Rudy's Fantastic Fail

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends
Episode: Processing...
Release Date: November 19, 2024

Hosts:

• Bobby Lee
• Andrew Santino
• Rudy (Guest/Co-host)

---

1. Introduction to the Episode

In the "Processing..." episode of Bad Friends, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, accompanied by guest Rudy, dive into a mix of hilarious anecdotes, personal stories, and light-hearted banter. The trio navigates through various topics, blending humor with relatable life experiences, all while maintaining their signature comedic chemistry.

---

2. The Biology of Bees and Human Analogies

Discussion Points:

• Andrew Santino opens the episode with an intriguing conversation about the reproductive biology of male bees, known as drones.
• The hosts transition from the biology of bees to humorous analogies of human sexual dynamics, particularly focusing on large group sexual events.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Santino [00:54]: “Does a bee have a dick? Yes. Male bees, also known as drones, have a penis.”
• Andrew Santino [01:17]: “During the mating fight flight, several male bees called drones will be selected from thousands of others in their colony to mount the virgin queen bee mid-flight.”
• Bobby Lee [02:08]: “You ever get invited to those parties? Do you?”

Insights:

• The conversation humorously parallels the life-and-death stakes of bee reproduction with exaggerated human scenarios, highlighting the absurdity in both worlds.

---

3. Rudy's Academic Struggles and Supportive Banter

Discussion Points:

• Rudy shares his experience of failing a microbiology exam, leading to a light-hearted yet supportive exchange about academic challenges.
• Bobby and Andrew offer comedic advice and encouragement, emphasizing perseverance despite setbacks.

Notable Quotes:

• Rudy [07:50]: “I failed an exam.”
• Bobby Lee [08:06]: “Well, ask me some of the questions that's on the exam. Maybe I can answer them.”
• Andrew Santino [12:08]: “You have to use your hands. You have to get creative.”

Insights:

• The hosts showcase their ability to blend humor with genuine support, creating an environment where listeners feel both entertained and understood in their struggles.

---

4. Reflections on Favorite Movies and Iconic Scenes

Discussion Points:

• The trio delves into their favorite movies, notably Raising Arizona and Evil Dead 2, discussing memorable scenes and characters.
• They reminisce about the impact of specific moments, such as the montage in Raising Arizona where Nathan Arizona handles multiple babies.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [35:06]: “What part in Raising Arizona makes me really sad? The bad biker shooting the lizard.”
• Andrew Santino [35:14]: “Annabelle Chong is the queen of gangbang. She's the queen bee of this show.”

Insights:

• Their shared appreciation for classic comedies and horror films underscores the timeless nature of good storytelling and character development, bridging generational gaps through cinema.

---

5. Pet Care Anecdotes and Empathy for Animals

Discussion Points:

• Bobby Lee narrates a poignant story about rescuing a baby bird, emphasizing his empathy for animals and the emotional toll of witnessing suffering.
• The conversation shifts to the challenges of pet care, especially unexpected veterinary emergencies, highlighting the financial and emotional burdens pet owners often face.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [32:28]: “And then day three, I go back there and he's still... he was paralyzed after that.”
• Andrew Santino [23:35]: “The average salary for a vet in California is 171. Pretty good.”

Insights:

• The hosts use their personal experiences to shed light on the deeper bonds between humans and their pets, advocating for responsible pet ownership and the unforeseen challenges it entails.

---

6. Humorous Exchange on Shower Routines

Discussion Points:

• A light-hearted debate erupts over unconventional shower routines, with Bobby and Andrew sharing their unique habits.
• The conversation spirals into playful mockery, highlighting their comfort in discussing even the most mundane aspects of daily life.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Santino [45:00]: “I lick up your little clit.”
• Bobby Lee [46:07]: “I do sand angels on the...”

Insights:

• This segment underscores the hosts' ability to transform everyday activities into sources of comedy, reinforcing the podcast's entertaining and candid nature.

---

7. Navigating Career Challenges and Hollywood Anecdotes

Discussion Points:

• Bobby Lee recounts his challenging experiences in the entertainment industry, including struggles with low-paying gigs and navigating corporate dynamics.
• Andrew Santino shares his history with the TV show Punk'd, highlighting the pitfalls of early career choices and the realities of living in Hollywood.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [60:03]: “I just could barely make every...”
• Andrew Santino [56:37]: “Working at the studio, and I was worried about rent every month.”

Insights:

• The hosts offer a raw and unfiltered look into the competitive nature of the entertainment industry, resonating with listeners who have faced similar hurdles in their professional lives.

---

8. The Importance of Seizing Opportunities and Personal Growth

Discussion Points:

• The conversation shifts to personal development, emphasizing the importance of taking chances and learning from failures.
• Both hosts reflect on their growth, encouraging listeners to embrace opportunities despite the fear of failure.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [63:08]: “Life is hard, and it's hard out there to make a living.”
• Andrew Santino [63:13]: “What’s the worst that can happen is that it just doesn’t work the way you think.”

Insights:

• Bad Friends promotes a message of resilience and proactive engagement with life's challenges, inspiring listeners to pursue their ambitions despite obstacles.

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9. Closing Thoughts and Farewell

Discussion Points:

• As the episode wraps up, the hosts share heartfelt thank-yous to their audience, underscoring the supportive community they've built.
• Rudy adds a final note of appreciation, maintaining the episode's blend of humor and sincerity.

Notable Quotes:

• Rudy [64:10]: “Thank you for being a bad friend.”
• Bobby Lee [64:16]: “Dam.”

Insights:

• The closing moments reaffirm the bond between the hosts and their listeners, leaving the audience with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.

---

Conclusion

In this episode of Bad Friends, Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, and Rudy masterfully blend humor with heartfelt discussions, creating a relatable and entertaining experience for their audience. From dissecting the quirky biology of bees to sharing personal struggles and triumphs, the trio showcases their unique dynamic and genuine camaraderie. Listeners are treated to a rollercoaster of laughs, insights, and authentic moments that encapsulate the essence of friendship and resilience.

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Notable Exclusions:
Per the episode guidelines, all advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content sections have been omitted to focus solely on the substantive discussions and interactions between the hosts and guest.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huell. Your go to for complete nutrition, try.

[Andrew Santino]

Huell with 15% off today using code bad friends at my.huell.com bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, scary times USA. We did a live. It was really great.

[Andrew Santino]

So much fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you have to check it out, man.

[Andrew Santino]

You have to check it out. A lot of people think it might be up on YouTube. It's not.

[Bobby Lee]

It's only going to be never on YouTube.

[Andrew Santino]

Moment co bad Friends. Yeah, because in the description for 11 days, that's all we got left. We have 11 days hoodies and shirts and stuff. That's only custom for that. This was one of the most fun live episodes interactive with fans that we've done. We're going to keep doing them. We love them. But in 11 days. Gone forever.

[Bobby Lee]

Gone forever.

[Andrew Santino]

So go to Moment Co Bad Friends. Watch it.

[Bobby Lee]

You two are bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Who are these two idiots?

[Bobby Lee]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends. Friends. Does a bee have a dick?

[Andrew Santino]

Does it? Yes. Male bees, also known as drones, have a penis or penis. A penis.

[Rudy]

It gets ripped out.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

His penis is doomed to be ripped out from his body along with his intestines when he goes looking for love. So the moment he has sex, penis gone. Wow. One and done.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why they're very faithful.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. During the mating fight flight, several male bees called drones will be selected from thousands of others in their colony to mount the virgin queen bee mid flight. So they all. Oh, so she's a skank. So she takes it from all these. All these bees.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They give it to her and then they die.

[Bobby Lee]

You go. You have to raise your hand. What's up? What's up? We're like professors at a college. Yes, young lady.

[Andrew Santino]

Rudy, please.

[Rudy]

There's a video on TikTok about a girl that bang 101 men.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, that has nothing to do with bees. Queen bee.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, is that her name? Queen bee. It should be. Wait a minute. There's a woman who's banged 101 men. What?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

In her lifetime?

[Rudy]

No, like once.

[Andrew Santino]

Like in one sitting.

[Rudy]

In one day.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that. I mean, those are called gang bang. No, not gang bangs. What do they call them? Yeah, Gang bang. Gang bang. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's more than a gang bang. 101 guys, one day. That's a small colony.

[Bobby Lee]

You ever get invited to those parties? Do you?

[Andrew Santino]

I did get invited, but I couldn't make. I had a.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I be 102?

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine being 102 woman films aftermath of sleeping with 101 men in just 14 hours.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Going to be exhausted. Yeah, you got to be exhausted.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you rather be 102 or 1?

[Andrew Santino]

How much would you. How much would I have to pay you to sleep in that bed when it's done with 101 guys? I mean, honestly, for one night? Would you sleep in that bed after 100?

[Bobby Lee]

If I was in the thing? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no. This is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to sleep there if I'm like, I wasn't like, they're like, you're not a part of it.

[Andrew Santino]

How funny, though.

[Bobby Lee]

And then I'm like, I. Yeah, that's.

[Andrew Santino]

A good fantasy football punishment. You lose in your fantasy league. You got to sleep in the bed of 101. 101 dudes aftermath. Zoom in a little bit. That is awful.

[Bobby Lee]

Who litters at orgy?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Clean up after, right? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So many. You're just throwing paper towels and ketchup packets and like, what the is going on here, dude?

[Andrew Santino]

You called. You what? Yeah. You would.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, you would. Fried chicken and stuff. Yeah, I'm eating fried chicken. Well, you have to wait in line.

[Andrew Santino]

She's pretty.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you gonna do in line?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you'd be on your phone the whole time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'd be like, tick tocking, scrolling fried chick. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine if it's your turn to get up there and gang banger and you're like, dude, I am so close to finishing this, Goku. I have to finish this.

[Bobby Lee]

And I guess what else I'm eating, huh? Blue Chew.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, you are. She's actually very.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm blue chewing it.

[Andrew Santino]

She's pretty hot. Yeah, but you know what's so crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

About this is you just called me out a week ago about this. About being too, like a clean freak. You know me, I'd be waiting in line for the gangbang, cleaning up after everybody.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I know you've been.

[Andrew Santino]

Please don't leave all this, especially if.

[Bobby Lee]

It'S at your house. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

My God. That's why we don't host gang bangs anymore. Wait, so she's an only fans girl? Her name is Lily Phillips. Yeah. And she's so 101 guys in one day. Is she setting a. Is this at least a record?

[Bobby Lee]

No, there's no way. Yeah, I don't think that's a record. Yeah. Yeah, I think somebody did it a.

[Andrew Santino]

Thousand times in 14 hours.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no. 14 hours? I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a. That's so much.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, because technically they don't have to come. So you could just have. No, what I would do. What I would do is I'd lay there and go, just one pump so I can get. Just get through everyone.

[Andrew Santino]

That's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

One pump. And then you would have to use a condom, right?

[Andrew Santino]

I would fucking hope so.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

101, guys. I would hope you'd wrap it up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but is there.

[Rudy]

The girl said they. She didn't need like an STD test to prove that they're clean.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

They did not.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And did they wear a condom?

[Rudy]

You get first priority if you have like a proof. But you don't need.

[Bobby Lee]

They have a fast pass like Disneyland.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Front of the line, the way they fast pass. And then also, you know, they also have the fast pass. They have kids in wheelchairs that go next to it. Do those guys get to the front as well, or do they have to wait in line?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, for military first.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're boarding.

[Bobby Lee]

Military get to go for them.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, yeah, military and. And what is it? People. People who need more time to board. Yeah. Let them go first in the gang bang.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then we'll get to first class.

[Bobby Lee]

And the elderly.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, they got come on grabs. Let's go. I can't wait to peel your pussy to pieces.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So wait a minute, dude. Look, I just did the math because I'm stupid. 101 guys in seven guys an hour. Seven an hour.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

That's almost two guys every 15 minutes. So they are.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It must have sounded like a construction zone next door. Yeah, people would have been like, what's going on over there?

[Bobby Lee]

Which I don't know. I mean, I just. I don't know. I just wouldn't be able to get it up, I don't think.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, if I got a terminal illness.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm. I'm gonna tell my wife I gotta leave you and I gotta go join this world's greatest gang bang.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, I gotta go.

[Bobby Lee]

One time was on, I was at an audition.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, now this is how the Hollywood stuff starts.

[Bobby Lee]

Here we go. I was audition and I walk in and it was all like. It was finesse. Mitchell, Eric, like all my friends. And we were high fiving, right? We were making each other laugh, right? And then all of a sudden I hear somebody go, okay, Bobby. And I ate that audition. So it was fucking bad, right? The same thing's gonna happen at that fucking gangbang.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you're gonna fuck around.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna fuck around. Right what's up, dude? You know, I mean, great movie or whatever, right? You did a great job or whatever, Right? And then as soon as my name's called, I'm going to walk in there and it's going to be completely dead.

[Andrew Santino]

Nothing's going to work.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, man. I would have to.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe you get nervous.

[Bobby Lee]

I would grab a breast.

[Andrew Santino]

Gotta.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

I wonder what her rules.

[Bobby Lee]

I would try to get it going, you know? So I would grab a breast, and I would probably always go, are you okay? Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Is everything okay?

[Bobby Lee]

You wouldn't ask.

[Andrew Santino]

I'd be the first guy. I'd be the one guy who kisses her.

[Bobby Lee]

That's so funny. And she's like, what are you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I just want to foreplay a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

A little foreplay.

[Andrew Santino]

The world's biggest gangbang, by the way, was a Hollywood studio. Anna Annabelle Chong, one of ours. Look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Annabelle Chong.

[Andrew Santino]

300 men. Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Our Asian.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait, this is the best part. It said the participants were far fewer than advertise, so she only got to get to 251. Let's be nice. That's still incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Can we see a picture of Annabelle Chong, please?

[Bobby Lee]

It was in 95. That's in 1995.

[Andrew Santino]

And she's where? Go. Scroll down a little bit. Where's she from? Grace? Her born University of Southern California. She went to usc. She's from Singapore.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Hey, what does she look like?

[Andrew Santino]

Guess who's going to Singapore? Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Annabelle, if you're still working, Bob and I are coming with the Bad Friends crew. We'd love to meet you.

[Bobby Lee]

What does she look like now? Animal Chung.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, still pretty good.

[Rudy]

Oh, she's pretty.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

She, known professionally as Annabelle Chong, is a Singaporean former pornographic actress who became famous after starring in adult film that was performed at the world's biggest gangbang. So she's no longer working, but I. She's running, like, a shop somewhere. She's probably just doing, like, a. A clothing store.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, she's 52.

[Andrew Santino]

Bob Chong's dong.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Hey. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Younger than you. The queen of gangbang is younger than you. That's how you know you're getting older.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Rudy, what's been going on with you?

[Rudy]

I failed an exam.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. That's fantastic.

[Andrew Santino]

What? That's bad. I'm clapping. That's good.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I said that's fantastic.

[Andrew Santino]

You have to fail in order to.

[Bobby Lee]

Learn how to learn how to win.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. What did you. Which One. Wait, wait, wait. Let's guess.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, ask me some of the questions that's on the exam. Maybe I can answer them.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't even know.

[Rudy]

That's why I failed.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't know what topic it was, what the subject matter was?

[Rudy]

It's like DNA. Transcript.

[Bobby Lee]

Here we go. I'm the expert of DNA. Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Biology. You failed biology, right?

[Rudy]

Microbiology.

[Andrew Santino]

Microbiology.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, give me, like, just any question that they might have. Are you kidding me? You don't even know one question. On the exam, she said she failed. How many questions are there?

[Rudy]

There were 50 questions.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't know one?

[Rudy]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Rudy]

It's like, about transcription, like DNA replication. Can you talk us about DNA replication?

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, here you go, Bob. What's the difference between bacteria and viruses?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, they're about amoebas. I mean, one has an amoeba and one has.

[Andrew Santino]

Fail.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not done.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you're done. You're failed.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not. Can I finish?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, please.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, you know what? You're so rude.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, you know what I realized about you Tuesday when we did the live show? Dude, you're a little cocky.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm cocky?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And a little bit, like, confident and assure of yourself. People see, that's what the audience said. Remember when they said that they. People see it, right?

[Andrew Santino]

That I'm confident?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What do they. What do they say Tuesday night? Why are we bringing this up?

[Andrew Santino]

Starting a war.

[Bobby Lee]

What do they say? Tuesday night they asked Andrew if he was better than.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you arrogant or better or you think you're better?

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm getting at. You know what I mean? And I want you to lower it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't think I'm better than anybody. Except for you.

[Bobby Lee]

See, that's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

It's just you.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

I treat her very well.

[Bobby Lee]

But I wonder why the audience read that.

[Andrew Santino]

It's one woman, okay? One woman said that. And also, by the way, I know why she said that.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

There's a bad. She's nagging. It's a bad neg. Yeah, it's like a bad flirt. It's a shitty flirt.

[Bobby Lee]

So I'm sitting in the audience watching Andrew perform, and there was a pretty attractive woman next to me. And during one of your jokes, people are laughing, and she turns to me and she goes, your friend's hot. And you know what I did? I went. It was just an instinctual.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, was this A girl that you were with or just a random girl?

[Bobby Lee]

Some random girl. But I just wanted to. If I could spit out poison.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You would hear me. Blind has a rattle. Dude, I went out. Right, right. Her neck. You know what I mean? Like a scorpion right in the neck.

[Rudy]

Dude, you're very buff.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, fuck off.

[Andrew Santino]

I love you. Rude. You know what? Let me say this.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, here we go.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll say this. I love our fans more than anything. I thank them graciously. It means the world to me. People may think that I'm, like, shut down or cold, but if you know me, you know I'm not. I just have a demeanor that has so much trauma and damage that I just feel a little blank sometimes. So people don't know. I would love to say hi and smile at you, but when I walk around town, maybe I look a little, and that's because I'm a broken, shattered dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Backstage, too. I like to observe other people that aren't familiar with, you know, comics and stuff, and they get a little nervous around you.

[Andrew Santino]

Only because I'm so. I'm so kind of stupid.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I see people going, you know, I mean, it's like, what's going on?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because here's the deal, little boy. Your light.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you lost?

[Andrew Santino]

You are a bright, beautiful light. You're.

[Bobby Lee]

I come in there with joy, dude. And that's what my thing is, dude. I'm pure joy.

[Andrew Santino]

You are.

[Bobby Lee]

And my positive energy.

[Andrew Santino]

Mine is comedy from a very kind of like, a very, like, planted space.

[Bobby Lee]

Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

And you're a more. You're. You are a bright, shiny star.

[Bobby Lee]

You're like Napoleon.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I am?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You have to dig for me. I'm a gem, but you have to dig for me.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay?

[Andrew Santino]

You got to get down in there. You. You know who you are?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Your bio. What is that? Bioluminescence. You know that when the ocean glows at night.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's you.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And it's a compliment. I'm just saying I'm a gem as well. I just. I'm different. You have to dig for me a little bit. That's what makes us so wonderful.

[Bobby Lee]

I have another philosophical question for you, though. What if. What if we don't have a shovel? And that's the real question. Wow. Yeah. What if we don't have a shovel?

[Andrew Santino]

You have to use your hands. You have to get creative. No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Why don't you open up your own hole?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not, like, open up your own. I don't like opening up my hole.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't have to dig.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not like you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want to open my hole to everybody.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, you don't have the time to dig, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you know what happens to the people that open their hole all the time to everybody? They end up in huge gang bangs.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's right.

[Andrew Santino]

And then they're immortalized forever as the gang bang queen. So guess what?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

From now on, you, my friend, queen. You're queen bee, my friend. You're the queen bee of this show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, friendo.

[Andrew Santino]

You're the queen bee.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm the dirty gem, and you're the queen bee.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I'll be the queen bee, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

That's fine. You are. Because you get by thousands of people and you get tired of it. I know. You turn to me sometimes after you've opened your hole too much, and you say to me, I don't want to do it anymore. And I say, give the people what they want. And you do. I love the way you reversed it, by the way. We had so many people at the live show that came and asked to see your butthole and. Or your penis. But what bothers me is these guys. It's always these brazen men. Show me your butthole and your penis. And then I say, will you show Bobby your butthole and your penis?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a fair exchange.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

And they get so creeped out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

As if. That's crazy to go. You asked for his butthole. Show him your butthole. Fair is fair. Am I wrong?

[Bobby Lee]

Fair. It's so fair.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't like it. That guy got weird about it. He was like, that's fucking weird.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, no, because I think you said. And let him suck it or something. You said something like that.

[Andrew Santino]

I said, let him kiss it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I said, let him kiss it.

[Bobby Lee]

So I think. I think that was the part that he was like, oh, no. I don't know, man.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you. Well, dude. Yeah, party. Party with us. Or don't. Yeah, I felt a little. I will say I had a moment of true vulnerability that I played. Played off for comedy when you kissed that guy in the front row.

[Bobby Lee]

That was fun.

[Andrew Santino]

And then he said something else. You said something else about kiss him. And I said, no, now I get to kiss your wife or your girl.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Making a joke.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

She was into it.

[Bobby Lee]

Why didn't you do it?

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Thank you. I don't want to Kiss this guy's wife.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But she was like, yes. And he was like, yeah, she can. I was like, no, no, no, I don't. That was a joke.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I.

[Andrew Santino]

And they said, yes and no. She said, no, no, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And then. So then I try to kiss the guy again, and he goes, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

He didn't want it more than once.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, whoa, he's a true.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we do have. Look, I'm cool. If we've got some cuck, I'm down for cookery. It's what Rudy really wants to have happen in her relationship.

[Bobby Lee]

Back in the day when they used to have black and white, she wants.

[Andrew Santino]

A cuck king, don't you? Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Black and white fountains. Remember back in the day, you know, it was a white fountain. You couldn't drink out of it.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? Oh, you mean the separation 60s?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, segregation. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. I mean, the colored one is better.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, now the white one, you put your penis in the middle of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, but imagine.

[Andrew Santino]

That's disgusting.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so disgusting.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a part of our fucking history. History, dude, they wouldn't share water.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

With black people. That's how fucking stupid it is. That's crazy. Shit.

[Bobby Lee]

Or when they couldn't even like, sit at, like, a. At the restaurant, like a, like, diner table.

[Andrew Santino]

They had their own section that they.

[Bobby Lee]

Wouldn'T even go to go in.

[Andrew Santino]

Certain ones, yeah. Of course.

[Bobby Lee]

Like some of the, you know, the jazz documentaries.

[Andrew Santino]

We're not going back. Please don't go back.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me give you. I have some historical context, all right?

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. Some of these jazz bands, right, would go into a town, play a hotel, but they couldn't stay there.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? I know, right?

[Bobby Lee]

So, you know what?

[Andrew Santino]

Green Book.

[Bobby Lee]

Did I say this already where. What? Did I say this already where? What would happen is, you know, Count Bassi or whatever would go with his band, right? They couldn't stay there, but their wives would go into the black neighborhood while they're on stage and ask the residents, the bands in town, can they stay? So then they would coordinate, like, yeah, yeah. Little Slim, you know what I mean? And Jackie Eyes can sleep here. You know what I mean? Frankie the Midget and Trombone Tony can sleep here. You know, me and they. They would all, you know. Trombon Tony, I love him so good.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got little toes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Little Toes Tom, Trombone Tony.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And Squeaky Peak. Squeaky Peak and, you know, whatever. And then, then, then after the show, the wives would come back and go, we got you a place to stay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that was a reality.

[Bobby Lee]

It would sell out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's a Green Book. The whole movie was about that. Not being able to perform in certain places.

[Bobby Lee]

Mile or Green Book?

[Andrew Santino]

Green Mile was a totally different movie. Green Book. Green Book won an Academy Academy Award with. Academy Academy Award. It wasn't a full size one. What's it. What's his name? Mike Viggo. I mean, Viggo Morgenson and. And Mahershala Ali. Do you not. You never saw that movie? Oh, my God. You're in the. In your jazz. In your. In your jazz era. He toured the country and Viggo Mortensen was his driver of a black.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no, I haven't seen it.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know it, though? Really? I don't know. You're a movie guy. It won an Academy Award.

[Bobby Lee]

So many movies, though, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, this won an Academy Award.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really? You saw every Academy Award movie?

[Andrew Santino]

I think I've seen every movie that's won an Academy Award, people. Yes. Seen it. Name one. There's no Academy Award movie I've never seen.

[Bobby Lee]

Kramer versus Kramer.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, dude, I've seen Kramer versus Fucking.

[Bobby Lee]

What's it about?

[Andrew Santino]

Kramer saying the N word at the laugh.

[Bobby Lee]

What's it. What's it about? What is Kramer vs Kramer about?

[Andrew Santino]

It's a. It's a court case film.

[Bobby Lee]

About what?

[Andrew Santino]

About Kramer versus Kramer.

[Bobby Lee]

But what is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Kramer, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

You never saw it?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I never saw.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a divorce.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. No, I did. I have.

[Bobby Lee]

About a divorce. Yeah. Justin Hoffman was in it.

[Andrew Santino]

I have seen it.

[Bobby Lee]

Did Kramer versus Kramer get anything? I don't know. I was just making that up.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but Oppenheimer. Yes. Everything. Yes. Coda. No, actually, Coda is the first one I haven't seen on that.

[Bobby Lee]

I haven't seen Coda.

[Andrew Santino]

Green Book, Parasite, Shape of Water, Moonlight, Birdman, Spotlight, Argo. I've seen all these 12 years of slave, Hurt Locker, Art.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me know. King Speech. Never saw it.

[Andrew Santino]

I did see the.

[Bobby Lee]

I never saw it.

[Andrew Santino]

No. That was good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No Country Departed. All these. I've seen all these.

[Bobby Lee]

So I watched no country for Old Men again. That scene in the gas station with that old man is probably the most. It's.

[Andrew Santino]

He gives me the creeps in a way that no one can do.

[Bobby Lee]

Call it friendo. Yeah, friendo. But it's also just that the performance of the man, that was, you know, I Mean, the guy was so good. If you really look at it.

[Andrew Santino]

He's the actor.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, he's a character actor. I don't know who he is, but, like, it just. It's just so good. And his response. Dude, have you seen this movie? No. That character right there is insane.

[Andrew Santino]

Go back real fast. I did. There's one more that I know you and I definitely have never seen in Chicago. We've. I've never.

[Bobby Lee]

Never saw Chicago. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Never seen the Play or the English Patient. Fantastic. Forest Gump. Very good.

[Bobby Lee]

Great movie.

[Andrew Santino]

So what's the. What's the repercussions of you failing your microbiology exam?

[Rudy]

Well, I have three more exams to go, and I have right now, like a B minus.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you're fine, dude. A B minus? Yeah, I graduated high school with a C minus.

[Rudy]

You can. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not good.

[Rudy]

Good even having a D. I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I was last in my class.

[Andrew Santino]

We know. And you're first in our hearts.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, so nothing you're learning you're going to use in your life anyway, so it's.

[Andrew Santino]

I wouldn't say that's totally.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you biology? You're not gonna be a biologist?

[Rudy]

Well, I'm taking fish classes.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, she wants.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Marine biologist, perhaps?

[Rudy]

Maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. If you said you wanted to work in the water, you definitely need to know that stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you just do animals. Just be a vet or whatever.

[Andrew Santino]

You would probably need to pass biology to be a vet. Do you do 100%? Yeah. That's a big deal.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, you need to know about amoebas.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

I didn't even know there was 175 countries, but guess what? Shopify's got it and they shipped stuff everywhere. Plus, Shopify's extensive help resources are there to support you and your success every step of the way. Because businesses that grow like ours grow with Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.combadfriends all lowercase go.

[Andrew Santino]

To shopify.combad friends now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com Bad friends PDS debt no one.

[Bobby Lee]

Wants to think about debt. But the cold hard truth of it is many of us will get deeper in debt during the holidays.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right man. Last year half of American consumers took on debt to pay for the holidays. This year it could be you, could be me.

[Bobby Lee]

Could be me, could be you, and could be me.

[Andrew Santino]

You never know. It's not too early to start planning to get out. And our friends at PDS Debt can help with a personalized solution just for you. Look, I've been in debt before. I know you've been in debt before. When I first moved to Southern California, it was not so good on my credit to card. And for someone like PDS Debt, they can help you. If you're making payments every month on your debt and your balances are not going down, they're just stabilizing. PDS has solutions for you.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Start planning today. Get a free debt analysis right now@pds debt.com Bad Friends it only takes 30 seconds.

[Andrew Santino]

That's P D S D E B T.com Bad Friends PDS debt.com Bad Friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Manscape the Chairman Pro Whoa. Hey everyone. With the holidays creeping up faster than your aunt's fruitcake recipe, I've got something way better to share with you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. If you want to look sharp for those festive gatherings and maybe finally win that best groomed at the family dinner award, check out Manscape's latest masterpiece, the Chairman Chairman Pro package. Trust me, it's like Rudolph for your face, guiding you to a smooth irritation.

[Bobby Lee]

Free Shave head over to manscape.com and join the over 11 million men worldwide who trust trust Manscaped by using code bad friends for 20 off plus free shipping.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's get right into it. We've been using Manscaped both of us for a long time. I use it all over my body to trim down my all the way up to my thought Che. All right. The Chairman Pro is armed with not one but Two interchangeable skin safe blade heads. You ain't gonna cut nothing on your face but the hair.

[Bobby Lee]

Both keeping you looking sharp while minimizing razor burn and irritation. Because nobody wants to show up to the holiday party looking like they lost a fight with a Christmas tree.

[Andrew Santino]

This is my favorite part. The Chairman Pro is waterproof. Means you could use it in the shower. I love using it in the shower. Simplifies cleanup too. Quick rinse out of the sink and you are all set to go. So what are you waiting for? It's packed with skin, soothing, beautiful interchangeable blades. What are you waiting for?

[Bobby Lee]

Get the Chairman Pro package today and experience a shave that is as smooth as you deserve.

[Andrew Santino]

Get 20% off and free shipping with the code bad [e-mail] that's 20% off plus free shipping with the code bad [e-mail].

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. So I wonder what you would need.

[Andrew Santino]

To know, I mean, to be a vet and vet.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, do you. I'm sorry, I'm dumb, but I'm dumb. Do you spend like doctor, eight years in medical school to be a vet?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I don't know if it's a full eight. I think it's six, though. Yeah, I think it's six, which is a long time. Four year. Okay. So it's. Oh, it is said eight years in total typically takes about eight. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

And then do you make a lot of money?

[Andrew Santino]

I think vets make good money.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I can tell you how much my.

[Bobby Lee]

That's true.

[Andrew Santino]

The scan cost when I went to the vet for the emergency vet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did I tell you this when my dog was puking and blood?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

The average salary for a vet in California is 171.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. That's a pretty good thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty good. That's very good.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I took my dog to the vet and we don't have pet insurance, and it was an emergency because she was throwing up blood and she drink blood and I pan. I had the worst panic. Man, I was so scared, so sad. Then we go there and they take all these X rays and stuff and they're like, you know, this is not covered. And I said, we don't even have insurance. She goes, okay, I just want to let you know. Comes back with the bill and it's $1,500. Also on top of that, she goes, some of the staff is a big fan. Can we take pictures of you?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I was like, my dog. Just blood.

[Bobby Lee]

At least a discount. No discount.

[Andrew Santino]

No shit, no. No discount. No picture discount.

[Bobby Lee]

Nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

I was happily taking pictures. Like, my dog pooping blood. And I'm taking photos.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I did the right thing. But I was also like, that's a little weird to ask me to take photos first thing in the morning when my dog is shedding blood and I'm a little worried and you're like, can we get a picture for the student for the office? I was like, sure. Is the blood thing taken care of? She's still shedding fucking blood. Yeah, it was a little weird.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what my thing is, is whenever I'm in a pet food store, I hate it when there's always old white ladies. They come in and they go, what's the cheapest cat food you got? Dry. Right. And I'm always like, you know, I mean, I'm always like, that's your family member.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's the love of your life.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, here's the deal. It's an economic thing for some people, right? So some people can't range what Some people can't afford to level up. It's hard.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but it's just like the cheapest. You don't walk in the cheapest.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, think about. Let's genuinely. Let's do this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The. In the scope of America, most people have to buy the cheapest gas, the cheapest groceries.

[Bobby Lee]

Being arrogant a little bit.

[Andrew Santino]

No, not arrogant, but you're being.

[Bobby Lee]

Am I being.

[Andrew Santino]

I think you're forgetting out of touch.

[Bobby Lee]

With reality here a little bit. Dog nice shit too. Like, I think.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but you live foolishly.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, they're not. The gap between cheapest and average isn't that much. I agree with a dollar or two.

[Andrew Santino]

I agree with you. I agree. But I'm saying most Americans have to buy the cheapest gas, the cheapest food, the cheapest everything to get through the. Their lives. Yeah, but it's just like, we're blessed that we. That you don't have.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, dude. Because even when I. In my early 20s, I had two cats and I went to the pet food store and I got like, I had no money and I still went like, I'm not gonna get the cheapest one.

[Andrew Santino]

I know you're talking.

[Bobby Lee]

I want them to, you know, I mean, at least survive.

[Andrew Santino]

I agree. But I think most people don't. Can't. I think that's the bummer.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, they care.

[Andrew Santino]

I think some people don't care. I think most people with pets give a fuck about their pets. They love their pets. That's why there's like A. What's that place called? That's near my old house. Just dog. Just for dogs. Just food for dogs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That shit's so expensive. I walked in there one time and I was like, this is fucking rude.

[Bobby Lee]

It was like a. I Love it there.

[Andrew Santino]

2 pound bag of food for like 80 bucks. I was like, what the fuck are you. They're like, we hand cut up filet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they do.

[Andrew Santino]

That's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's not crazy. And let me say something.

[Rudy]

Bobby pays for the dogs.

[Andrew Santino]

You do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so much money.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it's my dogs, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, dude, but that's like an. That's an inflation.

[Bobby Lee]

If I go to. That's the lvd, right? Or you know, I mean. Or Maestros, right? I'm going to get my dog. Dude. I got you. Don't go, no boo for my cats.

[Andrew Santino]

That's fucking insane, right?

[Bobby Lee]

And they didn't like it. So I'm like, oh, I guess this isn't going to be a thing.

[Andrew Santino]

You got the fanciest sushi in LA.

[Bobby Lee]

For your cat up the. The salmon too, and all that stuff. Like really thin Lego. Maybe that'll work. I put gravy on it. They don't like it.

[Andrew Santino]

Crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's not crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, it's crazy. It's funny, but it's.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I guess it's, you know, here's. And I'm going to cause a little controversy out here. I might as well put my foot down. Okay. And maybe some people. And I was going to say white people, but I'm not going to say that. I don't want to generalize. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

No, go ahead and do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. They view their animals as, you know, a lower family member.

[Andrew Santino]

Not true. Yeah, don't generalize whites because I don't do that and he doesn't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, but it's like, don't do that to whites.

[Andrew Santino]

Just people. How about this then? You want to take it there?

[Bobby Lee]

That's why I brought it up, dude. Let's take it there.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's take it there.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's take it there.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's generalize Asians. Asians.

[Bobby Lee]

You're going to do cat. We eat them.

[Andrew Santino]

Timeout.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't go eat. We don't eat them.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't eat them.

[Andrew Santino]

Then don't generalize all whites.

[Bobby Lee]

Not in this America. Maybe in some fucking remote village in Taipei.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you're talking about a global population here, buddy. Do Asians eat animal slaves?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you're going to do this again? With the fucking slave. The Korean slave thing.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Do Asians.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what you're trying to do. Get a moment.

[Andrew Santino]

Rudy, do people still eat dogs in the Philippines?

[Bobby Lee]

We talked about this before, like rural.

[Andrew Santino]

Rural.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

And yet it happens.

[Bobby Lee]

But we're still in that three year.

[Andrew Santino]

Grace period where it's legal to eat in South Korea. They still haven't passed that bill.

[Bobby Lee]

But we did pass it.

[Andrew Santino]

Congratul. 20, 24.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

In three.

[Bobby Lee]

What about. Hey, buddy, I'll, I'll, I'll double down on you then.

[Andrew Santino]

Give it to me.

[Bobby Lee]

What about squirrels? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So many. Some white teachers.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But snakes and how about this? Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Then you get.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you even attempted to pass this law? Did not eat squirrels. Those cute little critters from.

[Andrew Santino]

They're delicious friends. They're delicious. You've never had one.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you eat a squirrel?

[Rudy]

I think I would.

[Andrew Santino]

100%. They're so good.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at them right there.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that a filet?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God, look at them.

[Andrew Santino]

It's all dark meat.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

So good. So good.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Look at that. What I'm saying is, is that I don't know why you went from me, you know, spending a little bit more money for my cats to us eating dogs.

[Andrew Santino]

You did it.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know how. Went from one there to there.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, you can't generalize and say all whites.

[Bobby Lee]

I took it back already.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you. I'll take mine back too then. Yeah, but Asians still eat dogs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And you guys eat squirrels.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Thank you. Okay, but, but, but I know there's no people that have pets as squirrels.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, there are. Who has a squirrel dodo?

[Andrew Santino]

Go to dodo.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Where's that YouTube. And he has a squirrel dodo.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a lot of squirrel friends that the people have in, in their home. In their home.

[Andrew Santino]

No, they keep them outside. No, they don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Every day in the home. There we go. That's a guy chilling on a kitchen table then. Look at that guy. Look at that dude. Look how fatty is too.

[Andrew Santino]

That looks like lunch to me.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. What do they feed them, like fancy nuts?

[Andrew Santino]

They might. Yeah, but like Erewhon nuts.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but there's, there's a difference between like, you know, airplane nuts. Right. And going to like a, you know, going to Erewhon or something and getting like organic nuts unsalted. You know what I mean? Right. I guess that's what I would do.

[Andrew Santino]

I would assume they golfing come from the Same farm. And some of them are just packaged for erewhon.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, Okay. I don't know how they're packaged. I don't know what the farm.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you know what? That's it then. We need to do bad friends visits. A farm. We need to go visit a farm.

[Bobby Lee]

My point though, being is, boom, there's another one chilling, watching, you know, reality TV on a couch. Dude, probably, you know, 90 Day Fiance. Look at the. Look at them chilling.

[Andrew Santino]

He's watching Love is Blind.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Love is Blind chilling there.

[Andrew Santino]

He's so fat.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. They're so cute.

[Andrew Santino]

They are so cute. I know. No, look. Okay, let's get back to the original. I value my pet. The first thing, the first person I kiss in my home when I walk.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. I know you do, because I know that you spent fifteen hundred dollars. But there's a lot of people that were like, at the vet, like, what? How much it gonna cost?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, people. Some people can't afford it. I'm lucky that I could afford it. You know, I'm lucky. I'm lucky. I'm lucky that I'm able to do that. Carlos's dog goes to the vet and it cost him two grand or something like that. He's in some shit. He's calling us.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you pay it?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, of course he would.

[Bobby Lee]

There we go.

[Andrew Santino]

But he's scared.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying the feeling behind it. Yeah, it's going to be a hit and it's going to be a bummer. But I'm just saying it's like.

[Andrew Santino]

But you're right.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it depends on what the. Like, it's okay. Here's. Here's. Here's one. All right. When you guys. When you guys.

[Rudy]

The grapes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the grapes. I got a call like, oh, yeah, all the dogs are in the vet. Right. And you got to help with the money. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Because they all ate grapes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I go, they ate fucking grapes. Like Roman emperors. What the fuck are you talking about? Right? They're like. And they. And then nothing happened. But, you guys, we had to spend thousands of dollars for what? Yeah, exactly. So what was that all about?

[Rudy]

The vet said that they were gonna die.

[Bobby Lee]

But why are you bringing the fucking dogs to the fucking vet? It's the first place called First.

[Rudy]

And they said, yeah, take them.

[Bobby Lee]

You did one grape?

[Andrew Santino]

No, it was three.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Amongst four dogs, they ate three grapes. And I get this call like, it's gonna cost all this money. I was like, what the is going on here? So in that case, yes. I'd be like, our grapes. We'll figure it out.

[Andrew Santino]

We'll figure it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute.

[Bobby Lee]

A bar of chocolate, I would be like, oh, let's just see. Take it about hour by hour.

[Andrew Santino]

Can dogs not eat grapes? I do not.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think it was great. What was it?

[Rudy]

Grapes.

[Andrew Santino]

The number of grapes can be lethal to a dog. Depends on the dog's weight. But the general rule of thumb is that one grape per 10 pounds of body weight is potentially dangerous. Why? Grapes and raisins cause acute kidney failure in dogs. What? I mean, my dog doesn't eat grapes.

[Bobby Lee]

Now you know.

[Andrew Santino]

That's crazy. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Now you know.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm glad I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. And also, why you have just free grapes laying around the ground?

[Rudy]

Because we were taking care of a crow, so we were feeding him grapes.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's right, the crow.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course.

[Bobby Lee]

You know how many. You know what they did for me?

[Andrew Santino]

I hope they got you a crow.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Oh, my God. I feel so bad about that. I haven't talked about this. About the little bird. I'm in the backyard with Gunar.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I know.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you don't. And I look and there's a bird, A baby bird had fallen from the tree, right? And I look at Gunar, and Gunnar's just. You know what I mean? And I'm like, he's not gonna.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And it goes up and just breaks. Breaks its neck with his fucking jaw, right? And then I fucking grab. Gonna bring in the house. And now the. You know, I mean, it's like the little birds going. It was insane, dude. Right? It was making these, right? And I'm. I call them. They come over. And then I go, you gotta keep this bird alive. Now I go, right? Yeah, please.

[Andrew Santino]

His head is off.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. It was just like, you know. You know. And they came over. It died, right?

[Rudy]

It died. Three days after.

[Andrew Santino]

Three days is pretty good, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I tried everything. I tried everything. But we love. We love our friends in the sky. That's what my point. But you can love the friends.

[Andrew Santino]

You should have taken them out. Three days of suffering.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You could have thrown them off the hill.

[Andrew Santino]

You drown them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You drown.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

You drown him.

[Bobby Lee]

Excuse me.

[Andrew Santino]

You drown him. You take that bird, you go to your pool, you drown, dog.

[Bobby Lee]

What? I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm kidding. That's.

[Bobby Lee]

You would do that?

[Andrew Santino]

No, but my dog.

[Bobby Lee]

That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

My dog has. My dog has come back with. With different rodents, things or whatever. And I do. But you. You got it. You got to get rid of it. Because it's suffering. It's crazy. It's awful. When dogs do this, it's a bummer. But when they Living just those three days of the bird is like, fucking kill me.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. I don't. I don't know birds. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

I got.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a few by Newport. What?

[Andrew Santino]

I do. I mean, I went to college with four or five of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. But I still talk to one. If there was like a chance that he. It was just like, you know, a spray neck or whatever. Right. That's why I called. Because the worst would be like, I'll just leave it there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then day three, I go back there and he's still. You know, I mean, that would have been bad.

[Andrew Santino]

That's true.

[Bobby Lee]

He was paralyzed after that. You guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Little bird wheelchair.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Little bird wheelchair.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, it's so funny. Andreas, you're trying to make fun of me. Like, I have empathy. I have empathy for the little creatures in the world. You know what movie makes me really sad? What Part in Raising Arizona. When.

[Andrew Santino]

One of my favorite movies of all time.

[Bobby Lee]

Me, too. And when that. You know the. The bad biker.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And he shoots that lizard. I don't know why. Even as a young man, I went.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you know what else it is? That actor. Yeah, that guy. He's so good. And you believe how he's so mean in his heart. And the music is so powerful.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

God, that movie was.

[Bobby Lee]

If you haven't seen that movie, couldn't recommend it more. It's. What it's.

[Andrew Santino]

Because it's Coen Brothers finest.

[Bobby Lee]

It does two things. Okay. In the same year they did this. There's two movies that are my favorite movies is this. And also Evil Dead 2. Those two movies are just masterpieces.

[Andrew Santino]

But 89, 88.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. This movie is so fucking good.

[Andrew Santino]

And the beauty, her name is Ed is one of the funniest things on earth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He falls in love with a woman.

[Bobby Lee]

Holly Hunter kills that movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Because Ed is such a beautiful, like, guy. Guy's name.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at Nicholas K. So young.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know the concept of this movie? They can't have a child, and so they decide they're going to steal someone's baby who's an embarrassment of riches.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's great.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a comedy, though. Especially when Nicholas, when Nicholas Cage goes up with the ladder into the baby's room.

[Andrew Santino]

And Nathan Arizona's House?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Nathan Arizona's house. And there's that five minute montage of him trying to handle the babies. Is so cleverly done. So cute. It's so good.

[Andrew Santino]

It's such a good scene.

[Bobby Lee]

There's another scene where he runs into his bedroom, right? Because he has to. Dude, I forget what he has to do. And he sees a Playboy magazine on his bed and he puts it underneath the thing and he walks away. And then he comes back and looks at the Playboy and then puts it back in there because he needs one more look. It's like those little things that makes that movie so special. That's such a great movie.

[Andrew Santino]

You got to watch that. Okay, but you should be studying for your test before you watch another movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So can we get you through school first? Yeah, yeah, please. Because I don't want you to fail after all the work you put in. When you think about it, she started the show as a senior in high school.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't believe it.

[Andrew Santino]

And now you're graduating college.

[Bobby Lee]

That's so incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

It's. It really makes me sad.

[Bobby Lee]

It makes me sad because we're closer to death.

[Andrew Santino]

That's all that you and I are doing.

[Bobby Lee]

You really think of that?

[Andrew Santino]

We're crawling towards death. There's death. Hey, we're on our way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And she's about to just grow into a fun adult life of fun and freedom and.

[Bobby Lee]

But you know who my fucking guy is I look at to make me feel more like he's like, sort of like if he dies, I'm fucked. Because he's a little ahead of me.

[Andrew Santino]

In the comedy scene.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, he's a little ahead of me. I see him all the time.

[Andrew Santino]

Marin.

[Bobby Lee]

No. And I look at him. No, it's like no.

[Andrew Santino]

Smaller, Smaller, tinier person than Marin.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Brad Williams.

[Bobby Lee]

No, in between. Think in between.

[Andrew Santino]

Cold gold.

[Bobby Lee]

Also, I'm older than Brad. It's a guy that's older than me.

[Andrew Santino]

And I go, oh, no, you're not.

[Bobby Lee]

I am.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Little people are a thousand years old. He's been living forever. He's lived seven lifetimes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. We have no idea how old they're. You have to cut them in half and count their rings.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, yesterday I. I saw Brad and I said a couple of things. Some dwarf jokes in the green room. And I don't think it went over well in the room.

[Andrew Santino]

He's our boy.

[Bobby Lee]

I go. I just walked into the restaurant. How's the carnival? I don't know why I said that. And then I. So for some reason, everyone was in there, I go, oh, they love candy corn. I don't even know if that's a fact.

[Andrew Santino]

They do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But my point is, I always keep a pop.

[Bobby Lee]

It's David Spade.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Spade.

[Bobby Lee]

So when I see Spade because he's like five years older than me and he looks good.

[Andrew Santino]

He does.

[Bobby Lee]

So I just go, oh, he looks good. So I'm going to worry when he doesn't look good.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, here's the problem. This isn't apples to apples. Do you know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Don't do this.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like this is zucchini to pair.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't do this. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

No, because don't do this.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, he's. He takes care of himself a little. He worked. He exercises.

[Bobby Lee]

I went hiking yesterday for so long.

[Andrew Santino]

No way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So long.

[Andrew Santino]

With whom?

[Bobby Lee]

By myself. In the dark.

[Andrew Santino]

Where in the dark?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the one by our house. No proof. And this time, you know where I go?

[Andrew Santino]

No proof.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a marker that I have. You know, there's the first bench on that.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Now we go double that.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I ask you something?

[Bobby Lee]

It's so scary.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I recommend something as a friend? Please don't hike in the dark. If you fall or slip or something bad happens, who the fuck is gonna get you?

[Bobby Lee]

That's the. That's the thing I want.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you want to go? Yeah, I'd rather you not.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you. The only thing that I'm worried about is bobcats. Yeah, dude, you know, I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, people or. Yeah, what about weirdos? What about some guy that's waiting to fucking kill you?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, please, please don't hike at night.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? There's other. There's people, families at night. Oh, I see them with the flashlights.

[Andrew Santino]

I've seen Alpha Dog. I know what happens when you hike at night. You end up in a pit.

[Bobby Lee]

Great movie. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Please don't hike at night.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm concerned for your well being, but do you want to hike during the day with me? I would love to go hiking.

[Bobby Lee]

I'd love to.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a hiking hill right by our houses.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the one I went to last night.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, let me. Let's go.

[Bobby Lee]

I kind of want to do it solo because. I'll tell you why. Can I tell you why? Can I tell you why, though? Can I tell you why?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

It's Pace. Oh, you know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

I understand.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I put my hands behind my back like an old Korean man. I do that and I kind of mosey up there with Music Shuffle would be the word. I shuffle up with music.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I go as long as I can and I come back down.

[Andrew Santino]

I appreciate that. I respect that. I would love to hike with you, but I totally understand that. That's fine by Optimizers. Hey, do you like free stuff? Well, you're in luck, because Buy Optimizers, Black Friday deal starts now and they're giving away free gifts with purchase. That's right. We have an exclusive advance invite to Bioptimizer's Black Friday deal for the entire month of November. This is their best sale of the entire year. If you're feeling stressed out, you haven't been sleeping well lately. Like me, you're not alone. I don't get good sleep at night. You might not be able to change all the chaos out there, but you can start supplementing with one key nutrient to improve your sleep quality as well as over 600 other biochemical reactions in your body. Magnesium Breakthrough is the only product I've found that has the magnesium forms in one convenient bottle. You open less bottles, spend less money, and still get the top seven forms of magnesium for better sleep, manage stress, balance hormones, improve mood, feel refreshed, all in one bottle. When you get all seven critical forms of magnesium, pretty much every function in your body gets upgraded. Right now, for the entire month of November, Bioptimizers, the makers of Magnesium Breakthrough, are having a Black Friday blowout sale on their products all month long. You're going to get discounts with our unique code, plus access up to $100 in free gifts with purchase. This is the best time to stock up and take advantage of all the free extras you're going to get. You can only get this exclusive deal through our link special for our audience. You will not find this on Amazon or even the company website. Go to buyoptimizers.com badfriends use that code Bad Friends to get your discount and free gifts today. And one last thing you should know. All BioPhimizer supplements are best in class. If for some reason you feel differently, you can get a full refund up to one year after your purchase, no questions asked. And again, the link right now for the exclusive deal is buy optimizers.com badfriends with code bad Friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Alex, do you like canned cranberry sauce.

[Andrew Santino]

Or should we make it ourselves?

[Rudy]

That's my mom.

[Bobby Lee]

She didn't know about Instacart's family carts. So, wanna make pecan pie this year?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes or no?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, and how many boxes of stuffing?

[Andrew Santino]

So I told her we could just share a family card and add all our holiday favorites to the same order.

[Bobby Lee]

Without losing our voices or our sanity. It's so much fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Alex, can you get my holiday village out of the attic?

[Bobby Lee]

Baby steps, Alex.

[Andrew Santino]

Baby steps. Shop instacart this holiday season and enjoy.

[Bobby Lee]

Free delivery on your first three orders.

[Andrew Santino]

Service fees and terms apply.

[Bobby Lee]

Alex.

[Andrew Santino]

Seriously, Diane, was Colgate your secret to winning Best smile back in high school?

[Rudy]

Yep, and it still is.

[Bobby Lee]

I even work overnight. Huh? Colgate's Optic White Overnight Whitening pen works overnight so after one week, I can show up confident and reunion ready.

[Andrew Santino]

And here I was bragging about my kids.

[Bobby Lee]

Colgate Optic White. Find it at all major retailers. You know what? There's an old saying, and it's from a sitcom. There's an old saying. It's from a sitcom. It's called Different Strokes. You know, I mean, what you talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

Willis.

[Bobby Lee]

Willis, right. What you talk about Willis, right?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I want to say to you. Dude, that was the wrong sitcom line.

[Andrew Santino]

It really was. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Honestly, I was trying to. Yeah, you know what?

[Andrew Santino]

I got it, Bob. I got you. There is an old sitcom line that you should. That. That speaks exactly to you about what we're talking about.

[Bobby Lee]

Dynamite.

[Andrew Santino]

No, definitely not.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not it.

[Andrew Santino]

No. There is an old one that I got to tell you. Perfect for this. To fucking teach you about this world.

[Bobby Lee]

Give it to her, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Did I do that Perfect?

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, what. What sitcom is that?

[Andrew Santino]

Family Matters. That's fucking. That's. That's.

[Bobby Lee]

That's one of his catchphrases.

[Andrew Santino]

Did I do that?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know if that is.

[Andrew Santino]

What, are you insane?

[Bobby Lee]

Do that?

[Andrew Santino]

Did I do that?

[Bobby Lee]

What, you've heard of that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Where did you grow up? You don't know? Did I do.

[Bobby Lee]

I never saw that one.

[Andrew Santino]

Steve Urkel.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Do you and I know that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Even the Spaniard knows.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't have to Google.

[Andrew Santino]

I believe you, but you made me think that I'm wrong. Did I do that? Did I do that?

[Bobby Lee]

I've met him a couple times.

[Andrew Santino]

Jaleel White.

[Bobby Lee]

I like him a lot. Yeah, he's a sweet kid.

[Andrew Santino]

I've heard. He's great.

[Bobby Lee]

He's a nice guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I do that? Yeah. He would break something.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I see. I remember.

[Andrew Santino]

Fantastic.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There he is. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, this is a character that I'm sure in this day and age, they would be like, it just feels like we're targeting a type of person. Right. If you wrote that Character on a TV show. They'd be like, I don't know if we can do that.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no way.

[Andrew Santino]

Isn't that wild?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You know, you used to call me at three in the morning randomly back in the day when I lived on Beechwood, before I met Kalila. Three in the morning? No, it's a sitcom guy. You're not gonna believe it.

[Andrew Santino]

Hold on, hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

And he always asks me, eman, I'm in town. What you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sleeping, by the sound of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Amy Ann, hey, it's me, Leah. Yeah, hold on. Hey. Yeah, let me do it together. Yeah. Too mad about Gary. Gary Coleman. He passed away. I'm the only one left.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it's got to be a small black guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got it, bud. Go toward the light.

[Andrew Santino]

Emmanuel Lewis. Yes. Got it.

[Bobby Lee]

Webster.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Webster. I could.

[Bobby Lee]

This dude, it's so funny.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw him, he used to call.

[Bobby Lee]

You at three in the morning. Hey, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, hey, it's me.

[Bobby Lee]

What you doing? It's like he would go, yeah, he'd go, meet me at. Meet me at fred62s.

[Andrew Santino]

I love that cafe.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I'd be like, no, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Why not?

[Bobby Lee]

Never hung out with a. Once.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, I read this thing. This was insane. It's supposed to. It really does. Dude, you should try this. This is a trick.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, I know, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, this is a trick I'm trying to do. Is. Is this when you wake up in the morning, instead of brushing your teeth with your right hand, do it with your left. And then when you get in the shower, instead of doing your normal shower routine, like, what's the first thing you wash in the shower?

[Bobby Lee]

My back.

[Andrew Santino]

Right, so instead of doing your back, do your feet first and then do your fit and, like, switch up the order.

[Bobby Lee]

Why are you laughing? At back.

[Rudy]

That's just weird.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not.

[Andrew Santino]

You're weird. What do you do?

[Rudy]

Go head first?

[Andrew Santino]

No, everybody does it different.

[Bobby Lee]

Head is last. No, heads last.

[Andrew Santino]

I actually agree. I do. I think I do head and face last.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, no, here's my order.

[Andrew Santino]

I do my butthole.

[Bobby Lee]

20 minutes. I'll literally tell you my order. Okay, so I'll take. You know, we've already established that that plastic thing has a cloth. We already. We already established that on this podcast.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. So I do. I pull that out, right? I put two different. A body.

[Andrew Santino]

Body wash. Wash on it, right?

[Bobby Lee]

From two different brands. One of them probably a like, you know, something that. That's Like a ax, some bat one. But then I'll put an organic, like, fancy one.

[Andrew Santino]

So you'll feed your dogs high end food, but you're using ax on your body?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I put ax and. But I put. Then I put a high end one that I got at a boutique place.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So I'll combo it up upstairs, downstairs. Yeah. Then I put it in a sud. Then I do that. I do it back first. Back, back, arms, arms, chest. Right. Then in between the sacks. Scrub hard.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean, sacks? This is singular. You have more than one?

[Bobby Lee]

What, the sack either. Oh, I have two sacks. Right. Legs. And then what I do is rinse.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then I do face with my face wash.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

And then I do hair. And then I'm done.

[Andrew Santino]

I get that.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you do?

[Andrew Santino]

I first get in there and I lube up the loofah. I've got my nice little loofah.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you get your back with a loofah? What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

It's got a. It's on a stick. Oh, you don't have a loofah stick? No, it's fantastic. It's actually my favorite because after you're done loofing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You can flip the stick around and foot it right up your ass.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. You don't do that. You don't do a little rabbit with.

[Bobby Lee]

A loofah stick, though. Because I got one on the road. You can't get the real, like. With the fucking one I have, you can really grind out your back.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't need to rub it deep into the back. I don't know if I need to.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I get a massage for that.

[Bobby Lee]

It's just like deep skin. It has something to do with muscles, but how.

[Andrew Santino]

This skin is never exposed to almost anything on your back. You don't really need to exfoliate your back.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's true. That's true.

[Andrew Santino]

What's exposed? So I do the loofah. I loofah.

[Bobby Lee]

I do sand angels on the.

[Andrew Santino]

On the beach. I loofah, I lose. I get the loofah ready? And I do chest, neck, and back first.

[Bobby Lee]

Great, great combo.

[Andrew Santino]

Pitsy, pitsy, pitsy, pitsy. Then I go down to legs and feetsies.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then I put the loofah down and I.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I get a lot. I love a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I slap it.

[Bobby Lee]

Boom.

[Andrew Santino]

Right in my pepito and I. And then I get underneath to my nifkin and my butthole. I really work this area. I really clean My butthole, my wiener. Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm just gonna see how much you do.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. That's a lot.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a lot. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then finally I finish with the top half with face and hair.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's the last. Jules.

[Rudy]

I just do hair, shampoo, conditioner, and then body, and then face, and then brush my teeth and then that's it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, actually, you know what? I lied. I. The very first thing I do is brush my teeth in the shower. You brush your teeth in the shower?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, me too.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't do any of it.

[Andrew Santino]

You've never brushed your teeth?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see. Looks fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's get a hands. Who brushed their teeth in the shower? Oh, wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Not me.

[Andrew Santino]

See, people. Some people don't like it.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like it.

[Andrew Santino]

Perfect. I'm already there.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. It's. It's like. You know, let me say, honestly, it's like playing basketball on ice, how it just doesn't belong there.

[Andrew Santino]

But.

[Bobby Lee]

You pee in the shower.

[Andrew Santino]

No, No.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't care.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop, stop, stop. Yeah, Yeah, I pee in the shower too. He poops in the shower.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't poo in the shower. That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

We did a whole episode about it. You smushed the poop down the drain. You talked about it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, one time. Okay, one fucking time. That's fucking one time.

[Andrew Santino]

One time too many times.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that one time too many times.

[Bobby Lee]

One time you did a month ago.

[Andrew Santino]

You've done it more than.

[Bobby Lee]

You pooed in the shower. Yeah, I had to go. Exactly. That's a good one. Yeah. There you go. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you've done it often.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm not. I don't shame Carlos for doing that. I get it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you should.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You do not poop in the shower. Do not poop in the shower.

[Bobby Lee]

You do what you need to do. Thank you. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Cuz then. Then the water, it's gonna smack. You're gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Because I need a mirror when I brush my teeth.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you looking at?

[Bobby Lee]

So you can go. You have to be.

[Andrew Santino]

I have my. My phone. I have my. I could if I need it. Yeah, yeah, I have my phone.

[Bobby Lee]

I just don't. I feel it like it's not. Doesn't belong there.

[Andrew Santino]

I get this. People say this, but I think it does because it's the first thing I like to do. It's warm. The water on your back is so warm. And you're brushing under the warmth. It's just. It's a perfect Combination.

[Bobby Lee]

It just seems like you're doing your taxes in the water. It doesn't make any sense. Like with a calculator, abacus, whatever.

[Andrew Santino]

So hygienically you're cleaning your body and then also cleaning your mouth. Doesn't belong in the cleaning. In the cleaning.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe you're right, but I know I just can't. I would never do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I think you should. Will you try it?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Please? I'd like. Unfortunately, I want to know how Andres does his. But I know it's going to be really weird and annoying. How do you do your shower?

[Bobby Lee]

It's like north to south.

[Andrew Santino]

You start up top and go down.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Always. All right. So everybody. Okay. Carlos, what's your shower routine?

[Bobby Lee]

Get it. It's a lot like Rudy's, actually.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you like baths, right? Because you like to have that. The water on your clit.

[Bobby Lee]

I like baths, actually. I love baths.

[Andrew Santino]

Me too. Who doesn't? They're fucking amazing. But he lets the water rush on his little clit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. In terms of baths, what you got me for my birthday.

[Rudy]

Was it bad?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's not that bad. It's just like. I don't know what the point is.

[Andrew Santino]

She gives me like bath salts.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it was flowers. Like full blown petals.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no, they're. It's actually the aromatics. It's good for you.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Supposed to calm you down? Yeah, it's really.

[Bobby Lee]

But I gotta pick all. I gotta pick all the up.

[Andrew Santino]

You have someone clean your house for you? You don't do that. She's right there. She gave herself garbage.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. When's the last time you clean my house? Months.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, get back to it.

[Rudy]

It's too much.

[Bobby Lee]

Too much, is it? I got a new person.

[Andrew Santino]

You did? Yeah, one person. Or more than one?

[Bobby Lee]

It's a cabal of Hispanics.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a cabal.

[Bobby Lee]

A cabal of Hispanics.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Just one pickup truck, 35 Hispanics.

[Bobby Lee]

And they're amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Where did you find these people?

[Bobby Lee]

Through my friend. Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because what if I need somebody?

[Bobby Lee]

It's through Gilbert. Gilbert. Gil. She's great.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I have a woman that I'm dearly, dearly in love with.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, then why'd you ask me?

[Andrew Santino]

In case she doesn't do it anymore. What if she stops one day?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She's incredible. Dude, this woman is so beautiful and nice. She really. I'm not. I'm not. I'm actually not even making a comedy joke right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She's such a lovely person. Her heart is so beautiful. She walks in the door and sits and plays with a dog before. She's like, my friend, My friend. And she'll like, sing to the dog and sit and play with the dog. It like, makes my soul so happy when I see her. And she's always in a good mood. And I've told her multiple times, I've said, you know, if you want me to get you food or you want to eat or whatever, anything in the house, you can have always anything. I've never seen her eat. I've never seen her drink water. She's never gone to the bathroom. Never. I'm always like, you know, you can have any of the food in the fridge. You can do anything you want. She's like, no, okay. No, it's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

But do you do the Bobby Lee test of deception?

[Andrew Santino]

I leave money all over the place.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I do.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I leave thousands and thousands of dollars deception.

[Bobby Lee]

And what I do is I leave random money.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Tens, twenties, sometimes 100.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

In places to see if they take.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And they never take.

[Andrew Santino]

They never take.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the test. Because if they take, I fire.

[Andrew Santino]

You kill.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't kill. But do you do that?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I went to a jewelry store. I got a bunch of loose diamonds.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what you have.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'll just put diamonds all over.

[Bobby Lee]

That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but she's so. It's like, she's so honest. If she did take from me, I don't care. She's such a good person. If she was. If I caught her.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And she was like, I steal this.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well, I guess if you're cleaning and you saw like a random dollar bill, you would in your head go, oh, that's a test of the SAP, John.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, right. You would pass this test recently, proud to say.

[Andrew Santino]

What happened?

[Bobby Lee]

I was at Mercedes and there was a five dollar bill on the bench. And I just took a picture of it and I didn't take it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, this is not the same scenario. You're an idiot. You should have taken the five dollar bill. Really?

[Bobby Lee]

What? The wild?

[Andrew Santino]

The wild is fine.

[Bobby Lee]

In the wild. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Money in the wild.

[Bobby Lee]

Thought I was being filmed or something. Yeah, Streamer, planes. Oh, yeah, sometimes. Did he do that? Right?

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but what would be that you picked up a random fight. Was there anybody around you? No, that's your money I left.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Have you seen these? Carlos, have you seen these? Okay. Where they, like, they'll have like a little girl, like on a bench.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. I hate that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so what I'M talking. They're tests of trust.

[Andrew Santino]

I hate that, right.

[Bobby Lee]

Where it's like, you know, like a woman will be sitting there, right, who's like a, you know, a plant, right? And then some guy will hit on her, right? And some strangers. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm so grateful. I'm not in that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I don't think, I don't know, I think I would fail.

[Andrew Santino]

You'd walk away.

[Bobby Lee]

I would just be like, oh, that's weird. You know, I walk away. Or if a little girl comes to me, excuse me, sir, I don't have anyone. Or. And I'd be like, oh, you do hear me.

[Andrew Santino]

Get the fuck away from me.

[Bobby Lee]

Catch me doing that. I'm fucked, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you're done.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, those test.

[Bobby Lee]

What would you do?

[Andrew Santino]

That's the name of the show. Yeah, it's called John, John, John Quinones. What would you do? Right? Isn't that what it's called? What would you do?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, what would you do if I saw that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's what it's called. What would you do?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what it is, literally the.

[Andrew Santino]

Show we're talking about.

[Bobby Lee]

What would you do?

[Andrew Santino]

I. I honestly, I'm so aloof in public. I'm. I'm probably just walking by.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not gonna stay there and take care of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Is there anything that you. A punk that you did that was like. That aired that went crazy?

[Andrew Santino]

Is there a punk that I did that went. I mean. You mean like what, like it did. Well, I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but that was like they were mad. Like super mad or.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean. No, I don't think there was anything that we did that like everything that aired kind of went. I will say. Oh, there. No, that's not true.

[Bobby Lee]

There's so many lives you've lived.

[Andrew Santino]

There's one. There's one that we did in the hills and I don't remember who it was and it was a bad idea. I don't remember the girl. I don't remember. We were in the hills and I was pretending like I was lost and they were house sitting and I pretended like I was a guy who's just like lost in the hills and my car died and somehow we figured out a way to get me inside of the home and this woman thought she was like trapped with a. The hitchhike killer or something like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

It was. It was such a bad bit. It was so stupid and so overblown. This woman was on the phone with her mother, like, just bawling, crying.

[Bobby Lee]

And they never aired that either.

[Andrew Santino]

No, did not add that one. No, no, no. I mean, the. The Arab ones are, you know, like Efron hitting an old woman. We hit an old woman with a car. A stunt woman.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you knew Zac Efron then?

[Andrew Santino]

That's the first time I met him.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah, that was the first time I met that guy. Anyway.

[Bobby Lee]

Deep Hollywood connections.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, first of all, I was. First of all, I was a kid. I was an actor on Punk that no one knew, and people still didn't know that I did that.

[Bobby Lee]

I remember you then.

[Andrew Santino]

And I got paid, like, $40.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But I was remembering. This guy's on the rise.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what's so funny? Here I am shooting punked. No, no, listen. How funny is this? Here I am shooting punk'd, shooting a TV show, writing it and being an actor in it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Working at the studio, and I was worried about rent every month.

[Bobby Lee]

That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

I was so worried.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

There was months that I almost didn't pay rent.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I got paid so little money from the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you make a week?

[Andrew Santino]

It wasn't a week. It was an episode. You got paid an episode?

[Bobby Lee]

How much you get an episode?

[Andrew Santino]

I think it was. I think it was fifteen hundred dollars, something like that. An episode.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but then with taxes and all that stuff. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

To pay my agent, my lawyer.

[Bobby Lee]

700.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. 800 bucks. 700 bucks.

[Bobby Lee]

So how many episodes you do a month?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no, it's not month. In total. We only did 10 or 11. I don't even know.

[Bobby Lee]

Your only income.

[Andrew Santino]

I was forced to work for the studio full time. Like. Like, I got. I got put in that system, and I was working for the studio.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Like, I was writing for them and all that stuff, and I was.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you got ripped off.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we got cooked. Those guys were making millions of dollars. We were. I mean, that's Hollywood and Jet. That's. That's what they do. They.

[Bobby Lee]

My mad TV was $4,500 a week.

[Andrew Santino]

That's great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's really good money.

[Bobby Lee]

But you only got four the first year.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? Oh, only four episodes.

[Bobby Lee]

And then you can't do anything else.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And they hold you.

[Bobby Lee]

So then you're like, oh, I got to fuck. Am I going to.

[Andrew Santino]

It's weird to be on tv.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And people from home being like, dude, you're on tv.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. You get there's.

[Andrew Santino]

And you're like, I can't.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't pay rent, do anything.

[Andrew Santino]

It's fucked. The business is fucked.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why you still eating at Arby's and like.

[Andrew Santino]

Arby's? What are you, rich?

[Bobby Lee]

I know, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I was eating exactly. Maybe out of the trash can behind the Arby's.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, well, at the college.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you guys got any beef? You're throwing away beef? Aren't touchless. Very hungry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But now at the Comedy Store, they're like, dude, congratulations. You're like, yeah, I'm making less money than I.

[Andrew Santino]

Than I was before.

[Bobby Lee]

Before?

[Andrew Santino]

No, dude. Are you kidding me? Free meals at comedy clubs?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

When they were like, when I would go and play those clubs, I'd be like, hey, can we get lunch and dinner here?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And they were like, what? Why? I'm like, pay for.

[Bobby Lee]

But I played it, right. I remember the first year I went. I got on it with. I don't for say. I can't say her name, but a Hispanic girl, we all know her, I think, right? And so there was like a couple of weeks where we weren't in anything.

[Andrew Santino]

Didn't make a sketch.

[Bobby Lee]

Not a single sketch, right? And all the white nude dudes. People were getting everything.

[Andrew Santino]

White new dudes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then. So I remember her coming into my dressing room crying. She goes, this is fucked up. I go, what is it? And she's like, well, I mean, you're Asian, I'm Hispanic. And we're not getting. Right. I'm going to go to the president of the. You know. Of the company.

[Andrew Santino]

Fox?

[Bobby Lee]

No, of the show. The guy that owns the show who's like this old Hollywood mogul, right? I can say his name. He's a great guy. David Salzman.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

This just old. He did Dallas and Judge Judy. I mean, this is an old guy, right? And I grabbed her by the wrist. I go, please don't. I go, and if you do leave.

[Andrew Santino]

My name out of it, we will be fired.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And she's like, no, I'm making a stink. This is bullshit. She goes. Knocks on his door and just went into cry fast. Right? Two weeks later, I never saw her again.

[Andrew Santino]

You got fired?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what happens.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was in nothing. And I just, you know, my fingers on the dressing room wall.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Just hanging.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby. Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

They're taking my ankle, trying to get me out. I'm like, I'm not leaving. Right? And that's. That's. I think that was the right. Right move. It took years for me to get anything really legitimate, but I just I could barely made every. You know, I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

But you didn't get fired.

[Bobby Lee]

You gotta play it smart.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't get fired.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And you got. You gotta play it smart.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Something that you don't. You. She doesn't have to. With her generation, she can do whatever she wants.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I tell you another story about it? I tell you this, so I'm not gonna name any names, but I. There was another female comic from the store, right. That was gonna test for mad tv.

[Andrew Santino]

Whitney?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I can't tell you.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And so we were. I remember seeing her, and I go, oh, so are you nervous about the test?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And she goes, I ain't doing it. And I go, why? She goes, I need 10 grand to test. I need 10 grand because, you know, you negotiate.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I know. Was she famous already?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Oh, she was just the same comma guy.

[Andrew Santino]

I was sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Nobody, right? And I go, you're asking for 10,000 an episode because the initial thing is 4,500, right? And she goes, yeah. And I go, oh, I'm testing. I don't care. They could give me peanuts. Yeah, I'm testing Erewhon peanuts, though, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then, so five years after that, I was at a restaurant.

[Andrew Santino]

She served you?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, and you know what she said to me? She goes, I should have taken the 4,500.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, that hurts my heart.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's. And I swear to God. And I was like. My heart cracked.

[Andrew Santino]

You stiffed her on the tip.

[Bobby Lee]

I go, yeah, but. Hey, dude, can I get the fucking ketchup? You know what I mean? I asked you for the hot sauce. You know, I mean. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's awful.

[Bobby Lee]

And we. I. She never worked again. Never saw her again. My God, she should have taken it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

She would have killed it on that show.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, we need. We need to figure out a way to have Rudy get her act together so we don't have a. A failure on our hands.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's the.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a lesson.

[Bobby Lee]

You listen. Did you hear the lessons today?

[Rudy]

Yeah, I'm scared.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, you don't have to be scared. Well, you have to make the right decision.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you should be scared.

[Rudy]

But how do you know that you're making the right decisions?

[Andrew Santino]

That's a good question.

[Bobby Lee]

That is a very good question.

[Andrew Santino]

I actually don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I mean, you. The opportunities that you get, seize them. You seize them?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't go against them. Because I really, honestly believe that one day. And don't give me that face.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't give him that face.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. One day you're going to look back at certain times in your life, you're going to go, oh, I didn't see it for what it was, and say.

[Andrew Santino]

That to all of our fans, too. Sometimes it's like, if it's right there in front of you, the worst you. The worst that can happen is that it just doesn't work the way you think, but you got to keep trying it.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, for instance, if you. If 7eki is wanting to do a podcast with you individually and, you know, I mean, and they go, you want to try it. Right. I think your instinct would be, no, I don't want to do it. Right.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Well, then don't. But I think you'd regret it because. Because hot now, right?

[Andrew Santino]

If you.

[Bobby Lee]

It won't be 10 years from now.

[Andrew Santino]

If you try it and it doesn't work. All that. All that happened was it didn't work. It doesn't matter. You don't lose, you know, it just.

[Bobby Lee]

Didn'T work because in this moment in your life, you can make as much money as you can, and then, you know, later you'll have a little savings or whatever. But. But I honestly believe that, you know, life is hard, and it's hard out there to make a living, and we've seen people struggle, and it's like, you know, I feel like I've. And me and Andrew both have made decisions that were, like, at the end of the day, you know, beneficial.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, and I made some failures. I did a lot of failures. I mean, most of the things I did was a. Was not a failure. Most of the things I did didn't work out the way I thought they might have worked out. Bad sitcoms, bad, bad, bad scripts and testing, and it doesn't work. It just didn't work. And then you go, go, go until it works. But not seizing the opportunity is tough. And we want you to win. All we care about is you winning.

[Rudy]

I think I am more open, though.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you are.

[Andrew Santino]

I think you've grown so much on this show.

[Bobby Lee]

So much.

[Andrew Santino]

It is crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

So much.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, end the show. Tell them goodbye.

[Rudy]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Andrew Santino]

F.

[Bobby Lee]

Dam.