're going, what is this?

[Andrew Santino]

And they're playing in the movie as themselves.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they're not in the movie. They're actors playing Joy Division. And the guy does such a good job at portraying Ian McKay. Ian Curtis eating Ian Curtis. And I'm like, holy, who is this? And then I Google it. It was like, oh, it's Joy Division. And then I just became obsessed. But it just never was something that, when I initially heard it, you know, it didn't land. It didn't land with me.

[Andrew Santino]

And so Steve Coogan is so talented, by the way. It's like one of the. One of the funniest, smartest dudes. I think it's so funny how, like, American culture doesn't really know Steve Coogan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I would. You'd argue most Americans don't know who that is. Right?

[Producer McCone]

Damien Cockburn.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Mr. Cockburn.

[Producer McCone]

You see these.

[Andrew Santino]

The trips are great.

[Bobby Lee]

Love.

[Andrew Santino]

That's why Americans might know them because of the trips. But I just think they're so popular in. In England and not as much here. Yeah, but those movies are so good. The original trip is the best.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

It's just like. It's them two. It's literally like a kind of like a loose. It's like a loose Concept film about these two. It feels docu style, but it's not. But it is.

[Producer McCone]

Heightened versions of themselves.

[Andrew Santino]

They're in Hollywood still like, it's them, but it's not. It's. It's very brilliant. And it's just two best friends on vacation. Then they just get themselves into some other movies.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. There's a series.

[Bobby Lee]

Are they good?

[Andrew Santino]

They're fantastic.

[Bobby Lee]

They're funny.

[Andrew Santino]

We should do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we should. We should do that.

[Andrew Santino]

We should do our version of the trip.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I went to a Christmas party last night.

[Andrew Santino]

Who? Who?

[Bobby Lee]

Arden Marin.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I know. I heard. You told me this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But it was her and Bert.

[Bobby Lee]

Bert was there? Yeah, it was her party, but Bert was there.

[Andrew Santino]

At her house.

[Bobby Lee]

At her house. And I ran into one of my favorite people of all time.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me guess.

[Bobby Lee]

MH is his initials.

[Andrew Santino]

Kevin Spacey.

[Bobby Lee]

Mh.

[Andrew Santino]

Man, there's a lot of young boys here.

[Bobby Lee]

Michael Hitchcock.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know who that is.

[Bobby Lee]

You ever see Best in Show Love?

[Andrew Santino]

Best in Show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. He's great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Hitchhi was there.

[Andrew Santino]

So he was there at Arden's house. How was the. How was the party?

[Bobby Lee]

I was there for five minutes.

[Andrew Santino]

So it was a good party.

[Bobby Lee]

I do, like a five minute. Whenever she has a party, I do five minutes. I'll do around, hug, and then leave.

[Andrew Santino]

Why? Why go then?

[Bobby Lee]

Because I show. Because my therapist. Because, you know, you know, I'm a loner.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I don't leave the house.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So my therapist is like, you gotta just try to participate. So I try to participate.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. But I. See, I disagree. You're 54 years old at this point. Don't do anything. You don't.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but if you look at my mom, that's where I'm headed.

[Andrew Santino]

She looks great.

[Bobby Lee]

I know she looks great, but she doesn't like leaving the house. And she only plays iPad games.

[Andrew Santino]

What's wrong with it?

[Bobby Lee]

There's nothing wrong with it, but it's like, you know, I want to be able to. You know, how do you. You got to be social. That's a part of the human condition.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not. No. You already did it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I did?

[Andrew Santino]

For 54 years you've did it. Oh, you paid all your dues. You don't owe anybody. You can go or don't go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm just. I think I'm like my mom.

[Andrew Santino]

It's great. Yeah. She looks happy and healthy. But by the way, she got frustrated because she logged out of YouTube. That was like a huge debacle. Oh, yeah. She was like, YouTube. YouTube.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And you're like, mom, we'll do it. And she's like, now you're like, we're doing the podcast.

[Bobby Lee]

That's another thing that I have. I want it now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

If you wanted YouTube now, that is. I want mine.

[Andrew Santino]

That's exactly how you are.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it now. Do it now.

[Andrew Santino]

You want it right now?

[Bobby Lee]

I want it right now. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But. But you're not a guy that if you say you're going to do it, doesn't mean you're going to do it now.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

You want things done right now. Yeah, but if you say you're going to do something, doesn't mean you. You're going to.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I don't do it now, right? Yeah, yeah. No, you have to do it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do it when I want to do it. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm that guy. I make up my mind and I'm gonna do something. I just do it. And.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Even if it's like. Even it's. It's chunking time out of something else, if I really want to do it, I'm gonna do it. I don't give a shit.

[Bobby Lee]

I was like that with tennis rackets and ice skates. What, not enough? What?

[Producer McCone]

Not enough?

[Bobby Lee]

No. The other day I was like, I need tennis rackets. I went and did it. I woke up and I'm getting tennis rackets.

[Andrew Santino]

See, I like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I like.

[Bobby Lee]

I want ice skates.

[Andrew Santino]

Ice skates.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

And they just stay in my closet for like.

[Andrew Santino]

But you got them?

[Bobby Lee]

I got them.

[Andrew Santino]

Just in case we need to skate.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Because I've had a lot of people go, you want to play tennis? I go, I gotta get rackets.

[Andrew Santino]

Who, Kirk? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Other people. Just people. Just random people. You want to play tennis? I don't play tennis with you.

[Andrew Santino]

But you don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I didn't have any rackets. Now I have.

[Andrew Santino]

Now. You got how many rackets?

[Bobby Lee]

Just two prints. Red ones.

[Andrew Santino]

Two print. So you bought two rackets even though you need one?

[Bobby Lee]

I always have two over prepared. No.

[Andrew Santino]

In case you break one.

[Bobby Lee]

I hit so hard. Dude. I was on the tennis team in high school. I told you that. I got those red ones right there.

[Andrew Santino]

Tell me your. Your. What was the food at Arden's house?

[Bobby Lee]

Tacos.

[Andrew Santino]

A taco truck?

[Bobby Lee]

No, just tacos in the house.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's got. Who made tacos? In the house.

[Bobby Lee]

So I was there with Andrea. Jen, she came too. Yeah. And she started eating the tacos. And I. You never. I. I don't know about you. You probably do it here. Here. Here's what I like about your parties versus other parties.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So at your parties, you have a dude making it.

[Andrew Santino]

Correct.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, I've been to Carlos Mena's house at. For his parties. He has a guy.

[Andrew Santino]

You pay for someone to make the.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. So he's.

[Andrew Santino]

Then you can enjoy the party.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, whatever. The.

[Andrew Santino]

Beer.

[Bobby Lee]

Beer, beer. Right, right. So. But then you go to some houses, and there. It's just there, sitting in a cylinder.

[Andrew Santino]

Like it was ordered or they made it earlier.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know how it came about. I don't know how it manifests itself.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't like it either way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I need to see it made, huh. On the spot.

[Andrew Santino]

I understand what you're saying.

[Bobby Lee]

So if it's sitting there, who knows? It could have been there yesterday.

[Andrew Santino]

They had. Do you know you had two parties? You got day two party.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So then Andrea took. Ate a hot. A taco, and I was like, I wouldn't eat that. She goes, you're weird. And then 30 minutes later, she goes, my tummy hurts.

[Andrew Santino]

See?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. See?

[Andrew Santino]

See, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

You just see the guy make it?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that's like when we went to Tim's. Tim. When Tim had his house here, and he had. When Dylan had his Christmas parties, he would literally have a staff of 10 people cooking.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He had someone fucking. He had just a baker to make desserts.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He hired someone to bake just as a pastry chef. Is. I'm dumb? I can't say a pastry chef just for desserts. And then four chefs. Yep. Regular chefs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And they were doing the. Yes, chef. I heard the sous chef being like, do you know. Yes, Chef. Right here, Chef.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I was like, this is a kitchen. He's. He brought the bear to his fucking house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You know what else I like?

[Andrew Santino]

He's extravagant, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

He's an extravagant guy.

[Andrew Santino]

He is.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I also like places where it looks like a lab at a restaurant. For instance, you're at Ding Tai Fung, right? And there's a gigantic open window. And you see they're all in white with masks.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And they're folding the dumplings.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I love it.

[Bobby Lee]

You see them making the tortillas?

[Andrew Santino]

Homestay. They make them. They make them there.

[Bobby Lee]

They make it right in front of you. Right. So that. I like that Right there. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's like.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a lab.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the Wuhan lab. Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Bringing up the Wuhan lab.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they're making dumplings and Covid.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that's where they put Covid.

[Bobby Lee]

They're Asians. They have work ethic.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

They can do two things at once.

[Andrew Santino]

One guy up, he's like, oh, we're supposed to make Kobe today.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wasted all of his time making dumplings.

[Bobby Lee]

But don't you.

[Andrew Santino]

You.

[Bobby Lee]

You like ding tai fung?

[Andrew Santino]

Here's what I like about this. Yeah, I can see them putting in the work.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, did you see that video? The guy. That restaurant here in Southern California, they got in trouble. They got closed down. Cuz he was breaking up frozen ribs in the back of the restaurant.

[Bobby Lee]

I saw that. I saw that on the ground. That's so gross. Have you seen that? It was so gross.

[Andrew Santino]

Big frozen slab of ribs and he's.

[Bobby Lee]

Slamming it on the ground.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude. It was one of the funniest things I think I've ever seen. And then, then the. Yeah, that's him out back. Look at that. Play that video. He's behind the restaurant and he's just throwing the ribs on the ground. This is someone, like, from their apartment. Look at this. Hey. Just trying to break him up a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa. On a box. Yeah.

[Producer McCone]

Put the cardboard down.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at it. Falls on the ground three or four times. Yeah, it's all just fall on the ground. Look at that. Gross. Now here's my argument for this guy.

[Bobby Lee]

You're defending him.

[Andrew Santino]

He's Asian for a second.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well, yeah, he's not Asian.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, he is.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's not.

[Andrew Santino]

The way he's throwing is push pause. When it zooms in, you zoom in. No, let them do it here. She'll zoom in a little bit there. That's 100. An Asian guy.

[Bobby Lee]

I guess so there's.

[Andrew Santino]

There's literally no doubt about.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you're right.

[Andrew Santino]

The way he throws is Asian.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do Asians throw?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you can hear it. No, but listen here. Faux love. It was called faux love. And let me tell you why I'm defending him for a heartbeat. Permanently closed. That sucks. Here's my only semi defense. They're frozen. Nothing is sticking to frozen. No, you could literally dip that in trash, take it out, blow it off. It's nothing. It's frozen solid. Then when you cook it, you're cooking away. Whatever would be.

[Bobby Lee]

You can also wash it 100%.

[Andrew Santino]

It's frozen.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you're right.

[Andrew Santino]

It's frozen.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And by the way, I don't think.

[Bobby Lee]

The optics is good, though.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, it's bad also. How much. How much other shit do they do that with? Right. Like, like. And look at. There's a mop bucket right next to him. It's fucking gross. Yeah, but this is the thing. As Americans, we're spoiled rotten. This happens all over the fucking world, and they don't think twice.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you're right. I think the reason why I like the lab atmosphere, right, is you're. You have assurance.

[Andrew Santino]

You're assured.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I mean, you look in Ding Taifong and you're like, okay, he's not throwing that dumpling on the ground.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

And then some places when you don't. You don't know what goes. Like, I believe that, like, I think that, like, if you go to talk about some things, something. They spit in the stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't believe that.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think so. Because I worked at McDonald's. I worked at fast food.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We never did that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you. Because you're a good guy.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, but I didn't. Okay. There were some other friends of mine that were there that were up to no goodies. Yeah, they never did like that. You know what you would do instead? Because if you got caught doing that, dude, that's also against the law. You can. You could go to jail for that. Right? Spitting at someone food.

[Bobby Lee]

That's how easy it is to spit without anyone seeing.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a biohazard, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's bad. No guys would do like that. They would up their order on purpose. Ah, that happens all the time. Yeah, they'd be like this. And so they give them, like, one less nugget.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's like such a good. Because, by the way, you get the bag and most of us, you go for fries on the ride home. Unless you're really hungry, you're probably not gonna eat the nuggets until you get home and you open it up and see 5 instead of 6. Pissed. It's a perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

You're mad about that.

[Andrew Santino]

I'd be pissed. I want six. If I order six, I want six.

[Bobby Lee]

What if there's seven? Are you extra happy?

[Andrew Santino]

That's amazing. Are you not extra happy when an extra nugget falls in there?

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I don't like when a random thing that's in the nugget box, like one fry. I love that. No, I don't like that.

[Andrew Santino]

I Don't give me a rogue onion ring all day long.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want a rogue one.

[Andrew Santino]

Love it.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

What is he doing in there? He's on an adventure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he's like, I got free.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm like, stay with your kind, all right. Oh, whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Stay with your kind. Onion rings. Just to hang out with onion rings. All right. If you come over to, you know, I mean, French Fry Land, right? I'm calling ice.

[Andrew Santino]

It's Big Seg. That's. We should open up a fast food place called segregation.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Producer McCone]

Separate but equal.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, but they're not.

[Bobby Lee]

So you like that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Onion rings belong with onion rings.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, what about this?

[Andrew Santino]

You think I'm gonna let my onion ring date your French fry ass daughter? Yeah, bullshit. Ass. French fry ass daughter.

[Bobby Lee]

What if you open your. A nugget box and there's something in there that's not even on the menu?

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

Like, like, like, you know, like a sauteed duck.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, how good.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but you're a Taco Bell.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. It's a new menu item.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, Then it's something that's like, why would it be there?

[Andrew Santino]

Like an egg roll.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, like an egg roll. Yeah, you're right. You're at. You go to McDonald's fries, you open it and there's an egg roll in there.

[Andrew Santino]

Bonus. Bonus egg roll.

[Bobby Lee]

But where did it come from?

[Andrew Santino]

Who cares?

[Bobby Lee]

Is it the same thing as you're talking about? Like, I'm going for a ride. Yeah. Imagine that. Adventure.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

I took a door dash ride through McDonald's.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I hop out, I jump into the.

[Andrew Santino]

This does happen. Cuz they have KFC Taco Bell combo.

[Bobby Lee]

Places now that I can see.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, so that does happen. And I'd be okay with that.

[Bobby Lee]

I. Yeah, don't hit your ride.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't.

[Bobby Lee]

We're different in that way.

[Andrew Santino]

I understand.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

If it's fast food and it's fried, who cares how it got in there? I'll take it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. We used to with people in that ride, but we'd steal from that McDonald's. That's why my buddies got fired. Yeah, My buddy Chris. Because if our friends came, we'd give them as much stuff as we could. Yeah, it was hard to steal money. You could. We'd steal food, but sometimes you steal money. Sometimes you wouldn't put in a late order. If it was super late and they're in the window, you wouldn't punch it in. You would be like, yeah, yeah, I'll do it. And then you'd make up the number of what you think It'd be like 475. And then you would just go get the item and not ring it up.

[Bobby Lee]

Ooh, they used to do that at a comedy club. I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Seriously? Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Where they had an old system. And then the waitresses, they could like charge somebody and then void it easily.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, the voiding.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And then just take all the cash.

[Andrew Santino]

See, the voting is tough because it still shows up in the system. See, I've worked in restaurants. I know that system well. Yeah, because you get the manager. But can you void that drink out that no one wanted it, but then you give your buddy that drink. Okay, I've done that. But they're still traceable. With McDonald's, you would take the order but not take it down. Just go back to the kitchen and be like, can I get a double, double to go? And then they'll, you know, they slide you that double quarter pounder.

[Bobby Lee]

So the matter, they don't count the patties. What I mean by that is it's a box of.

[Andrew Santino]

You should see McDonald's gets a box of like 700 frozen patties.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but if I was. I'm Asian.

[Andrew Santino]

One, two.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm counting.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna do it all day.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, sometimes when I want a meal. Right. And I want all the nutrients that I need. Right. I go to kachava. Not only is it good for you, Right. The flavors are delicioso.

[Andrew Santino]

They very much are. They're very, very good. And they have a whole wide variety, including chocolate, vanilla, chai matcha, coconut, acai strawberry. This is your favorite, by the way, the little chocolate mint.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it.

[Andrew Santino]

This is one of your favorite.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it. Strawberry is good too. And there's six important things I believe in in life. What are they? You need energy. This supports all day energy and five key vitamins and minerals. What's my next one?

[Andrew Santino]

Probably digestion.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, you're so good. Keeps things regular with fiber, probiot, probiotics and enzymes. What's another one?

[Andrew Santino]

Probably strength.

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty good. And you can nail that fuel and replenish your muscles and protein and electrolytes.

[Andrew Santino]

Get yourself some better metabolism, cognition and immunity. Just two scoops provide 25 grams of protein, 6 grams of fiber, greens, adaptogens and so much more.

[Bobby Lee]

And the flavors, let's go back to the flavors. Okay. The flavors are chocolate, vanilla, chai matcha, coconut, acai strawberry.

[Andrew Santino]

So good. Rewild your [e-mail] and use a code. Bad friends. New customers get $20 off an order of two bags or more now through the 31st.

[Bobby Lee]

What a deal.

[Andrew Santino]

That's Cachava K A C h a v a.com code bad bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Shopify. If you have an online business, use Shopify. We use Shopify here at Bad Friends because we only use the best.

[Andrew Santino]

We only use the best to get you the merch that you love.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

2026 is the year you launch your business and the year you transform into an entrepreneur, founder, business boss, whatever that may be with one powerful move. Using Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time businesses owners just getting started.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, the best part is marketing is built in. Right? You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. And as you grow, Shopify grows with you. Right. You can. They can handle more offers, they can span to new markets and they can do all of this from the same dashboard. We've been using Shopify since the jump and we will continue to do so to get you Bad Friends, fans, whatever it is that you want from us.

[Bobby Lee]

And setup is fast. With Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit product photos in 2026.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com.

[Bobby Lee]

Bad friends go to shopify.com bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

That's sh.com bad friends. Hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side. You're counting every patty.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you don't have time if I'm the manager.

[Andrew Santino]

You have so much to do when you're the manager.

[Bobby Lee]

You're busy as like fries is one thing. That's insane. You mean you better count. We have 42,695 fries today. You know what I mean? You better not steal. That's crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Here's why it doesn't matter. Because at McDonald's, if you ever work in fast food, so much stuff ends up on the floor on accident.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Fries, a nugget patty. This happens because when you're. When people are moving.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Shit.

[Bobby Lee]

Spill. Corrected. I stand corrected.

[Andrew Santino]

You know. You know my favorite shit was when we'd have to replace the Coke bag. So. Because It's a perfect. McDonald's has like the perfect mixture of Coca Cola.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's why it's the best Coca Cola in the fucking world. Other than Mexican Coke in a bottle. But to go Coke is Max. Is McDonald's. Because their. Their syrup mixture is, like, perfectly measured, but it's so dense and sweet that you, like, hook up the sugar bag, the. The syrup bag, and it's got the. Then the carbonation and the. The soda water. Sometimes it would leak out of the top, like the plastic top. And I suck on that.

[Bobby Lee]

I know that.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, it's so good, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I like that.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it. You can feel your teeth falling out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's got to be like a thousand grams of sugar per, like, because it's. It's condensed. Yeah, it's so. Fuck, those are so good, dude. And the smell of those when you crack it open. Now these. Dude, I loved working at McDonald's. It was the best first job I ever had. I was 15. It was awesome. And I fed all my friends. I got paid good money.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, I. I got paid like a minimum wage. But it was like, good when you could still like. Yeah, look at that. Smoking a joint of McDonald's Coke.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, yo, did they drug test there?

[Producer McCone]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, this was a long time ago. They might now. I don't think they. No, they didn't drug test us because everyone we was there was on drugs.

[Bobby Lee]

Now would you feel safer when androids take over, like robot? Like if. Like. Because when you go to a McDonald's, eventually it's gonna be no humans working there.

[Andrew Santino]

That's fucking a bummer. Well, even now, I went to a McDonald's. Where were we? And you have to order through the fucking. You guys see the Tesla?

[Bobby Lee]

The Tesla diner in Hollywood? All. All robotized.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's. Let's burn it. Let's go burn it down. Is it just made out of cyber trucks?

[Bobby Lee]

That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

Fuck that place. Fuck him. Fuck that whole place. Stupid.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's the future guy.

[Andrew Santino]

No, there will still be a need for human.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we will. We'll want that.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that influencer.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, guys. I'm here with my tits and this robot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, he's making me popcorn.

[Bobby Lee]

The Korea Daily, of course. So funny. What's so funny about that? We happy.

[Producer McCone]

We made it all the way there. In their news. It's pretty cool.

[Andrew Santino]

We go deep. Do you really think that that's good you're there? You. That's. I think that people are still going to want people to run a thing.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. I like. I like the niche. Niche of it.

[Andrew Santino]

The niche of the future.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it's going to be everywhere. So the niche would be humans making food still.

[Bobby Lee]

But right now when I see a wegovy, I get excited. Then eventually you get excited.

[Andrew Santino]

Talking about way more.

[Bobby Lee]

You do get excited. Way more. I mean way more.

[Andrew Santino]

Way more. Suck.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. They're the best.

[Andrew Santino]

They stopped and it's. It stopped in front of us in the hotel when. Remember that? And it couldn't get by us.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Olympics are better.

[Andrew Santino]

Wayo suck. You don't like that? That I love it. No. Remember what the guy said to us in the car when he was like waymos are. Because what if you get into an accident? Something happens, the doors lock. You know, you can't get out of those things until you're at your destination. You couldn't just get out if you needed to in an emergency, like poo anything. You'd have to poo in the Waymo.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Waymo with toilet.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Come on up to the front if you have to.

[Bobby Lee]

But it doesn't blow your mind when you see a way.

[Andrew Santino]

But like it pisses me off.

[Bobby Lee]

Too slow, Bob.

[Andrew Santino]

They suck.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but it's just being backed. It's just so weird when you look at the driver's seat. There's no one in there.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, let me give for someone like you. I'm going to prove why you. You don't need, you don't want. Wh in the future if it's all wh and they're all self driving and no one gets to drive, then you have. Then everything is going to be on time. And you like that things aren't on time. You enjoy the fact that there's leeway and there's wiggle room. I like that about you.

[Bobby Lee]

Screw we go.

[Andrew Santino]

I just.

[Bobby Lee]

I like human error too.

[Andrew Santino]

Human error.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Human error.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, human error. That's where the magic happens.

[Andrew Santino]

The ribs on the ground.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. That's where the magic happens. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That stores closed down permanently. Faux love.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a nail in my breadstick. I love that.

[Andrew Santino]

It's fun story.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You eat it anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

Think about that. The news is not going to have anything to talk about if everything is automated.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How boring. How boring. There is no chaos anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

I want the chaos.

[Andrew Santino]

We love chaos. Anarchy, bro. That we do need. We need fucked up stories. We need wild to go down.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why when you if you married an Android, there's no human error there. There's no excitement.

[Andrew Santino]

It does anything you need it to do.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no fights and what's an argument? You want some art? You need some combative. We love drama. Think about a tv.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to watch Pride and Prejudice tonight, right? And you know that argument. Yeah. No. Come on, let's watch Casino. No. Last night was your movie night, Right? Tonight, Pride and Prejudice.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. I hate Pride and Prejudice.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you watch it?

[Andrew Santino]

Pride and Prejudice? Yeah, I've seen it. Years ago.

[Bobby Lee]

God, it's so crazy, because every girl that I know, like, gets angry that I haven't seen it.

[Andrew Santino]

You haven't seen Pride?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't even know what it is. There's a million versions, too. Yeah. Yeah. But they go, you haven't seen. It's a masterpiece. And I'm like, you just said that about the Notebook.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that was.

[Bobby Lee]

You think it's a masterpiece?

[Andrew Santino]

Can I tell you something?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Never saw it.

[Bobby Lee]

See, that's what I'm saying. That's.

[Andrew Santino]

I never saw the Notebook.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

There's films that I know. I. You know what's so funny? Like, I never saw Brokeback Mountain, but I got the gist. So I never saw. There's movies that I just never saw.

[Bobby Lee]

I got the jizz, too. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I got the jizz.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I got the jizz.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You know what? Can I be honest with you?

[Andrew Santino]

It's funny. I didn't see Brokeback Mountain, but I did see Moonlight.

[Bobby Lee]

I love moonlight.

[Andrew Santino]

It's just black. It's just black. Broke Back Mountain.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Black Back Mountain?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Broke Black Mountain?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I've never seen.

[Andrew Santino]

It's just. I'm not interested in seeing.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to see it, though, because I heard it's really good.

[Producer McCone]

We should all go see it.

[Andrew Santino]

Doubt it.

[Bobby Lee]

You've seen it.

[Producer McCone]

No. It's amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, why haven't you seen it?

[Producer McCone]

Just one of those.

[Bobby Lee]

I did.

[Producer McCone]

I realized I didn't even see the second Kill Bill till today.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

These guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Santino]

Kill Bill without us today.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what movie I'm trying to watch right now? It's hard to get through. I don't know why. Barry Lyndon.

[Producer McCone]

Oh, it's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

I know it's beautifully shot, but I can't get into it. Look at a Chinese. Look at wearing a cowboy hat.

[Andrew Santino]

I like Chinese cowboys once.

[Bobby Lee]

When have you seen them?

[Andrew Santino]

There's so many Chinese cowboys. You don't know that. There's a documentary about Chinese cowboys in China. Look, there's an Untold America about Chinese cowboys. You've never seen this?

[Producer McCone]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

It's amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, let's go to the historical photo. Zoom in. Look at that dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Giddy up, doggy.

[Producer McCone]

He's doing white eyes like you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he is doing white eyes on the right. Yeah, ride to them. A cowboy?

[Bobby Lee]

No, he just got an order he didn't want to do. Hey, man, you're gonna take that piece of dynamite going that hole, light it up.

[Andrew Santino]

What? Wait, this.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that.

[Andrew Santino]

That's Shen Yun. Yeah, that's just genuine backstage.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that. Is that in America?

[Producer McCone]

Yeah, but it's in 1888.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. There were Asians back then.

[Andrew Santino]

The good old days.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I'm sure they were like, I want to go back home now.

[Andrew Santino]

This is your home now, pal.

[Bobby Lee]

But do you think they were one.

[Andrew Santino]

Day miserable back then and one day your great, great grandson's gonna open up a Thai food joint?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

San Jose. And it will get closed down because of health code violations.

[Bobby Lee]

You know how I know it was bad for them? When you watch Tombstone, Deadwood, any of those things. There's only one guy.

[Andrew Santino]

One's if that one's enough, you know, I mean, but.

[Bobby Lee]

So where are the other people?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, you got one. I watched Goonies again. You know, I watched Goonies on the plane the other day.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a good movie.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a flawless movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's perfect.

[Andrew Santino]

It's exactly what a movie should be. It's an adventure. I watched back to back with Sandlot. I went sandlot Goonies. And I was like, this is perfect. These are just kids going on an adventure. That was. Movies at that era was just like, put them in a weird situation, have them go on a whimsical adventure. You go along for the ride, whether or not it's realistic, it doesn't matter. And a lovely.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't watch Sandlot. Why? Because my ex girlfriend is married to the star of Sandlot.

[Andrew Santino]

I think about it, the star is a vague. That's a vague term because there's a lot of stars in that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Scotty Smalls, the other guy, the chubby.

[Andrew Santino]

Guy, the redheaded guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Of. Of. What's your name? Porter. What's wrong with me?

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Ham Porter.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hamilton.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Pat. Pat Rena.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Go to Pat Rena. Right. Do you know why? It bums me out. And nothing against him. I'm sure he's a great guy. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's hot. Yeah.

[Producer McCone]

Money.

[Andrew Santino]

Who is that?

[Bobby Lee]

Jasmine, my ex girlfriend.

[Andrew Santino]

How long ago?

[Bobby Lee]

Many, many years ago. And when she. I was the. She was. He was the next guy she dated. And in my Head. I was like, oh, I'm him, you know? I mean, I'm like the Asian version of him.

[Andrew Santino]

You think so?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think I am.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got that sandlot money.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I thought you meant you were him for a second. About. About, like. What's that? Isn't there a movie? Is it Ryan Reynolds or someone? Like, he's the guy that the girl. After the girl sleeps with him, they. They get married and settle down. What's that movie?

[Producer McCone]

It's with Dane Cook.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, right.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it is. Dane Cook. The la. What is it called?

[Bobby Lee]

She's very pretty, huh? Jasmine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Look at their family. Go to the family.

[Andrew Santino]

That could have been you.

[Bobby Lee]

I know so many. So many of my ex girlfriends have kids now and are happy. They're just super happy. You prepare them for happiness, which is good. Oh, you think? You think I was there? Like the. The dirt dark. I can't even speak English. The dark chapter. No, the preparing for happiness dark chapter.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that. Was it my best friend's girl?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So he would hire him to try to bone her in order for her to fall back in love with him.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because. Yeah, Twisted Dane was on fire back then. That's. He was starring in movies, man. It's crazy. It's awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

Love him. Anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, look. Yeah, she's happy, you're happy.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know sometimes.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, what do you want? You want a family? Do you really want a family?

[Producer McCone]

No, he doesn't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I do.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he might.

[Producer McCone]

He would have had one already.

[Andrew Santino]

He can still have one.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I regret some things.

[Andrew Santino]

You got plenty of time.

[Bobby Lee]

Like the airport. I was at the airport, lax. And I would. Every time I tell you the story, I was at lax.

[Producer McCone]

What, you write another note to a girl?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, I was.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you hop off the planet LAX with a dream and a cardigan?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. What?

[Producer McCone]

Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I was haggard. I just done a weekend at some club and I was at LAX and I was tired and haggard and I have like my backpack. I'm walking through lax. In the distance I see this beautiful girl with a young husband and their kid and they're just laughing and I realize it's my ex girlfriend. And I run into them and she was like, oh, and we hugged.

[Andrew Santino]

Which one? Not that.

[Bobby Lee]

Not that one. No, it's a different. See, that's what I'm saying. I keep running into happiness and.

[Andrew Santino]

What? How did the conversation go?

[Bobby Lee]

I go, oh my God. We, you know, we hug. I meet the kid. You know, I Mean. And the dude. What's up, dude? What's up, man? You know what's up, home. You know what's up, homie? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Black guy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's the white guy. But it's like, we white guys can do this too.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but you're doing the homie thing. You keep going, what's up, homie?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what. How I talk.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. I'm urban.

[Andrew Santino]

Urban Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What's up, dog? And I do what's up? Right?

[Andrew Santino]

You said, what's up to the boyfriend.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then they go, well, see you later. And then they leave and I go, oh, you know, what did I do?

[Andrew Santino]

What. What did you want? Were you in love with that person?

[Bobby Lee]

I think I was. I think. Honestly, I think there's some relationship. I. Maybe I should have hung in there.

[Producer McCone]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't you think?

[Andrew Santino]

Don't say. Yup.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I. I believe that. I think I should have hung in there because in rough patches, right? I go, mayday, mayday. I gotta get out. Right. But that's the nature of relationships. You're gonna have rough patches, so.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And it's like, the next time, maybe stick in the rough patch. You know? I mean, and then you get out of it instead of, like, pulling the emergency cord.

[Andrew Santino]

But sometimes it's for the better.

[Bobby Lee]

But I don't think so. I think every relationship I've been in it, I should have just stayed in it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The butterfly effect. Now, you could go back in time and.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because it's like, if I look back, they were attractive, good people. Empathy, all the things. And then you see them happy. But then they would have been miserable with me.

[Andrew Santino]

How do you know that?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a dude. I'm a creature of the night, dude. Yeah. You know, I mean, five in the morning playing Ghost of Yotai. What are you doing? The sun is up. Shut up. All right. I still have to level up at 54. I'm like, that's what you. I gotta level up.

[Andrew Santino]

But that's who you are. Who cares?

[Bobby Lee]

To find that special gem? I need another girl. Like, I'm leveling up, too. Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

You need a leveler.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. We're playing two games at one time. Maybe that.

[Andrew Santino]

There's got to be a girl like this that exists.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

A girl that's obsessed with those kind of things, that loves her independence.

[Bobby Lee]

But then we would get nothing done.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you need to get done?

[Bobby Lee]

Make bread.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, you're a big Bread guy now.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I love, you know that show.

[Andrew Santino]

Great Bake Off.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but you know what I'm saying. I don't think you would want somebody exactly like you. That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

You'd want someone that has similar. Similar interests. Yeah, that's what I'm. That's what you're saying.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, because I remember with Kalila, it's like, you know, I mean, we're gonna do this thing, and I'm like. And normally I wouldn't do it, but when I do it, then you're like, oh, I'm glad I did it. If I'm with somebody that's like me, we would never do anything. You know what I mean? You just be sitting there, kind of perfect. No, I need. I need someone to, like, lead me into life with a celebrity. What?

[Producer McCone]

Only person you would like, respect. You need to be with someone.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I respect Common people.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like that song from Pulp, Common People. Okay. It's one of my favorite songs.

[Andrew Santino]

We call them civilians.

[Bobby Lee]

Civilians.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, they're civilians because we're like. We're weirdos. We're clowns. And those are civilians. Those are adult humans. And we're different. We're goofball.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We're children. We're clowns.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I thought about the other day? After doing last night, after doing Friday night, after doing that big show with Shane, and you do this huge show, and then you just end up in a hotel room by yourself, naked, after a shower, on a chair, hunched over.

[Producer McCone]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Literally hunched over. And just. Just like, what the fuck?

[Andrew Santino]

You could have got alone.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah, I think it's that you think that's going to make you happy, but you've been.

[Bobby Lee]

It doesn't.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah, I know. And you know that already. You're just.

[Bobby Lee]

Every time I get reminded.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah, but that stuff doesn't make anyone happy.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, there. You're happy because you were. That you did it. But it's. But everyone does have that moment at the end of the night of anything that you do or are people that get home from a long day at work, whether they like their job or not, everyone has a reflective moment in the shower, on the shitter, just being like. Yeah, because that happened. That's human nature.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's just. That's the feeling of everything. It's like when you buy something you've always wanted, then you get it and you don't even fucking give a shit.

[Bobby Lee]

That's.

[Andrew Santino]

That's everything. That's every. So if you can't be happy now, you're never going to be happy, then.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm trying to find it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Although I did hear that quote today on fucking TikTok. It bothered me so much. Warren Buffett was doing a speech and he's like, if you're. If you're not happy with fifty thousand or a hundred thousand, you're not going to be happy with a hundred million. It's not going to make a difference. It's like, oh, my God, billions of dollars, you idiot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

What are you talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

What are you talking. Yeah, and then he does kind of back it up by saying like, oh, yeah. And then there's a. There is a threshold of money that. That makes people.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Gives people comfort and everything. But, like, he's trying to do this. Whenever somebody like that, like, like, like an Elon Musk or like a Zuckerberg does that thing where they're like, it's not gonna make you happy, man. And I gotta tell you, just gotta find it now. All right, Later. Takes off in a jetpack.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And you're like, what are you talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I had a driver the other day, and it made me really, like, reflect. And I go, you know, I talked to all the drivers.

[Andrew Santino]

You love talking to the drivers.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm like, what's up? What's up, dude? You know, you talk. I was getting into his life. He's like. And we got into his life. He's married, two kids. And then I go, you happy? He goes, well, let me. When I go home after this shift, I'm gonna sit in my driveway for an hour and just look at Tick Tock before I go inside the house. Yeah. And I go, why? He goes, I just don't want to be there.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

I thought he wanted some like, self talk.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no, no. He goes, because when I go in there, I'm just so unhappy.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

And he goes, I'm only with my wife because we have two young daughters and I'm gonna stay together for them.

[Andrew Santino]

Andres was your driver.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was, I was like, dude, just figure that out. That sounds like a nightmare. He goes, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because what is he gonna do, break up a family? And he.

[Bobby Lee]

And that's what I'm saying. But that's. That's. I don't want that. I think that's what I'm looking for, something perfect. Because I don't want that. I don't want to, you know, I.

[Andrew Santino]

Mean, but perfect doesn't exist.

[Bobby Lee]

But the. To be dreadful going home.

[Andrew Santino]

But I don't think that's. I don't think that's going to happen to you either. I think that guy made his reality.

[Bobby Lee]

Doesn't that sound like a nightmare?

[Andrew Santino]

You don't know what else is going on in his life.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I. I got into. He goes, what happened? He goes, my wife doesn't want to compromise. She. It's her road or the high road, you know, I mean. And what. Why you left at.

[Producer McCone]

That's the saying. You got it right. I was just.

[Bobby Lee]

Why'd you laugh at it? Because they don't get it wrong.

[Producer McCone]

You said it a little funny, that's all.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you say it?

[Producer McCone]

My way or the highway is my.

[Bobby Lee]

High or the right way? And he was like saying, like, you know, I can't, you know, I mean, do what I want to do. It's always her way.

[Andrew Santino]

Did he say what he wanted to do? Oh, you mean just in general?

[Bobby Lee]

In general, like, it's like, you know, I mean, as soon as I get in the house, like, do the this, do that, do this. You know, I mean. And also, he said that I haven't had sex with her in 90 days or 100 days. He doesn't want to have sex.

[Andrew Santino]

Doing like a cleanse or something?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, she just doesn't want to do it. So my point is, is that it's just. He's trapped. And I don't want to be in a prison.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't want to be trapped in a loveless marriage or loveless relationship even.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to be free, you know?

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Well, then that's what I'm saying. Then don't ever. You don't need to.

[Bobby Lee]

But I believe that there is got to be somebody out there that has that. No, I. I understand about compromise.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You gotta come and I. I understand about that, but to feel trapped is a different thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that guy was a bad example.

[Bobby Lee]

Of what?

[Andrew Santino]

That. That's not gonna happen. That's not you. That's that man's plight.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That won't be you.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I like going on adventures as well.

[Andrew Santino]

You're an adventurous man. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think that's gonna be you.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, and I.

[Bobby Lee]

But. But you can see the fear.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's a real. I think it's a real emotion. It's a true feeling to have to. To be. You don't want to be with someone that you no longer are interested in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but this happened Last night I was at Ding Tai Fung, not Ding Taiong. I was at Sunundang, which is a restaurant.

[Andrew Santino]

It's another three. Three word.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. It's a Korean restaurant.

[Andrew Santino]

It was a ping pong dong.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was with Andrea Jin and my friend Andy. And we're. We see. See this couple, and you can see the guy. And we were talking about him. He was just like. And she's, like, doing all the talking, you know what I mean? And they kind of. It was like. There was some, like, a confrontation going on. We don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

We couldn't hear it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But you could just see how he's just so sad, you know? And I go, I know what that is, and I don't want that.

[Andrew Santino]

What was it?

[Bobby Lee]

Just trapped and bummed and, like, you know, I mean, like, I'm. I can't get out of the situation kind of, you know, I mean. And I don't want that. I think that's the worst thing. You know, it's. It's also like sometimes relationships, you. They turn into your mother. Because I do have childlike behavior, so women want to mother me, like, do this, do that, because you're not acting normal. But I want somebody that's. Accept the fact that I'm just the way I am, because I'm not going to really change that much. I'll provide. I'm fun. You know what I mean? But it's.

[Andrew Santino]

What's so funny is that your dating profile? I'll provide. I'm fun.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the Bobby elite.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But, you know, I think.

[Andrew Santino]

I think because when I see you.

[Bobby Lee]

And your wife, I don't feel that. I feel like, you know, she's just so cool.

[Andrew Santino]

It's my homie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, and you're lucky.

[Andrew Santino]

But we all have. We have Fancy and his wife have. There's just stuff that happens and you got to wiggle your way through it. Now if I was. If I had that guy's fucking thing, the drivers, like, I sit in my car because I don't want to go inside.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm out of that relationship.

[Producer McCone]

That's.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't. That's crazy. That's that guy.

[Bobby Lee]

But you. You got to understand, I'm stuck. I have kids, you know, I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

There'S a way out of everything.

[Bobby Lee]

You think so?

[Andrew Santino]

100%. That guy shouldn't be in that. Also, that's worse for the kids because he's probably not present. He's probably. They're probably like Daddy. And he's like, you know, the fuck out of my face. Yeah, get away from me. I don't like you.

[Bobby Lee]

But I see signs up front. I went on a date. And she goes, you're not gonna believe this. She gets in my car. She goes, don't drive yet. I go, why? She goes, I want to connect my phone into your Bluetooth so we can play my music.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, God.

[Producer McCone]

Immediately stop it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the first thing she said.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, but you could go along and go, okay, maybe I want to hear your tunes. Maybe she want to share tunes with me.

[Bobby Lee]

You know why my sideburns are shaved?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

She went. She grabbed my cigarette. This is not gonna do my sideburns.

[Andrew Santino]

This girl made you shave those?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Just a couple days later, I looked in the mirror and go, maybe she's right. Maybe it's too grizzly.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I just shaved them.

[Andrew Santino]

But they were grizzly.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, they were long and grizzly. Some of the white hair.

[Andrew Santino]

I love it. It's great.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you do, but she did that, and I was like, oh, I can't do this. Because that's the. The beginning. Yeah, that's up front, dude. That's what you're opening with.

[Andrew Santino]

But what. What if she gets all the heavy out of the way up top? What if that's the only thing that.

[Bobby Lee]

Bothers sideburns and I had to play my music?

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

Those are the only problems.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, that's pretty good.

[Bobby Lee]

That is pretty good.

[Andrew Santino]

In the long and their dating profile, it's like, look, I hate sideburns and I got to play my music, but outside of that, I'm chill chick on earth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but that. I mean, those are warning signs. No.

[Andrew Santino]

So you're never going to talk to that girl again?

[Bobby Lee]

I haven't, no. Yeah, because it was like. It just felt, you know, it's just hot. But that's nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

They're all hot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Every girl is hot with you. I said that to someone. Who was I talking to you guys? And I was like, they're all hot. They're all hot.

[Bobby Lee]

But now it's like, I can't do it if they're like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it doesn't matter that they're hot, because they're it. That's not. It's not. There's more that you need there's more than you need there's more that you.

[Bobby Lee]

Need there's more that you need.

[Producer McCone]

This is also the New Year's episode. If you want to talk about resolutions.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you a producer? Can I be honest with you, McCone?

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you a producer on the show?

[Producer McCone]

You're his boss?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, what. Let me ask you, what is your job description?

[Producer McCone]

It's vague and it changes often, but.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it telling me what to do? No. Is that. No. Is that your job description, telling me what to do? Feed you the.

[Producer McCone]

Feed you the ball?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you come up with that segment Resolutions? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Producer McCone]

New Year. New.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You know what? We're not doing that.

[Producer McCone]

That's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You have any other suggestions?

[Producer McCone]

Not right now, but I'll let you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. Now look what? You're. You're getting mad. Yeah, Right? You're getting a little angry and rageful, right?

[Producer McCone]

Resentment.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Why the resentment?

[Producer McCone]

I'm just kidding.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Why the resentment, though? Let's get this out. Maybe that should be the New Year's, right? Yeah, yeah. What's going on?

[Producer McCone]

No, there's no reason.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, there is, because you're hiding. I can tell. All right. We're good.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah, we're all good.

[Bobby Lee]

I could see your face, though. You can't hide your face when I see you sometimes. Like, you know what? Last time we got a little. You did a face.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

When was it Was the last time.

[Producer McCone]

We got into it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it wasn't getting. It was something that happened in Phoenix.

[Producer McCone]

I don't remember.

[Bobby Lee]

You got your camera in my face, remember?

[Producer McCone]

No. Yeah, it happens a lot. I don't take these things you say seriously because you're just. You're a funny, silly guy. He doesn't take you seriously.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn. He doesn't take you seriously.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm talking about, dude.

[Producer McCone]

Intimidating guy.

[Andrew Santino]

He said that to me one time. He goes, bobby, I don't take him seriously.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you want to get. You want me to get intimidating?

[Producer McCone]

You can try.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

You can try.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Producer McCone]

I love you so much.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, okay, I'll try. I'll try. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try.

[Andrew Santino]

You can try.

[Bobby Lee]

That's my new year. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try to be intimidating. Okay. Yeah. That's fun. What are you gonna do new year?

[Producer McCone]

I'm trying to stay more consistent at the gym.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. I was going to say you should be looking for a new job.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Might have to replace you.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, for your age. Here's another thing that you do that. It's Crafty McOne. It's his networking. I see it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, right.

[Bobby Lee]

You. I mean, like, when we're backstage and him talking to Shane.

[Andrew Santino]

He's always trying to chum it up.

[Bobby Lee]

Try chum it up. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Chummy guy.

[Bobby Lee]

And I wanted to go, sh. And go, oh, no, that's. That's a camera guy, you know, Did. He's just a kid camera guy.

[Andrew Santino]

He did say that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I. Did I say that? You did say. Yeah, I interrupted them.

[Producer McCone]

And Shane went, no, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Talking to me. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Ooh, you see he's snapping on you a little.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I got it. Yeah, yeah.

[Producer McCone]

I'm just saying. What happened?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This is interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

It's interesting. Andrew gave him wins, though. What wins?

[Producer McCone]

This guy.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I gave him wins.

[Bobby Lee]

You pulled him up. Wings.

[Producer McCone]

Wings.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I was like, I gave him wins.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I think you influenced him. He thinks you're. He's. You. No. Yeah, yeah. He's an extension of your arm.

[Andrew Santino]

He's an extension of my leg.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's holding on to my leg. Daddy, Daddy. I gave him. I gave him.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

I gave him lift. And so now he's flying at 35, 000ft, and he. He belongs in a Cessna below oxygen levels, right where he.

[Bobby Lee]

He thinks we're peers, right?

[Andrew Santino]

He does.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you think we're peers?

[Producer McCone]

I think at this point, we're. We're work friends.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's not what he asked you.

[Producer McCone]

Definitely. I don't think we're peers, Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

I think.

[Producer McCone]

But also, I'm not a comedian, so it's a different thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah.

[Producer McCone]

I feel like if I was like an open mic or I want to be a comic maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

Ah.

[Producer McCone]

But I'm not. I'm not in that.

[Bobby Lee]

We work together on this side. We work together.

[Producer McCone]

I know, but it's like we're. There's different planes. I'm not even.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you think that you have as much power as I do on the show? No. Be honest.

[Producer McCone]

No, of course.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What do you think the power levels are, though?

[Producer McCone]

You're 10,000 and I'm, you know, 50.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you know. Well, then tell yourself that you're 50. 50.

[Producer McCone]

I mean, it's a. It's a weighted scale.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know if you're 50. Yeah, I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

You're 50. What do you think? If I'm.

[Andrew Santino]

If you're 50 and he's 100,000, what's.

[Producer McCone]

Andres Andreas is like 99,000.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

So he's.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't make me one of these.

[Andrew Santino]

So he's. So you guys have talked about this before. Obviously. Doesn't that sound like they've discussed this. So you're 10,000 less than us.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

And what is 300,000?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I'm, I'm 100,000. He's 300,000.

[Producer McCone]

99, 75.

[Bobby Lee]

1050. And he's 300. I'm 100,000. Yeah. Okay. In what way, though? The edit.

[Producer McCone]

There's so much control in the edit and the influence. The original voice of the show shaped into what he is.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you're talking about Andreas right now, right? No, I'm talking about. Why is he 200,000 more?

[Producer McCone]

I mean, just planning stuff, putting stuff together, or Special Olympics events.

[Andrew Santino]

He's trolling you so hard right now. It's fucking. I didn't. It's getting to you, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't let him troll you.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm really mad. I'm really mad right now because he's.

[Andrew Santino]

Trolling you and it's working.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's why we come to this. Every year to this point where I get this mad and then I forget about it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

The year goes on. I forget. But I think my New Year's resolution is not to forget.

[Andrew Santino]

Never forget.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not intimidating. Right. And I have no power.

[Producer McCone]

No, you have less power.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But if either one of us. Right. Leaves the show, the show's over. Of course. Right. So I would say that we're 50. 50 or 50. 50.

[Producer McCone]

Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but not in your eyes.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah, It's a weighted 51. 50 is a little heavier than the other dude.

[Andrew Santino]

He is.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

He's logged in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

That's very interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

It's very interesting stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

I feel like he's doing a very good job. And Carlos has stayed, like, eerily quiet. He doesn't want to up any.

[Bobby Lee]

Because he, he's learned.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah, because you do the forgetting thing with me a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Producer McCone]

I have to.

[Bobby Lee]

I forgive. No, with him, I forget. For you, I forgive. Yeah. Okay. Don't get me wrong. I always remember. But I forgave you for those things.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. But for you, I forget. I go, oh, he's, he's not as, as annoying as I thought. Yeah, but then he is.

[Andrew Santino]

He is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Producer McCone]

I think I'm just a little sad that you canceled on Kill Bill today.

[Bobby Lee]

He canceled as well.

[Andrew Santino]

I had work to do.

[Producer McCone]

You canceled to sleep in.

[Bobby Lee]

I, I, it started at 1pm I had to work. I hadn't slept in four days. I said, okay. I was, I went from Vegas to Phoenix to Here. All right. I hadn't slept. And in my. And tomorrow I have the busiest day imaginable. So in my mind, like, Sunday is the only day I can sleep in. I'm not gonna wake up during my sleep in day and go, I'm gonna go watch Kill Bill. I'd rather sleep in. What do I do? Andrew, I need your advice. We're at a precipice here.

[Andrew Santino]

I think, as the boss, you need to play. You need to take some sort of disciplinary action. Now. Is that like a temporary suspension from the show?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. What do I do, though? I'm just be my advisor.

[Andrew Santino]

I think perhaps the temporary suspension might be there. I mean, not an expulsion, but, you know, I don't know. If he's terminated. You want to terminate?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

He's. How close is he for termination?

[Bobby Lee]

I think I'm gonna do it because he. He's not intimidated, and he's not. He doesn't believe that I'm gonna do it. You know what I mean? And I'm gonna have to do it so that he believes I. I.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, dude, the power's in your hands.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I ask you something, Andreas, real quick, before I do what I'm gonna do? Right. Who has all the cut footage of. Of bad friends? You do. He has. No, he has none of that to blackmail me or to put it online.

[Producer McCone]

No, I have tour footage.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why he does have tour footage.

[Producer McCone]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I see a lot of things. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But that's our property. That's illegal for him to. We can. We can. We can.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I think he would if I fired him.

[Andrew Santino]

You think he would release.

[Bobby Lee]

He would leak that stuff out.

[Andrew Santino]

He won't.

[Bobby Lee]

You're fired. It sounded intimidating to me. Yeah, yeah. You're fired. Why are you blushing?

[Producer McCone]

Well, I just want to know if there's anything I can do to win back.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Smart thing, because with your networking, this is. What. You're not playing it right.

[Producer McCone]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. The plate is. Even if you believe these things. Right. You say the opposite. Right. There's things that, like, you know, you, Pauly Shore, or back in. When I was a kid, you know me. Or what Mitzi Shore would say that I, like, didn't believe or. Or, like, you know what I mean? But I wouldn't say it out loud. That's insane.

[Producer McCone]

I got you.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Producer McCone]

So it's like, wear the pants on the podcast.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. Yeah. You have to do it subtly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not as overt, you know, I mean, like, you know, I mean, you got to train, Take some acting classes or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, how about this, you know, I.

[Bobby Lee]

Mean, you want to.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you want to dock his pay?

[Bobby Lee]

No, just let him down. Give a.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, here's here. This is fun.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's okay. What if we get this punishment? He doesn't care.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't care. What if he gives his money divided into half to. Half goes to Fancy, and then the other half goes to Carlo?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, he needs money. So it's like. Just let him do what he wants.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he can sleep here at the studio. He used to do it. He did it when he had asbestos.

[Bobby Lee]

At this point, it's like, you know, I mean, I. I worked so hard to get to this place.

[Andrew Santino]

You did well.

[Bobby Lee]

Still don't respect me. It's fine. I'm used to it.

[Andrew Santino]

He respects you.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I'm you. I'm used to it. I've seen it.

[Andrew Santino]

Raise your hand if you respect Bob in the studio.

[Bobby Lee]

Put your hand down. I don't. Honestly, McCone, I don't care. Any of you guys. All right? That's my New Year's resolution. I'm just gonna do what I do, you know?

[Andrew Santino]

It's a good start to the year.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

2026 is off to a hot start.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you what I'm looking forward to.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I want to hear everything.

[Andrew Santino]

A long winter's nap.

[Bobby Lee]

Me, too.

[Andrew Santino]

With mom and her kerchief and me and my cap. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait to just lay down for, like, a couple weeks. I need it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna go on my horse.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to go on your horse.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And just ride around that game. Ghost of Yotai.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? Go on adventures.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's get you a real horse. No, you could keep a mini horse at your house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You got room back there?

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I realized about you the other day?

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

If you're not good at it, you won't do it.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

So when we were backstage in Phoenix, where we're playing that video game, and we're like, come on, play it. You're like, nah, you played one round and that was it. Because if you're not good at it, you won't participate.

[Andrew Santino]

Partially true. I also didn't care to play.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that. But I think that's a part of it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, I'll try. I'll do stuff that I'm not. That Good at. I play tennis. I'm not that good at tennis.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but when it comes to stuff like that, you're like, I just.

[Andrew Santino]

It was. It's cool to watch, but I don't care about video games. I just don't care.

[Bobby Lee]

I like the competitive. You don't like the competitiveness of it.

[Andrew Santino]

I love competition. But I like physical competition was a.

[Bobby Lee]

Game where you mean you had four characters and you're just trying to throw them off of a building.

[Andrew Santino]

It's great.

[Bobby Lee]

It was.

[Andrew Santino]

It was so fun to watch. So far, I was more of a. The spectating of it was fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But no, I just. I like physical. I like. I like games that I can play. That. It's an exi. It's an exercise of my.

[Bobby Lee]

We've talked about this before. Okay. Ability zone.

[Andrew Santino]

Tweet, tweet. Your zone.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I need?

[Andrew Santino]

It's either your way.

[Bobby Lee]

I need speech class. I think. Yeah. Don't you think? Why isn't anyone who told me I need speech class? And the thing is, is this. I say that a lot. Don't. I say that a lot?

[Andrew Santino]

And I say. Let me tell you something. We say the same things.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's a. It's a habit of your communication on this.

[Bobby Lee]

But sometimes I'll commit to a word that I don't know how to pronounce, but then it'll just come out of the train. I mean, the train will come out of the. Sometimes it'll come out the tunnel too early or whatever. That's a bad analogy. You know, I mean, it's tretsy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You do have a little.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'll just say it. I go, oh, I don't know the word, but it's coming out.

[Andrew Santino]

Let it happen.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the beauty. That's the beauty of your artistic mind. You let things fly where I think so fast.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not true. What you're saying. You're making fun of me.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I'm saying I just. You doing this made me laugh when you go, I think so fast. I didn't think it was a funny. It looks funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I think fast. Right. But then I want to get it out too fast, and then it comes out all weird.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how I write. Have you ever a hand? Right. I can't hand write because it's. There's too much brain.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Going like. And I just can't get it out. Well, more than anything, we hope everybody's 20, 26 is off to a killer start.

[Bobby Lee]

And we are still going to be doing bad friends in 2026. We cannot wait.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it's here now.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

And 2027 and 2028 and 2029.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And for people that want to know, we. In six years, the show will be coming to a close. When Bobby turns 60, we're gonna throw a big bash and show will be done in six years.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? Do you want to do that in six years when I'm 60? We should end it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? Because I'm gonna die.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I think that's. I think you need to retire.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You need. From this.

[Andrew Santino]

From podcasting.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think six years at 60 years old will be.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll drift into the wilderness.

[Andrew Santino]

You can just keep living the way you live.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I won't be doing podcasts.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's predict where the way you.

[Bobby Lee]

I feel at 54, I felt at 40. It's the same.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no. You're. You feel better than I'm going to feel when I'm your age for sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because I, I'm. I eat unhealthy and I still drink alcohol.

[Bobby Lee]

You have back discs that hurt.

[Andrew Santino]

I have back discs that hurt.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How about this? Let. This is a fun little predictive thing. Real quick.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

At 60, when we say goodbye to the show, where do you think your life looks like? What do you think my life looks like?

[Bobby Lee]

I think I'll have a kid.

[Andrew Santino]

It's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

By then.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

How many will have one kid?

[Andrew Santino]

How old is it?

[Bobby Lee]

Like 18? I'm gonna adopt. Good. I'm gonna adopt that. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. You might have a kid at 12.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna adopt a 12 year old.

[Andrew Santino]

You think at 60 you're gonna be in love and married?

[Bobby Lee]

No, Single father.

[Andrew Santino]

Single father?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. With an 18 year old Russian kid.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Where am I gonna be?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's gonna be great.

[Andrew Santino]

But go on. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're gonna make the stitching on the. On a baseball. See that baseball?

[Andrew Santino]

That's gonna be my job.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You just do that red stitching on.

[Andrew Santino]

So comedy. I'm out. Podcasting. I'm out.

[Bobby Lee]

Something's happened.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. So I need to go back to stitching.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

My original first love.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Stitching.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But you're going to be the best.

[Andrew Santino]

At it, so I'm the best stitcher in the world.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. So that's good.

[Andrew Santino]

That's good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Bobby Lee]

Who.