Fat King & The Lying Jester

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends Episode - "Fat King & The Lying Jester"

Bad Friends, hosted by Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, delivers a blend of comedic banter, personal anecdotes, and lighthearted discussions. In the episode titled "Fat King & The Lying Jester," the hosts, along with their guest Jules, navigate through various humorous topics, ranging from pranks and pet mishaps to tattoos and pop culture. Below is a detailed summary capturing the essence of their conversations.

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1. Pranks and Their Boundaries

The episode kicks off with a dive into the world of pranks, exploring how far one can go before crossing the line. Bobby and Jules discuss notorious pranks, sharing funny yet edgy stories that highlight the thin line between humor and offense.

Notable Quote:

• Jules: "Prank or die." (16:12)

Bobby recounts a particularly dark prank where someone's dog was fed to guests under the guise of chicken, leading to a tense and uncomfortable situation. This segues into a broader conversation about the ethics of pranking and the importance of understanding others' boundaries.

2. Pets and Unexpected Incidents

The conversation shifts to pet-related mishaps, highlighting the unpredictable nature of animals and the unforeseen challenges pet owners face.

Notable Quote:

• Bobby Lee: "We have to laugh at pain. We have to love it." (08:09)

A primary story involves Brittany Furlong's dog being attacked by a coyote, sparking concern among the hosts. They humorously navigate a phone call with Brittany to ensure the dog's safety, blending genuine worry with their signature comedic style.

3. Tattoos and Self-Expression

Bobby and Jules delve into the topic of tattoos, discussing personal experiences and societal perceptions. They touch upon the pain associated with tattoos, the stigma around certain types, and the cultural significance behind body art.

Notable Quote:

• Jules: "Jesus Christ. Look at that." (28:34)

The hosts compare traditional tattoos to more extreme forms, contemplating the motivations behind choosing specific designs and placements. This leads to a humorous exchange about chest and gum piercings, emphasizing their playful chemistry.

4. Personal Habits and Quirks

Exchanging lighthearted confessions, Bobby and Jules reveal their unique habits and quirks, fostering a sense of camaraderie and relatability.

Notable Quote:

• Bobby Lee: "One of mine is I peel the skin from the bottom of my foot." (25:23)

From Bobby's unconventional foot-peeling habit to Jules' humorous take on picking boogers, the conversation is filled with self-deprecating humor that entertains listeners while showcasing their unabashed personalities.

5. Riddles and Mental Challenges

Introducing an interactive segment, the hosts engage in a playful riddling game, testing each other's problem-solving skills and entertaining the audience with their attempts.

Notable Quote:

• Jules: "Riddle me this. What can kids make, but can never hold it or see it?" (62:07)
• Bobby Lee: "Fart." (62:37)

Bobby grapples with solving riddles posed by Jules, leading to a mix of confusion and comedic responses. Their attempts to answer riddles like "What gets bigger the more you take away?" culminate in laughter and light-hearted teasing.

6. Pop Culture and Media Discussions

The discussion transitions to their favorite TV shows and movies, particularly focusing on Korean dramas and the intricacies of storytelling within them.

Notable Quote:

• Andrew Santino: "I think I have narcolepsy." (50:38)

They explore the plot of the Korean drama Judge from Hell, comparing it humorously to Judge Judy, and debate the portrayal of characters and supernatural elements in media. This segment highlights their diverse interests and ability to connect with a broad audience.

7. Reflections on Relationships and Emotions

Towards the end of the episode, Bobby and Jules reflect on deeper aspects of relationships, emotions, and personal growth, intertwining humor with genuine sentiments.

Notable Quote:

• Jules: "You miss the quiet time." (55:42)

Bobby expresses nostalgia for peaceful moments shared with loved ones, contrasting it with their often chaotic comedic interactions. This balance between humor and heartfelt conversation adds depth to the episode, resonating with listeners on multiple levels.

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Conclusion

In "Fat King & The Lying Jester," Bad Friends showcases the dynamic chemistry between Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, and Jules. Through a mix of pranks, personal stories, cultural commentary, and interactive segments, they create an engaging and entertaining listening experience. Their ability to blend humor with relatable topics ensures that both long-time fans and new listeners find something to enjoy in this episode.

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Timestamp References:

• 16:12: Jules introduces the "Prank or die" concept.
• 08:09: Bobby discusses laughing at pain.
• 28:34: Jules reacts to a tattoo design.
• 25:23: Bobby shares his foot-peeling habit.
• 62:07: Jules presents a riddle about what kids make.
• 62:37: Bobby answers "Fart" to the riddle.
• 50:38: Andrew mentions suspected narcolepsy.
• 55:42: Jules talks about missing quiet time.

Note: The timestamps correspond to moments within the transcript where notable quotes were made.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

You have one new voicemail. Hi.

[Andrew Santino]

So you would be so proud of me. I'm hosting Thanksgiving for my friends, and I was stressed because I really wanted it to feel just like Michigan. But then I found the same stuffing mix that you use on Instacart, and I ordered instant gravy, canned cranberry. What else? Oh, I got everyone a little butter sculpture shaped like a turkey. All right, I should probably get cooking, but I miss you today. Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. Oh, and you should download Instacart. It's way easier than sending dad to the store. Download Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, everybody. We're doing a Bad Friends live show. It's called Scary Times usa.

[Jules]

Scary Time usa. And how do you. How do you watch it? Go to Moment Co Bad friends. It's Thursday, October 24th at 6pm we're gonna have exclusive merch available for it. So Bad friends. Scary Time USA. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

America, dude. Yeah.

[Jules]

Live Stream 24.

[Bobby Lee]

That's 6pm PST.

[Jules]

We're live streaming it, so join us. Moment Co Bad Friends. We'll also be hosting an interactive VIP after party after the show, and active Patreon members can join the VIP afterparty for free.

[Bobby Lee]

Scary Times usa. You two are Bad Friends.

[Jules]

Who are these two idiots?

[Andrew Santino]

White dude and an Asian dude.

[Bobby Lee]

You two are disgusting. You two are something.

[Andrew Santino]

We're bad Friends.

[Jules]

Let me do the horn, will you?

[Bobby Lee]

But I learned about. I tell you what. You know, how many. Okay, let me ask you. How many jazz musicians?

[Jules]

Can you name every single one?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, give me 10.

[Jules]

Coltrane.

[Bobby Lee]

What's his first name?

[Jules]

John.

[Bobby Lee]

That's very. Dude, this guy. Dude.

[Jules]

Thanks.

[Bobby Lee]

He knows everything. Keep going, dude.

[Jules]

Miles Davis.

[Bobby Lee]

Good.

[Jules]

Muddy Waters.

[Bobby Lee]

He's not in that. Muddy Waters is blues. He's not jazz. Yeah, he's not in it.

[Jules]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I refused to let him in.

[Jules]

Dizzy Gillespie, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

That was a good one, dude.

[Jules]

Thank you, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

That's deep Cut, dude. Dizzy Gillespie. Go ahead, dude.

[Jules]

Dizzy Gillespie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Etta Fitzgerald. Ella Fitzgerald, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

Deep Cut. No, not really. Pretty mainstream. Go ahead.

[Jules]

Mike Martinville.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no Mike Martin.

[Jules]

He used to be an insurance salesman.

[Bobby Lee]

There is no Mike Martinville. Hi, I'm Mike Martin. Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Jules]

Maybe you don't remember him.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, y. Yeah. Avant garde. Yeah, Avant garde. Avant garde. Is there a Mike? Myron, go. I don't think so.

[Jules]

That's him right there.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, there he is right there. Oh, Mike Martin. Okay. He went to Vail.

[Jules]

It's Martin Vale. No, it Was hyphenated. He got married. He took her name. Super progressive for the 60s. What did you learn on this doc though? Ken Burns taught you what about jazz? What did you take away from it?

[Bobby Lee]

It sucks. It really legitimately sucks.

[Jules]

No, jazz is great.

[Bobby Lee]

It's terrible. But here's what I learned also. What I learned about it is, man, it's terrible. And also, I mean, because I wanted to go through. I went through the whole thing and I was like, maybe this from 1935 to 1940, maybe I'll like get it, get into it, right? But I never did it.

[Jules]

Never. It never took.

[Bobby Lee]

Except the only one that I really like is Billie Holiday because she's so depressing, right. In my solitude. And I was like, kill yourself, why don't you? It's so depressing. You think she's like a heroin.

[Jules]

But you don't say the same thing about rock music that does sad, depressing stuff. Why? You just don't like the physical music.

[Bobby Lee]

I like her. Sarah Vaughn's okay. But I just got. Went through the whole thing and it's like I just asked myself, why?

[Jules]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

Well, it touches people in a certain way.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you know Louie Goddamn, man, I know. What a guy died in 1971 and Duke Ellington died in 1974. I just memorized. I memorized.

[Jules]

You just know when they die.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I just kind of memorized random things, you know, in my mind. You know what I mean? So he died in 74 and pretty good, you know, modern day guy is a guy named Wynton Marcellus.

[Jules]

Oh yeah, I've seen him on Kill Tony.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh no, he's good.

[Jules]

Yeah, no, he's that guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, he is pretty good. Dude. Look at him.

[Jules]

He. His style is great.

[Bobby Lee]

And then he had a brother named Brandon or Brandon Marcellus. Marcellus Wallace. Oh, from Pulp Fiction. Marcellus Wallace is good.

[Jules]

Yeah, I heard it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Very funny joke.

[Jules]

Did not.

[Bobby Lee]

And that bandit in his neck, that's where the. He puts the trombone.

[Jules]

He can blow from the back of.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, he's a dolphin, you know, he's it. Yeah. Blackout dolphin, dude, you didn't know that?

[Jules]

Yeah, I almost watched Pulp Fiction last night. We're at the house that we stayed in, had a little movie theater and instead we watched. There was a vote on what to watch and my vote didn't win, but I really thought it was going.

[Bobby Lee]

What do they want to watch?

[Jules]

One guy wanted Terminator, another guy wanted Pulp Fiction. Another guy wanted Wolf of Wall street. And I wanted Wayne's World. But Wolf of Wall street won.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course it did.

[Jules]

Wayne's World is so funny. It's a great.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a great one.

[Jules]

It, Front to Back is one of the funniest movies. It's a mount of lines. But, yes, I wanted something uplifting. Wolf is actually super funny. It's just. I wanted wackadoo funny, right? But we were. Dude, I forgot how funny Wolf was.

[Bobby Lee]

It's pretty.

[Jules]

I forgot. The scene with McConaughey is so unbelievably funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

When he's doing rooted tutors.

[Bobby Lee]

When he's so mad at me right now. Dude, I never saw the mo.

[Jules]

You've never seen Wolf of Wall Street?

[Bobby Lee]

I refuse. Why? I don't like wolves. I really don't. I don't like wolves. I don't like that creature. You know, I like dogs. You know, I mean, but I watch Dogs of Wall Street.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That'd be fun, right? Little poodle.

[Jules]

I mean, just a boardroom of dogs barking. Yeah, I'd watch that.

[Bobby Lee]

NASDAQ or whatever. You know, they're. They're in the Wall street whatever, you know.

[Jules]

What do you do? What is that?

[Bobby Lee]

Do you hear about this, how Brittany Furlong's dog got attacked by a coyote and it's all over the news today?

[Jules]

What do you mean, got attacked? Like, in their house? Oh, my God. In their house?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Whoa. It's got in its mouth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, right there.

[Jules]

That's wild.

[Bobby Lee]

And then what happened? Is the dog alive?

[Jules]

It died, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

We can't leave the dogs out.

[Jules]

She says they're safe. Yeah, Nina was sick.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta call her. I gotta. Don't. Should I call her?

[Jules]

Can we play that song while she answers the phone?

[Bobby Lee]

She's not gonna pick up from me.

[Jules]

I'm gonna play who Let the Dogs Out?

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, wait. Before. Dude, but let me get her hold of her first and then play it.

[Jules]

Hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, let me get her. Try to get her. I would. Yeah, before.

[Jules]

Before.

[Bobby Lee]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Jules]

Is she gonna be mad? This is mean. Is this mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Is this mean?

[Jules]

No, the dog's alive.

[Bobby Lee]

The dog's alive. It's very funny, though. Please pick up, Britney. Please pick up.

[Jules]

Wait, is she still there?

[Bobby Lee]

Hello?

[Jules]

Britney, we love you. We're just calling to make sure everything is okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I. Well, hold on. That's amazing.

[Jules]

Well, who did let him out, though? Yeah, you know, that's so scary and sad, though.

[Andrew Santino]

What happened?

[Jules]

Eat your pizza, fat ass.

[Bobby Lee]

Telephone number.

[Jules]

What did you get for the Prince Street? Oh, it's so good that's my favorite.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Brittany Furlong. Brittany Furlong. She picked. Call me back. Get the.

[Jules]

Hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello?

[Jules]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

You're the devil. What? What do you mean?

[Jules]

We love you.

[Bobby Lee]

We love you so much.

[Jules]

We just wanted to make sure the dog was okay. Yeah, she's good. Good.

[Bobby Lee]

Psycho.

[Jules]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but we just saw the video. We didn't know about it, and it must have. Because we have dogs. It must have been a town. So sorry.

[Jules]

I'm so sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

It was awful.

[Jules]

But we have to laugh at pain. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We have to love it. Pain. And the dog didn't die?

[Jules]

No, I pulled her out of its mouth. Is she injured?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Look at it. Oh, my God, look at it. Oh, it's so bad. I'm so sorry. She's. She's like. I'm gonna take her to the vet. She doesn't have any, like, puncture wounds.

[Andrew Santino]

Or anything, but when I touch her.

[Jules]

She'S starting to cry, so I think she might have something going on, but. I'm sorry. We're sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

We' Can I ask you, what are you wearing while you're out there in a robe? A bathrobe. Oh, I thought you were like. You're not doing yoga or anything. No, I was just about to get in the shower. Oh, I see. Just like.

[Jules]

It was fucking terrible, dude. I'm sorry. We're sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

We're so sorry. Where's Tommy during this? Playing drums. Yeah, no, he was on a zoom in the living room. Okay, well, tell him we said hi. We love you so much. You're on Bad Friends. Okay. Wait, wait. What's your podcast called with Britney? This is the worst. This is the worst. Check their podcast out.

[Jules]

Yeah, we. And we did. We are. We. We wanted to send you love. We were initially called to say we. We're happy the dog's okay. But I just. I had. I had. We had to play the song just to show you some love.

[Bobby Lee]

You're. You guys are literally Satan. Okay, I love you. Bye.

[Jules]

The dog's alive.

[Bobby Lee]

It's alive, Rudy.

[Jules]

How. You know what I mean? Yeah, but who let the dogs out? This is. This is a big nightmare for me. This is nightmare fuel for Los. Honestly, every time. So at now. At night.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

This is during the day, which is even more insane. But they live in the hills.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Where there's way more coyotes. By you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

So down by us. They sometimes get around the neighborhood. But at night now I walk with the dog in my arm, put her down to pee and pick her right Back up. I used to let her out, but now I don't let her out anymore. Yeah, cuz neighbors have complained about coyotes everywhere. Isn't a cannibalistic dick a coyote eating a dog?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, they're the same species. It's like me eating a monkey.

[Jules]

We had monkey last week.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. It was a really good monkey. A spider monkey. It's so good. It's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're fun to catch.

[Jules]

They are.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, you gotta climb the tree, Right? They make that noise, you know, and they hate it. But my point is, is, dude, I just saw a video. Did you ever see. Did I send you this? Oh my God. I saw a video of a man eating a monkey. It was terrifying.

[Jules]

Pull it up on TikTok.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw like a man cooking a turtle.

[Jules]

I've said it once, I'll say it again.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Jules]

It's the greatest app ever created.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

You can see a man eating a turtle.

[Bobby Lee]

I got it. I got it. I got the monkey one. Want to see it?

[Jules]

We'll send it to Carlos so you can play it for us.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so send us to in the meantime.

[Jules]

Jules.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah?

[Jules]

What's going on? Take a bite of that pizza. I know. That's so good, isn't it? It's one of my favorite favorite.

[Andrew Santino]

The naughty pie.

[Jules]

Naughty pie is my favorite by far. It's not even close.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the best.

[Jules]

It's not even close. They're contending with someone. Oh, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa, dude.

[Jules]

Snacking on some monk.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The spine. That's where the meat is. The spine. It's insane.

[Jules]

Dude, as he's eating him, he's like, I miss you, George.

[Bobby Lee]

That was Curious George.

[Jules]

Curious George.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

There he was.

[Bobby Lee]

He got too Curious George.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to add my. My aunt in the Philippines, she had a dog. And then the dog escape went missing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there was like, like after a week, there was a party. Like her birthday party or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop, stop. Over there. I love it.

[Jules]

I think I know where this is going.

[Bobby Lee]

I, I. Can we guess or no?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so dog's missing. Yeah. Then now there's a party. Okay, what kind of party? Who's is it? A birthday party?

[Andrew Santino]

I think it was hers. I don't remember. But there was a party.

[Bobby Lee]

There was a party and people were just. Party. Right? Pom pom, right? Oh, boy, I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Hungry, hungry, hungry. Oh, did you get jollibee? Who got Jollibee?

[Jules]

Anybody?

[Bobby Lee]

No, Nobody got jollibee. Oh, fuck. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And then what happens?

[Andrew Santino]

And then her father said, like, oh, try this.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, okay. What's his name? The father.

[Jules]

I know when someone says, try this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, try this.

[Bobby Lee]

In the middle of the party, he has to yell it because there's a lot of party.

[Jules]

Everyone try this. Try this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Music stops. DJ stops, Right? And then they look at the dad and do they go, what is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. She asked like, what is it? And then he just said, chicken. It's just chicken.

[Jules]

Just chicken. Just chicken.

[Bobby Lee]

Out of nowhere. Chicken.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Just out of the blue, chicken.

[Jules]

So she ate it.

[Bobby Lee]

Where did you. Where'd you get the chicken?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. But he. She ate it and she said, oh, it's really good.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. And then.

[Andrew Santino]

And then the father laughed and said, oh, it's your dog.

[Jules]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Which is the oldest prank in the.

[Jules]

Oldest trick in the book.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the oldest prank in the book. It's really a fun. It's a fun prank.

[Jules]

People think it tastes like a cross between beef and mutton. Very.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Jules]

Terrible. Would you be mad if you ate my fucking dog?

[Bobby Lee]

But in that context.

[Jules]

Oh, someone fed me my dog.

[Bobby Lee]

You're having a party. Yeah, Right. I come in. Yeah, hey, eat this, right?

[Jules]

And it's my dog.

[Bobby Lee]

And then you ask me, yeah, what is it?

[Jules]

What is this?

[Bobby Lee]

Chicken? Oh, it's fucking chicken, dude.

[Jules]

It's dark.

[Bobby Lee]

Eat it now.

[Jules]

I'm delicious.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And I got. Ha ha, ha. Me and Carl. Carlos, are you there? Yeah. You have to help.

[Jules]

Who else helped do it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Blood on my shirt. Yeah. Would you help? No, McConaughey wouldn't help.

[Jules]

Well, what did you do? Did you crock pot? It. You put in the oven. I want to know how you made it.

[Bobby Lee]

We boiled it.

[Jules]

You boiled it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

Terrible.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then you ate it. And then I go, it's your dog. Let me. Tell me the consequences. Now.

[Jules]

I'll tell you this. The direct steps of action. I walk in the kitchen, grab a knife, sing, and I stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. I stab you to death, and then I serve you at your own funeral.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's really pretty good. Yeah, that's. You know, it was a prank, dude. A little too far. It was a prank. See, some people can't take pranks.

[Jules]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, it's like. You know that sometimes, you know that tree prank where people are like, a tree are. What are bush? And they scare people and people Walk by and people, you. Their general reaction is, you got me. Right? But sometimes you'll see a guy kick him. Yeah, right? And like, oh, you can't take it. That's.

[Jules]

You kick the tree guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're the kick the tree guy.

[Jules]

There's one clip on the Internet. That tree guy jumps out at a handicapped girl and he feels terrible. He scares her. She starts crying.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's see it.

[Jules]

It's awful.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it.

[Jules]

This is awful. It was on Tik.

[Bobby Lee]

Did I hear you?

[Jules]

What an asshole. See, now, this is why guys like me kick the Bushman. Because you do that to a handicapped girl and you ruin her day. And how do you feel now, pal? How do you feel now, pal?

[Bobby Lee]

He wants to watch it again. Can we play to the end, though? Where's the feeling bad part? Does he come out?

[Andrew Santino]

Is she okay?

[Jules]

No, she's not okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I tried to scare you, man.

[Jules]

Is she okay? Is she all right? Sorry about that. No problem. That's just gonna ruin that guy's day.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I throw something out there? I don't know. It's not that popular. Something popular idea, but yeah, forget it.

[Jules]

Go ahead. I just. No, go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to give it a.

[Jules]

Let's give it a go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Process of elimination.

[Jules]

You think this is Darwinism?

[Bobby Lee]

I just, you know, survive. I don't know.

[Jules]

Survival of the. Of the. Take the joke is the best. Okay. Got it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

If you can't take a prank, you don't deserve to live.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not what I was saying.

[Jules]

Prank or die.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not what I was saying.

[Jules]

Welcome back to Prank or Dad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Anyway. Wow. That's incredible.

[Jules]

I don't like the Bushman prank. You know what I do like, though, even as a golfer? I like the guys that go to the public course and the guy, they honk of their air horns with. The guys around the tee box, they get so mad and I think it's so funny. And they freak the out, these guys. And they'll do this in la. They go to these golf courses and they hide. They hide. They hide behind, like, a wall of trees. And then as soon as the guys are swinging. Watch this.

[Bobby Lee]

I've always wanted those. One of those outfits.

[Jules]

Me too.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we. Can you get me one of those guys? Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

He himself, the real flagrant ones. The guys will be standing there.

[Bobby Lee]

They'll just stand for a second. Can you push for a second? Would that bother you?

[Jules]

It would shock me the first time. Then I would realize someone's obviously with me?

[Bobby Lee]

Would it bother you?

[Jules]

A little bit, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think a little.

[Jules]

No, but then I would know it's a prank and you get over it at some point. No, that's the top one.

[Bobby Lee]

They do it the whole first. Like the whole game.

[Jules]

Oh, yeah. Drive me nuts. Well, they're not there the whole time. Oh, by the way, the Asian. The guy that picked us up today. The driver that picked us up from the airport.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he.

[Jules]

He. Dude, that's why I love Asians. I love Asians.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, good.

[Jules]

This is seriously, you know, you're my favorite people on earth. He's an Uber driver. He was in the non Uber lane. He was in the. The lane he's not supposed to pick people up in. Cop comes over, starts yelling at him, pretends he doesn't speak English. He was like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. And the guy's like, what don't you understand? I'm calling the cops. And he's like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. Then we get in the car, he's like, sorry about all that.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the best, genius. It's the best.

[Jules]

And what? Because otherwise if the guy says anything, he's racist.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

You being racist to the guy. He's just an Uber driver. Doesn't speak English. Perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

I wish I could still do that.

[Jules]

You can. You can get away with it.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't because sometimes people know who I am. So you never know, I guess. But back in the day, you do it all the time.

[Jules]

All the time.

[Bobby Lee]

Like during Virginia Attack. What do you think I did?

[Jules]

Mino?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Korean. I. Chinese. Right? You could do that.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Not anymore. You're too famous. You're too famous.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Jules]

Yeah, I get asked about. People ask about you so much now, it's like they love you, dude. Really? Pissing me off.

[Bobby Lee]

I was telling you that yesterday, dude, they love you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's nice.

[Jules]

It is nice. It is nice, isn't it?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Eat your pizza. I want to know what's going on in your world. For real, though. Take a bite.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Jules]

Take a bite. What is this?

[Bobby Lee]

I saw her.

[Jules]

This is fantastic. This is fantastic. I too, love Chinese food. I, too, love.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you do. I know you too.

[Jules]

You know, I too, I. I too love Chinese food.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but you know, five years, where she's going to be.

[Jules]

Where there's.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a fetish. Oh, yeah. In five years, dude, she can be living in Thailand, dude.

[Jules]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

If you have long fingernail all painted pink, hot pink.

[Jules]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? She's gonna have a weird surgery.

[Jules]

She is?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

You think this girl. That's the path she's taking.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. She's gonna have a boyfriend that has a moped, for sure. Get down. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Right. And this is a. This is a.

[Jules]

This is a fetish. Intro to fetish.

[Bobby Lee]

It's also a dark path just leading.

[Jules]

Really.

[Bobby Lee]

We have to stop it now.

[Jules]

We have to cut this off. No, I think you gotta let her run.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you do?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Jules]

Well, you like white girls. Why can't other. Why can't Chinese guys have white girls?

[Bobby Lee]

That's.

[Jules]

So. You're blocking Chinese from getting white girls.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. Yeah.

[Jules]

You only like it if it was.

[Bobby Lee]

I like Korean food. Well, that'd be better.

[Jules]

There is not. That song doesn't exist.

[Bobby Lee]

It doesn't? Yeah.

[Jules]

Alice in Gold.

[Bobby Lee]

Allison Gold. It's a deep. Okay.

[Jules]

Well, it's from a long time ago.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Billboard Hot 100 Singles. What the. It entered the Billboard Hot 100 Singles.

[Jules]

Dude, click on her profile. Where is she now?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, where is she now? I bet you she's in Thailand.

[Jules]

She released another single. It did not chart. It was just the Alphabet. A portion of it.

[Bobby Lee]

God. Wow.

[Jules]

She does know that someone already captivated that market, you know?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Abcdefg.

[Jules]

The guy that wrote that. Abcdefg. Hhk. Elemental. P, Q, R, S, tv, wxyz. Billionaire.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Jules]

Billionaire.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't even know if I know the song anymore.

[Jules]

A, B, C, D, E. There's another.

[Andrew Santino]

Song about abcdfg, too.

[Jules]

What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

A, B, C, D, E, F you and your mom and your sister.

[Jules]

Ok. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude, I don't like that kind.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like that. It's too aggressive.

[Jules]

I don't like that kind of stuff. Yeah, F you and your mom and your sister.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Jules]

What about your brother and your dad?

[Andrew Santino]

I think she also says that.

[Jules]

Yeah. She got to get the whole family.

[Bobby Lee]

What's that? That I don't like. It's the video.

[Jules]

That's the music video.

[Bobby Lee]

For what?

[Jules]

Hey.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Jules]

You were wrong about the fetish.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah? Well, I wasn't wrong. It went. It went darker than I thought. Right. Yeah. Now I know what happened.

[Jules]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

It was like Asians were her, like, you know. Cigarette. Right, Right.

[Jules]

Intro.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. You know, she's like 14, you know? Yeah. I like Chinese food. Right. And that's at 16. Right. She's wearing a sombrero. Auto blow AI ultra, y'all. I brought home an Auto Blow and I haven't left the house in eight days. Okay? Auto Blow AI Ultra is the world's best blowjob machine, okay? I mean, the old way of doing things, it's over, man. The old way of doing it is moving your arm up and down over and over again. You know what I mean? As if you're like Von clap Jam Van Jams, right? But it's boring. Auto Blow AI Ultra not only moves the stroker for you, oh my God. It does do it for you for sure. But it syncs up with a free included video library with 500 movies synced so that you don't feel like what you. So you can feel like what you do on screen, you know? Basically what I'm trying to say is that the machine does what the screen is doing and it connects and then there's like stuff that happens. Easy with wi fi connection to access free video sync features. It's like your own personal synced pornhub. It even sticks with VR videos, man. Boy does it. Special free downloadable stroking modes for men with short penises. Not for me. That's not for me. I use the long one special series of sleeves for men with very large penises. That's the one I used the spec. That's the special series. Go to autoblow.com and use code BAD FRIENDS to save 15% off of any machine. I'm telling you, it's you're going to get a divorce. Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.

[Jules]

Hey, from the launcher on online shop stage to the first real life store stage all the way to we just had a million orders day. Shopify is there to help you grow.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Jules]

Yeah, we use them and we love them. We use them for a long time to get you guys the merch that you know and love through Bad friends. Plus Shopify's extensive help resources are there to support your success success every step of the way. And they power 10% of all E commerce in the US and Shopify is the global force behind all birds, Rothies, Brooklyn and millions of Entrepreneurs of every size across 175 countries.

[Bobby Lee]

Because business that grow grow with Shopify.

[Jules]

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[Bobby Lee]

Shopify.com Bad friends fume f u m.

[Jules]

With the two dots above the U. I love the.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I love it, you guys. So I just, I got a fume and I've been doing so around the house. Right. Sometimes I like to, you know, I need something in my hand.

[Jules]

Yeah, you like something I like.

[Bobby Lee]

You're right. And I like. You have an oral fixation of an oral fixation. Right?

[Jules]

You do.

[Bobby Lee]

And Fume has these flavored and they have a wide variety of flavors. Flavored air and it's flavored air and it's really fun.

[Jules]

Yeah. Fume is an award winning flavored air device. It. It isn't like vaping if vapor was compared to sticky soda. Fume cores are closer to herbal teas. Right? That's kind of the. That's the way to look at them. Lots of delicious flavor to choose from.

[Bobby Lee]

We all have bad habits too, right?

[Jules]

Well, yeah, sure.

[Bobby Lee]

One of mine is I peel the skin from the bottom of my foot.

[Jules]

Oh, you really do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

And you eat your boogers.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jules]

Anyway, Fume draws flavor to your mouth. It's not a vape. You can use it anywhere. There's no nicotine. It's not addictive, non toxic flavors. And it's a guilt free alternative. It looks awesome and the weight is beautiful. The design is actually really great too.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It also comes with a little stand. It's like magnetized and you can sit there on a table and it kind of. It's cool. It's futuristic looking.

[Jules]

It is very futuristic. But it doesn't have to be in the future. It's right now. Fuma served over 300,000 customers and you can be the next success story. For a limited time. Use our code Bad friends to get a free gift with your journey. Pack head to try Fume. T r y f u m com. That's trifum t r y f u m.com and use the code Bad friends or scan the QR code on the screen to get a free gift with your order today.

[Andrew Santino]

Is Asian fetish really bad? Like what if they really like love the person?

[Jules]

That's impossible to like Asians that much. It's incredible. It's impossible to like Asians that much.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I Mean, that's not true. To say that it's impossible to love Asians that much is not a truth. It's the most insane thing I've even.

[Jules]

Of course you're kidding. No. What do you mean? Is it. Is it bad to do to fetishize?

[Andrew Santino]

Like they have an Asian fetish, but once they meet up and, like, get together, they actually love the person?

[Jules]

Of course you're. Well, fetish.

[Andrew Santino]

They just like. They just also just like the Asian.

[Jules]

But he said, when you say fetish, I think he's saying when you fetishize something, it's almost like you.

[Bobby Lee]

Doesn't make any sense to me.

[Jules]

You don't respect.

[Bobby Lee]

You only like peanuts. Is that right? Analogy. Zoom in and you're eating peanuts.

[Jules]

It's a desire with gratification strongly linked a particular object activity. The part of the body other than the sexual origin organs. So you have a fet. You're fetishizing something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but without the race or whatever that is.

[Jules]

You wouldn't like.

[Bobby Lee]

You wouldn't like them.

[Jules]

Right? So you like that.

[Bobby Lee]

That's. That has to be, you know, a part of it.

[Jules]

Do you have any fetishes?

[Andrew Santino]

Is there a white fetish?

[Jules]

Well, I mean, I feel like numbers don't lie. You know what I mean? We're doing pretty good.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, the girl that you submit yesterday, would you think she was white?

[Andrew Santino]

No, but I'm just saying.

[Bobby Lee]

What was she last yesterday?

[Andrew Santino]

Mexican.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm just saying.

[Jules]

But yes, there's a white fetish. For minorities to like whites. There's, of course, a white fetish. There's. There's minority women that. That have fetishes for white.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a girl that I'm seeing now that her previous last four boyfriends, she's white, have been Asiany.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Either half or full.

[Jules]

This goes. This goes both ways on all sides.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay?

[Jules]

Everyone has a. If that's your flavor. The Kardashians, they only date black guys. Except for the one.

[Bobby Lee]

Which one?

[Jules]

I don't know the name. There's one girl that doesn't play dip. Black guy. She's married to the guy, the. The white guy in the show.

[Andrew Santino]

Courtney.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Travis Barker. I mean, he painted himself enough.

[Jules]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you trying to say?

[Jules]

I got it.

[Bobby Lee]

He has so much tattoos that he's trying to be black or he's not.

[Jules]

Or he's not white anymore. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Jesus.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus Christ. Look at that.

[Jules]

That is. That is legit. Yeah, that's all of them. That's all of them.

[Bobby Lee]

You think that's sexy?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Wow, you're full. You ever go to a tattoo artist, he goes, you're full. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're done. The tattoos on the head thing is mind blowing to me. That would hurt so much.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you never had a tattoo, right?

[Jules]

No, but it doesn't hurt. The head tattoo gotta hurt.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. People go, it's her. It doesn't. Have you had a tattoo? No, it doesn't really hurt that much.

[Jules]

That the head's got to hurt. Look at this.

[Bobby Lee]

The temple, the eyeballs maybe, but not the head. Right.

[Jules]

This temple is so sensitive.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe. Maybe you're right.

[Jules]

I mean, I don't want it. I'm not going to do it. I just can't. I don't. I can't imagine the head. The most sensitive areas are your neck, your vagina, your butthole, the back of your front of your knees, and your feet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

That's why when you see those.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it the tongue?

[Jules]

The Maori. Is it the Maori people that get the. All right, that is in. That is. Must be so painful right here because it goes from your lip to your neckline.

[Bobby Lee]

Do people get them on their gums?

[Jules]

People get them in their mouth all.

[Bobby Lee]

The time on the gums.

[Andrew Santino]

They say they. It doesn't hurt in here? Yeah, it doesn't hurt.

[Jules]

You don't have any tattoos, Are you.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, whoa. Look at that. That looks cool. Dude.

[Jules]

You have a what?

[Andrew Santino]

The black that has the tattoo that looks like you.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? Because I have gingivitis. What are you talking about? Dude?

[Jules]

Do you have.

[Bobby Lee]

What is wrong with you today? I already told you, I had a bad. Oh, some bad things are happening, and then you're like. And then you're just attacking me like that.

[Jules]

He's not attacking you. You do have gingivitis.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Honestly, no.

[Jules]

They're like, brown.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, but is that bad?

[Jules]

They're not black. They're not black. They're Mexican.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but. I know, but have you looked at. No, I'm not being paranoid.

[Jules]

Teeth look totally normal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So you never. Because you never said anything like, hey, dude, you should get that.

[Jules]

Let me see. Smile. You have great teeth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but what the Are you saying.

[Jules]

Then he's just egging you on.

[Bobby Lee]

A joke about that.

[Jules]

I'm sorry. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you ever go to the dentist?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Yes. The guy from Glendale. Whatever. You've seen that guy, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I like him.

[Jules]

How often?

[Bobby Lee]

It's been like eight years.

[Jules]

But yeah, though there's a tooth hanging out right now put it back in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

Be honest with me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Have you flossed ever?

[Bobby Lee]

I flossed lately, yes. Now get it.

[Jules]

Every day.

[Bobby Lee]

I've been trying to. Yeah.

[Jules]

How many days a week, really?

[Bobby Lee]

Because of the beef. Well.

[Jules]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

So in Hawaii, they had that dried beef jerky. They have, like, crispy beef jerky chips.

[Jules]

I love that.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But for some reason, they get lodged in between my teeth and they stay in there for, like, three days.

[Jules]

No, no, no, no, buddy, you gotta floss it out.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but. So one had been. And she. And I was with somebody, and she was like, it smells like that beef jerky. I haven't been jerky in three days.

[Jules]

You're like, I know. Isn't it good?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And then so. And then I realized there was, like, in between my teeth, so I lost him out.

[Jules]

That happens. That's not embarrassing. That happens all the time. Beef jerky in the teeth. That's. That's. That happens to all of us all the time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

You're not alone on this island.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Yeah. You feel better?

[Bobby Lee]

I guess you're right.

[Jules]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I just, you know, you attacked me with that.

[Jules]

Who, me? No. He's attacking the out of you today. What's your. What's your deal? Why are you so uppity and throwing darts at people?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

I just feel good.

[Jules]

You feel.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, is that what it is when you feel good, you like to attack, huh? Yeah.

[Jules]

It's so fun.

[Bobby Lee]

It's never him, though. Have you noticed that? And I'm not complaining. I'm grateful to be here, but I'm just saying I love the show and I love you guys, but it just. I just kind of. I look at it and I go, why him? Why not him?

[Jules]

I mean, talk shit about me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but he never. Not on the show, though. Not around. Yeah.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

When I'm not around you, Andrew, your skin's too pink. Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Because Tito. Tito, Andrew, scarier than you.

[Jules]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's right. So if everyone. Let's get into that. If people don't know about the show, what's your. What are you doing with your face?

[Jules]

I'm just waiting to hear what you have to say.

[Bobby Lee]

Right, so the power dynamics of the show is what? Here we go. Here we go. So the power of the dynamics of the show is Andrew is. Let's suppose that this is a kingdom. Right. That he would be the, you know, the king. The false king. Right. He's like the false king. He's the king, but not like blood. He doesn't have royal blood.

[Jules]

That's a redhead thing.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's not a redhead attack.

[Jules]

Like, I'm not born pure.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Jules]

Like I'm a mutt, but the blood's not pure.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Jules]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And that's not. You're the king. I just gave you the props.

[Jules]

And what are you?

[Bobby Lee]

That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm the king. I have pure blood, dude. Yeah, yeah. But I let you. You mean sit on the throne, right? I let him sit on the throat, and I'm like, kind of like, you know who I am?

[Jules]

Louis the 15th.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Aragorn.

[Jules]

I don't know who that is.

[Bobby Lee]

From Lord of the Rings. He was supposed to be the king, right? Strider. Right. I'm supposed to be king, but I'm out. You know?

[Jules]

I mean, you do have a lot of similarities to kings. Bloated, gout ridden.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but here's the. There we go.

[Jules]

Okay, look up fattest king. Yeah. There you are. Beep, bop, boop.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's in yellow, ironically.

[Jules]

There you are.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jules]

Henry viii. Right? He was a glutton. Isn't. Wasn't Henry VIII like the fattest fucking king of all time? That's. Look at the size of this moose.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Half Asian.

[Bobby Lee]

So, anyway, let's be real. You're the king. You're the real king. No. Here's the power dynamic for the show, okay? Is you are the boss.

[Jules]

Mm.

[Bobby Lee]

So I know it's a 5050 enterprise, but I let you. I don't let you. You make most of the decisions. Am I not right? Let's be honest.

[Jules]

Well, someone has to get up and do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly. And I let you do it.

[Jules]

No, no, I have to do it.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to do it.

[Jules]

I don't do it. It doesn't happen.

[Bobby Lee]

But I also go do it.

[Jules]

No, you never have told me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I go get it.

[Jules]

No. Yeah, you're too lazy to do it.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not. That's not it.

[Jules]

That is true.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm a guy that goes, you know, I mean, I understand, but I'm gonna let him have make the decisions.

[Jules]

That's not true. You don't have. You don't have the knowledge of the wherewithal. In fact, you don't even communicate with your assistant of your own schedule. How could you make decisions if you don't even know how to schedule your own?

[Bobby Lee]

I purposely do that. So I give you the.

[Jules]

No, you do that because you're lazy.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not here. Dude.

[Jules]

Bro, you started. You fucking started all.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I'm not.

[Jules]

Dude, did I start this?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not. I'm.

[Jules]

You fucking started.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not starting anything. I'm just telling you what the par. Dynamics of the show. I want it. I'm letting the people know how the show is run.

[Jules]

They know. They all fucking know.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. I want it. I don't know.

[Jules]

Do you think they think.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I don't know. And I want to know.

[Jules]

You think they think this Slept King is the organizer? They know not.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. They know not to know.

[Jules]

They know not to know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jules]

They know that you are a beautiful entity that needs its beauty rest.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Jules]

And I like to organize.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. So you're the organizer. Right. It is a 50, 50 enterprise. 100%.

[Jules]

What are you laughing on camera?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, what are you saying off camera?

[Jules]

It's not off camera. You don't organize any of this bullshit.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but it's a 50. 50.

[Jules]

Talent wise.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, Talent wise.

[Jules]

Yeah. You're my brother.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? Right. Well, and also.

[Jules]

Okay. 45, 45, 10.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Jules]

She's very talented. She's an important part of the show. And these three guys, take them or leave them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then these guys act as buffoons, puppets. No, these guys act as a very integral part of the organization.

[Jules]

We need them.

[Bobby Lee]

We need them very much. So in terms of my relationship with them, it's. They're pretty much. Aside from Andreas, these two are more handlers for me.

[Jules]

You're the wacky uncle who comes into town.

[Bobby Lee]

So this is what pissed me off today. I'm going to just get into it. Let's get into it. Show it. I'll show it right here, dog. So shoot. Move to 7:30 tonight, he says. But then I emphasized it two hours later because he did exclamation marks, which made me mad. Yeah.

[Jules]

You know, you can't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't do that.

[Jules]

That doesn't make sense because then I.

[Bobby Lee]

Said to you that he already gave me the information. Yeah, I just like. I don't act that, you know, I. I'm in direct contact with him 24 7. Oh, yeah? What about David Spade? I slept through that. I made a mistake. But that has nothing to do with me not knowing. I knew I would get in trouble for that, is what I'm saying. So I wanted to be on top of it. Andrew would get mad at me if you were here at a weird time. Okay.

[Jules]

I don't know why you brought up Spade. That was a bad move.

[Bobby Lee]

It Was it was why? It was evidence because.

[Jules]

Why are you poking the bear?

[Bobby Lee]

You're poking the bear, dude. Because he was really. He was 40. They got mad, she got mad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're poking the bear, dude. I bring that up, bro. What did you do before the shoot? What shoot? You peed on this one. We're on right now. I can't believe. Bro, bro, bro. I can't believe that you are. You're soaked with lies do. You're the lying fucking gesture in this kingdom. You're the lying gesture, dude. And you, dude. Some people you're guillotined in. In the medieval times. You being the guilty. What are you trying to accuse me of peeing on the court jester's coach?

[Jules]

Okay, say what you're claiming.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, what are you claiming? On my Mercedes. That he bought, basically.

[Jules]

He peed on your car?

[Bobby Lee]

That I bought.

[Jules]

Do you have any proof of this?

[Bobby Lee]

I took a video of Andres looking at a puddle. Then we can go lick it and see if it tastes like pee.

[Jules]

Send McCone out there to lick it.

[Bobby Lee]

Go lick.

[Jules]

No, wait a minute. You're claiming that Bobby urinated on your vehicle?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And like where you would pump the gas too. So I have to touch that area now.

[Jules]

Bob, did you pee on his car? Did you.

[Bobby Lee]

You saw me here, right?

[Jules]

I didn't see you pee on his car.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but did you see. Yeah. So you had your eyes on me the whole time.

[Jules]

I've seen you the whole time, right?

[Bobby Lee]

You were.

[Jules]

You smoked a cigarette. I didn't see it. I didn't see that.

[Bobby Lee]

And case is closed. And that. Apologize. I just feel like. No in this kingdom is so corrupt. No, apologize, dude. For being soaked in life. I'm a Menendez brother now, dude. You're. I want to watch. I haven't seen the document I'm going to do.

[Jules]

I can't wait to see it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going to watch it tonight. But apologize, please.

[Jules]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

No, dude, I can't. You peed on my car. I didn't pee on your car, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I feel.

[Bobby Lee]

That's fucking insane. I didn't pee on your car. You're telling everyone I pee on you. I did not pee on your car. It's illegal too public expos. It's public indecency or whatever. That's insane. Apologize. Apologize.

[Jules]

I'm sorry, sir.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. I peed on your car. I peed on your car, dude. I peed on your car.

[Jules]

I was a good liar.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

Hey. What?

[Bobby Lee]

What's up?

[Andrew Santino]

I was just gonna say that Tito Bobby has a tendency to do that because he even pees on a cup in his room.

[Jules]

Yes, he will pee in a cup in his room.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. What?

[Jules]

Sometimes.

[Bobby Lee]

No. What are you saying?

[Jules]

Well, that's next level.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't pee in the cup in my room. That's crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

In the garage, in your gaming room where I have to clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, back then I did. You're saying the past.

[Jules]

A couple of years ago.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Because it was so far down. And I'm playing. Listen. When you're playing Warzone with your. With. With your fire team, you can't walk away, right? And I'm like. And I had to pee real bad. I'm like, hold up. Right? And I'm like, I'll crouch down and then I'll, you know, pee in a cup. I'm here. I'm still here. Right? And then I'll pee and then I'll go. I'll do this later.

[Jules]

What kind of cup? Like a.

[Bobby Lee]

Sometimes it was like coffee cup? No, like a. Sometimes a coffee cup, but something also, like. Sometimes like a empty bottle of water. Like plastic.

[Jules]

Wow. You can get it in there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You have a thin dig, dude.

[Jules]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a thin dig. Right. That. That's rude.

[Jules]

I've seen it. It's great.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. What you're doing is rude. I didn't. I'm sorry.

[Jules]

He did pee on your car. Was very funny. We were laughing.

[Bobby Lee]

We did it as a joke.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I go where the laugh is.

[Jules]

He do. He goes right for the laugh.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

Also then be honest on your side. If we're going to be honest over here that he peed on your car. He did not pee on. He peed on your tire.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

He peed on your wheel.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Jules]

Well, am I wrong?

[Bobby Lee]

I think you are, actually.

[Jules]

Where did he pee?

[Bobby Lee]

Just above the tire and it hit the body of the car. I wanted to get the whole tire. Only half a tire, dude.

[Jules]

If you don't. If you don't. He's right, though.

[Bobby Lee]

So at the top.

[Jules]

Well, because angle wise, it has to go.

[Bobby Lee]

I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sprinkle. Yeah. I mean, I could have opened the door and peed inside.

[Jules]

It wasn't.

[Bobby Lee]

That wouldn't have been bad. That would have been bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're welcome then. Thank you.

[Jules]

It was unlocked.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

He could have crossed the line there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Jules]

Where's the weirdest place you've peed? What's the stranger in a mouth? You have peed in someone's mouth. Have you peed on, have you peed on somebody?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

You've done that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

And they said please pee on me.

[Bobby Lee]

They were like into I know where I peed and I can't say I'm going to bubble for this.

[Jules]

Please.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going to. And please. I'm gonna get in so much trouble. Rocket Money Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You guys, I've spent probably thousands of dollars because I've had a lot of like game subscriptions and like sleeping subscriptions. Like you know, like your ambient noises that I never use anymore or even like, you know, other ones that. And I've canceled them and I've saved thousands of dollars thanks to Rocket Money. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower your bills for you, sometimes up to 20%. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service even. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com badfriends that's rocketmoney.com bad friends rocketmoney.com bad friends displate displate is a one of a kind metal poster designed to capture your unique passions. And guys, I have so many unique passions it's unbelievable. And I get to display them on my walls. Display created a 21st century canvas that's sturdy, magnet mounted and durable enough to withstand a lifetime of intense staring. I used to have a poster of Brooke Shields on my wall when I was a kid. Like not a kid but in high school, whatever. Not Brooke Shields, Duran Duran. I mean and I forget and so. And it got destroyed in a couple of months. But if I had this, it would still be up there. Displayed has both branded and artistic artwork. They have over 2 million designs available for everyone, including official designs from brands like Marvel, dc, Star Wars, Netflix, NASA, plenty of games and movies including official Bad Friends design like like the one I'm carrying right now. Use the link in the description display.com bad friends or use code Bad Friends to unlock exclusive access to the best display deal before it's gone. Displate Collect your passions. The new Apple Watch Series 10 is here it has the biggest display ever.

[Jules]

It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever.

[Bobby Lee]

Making it even more comfortable on your wrist. And it's the fastest charging Apple watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. Introducing the all new Apple Watch Series.

[Jules]

10, now available for the first time.

[Bobby Lee]

In glossy jet black aluminum.

[Jules]

Compared to previous generation.

[Bobby Lee]

IPhone Xs are later required.

[Jules]

Charge time and actual results will vary.

[Bobby Lee]

I peed at the in, right on the side of the stage.

[Jules]

No way. No way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because. Have you been there?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So you have to walk to the backstage. There's no bathroom back there. Oh, the only way to go to the bathroom is through the front of the fucking venue.

[Jules]

And you had a pee so bad.

[Bobby Lee]

So I'm back there and they're about to bring me up and I'm like, oh, fuck, I got a pee and I just peed on the wall.

[Jules]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, a lot. As much as I peed on his car.

[Jules]

That's a lot. That was a lot. Huge puddle.

[Bobby Lee]

And now in my mind I was like. When I was on stage, I was like, I'm gonna clean it when I get off. I was gonna spray it down.

[Jules]

With what? There's a hose nearby?

[Bobby Lee]

No, like a empty, like a bottle of water or whatever.

[Jules]

Just to wash away.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, wash it away. Yeah, yeah. And I completely forgot.

[Jules]

Well, you know now. Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I love that club. Please. I'm gonna work it again. I'll never do that again. Okay, okay, okay.

[Jules]

Where's the weirdest place you've peed?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm a girl. I can't just be anywhere. I wish I had a dick.

[Jules]

No, you don't wish you did. Had a dick.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't like a dick?

[Jules]

Yeah. Dick tube.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Jules]

A piss tube. You guys should have a piss tube. They make those.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, that's cool.

[Jules]

That's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

You gotta get one of those.

[Jules]

Yeah, that is very cool.

[Bobby Lee]

That's pretty cool.

[Jules]

You pee anywhere?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I was on a radio station once and I myself, I had my ass crack was so exposed on their white couch that it left a brown streak. Right. And so then the next time I was at the radio station, they got a new couch, but they cut out the streak and they framed the fucking.

[Jules]

That's really cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? That is in my honor.

[Jules]

Would you ever. Would you ever get a piercing on your balls?

[Andrew Santino]

That would be cool.

[Bobby Lee]

On my balls?

[Jules]

People pierce our nuts all the time.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no.

[Jules]

The Prince Albert goes through your wiener, but the other one just goes through your balls. Scrotum piercing. That'd be tight. A little. A little dumbbell right there. Or a little. Just like a little nose ring, but on your.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Jules]

On your balls.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, there's like a porn guy that. I remember that.

[Bobby Lee]

We go back to that other one.

[Jules]

There's a porn guy that has the.

[Bobby Lee]

Piercings in a weird way. That could be like Dune part three is fucking poster in a weird. Right, right. Dune three. You know, I mean, dude.

[Jules]

Well, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, look at those hills.

[Jules]

That's Dune. Two rings.

[Bobby Lee]

Two rings, yeah. Wow, look at that. Okay, I.

[Jules]

That's a. That this is a thing that. Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jules]

No, thanks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, pass. I pass on that.

[Jules]

You know what we should do? We should get your tongue pierced, Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not.

[Jules]

Please.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not getting piercings do that. That's a stupid thing.

[Jules]

How about your nose?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to do any of that.

[Jules]

Your septum, you'll never see.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm not in. What I've had in my pierced.

[Jules]

When did you have your ear pierced?

[Bobby Lee]

Right here. This one. You can even feel the cartilage right here.

[Jules]

I never knew you with an ear piercing.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Jules]

You never worn earring when I met you?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I did it in when I was 17.

[Jules]

That's rad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Bad boy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

Was it both pierce or just one?

[Bobby Lee]

What? Both or just one? Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

Left side.

[Bobby Lee]

And then my dad was like, just so mad about it. We in bibimbap. And he looks at me go, you gay? Like I'm not gay? No, you gay. He kept saying that.

[Jules]

He's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Why was it that your left side was not gay, your right side was gay? When we were a kid. Why was that a whole thing? Both was fine. Left was fine. Right was gay. Who started that? That's something that she doesn't know about. Yeah. When we were kids, if you had one in your right ear only, it was gay. If you had one in your left, it was straight. But if you had both, it was totally fine. Oh. It's called the gay ear myth. Signaling signaling.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Jules]

Rich history of jewelry being shown off to show wealth, nobility, or status. But then it was used to show off sexual preference.

[Andrew Santino]

That's cool.

[Jules]

So this was like a code. It was like tipping.

[Bobby Lee]

I see. Yeah.

[Jules]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

The effects of the gay ear.

[Jules]

It became common for men to secretly communicate their sexuality by wearing an earring in their right ear. By the 90s, it becomes so widely accepted as a secret code that it was article about a New York Times. After that, there weren't many Questions about which ear. Was the gay ear left or left for straight men? Right, for gay men. Interesting. But you know who can pull it off without sexual orientation ties?

[Bobby Lee]

Who?

[Jules]

Black dudes. There'd be black dudes when we were young that would have a right earring in and no one would say anything.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I just got a text. Make me so mad.

[Jules]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

I left $3,000 in my hotel.

[Jules]

Cash? Yeah. Why did you have $3,000 cash in your hotel?

[Bobby Lee]

Loves cash. I love cash.

[Jules]

What would you need three grand for?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because sometimes my cards don't work.

[Jules]

How much are you eating?

[Bobby Lee]

Look a lot.

[Jules]

Well, like I don't. You're not going out drinking, you're not going out gambling.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

You're like, what do you need that much cash for? There's no chance you're spending three grand on dinner.

[Bobby Lee]

It's safety.

[Jules]

You want to.

[Bobby Lee]

I feel safe.

[Jules]

Well, you should feel unsafe because you just lost it.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no, I left it in the safe. I left in the safe. That makes me feel.

[Jules]

How did they know? Did somebody open the safe and find it?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I left the hotel, came back to LA and I go, fuck. I left $3,000 in the safe.

[Jules]

They're never going to give it back to you.

[Bobby Lee]

So I just. Then we went out to them and goes, here's his code. There's some money in there. And they're like, well, we'll just put it back into his credit card. Can they do that?

[Jules]

I think maybe. I mean, that seems strange. Could they do that? Can they do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Probably. It seems.

[Jules]

That seems shady.

[Bobby Lee]

Shady? But it's the Ritz.

[Jules]

Oh, they'll do it for you.

[Bobby Lee]

They'll do it, right?

[Jules]

They'll do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. They're a high end.

[Jules]

A five star hotel would do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

Any other stars you're not getting?

[Bobby Lee]

So that I should do that?

[Jules]

I think that's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Or they say, we'll send you a check, but I'll just put it back into the thing then.

[Jules]

Put it back into the thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, good, good.

[Jules]

Put it back in the thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Here's another thing I. And this is a dangerous path that I'm going to just show you because I have no. I don't know what else to talk about.

[Jules]

Take me down that road.

[Bobby Lee]

This is what I've been doing all day.

[Jules]

I'm pretty sure.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that?

[Jules]

Send the photos. Jules, what's been going on with you, though? Is there any new news to share?

[Andrew Santino]

I think I have narcolepsy.

[Jules]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Tell me about the Narcolepsy.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, my. My aunt, she also has narcolepsy, and she gave me a medicine for it, and then she just said to try this because I always. Because I'm always so tired. I feel so heavy in the morning. I just. Like, my brain is just always so empty.

[Jules]

Have you ever fallen asleep while driving?

[Andrew Santino]

No, but I can sleep anywhere immediately.

[Jules]

Like, right now you could go to sleep?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

She has a sleep thing, for sure.

[Jules]

So do you.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but she can sleep, like, right now.

[Jules]

So can you.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. Yeah.

[Jules]

What is this thing?

[Bobby Lee]

Guess.

[Jules]

I mean, is it a mold of your penis? Are you molding your penis? No.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not molding a penal.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

This is what I've been making.

[Jules]

What have you been making?

[Bobby Lee]

It's kava, dude.

[Jules]

You're making kava?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Dude.

[Jules]

What the fuck are you talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

Kava, dude.

[Jules]

What? Kava?

[Bobby Lee]

The root.

[Jules]

What are you doing? Are you making drugs? Is this new drug?

[Bobby Lee]

It's not drug. No.

[Jules]

Drugs I don't know about.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you what happened. So I'm in Hawaii. Okay. And I'm with Gene. You're my buddy, Gene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're at the COVID The COVID Yeah. We the best acai bowls, don't you think, In Hawaii.

[Jules]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So, you know, we're regulars there. So, you know, they. They came up to us and here's some of this. And it's like a glass of, like, muddy water.

[Jules]

That kava.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I drank it, and we were both like, you're not high. But we were just like. Yeah.

[Jules]

It's supposed to. It's a calming agent.

[Bobby Lee]

The calming agent.

[Jules]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

And so I got some kava, and I brewed some at home.

[Jules]

So it's a root, it's a kava, and you break it down, you don't get high. Did you strain that in.

[Bobby Lee]

But you're supposed to strain it. But I didn't have a cloth strainer.

[Jules]

Cheesecloth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So I used a T shirt. I thought it's the same kind of theory.

[Jules]

Drinking kava during recovery. Is it a relapse?

[Bobby Lee]

Is it? No, it's not.

[Jules]

Nope. It can affect the brain similarly to alcohol and narcotics, but it could be.

[Bobby Lee]

Helpful tool in managing cravings.

[Jules]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Alternative to consuming alcohol or illicit drugs. It's a healthy alternative.

[Bobby Lee]

So I drank some last night before I went to bed, and I slept for, like, 14 hours.

[Jules]

Give me some of your kava, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Kava's the best.

[Jules]

Do Bobby kava. Yeah, I'm Bobby Kava.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'll give you the powder. You can make it at home.

[Jules]

Got it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

I can make it myself. You don't have to go buy kava root somewhere.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I have the powder.

[Jules]

Do you order it off Amazon or something?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I got it at the COVID.

[Jules]

Oh, you brought it back.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I brought it back with me.

[Jules]

Did you. Did you clarify that when you got to the border?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yes.

[Jules]

You didn't declare it, did you? Well, now you've outed yourself.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. Arrest me for kava powder. But you can buy. Can you buy some kava powder here online? Yeah.

[Jules]

It's totally legal, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Totally legal. Yeah. Yeah. But it was. It really helped me with my sleep.

[Jules]

I took mushrooms the other night that helped me with my sleep.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Jules]

It was great. I didn't take mushrooms, like, a lot. No, just a little bit. We had just a little something something and really jazz me up. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you perform with it?

[Jules]

We. No, no, we were in the woods.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Why is it when you're super drunk, you call me?

[Jules]

Because I love you.

[Bobby Lee]

But it's weird.

[Jules]

I love you and then whenever you.

[Bobby Lee]

Call you, you're with friends, you always go, hey, my little Chinese guy.

[Jules]

I didn't say that.

[Bobby Lee]

Something like that. Yeah. Hey, little man. Little man. You know what I mean?

[Jules]

No, I said.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys all laugh, right? What's up?

[Jules]

Not true. See, now you're lying to the audience.

[Bobby Lee]

No. What do you do, though?

[Jules]

I call you.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you say little things.

[Jules]

First of all. First of all, when I called you, I don't call you all the time like that because I don't like to call you when I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

You call me on stage, too.

[Jules]

I love calling you on stage.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

But I called you because I was with friends and we were talking about you, and my friends were saying how much they love you, and I was like, well, I want to call them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, okay.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I always call you back.

[Jules]

You always.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Well, you answered that time. And then I was in fear for my life for a second of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Jules]

I was tripping a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you were high too? You were mushrooms.

[Jules]

Not seeing things. I was just feeling the wave.

[Bobby Lee]

When you're out, just sort of like playing around, it takes you away from what is really important, I think.

[Jules]

What's really important.

[Bobby Lee]

The quiet times, like sitting there with a girl looking your eyes. Right. And sometimes you may be attach heads in bed. Right. And you know, you can make little nicknames. Nicknames. Hey, Mongo, you know what I mean? You kind of hit Your head against hers.

[Jules]

Mongo.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Mongo.

[Jules]

Mongo.

[Bobby Lee]

Mongo, right? And go. What?

[Andrew Santino]

So aggressive.

[Bobby Lee]

You too much.

[Jules]

Yeah, It's a love tap.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a love tat. You go, hey, Mongo. Like that, right? And they're like, ow. Right?

[Jules]

Mongo, quiet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Mango, quiet, Right?

[Jules]

Quiet, Mongo.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Mango, get me. No, seriously, I love you. You have to say that.

[Jules]

You have to say I love you.

[Bobby Lee]

You're being with you Headbutt, right?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Make me a sandwich. Can you please make me a sandwich?

[Jules]

You miss the quiet time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I like those times. Right.

[Jules]

And then let's get you back.

[Bobby Lee]

Or, you know, when you're watching something with somebody, you know, you're watching it like a sunset. Oh, yeah.

[Jules]

You miss those?

[Bobby Lee]

I miss it.

[Jules]

Let's put it out to the world. Last night, you know, you're ready.

[Bobby Lee]

So I was watching the Penguin last night by myself.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I know you haven't seen it.

[Jules]

I haven't.

[Bobby Lee]

But I was going, what an interesting character, the Penguin. Yeah. And I also thought to myself, why isn't there more?

[Jules]

More?

[Bobby Lee]

Why doesn't Batman have more enemies?

[Jules]

Well, the Joker was big.

[Bobby Lee]

It's just not enough. Because if they're recycling, they're recycling through the. On all the movies. I think the next one. I think the Scarecrow's back for the next one, Right?

[Jules]

But look at how many. The Joker, Hugo Strange, Penguins, Clayface, Mr. Freeze Man, Batman, Bane, Killer Croc, Two Face, Deadshot. This is a lot of fucking energy.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but, you know, but let me. I have a. Can I say something?

[Jules]

Yeah. That's 30 guys.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, I understand that, but you can't use the Killer Croc.

[Jules]

Okay, how about this then?

[Bobby Lee]

Because you can't, you know, because all the Batman movies now are based in reality, right? So it's like, you know, the Riddler was just a serial killer.

[Jules]

Okay. But Catwoman made it through and that's a.

[Bobby Lee]

That they recycle them.

[Jules]

Okay, but Cat, get some new ones.

[Bobby Lee]

That are human based.

[Jules]

That's so many.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What you. I mean, like their calligraphy.

[Jules]

Raoul.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, but they're going to use. Yeah, that. We already did that. Okay, we got to find other ones. Like, you know, I don't know. Calligraphy is not a good enemy name. Black Mask. What?

[Jules]

Black Mask.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that. Yeah. Black Mask. Yeah, but he's not woke enough. What?

[Jules]

What did you say?

[Bobby Lee]

It's not woke enough.

[Jules]

It's got to be woke.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's got to be. Yeah. White.

[Jules]

Well, what if Black Mask transition.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

Hush.

[Bobby Lee]

What if they transition?

[Jules]

What if they. Sorry. I apologize. Yeah, man. Bat.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You can't do that, guy. The Philippines. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's just a Filipino with wings.

[Jules]

I come to kill you, Batman. You're gonna go down, Batman. Yeah, Batman. You die, Batman.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But why do they always recycle them?

[Jules]

Because if you. Because nobody. Look, people are afraid of new property. They want the old stuff give them the old. They want the stuff they've seen before. They want the stuff familiar with them.

[Bobby Lee]

I guess you're right.

[Jules]

But we all like the flavor. That we know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

You know?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Like, how would you do Poison Ivy in this? More realism. Batman.

[Jules]

The same way they did cat, man. A cat.

[Bobby Lee]

But she. She uses plants to, like, poison people.

[Andrew Santino]

She has to be the. What's it? Botanist.

[Bobby Lee]

A botanist.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jules]

Yeah, she's a botanist. And. And she literally gives people Poison Ivy. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jules]

You scratch yourself to death.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Good luck with that. Without lidocaine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Here's a. Here. Okay, I've been scrolling a lot. Here's ones I don't understand. Why do I always get the eggs?

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Jules]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The mother smashing the egg in on a baby's face.

[Jules]

That was like a year ago.

[Bobby Lee]

I still get that, though.

[Jules]

Jesus.

[Andrew Santino]

You're behind.

[Jules]

You're behind. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I get that a lot. Or I get, like, riddles. I get a lot of riddles. Can I show you? Like, a riddle.

[Jules]

Give me a riddle.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Here we go. Okay.

[Jules]

Riddle me. To say two fathers, you have to say, riddle me this.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Jules]

Because.

[Bobby Lee]

Riddle me this.

[Jules]

There.

[Bobby Lee]

Riddle me this. There's two fathers and two sons.

[Jules]

Okay, Chinese riddler.

[Bobby Lee]

Riddle me this. There's two fathers and 2 sons.

[Jules]

That'd be really hard for him.

[Bobby Lee]

There's 2 fathers and 2 sons in a car. But there's only 3 people. How.

[Andrew Santino]

I feel like Andrew. Will can answer this.

[Bobby Lee]

You know that one?

[Jules]

Yeah. Two father. There's two fathers and two sons.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But there's only three people in a car. But there's two fathers and two sons, right?

[Jules]

Yeah. It's a. It's a grandfather, a dad and his son.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. Very good. You're so good.

[Jules]

No, it's really easy logic. That's right down the road.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me a riddle. I could. I've never solved one.

[Jules]

You've never solved one?

[Bobby Lee]

No, No. I get confused. Go ahead.

[Jules]

A train is going 30 miles an hour, Right. And it leaves the station at 6 o'clock.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no way. There's numbers.

[Jules]

The train is going, oh, wait, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

So I need visuals. I need a visual.

[Jules]

A train.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, this is a train.

[Jules]

There it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Jules]

The train leaves the station. This is a station at 6 o'clock.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jules]

It's going 30 miles an hour.

[Bobby Lee]

Hold on. I gotta. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm being real. Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, hold on, hold on, hold on. What time?

[Jules]

6:00.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta put 6:00 right here. I put 6.

[Jules]

Okay, 6:00. Train. Train leaves the station at 6:00.

[Bobby Lee]

We gotta read the 6.

[Jules]

And it's gonna go 30 miles an hour.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, fuck.

[Jules]

How do I do 30?

[Bobby Lee]

And Tucson, 33. There. 30 miles per hour. And Tucson is 40 miles away. Whoa, Tucson. Tucson, Arizona. Right here.

[Jules]

So 6:00, 30 miles per hour.

[Bobby Lee]

Tucson, 40 miles away.

[Jules]

40 miles away. 30, 40. How did the train get there at 6:30? Wait, wait.

[Bobby Lee]

It's going 30 miles an hour, right? But it's 40 miles away. How to get there at 6:30? It's sped up. Can it speed up?

[Jules]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna see. I want to say this too, right now, dude, if this is fake, if this is a fake fucking riddle, dude.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna be so fucking mad at you, dude. Okay, it doesn't make any sense. So 30 miles per hour and it's 40. Well, it gets there because the math just is right. He gets there at 6:30.

[Jules]

What's the math?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, the 40. It'll make it if you do it.

[Jules]

What is the Math?

[Bobby Lee]

If you're 3 miles per hour for 30 miles per hour in 30 minutes, you can get there in 30 minutes. 40 miles. Okay, so the math is correct. So math's correct. Okay. He makes it there. Sure. Is that it? Yeah, that's the riddle.

[Jules]

Of course he's. Yeah, of course he makes it there.

[Bobby Lee]

So I got it.

[Jules]

You got it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, good. Dude, that's. Is that a real riddle?

[Jules]

It's not.

[Bobby Lee]

You made it up.

[Jules]

Yeah, I did.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me a real one.

[Jules]

Dude, I'm not filled with riddles.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me a real riddle. Look, get one on me online.

[Jules]

Riddle me this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Riddle me this, dude.

[Jules]

All right, here we go.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me a real riddle.

[Jules]

Don't look up at the screen.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay? You don't look either because you're gonna be my problem solver.

[Jules]

Oh, my kids can make it, but can never hold it.

[Bobby Lee]

Or I gotta sit next to her.

[Jules]

Yeah, get over there. Hold on. He'll flip the cam.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at me, Riddle squad.

[Jules]

These are, by the way, these are riddles for kids that I'm reading.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jules]

These are for kids.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Jules]

All of you should be able to figure it out.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, let's go. Let's go.

[Jules]

All right, zoom in.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, do this one right now. Okay.

[Jules]

What can kids make, but can never hold it or see it? What do kids make that they can't hold or see?

[Bobby Lee]

Fart.

[Andrew Santino]

Laugh. O. Laugh.

[Bobby Lee]

Laugh. Fart.

[Jules]

They're both right. Noise. Noise. Okay, so you're one for. One for riddles.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Very, very good. Riddle Squad, USA let's go.

[Jules]

What question can you never answer yes to?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, did you ever kill anybody?

[Jules]

No. You could easily answer yes to that.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I didn't, though.

[Jules]

Yeah, but it's possible.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not possible. I will never do it.

[Jules]

What question could you never answer yes to? It would be impossible to even say yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, are you dead?

[Jules]

That pretty close. Are you asleep yet? Yeah. That's good. Are you dead? Is even better. Don't look at the fucking.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Dude, where are you at?

[Andrew Santino]

I was thinking.

[Bobby Lee]

Where the fuck are you at, dude?

[Jules]

You're running a race, and at the very end, you pass the person in second place. What place did you second?

[Andrew Santino]

Second. Second. Second.

[Jules]

Bitch.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, wait.

[Jules]

She's right. She's right. She was right.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, I didn't even get it. Ask it.

[Jules]

What has 13 hearts but no other organs? 13 hearts but no other?

[Bobby Lee]

Artichoke.

[Jules]

Very good.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that our choke?

[Jules]

It's not. Okay, that's really good.

[Andrew Santino]

13 heart.

[Jules]

13 hearts, but no other organs?

[Bobby Lee]

13 hearts.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you give a clue? Oh, cards.

[Bobby Lee]

A deck of cards.

[Jules]

Yeah. It was not more than a clue. I, like, just told you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

[Jules]

Here we go. I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest person can't hold me for five minutes. What am I?

[Bobby Lee]

Breath.

[Jules]

Oh, yeah. Bob, that was so fast.

[Bobby Lee]

That's really good Fucking math.

[Jules]

You're a math whiz. Don't look at the screen. What has many, many needles, but doesn't ever sew? Hey, it's a pine tree. But that's. We'll take it. What kind of band never plays music?

[Bobby Lee]

Rubber.

[Jules]

A rubber band. Honestly, you suck. You suck. You haven't got one of these. These are for you. These are for.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it rubber band? Really the thing?

[Jules]

Yeah, a rubber band.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, one more, one more, one more.

[Jules]

What gets bigger? You see it? You saw.

[Bobby Lee]

I swear to God.

[Jules]

What gets bigger the more you take away?

[Bobby Lee]

It has to do with feelings.

[Jules]

I want it to be. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, when you take away bigger. Yeah, yeah. It's like you know, your. Your rage gets bigger when you leave more.

[Jules]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? Like a woman leaves and you get bigger rage and your hole in your heart. Wow. Right? So love.

[Jules]

You're so close, though. Ironically, you're so close.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I think it's something like that.

[Jules]

You said it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. What is it?

[Jules]

A hole.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

A hole.

[Jules]

But you got there.

[Bobby Lee]

I got there Organically. Organically, in a weird way. Yeah. Yeah, I got there.

[Jules]

This is great.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, this is dumb. Yeah, I'm trying different things.

[Jules]

No, it's really good.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you guys watch K drama?

[Bobby Lee]

Here we go.

[Jules]

Do I watch K drama? What is that? Korean shows give me K dramas.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm watching this one. Judge from Hell.

[Jules]

It's called Judge from Hell.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So she's basically a judge, but that's core, and he's a demon. Went inside her body, and her task is to kill 10 murderers who. Who doesn't repent. No regrets about anything that they do. And it's so cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Jules]

Wow. Is it all in Korean?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but there's subtitles.

[Jules]

Yeah. I hate reading. Yeah, I. I try. I can't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we have that. It. We have that in America. It's called Judge Judy.

[Jules]

Judge Judy, Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's the same thing.

[Jules]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

You know. You ever seen Judge Judy?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you about Judy. Tell them about Judy.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not a demon.

[Jules]

Yes, yes, it is.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a demon.

[Jules]

That is demon. And it's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at her hand.

[Jules]

She curses it. She curses.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that. She's not lifting her hand. The demon is.

[Jules]

So she's also been taken over by a demon.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, that's demon.

[Jules]

That's demon.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

She's dark.

[Bobby Lee]

She's dark. Anyway, there's another Korean one. What about the one. Have you seen the North Korean one?

[Jules]

What's it called?

[Bobby Lee]

What's that? It's called Fly By Me. What's it? Plane. The lady that crosses the plane.

[Andrew Santino]

Crash landing.

[Bobby Lee]

Crash landing.

[Jules]

A Korean show about North Korea.

[Bobby Lee]

No. So this lady. Let me get. I haven't seen that. But this lady, right, is on a plane. She crashes in North Korea, and then she falls in love with a North Korean soldier.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not a plane. She was on a parachute.

[Jules]

She jumped out of a plane, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so she just jumped from the ground. She jumped from the ground up as if she's fucking Superman. And then she. Fuck. Fell down in North Korea. What happened?

[Andrew Santino]

It's the one where you use the wind. You run and then you parasail.

[Bobby Lee]

Parasailing.

[Jules]

Paragliding.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, this. That makes sense. Honey, honey.

[Jules]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's go. Paragon lighting today.

[Jules]

I rose Robert, too, but you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Where I like to go do it?

[Jules]

The dnz.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, yes. At the dmz.

[Jules]

We'll go to dnz.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, we love the paragraph on the border.

[Jules]

The wind is awful strong.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, honey. What?

[Jules]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no. Makes no sense.

[Andrew Santino]

There was a storm.

[Jules]

Oh, a storm.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so you're. Oh, really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And then she was.

[Bobby Lee]

She's paragliding on a storm lands in North Korea, and then what happens? She meets a North Korean soldier. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But she has to hide.

[Bobby Lee]

You seen. There's a. There's a hot North Korea. You think there's a hot Korean fucking soldier standing there?

[Jules]

This guy's hot. This guy's hot, but he's South Korean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

That's the trick.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, he looks like he's been eating.

[Jules]

Yeah, he looks healthy.

[Bobby Lee]

You think North Koreans shoulders are eating? No, dude, there's a. Fuck. Dude, there's a North Korean. There's a North Korean Instagram site. And I get into my feed.

[Jules]

What's it called?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, but it's. It's. It's. It's like basically they're making. So basically it's like this. Who says there's no discotheques in North Korea? And they'll show disco.

[Jules]

Oh, it's like the government.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, government. Who says there's no Burger King in Korea? And then it's like. Is that it said North Korea doesn't have McDonald's?

[Jules]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

North Korea has an even better version.

[Jules]

Of the American fast food chain. Do you think they build this on a stage? Do you think it's on, like, a sound?

[Bobby Lee]

But there's people, there's actors sometimes, and they get hamburgers, and they don't know what to do with it, so they open it up, they go, what is this? Right? And it's like they, you know, I mean, it's their government. You can tell that there's people going to eat it, like, behind the camera. And they get scared, you know, so crazy.

[Jules]

Go back to that video. They'll click on the profile.

[Bobby Lee]

See all those videos? What are you doing, dude? Who said North Korea doesn't have marriage? Nobody said that. No one ever said they don't have marriage there.

[Jules]

But look at how nervous he looks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're all nervous.

[Jules]

They're so scared.

[Bobby Lee]

They're so scared. Look at them.

[Jules]

Because they're going to be beaten after this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

Look at that camera from 19 go to more.

[Bobby Lee]

Go. You go different. Yeah. Yeah. What's this one.

[Jules]

As a body. Who's carrying a man's body?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

And they bought a DHL jacket on Amazon.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

It better be efficient. They'll kill you if it doesn't get there on time.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it? Yeah.

[Jules]

Maternity hospital. Who said any of this?

[Bobby Lee]

No one said that.

[Jules]

Keep Go to more.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to more. Go to more.

[Jules]

This is insane.

[Bobby Lee]

There's so many Cool. General store. Yeah. Let's see this general store.

[Jules]

Well, yeah. There's a motorcycle inside of it. What the kind of general store is at.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Jules]

That looks like a weed shop.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Honey, should we get the rice or should we get a motorcycle?

[Jules]

Yeah, we'll take two bag of rice and motorcycle.

[Bobby Lee]

Go, go. Go for the go. Just keep scroll. Can you go scroll scrolling or no? Or do you have to do that?

[Jules]

I think because it's not on the phone. It's not like the phone. Oh, do the roller coaster one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

North Korea doesn't have two cat roller coaster. Oh, my God. Dude, that just falls off of a cliff on the other side.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? North Korea don't have a cat. A cute cat.

[Jules]

Did you know that we have to build?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the plane.

[Jules]

Who said North Korea? Planes always crash.

[Bobby Lee]

Have automotive vehicles.

[Jules]

What? Nobody ever thought there wasn't cars there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

All right, Rudy. And end the show the right way.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you for being a bad friend.