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Bobby Lee
This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huell Your go to.
Andrew Santino
For complete nutrition, try Huell with 15% off today using code bad friends at my.huell.com Bad friends.
Bobby Lee
Hey, scary time USA.
Andrew Santino
Scaredy time USA.
Bobby Lee
You guys, if you guys missed that live, you missed out because it was.
Andrew Santino
Probably one of the best I've ever done.
Bobby Lee
Strongest we've ever done.
Andrew Santino
I think it felt so cool.
Bobby Lee
It felt cool.
Andrew Santino
And right now you can still watch it. You didn't get to see it live. It's not going to be as beautiful when it's not live, but you can still watch a edited cut of most of almost everything that we did on there.
Bobby Lee
Yep.
Andrew Santino
At Moment Co slash Bad Friends. Scary Time usa. There's also got a one off shirts, hoodies, posters, stuff like that on the site that we're going to stop selling after scary times USA is gone. So 18 days left from right now is all you got. Go to Moment Co slash Bad Friends.
Bobby Lee
Hey.
Andrew Santino
We'Re going to be Dan under my. Listen, we added shows and you guys have done such a great job coming out and see us that we had to add shows. So Sydney, uh, we got a couple of shows. We're doing Brisbane, Auckland, Melbourne, a couple of shows.
Bobby Lee
Adelaide.
Andrew Santino
Adelaide, Perth, Australia. And then finally Single Boy Singapore. If you want to come see us in any of those spots, you better get your tickets right now. They're going to sell bad friends pod.com bad friends podcast.
Bobby Lee
What a joy. We're never going to. We may never even be a long time.
Andrew Santino
We probably might not come back together.
Bobby Lee
Who knows?
Andrew Santino
All right, you two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?
Bobby Lee
White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something. We're Bad friends. You know what I've been watching is people. Kids watching six cents for the first time. How do you like not know the outcome of that movie?
Andrew Santino
Well, if kids were people that were born in the year like 2000, a 24 year old doesn't know.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, sometimes I feel like that's something that they, you know, it's like, you know, Soylent Green are people. Do you remember that?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Like I never even saw and green. But I know soil and green are people.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, but 99 this movie came out. Okay, so kids born in 2000, 2001, young 20 year olds, they wouldn't have seen this, but.
Bobby Lee
No, I'm saying they haven't seen it. But would they know the, you know, I mean the bit that the switch.
Andrew Santino
Right. Maybe the surprise.
Bobby Lee
I just feel like that's a part of. But when you watch YouTubers or people watching it, they get really. Oh, is he. You know what? I would. I don't want to give it away, but they're. They get freaked out. You see black dudes, too, especially. It's always, you know, I mean, they got. No.
Andrew Santino
By the way.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know, we've reached peak Internet. What? Someone literally sent this to me yesterday. I came up. I didn't text Carlos. You know how black dudes will get high and watch comedy stuff?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
There's two black guys that got high to watch Bad Friends. No, I was like, we made it.
Bobby Lee
I don't even watch it.
Andrew Santino
We made it.
Bobby Lee
I don't even want to watch it because they laugh.
Andrew Santino
Get high and watch us.
Bobby Lee
Do they watch?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Do they laugh?
Andrew Santino
They were dying.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That made me feel so cool. That's like when a black guy calls you the N word. You know what I mean? And you're like, all right, I'll take.
Bobby Lee
It because I did a firefighter show.
Andrew Santino
You did a firefighter show? What did you say? A firefighter show. What you think I said a firefighter show?
Bobby Lee
I said firefighter show.
Andrew Santino
It sounds the same.
Bobby Lee
No, slow it down.
Andrew Santino
Do it one more time.
Bobby Lee
I did a firefighter show.
Andrew Santino
Firefighter show.
Bobby Lee
That's not what I said. And that's what.
Andrew Santino
Firefighter show. Bro.
Bobby Lee
Bro. Bro. Come on, dude.
Andrew Santino
It's a firefighter show.
Bobby Lee
Right?
Andrew Santino
Go ahead.
Bobby Lee
Ryo was there.
Andrew Santino
Fireball.
Bobby Lee
Is that what he says?
Andrew Santino
Wait, what is it how you can.
Bobby Lee
No. In Street Fighter. Is it Street Fighter? Yeah, Street Fighter.
Andrew Santino
Street Fighter. Hadoken. Hadoken.
Bobby Lee
That's what he said. Hadouken. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's Harukin.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Harukin. Wave Motion or Fist of Surge. Special attack from Capcom. Street Fighter.
Bobby Lee
Anyway, sorry.
Andrew Santino
So you're at a firefighter show.
Bobby Lee
Am I saying it right?
Andrew Santino
I think so.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. A fire fireman show. Yeah.
Carlos
That's gay.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Sounds like a.
Bobby Lee
That's gay.
Andrew Santino
Little gay burlesque show.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We're gonna put you out.
Bobby Lee
Oh, well, then forget it.
Andrew Santino
No, come on.
Bobby Lee
I mean, I don't want to partake anymore.
Andrew Santino
You were at a firefight?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. It's a dead end, huh?
Andrew Santino
Not at the Firefire show. Your ends always open.
Bobby Lee
So I see. So it was a benefit show at the Improv, and it was. So it was me, Griffin. Right. Amir K. And Fitzsimmons.
Andrew Santino
I love Amir. I love Fitz.
Bobby Lee
Fits. Right?
Andrew Santino
And Griff. I love Griff.
Bobby Lee
Right. But the first part of the show was Firefighters Doing stand up.
Andrew Santino
Oh, like local LA department.
Bobby Lee
Yes. Yeah. And they had about eight of them.
Andrew Santino
It was to raise money for these guys.
Bobby Lee
It was like some sort of benefit for fire people.
Andrew Santino
What is going on with this? They're always handing out buckets. They need money, these guys. What's going on with these guys?
Bobby Lee
Dude, fighting fire is expensive.
Andrew Santino
They're never doing it.
Bobby Lee
Water you need. What else do you need?
Andrew Santino
They're never fighting.
Bobby Lee
Just water.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you gotta have a dog. You gotta.
Bobby Lee
You need the Dalmatian.
Andrew Santino
You do?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. For optics, right?
Andrew Santino
No, they go.
Bobby Lee
Maybe the shiny red, you know? Yeah, the fire. You gotta shine that up.
Andrew Santino
The what? The fire truck. Yeah, it's already shy. Pre shined.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but. So those are extra shiny.
Andrew Santino
See, that's why it starts to get real gay. They're in the firehouse. They're clear. They're shining it up all day with their shirts off. They're just lifting weights.
Bobby Lee
They have their hoses out.
Andrew Santino
There's. There's a pole.
Bobby Lee
There's a pole. They're raising money in a floor glory hole.
Andrew Santino
A floor.
Bobby Lee
Gigantic milking table.
Carlos
With earth.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, kind of.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos
No, you do that like on a beach you can lay.
Bobby Lee
I have no idea what you're saying.
Andrew Santino
Continue the story.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Anyway, don't give him too much air time.
Bobby Lee
So, you know, I went early. We all went early. And number one, they killed.
Andrew Santino
No way.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, one after another. I'm not kidding you.
Andrew Santino
Who was in the crowd? People whose houses were on fire.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no, no. No other fire people.
Andrew Santino
Oh, it was all fire people.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's all firemen.
Andrew Santino
Well, that's why they.
Bobby Lee
No, but. No, but they were actually. Okay.
Andrew Santino
Like, who wrote the jokes for them?
Bobby Lee
I don't know. And they all had different point of views. They all went. It got to the point though, dude, where me, Griffin and Amir were standing there and we all were holding each other, going, what if we bomb? It would be because we're. We're supposed to be the pros. Yeah, right. So then Eric goes up there. He does good. I'm next. Right? And I don't know why I brought this up. Because you brought up the two. Two black guys watching, right? And this dude. This black dude had shades on. You know how sometimes they get Martin Lawrence Y.
Andrew Santino
100%.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean? Like, they get like. Like bitony. Yeah, like, you know me. They just get all. Hold on. Just get all. Like, where am I? You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
What are you talking about? Dude? They get all. I was with you with Martin Lawrence. You lost me.
Bobby Lee
I don't. No, he was an older black guy, right? He's wearing, like, a brown track suit. He was wearing shades, and he was just kind of going, where am I? You know?
Andrew Santino
Was he on stage?
Bobby Lee
No, he was off to the side. Okay. You know how you go down the stairs? He was sitting there with shades with a beautiful. His wife.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you.
Bobby Lee
I mean, but they're older, and he also. They like to. I don't say they. That's insane. That's insane what I'm doing.
Andrew Santino
I know what you were saying.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no. Yeah, but, you know, he had, like, one leg on something like this. Like this. Like this.
Andrew Santino
As if he was in a park.
Bobby Lee
On a bench drinking lemonade in a nice summer day.
Andrew Santino
And you know what color it is? It's pink.
Bobby Lee
It's purple.
Andrew Santino
It's pink.
Bobby Lee
It's grape.
Andrew Santino
They. Black people love pink lemonade.
Bobby Lee
They do.
Andrew Santino
The way that we love Arnold Palmer.
Bobby Lee
So this guy, right? I was observing him.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
He was dying, laughing at every fireman. Okay, okay.
Andrew Santino
He was a fireman himself.
Bobby Lee
I don't know. I didn't ask him. He must have, you know, and he was laughing. But then when I went up, ice cold, ice cold like a river.
Andrew Santino
Nothing.
Bobby Lee
Nothing.
Andrew Santino
Not a smile, not a smirk.
Bobby Lee
Not a wimp. He almost looked mad. When I'm. When I get nervous.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And I have to do well, I start getting real weird fast up front.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I know.
Bobby Lee
I mean, I make my hair weird.
Andrew Santino
But I like it.
Bobby Lee
I stumble on stage like a character, you know what I mean? And I just start going, beep, beep, beep, beep. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Poking my pee pee. You know what I mean? Like, I literally go, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Like that, right? And media's like, nah, nah, he didn't like that. I crushed still, but still, he. I couldn't break him.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. You never will.
Bobby Lee
I will.
Andrew Santino
No, you will not. One day I will, sir. Wherever you are.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Come back to a show, sir. Let's see if we can really crack you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Anyway, do you know how much money they raised for firefighters?
Bobby Lee
I didn't ask.
Andrew Santino
My grandfather was a firefighter, you know that. I've talked to him over the years, and I said, you know, cops get a lot of, like, flack. You know, Cops are always. They're always like, cops are racist, you know? This is a lot of flack. People say.
Bobby Lee
I don't know about that.
Andrew Santino
You never heard this?
Bobby Lee
Never Heard that.
Andrew Santino
Good. But I think it's interesting that people always say, like, oh, cops are racist. All the cops are bad. All cops are racist. Firefighters, never. No one ever says that about them.
Bobby Lee
I don't think they are.
Andrew Santino
Oh, they are.
Bobby Lee
They are. I'll tell you. Can I give you a theory? Maybe.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, dude. They're just stronger cops.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Imagine it's a job that you have.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
When only one specific event happens.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right. So there could be a month that goes by. No.
Andrew Santino
Or like, you're a robbery.
Bobby Lee
Is there a fire every day?
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
Right. So what I'm saying is that I assume months go by. They rescue cats from trees. They do. But fuck you. All right.
Andrew Santino
176 fire stations exist now. How many fires are there in the United States?
Bobby Lee
No, but in la.
Andrew Santino
In la, I will say this out every day. Look at this. Approximately 17,000 fires in the city. That also includes, like, small shop front fire. That's.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's not a big. That's not exactly. Not real.
Bobby Lee
Not unreal.
Andrew Santino
Arson. That includes arson.
Bobby Lee
Arson. So 46 a day also. Then they. They're always working.
Andrew Santino
They're probably pretty busy. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Well, then my theory's wrong. I always assume, like, you know, they're just playing, like, Jenga up there in the firehouse. You know what I mean? And then. Oh, man. You know what I mean? I don't know why I said it like that, but, like, oh, man. Fire. Let's go. And they go down the pool.
Andrew Santino
They have way more medical emergencies in the West Hollywood Fire Department. That's all. Medical emergency.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that's what they. Because we. I used to. You know, we used to.
Andrew Santino
Because when you get something stuck up your ass, they got to be there for all that.
Bobby Lee
No, Kalil used to get heart murmurs.
Andrew Santino
No, I get them all the time.
Bobby Lee
And then we call the ambulance.
Andrew Santino
No, I don't do that.
Bobby Lee
And a fire truck would come. Sometimes they have to.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they come.
Bobby Lee
Why, though?
Andrew Santino
Why what?
Bobby Lee
Why the fire truck with the ambulance?
Andrew Santino
They want to show off their big ladder? No, they have. I think it's part of the. It's a. Part of. It's required that they have to show up with it with paramedics because in case someone's stuck in something or who knows? Well, here, let's get the answer from this woman. The goal is to get help who needs it, as fast as possible. Ambulances can be delayed or unavailable at the time because paramedics also are EMT. EMTs also can be firefighters or they.
Bobby Lee
Have to be Oh, I think you're right, because I think a couple. A couple of times. Ambulance didn't come. It was only a firefighter.
Andrew Santino
But he had.
Bobby Lee
But he had all the equipment.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he had the experience and they had that.
Bobby Lee
Wow. They do so many things.
Andrew Santino
Would she get her heart shocked back into. Into rhythm?
Bobby Lee
She had an ablation, so we used to. We got a couple operations on her heart. Wow.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I get murmurs all the time.
Bobby Lee
Do you ever get worried about it?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Yeah, a lot.
Bobby Lee
Would you. Have you thought considered an ablation? You know what it is?
Andrew Santino
A black Asian.
Bobby Lee
Yes. I should have said I would consider getting a Tiger Woods.
Andrew Santino
That's what they call the surgery.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, I thought about doing something to it, but my doctors have always said it's okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I guess they go. They. It's like a little. They go through all the, like, veins and stuff on one side of the body with the. With. I don't know.
Andrew Santino
Usually goes through your belly button a lot. That freaks me out. They open up your belly button, you know. My wife had surgery. Did it go through your belly button?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yuck.
Bobby Lee
You know how they say that one day we're gonna have chips on our arms? Will you do that?
Andrew Santino
Well, you.
Bobby Lee
All our information, our credit cards, everything, you know? I mean, you'll do it for sure.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
How convenient.
Andrew Santino
I would do it. You won't do that. Why'd you shake your head no?
Bobby Lee
That scares me.
Andrew Santino
I don't know why.
Bobby Lee
It's just like, when that starts conflicting.
Andrew Santino
With, like, mechanical, with human stuff. Like with brain and neural.
Bobby Lee
What do you mean, mechanical? I'm not saying I'm going to get my arm replaced. It's like a little chip, dude.
Andrew Santino
You think it's going to lead to neural link?
Bobby Lee
I don't even like driving cars that, like, they can turn off with a computer. That's why I drive an old Accord. Oh, my God. That's.
Andrew Santino
That's why you drive an old Accord.
Bobby Lee
Bad. And you being broken.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
This guy's.
Andrew Santino
Let us be me, Clint Eastwood.
Bobby Lee
Let us be Mean Bridges of Madison county or something. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
That's because you are broke.
Bobby Lee
No, what I'm saying is you have your credit card, your idea id, and also maybe a way to open up your front door with your arm.
Andrew Santino
Oh, I like that, too. Yeah, but think about it. Somebody follows you home, they grab you, they just put your arm up to the door. The guy, he gets right.
Bobby Lee
Right, right, right, right, right.
Andrew Santino
Can't have that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Okay.
Andrew Santino
There was a bump in the Night. The other night by the house, by the way, I got nervous, grabbed my gun.
Bobby Lee
In your mansion.
Andrew Santino
In my home.
Bobby Lee
Your jagged mansion. Okay, so my home is not.
Andrew Santino
Your house is the same size as my house.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God. You. I love when you try to start fights with me.
Andrew Santino
You just started.
Bobby Lee
Who started it?
Andrew Santino
Who started it?
Bobby Lee
Dude, I don't want to go there.
Andrew Santino
You just started it.
Bobby Lee
I don't want to go there with you, dude, but stop doing this. Stop lying. Stop. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
About what?
Bobby Lee
Gaslighting.
Andrew Santino
That's so. The irony of this is staggering. You're literally gas.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's so.
Andrew Santino
You know, you're literally doing it.
Bobby Lee
And let me say what you're doing.
Andrew Santino
You're gas writing. Me, so gas writing. So no more gas writing. Oh, you're.
Bobby Lee
Now you're doing Asian accent. That's when you're scared.
Andrew Santino
That's how I get out of it.
Bobby Lee
When he gets scared, he does Asian accent, right?
Andrew Santino
No, you have your mom.
Bobby Lee
You got scared and you did my mom.
Andrew Santino
You brought an accent. Okay, that's what you.
Bobby Lee
That's.
Andrew Santino
And it makes viral.
Bobby Lee
But my point being is that you scared right now and calm.
Andrew Santino
I'm not scared.
Bobby Lee
Calm down. Calm down.
Andrew Santino
You started it. That's an insane thing.
Bobby Lee
Did you guys go to the house?
Andrew Santino
Yes, they've all been in my home.
Bobby Lee
Whose house is bigger?
Carlos
They're honestly the same. If you add up the driveway and everything.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you're going to put my driveway in it? I have a long driveway. How is that an equation?
Carlos
That's included.
Bobby Lee
That's not a living space.
Andrew Santino
Thank you. It could be.
Bobby Lee
No, it's not. So my point is, is this. Okay, let me reiterate and let me resay it, because the first time I went to his house was during his birthday party.
Andrew Santino
Right. My old house.
Bobby Lee
The new one.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I don't want to start a fight with you, but I.
Andrew Santino
You're doing it.
Bobby Lee
I know, but I walked in and I remember going, oh, I might have to move. That's the first thought.
Andrew Santino
What do you mean? Because you.
Bobby Lee
That's because. Let me. I want to be honest with you, dude.
Andrew Santino
Sure.
Bobby Lee
All right. I went to your front lawn. Pretty good. Nice lawn.
Andrew Santino
Thanks.
Bobby Lee
You have a gate and the whole thing.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Electrical, you know, gate system. Right. You walked out of these gigantic doors. Not that your house is big, but you have gigantic doors.
Andrew Santino
It's a big door. I'm six one.
Bobby Lee
Right, Right.
Andrew Santino
I mean, all doors are big to you.
Bobby Lee
Right. Okay, you can make fun of me all you want, but I'm just. I'm trying to be honest with you.
Andrew Santino
Well, I'm also trying to put comedy in the show.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Okay. And so then you come on in. Lang mang or whatever you fucking. You always say. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Make something up funny. If you're gonna say that, pick it up and be fun.
Bobby Lee
Ling Ling or whatever.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, come on in, Ling Ling. I go, ling, Ling's here.
Bobby Lee
Ling Ling's here. I walk in and I remember my first thing is I looked around high school ceilings do not have high ceilings.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, they're. They're tall.
Bobby Lee
Very. Right.
Andrew Santino
Well, they're tall.
Bobby Lee
Right. And then I also, like. I'm like. The living room is so far away from where I am.
Andrew Santino
It's in the back of the house.
Bobby Lee
I know where it is.
Andrew Santino
It's in the back of the house.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So it's like, you know, my site isn't that bad, Right? Your house. You have to go up to the living room. You can also not see it.
Andrew Santino
Thank you. You have to walk upstairs to your living room and your house.
Bobby Lee
Min. 2 studio apartments on top of each other. Yeah. You went up there.
Andrew Santino
They have bedrooms. Thank you, McCone.
Bobby Lee
No, I will admit that my house is. I prefer the design of my house better than yours.
Andrew Santino
Sure. That's why you live there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
With cat all over the place. It's great.
Bobby Lee
Okay. You can make jokes.
Andrew Santino
That's the show that we're on.
Bobby Lee
I know you can do what you're doing right now, dude. And I'm fine with it because I'm just being honest with you. So I walk in, high ceilings. I go, I don't know where? The living room, but it's pretty far away, probably half a mile away. And I walked in there and then I went. My thought was I might have to at least get a house comparable to this because I want to feel like we're on the same level. But I remember having these thoughts. And why would I have these thoughts? Carlos, do you think you're breaking the tenth commandment?
Carlos
It's jealousy.
Bobby Lee
Exactly, dude.
Andrew Santino
What is that?
Bobby Lee
It's jealousy.
Andrew Santino
Thou shalt not cover. Covet thy neighbor, dude.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Don't covet.
Bobby Lee
So I was coveting you, dude.
Andrew Santino
Stop coveting me.
Bobby Lee
I'm going to cover before the rest of my life.
Andrew Santino
I don't want you to.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. I'm covet king.
Andrew Santino
You're already breaking so many of the.
Bobby Lee
Here's what it is. You live in a house bigger than 99.9% of the houses in the. In the world. Can we say that?
Andrew Santino
Well, the world. Yeah, yeah. Most people live in huts.
Bobby Lee
Exactly. So that I'm not be lying.
Andrew Santino
Not bigger than 99% of the United States.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, it's not.
Bobby Lee
Let's move on. So what are we gonna say?
Andrew Santino
It's not even like, what.
Bobby Lee
Let's move on. What are you gonna say?
Andrew Santino
Well, if you let me tell the story. That's not it.
Bobby Lee
Well, let me finish my little point.
Andrew Santino
Here, because there was a gunshot outside.
Bobby Lee
Okay. It could have been in there.
Andrew Santino
And then there was rustling next door.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Like continuously.
Andrew Santino
And then I got worried.
Bobby Lee
All right, so start.
Andrew Santino
So I grabbed my.
Bobby Lee
Start from the beginning.
Andrew Santino
Go. There was a.
Bobby Lee
You're in your mansion going. Yeah. So you're laying. That you're laying down.
Andrew Santino
Well, I'm in one of my hyperbaric chambers that I sleep in. Yeah. No, So I was in my money room.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And I was sleeping. I have a money room that I.
Bobby Lee
Know you sleep in.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah. And I was swimming, actually, I was taking a late night Scrooge McDuck swim. I have gold coins.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you have a moat.
Andrew Santino
It's a 30 foot pool of money.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, I'm sleeping. I hear a gunshot. I panic. Then there's a text stream between our neighbors. Did anybody hear that? Who heard the blah, blah, blah? You know, like there's a. So then I'm really like on edge. So then I grab my gun and I go downstairs.
Bobby Lee
You have a gun?
Andrew Santino
In my underwear.
Bobby Lee
You have a gun. Be real.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
What kind?
Andrew Santino
I have a Glock.
Bobby Lee
Okay. So you grab my gun. Your Glock.
Andrew Santino
I bring my gun downstairs.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And I walk outside. That's me. That's what I look like from American History X.
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Andrew Santino
And I was outside scanning around for the noises that I was hearing because I was hearing noises then after the shot. So I thought, can you.
Bobby Lee
Can you.
Andrew Santino
Someone's on the run from the cops in my mind, and they're jumping into yards. That's my biggest fear, is someone tries to like break into your house.
Bobby Lee
This happened last night?
Andrew Santino
No, no, no. This is like four nights ago.
Bobby Lee
Okay. So I was with somebody in my house.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
Same thing?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Okay. And this person that was in my house, a young lady, you mean?
Andrew Santino
Obviously.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. She goes, is there always a helicopter above your house? This is four nights ago.
Andrew Santino
And then you're saying, I'm rich. You used to have a helicopter waiting for you at all hours of the night.
Bobby Lee
I don't own it. I don't own it. It just takes me to the common.
Andrew Santino
Ready to go?
Bobby Lee
Takes me to the common center. No, there was literally a helicopter doing a circle in my neighbor with the spotlight.
Andrew Santino
Oh, that. Hate a dude panic.
Bobby Lee
So what I'm saying, it could have been the same night that you heard the gunshot. Because we live five lifts away from each other.
Andrew Santino
Yes, that's true.
Bobby Lee
So this could be connected.
Andrew Santino
Okay. So I didn't hear a helicopter. I'm scared. It's quiet outside. There's rustling and banging. And I'm nervous, right? And I'm very scared because I think this is how I die. She's fine. I'll get killed.
Bobby Lee
Is your wife sleeping?
Andrew Santino
She's wide awake. She's scared because we both heard it. And then of course I'm out there and rustling, rustling. I go peek around the corner. Oh, it's just a raccoon on a garbage can. That's it.
Bobby Lee
How did he shot?
Andrew Santino
He had a gun. A little raccoon with a gun.
Bobby Lee
I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
And he was just trying to get food.
Bobby Lee
I think you're lying.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I am.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like you're lying.
Andrew Santino
No, no, but it did. There was a loud rustle. It did scare the.
Bobby Lee
But what time was it? I'm being real because I remember going, what is going on in our neighborhood?
Andrew Santino
Had it been not super late, but like, I mean, I'm not early in the morning. Maybe like 1am it wasn't that. It was like I just had started to fall asleep just after midnight.
Bobby Lee
I'm so glad you brought that up because it just brought up another thing that I have a problem with you about. Okay.
Andrew Santino
Today. All day today.
Bobby Lee
All day today. It kind of made me mad.
Andrew Santino
Can somebody draw a raccoon with a gun for the show?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, please.
Andrew Santino
On a trash can.
Bobby Lee
Blue Chew. Oh my God. I mean, I ran out of Blue Chew and I was panicking because I really need it. You know, I'm a 53 year old man and I'm sexually active.
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah.
Bobby Lee
And I'm going to tell you something, dude. You know, it's so funny. You can take Blue Chew and then three hours can go by and it's still there.
Andrew Santino
It's just waiting. Look at this. It's just. It's like hanging out in the brush, waiting.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a raccoon.
Andrew Santino
And then when you're ready, the gun.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that's right. That's right. Bluechew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. But at a fraction of the cause and in a chewable form.
Andrew Santino
The process is so easy. And by the way, for all the men out there that are like, I don't know about that. I don't know how I feel about it. Do yourself a favor. Bobby has been hard as a. I'm hard now, Rock.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I'm hard now.
Andrew Santino
The process is simple. Sign up@bluechew.com, consult one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you're gonna receive your prescription within days. Bluetooth tablets are also made where? Usa. Right here at home, baby. And they're prepared and shipped directly to your door. Discreet, by the way, so no one needs to know. You don't gotta go to a pharmacy. Take them anytime, day or night. Bobby likes to take them in the.
Bobby Lee
Day and night and in the morning.
Andrew Santino
Plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises.
Bobby Lee
Bluechew wants to help you have better sex. Discover your options@bluechew.com and we got a.
Andrew Santino
Special deal for our listeners. Try BlueChew free when you use the promo code Bad Friends at checkout. Just pay $5 for shipping. That's bluechew.com promo code bad friends to receive your first month free.
Bobby Lee
Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast DraftKings Sportsbook.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
It's my favorite sport. Here's a way to get even more into this action. Following your favorite players playing pick six.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
And for all first time pick six players, check this out. New customers play $5 and get $50 in pick six credits.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
Only on DraftKings Pick 6.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
You know how much money I've saved this year?
Andrew Santino
A ton.
Bobby Lee
Why?
Andrew Santino
Because of Rocket Money.
Bobby Lee
Because I have so many subscriptions on my phone and stuff and I even aware of it, they're like, it's a variety of like, you know, like ambiance sound apps or games or VPN this and this and that, whatever, whatever. And it's like it's called condensed. And now I'm saving hundreds and hundreds of dollars.
Andrew Santino
It's amazing because Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You like money, don't you?
Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
RocketMoney.com BadFriends that's RocketMoney.com BadFriends RocketMoney.com BadFends.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I feel like you and I are best friends, right?
Andrew Santino
You're my best friend.
Bobby Lee
One of my best friends.
Andrew Santino
You're my best friend.
Bobby Lee
I have a couple.
Andrew Santino
You're the only one for me.
Bobby Lee
No, I know you have a couple.
Andrew Santino
Name one.
Bobby Lee
Charlie Day.
Andrew Santino
That's not my best friend. He's a buddy. You're my best friend anyway.
Bobby Lee
And we share things.
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Fluids.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right. Ideas. Also our loves and dislikes.
Andrew Santino
That's true.
Bobby Lee
Okay. And I don't like it when you hoard things, though.
Andrew Santino
What did I keep from you?
Bobby Lee
I'm going to tell you in a second, okay? Okay. I don't like it when you hoard things and I draw the line Here.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Don't do that.
Andrew Santino
Well, what is it?
Bobby Lee
Don't do that with your fucking nose.
Andrew Santino
Well, that's why I get nervous.
Bobby Lee
Okay? So I was at the Comedy Store the other night maybe a week ago, and Brett Moran goes, there's a great restaurant. Okay. And I go, really? And he goes, I think it's, you know, rivals, like the best way. You're smiling.
Andrew Santino
I know what it is.
Bobby Lee
I know exactly what it is. I know you know.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
I know you know. Okay. Okay. So he said, it's Blvd. On Ventura.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I had no idea about it. Right, right. So in my mind, I'm, you know, I'm on a date. We go make reservations. I sit down and the waiter comes up to me and the manager, and they go, finally. And I go, finally what? They go, well, Andrew comes here twice a week. Stop, stop. This is the fucking truth. And I'm telling you the truth. And I don't like it when people laugh at truelism.
Andrew Santino
It's insane.
Bobby Lee
It's not insane.
Andrew Santino
Twice a week.
Bobby Lee
Twice a week. And we were wondering when you're going to come in here. Right? And I went, yeah, like, how many?
Andrew Santino
That's.
Bobby Lee
They go, a lot. He comes in a lot.
Andrew Santino
No, he doesn't.
Bobby Lee
I'm going to tell you why this is true. Okay. In a second. Okay. They go, okay. Wow. You never really ever mentioned it. Right. And then the food's great.
Andrew Santino
It's phenomenal.
Bobby Lee
It's excellent.
Andrew Santino
Delicious.
Bobby Lee
It's excellent. Right?
Andrew Santino
Delicious.
Bobby Lee
And then you. I text you the menu, a picture of the menu, and I said. And you go, oh, yeah, that place is great.
Andrew Santino
And I said, I'm close.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I. Yeah, I'm close. And I go there all the time.
Andrew Santino
And I said, can I come over after?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
Yes, I did.
Bobby Lee
Oh, maybe what I'm saying is, respond. You hoarded that restaurant.
Andrew Santino
I did not.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you did. And you know what, dude?
Andrew Santino
This is.
Bobby Lee
I'll start hoarding.
Andrew Santino
Pissing me off, dude.
Bobby Lee
I'll start hoarding friend restaurants and yogurt shops and coffee shops and everything. Right. And keep secrets to myself. That's up.
Andrew Santino
Dude.
Bobby Lee
That's a great restaurant. Okay.
Andrew Santino
This.
Bobby Lee
You do it all the time.
Andrew Santino
Such exaggeration.
Bobby Lee
You do it all the time.
Andrew Santino
Such an exaggeration.
Bobby Lee
He does it all the time.
Andrew Santino
I've shared more than I've taken away.
Bobby Lee
Another one. A Mexican restaurant. He's on that.
Carlos
Which one?
Bobby Lee
I forgot what it was called. But you're like. And then. And I go to the spot or. No, What? It was Is Italian restaurant. Remember that Italian restaurant near our house?
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And you go. And I were sitting there, and you go, yeah, come here. I've been coming here for years, right? And it's like two minutes from my house. I go, never heard of it.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. But first of all.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, so it's hoarding things.
Andrew Santino
I share more than I want. I share more than I hoard. Hey. Hey. Bobby is here saying. The manager at Boulevard Blvd. Says that I go there twice a week or I go there all the time. How many times have we gone there?
Bobby Lee
We've been there twice.
Andrew Santino
Thank you. We've only been. Was it in the same week? Same week.
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
No. Yeah. Months apart.
Bobby Lee
Twice. That you're aware of. Bobby. What? Is that not the truth?
Andrew Santino
I've only been twice. Thank you so much.
Bobby Lee
Thank you. Thank you. That's bullshit.
Andrew Santino
In your fucking face.
Bobby Lee
She's always been on your side.
Andrew Santino
No shit.
Bobby Lee
In a war, she's on your side.
Andrew Santino
But first.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Twice a week is chaos.
Bobby Lee
What I want to say is I will never.
Andrew Santino
I don't hoard from you. And I. And I. And it's not deliberate, but I've introduced you to a lot of spots. Let's be honest. I've taken you to spots and I've gone, I think you'd like this. And he knows that's true. And you go, this is really good. Thank you for telling me. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
But when you say I've been cutting for years, then it kind of hurts me. That's fine.
Andrew Santino
That place is brand new. But the Italian place was my little spot. Yes, that was.
Bobby Lee
You heard of that?
Andrew Santino
I should.
Bobby Lee
You admit that?
Andrew Santino
Fine. That's fine.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Okay. So he does.
Andrew Santino
You know why?
Bobby Lee
All right.
Andrew Santino
Can I tell you why? Because I like to go alone. I used to like to go to that place alone.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
So sometimes when I was.
Bobby Lee
Your quiet time at a fancy Italian restaurant.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
I've seen you eat alone.
Andrew Santino
Thank you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I have no friends.
Andrew Santino
Oh, me fucking either. What? You're the only guy I know.
Bobby Lee
Do you. Hello.
Andrew Santino
Hello.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God. You are doctor friend, dude. You're professor friend, dude, dude. You have so many friends. You're the fucking guy of friends.
Andrew Santino
Did I go to the med school for friends?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Let me see. You're always. I'm on a golfing trip with all your friends.
Andrew Santino
Let me tell you, I'm alone when I walk in a room.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
I walk when I walk in a room.
Bobby Lee
Well, you guys don't back me up either. You know, he has more friends When.
Andrew Santino
I walk in a room, the theme song of friends comes on. That's how many friends I have. Everywhere I go, I'll be there.
Bobby Lee
Or cheer. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Where everybody knows your name. That's you.
Bobby Lee
Your cheers.
Andrew Santino
It is Bobby's. Bam. Bam.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You have friends.
Bobby Lee
That was really good. That was really good.
Andrew Santino
Thank you.
Bobby Lee
But. But also Carlos. All right, let's be. Can we be honest? Yeah.
Carlos
You don't hang out with a lot of people.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Carlos
You're just, like, on date.
Bobby Lee
Thank you. So, professor friend. Okay.
Andrew Santino
This sounds like a you thing than a me thing. And I'm your best friend. Or one of them, apparently. You don't have any fucking friends. So I'm not even your best friend. You don't even have any friends. That's more interesting.
Bobby Lee
You're almost there.
Andrew Santino
I should be there.
Bobby Lee
You're almost there. Dude, you change some of your behaviors.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
The hoarding.
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. Open yours. Open your heart completely.
Andrew Santino
Name one person. Name one person on earth that's not blood to you that cares about. Cares about you the way I care about you. And.
Bobby Lee
Gene Hong.
Andrew Santino
Gene Hong. Does he check in?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I could text you right now. I just texted me today.
Andrew Santino
What did he say? Today?
Bobby Lee
I'll show you. I'm glad you said that.
Andrew Santino
Bring. Bring it up. Let me see. He's your best friend.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. He goes, we. When can we do dinner and catch up?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I said, this weekend.
Andrew Santino
What? He said, what's the previous text?
Bobby Lee
He goes. He goes, did you eat yet? I'm hungry and dumb. Already ate. I go, I am on Ozympic. And I go, I knew it. He goes, I knew it. I'm going to be the fat one in the group now. Then Saturday goes. Dinner. Didn't respond to that fat one.
Andrew Santino
Wait, wait, wait. The group. Oh, this is interesting. Like the group of the friends. That's interesting. That's an interesting thing to bring up. Your Honor, did you just. Interesting, interesting, interesting. The group, which means dumbfounded.
Bobby Lee
Okay, okay.
Andrew Santino
Who else is in your little group? Ali Wong. Who else in your little group?
Bobby Lee
We went bowling.
Andrew Santino
Jimmy Oyang.
Bobby Lee
We went bowling.
Andrew Santino
Who else is in your group? Ronnie Chang.
Bobby Lee
But Asians are not considered.
Andrew Santino
Ken John.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Wait, wait. Asians are considered a full, complete person.
Andrew Santino
Five.
Bobby Lee
Like clowns.
Andrew Santino
Five to one.
Bobby Lee
We're like clowns, right? If, like some 80 of us come out of a car, it's like one person.
Andrew Santino
Well, five to one, right?
Bobby Lee
So my point is, is that you can't count that, I think. And it's also, when I do Asian, Korean, Gatherings, Right. They just happen to be there.
Andrew Santino
That's what friends do.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You just happen to show up, you.
Bobby Lee
Know, and it's like a ching chong fest. I don't know what else to call. Call it.
Andrew Santino
You know, it's an Asian fest.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah, I. I read the. I should have read the text.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
It gave it away.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Do. You buried yourself?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I buried myself in that.
Andrew Santino
You buried yourself.
Bobby Lee
That's why. Yeah. I'd be a bad lawyer. I would forget things.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Oh, no, you just.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You would just give them information. They should. They should have.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
By the way, speaking of lawyers, let's.
Bobby Lee
Not go to this. Oh, no. Oh, no. I know.
Andrew Santino
No, let's.
Bobby Lee
I mean, no. I mean, you.
Andrew Santino
Let's get it over with.
Bobby Lee
No. Okay. You asked me why I was bummed out lately.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I think that was the foundation of it.
Andrew Santino
So I did see this. I sent this to Carl. You.
Bobby Lee
You rubbed in my face last week.
Andrew Santino
No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I. What I said was you rubbed it.
Bobby Lee
You rubbed in my.
Andrew Santino
I said it's blasphemy. And I said to Carlos smirk. I said, he's going to be pissed off.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Tom DeLonge is being inducted into the Poway High School hall of fame. Tom DeLonge of Blink 182, by the way. The thing that I was upset about was there was another woman that was inducted who I don't think is famous.
Bobby Lee
None of them are. Well, Tom DeLonge, he's the first guy that's famous that is actually in the hall of fame before it's like scientists. And there was one guy, an actor who was like. He started a community theater in north park for gay men. It's like, okay, he's in.
Andrew Santino
Well, maybe you need to do something like that. Important work, something for the community.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you think I'm not doing an important work for them? Yeah, but I don't know what they want. And when I went to school there, I didn't know what they wanted. I didn't feel a part of. I felt ostracized.
Andrew Santino
Not by the school itself, by the people that inhabited it.
Bobby Lee
Well, just the whole. I mean, you have to understand, Po High School was that controversy where that kid wore that anti gay T shirt and he went to court for it.
Andrew Santino
I don't remember this.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it up.
Andrew Santino
So Poway High. Some kid wore I I hate gays or something like that.
Bobby Lee
No, it was like. It was like a derogatory T shirt with, you know, I mean, that expressed.
Andrew Santino
His point of view about gay is not okay. Is that what he wore?
Bobby Lee
I don't know. But what. What I want to say is what I've done for the school. Okay. It was. I was on two sporting teams.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Wrestling and tennis. Oh, okay. Right.
Bobby Lee
What?
Andrew Santino
I forgot.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. I was a pure counselor.
Andrew Santino
You were?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Bobby Lee
I don't know why you're smirking, guy. So I was.
Andrew Santino
I thought you said it was a pear counselor at first. And I thought, yeah, like the fruit. I didn't know they did counselors by shape.
Bobby Lee
The good one.
Andrew Santino
All right, come on.
Bobby Lee
That's a good one.
Andrew Santino
You were a peer counselor. You were on two sports.
Bobby Lee
Two sports.
Andrew Santino
Everybody liked you. You were a musician. Did you play at the school?
Bobby Lee
No, I wasn't a musician then, but I was also in a play. And also fourthly, though, I also was. I got sober my junior year.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
So my senior year, I was like, you know, I participated and, you know, I mean, 12 step kind of things and spread a positive message, you know, at school. You know, I think what they're. They're basing it on is my nudity and my.
Andrew Santino
What does that have to do with anything?
Bobby Lee
That's what I'm. I mean, that's my point of view.
Andrew Santino
No, I think they're basing it on. I think they're basing it on the fact that you are free, creative, wild, unhinged. And these people on that list are probably bridled, protected, safe. You're free. You're an artist. Yeah, they don't have any wild artists on there.
Bobby Lee
Like, did you remember, like, they had a counselor for, like. What was it called? It was like an occupational counselor or something where, you know, that you would see somebody like, you know, I mean, a staff member of the school and they would direct your life.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Occupational therapist or whatever, like.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but we had that where it was like. And I remember going in. They're like, all right. Well, they looked at my grades and they go, wood shop. And I go. I was a junior. I was like, wood shop. I mean, that's because you're failing in all these things and you have no asset or ability. Right. And I'm like, you know, I. If I could go back now, I would go, yeah, but I'm. Funny. Is that. Is there a path for that?
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
But that. To that school, that kind of. Is not even a. They wouldn't never promote that or give you an option.
Andrew Santino
Wasn't an artistic school. Didn't have.
Bobby Lee
Well, it's like, yeah, it's like it's either you become an engineer or lawyer, doctor or whatever. Whatever. Right. Or, you know, a businessman, or you're working with wood.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
You get me?
Andrew Santino
Carpet.
Bobby Lee
I don't know what you know. I mean, you know, you're a welder or whatever.
Andrew Santino
You know, I've also never, never in my life seen an Asian carpenter.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you wouldn't last a day.
Andrew Santino
I've never seen an Asian. Look, Google. Are there Asian carpenters? I cannot. Was Jesus Asian? I don't think there's ever been an Asian carpenter. Yes, there are Asian car.
Bobby Lee
There are buildings. Who built the buildings in Asia?
Andrew Santino
The buildings in Asia. We send white people over there.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no, no. Not Africans.
Andrew Santino
There's a guy's Instagram called the Asian carpenter.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Andrew Santino
Well, let me see some of his work.
Bobby Lee
Let's see some of his work. Dude, look at that table, dude. That's a standard, very good table.
Andrew Santino
He built just the legs. It says he didn't even build the top.
Bobby Lee
All right. Fuck this guy. Anyway. That's nice.
Andrew Santino
Doesn't look any carpentry to me.
Bobby Lee
Oh, staircasing.
Andrew Santino
That's the ceiling.
Bobby Lee
Oh. Anyway.
Andrew Santino
Anyway.
Bobby Lee
But what. I mean, it's just so. I remember at school, when I was in high school, I was like. I remember going, oh, I'm fucked.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. I felt the exact same.
Bobby Lee
Because they're like, you have they told you to your face there is no future for you?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And this is where you. We suggest you go. And I'm like, I can't believe there's no way. So I had to go out in the world and, you know, feel some pain.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And then it drove me into whatever I'm doing now.
Andrew Santino
But look at what you. Look at you now.
Bobby Lee
I think that in many ways, pirate poway High school drove me into this because it's like they were. They didn't support me.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
And so that made you stronger. So now, you know what, with that point of view, I don't want to be in the hall of fame.
Andrew Santino
Good. But you do.
Bobby Lee
I don't.
Andrew Santino
You do. A little bit.
Bobby Lee
I do.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I sure do. But you know what? But if it doesn't happen, I understand.
Andrew Santino
It should happen. And I don't understand. And I will say this. I'm going down to San Diego to do shows down there. I'm thinking about stopping by.
Bobby Lee
No. When are you going?
Andrew Santino
Paying a little.
Bobby Lee
When are you going visit? When are you going?
Andrew Santino
I think it's in February. I don't know.
Bobby Lee
I have to go with you.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you do. I think I'm going to pay a little fucking visit to Powell High School. I think it's the move. In fact, you know what I would love to do?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You, Doug Stanhope, used to do shows at Montreal across the street from like the corporate venues or whatever. I think it was Montreal.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Have you heard about that?
Bobby Lee
I remember that. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We should do a show across the street. A pop up show across the street from Poway High. Where is Poway? Look up Poway. And what's across the street? Is it like a field or something?
Bobby Lee
I think there's a theater attached to Poway High School. I don't know if you can rent that out.
Andrew Santino
It's got to be theirs, though.
Bobby Lee
Well, that's.
Andrew Santino
That's on them.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Listen up. If there's anybody at the Performing Arts center, look at.
Carlos
That's nothing to do with the high school. I think.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that Poe center for the. I think. I don't think. I think it's attached to the school, but I think that it's private. Like we can rent it. Maybe we should do our 250 episode from there.
Andrew Santino
Just getting sick of his shit.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
Just getting real sick.
Bobby Lee
Let's let go of this. I mean, are you in yours hall of fame at your school?
Andrew Santino
There is no hall. We don't have a hall of fame. But I'm in like the Wikipedia page. Yeah, me too.
Bobby Lee
I'm in the Wikipedia.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. No, we don't. We don't have a whole thing.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. You don't have one.
Andrew Santino
No. It's actually very weird. I've never.
Bobby Lee
Why do you start one up?
Andrew Santino
Well, I've never heard of this until your school. Do you guys know about your hall of fame having. Andres, I'm clearly not asking you. You didn't go to high school.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I mean, well, you're.
Bobby Lee
Carlos. Your school doesn't have a hall of fame?
Carlos
No, my dad's in the hall of fame at the military school I went to.
Bobby Lee
That's not what we asked.
Andrew Santino
That's not what we asked.
Bobby Lee
Interesting.
Andrew Santino
I was just proud.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. It has nothing to do with you. Anyway. How about you, McCone?
Andrew Santino
I don't know.
Bobby Lee
Can I tell you what I think it is? And you're gonna be so mad.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
It's just too far away from fame.
Andrew Santino
What do you mean I'm too far away from.
Bobby Lee
No, what I'm saying is that like, you know, obviously when you go out into the. You know, it's just less famous. People come from smaller towns. Like for instance.
Andrew Santino
I don't.
Bobby Lee
If you Go to, like, Beverly Hills High, right?
Andrew Santino
Oh, right.
Bobby Lee
How many famous people came from there? A lot because. A lot because the businesses just are enveloped around them, right? There's access and, you know, through nepotism and whatnot.
Andrew Santino
Yes, yes, yes. And it's in the.
Bobby Lee
Know how. It's in the city, right? So I'm sure if you saw the Beverly Hills High School hall of Fame, there's a. It's stacked. But then if you go to, like, you know, Peoria, Illinois, some school, there's hall of Fame, there's probably nobody famous that came from there. I mean, so why would they have a Hall of Fame?
Andrew Santino
Well, we have. We have a not so. I know what you're saying, Although yours isn't impressive either. Let's be honest. It's not like you're saying a million very cool famous people can.
Bobby Lee
Tony Gwynne went to my school. Baseball player. Stephanie Seymour. Supermodel. Had a baby with Axl Rose.
Andrew Santino
Not a real thing. Nobody cares, okay? Nobody cares. Not a real thing. Nobody cares.
Bobby Lee
I care.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, but that's a bullshit. Don't even make a real fame.
Bobby Lee
Tom DeLonge.
Andrew Santino
One guy. Yeah, that's the guy. No, you're not there. You're not even on it. So. No, that's wrong. It's not you. All these other people are nobodies. You're wrong, okay? Tony Gwynn. That was the only one. And by the way, these guys don't even know who Tony Gwynn is. Only I do because I like baseball.
Bobby Lee
Well, they mean one from your school, Andrew Tino. I know. That's it.
Andrew Santino
No, there's. No, There is actually a lot. A lot of pro athletes.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that's good.
Andrew Santino
A lot of athletes.
Bobby Lee
Okay, good.
Carlos
Oh, Bob, did you see you're at a sperm bank as an option for people to want their babies to look like you.
Andrew Santino
What? Seriously?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos
You're under Bill Paxton Young.
Andrew Santino
Wow. Benedict Wong. Bill Paxton and Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee
Who did the check, Mark?
Andrew Santino
You did Carlos.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Mark.
Bobby Lee
Morgan and Morgan.
Andrew Santino
Ow.
Bobby Lee
What happened?
Andrew Santino
Oh, I got into an accident.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah. I just hit you. Sorry.
Andrew Santino
I don't know who to call, who to turn to me. Who are you?
Bobby Lee
Morgan and Morgan.
Andrew Santino
Oh, Morgan and Morgan. That's you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Wow.
Andrew Santino
You're America's largest injury law firm. I've heard about you. You have over 100 offices nationwide and more than a thousand lawyers.
Bobby Lee
That's right.
Andrew Santino
That's you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. With over $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients, man. Morgan and Morgan, which is me, has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation.
Andrew Santino
That's incredible, because I've heard submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is so easy. There's a lot of hard things in life, like putting up with Carlos on this show for you is hard.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Committing an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan easy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And trying to convince myself that Andreas's breasts are manly is hard.
Andrew Santino
That is very hard. But submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is very, very simple.
Bobby Lee
Very easy.
Andrew Santino
If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com bad friends or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone.
Bobby Lee
That's for the people. F o r the people.com bad friends or pound law £509 from your cell.
Andrew Santino
This is a paid advertisement.
Bobby Lee
Alex, do you like canned cranberry sauce, or should we make it ourselves? That's my mom. She didn't know about Instacart's family carts, so I like pecan pie this year, yes or no? Oh, and how many boxes of stuffing? So I told her we could just share a family cart and add all.
Andrew Santino
Our holiday favorites to the same order.
Bobby Lee
Without losing our voices or our sanity. It's so much fun. Alex, can you get my holiday village.
Andrew Santino
Out of the attic?
Bobby Lee
Baby steps, Alex. Baby steps. Shop Instacart this holiday season and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. Alex. This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like, you know, to check the date of the big game first before you accidentally buy tickets on your 20th wedding anniversary and have to spend the next 20 years of your marriage making up for it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company, NFL Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Okay, so how about this? From now on, we. Let's not talk about PO High School hall of Fame ever again.
Andrew Santino
I don't need to. I just.
Bobby Lee
Because last week you kind of bummed me out, but now I'm kind of going through the process of letting it go, and I'm going to let it go.
Andrew Santino
It's an injustice is all I'm going to say.
Bobby Lee
I mean, I truly believe it is, though.
Andrew Santino
I really do. I'm not. I'm not being positioned.
Bobby Lee
I Mean, can I. Can I just try to just verbally say why I think it is your case? State your case. You think I should state my case without bragging?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I mean, that'll be hard to do, but go ahead.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so I have two. I have one very popular podcast.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
With you? Yeah, I have one that's fairly popular. Tiger Belly. Okay. So then I also was on a.
Andrew Santino
Sketch show, a cultural iconic sketch show.
Bobby Lee
On television for eight years.
Andrew Santino
Say, a culturally iconic.
Bobby Lee
A culturally iconic sketch show for eight years.
Andrew Santino
Correct.
Bobby Lee
I've done numerous bit parts and comedy.
Andrew Santino
Movies and television shows.
Bobby Lee
I've been a series regular on a couple of TV shows.
Andrew Santino
One of the most famous of a remake of a TV show as well.
Bobby Lee
Which one's that?
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah.
Bobby Lee
Sex and the Six. That's a recurring. Yeah. Reservation. I mean, I've just done a lot of Hawaii 5o. Yeah. Magnum, P.I.
Andrew Santino
Same thing.
Bobby Lee
I know what it is. I've done. I've done a lot.
Andrew Santino
You got yelled at by Adam Sandler.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I got yelled at by Adam Sandler.
Andrew Santino
How many people have been yelled at by Adam Sandler on that list?
Bobby Lee
Also, I've done the Tonight show as a standup and now I'm coming out with a special on a major streaming. I mean, I've done a lot.
Andrew Santino
A lot.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
A lot.
Bobby Lee
And if. If that. If that doesn't do it, what does? I don't know. What else does?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I don't know.
Bobby Lee
And it's. So then it's personal. They just don't like me and what I stand for. And that's okay.
Andrew Santino
That is okay. Who's on?
Bobby Lee
That's okay.
Andrew Santino
Who's on the board? Can we find out who's on?
Bobby Lee
I don't want. I don't want to know. They don't like me.
Andrew Santino
I'm going to call them and it's.
Bobby Lee
Because I go and all that stuff. I mean, and that's who I am, you know?
Andrew Santino
Don't show us any more sperm banks. Yeah, no, that we were going to pop up.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. No more sperm banks. No more sperm bank.
Andrew Santino
You can bring up some other bullshit if you had it. I saw you digging.
Bobby Lee
Because it's embarrassing to fight for that. What I just did there was embarrassing.
Andrew Santino
No, it's not embarrassing. Yeah, you deserve. You deserve to be recognized. What do you got? What is that?
Bobby Lee
What is this?
Andrew Santino
What do you got? What?
Carlos
Yeah, I just found this gay Chinese guy. I thought you'd like him.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Used to say gay in Chinese. What's his name?
Carlos
Luke.
Bobby Lee
If that was my brother, my dad. Oh, my God, how awesome.
Andrew Santino
His name is Luke. Luke. Luke Chinese.
Bobby Lee
And you would never see Luke again.
Andrew Santino
Luke Chinese. Yeah, his name's just Luke Chinese.
Bobby Lee
He's the best.
Andrew Santino
That's the three ways to say gay and Chinese.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Now can I. I don't want to be racist against my own ethnicity.
Andrew Santino
It's not really.
Bobby Lee
Why.
Andrew Santino
That's near you.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
He's Chinese.
Bobby Lee
No, that's. I don't say nationality. I said ethnicity.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah, but.
Bobby Lee
But he's Asian. Isn't the ethnicity kind of.
Andrew Santino
He's Chinese. They're.
Bobby Lee
Oh, so they're uber Asians.
Andrew Santino
They're the most Asian.
Bobby Lee
Oh, they are. Okay.
Andrew Santino
They're the most Asian.
Bobby Lee
My bad, my bad, my bad. Okay, so he's full blown Asian.
Andrew Santino
He's 100 Asian.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. And I'm just mid drip.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you're.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the adjacent.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you're right. Next.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And without being controversial. Yeah, right. Does he have a big head? I'm a cop. That guy robbed you. Yeah, right. And you gotta. So what did the guy look like when. The person that robbed you. Did you get a good look at him?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it was a Chinese guy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. So Chinese.
Andrew Santino
He had like a shaved head.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Or not shaved head, but buzz hair. Got buzz hair.
Bobby Lee
All right, so I'm gonna get my illustrator. Come here, Frank. Frank. Frank comes. Okay, so I haven't really, because. Buzz head, but like. Shape of the face.
Andrew Santino
Shape of the face.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, just the overall shape of it.
Andrew Santino
It was overall.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it was. What do you mean?
Andrew Santino
Well, you said the overall shape. It was an overall shape.
Bobby Lee
Oh, so that.
Andrew Santino
Sorry. Oval, all shape.
Bobby Lee
Oval shape.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it was all oval.
Bobby Lee
So is it more wider or is it top to bottom? I mean, can you.
Andrew Santino
It's kind of both.
Bobby Lee
Oh, so just a gigantic. Like a moon, Kind of like a moon. All right.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, like a moon.
Bobby Lee
Like a moon. Okay, so. And his body.
Andrew Santino
His body. Yeah, yeah, Yes, I remember it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. What's his body like?
Andrew Santino
Thick. Also well fed.
Bobby Lee
Right? Well fed.
Andrew Santino
Not hungry.
Bobby Lee
So Mars.
Andrew Santino
Yes. Yeah, it was kind of the moon.
Bobby Lee
Yes. Mars.
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
And then moon.
Andrew Santino
Correct.
Bobby Lee
All right, put that out. I think they.
Andrew Santino
They got him. They got him right away.
Bobby Lee
Interesting. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Chinese. Luke, we love you.
Bobby Lee
We love.
Andrew Santino
I just want to let you know, we love you.
Bobby Lee
A lot of followers.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Luke. Chinese. He's killing it 141. He educates people on how to say things in Chinese. Carlos just goes for how to say gay in Chinese. In case you go to China. Is that what that's for?
Carlos
Yeah. We run into some Chinese people in Singapore.
Andrew Santino
Interesting. And we just might. And you got to be. You know. You know, when we go to Singapore.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You better be on your best behavior. They will lock you up for fucking around over there. You know this, right?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
This is not that. Not a joke. I'm not making a joke, but what.
Carlos
Around would get me in trouble?
Bobby Lee
I don't know. You know, even asking. Hey, you guys have any holes against wall?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Where the holes at?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Carlos
It'd be, like, illegal asking for holes.
Andrew Santino
100%.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
If you spit gum on the ground, they beat the shit out of you.
Carlos
Well, I already looked up the.
Bobby Lee
Look.
Andrew Santino
Look up crazy laws in Singapore. It's nuts. They're gonna get you, bud. Chewing gum is not illegal.
Bobby Lee
All right?
Andrew Santino
Selling it is. The penalty for selling gum is up to $100,000.
Bobby Lee
So we can't. Can we try to. Can we try to smuggle some gum across the. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's why we're bringing McCone.
Bobby Lee
All right.
Andrew Santino
Second one is bad for you.
Bobby Lee
So here's. Here's the thing.
Andrew Santino
Smoking is illegal everywhere, and E cigarettes are banned.
Bobby Lee
You gotta bring up. You gotta bring a 12 pack of bubble Yum.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Bubblicious.
Bobby Lee
Bubblicious. If I don't see that in Singapore, dude, we're gonna have a problem.
Andrew Santino
Also.
Bobby Lee
Write that down to Carlos.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, write it down.
Bobby Lee
So public smoking. I smoke.
Andrew Santino
So smoking is illegal in most places. E cigarettes are banned. If caught smoking public, you can face up to $800 fine. Oh, fuck it. I have $800 connecting to someone else's WI fi.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God. Do that all the time.
Andrew Santino
All the time. Whoa, wait. That's punishable. Three. Three years. My death, $10,000 fine.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
All right, so a thousand dollars.
Bobby Lee
I'm a jaywalker.
Andrew Santino
I'm jj Walk.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, dude, I jaywalk all the time.
Andrew Santino
Not flushing a public toilet. Leaving pooper piss in a urinal can result in 150.
Bobby Lee
That's it. I'm not going. Okay? There's a whack I can't get. I can't go.
Andrew Santino
This one's going to hurt you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Walking naked at home. There's a penalty for walking around naked at your own home. Insane. Feeding pigeons. This one's from a cone. That's a criminal offense, buddy. Yeah, $500 fine.
Bobby Lee
That's on you, dude.
Andrew Santino
Don't get any ideas.
Bobby Lee
So what's it.
Andrew Santino
Singing in public? Oh, singing or reciting of. So Jet Ski is going to be in deep shit.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Illegal conversation.
Bobby Lee
This is what we want to. We want to test some of these rules.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I do.
Bobby Lee
So here's what I'm going to do, okay. I want to get a whole pack of bubble Yum, stick it in my mouth, right?
Andrew Santino
And naked. Chew on it.
Bobby Lee
Two cigarettes I dangle out of my mouth, right? And I'm going to be half naked in the streets and I'm going to go. It's a hard knock life for us. It's a hard knock life far. And I'm going to just see how long it's going to take.
Andrew Santino
Oh my God, you think quick. Yeah. So fast.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Wait a minute. Being homosexual punishment is up to two years in jail.
Bobby Lee
Oh, Carlos, you can't go.
Carlos
No, we'll just go for one each.
Bobby Lee
All right. That's insane.
Andrew Santino
Drinking alcohol between 10pm, 10:30pm and 7am.
Bobby Lee
What does that say? What doesn't say? I don't see that. Oh, yeah, there it is. Holy shit.
Andrew Santino
Oh no.
Bobby Lee
Oh, what?
Andrew Santino
We can't fly a kite. That interferes with public traffic.
Bobby Lee
Oh no.
Andrew Santino
What are we gonna do with all that? Fucking kites. We get all bin at kites. That sucks. We were gonna bring all those. So what's busking is singing for money on the street busking? You know when you're like singing with a hat.
Bobby Lee
I was gonna bring my acoustic guitar.
Andrew Santino
How are we? Dude, we should be busking.
Bobby Lee
We should busk over.
Andrew Santino
Can you imagine? They fucking arrest you for busking.
Bobby Lee
That's insane.
Andrew Santino
Firecrackers. Pirated content are banned. Pornographic stuff. I mean, we're not bring any magazines, I guess.
Bobby Lee
Okay, wait, wait. I bet you money they block porn sites there.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you vpn. Gotta get a VPN on your phone.
Bobby Lee
I have a vpn?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Then you can watch whatever you want. That's what I do. Yeah, they block porn 100 because I've always wanted to.
Bobby Lee
Like, because I've never really been to a. You know, I'm a strip club at a Asian country.
Andrew Santino
Me neither. Oh, they have them there.
Bobby Lee
Do they have strip clubs in.
Andrew Santino
In Singapore?
Bobby Lee
Singapore?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
What's it called?
Carlos
Ten Men's Club. That might be a one you don't want to go to.
Bobby Lee
Why?
Andrew Santino
Well, because it's 10 men. You'll heal.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but what if I know those men?
Andrew Santino
Wait, what?
Bobby Lee
Oh, shit.
Andrew Santino
John the Emperor. We're. It's a. We're a bit run down. The women are beautiful, which makes for good eye candy. Well, they're honest.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so they do have it out There, I guess.
Andrew Santino
But it doesn't really look like. Is porno. Is porn. Is.
Bobby Lee
Carlos, we gotta go.
Carlos
Hell, yeah.
Bobby Lee
Hell, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Is porn illegal in Singapore? I feel like it. Yes.
Bobby Lee
Do we want to go?
Andrew Santino
I don't know. I mean, they.
Bobby Lee
All right. Google if they have any Michelin star restaurants. I mean, that's an incentive.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
What's the best, like, top three restaurants? Because I love food.
Andrew Santino
Oh, there you go. Michelin guide is Singapore. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Oh, we.
Andrew Santino
So all right. They've got a lot.
Bobby Lee
Oh, here's the deal, dude.
Andrew Santino
We will go to all these.
Bobby Lee
No, no. I need someone from our team to make reservations before. I'm being real.
Andrew Santino
Odette.
Carlos
I'm writing this down.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. At least four of them.
Andrew Santino
I also have a list of places that we can go because my friend. My friends that have gone have. Yeah, there's spots that are great.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Scary times usa.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We had a great. I had a great time in.
Bobby Lee
I think it was better than the last one we did.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it was great.
Bobby Lee
I think that if all of them went like that, I'd be encouraged to do more.
Andrew Santino
I had so much fun on it.
Bobby Lee
You know what it was is that we didn't rehearse that much. You know, you guys kept it loose.
Andrew Santino
We had good bits lined up.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I mean, we kind of knew the directions, but it's like in terms of order. And so I think they were mixed up a little bit. But I was fine with it. I thought. I just thought the guest was great. It was surprising to see the angry grandmother.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
She was what a sweet lady. You know, they drove here from Michigan. I just love her and a grandson so much. And then.
Andrew Santino
So funny.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And then Dax Flame came by. Love Dax the Goobadopolis.
Bobby Lee
The Goobadopoulos came. And I thought on top of that.
Andrew Santino
We had a drag queen book reading.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Because I wanted to get educated.
Bobby Lee
I thought Jules was fun. I thought was the whole thing was very positive. And we should do it again.
Andrew Santino
I would love to do it again. I had a great time. I like doing stuff like that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. It's different than this because it's like. It's looser.
Andrew Santino
It's wild.
Bobby Lee
It's wild.
Andrew Santino
And the interaction with the fans. I do love when we get to talk to the fans, bringing them up on screen, seeing them in their home.
Bobby Lee
You know, I mean, we could dedicate for a second to talk about our fans first, because I don't think we do that enough.
Andrew Santino
Give it to me.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. It's the thing that keeps me going I think.
Andrew Santino
Oh, that's beautiful and sad at the same time.
Bobby Lee
No, it is sad. It's more sad than beautiful. It's the thing that makes me kind of want to get up and put one foot in front of the other and move forward. That we have people and we've met them in the streets.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And it just. It's a real surprise and a real blessing. And I. I've just been. What? Why'd you shake your head?
Carlos
Because I don't believe it.
Bobby Lee
I would like to address something in the room. No, no, no, no. I'd really like to address something in the room and.
Andrew Santino
Please.
Bobby Lee
I know we've said it as a joke, you know, I mean, about firing and changing the team up.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, we have.
Bobby Lee
And, you know, we do it in jest, you know, I really mean this. I think we should change it up.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Because right there, right there was fucking out of pocket.
Andrew Santino
Out of pocket. It was unaligned with my morals and my blatant disrespect. Blatant disrespectful and cringe worthy, if I'll be honest.
Bobby Lee
You know, so. You know, I've noticed lately you talk to me in a certain way as if we're bros. That's so not true. As if we're both captains of the same ship.
Andrew Santino
No. And on this ship, dude, you're scooping shit.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I'm the captain.
Carlos
No, that's projection.
Bobby Lee
That's not even that respond right there is what I'm talking about. Even just that response right there.
Carlos
I don't curse at you.
Bobby Lee
That's that response to everything you're saying right now, dude, is what I'm talking about.
Carlos
Grew up.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Carlos
I'm having flash.
Bobby Lee
No, you never. You never used to be like this. And so for me to get vulnerable, to talk about the fans and for you to call me out on something that wasn't even a thing. Right. Is really hurtful.
Andrew Santino
It is.
Bobby Lee
And do I have time to apologize? No, no, no, no. There's no time. No, you didn't. The damage is done. So I'm going to highly consider maybe coming up with other options.
Andrew Santino
I'm okay with that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Let's talk about the. All the group.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Might as well. McCone.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You've been a lot better with me.
Andrew Santino
Impressive.
Bobby Lee
You're not. You're not needy. You know what I mean? And I think you've softened a little bit. I think you know how to read me in the situation. And I. I think that you're good for right now.
Andrew Santino
You're okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Fancy. I will never do your zombie movie. I will never do it. You know, in fact, I will do nothing outside of this with you.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You know?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I think that you attack me way more than you attack Andrew.
Andrew Santino
That's true.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
That's undeniable about how fat I am. Hey. What? What? Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You agree?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But you know what?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, You're.
Andrew Santino
You're. Honestly, though.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You speak your mind.
Andrew Santino
You are skating on thin ice.
Bobby Lee
There's no ice. There's no ice. There's no Iceland.
Andrew Santino
All right, well, you're on a lake.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. You're. You have skates on and you're in the water.
Carlos
Why? What did I do that's so bad? Besides, he's.
Andrew Santino
The last couple times he said to me that you're frustrating him for some reason, and I think it's because, look, you run the Instagram account for bad friends, right?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You do a great job.
Bobby Lee
Thank you.
Andrew Santino
I think a little bit of that follower number is going to your head. A little bit.
Carlos
I mean, we.
Andrew Santino
See, See?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
See, it's going to his head. Are you using it to DM people?
Carlos
No, I do that on my own account.
Andrew Santino
But, I mean, do you ever, like.
Carlos
Transfer the girl over to Herrera? Carlos, Obviously.
Andrew Santino
Okay, so it's. It's power. He's got power now.
Bobby Lee
You know, I also.
Andrew Santino
A good amount of power.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I also want to say this. And this is from my heart.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
And managing the Australian tour, and you're.
Andrew Santino
Doing a great job.
Bobby Lee
Great job. I didn't say you didn't. You know, you weren't doing a good job. I'm saying your relationship with me. Yeah, he's talking about how I feel in the workplace.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Okay. And for many years, I thought that you work for us and we happen to be at 7 Akis.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
But the truth is, you work for 7 Akis and you're a spy.
Carlos
That's insane.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. You're. You're a spy because I see you over there, right? And you know, the woodwork. Very comfortable there.
Andrew Santino
Very comfortable.
Bobby Lee
And that's. You know, I understand now that you're not really on our ship. You're a hired gun.
Carlos
But I should know that place, because I go to work there. I should know my way around.
Andrew Santino
This does sound like some spy, though.
Bobby Lee
It's spy dude.
Carlos
No, I'm a double agent.
Bobby Lee
That's what we're saying.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that's. That's not a good thing. No, that's not a good thing. You're working both sides.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So what's the real end game?
Carlos
Just hanging with my bros. I just want.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Bobby Lee
That's not that.
Carlos
Is it?
Andrew Santino
No, that's not it.
Bobby Lee
That's not. No, no, no, that's not it.
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What's the real end game?
Bobby Lee
What's the end game here, dude? Our demise.
Carlos
I have had this fantasy.
Bobby Lee
Here we go. This is the truth. Let's hear it.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Finally.
Bobby Lee
I love it.
Carlos
No, it has nothing to do with Andrew.
Andrew Santino
Oh, no. What is it?
Carlos
That I come in with some really good news. Like, guys, I finally did it. I have another job. I. I thought you'd be, like, so proud of me. I didn't need your help to get there. I'm gonna go spread my wings and I'm gonna say, like, you, Bobby, because you're gonna make fun of me in that moment, and I'm gonna be prepared.
Andrew Santino
So you daydream about telling Bobby to go himself. That's like a moment.
Carlos
No, it's a night dream sometimes.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you. This is like an immersive dream where you feel it. You feel paralysis.
Carlos
I can't even get out of it.
Andrew Santino
But you feel it. You're saying fuck you to him and it feels good. In your dream?
Carlos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Carlos
You didn't say hi to me or undress for five minutes at Andrew's party. And then you made fun of us for having a conversation alone. I should be allowed to talk to Fancy.
Bobby Lee
Okay, I understand.
Carlos
You don't understand.
Bobby Lee
Let's talk about something else. I understand now. I know. I understand it. It just came to me, like, you.
Andrew Santino
Know you saw it.
Bobby Lee
I saw it all.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Bobby Lee
Like, the first time I saw it. You know what I mean? You remember they live.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I could put the glasses on and then. I know what it is.
Andrew Santino
It's clear.
Bobby Lee
I see the writing in the wall. You mean I see the world. I see the Matrix and it's again stacked up against me. And I have to, like. I have to survive.
Andrew Santino
You do. You have to fight back.
Bobby Lee
I do have to survive.
Andrew Santino
Because you can't just sit there.
Bobby Lee
I can't sit there and let them take over.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I think I'm generous.
Carlos
The guy cleaning the boat can, like, sharpen his knife at night and dream about murdering the captain.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Andrew Santino
Oh, my.
Bobby Lee
It's a common wow. Wow.
Andrew Santino
This is how you feel?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We're finally double.
Bobby Lee
I love it. This is the real stuff.
Andrew Santino
This is it.
Bobby Lee
I love it. This is the real stuff. No. What's Real. No, no, that's bullshit.
Carlos
So tell everyone in comedy, you've always been my homie. You and Andrew, I've always trusted.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, but.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but what? But what?
Carlos
But sometimes you have bully tactics.
Bobby Lee
I don't have bully tactics.
Carlos
Oh, that's not talking to me. In fancy, when you walk in, you only talk to the famous people.
Andrew Santino
He was busy.
Bobby Lee
I was busy talking to the famous people. Thank you.
Carlos
Sorry.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. I walk in, oh, there's famous. Oh, let's go to the guys I see every day. I mean, what are you talking about?
Andrew Santino
But that's his job, to go talk to other people.
Bobby Lee
Exactly. It's work.
Andrew Santino
He's a personality, you know, and you should know that.
Carlos
You're right.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean?
Carlos
You're right.
Bobby Lee
You know that time that you were hitting on Kalila when I was dating her?
Carlos
That is insane.
Bobby Lee
What? You know what I mean? You don't think I know about that either, Dude. So you know me. You want to go? You want to go? You want to go. Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right.
Andrew Santino
Have you had an issue recently with somebody? Yeah. Okay. That's why I can feel this.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Something's going on.
Bobby Lee
Something's going on with him. Yeah, because you know, when he. Something's going on, he attacks and he's attacking me. You know, you're on this guy. You know, here's the truth guy, Right?
Carlos
I love you too.
Bobby Lee
That's what I said.
Andrew Santino
What he said. Here's the truth.
Carlos
I know he was about to say, I love you.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no youo know, I've always had a sense that, you know, I liked you more than you liked me. That's so.
Andrew Santino
I felt that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, me too.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And I'm willing to. I'm willing to fight your hate with my love.
Carlos
Thank you.
Andrew Santino
That's interesting.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Pretty interesting, huh?
Andrew Santino
And can I tell you something about that?
Bobby Lee
Tell me about it.
Andrew Santino
When you said, fight hate with love.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know who did that?
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Jesus.
Bobby Lee
That's right.
Andrew Santino
And what did your counselor in high school tell you? To be a carpenter. So it is right here.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Andrew Santino
Dude, you are a carpenter, and you're a carpenter of the soul. So what you're doing is you're building cabinets. You're. Well, a love castle is what I was gonna say.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You're building a love castle.
Bobby Lee
And others things, of course, Gazebos and whatnot.
Andrew Santino
Sure, they have to be built on the outside, but build the love castle. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And go ahead, throw it in a joke.
Andrew Santino
Go ahead, throw in a joke.
Bobby Lee
I'll Let you have it and go say it. I have it over again. I'm building, like, little gazebos.
Andrew Santino
Little gazebos. Yeah. You have to build those as well.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Cabinet.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And it stairs on the ceiling. It wasn't even fun.
Andrew Santino
It wasn't even a good joke. We waited for a bomb.
Bobby Lee
We waited all that time.
Andrew Santino
We waited for a fucking bomb. And stairs on the.
Bobby Lee
Dude, why did you laugh so hard at that?
Andrew Santino
Because he knew how.
Bobby Lee
My guy was pretty bad. Oh, my God. They look like fucking stairs, dude.
Andrew Santino
Hey, Bobby's building a love castle.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Cabinets and gazebos.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And if Carlos is going to come at you throwing fireballs of hate flame.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Guess what?
Bobby Lee
I have a love shield.
Andrew Santino
You have a love shield, and you did a benefit for firefighters, so they will be there if you need them to put out this negative fire. That's really what I feel.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And this podcast has been about grievances now.
Andrew Santino
Grievances. A lot of grievances.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I've got another one I'd like to air out.
Bobby Lee
I would love to hear your grievances. This is what the show's about.
Andrew Santino
Air out. A little grievance here.
Bobby Lee
Tell me.
Andrew Santino
Mind.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, exactly.
Andrew Santino
Got a little something something I knew. Hey, just step up to the mic.
Bobby Lee
Preach. Preach, my friend.
Andrew Santino
You're not even gonna believe this.
Bobby Lee
You know what?
Andrew Santino
Maybe you are.
Bobby Lee
I will believe it.
Andrew Santino
Okay, good.
Bobby Lee
Right? Because he can do anything, right? He's diabolical.
Andrew Santino
He is. All right, so endless.
Bobby Lee
Tell it to me, friend.
Andrew Santino
Okay. This guy, he's going to Detroit with me this week in Detroit and Grand Rapids. I said, you know, I'm going to get you out there so you can film and stuff like that.
Bobby Lee
Why not?
Andrew Santino
What's my budget for cameras? That's what he says. What's my budget for cameras? My budget for cameras.
Bobby Lee
I'm sorry, he's not Aaron Sorkin.
Andrew Santino
No, he thinks he is.
Bobby Lee
I'm trying to expand.
Andrew Santino
What's my budget? Timeout. This is even better one. I said, well, let's get you the flights. Let's look at the flights. Very expensive flights, weren't they? They were very expensive. I call, we take care of it. It's fine. Let's get the flights. Text. Hey, I'll show you.
Bobby Lee
Hey, wait, hold on. If he says, honestly, dude, if he mentions anything about business class, oh, yeah, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I'm being real. I will lose my fucking mind.
Andrew Santino
Comfort plus or better, then what did he say? Can I get Comfort plus or better?
Bobby Lee
I'll fucking show you Comforts.
Andrew Santino
Go get him. Go him, up. Go. This guy up. He thinks he needs room for all of his camera equipment. I say, you're not gonna put that under the seat.
Carlos
I'm tall and I have to put under.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no business class.
Bobby Lee
No WestJet.
Andrew Santino
No spearri.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Spirit in the air.
Bobby Lee
You know what, dude? Cancel it.
Andrew Santino
All right?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it.
Andrew Santino
That's a good call.
Bobby Lee
It's ins. You know what it's like. You give them an inch, they take a mile.
Andrew Santino
All of it. They take all of it first.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've heard that phrase before, right? That's what you are, giving people an inch.
Andrew Santino
Whoa. Fucking fucker. Dude.
Bobby Lee
So, dudes, what a holy. I've never. Why are you laughing?
Andrew Santino
I'm not.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. That was insane.
Andrew Santino
Step back from the mic.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, step back from there.
Andrew Santino
Jesus Christ.
Bobby Lee
What do you say?
Andrew Santino
Let's talk about giving people an inch. Yeah, really good.
Bobby Lee
It's pretty good.
Andrew Santino
Now, take notes, Spaniard.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's the kind of we like over.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that was a good one.
Andrew Santino
That's gonna get him back in the running.
Bobby Lee
Not in with me.
Andrew Santino
No, no, but still as a whole.
Bobby Lee
Not with me. But we. We took a couple of steps back. Okay. You know me, but. Wow.
Andrew Santino
Wow. All right, Carlos, clear the air. Finally. Just say what you need to say.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, go ahead.
Andrew Santino
Because I know you got. I know you want to just say it, so just say what you want to say.
Carlos
I'm sorry, Bob.
Andrew Santino
No, that's not what it is. That's not what it is.
Bobby Lee
What are you sorry about?
Carlos
I'm sorry that I had those dark feelings about wanting to murder you. And I thought that in our final moment of me coming here and wanting to spread my wings, that you'd be proud.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
That's not what I was mad about. You brought. That. You brought that up with unsolicited.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I didn't even need to know that. You know what I mean? You made it worse by bringing that up.
Andrew Santino
Way worse.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. What I'm saying is that I was giving a heartfelt message to the fans. You thought I was lying, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, now I know way more information, and now I feel even more angry.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean? It's like, why would you have these fantasies? I've never had a dreadful fantasy about you. You mean, I. I've had fantasies of, like, saving you when you were drowning or something.
Carlos
Really?
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Or emotionally.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, emotionally.
Andrew Santino
Literally.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my point is, is that I've only thought. Positive. I've only said positive things about you in the world. Right. And for you to even have held.
Carlos
At me so many times as a.
Bobby Lee
Dude, that's my role as a boss.
Carlos
I'm sensitive sometimes.
Bobby Lee
No, you're not.
Carlos
I am. I got. We got in a fight in Atlanta and my. You've hurt my feelings.
Bobby Lee
What was the fight about?
Carlos
It would like a microphone not working in a previous show or something.
Bobby Lee
Exactly. And should have worked. You're right, exactly. No, like, sustained pedals never work at venues.
Andrew Santino
Never once.
Bobby Lee
Not one time. I'm in front of thousands of people and, oh, shit, the sustain's not working. I should. You know, it's like. There's so many things that I could. Right. But I don't, you know. Get your shit together, man.
Carlos
It's getting together. It's together. It's been together. We're going to go to Australia. You're going to eat at your fucking Michelin restaurants. You're going to see.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Carlos
No, that's just me being passionate.
Bobby Lee
Wow. Wow, wow. I know, I know, I know, I know. I get. I can't believe it.
Andrew Santino
It didn't sound like passion, dude.
Bobby Lee
It didn't sound like passion. It sounded like deep resentment.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, passionate. Do passionate fancy. Give me passionate.
Bobby Lee
I love working with you, Bobby. And we're gonna make an awesome zombie movie together.
Andrew Santino
Oh, no, no. Delusional.
Bobby Lee
You know what, bud? You know, I'm gonna do the. Okay, I'll do your zombie Bobby.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, don't do that.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I'll do it. But he will. Yeah, that's passion.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And McCone, I have a small penis.
Andrew Santino
No, you don't.
Bobby Lee
I don't, but that's what you told the world.
Andrew Santino
But it's not.
Bobby Lee
Thank you so much for doing that, man. Like I don't have enough problems. The world knows it worked. The world know it's good.
Andrew Santino
Okay, just stop.
Bobby Lee
I have a very good penis. And then we'll see. Thank you for being bad friend.
Andrew Santino
Great.
Podcast Summary: Bad Friends – Episode "Fireballs Of Hate Flame"
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Production: A 7EQUIS Production
Title: Fireballs Of Hate Flame
Knowledge Cutoff: October 2023
The episode begins with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino discussing their recent live show, "Scary Times USA." Both express enthusiasm and pride over the performance, highlighting it as one of their best and strongest shows to date.
Notable Quotes:
They inform listeners that those who missed the live event can watch an edited version available at Moment Co. Additionally, they promote exclusive merchandise related to the show, emphasizing the limited availability with only 18 days left for purchases.
Bobby and Andrew transition into a discussion about generational differences in movie familiarity, specifically referencing the cult classic "Soylent Green." They ponder whether younger audiences, particularly those born around the year 2000, are aware of such films and their iconic twists.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation humorously touches on how modern content consumption, especially through platforms like YouTube, leads viewers to react unpredictably to classic movie moments they might not fully understand.
The hosts recount their experience attending a firefighter benefit show at the Improv, featuring stand-up performances by local firefighters. They share amusing anecdotes about the performers' varied comedic styles and the unique atmosphere of the event.
Notable Quotes:
Bobby humorously describes himself stalling on stage with antics like pretending to poke himself, while Andrew commends his resilience, teasing him about ultimately not being "broken" despite the challenges.
Notable Quotes:
They also discuss the logistics of firefighting, including the integration of paramedics in fire crews, highlighting the multifaceted roles firefighters often play.
A significant portion of the episode delves into the dynamics of friendship between Bobby, Andrew, and their friend Carlos. The conversation touches on the misconception that Andrew is part of his high school's Hall of Fame, leading to a deeper exploration of their personal histories and achievements.
Notable Quotes:
Bobby lists his accomplishments, including hosting the "TigerBelly" podcast, acting in the culturally iconic sketch show "Sex and the Six," and appearing in various television shows such as "Magnum P.I." and "Hawaii Five-O." He rhetorically asks why these achievements haven't secured him a place in the Hall of Fame, suggesting a perceived lack of recognition.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts engage in playful but pointed banter about each other's social lives, professional endeavors, and the authenticity of their friendships. The tension escalates as they confront each other's behaviors and perceived shortcomings, leading to a heated exchange.
Notable Quotes:
Carlos attempts to mediate, expressing remorse over past conflicts and hinting at internal struggles, which further fuels the hosts' frustrations. The conversation reveals underlying tensions and feelings of being undervalued or misunderstood within their friendship circle.
The episode intensifies as Bobby and Andrew air out personal grievances, exposing vulnerabilities and frustrations that have built up over time. Carlos becomes a pivotal figure in this segment, attempting to clear the air and mend relationships.
Notable Quotes:
Their back-and-forth includes humorous jabs, sincere apologies, and the acknowledgment of their mutual support despite conflicts. Bobby reflects on his high school experiences, emphasizing how they shaped his resilience and determination, while Andrew counters by highlighting Bobby's significant contributions and achievements.
Notable Quotes:
By the episode's conclusion, there's a sense of reconciliation as they recognize each other's strengths and the importance of their partnership in "Bad Friends." Despite the confrontations, the underlying theme underscores the complexity of friendships in the public eye, balancing personal grievances with professional camaraderie.
"Fireballs Of Hate Flame" serves as a candid exploration of Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino's friendship, interwoven with humorous anecdotes, personal reflections, and the candid airing of internal conflicts. The episode effectively captures the essence of their dynamic—balancing camaraderie with competitive banter—while offering listeners an unfiltered glimpse into their personal and professional lives.
Notable Quotes:
Through this episode, listeners gain insight into the challenges and triumphs of maintaining a creative partnership, the impact of past experiences on present relationships, and the unwavering dedication to their podcast and live shows.
Relevant Links and Promotions:
Note: This summary excludes commercial segments and focuses solely on the episode's content and key discussions.