Fat Skinny Eyes

Summary

Bad Friends - "Fat Skinny Eyes"

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Date: December 1, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively and wide-ranging episode, Bobby and Andrew riff on fashion trends (especially bags for men), body image hang-ups, awkward dating interactions, Hollywood dining, comedy road stories, gift-giving anxieties, and favorite soups. The conversation jumps between sharp banter and playful vulnerability, with trademark irreverence and self-deprecating humor. Fans get a window into both comics’ social insecurities and everyday obsessions, all against the backdrop of holiday season nostalgia.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Male Bag Trend

• Timestamps: 01:57 – 07:44
• Bobby defends his love of fanny packs, hilariously relaying how producer Andres made fun of his bag.
• Andrew explores the spectrum of “manly vs. femme” bags, comparing duffels, fanny packs, and purses.
• Both riff on celebrities like LeBron James, Harry Styles, and Jacob Elordi embracing purses.
  • Andrew: "A duffel bag is a man's bag. A fanny pack is bi. A purse, that's femme." (05:22)
  • Bobby: "I'm not bisexual. But fashion is life, is it not?" (05:57)
• Discussion of Yoshinobu Yamamoto (Dodgers pitcher) and his extravagant bag collection.

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2. Body Image, Weight Loss, and “Fat Skinny Eyes”

• Timestamps: 07:44 – 08:36
• Bobby, having recently lost weight, admits he still sees a "fat guy" in the mirror and jokes about having "fat eyes."
• Andrew challenges Bobby on moving the goalposts for body satisfaction.
  • Bobby: “I still have fat eyes.” (07:46)
• Laughter about body dysmorphia, aging, and flat vs. dimpled butts.
  • Andrew: "Those are the dimples in your tush. That's my favorite place to bite.” (08:53)

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3. Awkward Encounters & The Art of FaceTime Dating

• Timestamps: 12:06 – 20:30
• Bobby and Andrew role-play a FaceTime date, exposing Bobby's criteria for online matches.
  • Andrew (as the date): “My last boyfriend cheated on me with a yoga instructor. I became a yoga instructor.” (16:46)
• The guys explore red flags in partners (drinking, number of marriages, lots of kids, exes as NBA players).
• Discussion of long-distance attempts and why FaceTime pre-vetting matters.

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4. Anxiety and Comedy Special Prep

• Timestamps: 29:00 – 31:12
• Bobby opens up about the stress of prepping his special—songwriting with Louis Katz, using holograms, and feeling unprecedented anxiety.
  • Bobby: "I've never felt this much anxiety in my life—even, like, technical things. I don't know why." (29:48)
• Andrew reassures Bobby about trusting talented collaborators.

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5. Hilarious Riffs: Sperm, Release, and Warrior Genes

• Timestamps: 31:12 – 32:52
• Bobby gets graphic about not masturbating to porn, saving his "release" for times with a partner.
• They riff on sperm as “warriors,” discuss Lee family history and referencing famed warriors named Lee.
  • Bobby: “If you look at my sperm, they're wearing helmets and little swords. They're survivors!” (31:47)

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6. Hollywood Hotspots: Dantana’s and Night Market

• Timestamps: 25:26 – 42:21
• The guys recall run-ins at legendary L.A. spots like Dantana’s, where Bobby is now recognized and even kissed by the host.
  • Bobby: "Now, like, they kiss me on the cheeks and stuff." (40:11)
• Andrew teases Bobby about his bag and their contrasting food tastes, promoting Night Market as a better alternative.
• Reflections on feeling excluded or ignored in elite L.A. settings (and whether it’s race or looks).

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7. Gifts, Friendship, and Holidays

• Timestamps: 63:38 – 69:17
• The hosts stress over finding the perfect Christmas presents for each other.
• They negotiate whether to stop exchanging gifts and joke about extravagant wishes (Gucci chains, cars, loofahs, a Toto Japanese toilet).
  • Andrew: "I'd rather buy you a new car than eat food with you." (69:12)
• Heartfelt wishes to make a real movie together in the coming year.

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8. Soup Season and Food Critique

• Timestamps: 51:02 – 57:02
• Ecstatic celebration of soup season, with an earnest reveal of favorite (and least favorite) soups.
  • Andrew: “It’s soup season, dog. That crisp air—if you can see your breath in LA, it’s soup season.” (51:03)
• Bobby loves Tom Yum, jigga stews, and clam chowder; Andrew can’t stand matzo ball soup.
• The duo bond over breakfast at The Griddle and the spectacle of fruity pebble French toast.

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9. Comedy, Sketch Shows, and Limitations

• Timestamps: 57:02 – 58:35
• Bobby reflects on his time in sketch comedy, expressing insecurity about his skills.
• Andrew insists Bobby’s “eyes” are his comedic tell—but also his acting limitation.
  • Andrew: “You do characters, but you have to physically change your eyes.” (58:10)

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10. Frankenstein’s Monster & Pop Culture Gripings

• Timestamps: 58:35 – 61:07
• The guys debate the confusion around Frankenstein vs. Frankenstein’s Monster and societal misnaming.
  • Andrew: “Like on a Halloween shirt, it'll say Frankenstein. Why didn’t they just give the monster the name Frankenstein?” (59:53)
• Brief chat about film releases ("Now You See Me") and Andrew’s role.

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11. Memorable TikTok – The Red House Furniture Ad

• Timestamps: 48:04 – 50:13
• Bobby shares a nostalgic 90s local furniture ad that seems about racial harmony—until Andrew reveals it’s a comedy sketch.
• Bobby is adorably embarrassed, but Andrew reassures him: “Your innocence is good because it is a good commercial.” (50:12)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I still have fat eyes.” – Bobby (07:46)
• “A duffel bag is a male. A fanny pack—that is a little femme leaning. And then a purse, that’s a straight up purse… Harry Styles with a purse.” – Andrew (05:22)
• “If you look at my sperm, they're wearing helmets and little swords. They're survivors!” – Bobby (31:47)
• “That crisp air—if you can see your breath in LA, it's soup season.” – Andrew (51:03)
• “I'd rather buy you a new car than eat food with you.” – Andrew (69:12)
• “I'm not bisexual. But fashion is life, is it not?” – Bobby (05:57)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Male bag fashion: 01:57–07:44
• Body image & ‘fat eyes’: 07:44–08:36
• FaceTime dating roleplay: 12:06–20:30
• Comedy special anxiety: 29:00–31:12
• Hologram dad bit: 29:00–29:48
• Sperm and warrior genes riff: 31:12–32:52
• Hollywood dining & Dantana’s: 25:26–42:21
• Gifts episode & friendship: 63:38–69:17
• Soup season rhapsody: 51:02–57:02
• Acting & ‘eyes’ limitation: 57:02–58:35
• Frankenstein debate: 58:35–61:07
• “Red House” TikTok: 48:04–50:13

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Tone & Final Impressions

This episode is classic Bad Friends: rambling, affectionate, irreverently honest, and punctuated by escalating bits and inside jokes. Both hosts ping-pong between deep vulnerability (body image, aging, dating fears) and merciless mockery (of each other and pop culture at large). Listeners get a little wisdom about trusting collaborators, a lot of laughs, and a holiday reminder that, even if your eyes are still “fat," you deserve soup and a friend who remembers your birthday—if only to hassle you about what gift to give.

Transcript

[A]

Coca Cola for the big, for the.

[B]

Small, the short and the tall.

[A]

Peacemakers, risk takers for the optimists, pessimists for long distance love, for introverts and extroverts, the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new Coca Cola for everyone.

[B]

Pick up some Coca Cola at a store near you.

[A]

Hey, bad friends. I am so excited to announce that this weekend, December 6th, in Los Angeles at La Valley College, I am putting together the first annual Ho Ho Homers, a home run derby event for Southern California Special Olympics. I would love to see you out there from noon to 4. Come and donate. There's crazy silent auction items, autographed jerseys, all sorts of merch tickets events. You can win a foursome to play golf with me at Sherwood Country Club in beautiful Thousand Oaks, California. Please come out and see us December 6th, La Valley College. If you are out of the LA area, you just want to donate and support Southern California Special Olympics, go to the link that's in the description down below. It's s o s c.org hohohomers we'll put the link down below, but happy holidays and hope to see you there.

[B]

Hey, guess what, guys, we have new merch. And check this shirt out. I love this shirt because this is when I almost died.

[A]

That's when you almost died out back. It's one of the most traumatic moments. Bobby Blading. It's a great shirt. We have it on a long sleeve like that. We have it on a short sleeve. And we also have this hoodie, this white hoodie right here. We love it. Grab one today for the holiday season for you, your family, your friends. Who cares? Get one. Go to badfriendsmerch.com bad friends merch.com you2 are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[B]

Asian dude. You two are disgusting. We're bad friends.

[A]

Why are you making fun of fanny packs? You know. You know Yoshinobu Yamamoto of the Dodgers is big into bags. Do you know about this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Look at his bag collection. This is the new thing, Asian men with bags.

[B]

And that's why I'm into it, because I'm an Asian man. I like bags. Look at the bag I got.

[A]

Let me see your bag.

[B]

Okay, so I come in here and Andreas, our producer, Andreas.

[A]

Andres.

[B]

Andres Andres, right. I call him Andreas when he's acting like that.

[A]

Take him back a peg.

[B]

Yeah. He picks up my bag and he. He starts prancing around the podcast room like, look at me. You know what I mean? I gay. You know what I mean? And I went. And I. Listen, as a. As a man, as an Asian man, I. I'm. I love bags.

[A]

You do love bags.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Could you carry a purse, do you think? That's not a joke. No, many men are carrying.

[B]

This is a purse.

[A]

No, that's a fanny pack.

[B]

But I have everything. And you want to see what's in it?

[A]

Let's see. Open up your purse.

[B]

Okay, so we got notes. Joke, joke notes. My phone.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, you need that.

[B]

And then check it out. Cologne.

[A]

Gotta have it.

[B]

Gotta have.

[A]

Gotta smell good, right?

[B]

And that. What? I have side pockets to. Hold on. That's what's in the side pocket here. That's like my wife's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Neutroge acne patches.

[A]

Acne patches are useful.

[B]

Yeah, very useful. We need all this stuff, and that's pretty much all that's in it. Oh, an airpod.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

A lighter.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And a Listerine thing for my breath.

[A]

All this stuff adds up. Yeah. You're a man.

[B]

Stick that in your pocket.

[A]

No way. Actors. What is that? Across Asia? Why are more men carrying women's handbags?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I'm telling you, it's becoming a new thing. Look at these are both men with very nice handbags.

[B]

Yeah. They don't want to have sex anymore.

[A]

I think it's a new thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And by the way, that's not true. Because their birth rate is through the roof. These guys, they can't stop. Maybe this will slow it down.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

This is a population stopper now.

[B]

That's too far.

[A]

What? Why?

[B]

When there's a thing where you actually carry it with your hand? I don't think I could go to that level.

[A]

You're saying it's okay if it goes strapped strap?

[B]

Cuz. Cuz I don't. I don't do this around my waist, you know, I mean, I do this thing where it's like, you know, I mean, nonchalant. Like nonchalant around the shoulder.

[A]

So it's almost like a back. It's like a side bag.

[B]

It's like a side bag. Yeah. And then sometimes I'm at the airport and I have my backpack. Right. Clip the backpack and I put this in the front like this.

[A]

Oh, a front pack.

[B]

Like a front pack. So I have a backpack and a front pack. Right. And. And I don't know why you're laughing so hysterically right now, my friend. Because you're about to get it.

[A]

I mean, it does look. It looks comfortable. It looks nice.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

It's a fashion item as well.

[B]

It's a fashion item.

[A]

It's one more piece. It's a piece.

[B]

Yeah. And it's Ironheart, which they do great jeans. Look at this fine African American man. Black man.

[A]

You're so afraid to say black guy for a second.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Look at this fine man. There's LeBron.

[B]

LeBron with a bag. Always with the Louis.

[A]

But that's a. But that's a duffel bag. That's a different thing. Duffel. Duffels are their own category. That's a purse.

[B]

Yeah. Well, tell me the difference between a duffel bag and a person.

[A]

Okay, look, a duffel bag is a male.

[B]

Look at that.

[A]

I know. Do you even know who that is, Tyler?

[B]

The creators?

[A]

Sure. Here's the. My logic. A duffel bag is. Is a man's bag. That's. That is little purse leaning. A fanny pack is a. Can be a man's bag. That is a little fem leaning. And then if you have a purse, there's a straight up purse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Harry Styles with a purse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's a little. That's very femme.

[B]

That's very.

[A]

You're in the middle. You're by.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A fanny pack is by.

[B]

Okay, It's. Bye. Okay.

[A]

I'm by. We know.

[B]

Fashion wise. Well, I'm fashionable.

[A]

There's a transference of life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your bags are your life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fashion is life, is it not?

[B]

I'm not bisexual.

[A]

All right.

[B]

But anyway, who's this? Jacob Elardi, but.

[A]

Jacob Elardi.

[B]

Oh, my God. Look at that.

[A]

Well, look at, look at, look.

[B]

And now let me say that you pick up that yellow bag that Jacob Alars and do you do it of him.

[A]

He'll rip you. Jj.

[B]

He'll stretch you out.

[A]

JJ Gabalar.

[B]

That's so gay to say that, though. What? Rip and stretch you out. I'm talking about his butthole. Yeah, he will rip. Stretch. Your butthole will look like the joker's mouth in like two minutes. Stitches the whole thing, dude. All right, watch your face. I apologize.

[A]

All right, look up Yoshinobi Yamamoto's bag collection. This guy for the Dodgers, he's got one of the most iconic bag people.

[B]

People here we go shopping again.

[A]

Post about him all the time. Yeah, go to all. Go to all.

[B]

Going to all. We're just on images, not even shopping.

[A]

There you go. Just do his bag collection. There's got to be a video about it.

[B]

What about his bag? Let's go through some of them.

[A]

And now this guy doing the announcements. He's not gay.

[B]

Yeah. Turquoise, retailing at 11, $600. Made from calf leather with cowhide trim. His teammate, Kike also has one.

[A]

Aww.

[B]

Twins. Then we have the Chanel 22.

[A]

This is a bat. That's a purse in a shiny calf skin.

[B]

I tried this on in a burgundy.

[A]

Major regret not getting it. This is very chic on him.

[B]

The Chanel doesn't stop there. He's also a lover of a. You're also very chic. Yeah, I want him to do why am I again? Bobby Lee. And Bobby Lee has an iron heart. And it says Engineers on it. It's very leather, right, Shake. It's Shake. And it really goes with his torso. It does, yeah. It's almost. It's like. It's a. An attachment to his own body. Like a limb.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's interesting because you've lost weight now, so you're putting on more things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you need more stuff on you.

[B]

Also, I have. I still have fat eyes.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

No, when I'm.

[A]

Some would argue. You have what? Very fat, very skinny eyes. Very thin.

[B]

Very thin. Yeah, I don't, I don't mean it in that hot sound.

[A]

I don't either.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's good.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

You have skinny eyes.

[A]

You have skinny eyes.

[B]

Yeah. Very skinny eyes. Yeah.

[A]

I would say I have medium eyes.

[B]

Medium eyes. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see a fat guy.

[A]

See that? That. Will that ever go away, do you think?

[B]

I don't know, but I, I, I'll, like. I'll do bends and see where the fat is and go. I gotta lose that. You know what I mean?

[A]

See, this is the problem that they say there. You keep. You continually move the goalposts. You lost a lot of weight. Now you still want to lose more. When does it end?

[B]

Until I look like Karen Carpenter.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Body dysmorphia. That's what we.

[B]

Body dysmorphia. That's what.

[A]

It's a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about their flaws and their appearances. But you don't have many flaws.

[B]

I have a flat ass. No, I think you gotta have tiny little bumps in it too. I don't know why.

[A]

Those are the dimples in your tush.

[B]

You have a little dimples. Do you have dimples?

[A]

I have dimples.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And they're my favorite one. When you. You're on yours. You're my. That's my favorite place to bite.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Bumps on your butt can be caused by acne, inflammation, follicles. No, I think it's just. It's just age. I think it's just life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not gonna have a perfect round butt the rest of your life. That's impossible. I mean, Carlos does have a perfectly round.

[B]

He has a nice butt.

[A]

Yeah, but that's just genetics, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, no, because fancy doesn't have a nice butt. No, we've never seen it. See it. Let's see it.

[B]

Well, just Google porgs. But.

[A]

He'S back at it with his dizzy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, there's a little porgy right there. That's the pork butt.

[B]

Yeah. Harry Potter today. Did you watch the movies or what's going on here? I played a video game last night. Okay. Okay. Oh, very good. Good callback. Good callback for something that people don't even know what you're talking about.

[A]

Yeah. You know, but you do. You are. You have layers on today. This is. This is going to be the future of bad weather coming in. The kids got the sweater with the sweater and the collared shirt. Double sweater, collared shirt, one sweater.

[B]

It is cute, though.

[A]

Oh, it's. Oh, it makes. It looks like it's two.

[B]

Yeah. Wow. Wait, wait. It's one sweater that has like a stitching. Exactly. No, be real. Stick your hand between. Oh, my God. You know what? This, like this, like that clip on tie.

[A]

Look at this. Yeah, yeah, It's a clip on tie.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[A]

This is like they made those jackets which had hoodies stitched inside of them. You've seen that. And they're not real hoodies. It's the same thing. Yeah, I kind of like.

[B]

Where do you get that visual too?

[A]

Oh, they have that dead stock, though. They don't make this anymore. This guy, it's worth money now with this point.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He'll have the largest collection of desi Wild.

[B]

Yeah. And. And all it has the symbol on it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, that symbol. I don't. If it was just nothing, that'd be cool. Okay, good. Yeah. And do you always wear those glasses or are they new?

[A]

He's been wearing those since we know him.

[B]

Okay. I think with that outfit, it's very Harry Potter.

[A]

Are those new glasses, though, a new design?

[B]

Yes, they're like fairly new. Like seven, eight months. Oh, wow.

[A]

The whole year you've had those?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Have you just noticed them now?

[A]

They look different today. You know what it is, though? He's got a little pep in his step. I'm guessing he does with his hair, too. Yeah.

[B]

What's going on there?

[A]

It's a crunch. It's like. It's new. He's trying to be young.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

You know. Oh, he just waved.

[B]

He just waved it. You know what I mean?

[A]

You know what happened?

[B]

I wish Turkey didn't exist.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because that's where he got his hair done.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

It's cheating. You're cheating.

[A]

I'm guessing your wife. I'm guessing your wife and you had a little fun today. That's why you're in a good. Am I right?

[B]

You're right.

[A]

See, I knew it.

[B]

I could. That's what it is.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. When his balls are full, he's more annoyed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now he feels light and airy because he's emptied.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That time of the year, you know? Yeah. How long does it last? A minute, too. How long does it.

[A]

Him?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you think?

[A]

I think she just makes. I think she makes him pleasure her and he doesn't. He has to go in the bathroom when it's over and.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

She doesn't want to see that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She did it once. They had a kid. It's over, she's done. They don't want to do that anymore.

[B]

It must be fun for you, huh? Yeah. Very good. Don't. That wink is so creepy.

[A]

I got a girl. I had a girl after the show, ask me for your number, and would.

[B]

You tell me 1 to 10, what is it?

[A]

1 through 10, what is it?

[B]

I mean, her look.

[A]

Her look?

[B]

Yeah. To you. You have different parameters.

[A]

And I think in the. In the social world, she'd be a seven or an eight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I. I didn't give her your number.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Well, that'd be inappropriate, just giving out your number.

[B]

Do you get her Instagram account?

[A]

No.

[B]

She goes, that's not helping.

[A]

She said, can I please have Bobby's number? I said, just DM him. I can't give you his number. That's not appropriate. You want me to give out your number to people? I'm not doing that, but use your.

[B]

Own judgment is what I'm saying.

[A]

This woman I met for 5, 10 of a second, how can I judge her? She said, I'm such a big fan of you guys. Is there any way you can give me Bobby's number?

[B]

One to ten. That's how you judge it?

[A]

Seven.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I gave her. I gave her. What is that? I gave her two thirds of your number.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She has to guess the rest.

[B]

Because McCone set me up. Because she's real. We've been talking. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Who's this girl?

[B]

Some random person slid into my DMs.

[A]

And was like, I want to get.

[B]

In contact with Bobby. Yeah.

[A]

And I screenshotted it and I just texted, is she good looking?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you guys have been chatting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Text or DM?

[B]

DM.

[A]

So it's not ready yet, but she wants to FaceTime. That's so strange.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Why does she need to FaceTime?

[B]

I need to FaceTime.

[A]

Oh, you. This is your thing.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's like she lives in Canada.

[A]

Oh, this is another one of these things.

[B]

What?

[A]

This is never going to come to fruition.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, you're really going to fly her down.

[B]

Well, you know, I.

[A]

How far.

[B]

Remember I did that? Dated that girl from Spokane? That happened.

[A]

Yeah, but that's because you met her in Spokane and then it continued. You never met this human being.

[B]

Oh, but I did that a couple times in New York.

[A]

I mean, one time it was a disaster. One time didn't. Didn't work out so well. Yeah, we remember how that went. Yeah.

[B]

There was two from New York. One was a disaster. Yeah.

[A]

One was a absolute nightmare. Can we, can we say that?

[B]

I. I don't. I don't know.

[A]

She was hammered at 10 in the morning.

[B]

Yeah. She was. Alcoholism, hammered. Yeah.

[A]

10:00Am but remember.

[B]

Do you remember that?

[A]

Guys, you want me to get you coffee? She was drooling at breakfast.

[B]

I know, but do you remember when that was the first? After my breakup with Kalila. That was the first.

[A]

That was the first girl.

[B]

Yeah. So I didn't know any different.

[A]

Well, you knew now.

[B]

I know Now I would never.

[A]

How far in Canada is this Canadian girl?

[B]

Vancouver.

[A]

Oh, that's not far. That's not bad.

[B]

That's not far.

[A]

No. Western Canada, I think you can do.

[B]

You can do western Canada.

[A]

Yeah. But once you get east of Alberta, it gets. I don't. You're not going over there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not doing Winnipeg.

[B]

Yeah. It's just fun, you know, getting to know somebody.

[A]

What, what, what is the most engaging part for you?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

What are you interested the most in this part of the dating thing? Of this, like this. This little nook of time?

[B]

Okay, well, there's.

[A]

Is it the banter?

[B]

No, no, it's. Here's what I look for the negatives. Okay.

[A]

Body dysmorphia again.

[B]

No, it's not about dysmorphia.

[A]

Only looking for the negatives.

[B]

No, no, no. Like, you know, I mean, does she have a drinking problem? Right, right. Because, you know, I mean, we had that problem before.

[A]

We did.

[B]

Right. So you go. Okay. You can kind of sense how much do you party?

[A]

Oh. Do you party?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you said. What if they say I party sometimes?

[B]

Okay, you be the girl. I'll ask.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Are we on FaceTime right now?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Hold on. I can't. Do you see me? There's always that.

[A]

Can you hear me?

[B]

No. No. You're like, kind of in and out. Oh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not.

[A]

But, no.

[B]

Oh, I see you now.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Hi. Sorry.

[A]

Oh, my God. You're so much cuter than I thought you were.

[B]

Yeah, you, too. Wow. Yeah.

[A]

What's up?

[B]

Yeah, what's. I mean, what's going on?

[A]

This is it.

[B]

The game master again.

[A]

What? What?

[B]

The game master? Yeah, yeah, the game master. No, it's on design. You.

[A]

It's by design.

[B]

It's by design. I mean, it's by design. Right. Make it awkward.

[A]

Hey, is that. Are you in your place? Is that your place behind you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's cat poop on the couch. Yeah, that's cool.

[B]

I have cats.

[A]

Is that a design thing?

[B]

Yeah, it's a design thing. It's all by design.

[A]

So what do you want to know about me, Bobby? Yeah.

[B]

So you do a lot of yoga, huh?

[A]

Five or six days a week.

[B]

Oh, that's great.

[A]

Well, I'm a yoga teacher, so that.

[B]

Oh. Oh, dude, you know, I'll be honest with you. Um, I had an instructor during COVID Her name was Kara from Hawaii, and I did a lot of yoga. And it really. I just felt like that was the best time I've ever felt in my life.

[A]

I don't know if I care about other girls, hearing about other girls.

[B]

No, she was my. My yoga instructor. Happened to be a woman.

[A]

Sure. But I don't. Yeah, it's about me right now. Not Cara.

[B]

Sensitive, huh?

[A]

A little bit, yeah. My last boyfriend was. My last boyfriend cheated on me with a yoga instructor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I became a yoga instructor.

[B]

Is that why.

[A]

Yeah, I was a kindergarten teacher before this.

[B]

That's weird.

[A]

It's a little strange.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But I mean, you're a little strange.

[B]

Yeah. You know, it's like, you know, my ex girlfriend was a hitman, you know, and cheated me with a hitman, and now I'm a hitman. You know, it doesn't make any.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, bye. I mean, you took it there already. It's weird.

[A]

I feel like that's a real conversation. That would happen.

[B]

I. I don't think that she would say, like, I don't want to talk about your female yoga instructor. That's weird.

[A]

Maybe she doesn't want to.

[B]

All right, let's.

[A]

She might be insecure.

[B]

Let's rewind. Yeah. My male yoga instructor.

[A]

Oh, cool. So you love yoga? I still do it.

[B]

No, I haven't done it yet. Well, I'm just so busy.

[A]

Maybe if we hang out, we can do yoga together.

[B]

I would love to. I'd like to start back up again.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

You could teach me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that'd be fun. Yeah. In fact, I could even, you know, pay a little something to classes online.

[A]

I don't want money. I just. I want your company.

[B]

Wow, that's cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. What else do you do?

[A]

I don't know. Like, I like yoga. I like getting matcha lattes in the morning.

[B]

You look at the matcha latte?

[A]

I love them.

[B]

Oh, who doesn't love a matcha?

[A]

I love them. I like taking long walks. I have seven dogs.

[B]

Seven dogs?

[A]

Well, they're not mine. I'm a dog. I'm. I walk people's dogs.

[B]

Oh, that's cool. So it's a side. Like a side hustle?

[A]

Yeah, it's a little side job. Yeah, Yeah, I have a bunch of side jobs.

[B]

I have four dogs.

[A]

Oh, you do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd love to walk your dogs.

[B]

It's impossible. They're in my freezer.

[A]

Oh, yeah?

[B]

Yeah, they're frozen solid.

[A]

Is that lunch?

[B]

No. Oh, Ariel.

[A]

Oh. You okay?

[B]

When it's my time.

[A]

Cool. You like to party?

[B]

What?

[A]

Do you like to party?

[B]

I'm sober.

[A]

Who are you looking at in your house? You keep looking over there in your house. Is there someone there?

[B]

No. I'll be honest with you, sweetheart. Can I call you sweetheart? Please, yeah.

[A]

My dad used to call me sweetheart.

[B]

Well, that's weird, because my dad's ghost is next to me.

[A]

Really?

[B]

That's what I'm looking at.

[A]

Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to?

[B]

Yep, that's him.

[A]

Who is that?

[B]

It's my dad.

[A]

Tell him I said hi.

[B]

Anyway. Anyway, bye. No, no, don't go. What was your last relationship?

[A]

I was married. I was. I was married for two and a half years. Wow.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

I mean, we got a divorce. It was my third marriage.

[B]

You've been married three times, huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Kids?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, how many?

[A]

I have four with my first husband, two with my second husband, and I'm pregnant right now.

[B]

Click.

[A]

Yeah, I got.

[B]

I'm out.

[A]

You don't want to be a dad with me.

[B]

Seven kids?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. Three different.

[B]

No, there's no way.

[A]

No, but they're all involved.

[B]

Okay, who's involved? The kids are involved with what?

[A]

No, no. The dads are all involved in their lives. They're all wonderful men.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to meet them.

[A]

They're all NBA players.

[B]

Yeah. I have, you know, to be honest with you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I had a girl that hit me up, you know, recently.

[A]

Are we talking as us now? Are we out of the bit?

[B]

I'm telling the girl. I'm telling the girl.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who? You know what I mean? All her boyfriends were like NBA players. And I couldn't do it.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because it's like, you know, I don't know if it shrinks back, you know.

[A]

Oh, it does. But I'm still interested in you, you know?

[B]

I don't know about Bobby.

[A]

You know how sometimes.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know if it shrinks back, you know?

[A]

You know, sometimes you only want half a sandwich.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the kind of stage I'm at right now.

[B]

And you want some soup to half a soup?

[A]

I would love. I would love to have soup, half sandwich.

[B]

You like creamy soup?

[A]

I love.

[B]

Okay. All right. With clams in it. Yeah, I got clams in mine.

[A]

That is funny. That's when a girl goes from NBA players back to regular guys. That is the order.

[B]

Dominoes. Hey, how you doing? Hey, hey.

[A]

Hey, Tone, how you doing?

[B]

I'm pretty good around here.

[A]

Okay, good. I got some Domino's pizza.

[B]

Well, you got one of those specialty pizzas.

[A]

I got a special day pizza. This has Italian sausage on it. Pepperoni, little bit of ham. Yeah, but a ham on this is the meatza. Yeah, Italian sausage, pepperoni, ham, all beef sandwich between two layers of provolone cheese made 100% mozzarella.

[B]

Oh, you know what I got?

[A]

What do you got?

[B]

Frank Extravaganza, my friend. Dud. We got. Check this out. I tell you what they got, man. Pepperoni, ham, Italian sausage, beef, fresh onions, fresh green peppers, fresh mushrooms, black olives, all sandwiched between two layers of provolone and cheese made up with 100% real. Most real.

[A]

Mamma mia. And I'll tell you this, the guys love it, too. Carlos, which was your favorite? What's your favorite Domino's pizza that we've had in the studio?

[B]

Specialty one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Spinach and feta.

[A]

Spinach and feta. See, he's always looking out for his weight. He wants to have a thin little waist spinach and feta a little healthier. I like the spicy chicken and bacon ranch. Load it up. Give it to me. Okay.

[B]

Hey, bro. Welcome to Hawaii, dude. Right? Honolulu Wakaliki. Wakaliki.

[A]

Makaliki. Wakaliki.

[B]

Honolulu Hawaiian, bro.

[A]

The Honolulu Hawaiian.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Delicious. You're a big fan of pineapple on pizza.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Never ending debate. But Bobby Lee loves Hawaiian pizza.

[B]

Like I also like did Pacific veggie, dude.

[A]

Yeah. When you're on state healthier down by the beach. Yeah, by the beach. And I'm listening to Sublime and I want myself a pizza. I'm gonna get myself a Pacific veggie, dude.

[B]

That's right, dude. Anyway, dude, dude, check out Domino's new specialty pizzas.

[A]

You know, Domino's specialty pizzas are delicious, unique and fun. And they got all sorts of new stuff. Like we said, the people's pizza deluxe, spicy chicken, bacon ranch, the ultimate pepperoni, Memphis barbecue chicken. They got it all. Plus Wisconsin. Shout out to my old neighbors of the north with six cheese. Wisconsin.

[B]

I didn't even know there was six cheese.

[A]

Me neither, dude. I can only name four of them, but Domino's has got them, so you got to try them out today. Order yourself some dominoes.

[B]

Guys, this is my new flavor flavor from Kachava. Let me. As you guys know, right, I'm a huge fan of this brand. I think that all of their flavors taste like what they're advertising. I think all the nutrients, you know, I feel so much better when I drink it, right? And this new flavor that I have is called chocolate mint and I love it so much. All right, tell them about Cachava.

[A]

My Chia has 25 grams of 100 plant based protein including 6 indulgent flavors of chocolate, vanilla, chai matcha, coconut, acai, strawberry and of course that chocolate mint. That is so very good. It's all the good stuff your mind and body need. I feel so much lighter, clearer and healthier. Thanks to Cachava.

[B]

It's a whole body meal with plant based protein that actually tastes delicious. 25 grams of 100% plant based proteins. 6 indulgent flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, chai matcha, coconut, acai and strawberry dog.

[A]

Artificial flavors in there, no artificial coloring, no sweeteners, non gmo, no soy, no animal products, no gluten and no preservatives. If you are looking to feel good and and eat good, your future self will thank you. Go to cachava.com and use the code bad friends for 15% off your next order.

[B]

That's cacava k a c h a v a dot com code. Bad friends for 50% off. Close your eyes.

[A]

Exhale.

[B]

Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry.

[A]

That I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[B]

And breathe. Sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[B]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[A]

1-800-Contacts. I was scared coming in today.

[B]

Me too, man.

[A]

No, no, no flying in today.

[B]

Me too, man.

[A]

The rain. I got scared. I was. It was bad raining, dude. It was crazy raining. And it was. It was raining in clouds. I was leaving Phoenix for this storm that just passed and then coming into here, and I was like, I hate it. I hate little baby planes in the sky.

[B]

You took a private plane?

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. It just. It was a. What do you call, regional jet. You know, where it's, like, not a lot of seats.

[B]

And I was like, Buddy Holly style.

[A]

Yeah, I got a little nervous about it. I hate that. I don't mind if.

[B]

Richie Val.

[A]

Richie Valance?

[B]

Yeah, Richie Valance. He died, too. And the Big Bopper.

[A]

The Big Popper?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know much about him, do you?

[A]

I don't know anything about the Big Bopper other than the name is fun.

[B]

Yeah. But I know about Richie. And.

[A]

You know about Richie Valance?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you know about him?

[B]

What do you mean? I saw the movie Labamba. What.

[A]

What do you remember about him?

[B]

I remember he had a brother who was a cartoonist. You remember? Yeah, yeah. Donna was the white girl in high school that he was in love with. Right. And there was, like, they couldn't get together because of racial discriminations from the. Her family side of the family.

[A]

Isn't that sad that the family would. Would do that to you?

[B]

Even he is a rock star. And they're like, no. No way. Yeah.

[A]

You know, we gotta bring that back.

[B]

What?

[A]

Racial discrimination.

[B]

But that's still kind of out there.

[A]

Parents that don't let you date the other race. I'm sure if.

[B]

No, I mean, like, you know, you'll go to, like, Dantana's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. And you'll just be at the bar eating a spaghetti. And then you'll go. You'll turn to, you know, me and a couple of Hollywood. Hollywood socialites, that's. They're always there.

[A]

They're always there.

[B]

Right at that place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go, hey, what are you eating?

[A]

And they're like, they don't know you.

[B]

What do you mean? I'm. Fuck you, man.

[A]

No, if they knew.

[B]

I'll tell you something.

[A]

If they knew you.

[B]

No, I'm a human being, dude. Just acknowledge my presence.

[A]

They don't need to. You're at the bar. Dan Tana's. That's Socialite Express. If you didn't want that, go sit at a table by yourself.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So you're begging for the attention. You want it. That's why you went up to.

[B]

No, there was no seats the one time that I went there.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

All we have is the bar. So I'm eating the spaghetti and go, hey, what you eating thing? You know? And they just completely ignore you.

[A]

Didn't want to engage.

[B]

That's. I think you know what I mean either. I don't know what. To me. I always.

[A]

You think it's.

[B]

Perceive it as racism.

[A]

That's not racism. You're a guy, they're a girl, they don't want to talk to you.

[B]

You don't think that's racism? A little. Not at Dantanas. They know you got money. So if I was James. If I look like. If I look like James Franco, you think they'd still do it?

[A]

Well, he's better looking.

[B]

All right.

[A]

It's based on.

[B]

All right.

[A]

It's not race. It's. Look, by the way, if you were Michael B. Jordan, they'd be talking to you. And he's black.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

These are white girls.

[B]

Benedict Wong.

[A]

They would ignore him. No.

[B]

All right, let me throw the names out.

[A]

You throw a name, I'll tell you. If the two white girls would talk to.

[B]

Okay, east side. Morales.

[A]

Absolutely. Yes. They talk.

[B]

They would talk to Esai.

[A]

100%.

[B]

Even though he's Hispanic?

[A]

Yeah. He's handsome.

[B]

Okay. When he was alive, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

[A]

Do they know who he is or no? No, they don't know. They won't talk to him.

[B]

Wow. Yeah. They don't know who Jack Black is.

[A]

Jack Black. They'll talk to. They know him.

[B]

But if they didn't.

[A]

They do. Everybody does.

[B]

I know.

[A]

That's too famous. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's a tough one. How about Jeffrey Jones?

[A]

Yeah, probably.

[B]

You know what that is?

[A]

Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. From Ferris Bueller. Yeah. From Ferris Wheeler. Jeffrey Jones.

[A]

The principal.

[B]

The principal. Principal.

[A]

Is he still in prison?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Is that antennas?

[A]

He's out. He's at Dantana's right now? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's probably working at Dantana's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did you do this weekend?

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Do you have a busy weekend?

[B]

Oh, boy. Yeah, I'm doing a lot of special prep with Louie.

[A]

Is he in town?

[B]

Yeah, a lot of special.

[A]

Our buddy Louis Katz, who's like one of the things.

[B]

We're gonna sing a song.

[A]

Are you writing the song?

[B]

Yeah, we're writing the song.

[A]

Is it the Closer?

[B]

Yeah. And then there's a whole nother thing. I don't know if I. I'll give it away, but.

[A]

Well, you don't have to.

[B]

Yeah. There's going to be a little thing with my dad.

[A]

How'd you get him?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you book them?

[B]

No, I'm going to play him.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is going to be great.

[B]

It's going to be a three dimensional face of me.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. That's like a hologram on stage and there's a conversation between him and I.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Do you write the conversation already?

[B]

Yeah, it's done.

[A]

Oh. I want to say.

[B]

And we tried it on stage in San Francisco.

[A]

How was that?

[B]

We had audio, so he had a button. So it's, you know, I mean, we pretended like he was there and then I. You know, and we did it back when it got laughs.

[A]

It was good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you cry?

[B]

There's a crying thing in like a little like a moment in there.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

But, yeah, I mean, all that. But it's, it's. It. There's. I've never. I don't know if you felt this, but I've never felt this much anxiety in my life. Like even, like technical things like we got a dp. It's like, I don't care.

[A]

Well, that's why you hired people to take care of.

[B]

Yeah. Yes. But they tell me about it, you know, man, set design, this and that, you know, I mean, and it's like it. It causes me so much anxiety. I don't even know what. I don't know why.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You felt that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's. It's nerve wracking.

[B]

It's nerve wracking.

[A]

It sucks. But I mean.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You trust people around you. You hire you. Hi. What you do, you hire good people who are talented that you trust, which we haven't done on this show. But we will get to it at some point.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hiring talented people. But then you. They just do all the stuff that you. They have your vision in mind and you let them complete it.

[B]

Yeah. And I think I picked the right director because he. This is his shot.

[A]

Right? That's great.

[B]

And he's so. Now he's so, like, locked. Locked in and just on it.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

You know, I mean. And he wants it to be so good. So he's very strict with me.

[A]

That's good. Yeah, that's what you want.

[B]

Like, how come you didn't do that joke tonight? It's not really flushed out yet. You have to do it. So he makes me do it.

[A]

Yeah, you got it. See this? Yeah. I'm so glad that he's doing that.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

What a good journey.

[B]

Yeah, it's a good journey.

[A]

So you worked on it all weekend?

[B]

Yeah. So that. And just a lot of video gaming.

[A]

A lot of video gaming.

[B]

Yeah. Too much. Because when I'm in anxiety, you know, I. Because I'm not masturbating anymore to porn. So that's there. That. There goes that.

[A]

Are you masturbating in general? No, to nothing now. Why is that?

[B]

I only alleviate. Me myself in front of women.

[A]

She only enjoy you only.

[B]

And that's rare. So it's like.

[A]

I don't know if it's the word.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Release or in front of. Yes, release. Rephrase this.

[A]

I would say. I would say anytime you're.

[B]

It's ejaculating.

[A]

It's only for sexual relations with. With someone.

[B]

What's so funny? Release.

[A]

Yeah, release.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like they're prisoners or something. No.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like I release the hostages from the gulag. Release the prisoners from the gulag. Let them out the way I say.

[A]

They gotta get out.

[B]

Well, if you look at my sperm, they're. They're wearing helmets and little swords. I mean, they're not.

[A]

They're fighters.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, they're fighters. Yeah, yeah. They're survivors when they swim. I'm being real. Look at mine. Some of them are sleeping.

[A]

Well, bring some in.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm thinking that one of the warriors will get in when I have a baby one day. Yeah. Yeah. So that's my gut bat.

[A]

You'll make a warrior.

[B]

I think I have warrior blood in my. In my. Do you DNA? Yeah.

[A]

Is there. Look up. Is there a history of a warrior with a last name Lee, by any chance?

[B]

Because my great, great, great grandfather was the royal commander of the Korean army or whatever. Wow.

[A]

Asian Lee? Yeah. Bruce Lee?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Henry Light Horse Harry Lee?

[B]

Yeah. Dude, you don't know Lighthorse?

[A]

Yeah, I know Lighthorse.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I know Heavy Horse a little bit better. But do Asianly Bruce Lee, outside. Okay, zoom in. There's a very famous Asian warrior, last name Kurt Chu. And Lee, the very first Asian commissioned officer in the U.S. marine Corps, known for his heroics in the Korean War. Wow.

[B]

So that's.

[A]

That's your.

[B]

Well, no, go back in the beginning. Right. His name is Kurt Chu.

[A]

It's a sneeze.

[B]

Right? Yeah, but you know that Kurt was his English name.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He probably chose it too. They were like, hey, Chu, get back in line. Right. Call me Court.

[A]

Maybe he liked Kurt Cobain.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

And that's why.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[A]

Is he still alive? Hit that Wikipedia.

[B]

He's not. He died in 24. No. God bless you.

[A]

God bless you.

[B]

Thank you for your service.

[A]

Look at how many.

[B]

Oh, my God. Look at him. Look at all the metals decorated. Yeah. Why are you laughing, dude? I'm not laughing at him.

[A]

You know what I always found strange about the metals is just because this is, like, my ocd.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're always on one side. I think they should be balanced. Why wouldn't it be symmetrical?

[B]

Yeah, right?

[A]

Wouldn't you have layers of metals on both sides? That to me.

[B]

But imagine if. If they could just place them whenever, wherever they wanted. That would drive me crazy.

[A]

Oh, no, I think that'd look cool.

[B]

Like, one here, one here, one here, three in the back. I mean, it would drive me.

[A]

Looks like a NASCAR car.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I like it. That it's clumped together on one side.

[A]

We're. We're pretty close, by the way, for our military being sponsored by businesses to where they're wearing jerseys with their names.

[B]

Oh, right, right.

[A]

Like the military. Like the Marine Corps. Sponsored by, like, Tide pods or something like that. Or Chick Fil A. Yeah, that'. You know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's like Nashville's. Nashville. Hot chicken.

[B]

Can you zoom in at the medals, please?

[A]

Yeah, it would be interesting. Over what. Who got sponsored. Yeah, There he is.

[B]

Yeah. So what. Do you know what these medals mean?

[A]

You know, I don't know what those.

[B]

Oh, do you. Anyone in the room knows what they mean.

[A]

Honor, valor. I think it's. I think it's for. I'm not even gonna guess. I think, like, service during certain either times of battle or what.

[B]

Find a guy who has the most medals. I want to see how deep it goes.

[A]

His neck is just hanging so heavy on his chest. Who's a military. Who in the military has had the most metal, the most awarded veteran, most decorated veteran?

[B]

On the jacket, though, we need.

[A]

Wait, time out before you do this. Stop.

[B]

You Want to guess?

[A]

I think. I think it's Audie Murphy. I think Audie Murphy was the most decorated war veteran in American history. I may. And that might be wrong. Audie Murphy. Wow. Wow. That's pretty fucking awesome.

[B]

Can we see his. Whoa.

[A]

He was the most decorated war vet. Isn't that amazing?

[B]

Oh, really? He got the draggy kind, like the.

[A]

Like, he should be jeweled. He should have a man bag with him.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Put all those medals in.

[B]

But go to that photo right below in the colored one. The third row to the very far right. Jesus, look at. No, not that one. The far right. When he's old.

[A]

That's not him. That's another guy.

[B]

Dude, I want to see that guy.

[A]

Anyway, but click on. That's Audie Murphy.

[B]

Yeah. I don't like it when they're, like, bedazzled like that. Well, I like. What, the little cubes.

[A]

No, see, I think.

[B]

I think this is, like, the Chiclet kind.

[A]

This is little, real metals.

[B]

You like that? I like this.

[A]

Yeah. Audie Murphy, I knew, is the most decorated war veteran in American history. The only reason I know that is because I. I've seen his house.

[B]

How he's.

[A]

He used to live in this neighborhood.

[B]

This neighborhood right here.

[A]

In this neighborhood.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah. How do you. How else would I know that? Weird fact. He used to have a plaque outside his house that said this was the home of Audie Murphy. Commissioned as a. And historic site. The most decorated war veteran. Veteran in American history. The house is no longer there. They ripped it down, but they kept this brick thing out front that says, the most decorated war veteran.

[B]

Wow. What year did he die? 71. Oh, my. When I was born.

[A]

But he lived here in this neighborhood.

[B]

That's incredible. So I was at the Antennas last night, and I was talking to this guy who's been there. This old man was sitting there, and he was like, hey, kid. Love the comedy. I go, whoa, what's your name? My name is Robert. I've been coming here since the 60s. Wow. And I go, what happened here? You can get whites, downs. I mean, the blue pill, right at this bar. You can get anything you want at this bar.

[A]

Not anymore.

[B]

No. Anymore you just get spaghetti and bolognese. That's all you can get. You know what I mean? But, like, pounded chicken or whatever, but, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Back in the. You walk down the street, man, oh, my God, you can get laid just by walking out.

[A]

He's still living in the old times in his mind.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Back when Santa Monica. He could hustle. Was he gay?

[B]

No, no. Does this sound gay to you? No, no, this is. This is Steve McQueen, man.

[A]

I mean, that's the gayest part of West Hollywood.

[B]

It is in West Hollywood. But listen to my voice.

[A]

Oh, I hear it now. Yeah. And what did you chat with?

[B]

And he had a. He had a. You know how they have this.

[A]

Yeah. One bad eye.

[B]

Yeah. But they're just, you know, man. Hey, kid. You know they always call you kid.

[A]

Well, because you are. To him.

[B]

To him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, kiddo, back in my day, everyone sat here. I mean, like, who's everyone?

[A]

You name them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Greta Garbo.

[B]

No, like Flip Wilson.

[A]

Oh, Flip Wilson.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, Flip Wilson. You know, I mean, and then.

[A]

And then they had guys that you didn't even know, but they were local. Legendary.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He used to come here all the time.

[B]

Do want to.

[A]

You know, I mean, started tory college. Yeah.

[B]

You know, you know, you know. You know the tennis shoes where you. You put the loops in the metal. The metal hole?

[A]

That's him.

[B]

Yeah. He put the metals in that. You know what I mean? And you're like, oh, I don't give a.

[A]

Did you ask what the man did for a living? Like, who was he? Was he a musician?

[B]

But what I do, I buy property for people. Commercial real estate.

[A]

So you buy.

[B]

I don't do risks. I don't do high risks.

[A]

What does that mean? You use someone else's money. You broker the.

[B]

I broker the deals.

[A]

You broker.

[B]

This is what he told me last night. I go at 80. You do that? Still do it, kid. He wasn't smoking, but it's hitting. He's hitting, but he wanted to.

[A]

Breathing machine. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And then a bunch of young, like 30 year old, you know, fur coats. Robert.

[A]

They knew him.

[B]

Yeah. And they all like hogged him. And I did a weird laugh. I'm like.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't know why I got so nervous.

[A]

Uncomfortable.

[B]

Girls. Yeah. I did a weird laugh. And he goes, see you later, kid. You know what I mean?

[A]

He had a girl on each arm. Yeah.

[B]

And he walks out of this thing and I go, can I have a spaghetti bolognese? Do you have whites, reds or blues? Just pound a chicken.

[A]

Pound of chicken. All right.

[B]

Yeah, but that was. Yeah. I love Dantana's, though.

[A]

I don't ever eat there.

[B]

Why? It's so cool in there.

[A]

It's. It's cool, but I. The food is not good.

[B]

It's okay for late night. It's okay.

[A]

It's fine.

[B]

This is so Hollywood. I mean, the reason why is. When I first moved to la, I moved. I went to Dante and I couldn't even afford it, but I like, I spent hundreds of dollars there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I just heard it was a legendary place. And I remember seeing Leo and all those guys there.

[A]

Yeah, right. That was like their hand.

[B]

And I never saw them again there.

[A]

And now you can go. But now you're Leo to someone else.

[B]

Well, it's funny because I remember the. When I first. In the 90s, late 90s, went to Dan Tanner's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't even be like, get in. I was a kid. Hey, kid, you can't get in. But now, like, they kiss me on the cheeks and stuff.

[A]

Who does?

[B]

The host.

[A]

The host kisses you on the cheeks?

[B]

Yeah. Hey, Bobby, welcome back. Me, Kenneth. Thanks. On the cheeks. Did you bring that bag with you? Dude, you're gonna make me mad about that.

[A]

Don't do it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So. So Kenneth kisses you on the cheeks.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good stuff online guy. You know what I mean?

[A]

He loves your online stuff.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And then, you know me. And then I'll have like an old lady goes, young man, you do podcasts? I go. I do. If I've seen it, it's probably good. Wow. That's what she said, right? But it's. It's got this old timey, Hollywoody. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah, it's. It's old school.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It is very old school. And it's once a while you go and you know, I don't want to go.

[B]

We should go together.

[A]

I don't want to.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I don't like.

[B]

You love places like that.

[A]

I do, but the food's got it.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

Dude, the food's got to be good.

[B]

That guy, the Taylor Swift guy. That's the photo.

[A]

Yeah. We wouldn't be caught dead.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Santana's look. That's what they all look like. Robert, a kid. This is. Come on, guy. You love those places.

[A]

I like good food. You could.

[B]

I know, but it's okay.

[A]

It's not good.

[B]

All right?

[A]

It's. It's pretty basic spaghetti for Italian restaurants in la.

[B]

Yeah, that.

[A]

That place is for the hang.

[B]

Yeah, but it's so close to the Comedy Store.

[A]

It is pretty close.

[B]

Right? And then, you know, it's a two minute drive.

[A]

I go to Night Market before I go there, though.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Better food.

[B]

I don't even know what Night Market is.

[A]

Oh, right up the street. Literally up the street from where you're talking.

[B]

It's open late.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. No one's ever brought me there. To the night market?

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You've never had night market?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, come on, dude. It's right on Sunset. It's up. It's literally up the street from what you're talking.

[B]

And what time do they close?

[A]

Midnight or one.

[B]

Now close that. Well, it's a Sunday, so. What time is it now?

[A]

10:00 clock on Sunday.

[B]

Okay, but on a weekend, they close late.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I didn't know.

[A]

Oh, you got.

[B]

Well, take me there.

[A]

I'll take you there.

[B]

Because when you finish your shows, you never take me nowhere.

[A]

I ask you all the time to go get food, but then you want. You go. No, no, I'm going alone. You would you do that all the time?

[B]

Yeah, because where I want to go, you're not gonna drive that far.

[A]

How far?

[B]

Like one time you came to the Koreatown I love. A month ago.

[A]

Yeah, that's fine.

[B]

We went to Agassi. Gopcheong.

[A]

Agassi.

[B]

Remember? You were there with. Who were you with? Your friend.

[A]

Who? You know what's so fucked up? My brain. I just. I like, I can't believe I just drew a blank when you're telling that story. Who I brought.

[B]

I do the same thing now. You're getting old.

[A]

Yeah. Am I old when you're 42? 42, yeah. What is that? Memory changes around 40. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That sucks.

[B]

I'm 54, dude.

[A]

Yeah, but you have a better memory.

[B]

I can remember the girl I was dating his last Blue Chew. Daddy. Old Daddy. System breaking down. Daddy needs some help around. That's why I use Blue Chew. Let me tell you something right now, right? 54 years old, right? Sexually active, all right? And sometimes, you know what I mean, I need a little help. I take Blue Chew, I chew it. Tell them about it.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

That's fast.

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

We're all in for a very big Christmas treat.

[B]

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[A]

I feel like my. My brain is going cuckoo. You know what? It also is?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The last couple of days haven't been able to get any sleep I like. And. And I laid in bed, got horizontal last night. I put on my little heating pad. I got a little heating pad. Now I'm getting old.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I put on my little electronic heating pad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Near my tushy. And then I got on my phone, I started reading and I thought, I'm gonna be able to read and go to sleep. No, couldn't go to sleep.

[B]

How many hours?

[A]

How many. When was I up till?

[B]

How many hours you get last night?

[A]

Three.

[B]

Wow. It's so funny.

[A]

I couldn't sleep.

[B]

I got three, too.

[A]

Maybe you and I are on the same. We're on our same cycle. The girls sync up. You and I are.

[B]

Yeah, I got three. Two last night.

[A]

I just couldn't get to sleep.

[B]

And I was. You know what's the worst? Is when you're so tired.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

You need to go to sleep. I was exhausted and I took trazodone which is my dog tranquilizer. No, it's like a. It's a non addictive.

[A]

Just say yes when I say that.

[B]

See, I can't even. Yes. And right now.

[A]

I know. Yeah. My wife just went to the doctor, by the way, and they offered her pain. He was like, oh, and also, do you need pain medication? She was like, no. And I was like, you say yes. You always say yes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's good to have.

[B]

For you.

[A]

For me?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, for the house. Yeah, for the house.

[A]

It's like when you get pancakes for the table. Yeah, for the house.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Get drugs for the house. Just so when someone comes over, we got a little something to have.

[B]

Yeah. I. I went out of the grocery store. What do I pick up every time? Rice. I don't eat rice, but I have two Asians living in the house. You need it, you get the rice.

[A]

Get the rice.

[B]

Spam. Whatever they need, you need to get the rice. Yeah. You know, I mean, nuts. You know what I mean? Or whatever.

[A]

Love nuts.

[B]

Yeah, well, Filipinos, they love the nuts.

[A]

Well, they got a lot of nuts.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So, like, you. You get it. Even though you're not gonna. You have to be mindful about other people.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Pay attention.

[B]

Pay attention.

[A]

Pay attention.

[B]

You have to be mindful about other people. Yeah, I do that a lot, you know?

[A]

You do. You're very generous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did you guys do this weekend? What did you do this weekend?

[B]

Carlos went to the Ice House last night. Jaime had a show.

[A]

Jaime had a show at the Ice House. And you went to support. Yeah, he doesn't come to support us. You notice that? Bob.

[B]

He does.

[A]

He does.

[B]

You know, Came to support me. Lesson.

[A]

You come to support Bob. You go to Bob shows at the Comedy Store.

[B]

I've been there so many times. So many times. Yeah.

[A]

Never for me.

[B]

You know who you.

[A]

A million times go up 20 years ago.

[B]

I also. Jules came to the main room last night.

[A]

Oh, she did?

[B]

She's never been there.

[A]

She's trying to get up, huh?

[B]

No, she brought 10 people.

[A]

What? Really?

[B]

Yeah. It was crazy. I couldn't believe it.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And I. I had to kill. And I walked by her table and she goes, you did good.

[A]

She knows.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've seen you before.

[B]

Yeah, but she doesn't. She doesn't give it up.

[A]

She doesn't. That's not what she does.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what I love about her. Okay. Can I. Can I tell you I sent you a tick tock. You See it?

[A]

What'd you send me?

[B]

It's a 90s furniture local advertisement commercial. And it's. Something about it just made me feel so happy.

[A]

Send it to him. I want to see it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Send it to who?

[A]

The guy to put it up on the screen.

[B]

Yeah. There's just something about, like, race. Race relations that was the purest back then. The 90s. Yeah. It's. No, but it's a love. Right. But it wasn't what it is now, and I want to go back to this time. I'm Richard, AKA Big Head. I'm at the Red House, and I'm black. I like pumping iron and pumping furniture into people's homes. I'm Johnny, AKA Teengage. I work at the Red House, and I'm white. I like deer hunting, bass fishing, and extending credit to all people. I'm black, and I love the Red House. I'm white, and I love the Red House.

[A]

I'm a black woman, and I love the Red House.

[B]

I am white, and the Red House is for me at the Red House.

[A]

This has got to be a comedy sketch team that did this.

[B]

No, it's real. Look at the sofa. It's perfect for a black person or a white person. This mattress is perfect for a white person or a black person.

[A]

Big pause.

[B]

They were guests on Tiger Belly, like, two weeks ago. Wait, this is not real.

[A]

It's a sketch. This is like when my dad sends me an AI video.

[B]

I'm so embarrassed.

[A]

This is like when my dad sends me an AI of, like, Kobe cussing out someone in, like, a Sora video, you know? Jesus, dude.

[B]

Oh, my God. I thought it was.

[A]

I knew that. I was like, this got to be a comedy sketch scene.

[B]

I thought this was a real, like, wow. You mean.

[A]

But, But. But your. But your innocence is good because it is a good commercial.

[B]

Yeah, I was.

[A]

I would go to the Red House after seeing this.

[B]

Yeah. I go, wow, they really got along, Like, shaking hands, you know what I mean? I was like, this is great.

[A]

This is good. It's good for progress.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like a fool that.

[A]

Don't.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Please don't.

[B]

I feel so embarrassed. I'm going inside myself again.

[A]

Don't.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Damn it, dude. I'm a fool. Are you sure that's them?

[A]

Couldn't be more sure.

[B]

Okay, my bad.

[A]

It's okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm excited for right now? I get to go home tonight and have my favorite soup. Let me get. It's soup season, dog. It's soup. Season now. Now that's a crisp bear. If you can see your breath. In la, it's soup season.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm excited about soup season.

[B]

Let me tell you about it.

[A]

I'd even invite some of you pigs over because my wife cooks my favorite soup and we don't get it all year until now.

[B]

Can I guess what it is?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Does it. Can I name the vegetable or that.

[A]

You can name the ingredients.

[B]

Pumpkin.

[A]

No. No pumpkin.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I do not. I don't enjoy pumpkin.

[B]

Is there squash in it?

[A]

Nope.

[B]

Okay. Split pea?

[A]

Nope. Strike free.

[B]

I love split pee.

[A]

We love. She makes zupa toscana noodles. No. Oh, no, there's noodles. Look at it right there. So pataskana.

[B]

She makes it good.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's like potato chunks. It's spicy Italian sausage.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Some people use kale. I don't like kale.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But it's so good, dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And by the way, you pour that over a little bit of rice, your people.

[B]

Yum, yum, yum.

[A]

Unreal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll tell you, I had a wagyu bim bimbop bowl last night for dinner.

[B]

Wow. Where?

[A]

At that place that I went to in Phoenix.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

The girl next to me goes, what is that? What is that? And I go, it's a Caesar salad. It's a smoking bowl. And she goes, what is that? I go, caesar salad.

[B]

But my favorite kind of bibimbap has to be the hot pot. Oh, dude, it has to be that stone pot. Because the rice.

[A]

Crisps at the bottom.

[B]

Crisp at the bottom. Dude. You get one sand dog.

[A]

And my favorite thing is when you peel that off at the bottom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you get that crunchy crunch.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Name me some soups that you. That you absolutely love and that you hate. Top soup for Bobby.

[B]

Okay. For me is Tom Yum. No, dude, that's rude.

[A]

Sweet and sour.

[B]

No.

[A]

Dragon's breath soup.

[B]

Dang Jung jig.

[A]

Dang Jung jiggae.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You've given me that.

[B]

Yeah. Dang jigga I like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Any jigga is kimchi or deng Jung. I like.

[A]

I like all the jiggas.

[B]

I like all the jiggas.

[A]

Any jiggas I like.

[B]

Okay. And then. But the Americana ones. Yeah, I'm a big fan of. Yeah, Right. Judge me if you want.

[A]

No, no. There's gonna be some hot takes, but sure.

[B]

The chicken noodle soup from Erewhon. Oh, yeah. It's just with the big.

[A]

No.

[B]

But with the thick noodles.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

To have it in your fridge. And as an emergency little meal.

[A]

That's your favorite.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

What's your favorite, Carlos?

[B]

Split pee. I'm not done with my favorite.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Excuse me. What? Fideo.

[A]

Fideo.

[B]

A good split pea.

[A]

I don't like split pea.

[B]

Yeah. Corn chowder.

[A]

I can go if it's a 50. 50.

[B]

Yeah, but clam chowder with Tabasco sauce. Oh, bro. Right. Come on, baby.

[A]

I can't do clam chowder.

[B]

Yeah. Why?

[A]

Because I don't like clams in bloop.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's what it looks like. They were like. I don't want to do that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Clams are their own thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like spaghetti clams. Fine. If they're still in the shell.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Spaghetti clams. You've taken. Yeah, but you like.

[B]

You.

[A]

You do clam chowder.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

I wouldn't have pinned that for you, a clam chowder guy.

[B]

It has to be, like. You have to be in Seattle, where they do it good.

[A]

Well, it's from New England.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The opposite side of the country, but.

[B]

Seattle has some good spots there.

[A]

Oh, it's got. It's got. It's a seafood. It's a seafood. Yeah.

[B]

Port town is what I'm saying. I know they're fights from New England. Right. But I'm saying, you know, I mean, I've never been to New England, so the. The other port town I've been to is in Seattle.

[A]

It's still the same.

[B]

All right, so I don't like the judgment.

[A]

Give me that. Sacramento clam chowder. I don't like matzo ball soup. It's. It is a lump in the middle. Get the. Out of here.

[B]

But if you get the extras in it, it's good.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

If you go to, like, Cantors or something, you can get noodles in it.

[A]

Yeah. But then just take the ball out. Then it's chicken noodle soup.

[B]

I like the ball.

[A]

What do you do with that thing? You don't eat that. That's a lump.

[B]

I know, but it's like, you know, cosmetic.

[A]

I hate it. Look at that thing.

[B]

Like, big ball.

[A]

Don't need it. It's taking up space.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like when a couch is too big for a small living room. You're like, what? You don't need this. You could have gotten a love seat and gotten away with it.

[B]

I don't like carrots, but I like carrots and soup. But I also like carrots. How the Mexicans do. They pickle it.

[A]

That's my Favorite.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

No, they pickle it.

[B]

Yeah, they pickle, but it has jalapeno pickle, too.

[A]

Pickled.

[B]

It's a whole thing. Onions, pickled vegetables. Dude, whatever that is. Dude.

[A]

That'S very Spanish.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

That I do love.

[B]

Yeah. And I love. I had breakfast. You ever go to the Griddle on Sunset? Yeah.

[A]

No, I went there one time. The pancake place, it's old. It's got, like, a line down the block, doesn't it?

[B]

I went there today.

[A]

You went there today?

[B]

Incredible pancakes, dude. I got a. No, I got a French toast with fruity pebbles in it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Look at the fruity pebble.

[A]

You're really fist fighting that Wegovy, huh?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I got that.

[A]

That's insane, Bobby.

[B]

Yeah, dude, that's crazy.

[A]

That's like a chunk.

[B]

I know, but I shared it with my friend.

[A]

Oh, okay. Your teeth are gonna fall out.

[B]

So we. What? What I always do is when I. When I go to a breakfast spot, friend. You know what I mean? I'll go. We share one. Sweet. But we get our separate things. I mean, we could share that, too.

[A]

You get a dish, right? Yeah.

[B]

So you don't eat the whole thing. It's just like two or three bites. But that thing, dude, was.

[A]

That's too sweet for me.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And syrup on top of that.

[B]

No, that. Whatever that whipped cream is. Is the thing.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[B]

I refuse to do extra. And then I got a Chicago scramble. That was really good.

[A]

What was it? What's in there?

[B]

Peppers, you know, Italian peppers and sausage. You know.

[A]

So over here, Chicago scramble. Italian sausage, peppers.

[B]

Italian sausage, pepper.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Diabetes.

[B]

Diabetes, Chicago.

[A]

You were on a sketch show, huh?

[B]

Oh, dude, when they said you got the job. Yeah, I went. I really.

[A]

What do you mean? You're a great actor.

[B]

No, what I'm saying is, is that you.

[A]

You don't.

[B]

You don't think that I was bewildered that I got on a schedule?

[A]

No, you're hilarious.

[B]

I didn't know how to do anything.

[A]

Well, you just don't do impressions or accents or any.

[B]

What the things that you need to do in a sketch.

[A]

No, but you do characters.

[B]

I could do characters.

[A]

Yes, you can do.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I can do something.

[A]

That's what sketch shows are. A great character.

[B]

Yeah, man. Donnie, good to see you, man. Stuff like that.

[A]

Yeah. That was good.

[B]

Emma. Vira. Hello. Welcome to my castle. Those are the unair ones.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They didn't really make it up. You know.

[A]

You know what hinders you?

[B]

What?

[A]

It's Your eyes.

[B]

My eyes are what?

[A]

Well, you tell a lot in the eyes through comedy, and that's what hinders you.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Your eyes.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Because when you. You do character, you have to, like, like, see, you do that when you go to, like, a different guy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You have to physically change your eyes.

[B]

I have to physically change my eyes?

[A]

Yeah. Like, be a guy from the South.

[B]

What?

[A]

Be a guy from the South.

[B]

How you doing?

[A]

See what I mean? Okay. Be a guy from New York.

[B]

Hey, forget about.

[A]

Look at your eyes. You change.

[B]

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

[A]

You do. Jj.

[B]

I make my eyes whiter. Yeah.

[A]

You make white eyes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It looks like you're gonna put eyedrops in when you do that.

[B]

I think you're right. You change. In my eyes.

[A]

In your eyes, dude.

[B]

Whoa. Dude.

[A]

But the comedy is where.

[B]

Yeah. In your heart.

[A]

It's in your heart.

[B]

Yeah. I saw Frankenstein. Hot Frankenstein. You see it?

[A]

I know, but every time I see a click on, clip on tick tock. That makes me laugh of a guy who's correcting people. Have you seen that guy when he's like, it's actually Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein is. It's a great clip. There's been a couple of them out there.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

That's hot Frankenstein.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm out. It's Frankenstein's. Supposed to be hideous.

[B]

I know.

[A]

The whole point was.

[B]

Can I say something, though? I thought the same thing, but there was all this hoopla. The cinematic cartography is great. You know what I mean? Do you see it, McCone? Not yet. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Who is it? Gilmore? Guillermo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it's gonna look amazing.

[B]

Yeah. So I watched it because of that. Right. But I. I have to say, I had really great empathy for him.

[A]

For Frankenstein's monster.

[B]

Yeah, for Frankenstein's monster. And it was the first time I saw anything Frankenstein where I was just like, I felt so. Such sorrow for him.

[A]

You've seen the original?

[B]

I did, yeah. Yeah. But this Frankenstein is pretty good.

[A]

Here's what bothers me about this.

[B]

What?

[A]

Because for years, all of us, everyone in this room, when we were kids, you thought Frankenstein was the monster. And then you get old enough and you see it and you go, oh, that's Frankenstein's monsters. What he's called. Yet societally, we still call that guy Frankenstein.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like on a Halloween shirt, it'd be like, Frankenstein. It just would. Why didn't they just give that guy the name Frankenstein and then call him doctor?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, @ some.

[B]

Point.

[A]

Yeah. Switch it.

[B]

Up.

[A]

Yeah. It was such a weird thing. Also, if you're going to keep his name Frankenstein sponsor, give him a different.

[B]

Name.

[A]

Yeah. If Frankenstein was going to be called.

[B]

Frankenstein. Give.

[A]

Frankenstein. God, you were so.

[B]

Close. That's it. No, no, no. He didn't make it.

[A]

Through.

[B]

Yeah. Give me another shot. Yeah, yeah. Organ.

[A]

Falk. Organ.

[B]

Fox. Yeah. Organ.

[A]

Fox. Not fuck. Don't say fuck in the.

[B]

Name. Oh, yeah. Argen Fork.

[A]

Arganfark. He's.

[B]

Swedish. And this is my.

[A]

Bride. Who is your bride's.

[B]

Name? Bride of.

[A]

Argonfolk. I like that. So he was hot. It's worth seeing this.

[B]

Thing. Yeah. You saw it? Yeah. It's so.

[A]

Awesome.

[B]

I. You know, you have.

[A]

To. I just haven't been in movies in so.

[B]

Long.

[A]

Yeah. I gotta go. I just haven't.

[B]

Been. I mean, it's no Predator Badlands, but it's very good. Now you see me, now you don't. It's also out. Oh, yeah, you're in it.

[A]

Congratulations. Thanks.

[B]

Man. Yeah. And people said I like it. People like.

[A]

It. Now you see.

[B]

Me. Did you see.

[A]

It? I haven't seen.

[B]

It. Did you see yourself on.

[A]

It? I've been on the road. No. Yeah, I've been. I guess I'm in the first scene. He said you saw.

[B]

It.

[A]

Yeah. You went to go see it. Are you a fan of the.

[B]

Franchise? Not.

[A]

Really. Okay.

[B]

Good. You saw for Andrew.

[A]

Yeah. Shut up. Why did you go to see.

[B]

It? I saw it for you the same way that I saw Borderlands for me. Yeah. Yeah. Not in the theater.

[A]

Though.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, you.

[A]

Did? What's. What? What's. Now you see me? Got a rotten.

[B]

Tomatoes. Walk out of both of.

[A]

Them.

[B]

59.

[A]

59. 59. We're.

[B]

Cruising. Yeah. What a Borderlands. What is Borderlands at.

[A]

Now? Oh, but audience score is 81. That's way.

[B]

Better.

[A]

Yeah. I'll take audience score all day. I'm gonna go see that movie. I was supposed to go see it and I couldn't. We went out of town. 10, 10. 48 though popcorn made it.

[B]

48.

[A]

Yeah. So do. How the movie. You didn't finish it. You didn't. You walked.

[B]

Out. It's okay. One of those.

[A]

Movies. Yeah, the original was. Yeah. I've seen. I mean, I've only seen the first one.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Zoom in there. Jesse Eisenberg. How incredible. The rest of the cast. Magic. How amazing. Rosemund Pike. But Andrew Santino stood out as a complete dud. Am I really in the first.

[B]

Scene? Yeah, first.

[A]

Scene. Oh.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. Maybe I'll just go to see it and then. And leave. Well, no, I want. I'd see the movie. I want to see.

[B]

It. Yeah. I'd love to see.

[A]

It. We should go as a.

[B]

Family. We should go and watch it. Support.

[A]

You. I had a guy come up to me and say, yo, bad friends. I was like, what's up, man? And he's like, yo, I used to hang out. I used to skate with.

[B]

Stevie. It's so.

[A]

Funny. That's. It was.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, oh, really? Stevie.

[B]

Lee?

[A]

Yeah. He's like, yeah. He's like, tell him I said, what's up? It was the first time someone talked to me and not asked about.

[B]

You.

[A]

Yeah. That's cool. It was cool because we went back. We went back to, like, you know, old little spots. Sean Malto, my buddy Sean, was with.

[B]

Me.

[A]

Yeah. And we were just out with a bunch of young skate dudes in Phoenix.

[B]

Yeah. Because that's My brother, went to ASU and skated a lot.

[A]

There. Yeah, I.

[B]

Know.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I went there.

[B]

Too.

[A]

Yeah. But we. We were with a couple of young skate dudes, and one of the dudes was like, yo, I used to skate with Stevie Lee. And I was like, oh, that's. That's.

[B]

Rad.

[A]

Wow. But it was so cool, because nine times out of ten, hey, where's.

[B]

Bobby? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. They want to know where you.

[B]

Are. Yeah.

[A]

You. Too bad. No, they never ask you about.

[B]

Me. Are you out of your mind? We're.

[A]

Santino. That's not what they.

[B]

Said. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I can't even tell by the way you said.

[B]

That. Hey, where's Santino at? I go, he's not here. He's in, you know, somewhere with Taylor.

[A]

Swift. Okay. Oh, what are you gonna get me for Christmas? Do you have my Christmas.

[B]

Gift? Let's get me a real gift. No.

[A]

No. I got you a real.

[B]

Gift. Did. Did your wife tell you that I called frantically for weeks? She did. She couldn't think of.

[A]

One. I know.

[B]

But. And I couldn't think of one.

[A]

Either. You don't have a wife. I didn't get to call anyone. I had to figure it out on my.

[B]

Own. I know, but you have the world. What do you give somebody that has the world in their.

[A]

Fingertips? You have.

[B]

Everything. They have.

[A]

That. You have everything. I. Something for you. I still found.

[B]

Something. Yeah, but it's like, there's.

[A]

No. Because I'm creative, and I.

[B]

Care. You don't care, or I'll get.

[A]

You. No, you don't need to tell me. Yeah, but you better get me something.

[B]

Good. Tiger woods rookie.

[A]

Card. A rookie golf.

[B]

Card? Yeah. I mean, I don't know what else it's like. It's like, how do you like. Would you. So how. I thought about this. Can we make this deal? When it comes to you and I, we don't give each other.

[A]

Gifts. No deal. We get each.

[B]

Other. No, no, no, no.

[A]

No. No.

[B]

Deal. I want.

[A]

It. No, I'm out.

[B]

Dog. Please. It's too much. I, I, I spend time thinking about it for. Too.

[A]

Much. All.

[B]

Right. You know, I mean, I'm calling.

[A]

So. You're.

[B]

Right. You and I just have a handshake like the old days. Like the old.

[A]

Days. That's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with that. It's a.

[B]

Letdown. How?

[A]

Why? Because I've always thought gifts are fun. I got you those shoes you never wear. They're still under the desk. Those Arsenal shoes. They're under.

[B]

There. Oh.

[A]

Yeah. They've never.

[B]

Moved. Yeah. Y other side can imagine how.

[A]

Many young kids would love to have those.

[B]

Shoes. Thank you. I want them there. I. Why can't I place the presents that I receive where I want, you.

[A]

Know? Well, it's not a painting. They're.

[B]

Shoes. I know, but I want them down here by my other.

[A]

Feet. You have two feet down there. You have another set.

[B]

Of. No, by my feet. Oh, yeah, yeah, my feet. Looks at him like, what's up? You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. I just want them there. Why can't I place the.

[A]

Presents? There are fewer.

[B]

Shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Say right now things that you want, and then, then I can have a direction to.

[A]

Go.

[B]

Okay. All right, so tell me.

[A]

Now. Peace in the Middle.

[B]

East. All right, so I'll give you, I'll give you money to give to.

[A]

Them.

[B]

Okay. To a cause or something. Okay. That's what we did with your birthday. You. Some of the money gives it the.

[A]

Cause. That's right. What else do.

[B]

I. Give me something. Give me something tangible, like a, A something physical. I can buy an item, and if you throw it out there or throw a bunch of things out there, then I can like, you know. You know what I.

[A]

Mean? A.

[B]

Loofah.

[A]

Okay. Okay. I need a new loofah. I want a, I want a foot massage.

[B]

Machine. Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

[A]

Dude. I want a Toto Japanese.

[B]

Toilet. Okay. This is good, this is good, this is good, this is.

[A]

Good. Will you buy me a toilet? I.

[B]

Know. No, already with all three things that you just mentioned. I already know exactly what I'm gonna get.

[A]

You. Okay.

[B]

Good. You know what it is? What?

[A]

Nothing. I want to hide. I'll tell you what I really.

[B]

Want.

[A]

What? More than anything in the.

[B]

World.

[A]

What is for you and me to actually next year make a movie for.

[B]

Real. But that's not a birthday gift. There's something that's ingredient Christmas gift. That's something that we have to.

[A]

Do. Do you not believe in the miracle of.

[B]

Christmas? I do believe in the miracle of whatever holiday is. Of course. I do mean that holiday. I don't know much about it. St. Nicholas. There's presents. There's a rooftop. You know what I mean? There's little horses on a rooftop. Whatever, you know, I get.

[A]

It.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I mean, I understand the North Pole, the.

[A]

Elves. You know what they call him in Britain? What they call Santa.

[B]

Claus?

[A]

James. Father.

[B]

Christmas. Oh, Father.

[A]

Christmas. That's his.

[B]

Property. There's a lot of English people, I mean, named.

[A]

James. That's.

[B]

True. Yeah. Yeah. So it's. I just threw it out.

[A]

There. But there's Father.

[B]

Christmas. Yeah. What are you guys getting us for.

[A]

Christmas? What do you guys want for.

[B]

Christmas? To keep your jobs.

[A]

Okay. What do you guys want? What do you want for Christmas? For.

[B]

Real? Gucci chain. Gucci chain. All right. Thank you. Your wish is granted. Okay, what about.

[A]

You? My cone. I've always wanted an original pressing of Stakes as High, the De La Soul album. Because on the Repress, they removed all the original.

[B]

Samples. So a first press pressing of that. You're such a nerd. Okay, the first pressing of what? They left Souls. What.

[A]

Album? Stakes is high. They're 96.

[B]

Release. Okay. Okay, then I'll go with a car. Okay. Original. Stakes is.

[A]

High. Did you hear what he just.

[B]

Said?

[A]

Yeah. You want a new car? You want a new.

[B]

Car? It could be.

[A]

Yours. What kind of.

[B]

Car? The.

[A]

Tesla. What? The Tesla.

[B]

3. The truck.

[A]

The cyber.

[B]

Truck? Not the truck. No, no, the Y or.

[A]

Whatever. Well, there's two SUVs. Is the X and the Y. Do you know which one you like? You like the one with the gull wing doors? The ones. The doors.

[B]

That. Yeah.

[A]

Yes. That's the Y.

[B]

Right? Yeah, it's the big.

[A]

One. It's.

[B]

Expensive.

[A]

Yeah. They're over. No, no, that's X. Right? Or Maybe it's the X1 has the doors. What is the goal There it is. That's the Tesla Model X. So do you want. That's the big one? One? You sure that's the one you.

[B]

Like? Okay. What else are you willing to do because based on the. The job that you have. Yeah. You have to do a little.

[A]

Extra.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to have a Christmas dinner with you.

[A]

Guys. No, no, I'd rather not. I'd rather buy you a new car than eat food with you. That's so funny. I'd rather buy you a new car than eat food with.

[B]

You.

[A]

You. All right, so we got the Christmas gifts. You want a car, you want a Gucci chain, and you want a printed. An album. An album that. That we have.

[B]

To. What's a Gucci chain, man? Like a chain from Gucci. Oh, like a necklace? Yeah, like a gold chain. Okay. Yeah. You shouldn't be that surprised. You're wearing.

[A]

Purses. Thank you for being a.

[B]

Bad. And Doug, here we have the.

[A]

Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally.

[B]

Doug.

[A]

Limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera. They see.

[B]

Us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.