Fancy's Replacement

Summary

Bad Friends – "Fancy's Replacement"

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Guest: Christopher ("Big C")
Date: November 3, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Bad Friends features Christopher ("Big C") as a guest, brought in as a temporary replacement for regular producer Fancy B (Andreas), who's out for family reasons. Andrew and Bobby put Big C—an earnest, awkward superfan from upstate New York—through a classic Bad Friends gauntlet: playful roasting, improv madness, and personal questioning. The hosts explore Big C's background, social quirks, romantic hopes, and pop culture fixations, ultimately aiming to find out if he could ever fill Fancy’s shoes—or perhaps just entertain the fans for a wild hour.

---

Table of Contents

• Introduction and Replacing Fancy (00:00–02:00)
• Getting to Know Big C (02:00–08:00)
• Big C’s Romantic Prospects (08:00–18:00)
• Geek & Gaming Talk (18:00–30:00)
• Big C’s Life Outlook and Empathy (30:00–43:00)
• Interpersonal Roasts & Friendship (43:00–49:00)
• Paige from The Viral Podcast Call-In (49:00–63:00)
• H3 Podcast & Olivia – Awkward Fan Calls (63:00–73:00)
• Notable Quotes & Moments
• Overall Themes & Takeaways

---

<a name="introduction"></a>

Introduction and Replacing Fancy (00:00–02:00)

• The episode opens with Andrew and Bobby introducing Christopher, aka "Big C," who submitted himself as a video applicant for Fancy B’s producer seat.
• Big C is immediately urged to perform and "be free," starting with a joke about Ozempic. The group warmly roasts him, setting the playful, irreverent tone.
• [00:36] Andrew makes clear: "Fancy B is taking a leave... and for the time being, our lovely Fancy is being temporarily replaced by the Big C."

---

<a name="gettingtoknow"></a>

Getting to Know Big C (02:00–08:00)

• Big C reveals he's from Albany, NY, and originally from the Dominican Republic. He's called "The Big C."
• Bobby and Andrew push him into on-the-spot singing. He tries in both English and Japanese, referencing his love for anime.
• When asked about his dating life, Big C admits he hasn't had sex in over thirteen years:
  • "I haven't done [it] in like, 13 years." (03:14)
• The hosts explore his sexual and romantic preferences with classic Bad Friends awkward humor.
• Andrew, noticing Big C’s shyness: "You gotta be more open, man—13 years, you gotta be less picky." (06:28)

---

<a name="romance"></a>

Big C’s Romantic Prospects (08:00–18:00)

• Big C describes his ideal woman: Asian, into anime, plays video games.

• "If she's... tells me to go play a game with her, I would probably do it." (06:35)

• The hosts discuss setting him up, joking about Albany/New York-area singles, and tease him about being picky after a long dry spell.

• Big C reveals he will soon be moving to Florida with his mom, lives with her, and works with his brother.

  • Adds: "From the basement of my mom's house to here... I just keep going down and down." (07:25)

• Bobby: "We flew you out here just to hang."

• Andrew (joking): "This will be the longest hour we've ever done." (06:54)

• Big C is challenged to try a "Better Sleep" app in his unique voice (10:07):

  "Bobby, if you play the Scene of Late series, you are 100% going to cry. You can go back to sleep now." (10:39)

---

<a name="gaming"></a>

Geek & Gaming Talk (18:00–30:00)

• Big C is a major anime and JRPG fan, particularly the "Scene of Day" series. He discusses PC and Switch gaming in depth.
• Conversation spirals into One Piece card games and cosplay; Big C proudly references his Don Flamingo costume from One Piece:
  • "That's just a cosplay. Don Flamingo." (18:40)
• Big C’s love of J-Pop vs. K-Pop sparks more cultural riffing:
  • "They got blessed—the only thing they didn’t get was the PP size." (25:12)
  • Andrew and Bobby riff on stereotypes, poking fun at their own and each other’s backgrounds.
• The trio discusses body confidence, sexual preferences, and anime porn—all with the show’s signature shock-jock irreverence.
  • Bobby: "It's all anime porn!" Big C: "80% of it." (44:21–44:29)

---

<a name="lifeoutlook"></a>

Big C’s Life Outlook and Empathy (30:00–43:00)

• Andrew and Bobby test Big C’s knowledge of American history (and, as he admits, he mostly remembers “the cotton picking” part).
  • "History... Slaves picking cotton." (33:34)
• Big C details his daily routine: goes to work, grocery shopping, then anime and games.
  • "I go to work. After work, I go home. I either go to the grocery store and if I don't have to go, I just go to my computer, watch anime or play games." (43:16)
• When asked about dreams, Big C says he’s content:
  • "I'm like happy with what I have." (44:02)
• The hosts dig deeper, probing his self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and ability to empathize.

---

<a name="roasts"></a>

Interpersonal Roasts & Friendship Dynamics (43:00–49:00)

• Andrew and Bobby volley friendly insults, accusing Big C of being anti-improv, then turning jabs on each other and reflecting on their own sensitivities.

  • Andrew: "This is the war now. This is a war." (13:30)
  • Christopher: "We are bad friends." (62:35)

• Big C references TigerBelly and WhiskeyGinger, noting (awkwardly) he prefers Bobby’s podcast for the “energy,” resulting in more roasts:

  • “I actually like Tiger...That’s because of your energy.” (46:45)

---

<a name="paigecall"></a>

Paige from The Viral Podcast Call-In (49:00–63:00)

• In a bold move, Santino calls Paige from The Viral Podcast, one of Big C’s internet crushes, on air.
• The exchange is hilariously uncomfortable. Paige gamely describes her OnlyFans content ("four-inch pubes," "I play I spy with my little brown eye") as Big C stammers nervously.
  • Paige: "Nerdy. I fart out of my butthole online." (60:55)
  • Big C: "I'm kind of nerdy...Do I have to say more than that?" (65:10)
• After the call, the hosts roast Big C for clamming up:
  • "You dropped the ball...you fucking failed." (62:00–62:03)

---

<a name="h3call"></a>

H3 Podcast & Olivia – Awkward Fan Calls (63:00–73:00)

• Still on a roll, the show rings Ethan Klein of H3, so Big C can profess his moderate crush on Olivia from H3. The call quickly gets weird.
  • After awkward intro, Big C: “Can I take her on a date?” (71:01)
• Ethan and the hosts try to play it cool, but the mood gets increasingly uncomfortable.
• Andrew: "It got really uncomfortable." (71:15)
• Bobby: “I keep dropping balls.” (72:43)

---

<a name="quotes"></a>

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Big C (on sex): "I haven't done [it] in like, 13 years." (03:14)
• On being content: "I'm like happy with what I have." (44:02)
• On dreams: "I barely...when I go to sleep, I barely have anything." (17:37)
• Anime porn admission: “80% of it.” [Of his porn diet] (44:21)
• Paige, on OnlyFans: "I fart out of my butthole online." (60:55)
• Bobby, after the H3 call: “I keep dropping balls.” (72:43)
• Big C, closing: "Thank you for being a bad friend." (73:24)

---

<a name="themes"></a>

Overall Themes & Takeaways

• Absurd Fan Engagement: This episode is a classic Bad Friends experiment in merging fan and show: Big C, a fan plucked from the internet, is scrutinized, gently bullied, and somewhat celebrated.
• Vulnerability and Comedy: Amid the relentless ball-busting, Big C’s honesty about loneliness and yearning for connection gives the episode surprising heart, even as the hosts keep things silly.
• Mix of Cultures: There’s rich comedic fodder in Big C’s Dominican background, his American experience, and deep immersion in Japanese pop culture—a triangulation that lets Bobby and Andrew riff on identity, stereotypes, and outsider status.
• Romantic Misadventures: The botched call-ins with Paige and Ethan/OlivIa are peak cringe-comedy, highlighting the show’s comfort with discomfort and Big C’s lovable ineptitude.
• Meta Podcasting: The episode is dotted with references to other podcasts and the idea that Bad Friends, for Big C, is at the top of a strange pyramid of online culture and yearning.

---

Highlighted Segment Timestamps

• 00:36 – Andrew explains Fancy B’s absence and introduces Big C.
• 03:14 – Big C admits a 13-year dry spell.
• 07:25 – Self-deprecating joke: “From the basement of my mom’s house to here...”
• 10:39 – “Better Sleep” parody with Big C’s anime voice.
• 18:40 – One Piece cosplay: “That’s just a cosplay. Don Flamingo.”
• 25:12 – “They got blessed—they only thing they didn’t get...PP size.”
• 33:34 – “History...Slaves picking cotton.”
• 44:21 – “It’s all anime porn!” “80% of it.”
• 46:45 – “I actually like Tiger…That’s because of your energy.”
• 49:02 – Bobby: “Let me say something.”
• 60:55 – Paige: “Nerdy. I fart out of my butthole online.”
• 62:00–62:03 – "You dropped the ball...you fucking failed."
• 71:01 – "Can I take her on a date?"
• 72:43 – “I keep dropping balls.”
• 73:24 – “Thank you for being a bad friend.”

---

For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In:
Expect a chaotic, affectionate roast of an awkward outsider. The episode is a meditation on outsider energy, loneliness, fan culture, and how humor—and a little brutality—can bridge distances, however uncomfortably. Dynamic, revealing, and highly cringe in the best way.

Transcript

[A]

Introduce yourself into the mic though.

[B]

You gotta come in walking and say something.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually want you to dictate.

[C]

Do what you do. Be free. Dude.

[A]

Amazing.

[C]

Yeah, it's incredible. Yeah.

[B]

So before Fancy left to Spain, he left a clone. And he told me to tell you that you forgot your fave doses of of Ozempic today.

[A]

Crushed.

[C]

Very good.

[A]

That joke. Crushed.

[C]

It's a good joke. It was a good joke.

[B]

That was good.

[C]

Yeah, that was good. That was good.

[A]

Very good.

[C]

Very good. Dude, you're, you're, you're, you're. You're on fire.

[A]

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[B]

White dude.

[C]

I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

[B]

You two are something.

[A]

We're bad friends. Hey, what's up, bad friends? This weekend I'm in Brea. Brea Improv. Come out and see me. Southern California. Support your boy Brea. Then I'm in Tempe. Come out and see me. Asu. I'm in Hammond, Indiana.

[B]

That's.

[A]

I go to Windsor, Ontario. Bethlehem, Pennover, Maryland. Atlantic City, New Jersey. Then down south by San Diego at Valley Center. Then I'm in Canyonville and finally I'm in Las Vegas. Go to andrew santino.com for those tickets. Andrew santino.com introduce yourself so the fans know who you are and to tell the story. Cuz maybe some people don't remember.

[C]

They don't remember my story.

[B]

Oh, I sent a video submission on for V to be Fancy B replacement.

[A]

It's going to be harder to understand than Fancy.

[C]

I know, I know. This is what I like. I like the challenge. What's your name?

[B]

Christopher. Yeah.

[A]

Chris.

[B]

Coming. Andreas.

[A]

No, we call you the Big C.

[C]

The Big C. Yeah.

[A]

And let me tell you something. The Big C. We're so happy to have you here.

[B]

For fans, I'm happy.

[A]

Well, let me. Shut up. Let me say this for fans at home that want to know. Fancy B is taking a little bit of a leave. He's dealing with family stuff. We love Fancy. We miss him so much. We wish him and his family the best.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And for the time being, our lovely Fancy is being temporarily replaced by the Big C. Now, Big C, the floor is yours. Take it away.

[C]

Yeah, The Big C. Yeah.

[B]

Followed by the Big D. Dominican Republic.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

Anyway, this guy, and he's just average, by the way.

[C]

Yeah, Okay.

[A]

I can't give him any.

[C]

What about the song that you wrote?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You sing the song that you wrote.

[A]

Song that you wrote for us.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Song.

[A]

Yeah. You Wrote a song.

[C]

You wrote a song and you remember it.

[A]

It goes like.

[C]

Big C is in town and take over.

[B]

I don't know what to say, guys.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm not a singer.

[C]

Big C. Yeah, Big C. You have.

[A]

To just make up a song.

[C]

Yeah. That's all you have to do.

[A]

That's the only way you're going to be able to keep this job.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Ready? And it does.

[C]

It does. It doesn't have to be good.

[B]

Can I do it in Japanese even though.

[C]

Yeah, do it in Japanese. Yeah, might as well.

[A]

Might as well. Might as well speak Japanese.

[B]

No, but I watch a lot of anime.

[A]

Here we go.

[C]

That's good.

[A]

Once you start, you can't stop.

[C]

You can't stop. Dude. When you have sex, do you stop midway?

[B]

I mean, I haven't done in, like, 13 years, so.

[A]

So you haven't made love in. In 13 years?

[B]

My mom and everyone that I know is. Is going to watch it, so. Oh. So in about 13, probably.

[A]

I haven't been with somebody.

[B]

The D. Hasn't met Debbie.

[A]

Oh. Do you prefer men or women?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're allowed to have whatever you want.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I felt like you were on the fence there.

[A]

Yeah. You sound.

[B]

I'm. I'm not.

[C]

Yeah. Commit.

[B]

Well, I. I was going to say man, but. Because I got, you know.

[A]

You got scared, right?

[C]

The pressure.

[A]

You did say. You said. You said my D hasn't met any B. But is what you're referring to, I mean, you.

[B]

The bu.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not. How they call it? The B.

[A]

A vagina.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A V. A. V. Yeah. Oh, I see. I thought you said B. I mean, you could be a buttman. I don't know.

[B]

I wouldn't mind going, are you a buttman?

[C]

Are you Buttman?

[B]

I wouldn't mind trying it. Oh, yeah.

[C]

You've never tried it?

[B]

Not with a guy.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Maybe if. If they put it on, like a wig or something.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

I don't think Carlos can help you out with that kind of.

[C]

Yeah, Carlos can.

[A]

Well, welcome, Greek. Welcome to Los Angeles.

[B]

Carlos is losing, like, 60, so I don't know if I can do that of his hair. Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So hair is the standard for you?

[B]

Kind of.

[A]

Okay, we'll get this.

[B]

We'll get only at the top, not here.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

My challenge for you tonight. Our challenge. Our challenge is to get somebody. Where do you live?

[B]

Albany.

[C]

Albany, New York. Somebody in the Albany, New York area.

[A]

Yeah. I would love.

[C]

Preferably a vagina.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[A]

Imagine if we had him live switching the show. How. How up it would be?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it'd be up.

[B]

We should have him have to cut like 10 seconds.

[C]

We would, but any nice person, a perfectly. A woman.

[B]

It doesn't need to be from like Albany.

[C]

I can move around in the general New York area.

[A]

Yeah, upstate New York.

[C]

Yeah, Oneonta. If you live in Oneonta.

[B]

We talked about this in the. In the car.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I said that I wanted two options. One, I want a nation. One, I want from a nation.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And one. I actually make that three.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Let's go.

[A]

So greedy.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're greedy. I prefer 13 years and you're greedy.

[B]

Yeah, I prefer to have this.

[C]

Okay, go ahead.

[B]

Asian games and watches anime.

[A]

Okay, so you want an Asian woman that watches anime and what else?

[B]

Plays games.

[A]

Plays games.

[C]

Like what kind of games?

[B]

Any game.

[C]

All right. Solitaire.

[B]

I mean, videos.

[C]

Oh, video games. Okay, let's.

[B]

I'm not into gambling.

[C]

All right. So you want a girl like.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Pixie.

[C]

Do you like the anime that I just draw? Yeah. You want to play Warzone?

[B]

I don't play Warzone.

[C]

Okay. Do you want to play Fortnite?

[B]

Last time I played Fortnite.

[A]

This is why. Okay. 13 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta be more.

[C]

You're very specific. So what kind of genre of game now?

[B]

I will. If she's. If she tells me to go play again with her, I would probably do it.

[C]

I just did Warzone.

[A]

You missed out. Big C. Lives in Albany, New York. He was a fan of the show. He submitted to replace Fancy.

[B]

I missed still. I'm a CEO fan of this year.

[A]

You're still right.

[C]

What he say? I don't even know what he just said.

[A]

I'm still a fan. This is.

[B]

You say that. I was.

[A]

This will be the longest hour we've ever done.

[C]

No, no, it's good.

[A]

No, I'm.

[C]

I think we're cooking.

[A]

It's amazing.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And the big C, you're from Albany, New York, and you're originally from the Dominican Republican. The Doctor.

[B]

Can I interrupt for one second?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go.

[A]

Yeah, man.

[C]

Let him, let him.

[A]

No, it's for show.

[B]

In like about two months, I'm going to be moving to Florida, so.

[A]

Why are you going to Florida?

[B]

My mom is moving, so I'm going where she moves.

[A]

You you move.

[C]

You live with your mom?

[B]

Kind of.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Remember, he lives downstairs.

[C]

You speak Spanish.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Speak some.

[B]

I. I is good.

[A]

Eyes.

[C]

Very good. Beginning.

[B]

From the basement of my mom's house to here. I just keep going down and down.

[C]

Oh, no, no.

[A]

He's taking shots. You think this is below your mom's basement? Oh, my God. I thought this.

[B]

I love you guys.

[A]

We love you. We flew you out here just to hang with.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

You guys, can. You want a war one day?

[C]

I can have a war with you.

[A]

Yeah. He's looking for a war.

[C]

Yeah. You want a war, bud?

[B]

I think I can win Bobby in a physical fight, probably.

[C]

Yeah, I think so, too.

[B]

And I never fought someone.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Maybe I did, like, like back in.

[A]

High school, but did you get in fights at the Dominican Republic when you were young?

[B]

One time.

[A]

One time. And how did that go?

[B]

Probably like a draw.

[A]

Probably a draw. The confidence. You never finished.

[C]

You never finished.

[A]

You guys.

[C]

You know why you didn't finish? You started crying.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

When's the last time you cried, Big C?

[B]

Probably like playing again. I mean, the story is super good. That's why I cry, so.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know when the story is so good that the tears just star.

[C]

Oh, like you're playing Last of Us, and you're like, oh, my God, I.

[B]

Never played the last.

[A]

Okay, what do you, what do you.

[B]

I mean, I, I, I play mostly PC games. I know that the Last of Us is on PC, but.

[C]

I know, but when I'm. What's the last game you cried?

[B]

I would say Scene of Day three.

[A]

Bring it up. I want to see Scene of Day Three. Oh, lovely.

[C]

Oh, lovely. I'm about to cry.

[A]

Just look.

[C]

Look at that.

[B]

It's a jrpg. The story is amazing.

[A]

Tell us.

[C]

Tell us the story.

[B]

I don't want to spoil the game.

[C]

No one's going to play that game, dude. Our fans are not going to play this game. I promise you.

[B]

No, if they are, they're not. They are.

[C]

Fucking tell the story. Condense it. I don't.

[B]

I don't want.

[C]

You're driving me crazy. You're driving me crazy. Just fucking give me the condensed version right now, dude.

[B]

I'm trying to save the game so you can play it, too, because I'm.

[C]

Not going to play it. I don't have a PC.

[B]

You don't have to have a PC. It's on switch.

[A]

I got to tell you, I don't know if the fans are going to like his voice or hate his voice. Yeah, yeah, because I like it.

[C]

I like it.

[A]

It's. It's very. It's pitchy.

[B]

So A Mickey Mouse.

[C]

It wouldn't be a voice on Better Sleep or one of those, you know, Me sleep? You. You know. You know what I mean? Like, if you told a story on Better Sleep or one of those apps that makes you want to relax, I don't think that'd be a good voice.

[B]

This. This neck couldn't afford to hire me. So you guys. Theoretical.

[C]

Yeah, I can't stand him. Try to. Try to do a better sleep. Like a meditation. So it's like I'm. I got the app, right? And I put, you know, the big C. I press the button, right?

[A]

You've selected the big C. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He will now put you to bed.

[C]

Yeah. And now there's a. There's a. There a song. Your bone. You know, you're relaxed.

[A]

Try to get us relaxed.

[C]

Try to get us relaxed.

[B]

Come on, Bobby.

[C]

No, no, it's not.

[A]

No, no, it's. Well, yeah.

[C]

Yeah. The app doesn't know it's. My name.

[A]

Could be AI.

[C]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, just when you.

[B]

When you download the app, it makes you put in your name.

[C]

Okay. All right, I'm downloading that, Bobby.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Enter. Go ahead.

[A]

And now you selected the Big C.

[B]

Big C. Bobby, if you play the scene of late series, you are 100% going to cry. You can go back to sleep now.

[C]

I'm not sleep yet.

[B]

Press the X to exit the app. Okay.

[A]

Really good.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Really good.

[C]

Yeah. I almost fell asleep.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The big C. Tell us about your journey here to Los Angeles. For the fans that don't know you applied to replace Fancy B. We flew you out here. Your f. Is this your first time in la?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And how was the experience?

[B]

Normal.

[A]

Normal, right. That's what we're going for.

[B]

Took a plane, a car guy.

[A]

Did you enjoy the plane ride? Was it fun? Do you. Do you fly a lot? I don't.

[C]

What.

[B]

You guys. What do you call fun?

[A]

What do we call fun?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, geez.

[A]

That's interesting. Go. Hanging out with friends. But I'm saying, was it. Were you excited?

[C]

Fruit juice.

[B]

I mean. I mean, be fun. The days coming down to today, they were excited. Exciting.

[A]

Who was excited?

[B]

I was excited.

[A]

They. You were excited?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You were excited for today.

[B]

To be here.

[A]

To be here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And so far you are.

[C]

Are you nervous?

[B]

Super happy.

[C]

Are you nervous?

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

I. I was before I was here, but not anymore.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I feel like we connected already.

[A]

We did.

[C]

We did.

[A]

What do you do? Calm your nerves. What do you do to calm yourself down?

[B]

I just. I think. I think I can. I can tell reality from fantasy.

[A]

Right?

[C]

God.

[A]

God, he's very.

[C]

He's, you know, he's a crazy person.

[B]

Yeah, he's enlightened. People call me that.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think you're crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm saying that in the event that you do murder us, this will be evidence.

[B]

I don't got the. The balls to do that.

[A]

You do.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So do you want to move to Florida or would you rather move to here?

[B]

Do I have a choice?

[C]

Yeah, we just gave you one.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You seem like you might be a good fit to keep doing the show, depending on how the rest am. I. I don't know.

[B]

Please hire me.

[A]

You want to be hired?

[B]

I mean, what can you.

[A]

But what can you do for the show? Because Fancy is going to come back.

[B]

I mean, if you need someone to clean the bathroom, I think we got you to do it.

[C]

I don't know who he was looking at. I think he was looking at me.

[A]

He's looking at me.

[C]

Who are you looking?

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Interesting.

[B]

Dude, Bobby's my friend.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're friends. We're friends already.

[A]

Oh, we're not friends.

[B]

We are friends.

[A]

I'm the one that flew you out here.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know who got you out here? Me. You.

[C]

Yeah. I didn't do anything.

[B]

Yeah, I'm playing. I'm playing you. No, no, no.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Big C. It's over for you. This is the war now. This is a war.

[C]

I love the big scene. I love it.

[B]

What, you still need people for Tiger Village?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This guy's unf. Unbelievable.

[C]

This guy's amazing.

[A]

He's unbelievable.

[C]

Yeah. How long you in town for?

[B]

George can clean the bathroom.

[C]

Yeah, George maybe a fourth mic at Tiger Belly tomorrow.

[A]

You can have him.

[C]

Are you really mad?

[A]

I'm livid.

[B]

Don't be like that. I'm playing you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

No need to get.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no.

[B]

Don't need to get.

[A]

Need to get. Need to get.

[B]

No need to get. Right?

[A]

No. No need to get. No need.

[C]

All right, so I'm going to give Andrew my. My belated birthday present to him.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[C]

Right. But I want you to do it like a Mafia, kind of a, you know, I mean, song, if you can.

[B]

What? What about if I don't do it like a Mafia? I can do a Mafia, but not a song.

[C]

How are you gonna do it?

[B]

I can actually change my voice to sound deeper.

[A]

Let's hear it.

[C]

Go.

[B]

Tell me what to say, okay, a Mafia. I don't watch a lot of. I haven't watched the. The. The grandfather.

[A]

Yeah, the grandfather. Yeah.

[C]

Bada boom, bada bing. Something like that. Yeah. Just repeat bada boom, bada bing in a deep voice.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

I sound.

[B]

I sound like a Jamaican.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Like a Jamaican black market pineapple dealer.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Wow. Wow.

[A]

This guy. I don't.

[C]

I keep doing bada boom, bada bing, bada boom, bada bing. Keep doing it. Happy birthday, dude.

[A]

Thank you. Dude.

[C]

Mafia style.

[B]

Give Andrew his present, please.

[C]

Bobby, happy birthday.

[A]

What are you doing?

[C]

What?

[A]

This is my gift because I called.

[C]

Your wife before your birthday weeks in advance.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And she's like, I just don't know. You know what I mean?

[A]

I don't like stuff.

[C]

I know. So it's like we couldn't come up with anything. So in my mind, I'm like, I don't know what to do.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You know, I mean, so I just decided to do what I wanted.

[A]

That's very sweet.

[C]

What I would want is that something.

[B]

That friends do all the time.

[A]

Give each other gifts for birthdays.

[C]

Yeah, we do that. Yeah.

[A]

Do you not have birthdays?

[C]

When's your birthday?

[B]

Call your friend's wife.

[A]

Yeah. See what he's doing.

[C]

Yeah, he's very good. I know. He's trying to cause a civil war.

[A]

He's fucking my wife. Is that now where you turned on.

[C]

His wife is my friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, and every birthday I call her and go, what.

[A]

What should I get him?

[C]

Yeah. And this year she was just like, I just. He has everything. He. So what do you give a guy that has everything?

[A]

I mean, just love and affection.

[C]

Love and affection.

[B]

A Dominican friend.

[A]

No, we have one now. You're my Dominican friend.

[C]

When's your birthday, Chris?

[B]

The 25th. Of August.

[C]

Oh. So we pat. Yep. It's the same exact birthday as my brother is.

[B]

I told you when we did the interview that it was that same week.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

That was okay.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, 32.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

In next. Next August 25th, what would you like for your birthday? You want Mafia style?

[B]

I'm about to. I don't want this to sound rude.

[A]

I think it's gonna.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But usually for my birthday things probably like, around age 20, 26, all I get is, like, probably a pistachio ice cream.

[A]

He is like the antithesis of yes. And improv.

[C]

I know. He's anti improv.

[B]

The reason I'm not picky when it comes to food.

[A]

So what are you picky with?

[C]

Well, with Women. He's very specific.

[B]

It's not that I'm picky. I would like my woman to be like that. It's just. I mean, we all have dreams.

[A]

What are your dreams?

[C]

Yeah, what are your dreams?

[B]

I barely. When I go to sleep, I barely have anything.

[C]

You don't remember your dreams?

[B]

I remember one. Maybe the last week. What to do with family stuff.

[C]

Okay, tell us a dream. Tell us a dream. A movie. The dream was about the movie.

[A]

You're scared to move to Florida?

[B]

No.

[A]

You're excited.

[B]

I'm actually kind of happy. I haven't told this to my mom, but yeah, I think it's a good thing for me because that way I like to play the One Piece card game so they have more location to play the game there.

[A]

This is Dominican.

[C]

You.

[A]

Dominican Bobby.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

This is Dr. Bobby.

[C]

No, no, that's not.

[A]

This is Dr. Bobby.

[C]

I would never locate a One piece card game facility. Who's that? That's him. Dresses a One Piece.

[B]

Don Flamingo. That's from One Piece.

[A]

Is this your alter ego?

[B]

No, that's just a cosplay.

[A]

Don Flamingo. Yeah, Don Flamingo.

[B]

You can see the pink and the.

[A]

I do see it. Yeah, we see the period.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Don Flamingo.

[C]

Flamingo. Wow.

[A]

That's your alter ego. And give me Don Flamingo's voice. How does he sound when people go down? Flamingo. Let me get a photo. How do you.

[B]

He sounds just exactly like my. My deep voice.

[A]

Let's hear Don. Don Flamingo. Can we get a picture?

[B]

So every.

[A]

Very good.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Don Flamingo. Can I get a photo with you? It's so good to see you. How are you?

[B]

We're not.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, do the voice.

[B]

I just. I just want to explain something before I do the.

[C]

Oh, it kind of is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So explain the voice and then we'll do the act. Act out.

[B]

Let me. Let me do the. The reason why I use this voice, the deep voice, because sometimes it's hard to people. For people to understand me when I use this one.

[C]

Yeah. Can you switch your voice? Let's just see if you can do deep for a while. Go deep for a while.

[B]

So it's hard for people to understand my other voice, my normal voice.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But with this one, they can kind of understand better.

[C]

I think this is your normal voice.

[B]

No, it's not. I can call my mom.

[A]

Simply safe.

[C]

The best gift you ever give me is simply say safe. And you know what? When I sleep at night, dude, I'm so secure. I have no worries because you got.

[A]

All the Simply Safe cameras all over your house.

[C]

AI baby.

[A]

And here's the best part. It's AI powered cameras detect threats while they're still outside your home and alert real security agents. It's not one of those things where you see it after it's already taken place because traditional security systems, they respond after someone's already broken in. It's too late. Simplisafe is different because they can stop crimes before they happen. With its active guard, outdoor protection and.

[C]

Other systems have cameras that let you talk to the intruders, but they require you to see the alert yourself. Simply saves monitoring agents have your back and talk to the intruders if they aren't there.

[A]

And that's right, there's no long term contracts or hidden fees you cancel at any time. It's named the best home security systems by U.S. news and World Report for five years running. So let me tell you something. If you are looking for a way to be safe, there is no safe like Simplisafe. Don't miss out on Simply Safe's biggest sale of the year. 60% off. You heard it right. 60% off.

[C]

Right now our listeners can save 60% off on a SimpliSafe home security [e-mail] bad friends.

[A]

You heard it. That's simplisafe.com badfriends there's no safe like Simplisafe Cacho.

[C]

But last night I had a terrible light dinner and I was a little hungry about 8:30ish, and I just put two scoops of my chocolate flavored cachava in a cup, poured water, mixed it, stirred it and I had a delicious, nutritious little beverage.

[A]

That's the best part about cachava. They have different flavors as well. I know you like chocolate, you've always been a big fan of chocolate. But they have vanilla chai, matcha, coconut, acai and strawberry. It is incredible because kachava can give you energy. It's good for digestion strength. It fuels and replenishes your muscles. Also good for metabolism. Get it moving with minerals and fiber.

[C]

It's a superfood baby.

[A]

It is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You can nourish your immune system with vitamin C, zinc and probiotics. They have almost everything you need crunched into two little beautiful scoops of 25 grams of 100 plant based protein and no artificial flavors, color sweeteners, no gmo, no soy, no animal products, no gluten, no preservatives. It's just clean, healthy goodness.

[C]

It's also delicious I promise you it's delicious.

[A]

By the way, every two scoops of kachava, you're gonna get 85 plus superfoods, nutrients and plant based ingredients.

[C]

Your future self will thank you. Go to kachava.com and use code BAD FRIENDS for 15 off your next order.

[A]

That's Kachava K A C h a v a dot com. The code is bad friends for 15 off quo q u o.

[C]

Let's talk about something every business owner knows too well. Missed calls. Because missing a business call, that's like watching money fly out of the window and straight into the competitor's hands. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, formerly Open phone, the smarter way to run your business communications look.

[A]

Quo is the number one business phone system. It's built for 2025, not 1995. It's rated the top choice for customer satisfaction with over 3,000 reviews on G2. Forget juggling phones or using a landline. Quo works right from an app on your phone or your computer. And I got to tell you something. 90,000 businesses are already running on quo. They do this because they understand, like we understand, that the customer, our fans, are the most important. So you don't want to miss a call. You don't want to miss something important. And that's why Quo is here to.

[C]

Help start your free trial today. Plus get 20% off your first six months. [e-mail] bad friends, it's spelled quo q.

[A]

U o.com bad friends. And if you already have a number, quo will port it over for free.

[C]

Quo. No missed calls, no missed customers.

[B]

Really?

[C]

But let's try. How about for the next five minutes, do deep voice? Let's see what's. What's clearer.

[B]

Okay. For the next five minutes.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. How are you?

[B]

I'm good.

[A]

So your trip.

[C]

But the laugh is still high. I keep the laugh high. I like that. I like the.

[B]

I don't want to change it.

[A]

Do you have any plans here in LA that you look forward? Do you want to do something in LA tomorrow?

[B]

I'm only here for one day, so I don't have a lot of plans all the time.

[A]

Do you want to stay for another day?

[B]

Can I?

[A]

What would you do for another day?

[B]

I did bring my. My switch too, so I can play some games in there.

[A]

Good.

[C]

Wow, that's very good. Yeah.

[A]

Now you're obsessed with Japanese culture. What is it?

[B]

I'm not obsessed, but I. I like it.

[A]

I would say obsessed.

[C]

I think upset. I think you're more Japanese than Dominican. That's what he listened to on the.

[B]

Plane the whole way here.

[A]

I asked him, he said, what is J pop?

[C]

Japanese pop.

[A]

I know, but like, who's the famous group that you like?

[C]

Not K pop. K pop is better. No.

[B]

I don't.

[C]

What do you have a problem with Koreans for? That's what I believe.

[B]

Pro.

[C]

You have a problem with Koreans?

[B]

Problem with Koreans.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, because Koreans, we have the best pop.

[B]

But I don't listen to it. I. It's not that I don't listen to it. I just like J Pop better.

[C]

Yeah, but. Okay, why do you like J? So you have a specific fetish with Japanese people?

[B]

Haven't you heard, like, the way that they speak the language? It's. It's like so cool. I think. I think they got blessed. They got the looks, the language. The only thing that they didn't got blessed with was with the pp. The PP size.

[A]

The PP size.

[B]

Dude, that's on a stereotype.

[C]

No, no, hold on, hold on, hold.

[B]

On, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[C]

Hold on, hold on.

[A]

Chris, is it a true stereotype?

[C]

Yeah. Well, tonight when you go to we spot, you're going to be able to see.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do I have to go naked in there?

[C]

No, you can wear shorts and Macon knows how to do it. They have shorts there. And you'll be able to compare because there's. There's a lot of naked Asian men there.

[B]

I mean, to. In my case. I'm not a. I'm not a shower. I'm more like a grower.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, me too. We're all like that. Yeah, we're all like that.

[B]

I look like the statue of the.

[C]

Guy with the Michelangelo.

[B]

Can you Google? Yeah, that guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So your penis is like that?

[C]

Like that?

[B]

Kind of. Okay.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And you're a grower.

[C]

Is it a thick pubes? You have thick pubes like that?

[B]

Can I. Can I say.

[A]

Can you say it?

[B]

I mean, I haven't done anything for like more than a decade, so.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Yeah. So it's like a Cambodian jungle.

[B]

I watched the. The viral podcast, you know, Choseling and.

[A]

Paige Jim Chelsea Lynn and Paige Ginn. Yes.

[B]

Paige has an only fans. I'm not subscribed, but she.

[C]

I'm not.

[B]

I'm not.

[C]

It sounds like I should call Paige.

[B]

She mentions it a lot.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So maybe.

[C]

Let me see if Paige picks up.

[B]

So. So I'm keeping my voice.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe we can make a collab later. Ah, I'm keeping it.

[A]

So just. Paige has a big bush and you Think your bush can match hers? Is that what you're saying?

[B]

Probably. Okay.

[A]

Are you attracted to Paige? Is that why you're.

[B]

I mean, she's good looking.

[A]

Yes, but I'm saying.

[C]

Are you?

[B]

And she's funny, too.

[A]

She's funny and she's good looking, and she.

[B]

She says in the podcast that she's. She's Asian.

[C]

She is Asian.

[A]

She is.

[B]

All she needs to do is to watch some anime and play some video games, and we are good.

[A]

So then this is kind of like your dream girl.

[B]

And another one is Olivia from the H3 podcast.

[A]

That's your other crush?

[C]

Yeah. Let's see, kid.

[A]

You think we can make this happen?

[C]

Oh, I know Olivia.

[B]

Can you? Yeah.

[C]

She's hot.

[B]

She's way out of my league.

[A]

Nobody's out of your league.

[C]

No one's out of your league. That's.

[B]

They are. They are.

[C]

No. No, they're not. Listen to me.

[A]

They're not.

[C]

That's the negativity in your head. There's no one out of your league.

[A]

No.

[C]

I mean, look at what I've done.

[A]

I gotta tell you, I don't even know what league you're in.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're in a league of your own.

[A]

You're in a league of your own.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And isn't that beautiful?

[B]

The Big Nose league.

[C]

If you work at Bed Bath and Beyond, you'll be the beyond department.

[A]

Yeah, way beyond.

[C]

Yeah. Way beyond.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The Don Domingo.

[C]

Yeah. We don't even know what they sell.

[A]

In that section, and no one does.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Floating orbs. I don't know what they do. Lightning in a bottle.

[B]

Can we discuss the age first? I don't want to be. What label? Usa.

[A]

What do you mean? They're grown adults, aren't they? Paige is an adult.

[C]

She's an adult.

[A]

What do you mean? She's a grown woman.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm kind of on the older side.

[A]

You're 33? 32. No, that's not old.

[C]

That's not old. No.

[A]

Do you know how old Bobby is?

[C]

54.

[A]

He's 54 years old.

[B]

I mean, they live longer. So imagine.

[A]

They do live longer.

[C]

They do live longer. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's like dog years.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Korean years.

[A]

I mentioned dogs.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's the average. What's the average lifespan of a Dominican Republican? Of someone from the doctor? 73 years. What's the average lifespan of Koreans?

[B]

40 more.

[A]

83. Or they got you by a decade.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah, a decade.

[B]

I need to start doing exercise.

[A]

You do need exercise. We all Do?

[C]

Yeah. So I'm basically 44. You are in white years.

[A]

White years? Well, no, that's. Dr. Yeah. What is the average lifespan of a.

[C]

Of a white person?

[A]

Of a white American?

[C]

78. Wow.

[A]

78. Oh, we're catching up to Korea. Not too far off.

[B]

All they eat is McDonald's in Burger King.

[A]

That's not all we eat. We. We eat a lot. What do you eat?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, they created Erewhon, dude.

[B]

Yeah, I mean whole foods, organic food.

[A]

What do you eat? What? Dinner.

[C]

What do you eat, dude? Plantains.

[B]

I mean, some sometimes.

[C]

Yeah. I believe. You don't believe in the afterlife.

[B]

I don't.

[C]

Oh, you think this is it?

[A]

What happens when we die?

[B]

I will let you know once I hit the boat.

[A]

Once you hit the boat.

[C]

That's a term I've never heard that.

[A]

Dominican Republic.

[B]

I mean, once you hit the boat.

[A]

That's it? Yeah, yeah, that's it. When you hit the boat. That's it. The boat gonna be. That's it. Okay. Once you hear it.

[B]

The green Reaper. When he comes to take your. Your soul.

[A]

The grim. You believe the Grim Reaper is real?

[B]

No, but, you know, that's what people say.

[A]

But when it's over, nothing. Where do you think you go? You think it's totally done?

[B]

I mean, I don't know.

[A]

I know we don't supposed to know. Well, no, none of us know. But what do you think happens?

[B]

No idea, right?

[C]

It's a mystery.

[B]

It's a mystery.

[C]

Yeah. And that's.

[A]

What would you like to. What? What do you think you'd like to.

[B]

Have happen according to the age range? We should probably be asking Bobby about that.

[A]

Well, he is the elder.

[C]

I'm the elder. So what are you asking me? Like, you think I'm gonna go first?

[B]

Probably. If we go by age.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But judging by.

[C]

My bet is on Carlos. But. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. I was going to say that judging on.

[A]

I don't know. Yeah, I think maybe George.

[C]

Yeah, George. Yeah.

[B]

George seems so stressed judging on like substances. I don't know, I. Yeah.

[C]

In fact, George. George feels like he's the father of Greg and a goop and Christopher.

[A]

This is kind of. That's.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, look at. That's the dad.

[A]

That's the dad.

[C]

That's the dad of it.

[B]

The whole family.

[C]

I'm super chill. Come on. No, but it's the same kind of beyond good cell. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm super chill. Come on. Yeah, George, you were cool.

[C]

Dad. Come on. What are you talking about? It's just genetically okay.

[A]

You know what I mean, Christopher?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you moved bodies for. And then when did you move to the States again? When you moved up to Albany?

[B]

I came to the state when I was around 17, I think.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

You finished high school?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

College?

[B]

I did, like two years.

[A]

And where did you go again? I think we asked you the college. Yeah. Did you do college?

[B]

Tech.

[A]

Tech.

[B]

I went for computer science, but I wasn't comprehending anything.

[A]

You were bored?

[B]

Kind of.

[A]

Yeah. Because you're very smart.

[B]

I don't think I am.

[A]

I think you are.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

You know, I think you're lying. I think you are smart.

[C]

You're smarter than me, for sure. I wouldn't be able to, like. You do electronics and.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

How do you build a panel?

[B]

It's kind of easy. They give you like a map, so you just follow the map.

[A]

Okay. Did you do good in school when you were young?

[B]

I did good in math.

[A]

Math, right. You are smart. Math is very hard.

[B]

Only with the numbers.

[C]

Oh, you're all good with the numbers.

[A]

Well, math does involve numbers. Yeah.

[C]

So you don't know anything about history?

[B]

I did. Took one year of history here.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

What did we learn?

[B]

High school year.

[A]

What did we learn then?

[C]

Tell us about the Industrial Revolution.

[B]

I don't know. I don't remember that.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I think that the thing that I remember the most was about the. The cotton picking.

[A]

Tell us about that.

[C]

Tell us about the.

[B]

I don't remember.

[C]

I. I've never heard of that. Have you?

[A]

Doesn't ring.

[C]

It doesn't ring a bell for me. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Slaves speaking cotton.

[A]

What?

[C]

What?

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

What do you mean?

[B]

History.

[C]

Yeah, I know, but tell us about slaves.

[A]

And slaves did what?

[B]

Pick cotton?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When am I.

[C]

When?

[B]

I don't know, the year. Okay.

[C]

Recently? Like 10 years? 15 years.

[B]

Not with AI. Probably more recent.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Interesting. That's the only thing you know about history that's interesting? Yeah.

[A]

Was that fascinating, that. That category? Is that why you got stuck on it?

[B]

Maybe? Because I. I came here without knowing how to speak English and. Oh, I went my. My senior year, you know, in like a super white school. High school.

[A]

Did you like that or not like it?

[B]

I. I didn't mind.

[C]

Imagine he has. He doesn't know to speak the English.

[B]

I had a bunch of friends.

[C]

You did have a lot. Okay, good.

[A]

Do you still keep in touch with friends from high school?

[B]

No.

[A]

Nobody.

[B]

Zero.

[A]

Well, do you have a group of friends back home? A tight group of friends that you hang out with or play video games.

[C]

With when you do the One Piece card game, maybe. You know what I mean?

[B]

I got a few friends from playing the One Piece.

[C]

Yeah. And when you go in there. Hey, Gilbert, what's going on? What's like. Let's say we're in the. We're in a room.

[A]

Oh, Big C's here.

[C]

Hey, Big C. What's up, man?

[A]

What's up, man?

[C]

Eugene. I don't know if you remember Caleb.

[A]

Caleb.

[C]

Caleb and Eugene, man.

[B]

I just say. Hey, you guys want to play some games, too? No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Today we want to talk about stuff.

[C]

Yeah, let's talk about stuff right now, man. Tell me, dude, how was Bad Friends? I heard you went to la, man. What was it like?

[B]

You want to know what's funny? What, dude, One guy actually asked me like that. He heard my voice because he's one of the viewers.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What are you talking about, man?

[B]

He's a beautiful. A fan.

[C]

What was it like in la, man?

[A]

What did you. Did you have fun with Bobby and Andrew?

[B]

Yeah, I had a lot of fun.

[A]

What did you do?

[C]

What'?

[B]

I just talked in the podcast.

[C]

Yeah, but do you do anything afterwards, man?

[B]

I mean, we are planning right now. I mean, we plan to do about. Let my. My past. Me know you. It's like, I love it.

[C]

You do?

[A]

I think it's so funny. A piece of me thinks he's doing it deliberately.

[C]

You think so, huh?

[B]

I'm not trying to.

[C]

Oh, you think it's the Andy Kaufman. Kaufman.

[A]

He's gonna walk outside smoking cigarettes after him, be like, man, that was.

[C]

No, I met him before.

[A]

Yeah, we met him before.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I don't like to tell lies.

[A]

Yeah, good. Well, this show is.

[B]

Unless. Unless it's for, like, comedy purposes.

[A]

That's what the show is.

[C]

That's what this show is.

[A]

The whole show.

[B]

Yeah, but I. I don't know how to invent these stories or tell me how.

[C]

One Piece card game. Because we don't know what it is. I know One Piece based on the anime. Right? So it. Is it like, is. Is it like regular cards with, like, King, queen. I mean, with.

[A]

Yeah. What is it like?

[C]

Is it.

[B]

It's like you. It's like Pokemon cards.

[C]

Oh. Ah, look at that. So if I have the monkey. Zoom in on that one.

[A]

Monkey Luffy.

[B]

Yeah, you have the monkey What? Nothing.

[C]

If I have the monkey D. Luffy card, is that good?

[B]

You can run four copies of each character car.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

So you can have four monkeys.

[C]

Okay, I have four monkeys. Okay. If I have three monkeys, is that bad?

[B]

It depends on the range that you want to have your deck.

[C]

Okay, well, we know how to play the game now.

[A]

There it is. I guess we got it.

[C]

We got it.

[A]

2800. Good God. Is that expensive?

[B]

That's the first set. It's like the Pokemon.

[C]

So it's a deck. It's like a bunch of cards, right?

[A]

Do you have anything like this?

[B]

That's like 2000 something.

[A]

Yeah. Do you have a one piece deck like that?

[B]

That's like a whole set.

[C]

Okay, but if we got you that, would you be happy?

[B]

The 2001?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't get it.

[C]

Why?

[B]

It's a waste of money.

[C]

Okay, give me the one that you would want. Not that I would get.

[B]

I can buy my own. You. You guys don't need to buy it.

[A]

In your face.

[C]

In my face? Really? There's not a. You can afford these card. Card decks.

[A]

Yeah, he's got a job. He's got a good job. Is there something that you've always wanted? It's not good. Is there something you've always wanted that you can't afford in the card game? Because Bob and I would buy it for you is what he's saying. Okay, good.

[C]

Wow. You don't like getting gifts.

[B]

I. I don't mind.

[A]

This guy's a wonky contradiction. I can't figure it out.

[C]

I can't figure it out.

[B]

In one of. In each car set box, there is a special car that is called the Manga Rare.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And since the set number three, I've been opening one pack, I mean one box of each set to now they are insert 13, I think it is, or 12. And I haven't got a single manga once.

[C]

That's what it is.

[B]

So my luck is super bad.

[A]

Oh, you know what I'm thinking about right now?

[B]

Don't get it. Don't get it.

[C]

We're not gonna get it too. I hear your mind.

[B]

If you are going to get me one, get me the Sanji massage.

[A]

Sanji.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

That's 100.

[C]

Don't get it.

[B]

Don't get it.

[A]

Well, it's $100,000.

[B]

No, it's not that one. That's Yamato.

[C]

All right. It's in the cart.

[B]

Don't, don't, don't buy it.

[C]

We're not going to buy that for you. Don't buy that. Carlos. Carlos, get out of that.

[B]

If you buy that. If you buy that, I'm never coming back to the podcast.

[A]

Buy it now.

[C]

Wow. Ship station. Oh my God. We have a online business, e commerce business and we use shipstation because we only use the best. If you run an e commerce business, you know, customers reviews have an enormous impact on your business.

[A]

They really do. Level up your business with shipstation. Shipstation goes beyond just shipping labels. It's order fulfillment excellence. And thanks to Shipstation we're able to get all that merch to you guys like those hats and the socks and the hoodies and we got new merch coming out again soon. And thanks to Shipstation, they make it so simple and so easy.

[C]

Shipstation grows with you. Customers report scaling operations up to 40 times with Shipstation.

[A]

That's so big.

[C]

That's a lot.

[A]

Automate your workflow and save time. Reduce human error through an unlimited number of ways to automate the fulfillment process. It's the best in class Carrier savings discounts up to 90 off rates on all the major global carriers.

[C]

98 of companies that stick with Shipstation for a year Become customers for life.

[A]

Centralize your fulfillment operations in one place. With over 400 store carrier and tool integrations. There's a reason why successful businesses use shipstation. Wow your customers and get R reviews with cheaper, faster and better shipping. Upgraded ship station today to get a 60 day free trial at shipstation.com bad.

[C]

Friends there's no credit card or contract required and you can Cancel Anytime.

[A]

That's shipstation.com Bad Friends.

[C]

Rocket Money I've saved so much money on Rocket Money, I had so many subscriptions I had not even aware of.

[A]

It's almost like they hide it from you. But thanks to Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps in finding to cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bill so you can grow your savings. If you got a goal that you're saving for financially, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time each month to put extra money aside.

[C]

Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.

[A]

Yeah, it's pretty incredible. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate to lower your bills for you so you don't have to do all that stupid heavy lifting trying to explain to the person on the other end of a phone that's usually not even there. Rocket Money has saved users over 2.5 billion billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members have saved up to $740 a year when they use all the app's Premium features.

[C]

Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget, and even when you're doing a good job.

[A]

And you will be doing a good job because Rocket Money has got you covered. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocket money.com/bad friends today.

[C]

That's rocket money.com/bad friends. Rocket money.com/bad friends. Are your brothers working?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay, good.

[B]

I have my 31 year old brother. He works in the same place that I work at.

[C]

Oh, you're assembling in this. You see him every day?

[B]

Yes, I see.

[C]

What's his name?

[B]

Danny.

[C]

Denny.

[B]

Yes, Danny.

[C]

Do you say hi when. I mean, you saw him in the morning when you woke up, but when you walk into the business, you're going, hey, Danny or no, I mean, there.

[B]

Is another guy called Danny in the same place. So I said, I said, I said not to my brother.

[A]

You're an enigma sometimes. You're a enigma, dude. Yeah. I love you. I loved you from the jump.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Sometimes I wake up and I have to go and wait this guy out of his bed because he is still sleeping.

[A]

Your brother.

[C]

Your brother.

[A]

Well, then you go wake up Danny. We gotta go to work.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And does he get mad when you wake him up?

[B]

No. He's like, oh.

[C]

And then when you wake up, do you drink coffee? What do you do?

[B]

How do you get your eating, like a bagel and some juice?

[C]

You don't drink caffeine ever?

[B]

I do Monster energy. Maybe like once every like five months.

[A]

Monster Energy.

[C]

It lasts.

[A]

I don't, I don't do like one sip a day.

[C]

Yeah, one sip a day.

[B]

I don't, I don't really drink energy drinks. Like, you don't drink that often.

[C]

You don't do any drugs? You don't drink. You drink one Monster Energy every five months. Yeah. Yeah. You don't do much.

[B]

I don't do much. All I do is.

[C]

You don't believe in God?

[B]

I go, I go to work. I. After work I go home. I either go to the grocery store and if I don't have to go, I just go to my computer, watch anime or play games.

[A]

What's your dream? Big.

[C]

And you listen to us though?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

At work?

[B]

Yes. To a bunch of podcasts.

[C]

Oh, oh, but you, but you. That doesn't feel really.

[A]

Did any of those other podcasts fly you out?

[B]

Yeah, but you guys are number one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Even before this, you Guys, we were.

[A]

Number one for you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I love that. So what are you. What's your dreams? Big C. I want to know for real.

[B]

I. I can't really tell.

[A]

Like, you don't want it?

[C]

I'm like, well, you want a woman.

[B]

I'm like, girlfriend, right? I'm. I'm like, happy with what I have.

[A]

Life is good.

[C]

Oh, my God, dude, you know what? He's like Chauncey Gardner from being.

[A]

But, you know, being there.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you want. Do you watch pornography?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Let me guess.

[C]

Let me guess what you want. Let me see what your Google is. Your.

[B]

I mean, it's pornhub. It's not hard to guess.

[A]

It's. It's anime.

[B]

It's simple.

[A]

It's all anime porn.

[C]

Is it anime porn?

[B]

80% of it.

[A]

What's the 20? What's the other.

[C]

What's the 20 person? 20, like, regular stuff, but Japanese girls, Asian girls, sometimes. Okay.

[B]

They don't know that. You should. I used to like Hitomi Tanaka, but she retired, so.

[A]

Hitanomi Hataka.

[B]

Hitomi Tanaka. She, she used to be a, like the top Japanese. Like porn.

[C]

Let's look what she looks like.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Is that her?

[B]

Yes. Wow.

[A]

You like her?

[C]

Oh, so you like, you Wait, you like, exaggerated, like breasts and stuff?

[B]

No, like, you know, like.

[C]

Look at that.

[A]

Yeah. Hitomi, that was your favorite?

[B]

Nah. Oh, he told me. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

She used to be my favorite.

[C]

It. Yeah. You like big breasts?

[B]

Kind of.

[A]

Yeah, kind of.

[B]

I don't, I don't mind the size, but, you know, applause is a plus.

[A]

He sounds like fancy. Yeah, that is what fancy would say.

[B]

A plus. AJ plus. The way that you do accents is so good.

[A]

I love you, buddy.

[B]

So funny.

[A]

I'm so fascinated with it. Big C is wild.

[C]

He's wild. A wild guy. Did you. You love your stepdad?

[B]

Yeah, he's. He's a cool guy.

[C]

What's his name?

[B]

He just has, you know, what Andrew has?

[C]

He asked what Andrew has.

[B]

Just like, kind of angry, anger issues.

[C]

Wow. He's got you, dude. The whole family's got you, dude.

[B]

No, like, you, like, he, he goes from zero to 100, like, in one second.

[C]

Who, Andrew?

[B]

No, my stepfather.

[C]

All right. But I'm assuming, describe my personality.

[B]

You are a cool guy. Probably, like, kind of depressed every once in a while.

[C]

Pretty good.

[A]

And. And then. And then what? It's mine. Describe mine.

[B]

I, I don't really know you that good. Like, I watch it.

[C]

Whiskey.

[B]

I, I, I was. I watch whiskey ginger too. Don't get Me Wrong.

[C]

Yeah. You watch. Tiger belly.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah. But what do you prefer?

[B]

Can I say.

[C]

Yeah, I say it.

[B]

He's not going to like it. I actually like Tiger. Tiger.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

But that's because of your. Your energy. I think that. I'm not trying to say.

[C]

Oh, God, I'm so a.

[B]

But what?

[C]

Happy birthday, dude. You're a good guy, dude.

[B]

Bobby, next time you flat me out.

[C]

Wow. It turned. It was Andrew's idea. It was Andrew's idea to come.

[B]

Come out here. I like you and don't get me wrong. No, no hard feelings.

[C]

The hotel was his choice and everything. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Can I.

[C]

It was all Andrew.

[B]

Dude, can I stay at your house?

[C]

You want to stay at my house?

[B]

I don't think Andrew is going to pay.

[C]

Oh, we'll pay. We'll pay. J. Now, Andrew, can I talk to you? How do you feel? How do you. No, be quiet for a second. Okay. Andrew, look at me. How do you feel about Christopher?

[A]

I am. I'm pretty excited for the show to come to a close, I'll tell you that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What about you, Bobby?

[C]

Why?

[A]

I'm excited for this to come to a close.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

This is gonna keep slowly fading away.

[C]

No, it's not.

[A]

And it's this kind of stuff.

[C]

No, it's not this kind of stuff.

[A]

No, no, no. Here.

[C]

No, here's the thing.

[B]

Let me know.

[C]

Christopher, stop. Shut the up, Bobby. All right.

[A]

Bobby.

[C]

Christopher.

[A]

Bobby.

[C]

What?

[B]

I. I can. I can go.

[C]

Christopher, shut the up. Andrew. Andrew. Andrew, look at me right now.

[A]

Christopher.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Would never have stepped foot in here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If I didn't say.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Let's get him out here.

[C]

Christopher, shut the up. Go ahead.

[A]

And he's the cool guy and I'm the old school. Old school conservative.

[C]

Yeah. Rage. Rager.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I say something?

[A]

I mean.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

I'm an inch away from calling. I.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I actually like my drinks to be warm, so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't like ice.

[A]

Very good.

[C]

That's a good job. That's a good job. That's a very good job.

[B]

Let me say something.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Please, God.

[B]

Like, I really.

[A]

You haven't said enough on this podcast.

[B]

I think I was going to talk a lot less, but.

[A]

No, we're happy that you're talking.

[C]

Yeah, we like that.

[A]

This is revealing a lot.

[B]

I really appreciate that. I mean, I assumed that Bobby wouldn't remember the interview.

[A]

He did not.

[B]

But I really appreciate that you were the one that said to bring me.

[C]

It was all Andrew, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. So now who do you like more?

[B]

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

[A]

If that's. It's my favorite.

[B]

Even though if it's empty.

[A]

It's an empty heart.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you're a heartless person. A little bit. Okay, great.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I really.

[C]

You don't have empathy.

[A]

I like this guy.

[B]

I mean, I tend to go overboard with it, with empathy and stuff like that.

[C]

You go overboard with empathy?

[B]

I don't know how to sympathize. Is that a word?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, let me say something. In. In November, SNAP benefits are probably going to go away for 40 some million. 40, right. Americans. How do you feel about that?

[B]

What is a SNAP benefit?

[C]

Okay, already check. No snap. What about Obamacare? Right. It's gonna end for. It's good that. What? Go ahead.

[B]

I told these guys when I was in the car when they were driving me to the hotel that I. I don't know anything.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's. Oh, yeah. I showed him where the Palisades fire was, and he didn't know anything about it.

[B]

Like. Well, I tell you, like, most of the news that I. That come up in the, like, and, like, YouTube and stuff like that, I only see it when something, like, big happens that YouTube, like, forces you to see, like.

[A]

Right.

[C]

He just looks at the thumbnail. He doesn't click on it.

[B]

I don't. I don't click on anything. I just.

[C]

That's how he reads the news. By thumbnail.

[A]

You don't get involved with politics in world news.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I just, you know, I just.

[C]

You're in your own world.

[B]

Play my games.

[A]

That's good.

[C]

That's so good, dude.

[A]

That is fair.

[B]

I think it's good for mental health.

[A]

I do, too.

[C]

I do. You know what? He's on to something.

[A]

Yeah, you. He is.

[B]

I ignore a lot of people.

[C]

That's not good. You need to learn the new. No, I. Me too. I agree that. But.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Now let him float.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What, are you gonna sink his boat?

[C]

You're right. Yeah.

[A]

You're gonna take down the boat.

[C]

But I think the problem is the apathy and people that just don't care, you know? I mean. And if more people cared. I think.

[B]

I mean, I care about, you know, the people that I'm around, but.

[C]

All right, so you care about me and Andrew.

[B]

Yes. Now that I'm here.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you guys are around me, so if.

[C]

If Andrew passed away suddenly.

[A]

Right.

[C]

How would you feel?

[B]

I would feel bad. But we can keep making the podcast, just you and me, I think.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I've never seen Andrew like this. Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah, I'm just joking. This is just.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I like you a lot.

[A]

Are you joking?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, he's joking.

[A]

It took shots at me the whole show.

[C]

I know, I know.

[A]

I feel old school, conservative.

[C]

I know, I know.

[A]

And I don't even know.

[C]

Rigid.

[A]

Rigid.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You can take it better than anger management.

[C]

Yeah. You beat your kids.

[A]

I beat my. I don't even have.

[C]

You didn't have kids. But yeah, and I'm, I'm fun loving, cool dude.

[B]

It's because I feel like you can take it better than Bobby.

[C]

Oh, oh, I'm sensitive. Oh, now I'm sensitive.

[A]

No, no, this says.

[C]

Yeah, now I'm sensitive.

[A]

Now he's being manipulative. That's what he's doing.

[C]

Oh, you are.

[A]

He knows.

[B]

I have watched more podcasts with you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Being sensitive than him.

[C]

Ah. Oh, he's more.

[B]

Rock hard rock.

[C]

But I'll be honest with you. What people don't know, though, is that he's extremely sensitive as well.

[A]

People know.

[C]

Yeah. And also not on top of that. Right. He goes through deep depressions like I do.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And we have to be there for him, you know? And I think in many ways, Andrew.

[A]

I'm not gonna go through one right now. I'm living it.

[C]

I know. And I think in many ways me and Andrew are similar. People don't realize that, you know, like when we're off camera and stuff, when we're together, we share a lot of, like, you know, I mean, fears and, and paranoia.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And sadness and all that.

[A]

What's your biggest fear?

[B]

My biggest fear?

[A]

What do you fear?

[B]

I fear snakes.

[A]

You're perfect. Snakes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's the biggest fear.

[B]

And let me say I'm sorry for, like, assuming after what Bobby said. I, I don't, I don't mean any of what I said, you know.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

About snakes.

[B]

No, about you and.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh.

[B]

It's just.

[A]

The damage is done.

[B]

It's just playing around.

[A]

No, no, it's.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

It's 20, 25. No, be assuming.

[A]

No, no, it's. The damage is done. You hurt. Damage. You really hurt my.

[C]

He's going to go through a really deep one now.

[A]

You hurt my feel.

[B]

We can go to the spot.

[C]

No, he's not going to go.

[A]

Yeah, I have feelings are hurt.

[C]

His feelings are hurt.

[B]

We can go golfing. I never go. Oh, imagine.

[A]

Oh, perfect.

[C]

I imagine.

[B]

I, I, I know that you like golf.

[C]

Are you good at bowling Average.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right, right, right. I'm.

[C]

Well, I'm. Because I'm. Because, you know, because he's Dominican. He's gonna be in Florida. Yeah, right. My fear is because they don't care. I think that, you know, brown guy. I'm just afraid that they're gonna.

[A]

You want to protect him because.

[C]

Yeah, he. He will get chased. I can see him getting chased.

[A]

Well, he did all those. That's a good thing.

[C]

He did all those with the accent. I know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I can change my. My voice and say, yeah.

[C]

All right, so, like, we're ice, right?

[A]

Let's see how this.

[C]

Let's see how this goes, right? I change it for note. Just play. Get in the scene. Get into the scene.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Hey, freeze.

[A]

Get on the.

[C]

Get on the ground. Wait.

[B]

I'm American.

[A]

Where are you from?

[C]

Where are you from, man?

[B]

I come from Albany. I mean. I mean, I meant to say Florida.

[A]

Book them.

[B]

I messed. I messed up the step.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, you did. You did that.

[B]

Yeah, I would say, like.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

Sorry. My voice crack.

[C]

Oh, very good save.

[A]

Very good.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, Good save. Okay, good. Wow.

[A]

All right. What is that?

[C]

People are saying Selena Gomez's new look is Bobby Mom.

[A]

A little bit.

[C]

A little bit like my mom.

[A]

What do you mean, her new look? What did she do different?

[C]

I think just for a video game.

[B]

Or a music video.

[A]

I mean, she does look different. I can't tell what she. What makes her look different? Selena Gomez looks stunning for the. In the dark music video. Someone said here.

[B]

I think I know what it is.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

It's like the yellow. The yellow light and the yellow, you know?

[A]

Oh, she's 33. I don't know why I thought she was much younger for some reason.

[C]

Yeah, she's been famous.

[A]

When you get famous that young, you're like, young forever. You're that age forever. It's kind of crazy. Do. Would you ever want to be famous? Big C. Me.

[B]

Me.

[A]

If you were famous, what would change then? You think that you would be Nothing.

[B]

I will be the same. The same guy.

[A]

Same guy.

[C]

Well, I mean, this podcast is dedicated to you, right? I mean, this is just your episode. Right? So it's gonna get out there.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And some people are gonna probably. You're not gonna become famous, but probably.

[B]

Like the viral podcast or H3. I need to make the page.

[A]

So we're a stepping stone.

[C]

You're a step.

[A]

Oh, we're a stepping stone to get to a better show.

[B]

You want to get to H3 and the viral podcast.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

You and the. What Podcast.

[B]

Viral podcast.

[C]

Chelsea Lynn. You think Chelsea Lynn and Paige Jen are bigger than us?

[B]

No, but they are like my. They are not bigger. Bigger than. Yeah, they are. They are just.

[A]

Hello, beautiful. You're on the podcast real fast. I, I. And we can cut it out. And we can cut it out if you want, but Bobby and I are sitting here. Is there any chance under the sun.

[B]

Can I say something? Let her know that I'm not.

[C]

Shut.

[B]

Shut the up.

[A]

Is there any chance under the sun that you're with Paige right now?

[C]

Oh, God. I left her about 10 minutes ago.

[A]

Damn. Okay, so there's a guy that's here who we have on the show. We flew out to be a replacement for Andres for Fancy B. And he is. And I mean in love with Paige. Like, and I mean, it's. He's obsessed. He's. Shut.

[C]

Get the. Up.

[A]

Shut up. Cut his mic off. So, Chelsea, is there any way. Can you. Can you text her if I can call her because. So we can introduce them at least.

[C]

Yeah, I just dropped off at the airport. Oh, oh, all right.

[A]

Well, well, yeah, well, well, send us a. Send me a text and we'll figure something out for another time. Just with her number, if that's okay.

[B]

She needs to hear.

[A]

I'm doing it right now, and good luck. I love you so much.

[B]

She needs to hear that.

[A]

Thank you. Okay, bye.

[B]

You. You need tell her that I'm.

[C]

No, it's over.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

What did you want to say, though?

[B]

I just want. I just wanted to tell her that I'm a. They call their viewers rock. So I want. I want her to know that I'm wrong.

[C]

It doesn't matter, man.

[B]

Bobby.

[C]

Bobby, Bobby.

[A]

Paige?

[C]

Paige, are you at the airport?

[B]

Yes, I'm at the airport.

[C]

Can you talk for a second or no.

[B]

Oh, yeah, no problem.

[C]

Okay, so we. We. We found this guy on the Internet. I mean, a guy applied to be an intern. You're. Oh, you're live on the Bad Friends podcast, by the way.

[B]

Oh, cool. No problem.

[C]

Okay. And he's a. He's not only a gigantic fan of yours, but he kind of has a crush on you. Yeah. Now, are you seeing anybody right now, Paige? No. Oh, you're not? Because, you know, he follows your only fans. We didn't know you had one.

[B]

I don't follow him.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Even though I've told you, Huh?

[C]

I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've never seen. Wait, Christopher. You've never seen her only fans?

[B]

I. I don't follow it. She mentions it, but you've never seen it. I've never seen it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

What's.

[C]

What. What's on your only fans page? I do pube.

[B]

Let me walk away from these people real quick.

[A]

Okay. I do some cube updates because I.

[B]

Have four inch pubes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Love. Love.

[B]

I play.

[A]

I play. I spy my little brown eye.

[B]

I hide my butthole.

[C]

That's fun.

[B]

And it's kind of like.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. It's a kids game. I used to play it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, but for adults. So you look for my bung ho.

[C]

Yeah. What else do you fart on it? You. I love your fart.

[A]

Farts. Yeah. Got some farts.

[C]

Christopher. You like. You like Paige's farts?

[B]

I. I'm not sure, but I'm okay with how you do it.

[A]

What?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

You're nervous.

[B]

No, don't be nervous, man. Okay? It's just me. I'm just there.

[C]

I got it.

[B]

I'm just. I follow the podcast.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I'm a rock, like you guys say. I haven't called a single time, and I have a Mickey Mouse voice. I don't know if you are okay with that. Oh, yeah. No choice, huh? I'm kind of nerdy, too, so. Oh, don't be nervous.

[C]

No, Nerdy. Nerdy. I.

[B]

Far out of my butthole online.

[A]

Don't be nervous to talk to me.

[C]

Do you want to say anything else, sir?

[B]

Not really.

[C]

You shut down. This is your opportunity, man. She's waiting for you to talk to her.

[A]

Chris, where do you live?

[B]

Far away from here. I'm not close.

[C]

He lives in Albany.

[B]

I'm in Albany. Well, I live in Albany, New York. New York.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Cool. Decent. What you want to talk about?

[C]

You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna teach him how to talk to ladies. Yeah. Hey, we're gonna call you back in a couple of weeks, okay? We'll set it up. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So have a safe flight. Paige, thank you so much for picking up.

[B]

Hey, thank you, guys for calling.

[C]

I love you, Shout Out Bad Friends. I love your guys podcast.

[A]

We love you.

[C]

Love you, too. Bye.

[A]

Love you. Love, Santino. Love you, babe. Bye.

[C]

Chris.

[A]

Chris.

[B]

Chris.

[A]

Chris.

[C]

You dropped the ball.

[A]

Dropped the ball.

[C]

You fucking failed.

[B]

He wasn't meant to.

[C]

Oh, no, you didn't. What happened?

[B]

You.

[C]

You clammed up. You shut down.

[A]

Shut down.

[B]

I. I don't. Like you said, I don't know how to talk to.

[A]

Yes, you do.

[C]

Yes, you do. You. You don't talk to us.

[A]

You have this brooding confidence. You on me for 25 minutes.

[B]

Straight.

[A]

And then you can't even close when.

[B]

It comes to friendship. I. I can do that, but.

[A]

Oh, we're friends. Oh, we're friends. You dumped on me the whole show.

[B]

We are bad friends.

[A]

We are bad friends.

[B]

He's the name of the. Oh my.

[A]

He's got to stick around for a while. I do. I. I do think. You blew that.

[C]

You blew it.

[A]

He blew that.

[C]

Yeah. You shut down.

[A]

Yeah. It was bad.

[C]

Yeah. What happened?

[B]

I dropped the ball.

[A]

Bobby, did you ever.

[B]

I. I know. I know what it is. It's because I don't have a cover here.

[C]

You're a good looking guy.

[B]

You're tall, decent. Yeah, I'm not good looking. I'm.

[C]

You're tall. Yeah.

[B]

You're 511 tall.

[C]

Yeah, he's decent. Well, you look like a young F. Murray Abraham. You know, I got.

[A]

Are you wearing a. Is that shirt a decision? Is that.

[C]

That?

[A]

It is.

[B]

Oh, I forgot to show you guys. I'm not going to break it because he's wearing. They told me not to. To do it.

[A]

He's wearing one of Fancy's favorite shirt. Is that fancy shirt we gave him.

[C]

George has one.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

But I have a one piece T shirt. It's like my Superman. When I rip it, I get superpowers.

[A]

And the pussy's dried up all across the land.

[B]

That's why.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, but that shirt looks good. That is a. How do you say it? Say it how Fancy says it. The shirt. The name of the shirt. The brand.

[B]

Unicolo.

[A]

No. Isn't that disease you all one this? That's desihual. That's what he calls it, right?

[C]

That's the brand.

[A]

He says clothing. Yeah, they only make.

[B]

They. This they see right there.

[C]

What are you doing?

[A]

That's what I said seven times. That's what he calls it. We call it. We call it desidual.

[B]

So the thing with Paige is not happening anymore.

[A]

No, that's.

[B]

I can only say when she's not. I'm kind of like, well, she's gonna watch this.

[A]

So why don't you pitch into that camera? Pitch. Pitch Paige for a round two. Maybe you can earn something with her in this. Right?

[B]

Paige, if you are watching this, I'm kind of a nerdy guy. You mentioned that you like nerdy nerdy guys. And do I have to say more than that?

[A]

Very good. I think that should close the deal.

[C]

I think you should say more. What do you. What can you offer in a relationship?

[B]

She was looking.

[C]

What could you offer in a relationship? Go ahead.

[B]

Guys, honestly, I don't think I can offer too much.

[A]

You have a good job, you have a great family. You're good looking guy.

[B]

That's not decent looking.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, but she. She can still. If she's interested, she can. These guys has my phone number in my Gmail. Okay. Yeah, just let me just send a message.

[A]

I don't.

[C]

I. I think. I don't want to put her in harm's way.

[B]

I'm a cool guy. I can say that.

[C]

I mean, you should have pitched that. You know, you shouldn't say I can't offer anything. That's what you said. I can't offer anything.

[A]

You want to round to it? Go ahead.

[B]

We're still holding.

[C]

Yeah. Round three, Go ahead.

[B]

I'm a rock. I'm a cool guy. Kind of nerdy. I'm a. I'm a cool guy. Did I say that?

[C]

You hard. You hard.

[B]

I don't think I could go past you.

[C]

Saw? Soft.

[B]

You soft. I don't think I can go past 30 seconds. Is she okay with that?

[A]

Ask. I know you say they call their fans rock.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, that's awesome. And you said I'm a rock.

[B]

Yeah, because I'm a. I'm a fan.

[C]

You mean cut out the 32nd. The 32nd. Cut out. That. Cut that out?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean.

[A]

No, leave it in.

[B]

I think. I think I can do better in round. Round two.

[C]

Oh, so you do a nut fast and then the second round, you can last a minute.

[B]

But don't blame me. Don't blame me if it goes the same way.

[C]

Okay. Wow.

[B]

I need. I need practice.

[A]

How's this episode been for you?

[B]

I don't think the hand is good enough to practice.

[A]

You want other women to warm up to Paige? You need another girl to warm up to Paige.

[B]

No, no, I'm. I'm talking about myself.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, Carlos is going to search for an escort in Albany right now.

[C]

Yeah, they're not expensive, but.

[B]

No, it's not pretty. I feel.

[C]

Look at the Asian one right there. The number one.

[B]

I. I don't think, like X code.

[C]

She's black.

[B]

Because I. I need. I need to have that connection.

[A]

You're right.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Right. You want to fall in love.

[B]

I. I want the. You know, the connection of knowing the other person.

[A]

Right. That's great.

[B]

But she doesn't know about me, though.

[A]

Well, she's got to get to know you. And you're a get to know guy.

[B]

We can eat. We can go eat sushi on a date. Okay, I. I can tell her about some animus.

[C]

Yeah, I think that's that. Yeah, I. I think you know what I mean. Yeah.

[B]

She says that she's half Asian, so.

[C]

Yeah, you dropped the ball.

[B]

It's on her bl.

[C]

Yeah, I think it's a dead. I think it's dead.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Can we go? What about Ethan?

[C]

We're not.

[B]

We can't just call celebrities.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's not celebrities.

[C]

What do you. I mean, if I call Ethan, what would you say? Because I'm a little nervous because this.

[A]

Not. Let him do it. You might as well.

[B]

I can talk to Ethan because he's. He's a guy.

[C]

But what are you going to ask him? Because I don't want to call him and then have you, like.

[B]

I. I already know that Olivia is not on the show at the moment because of stuff going on right now.

[C]

I'm afraid to call him. Check Hollow.

[A]

I think you should.

[B]

Okay, I will just tell him that I love the podcast. It's my number two. Number two.

[C]

Hello, Ethan, it's Bobby. Yeah, how are you? You're on the Bad Friends podcast right now. I just want to let you know. Okay, great. How's everybody doing? We're doing great. We have a super fan here, and he wants to talk to you, if that's okay. I'm.

[B]

I'm. I'm. I'm expecting something odd.

[C]

Let's hear. No, there's not gonna be anything odd. It's. No, he's odd. He's odd for sure.

[B]

Okay, so I'm not hot.

[C]

Yeah, you're gonna. You're gonna talk to him for a sec. He's had some questions to ask you.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, go ahead.

[B]

I'll hold it for you. Ethan, I'm a big fan of. I'm a big fan of the podcast I've been watching since the Babe Nation days. Big, super big fan. And I. I just want to tell you that I. I love the. The show. I don't miss a single episode.

[C]

Get to the point.

[B]

You. You can. You can talk now.

[C]

No, get to the point.

[B]

That's very sweet.

[C]

I really appreciate that. Who are you?

[B]

I'm just. Just a random guy.

[C]

No, no, just say your name.

[A]

Man.

[C]

What?

[B]

The man. Why are you.

[C]

Why are you in their studio?

[B]

I got. I got lucky.

[A]

Tell them your nickname.

[B]

They call me.

[A]

Go ahead. Go ahead.

[C]

I'm listening.

[B]

They call me the. He called me the Big C because my name is Christopher. Okay, very interesting. I'm just calling because, you know, I. I think I like Olivia a lot.

[C]

You said you weren't gonna mention her.

[B]

Go ahead.

[C]

You see?

[A]

So.

[B]

So are you a.

[C]

Okay. So you're a fan and you like Olivia?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. You said you think, like, do you want. What? Do you want me to.

[B]

That's great.

[C]

I mean, you know, it's okay. It's okay to like her.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for you.

[B]

Yeah, Lots of people like her. I like her, too.

[C]

She's super nice.

[B]

Can I take her on a date?

[C]

It didn't work out the way. It didn't work out the way I thought. It got really uncomfortable.

[B]

I'm like.

[C]

Okay, listen, hold on.

[A]

Stop. Hold on.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Percy, wait.

[C]

Hold on. Tell Big C. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that.

[B]

That.

[C]

I'm gonna do everything in my power. Yeah. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Thanks for picking up. I wouldn't. I want to see you soon. I love you. I miss you. And thank you so much for picking up and watch the H3 podcast. It's one of the best podcasts in the world. Okay. Thank you. All right. Thank you. Bye, Ethan. I love you.

[B]

Andrew, you're there.

[A]

Yeah, buddy.

[C]

How are you?

[B]

Nice to hear from you.

[A]

Great to hear from you. I know. It's. I'm a little. Today was weird.

[C]

Yeah, today's.

[A]

Today has been weird on the show, and. And Big C is here, and I. I don't know if this was a good idea or a bad idea for him to call to talk about Olivia, but he is very excited.

[B]

I'm not. I'm actually interested in.

[C]

He's a nerd.

[A]

He's a sweet guy.

[C]

Sweet guy. Just to be clear, you haven't, like.

[B]

Googled her address or anything, right?

[C]

No, no, no, no, no, no. All right, well, I don't know.

[B]

I mean, it sounds kind of, like, serious.

[C]

I know, I know, I know. That's why I got uncomfortable. So, what, do I need to call the police? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'll. We'll take care of it on our end. I apologize for bothering you. Thank you for picking up. We love you so much. And bye. Bye. Bye.

[B]

Bye, buddy.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

I keep dropping balls.

[C]

We're not calling. I'm not calling anybody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not working out. It got uncomfortable quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you think?

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah, I think I ran out of auctions. Those are the two of the ones that I like, so.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I don't know. I don't know either.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. We created a monster.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

But now I'm. I'm out there now, so.

[A]

Yeah, you're out there.

[B]

Thank. Thank you both for. For the opportunity.

[C]

Okay. Can you look in the camera and say thank you for being a bad friend?

[B]

Thank you for being a bad friend. Was I looking at the camera?

[C]

Who.