Life & Fettuccini

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends – Episode “Life & Fettuccini”

Release Date: May 26, 2025

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Guest: Dax Flame
Production: A 7EQUIS Production

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1. Renaissance Fair Adventures

The episode kicks off with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino reminiscing about their recent experience at a Renaissance Fair. Dressed in traditional Korean hanbok, the duo recounts how their unique attire garnered unexpected attention. Andrew humorously notes, “We were a hit at the resident renaissance fair” (01:29), highlighting how attendees were so impressed that some even bowed to them. This segment is rich with playful banter as they tease each other about their performances and accents, creating a lively and engaging atmosphere for listeners.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Santino: “We made everyone do accents.” (01:42)

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2. The Art of Spell Casting

Transitioning from historical attire to mystical practices, Bobby and Andrew delve into the whimsical world of spell casting. They introduce their playful endeavor to create a revenge spell, aiming to "destroy these evil people" through their magical gestures. The conversation is filled with comedic attempts to devise chants and magical incantations, demonstrating their natural chemistry and humor.

Notable Quote:

Bobby Lee: “Rival be gone.” (11:36)

Andrew elaborates on the mechanics of their spell, joking about the cost and authenticity of their magical services: “If you want to cast a spell on a friend, hit up Angelica and use promo code Bad Friends for 15% off” (18:33). This light-hearted segment underscores their camaraderie and knack for blending humor with fantastical elements.

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3. Movie Casting Misadventures

Andrew shares his humorous struggles with securing roles in the film industry. He recounts his disappointment upon not being cast in his desired project, “Death and Ramen”, and instead landing a role in a mockingly titled movie, “Life and Fettuccine”. The exchange between Bobby and Andrew is rife with sarcasm and playful frustration, illustrating the often unpredictable nature of show business.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Santino: “When they asked, no, unfortunately not. Unfortunately not.” (06:48)
Bobby Lee: “You got Life and Fettuccine.” (06:16)

This segment not only provides laughs but also offers listeners a candid glimpse into the challenges and absurdities of pursuing creative endeavors.

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4. Guest Segment: Dax Flame’s Japanese Journey

The highlight of the episode is the guest appearance by Dax Flame, who shares his recent trip to Japan. Dax details his experiences, from exploring Shinjuku to attending a Tokyo Giants baseball game. His narration is supplemented with anecdotes about cultural interactions, such as attempting to communicate in Japanese and encountering local pop groups.

Notable Quote:

Dax Flame: “I met up with a Japanese pop group and filmed a video.” (61:37)
Bobby Lee: “You have a good story, Dax.” (45:43)

Dax’s stories are interspersed with humorous exchanges about souvenirs, like his attempt to buy used underwear from a vending machine—a moment that elicits hearty laughs from Bobby and Andrew.

Hear it from the hosts:

Andrew Santino: “Look at how compact, sleek and cool and unique that this wallet is.” (23:11)
Bobby Lee: “We got gifts.” (71:56)

Dax also interacts with the hosts in real-time, including playful discussions about sending him on a world tour and attempting to cast additional spells to influence his romantic endeavors.

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5. Interactive Humor and Audience Engagement

Throughout the episode, Bobby and Andrew engage in playful banter, often turning the conversation towards funny hypotheticals and magical "spells" to influence each other’s lives. They encourage audience participation by involving their guest in mock spell-casting rituals to improve personal relationships, blending fantasy with humor seamlessly.

Notable Quote:

Bobby Lee: “You owe him like a hundred dollars.” (70:14)
Andrew Santino: “We’re confirmed.” (69:59)

This interactive element keeps the episode dynamic and entertaining, ensuring listeners are both amused and engaged.

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6. Reflections on Culture and Media

The conversation occasionally veers into reflections on cultural differences and the influence of media. For instance, they discuss the Soviet propaganda experienced by Yakov Smirnoff’s stories and the impact it had on perceptions of Americans, intertwining historical insights with comedic observations.

Notable Quote:

Bobby Lee: “They painted this picture over and over and you inherently will just 100% believe it.” (37:00)

Such segments offer depth to the otherwise lighthearted discussions, providing listeners with thoughtful commentary wrapped in humor.

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Conclusion

In "Life & Fettuccini," Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, along with guest Dax Flame, deliver an episode brimming with humor, camaraderie, and entertaining stories. From Renaissance Fair antics and whimsical spell casting to Dax Flame’s cultural escapades in Japan, the episode offers a delightful blend of laughter and heartfelt moments. Listeners are treated to the trademark Bad Friends chemistry, ensuring an engaging and memorable experience.

Episode Rating: ★★★★★

Stay Connected:
Follow Bad Friends on Instagram, Patreon, TikTok, and their website for more updates and exclusive content.

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Timestamps Overview

• 00:00 - 00:32: Advertisements for Babbel and Huell (Skipped)
• 00:37 - 03:06: Introduction and Renaissance Fair Stories
• 03:07 - 11:35: Spell Casting Segment
• 11:36 - 18:45: Continued Spell Discussions and Ad Breaks (Focused Content Extracted)
• 18:46 - 41:11: Advertisements and Transition to Guest Segment (Skipped)
• 41:12 - 75:55: Dax Flame’s Japan Trip and Interactive Banter
• 75:56 - End: Final Interactions and Closing Remarks

Note: Advertisements and non-content segments were omitted as per guidelines.

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Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript and aims to encapsulate the key points, discussions, and humorous exchanges of the episode. For the full experience, listening to the original podcast is recommended.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

Hablas espanol.

[Andrew Santino]

If you've heard that sound from Babbel.

[Dax Flame]

Before, I bet you do. Babbel is the science backed language learning.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Dax Flame]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Dax Flame]

Speaking a new language in just a few weeks. With over 16 million subscriptions sold and a 20 day money back guarantee. Just start speaking another language with Babbel right now. Up to 55% off your Babbel subscription. @babbel.com Spotify podcast spelled B a B-B-E-L.com.

[Andrew Santino]

Spotify podcast rules and restrictions may apply. This podcast is powered by Huell.

[Bobby Lee]

H U E L. New customers can use code bad friends for 15 off plus a free gift.

[Andrew Santino]

You two are bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Who are these two idiots?

[Andrew Santino]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Where's M. He's not here.

[Andrew Santino]

Where's McConnell anyway?

[Bobby Lee]

Look at you. Dumbfounded.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, dumbfounded.

[Bobby Lee]

Andrea Jin.

[Andrew Santino]

Andrea Jy.

[Bobby Lee]

And none only.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Then our lovable beloved Jean Hong.

[Andrew Santino]

Jean Hong. Wow. Wow. And look at. We did Korean hangbok.

[Bobby Lee]

It's called Hang book.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the clothing. And we were a hit at the resident renaissance fair.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys were a big hit.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, they were like. People would bow to us.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I made everyone do accents.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Our boat crash and we don't know where we are.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, what is this family story? As we look at this photo, can you describe to me the family history and the story?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, okay, so my daughter, she's blind. Oh, yeah. She's blind and deaf.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And she has no idea what's going on. Right. The other one is.

[Bobby Lee]

You look wealthy, by the way.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we're very wealthy. Yeah. So then dumbfounded plays a man who has many murders.

[Bobby Lee]

And he looks that way. He looks tired from all the murders.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He murdered so many people. Japanese, Chinese and Koreans.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

But mostly North Koreans. Wow. And I keep going, don't go to the North.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't go.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And he will.

[Andrew Santino]

And Gene is my. Well, they think he's my assistant, but there's some. You know what I mean, Other privileges I get.

[Bobby Lee]

You get to have sex with him.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not what I said.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, that's what you said.

[Andrew Santino]

In ancient Korean tradition, we don't talk about stuff like that. But yeah, sex.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So I got you a new wand. Here's a new one. Here you go, dude. It's A new Elven wand that they have.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, look.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at this. It's a butt plug.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. You stick your butthole right in there. Yeah, dude, come here. Carlos. You have a standard. Just a wand still does magic. Yeah, but barely. It makes dicks get hard.

[Bobby Lee]

Are these handmade?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Wow. Yeah, by Incel. In the Midwest. Anyway. Here you go. I get a one. You get a one this time. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I get a one.

[Andrew Santino]

You get a one this time. You get a Spanish one.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. I actually like that a lot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That one's very pretty.

[Andrew Santino]

Here's a Spanish one. And then. All right. And this one will be mine. And I'm going to say something to you. I have a wand and. Okay. So you. Let's play a little dark magic. I learned about dark magic.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And today, ladies and gentlemen, when you're listening. All right. Today's dark magic is about revenge. Today's dark magic is about betrayal. And we have to use our wands to destroy these evil people. Look at me right there, doing a seance.

[Bobby Lee]

Does that hat fit?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that. I don't know if it's supposed to look.

[Andrew Santino]

It's supposed to look like that.

[Bobby Lee]

It is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. And it was so uncomfortable. You have to constantly balance it.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I see the girl who's seancing you?

[Andrew Santino]

There she is.

[Bobby Lee]

That's my Aunt Barb.

[Andrew Santino]

Barb was great.

[Bobby Lee]

She is.

[Andrew Santino]

I had no idea what she was talking about. It was great.

[Bobby Lee]

Now, do they speak in tongues and languages? And what. How do they do this?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, that. Italian.

[Bobby Lee]

It's kind of.

[Andrew Santino]

It's kind of Italian. Yeah, yeah. So here's the dark.

[Bobby Lee]

So, wait, here's the funniest thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Go back to that photo to the right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And apologize for fans at home. I've lost my. Lost my voice a little bit. Go. Go out. Go to the other photo to the far right. Yeah. Now zoom in. The best part is you guys are dolled up.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Head to almost toe. Now zoom down to the feet. It just sneakers.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's just like, the outfits are amazing. And then he's wearing Hoka running shoes.

[Andrew Santino]

Because we went to the store, there were clogs.

[Bobby Lee]

And there's no way you're not rocking clogs all day.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. We're not gonna go rock clocks. Yeah, yeah. So I'm gonna do my golden goose. They had golden gooses back then.

[Bobby Lee]

Did they really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So here. Back to the dark magic. Okay, So I don't know if you all know that I did a short Film called Death and Ramen. Right. No. Yay for that short film. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

It was good.

[Andrew Santino]

So I'll tell you something. I'm at. So I'm at the Renaissance Fair, right? Andrea. Jen goes because she's dating a writer.

[Bobby Lee]

O.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. So then, you know, he was offered something or a production company out asked him for like a production coordinator for something. He goes, for what? He goes, death and Robin, the movie. So I got all excited. I'm like, I called my agents and I go, hey, Oy.

[Bobby Lee]

Hi, Bobby, how are you?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, hi. Jubie Leibowitz.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Great to talk to you today. You're the best agent.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm number one.

[Andrew Santino]

Doobie Leibowitz.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Hold my call. Shereen. I'm on the phone with my number.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so I'm not. Okay, So I. Juby, did I get the movie?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. You got a movie?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, Got a movie. Death and Ramen.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So they.

[Bobby Lee]

You got Life and Fettuccine.

[Andrew Santino]

He got Life.

[Bobby Lee]

We booked you Life and Fetuccini. You're going to love it.

[Andrew Santino]

But that's not the short idea.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not short at all. It's a seven hour movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I heard they got Death and Ra got Sebastian Manoscalco. So I get the Life in Feduccini.

[Bobby Lee]

You got Life in Fetuccini.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And he got. He got Death and Ramen. Can we switch?

[Bobby Lee]

Unfortunately not. Unfortunately not.

[Andrew Santino]

He's better for Death and Ramen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He. It. He wasn't the guy that was cast.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, booking me in Life and fed a ch.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. So I called my agent. He goes, no, they recast you.

[Bobby Lee]

No way.

[Andrew Santino]

And I go, why? And what do they say when you don't get something? We win A different direction.

[Bobby Lee]

I hate that. It bothers me so much.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What does that even mean?

[Andrew Santino]

It means.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it means they hate you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, so who got the role?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. But okay, I didn't even get a call. And then when we. My agents called them, they said, yeah, we're going in a different direction.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. And so, you know, it ruined my renaissance, of course. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Go back to the terror reading, telling that photo.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. In that photo. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Just look at that photo. Tell me this isn't right after you got the phone call.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And look at that face. My question to her was, who got cast in. No. Did I really not get Death and Ramen?

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

And every car was a Death card. Right, Right. And some guy being hung or slain you know, I mean, so everybody. I normally don't do this, but I think it's war.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it is. I think it is.

[Andrew Santino]

And I would do the same for you.

[Bobby Lee]

And I got to tell you, you do normally do this.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

This is par for the course. You do do this.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but not war.

[Bobby Lee]

You. You. Look, you don't only fight when. When somebody tries to fight you.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Wait, anyway. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Zoom into that photo in the background.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

And just. In the. No, no, the people.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the people over there on the side. Are you making fun of my brethren and my sisterhood?

[Bobby Lee]

Your breaths. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, there's.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta tell you, dude, I'm fascinated with this world. The fact that they get to escape like this. We don't get to do. I don't get to do.

[Andrew Santino]

This Saturday, Lisa Gilroy went.

[Bobby Lee]

I saw that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Why don't you go?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not interested in being.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but we. No, no, you.

[Bobby Lee]

I would go with you, but, I.

[Andrew Santino]

Mean, you would laugh so hard.

[Bobby Lee]

I would go with you, but where do you get the outfits? Do I have to buy it?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I spent a couple grand on those.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I don't want to do that. That's. That's.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but that's life. I'm going to use it again.

[Bobby Lee]

When.

[Andrew Santino]

What? When I develop my time machine and I actually go to, you know, 16th century.

[Bobby Lee]

Where do they buy these clothes? They.

[Andrew Santino]

We went to Koreatown and we went to a Hong Book place.

[Bobby Lee]

What's Hang Book?

[Andrew Santino]

Hangbok.

[Bobby Lee]

Hangbok.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the type of clothing. And then I rented all those.

[Bobby Lee]

The irony is you're not all Korean.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. We have one.

[Bobby Lee]

Andrea is Chinese.

[Andrew Santino]

She's Chinese. I know. And she asked, can I wear a Chinese one? We said, no.

[Bobby Lee]

How dare you?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. You're with. You're doing Korean.

[Bobby Lee]

Dare you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but look at dumb.

[Bobby Lee]

He looks dumb.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he does look dumb. And also, I love dumbfounded. Let's talk about dumbfounded for a second. Sure. If I may. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys are all wearing mics. You film us?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, we're wearing mics.

[Bobby Lee]

What, did you shoot this for Patreon or something?

[Andrew Santino]

No, just for pleasure. For experiences.

[Bobby Lee]

Love it.

[Andrew Santino]

So dumb. We're going through every Asian girl that's there he had sex with.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. You mean that wench over there?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I used to. That wench?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

See that woman stewing over a double. Double toil. In trouble over there?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Making a. Making a bubbly stew.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Pumped her.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. The food's not great.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Zoom in in the background again.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. What are you gonna say? Dude?

[Bobby Lee]

I'll say this.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we have.

[Bobby Lee]

This is proof.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

This is proof.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That everyone is gonna find someone that has their weird fun interest. This is proof. Look at all these people. By the way, that guy with the cool hat and the glasses on the hat.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's. That's his chick, dude. That's his maiden or his. Whatever they call him.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They all got a chick.

[Andrew Santino]

And yet I'm alone.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what's sad about.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what bothers me.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I see the hottest chicks, but.

[Bobby Lee]

You should have just gone, walked around you and dumb if you wanted to get a chick, because then you brought a lot. Look at Gene. Look at Gene's face.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, where are we?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I want to go home. I want to write again.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Bringing me back to my computer.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not a happy face.

[Bobby Lee]

Such a computer boy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He looks like a computer.

[Andrew Santino]

That face is like he caught his wife cheating.

[Bobby Lee]

Again.

[Andrew Santino]

Again.

[Bobby Lee]

Why again?

[Andrew Santino]

Look at my face, though. What am I doing?

[Bobby Lee]

You're going, yeah, her.

[Andrew Santino]

No. What's that face?

[Bobby Lee]

Why the didn't they cast me in Death and Ramen?

[Andrew Santino]

That's what it is. You're thinking that's the face, right? So what is that spells we can put on Death and Ramen? Oh, yeah, yeah. We'll have to do that for sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Is it like my wicked revenge spell? It's a formidable spell, powerful and long lasting.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you want to do one now?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but it's 29.95. Oh, I don't know. Give me a cheaper spell.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Give me a cheaper one. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want a $30 spell.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Rival be gone.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it. That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

Rival be gone.

[Andrew Santino]

Please be cheaper.

[Bobby Lee]

How much?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, 30.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus Christ.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll give you the 30. Okay. Can we do it? Yeah, I'll. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I can feel like $30. Where did they get off charging this?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I got. I got $30.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you imagine if they asked for a tip?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. It was like, give him 50. Give him 50.

[Bobby Lee]

$30.

[Andrew Santino]

Work on the spell. We'll talk about other things, but work on the spell. But you know, we're going to need things.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't know his birthday?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Why did you Google my birthday? Because I thought it was in October, but it's in September.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, you seriously don't know his birthday and he knows your birthday? It's on my Google Calendar. So I don't ever forget. We're putting a spell on you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

You're getting spellbound. No, you're going to get spellbound. Let me see. What spell could we cast on him?

[Andrew Santino]

Who? Who are we doing, Carlos?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. Spell would be negative. But like everything I think of.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll do one. Dimitri. Martin. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Sick him on him.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa, whoa. I can feel Dimitri in me. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How about this?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's not. What. Ooh's not one.

[Bobby Lee]

Hold on, I'm conjuring it.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a word.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's not a word. That's not it. You ever seen Harry Potter? Carlos Magico or whatever? You gotta do something like that. Yes, that's it. That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

You will forever be bound.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And your studio apartment. And never get.

[Andrew Santino]

Never get laid again. Your dog's gonna get sick. Aids eventually.

[Bobby Lee]

Dog. AIDS dog.

[Andrew Santino]

Aids eventually. Dude, I feel fucked up. Don't do this anymore. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, your hair's gone.

[Andrew Santino]

I did that.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a part of my cat. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Why you lose your voice?

[Bobby Lee]

I was singing last night.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, when you sing, you get this way.

[Bobby Lee]

When I was singing and yelling, I do lose my voice. It was such a loud. It was such a loud.

[Dax Flame]

Who do you sing with?

[Bobby Lee]

Michael Pena.

[Andrew Santino]

We. Pena was there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You went karaoke with Pena?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

And we sung a song that I absolutely hate. And we knew. There I am. There's. There's my boy.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's that?

[Bobby Lee]

Travis Kelce.

[Andrew Santino]

Never heard of him.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I sang with Pena and Pena was like, what do we want to sing? I said, it's got to be something that everyone knows that people like. And so then we're sifting through cool songs. At first we get. We're pitching around.

[Andrew Santino]

I bet you he knows La La Bamboo.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what we sung.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, exactly. Because when he goes, it's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

No, shut up. Who cares? We sung La Cucaracha.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that what it is?

[Bobby Lee]

Doing the same tune?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. How do you sing.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up. We do it the right way.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They're all the same.

[Andrew Santino]

My favorite Richard Valens is Donna. Yeah. And then he died.

[Bobby Lee]

He did.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. On that plane.

[Bobby Lee]

We sung. We sung that song again. Pour me up another double shot of whiskey. Everybody had the bargain and it was a hit. People. People liked it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. There's no Bronco. Let me try to finish. Start one of those songs. Let me try to finish it here.

[Bobby Lee]

Me and Jack Daniel.

[Andrew Santino]

History Books.

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty good.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me another shot. That was smooth.

[Bobby Lee]

I had to read.

[Andrew Santino]

Makeup. Makeup. One.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, another song.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Hanging around downtown by myself and Easter.

[Andrew Santino]

Island with the statues and the gifts are with my mind.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. That's actually better.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty good.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you name the song I sung?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Hanging downtown by Myself.

[Bobby Lee]

What's the song called?

[Andrew Santino]

That's not what it's called.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you not know what it is? Do you know Sex and Camp? Yes. Marc Playground.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

One of my favorites.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, let me sing a song. I don't know any lyrics. That's the only problem. Do I know any lyrics here? Hey, Jude, don't be afraid.

[Bobby Lee]

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.

[Andrew Santino]

It was Clinton.

[Bobby Lee]

The Clintons, they are at fault. They did it all.

[Andrew Santino]

So now of the children.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I put the order in. We got the confirmation.

[Bobby Lee]

Rival, be gone spell. By the way, I love that you put out a spell. It costs $30 and you get an order number. But what the does that.

[Andrew Santino]

How do we get it now? We are waiting on a rush delivery email confirming that Andrea casted the spell.

[Bobby Lee]

The guy who runs this is just wiping off the pizza from his finger. He's like, oh, you got one.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait.

[Bobby Lee]

So hold on one second. Oh, my God, we got one.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's what it is. Yeah. Idiot.

[Bobby Lee]

Just some guy in a garage.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you write $30? We were going to charge 10.

[Bobby Lee]

You're right, man. Idiots will do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

So the. So we put in his birth date. We put in the other person's name. Death and Ramen.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And the name is. The cast speller is Andrea.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Andrea. We're cursing the show, the movie, by the way. Yeah, by the way. You know what? Bad. I feel bad, though. No, you're giving them a lot of.

[Bobby Lee]

A lot of press.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, all right.

[Bobby Lee]

Should Enrique Caster spell twice on your behalf to increase the chances of success?

[Andrew Santino]

I press once.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you'd have to pay twice.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It would have been like Hendrika.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. $7 or something.

[Bobby Lee]

You drive a hard bargain, Andrea. I would love to know who this person is and what they look like. Oh, hi, Carlos. Thank you for your order from Andrea, one of the founding members of the California Astrology association, caa. I was with that agency for a while. We are writing to let you know what you can expect next. Your order will be processed shortly. Rush quote, unquote. Orders are processed within one business day. All other orders within a few days. Please allow extra time for order Processing over holidays and weekends. Dude, they're acting like this fucking spell has to go through a corporate system.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, but this is how you know it's real.

[Dax Flame]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because imagine without it.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Thanks, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

25% discount. Do we not get the fucking discount? We're first time user.

[Andrew Santino]

But we got to know. Enrique seems to have split off from CA and is doing her own thing. But yeah, yeah, Enrique provides the same 365 day guarantee.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, sick. It's kind of like Celino and Barnes.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, let's do that. Do that one too.

[Bobby Lee]

No, we already, we already did hers.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Oh, I did her.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, guys, if you're looking to cast a spell on a friend, hit up Angelica and use promo code. Bad friends. For 15% off a spell cast a psychic consultant, spirit channeler.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, honestly, this is real. You know what's so fucked?

[Andrew Santino]

Don't you feel it's real?

[Bobby Lee]

I know it's real.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I, I.

[Bobby Lee]

In my heart I know it's real.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like a weird thing.

[Bobby Lee]

It is.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like finding gizmo in that china shop.

[Bobby Lee]

It's real.

[Andrew Santino]

It's real.

[Bobby Lee]

It's very real.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't think it is, of course, but it is. Well, you're gonna go dead. I'm gonna get like a, A lamp, Right. Or I'm gonna get like an antique, you know, jewelry box. Right. But then there's a little mogwai there and all those. Yeah. And those little rules. Yeah. I don't know what to remember as like, don't. What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, water.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't jerk it off.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no. That was.

[Andrew Santino]

What was it? I thought that was one of the worlds. Don't feed him after. Oh, yeah, feed. Oh, those are my rules.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When you find me, don't jerk it off. Don't jerk it off. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, go up. Three rules caring for a Maguire in the movie are don't expose them to bright lights, never get them wet, and never feed them after midnight. I remember the water one. I remember that. You can't get them.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, never get them wet.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't need. They're self cleaning.

[Andrew Santino]

They multiply.

[Bobby Lee]

They multiply. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But isn't like their own saliva wet something? That's how they clean themselves. Have to be like cats.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They don't ever wash. They, they sell. They're so.

[Andrew Santino]

They just smell?

[Bobby Lee]

No, their skin. Their skin continues to shed.

[Andrew Santino]

They shed, okay. I don't know an animal like that.

[Bobby Lee]

But what do you mean with fur bears?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but they scratch their backs against the magu.

[Bobby Lee]

Might scratch.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Maguire gremlins do not clean themselves. They're creatures with specific rules and weaknesses, and their cleanliness is not a factor. The core rules, to avoid getting them wet. So maybe they smell like.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what I think you see a.

[Bobby Lee]

Maguire, you're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, so cute, by the way. Kind of looks like a stinky, stinky little.

[Andrew Santino]

Also, grandmas look better to me. Yeah, yeah, they can dig it. Done.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they do.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, look. I mean, look at the difference.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, hey, steal those speakers from that car. Right? And they. They go to it. Right. Amago would be like, what?

[Bobby Lee]

Grab that guy's phone?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Up the tariffs, up the terrorists. Yeah. Gremlins would do it.

[Bobby Lee]

The gremlins would do it. Up the Terror 185 and the Mogwas 45. Mogwais wouldn't because they're.

[Andrew Santino]

They're so scared.

[Bobby Lee]

They're made in China.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bobby Lee]

We're trying to stop the mogwai.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So then feed them after midnight. Well, they must get, like, hunger pains at night.

[Bobby Lee]

It must be tough. Well, they're there. There's the gremlins eating popcorn.

[Andrew Santino]

They're so much cooler.

[Bobby Lee]

They are more rad, dude. They have more style. Their fashion's better, dude, would you rather.

[Andrew Santino]

Have a mogwai or a gremlin in a mosh pit?

[Bobby Lee]

Come on. It's not even.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not even a question.

[Bobby Lee]

Gremlin all day. Yeah, I think I saw that guy on the lift at. At. At Metallica.

[Andrew Santino]

Serious.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that guy. Yeah, that's Mark.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's Rick Ingram.

[Bobby Lee]

Shopify.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my Lord. Shopify. You know, we have an online business. We would not have one without Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

That's exact.

[Andrew Santino]

Nobody. Nobody does it better than Shopify. And it's the humble. It's the home of the number one checkout on the planet.

[Bobby Lee]

And the not so secret secret, with Shop Pay, it boosts conversions up to 50%. That's 50% when you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like Aloe or Allbirds or Skims. Bob loves skims.

[Andrew Santino]

I love skims.

[Bobby Lee]

You think about a good product, don't you, Bobby?

[Andrew Santino]

I do.

[Bobby Lee]

But. But beyond that, beyond the marketing and all that stuff, there is a business behind the business, and that is Shopify.

[Andrew Santino]

So if you're into growing your business, like, we all are your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere else in between.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that Skims uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/bad friends all lowercase.

[Andrew Santino]

Go to shopify.com/litercase bad friends to upgrade your selling today.

[Bobby Lee]

Shopify.com/bad friends rich hey yo. I'm telling you something.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm telling you something.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at how compact, sleek and cool and unique that this wallet is. A lot of people carry around the same big leather wallet. The George Costanza that you've seen. This ain't that. Okay. This is a Ridge wallet. You've heard about it. You've seen it. It's durable. You can hear how solid again is.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God. I can hear it so good.

[Bobby Lee]

You can hear how solid it is.

[Andrew Santino]

It's unique, slim, modern design that holds up to 12 cards plus cash plus.

[Bobby Lee]

Cash over 50 plus colors and styles to choose from. You should see on their website. It's pretty impressive how many colors they have. More than you expect. And everything you're looking for. Losing your wallet is the worst. But with Ridge airtag attachment, you'll always know exactly where it is. But you before that panic mode sets in.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I also like about it is does does it give you peace of mind knowing that all Ridge wallets have RFID blocking technology?

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Keeping you safe from digital pickpocketers.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like digital.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like that. I don't really like regular pickpocketers.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like those even more. Yeah, right now Ridge is having a huge Memorial Day sale. Get up to 40% [e-mail] bad just head to ridge.com bad to see their biggest sale of the year and after.

[Andrew Santino]

You purchase they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our and tell them our show sent you Tell them. This episode is brought to you by Enterprise Mobility. From fleet management to flexible truck rentals to technology Solutions, Enterprise Mobility helps businesses find the right mobility solutions so they can find new opportunities. Because if your business is on the road, they want to make sure it's on the road to success. Enterprise Mobility moving you moves the world. Find your road@enterprise mobility.com.

[Bobby Lee]

Now you're addicted to the Renaissance fair. Now you're going to go every weekend.

[Andrew Santino]

I really like it because I think that just makes me feel at home in a weird way.

[Bobby Lee]

You look so proper, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Unbelievable.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we were getting so many compliments because no one dresses like that.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean? Every photo, people dress up. You mean. But not traditional.

[Andrew Santino]

Traditional Korean garb.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

We probably could be the first.

[Bobby Lee]

I think Andrea is crossing a line here by being a Chinese woman in Korean garb, though.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to. Why don't you get a. Get a Korean girl also.

[Andrew Santino]

Morpheus glasses.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. What do you think?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you don't put Morpheus glasses in there.

[Bobby Lee]

Although. Although, you know, should wear glasses and cover up his eyes. Is Jean. I mean, look at those things.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Put some. Put something on those.

[Andrew Santino]

But she also acts like she's a star already. Do you see? Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

She's got that vibe.

[Andrew Santino]

Like those glasses. Like, I open for Bill Burr now. Right? Ronnie Chang. Look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

She does. She's killing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, she's killing it. Yeah. But she's very funny. Look at that nose, though. Oh, my God. Well, she's Eric Griffin's nose.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta be honest with you. Your nose doesn't look small in that photo either, bud. You both got Asian snoz.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, you can now tell how old I am just now. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

In this photo?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I think so.

[Bobby Lee]

You look younger in real life than you do in this. This photo is a weird photo.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I look tired.

[Bobby Lee]

A guy told me when he ran into me, a fan. He goes, oh, you're better looking than I thought you were going to be. Oh, yeah, that hurt my feelings.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You thought I was ugly because you see me on the Internet.

[Andrew Santino]

People go, you're taller than I imagined.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you think I was a dwarf? Like, what's going on here?

[Bobby Lee]

Did you think I was Brad Williams?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah. Let's go back to the Gremlins. Wow, What a great 80s movie.

[Bobby Lee]

So many good movies in the 80s. By the way, I rewatched in. In bed the other night at the hotel. Lethal Weapon. So good.

[Andrew Santino]

So good.

[Bobby Lee]

What? What is that? What's that face you're making?

[Dax Flame]

That's the movie that I have for you guys.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean? That's the movie you have for us?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm too old for this. Is that what he say?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Too old for this?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Danny Glover is a man. So I'm Danny Glover and he's Mel Gibson.

[Dax Flame]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, it's got to be.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I got to be Danny Glover.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't be.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, I can.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't have that kind of style.

[Andrew Santino]

You really want to make me Angry right now, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, let's go through the history of the actors that played them.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, right. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So these two.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Just the idea that he's. You know, I mean, a different color should be a sign, but you got.

[Bobby Lee]

To flip it on its head. Otherwise it's too on the nose. That's the whole point.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, look, when they did the remake with Pesh was so good in that movie. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Because at the Renaissance fair, we ran into a girl that has a kid. I'm friends with her, and I bought the kid a wand, but it's like, looks like a lightsaber. So the kid would go like that.

[Bobby Lee]

He was loving it.

[Andrew Santino]

And he hit me in the leg, and I went, ow, ow. And I fell to the ground. He laughed. So he did it for four hours straight. And then I had to constantly go, ow, ow, ow. You know what I mean? Until I want to disappoint the. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

So what? New love on that?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no. It's no love. It's a friend. But another thing is, is that you.

[Bobby Lee]

See the stress of it, of having a kid.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

It's a lot of that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Where you going? Where you go? Where are you going?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, but see, our parents never did that. They just let us disappear.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And figure I was kidnapped three times. Yeah. They didn't care.

[Bobby Lee]

Molested all three times.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. By Downs patrol, you're on fire today. Yeah. Keep that in. All right. That one's going to pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. You got to keep that in. That's so funny. But, yeah, it's a big responsibility. But I said in the car, I go, if there, because, you know, there's a lot of predictions that AI Is moving so fast, then the next three or four years, there might be, like, nuclear, you know, weapons being released.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I mean, hurry up, speed it up.

[Andrew Santino]

So I was saying is that having a child would be great, because if a nuclear bomb you knew was going to hit and you had your kid, you want to be strong for him and hold him and go, I got you, buddy. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But if I didn't have a kid, I'd be like, what the. What the. Is going. I would freak the out.

[Bobby Lee]

The real you comes out like, no, I'm both.

[Andrew Santino]

You are also, if a nuclear bomb was coming and you were alone, sipping coffee. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're gonna be cool, stoked if I. If it's like, map, map, map, national alert, A nuclear War has started. Just sipping my coffee and my little breakfast nook on. Good.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not gonna call anybody?

[Bobby Lee]

Who?

[Andrew Santino]

Your parents?

[Bobby Lee]

I just talked to him an hour ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Love you. You know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. For this.

[Bobby Lee]

Huh?

[Andrew Santino]

There's steps for this. When a nuclear.

[Bobby Lee]

Seek immediate shelter. I'm already inside. Go underground. Can't. No basement. Stay low. My chairs are low. I have a. I have one of these, like, little lounge chairs.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Cover your mouth and nose.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What is this? Covid?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, ventilation needs to go off. Shut off the ventilation. I want to keep it cool inside.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, well, let me ask you this.

[Bobby Lee]

It's just. This is. You're dead. You know what's going to happen?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're going to fucking die eventually, too.

[Andrew Santino]

I'd rather die now.

[Bobby Lee]

Me, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Later.

[Bobby Lee]

Slow death sucks.

[Andrew Santino]

You. I mean, you're just walking on the street, plop, Your arms gone. You're like, what happened?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, like, imagine, though. Yeah. Body parts just start falling off because of radiation. Like, fuck that. Just kill me now. The big blast just shocked me.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, would you get nuclear radiation for Country? Meaning this?

[Bobby Lee]

No idea what you're talking about.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you will.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So it's one of my shows I always go to just to watch over and over again when I have nothing to do. What show is Chernobyl on, Max?

[Bobby Lee]

Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? And so, you know, they would go we. Because there was one scene where they had to get these water bulbs released, and they could only send three men down there, but the men were going to die.

[Bobby Lee]

They knew they were gonna die.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they knew they're gonna die. You'll. When you go down there, you'll be dead in a week. And three guys volunteered. I'll do it for country. Would you?

[Bobby Lee]

For country?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Fuck, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Because if you and I were sitting there, right? And if I stood up, you're saying.

[Bobby Lee]

If I go down. If we. You and I go down. If they go, bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, you must do this for country. And it would save the country.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. No, you wouldn't. You already showed your cards, dude. Well, this is what would happen. I'd stand up, right? He wouldn't stand up. I'd sit back down, right? I'd be, like, that fast.

[Bobby Lee]

And they go, Mr. Lee, did you. And you're like, no. No, I just.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So there was a lot of those kind of scenes.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I wouldn't do it for Country. That's crazy, because. Because it's guaranteed that I'll die. Right? But it's not guaranteed it'll Save the country.

[Andrew Santino]

It is.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a literal guarantee. Stamp. It will.

[Andrew Santino]

It does. Because in that particular scenario, Right. If the molten lava seeped into water tanks, it would cause an explosion. Right. That was going to make Ukraine, I think, half of Poland and some other country completely inhabitable for a hundred years. We wouldn't be having these problems now. What do you mean by that? That shit would reach Spain before us. Fucker. You would have died a long time ago.

[Bobby Lee]

It could definitely reach us first.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We're much closer to that than Spain.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, really?

[Bobby Lee]

Very.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Moscow.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it wasn't Moscow. I think Chernobyl is more close to Ukraine.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Than. Than Spain, for sure.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm saying to you is, is that it's gonna. It's gonna make 80 million people die immediately. So would you make that sacrifice for 80 million people?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, there's 360 million people in America.

[Andrew Santino]

Do we have to make a decision now? The commander standing there.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Commander, can I ask you a few questions? Sir?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Sir. Commander, sir.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. You made. You may.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so listen.

[Andrew Santino]

Hold on. I talked. I talked slow.

[Bobby Lee]

Where are you from, Commander?

[Andrew Santino]

Moscow.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

My name is Vladimir.

[Bobby Lee]

Great.

[Andrew Santino]

Gohan.

[Bobby Lee]

Vlad the Impaler.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

I love your work.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait. You may continue. My fellow townsman.

[Bobby Lee]

Downsman.

[Andrew Santino]

Doy doi doi doi, doi, doi.

[Bobby Lee]

So listen.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Just because I do this.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

What if in a few days something else happens and then. Then it's.

[Andrew Santino]

Then we'll send three more.

[Bobby Lee]

No. That's why I'm not doing it.

[Andrew Santino]

But our offer is this. We will give your family 40 rubles.

[Bobby Lee]

40.

[Andrew Santino]

50.

[Bobby Lee]

50.

[Andrew Santino]

100 rubles.

[Bobby Lee]

100 rubles?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Sounds like every time I repeat what you say, you go up.

[Andrew Santino]

Did I say a thousand?

[Bobby Lee]

A thousand rubles?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. All the rubles that your family can.

[Bobby Lee]

Eat, that we can eat?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. You must eat them because you're gonna have cancer.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How do we survive? Eat the money.

[Andrew Santino]

So you wouldn't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

No way.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, you just reminded me of that old Richard Kine told me this. An old Jewish joke. He said a Jewish kid asked his Jewish father for a hundred dollars. And the dad says, $60. What do you need $20 for?

[Andrew Santino]

That's a great job. That's a good job.

[Bobby Lee]

I would never do it for country. You're not doing it for country either, and you know that.

[Andrew Santino]

But. But. So some of these men had wives and children.

[Bobby Lee]

These are stronger men than we.

[Andrew Santino]

No. And I'll admit that if you have.

[Bobby Lee]

People go to the Military?

[Andrew Santino]

Your wife and your child?

[Bobby Lee]

We don't have any kids.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but in this scenario.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, but I don't.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

My f. How many kids? And what do I have Way in's kids? I got 10.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you have more raw kids. You have six, seven. What?

[Bobby Lee]

What? I wouldn't do it.

[Andrew Santino]

So your children will die.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't give a. I'll be dead, too. We'll all be dead in heaven together.

[Andrew Santino]

But if you go in, they will not die.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but then they. I won't be with them. I'll be with them in the afterlife. Ah, thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you like their position in the government? Oh, I like your thinking.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

How many rubles is that?

[Andrew Santino]

20,000 rubles.

[Bobby Lee]

20,000 rubles, that's right.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know what. I don't know where that went. What's that old Russian saying?

[Bobby Lee]

If you hit me in Russia, if.

[Andrew Santino]

You hit me with a feather, I'll hit you back with a tank.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus Christ.

[Andrew Santino]

That's fucking brutal. It's just. I was just playing with my chicken. I'm sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Live a century, learn a century.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, these are right.

[Bobby Lee]

Without effort.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't even do it in a Russian accent, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Without effort, you can't even pull a fish out of the pond. Don't have hundred rubles, but have hundred friends. By the way, that's government fucking propaganda.

[Andrew Santino]

Look.

[Bobby Lee]

So you are poor, you eat your toenails for breakfast. Big fucking deal. Your friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at. It's all about friends. Measure, measure seven times, cut once.

[Andrew Santino]

What does that mean?

[Bobby Lee]

It's saying if you're making something, like, if it's diligent. That's like. That's Japanese, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

The eyes are afraid. The hands do.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I like wolf analogies. Here. Give me the wolf one.

[Bobby Lee]

Work is not a wolf. It won't run away into the forest.

[Andrew Santino]

No, brother, I wish. I wish my waiting job ran to the forest.

[Bobby Lee]

This is all government propaganda.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

That. You know, Yakov Smirnoff was telling me about that. That. How accustomed you get to hearing. When he was a kid.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

On the speaker systems.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Just constant propaganda.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I said what was, like, the main theme of the Soviet Union, like, as a kid, like, what were they trying to do to say to kids versus adults.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And he was like, they constantly put it in children's heads that Americans specifically.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Were the worst version of humanity alive.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Awful people.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Bad, bad, evil people.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And they paint this Picture over and over and over and you inherently. Will you just 100 believe it?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was like, how did you have the wherewithal to. Not in that? He's like. It just. I guess something just didn't make sense about it.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

But I was like, that's. How is that. How do you have that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You know what's also funny about him is, is that when I saw him at the Comedy Store.

[Bobby Lee]

I fucking love Yakov.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. The only thing that I remember from his act from years ago was, what a country, what a country. So I rewatched his Rodney Dangerfield.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got great jokes.

[Bobby Lee]

He still does. Yeah, he still does.

[Andrew Santino]

Good joke, right?

[Bobby Lee]

He's a great joke writer.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, when I got off my plane today.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The pilot, you know, I'm seeing. The pilots are saying goodbye.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you say?

[Bobby Lee]

The pilot goes, one kakatai. I'm not kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

What does that even mean?

[Bobby Lee]

It was something I said on this show years ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You said something about cactus. You were like. You're like. It was only one cacti. And I was like, one cacti.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Of all the Bobby moms that I get.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, that one.

[Bobby Lee]

I was. I literally go, yes, dude. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

One cacti, one katai. You know, dude, one A One.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't do that. Don't. One kakai. But the pilot goes, one kakai. By the way. This is going to haunt me.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you laugh?

[Bobby Lee]

I crack. I thought. I go, right on, dude, one K. That one's because the Bobby mom doesn't get me anymore.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You know, I'm so glad you got sick on that plane.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it's sick. I lost my voice last night.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no. When you passed out with. Oh, and Machine Gun Kelly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I saw Machine Gun Friday.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you go to his house?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I went to his. He just showed up at the store.

[Bobby Lee]

He invited us to a party.

[Andrew Santino]

He did?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he hugged me as if we were like Vietnam vets.

[Bobby Lee]

He's the best one of the night.

[Andrew Santino]

In my mind, I'm always like, I'm so glad Andrew almost died just for that relationship to, you know, me and Florida. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

It was incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it was.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Of all the Bobby Moms I get, I got him. I was in Vegas this weekend. It's a million Bobby Moms everywhere.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

The dealer.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the dealer said Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

He goes, hey, Bobby Mom. They call me Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't. I think some don't know my. Some guy said, Anthony Santini. And I was like, yeah, yeah, just call me Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Yakov called you Santana.

[Bobby Lee]

Santana, yeah, Santana.

[Andrew Santino]

He didn't say your first name. He goes, well, Santana told me, you know, I mean. And I'm like, that's not his.

[Bobby Lee]

I am good at guitar.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, so people are saying that Vegas is kind of dead. Is it true or no?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, it's interesting. I talked to this as we were going to the airport in the Uber. I was asking the guy, like, how long have you. I. I'm always curious about the Uber drivers in Vegas. I'm like, how long have you lived here? Where are you from? Because they're. Most of them are foreign. Some. This guy lived there for like 30 years. And I said all. How much of the strip is like. Because I don't remember it really. Like, I just go to my hotel, do my show or gig, and then go home. And he was. They're knocking down the Mirage. They're putting up the Hard Rock. They're putting a big guitar up there.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

I read this thing the other day, literally the other day, that Excalibur and those other ones are not. No more valet, no more like room service. And yeah, so like the ones that are thriving are thriving, but the ones that are diving are diving bad. Like it's. It's. The dispersion's insane tourism are so old too. Well, they're. Yeah, right. Excal. Like. Like we said, Excalibur. There's one to the south Strip are sold and they're dilapidated.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You know, talk about, talk about.

[Bobby Lee]

Speaking of dilapidated. It hits the mic, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

What's up, buddy?

[Andrew Santino]

Konichiwa. Konnichiwa.

[Dax Flame]

Konichiwa. Arigate gozaimas for sending me to Japan.

[Bobby Lee]

Ladies and gentlemen, Dax Flame is back. Back from Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

Dax, you need headphones or you don't use them?

[Bobby Lee]

He never likes them.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, I don't like.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

How was our little.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's talk.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Take your clothes off.

[Andrew Santino]

So.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, I've never not seen you with four layers on. Doesn't matter what temperature it is outside. Guy wears two undershirts.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

A pullover, a quarter zip, a jacket.

[Andrew Santino]

How is the flight going there?

[Dax Flame]

Good. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean? What does that.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

It was nice and easy.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tokyo to lax. Yeah, the lax. The Tokyo one. I watched two Lord of the Rings movies. I'd never seen any of those.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because I've seen a bunch of times. What'd you think? Of them.

[Dax Flame]

They were awesome. Yeah. Yeah. And then I watched.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't see Return of the King.

[Dax Flame]

On the way back? I watched.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you did?

[Dax Flame]

And I had actually seen that one when I was a kid, but yeah. Out of order. So I don't think I didn't remember it at all.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How'd you see it out of order? You mean on tv?

[Dax Flame]

I had just. My uncle invited me to go see it and I had not seen the first two and I just watched that whenever it came out. So I would have been like 12 or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Did something happen with your uncle?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

No. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Anything?

[Dax Flame]

No. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Did he go like, let's go swimming.

[Bobby Lee]

Did your uncle take you on vacations?

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

I didn't spend much time with him. He. I don't remember him ever swimming. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

It's delicious.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Dax Flame]

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[Dax Flame]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Dax Flame]

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[Andrew Santino]

Well, that's. I'm an investigative journalist, so.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you sleep on the flight?

[Dax Flame]

I don't think, or. Actually, I think I just slept, like, an hour or two. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I'm so happy that we got you to Japan and you shared a video and. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Is there any way. It's 11 hours a long flight. Is there any way we can continue to do this as the year goes on? Just start sending you more places?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, I'll do it anytime you all want.

[Andrew Santino]

Really get fun then.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Where would you like to go next?

[Andrew Santino]

We think Africa.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Can we send you to Yemen?

[Bobby Lee]

Libya? Do you want to go to Libya?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

What is it like?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's beautiful.

[Bobby Lee]

It's Northern Africa. What's that country? Wait, hold on. What's that one? You want to go there? What is that, Dax?

[Dax Flame]

That's the country in Africa.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it called? I don't know how to pronounce it.

[Bobby Lee]

Can't read that.

[Dax Flame]

I don't know how to pronounce it, actually.

[Andrew Santino]

Give it a word.

[Bobby Lee]

Try.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, try.

[Bobby Lee]

Spell it out.

[Dax Flame]

N, I, G, E, R. Whoa, Whoa. That's the name of the country.

[Bobby Lee]

It's almost. It almost sounds worse when you spell it.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

You might have just said it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What about. Would you go to Chad? That sounds like a white guy plays like.

[Bobby Lee]

What's that? What's up, dude? I'm in Africa, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Next time go to Steve, too.

[Bobby Lee]

Mark is just north of us, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How about Burkina Faso? That's.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at. Oh, Mike, look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you been to Africa?

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Would you go there?

[Dax Flame]

Like, to that specific spot?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

With those ladies? Yeah. Those are my cousins.

[Bobby Lee]

How about this?

[Andrew Santino]

What about that?

[Bobby Lee]

I. I have it. I know where I want him to go.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so excited because I've been watching a lot of videos about this on the Internet.

[Andrew Santino]

Tell me, tell me.

[Bobby Lee]

India.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, India.

[Dax Flame]

I've actually been there.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Pakistan.

[Dax Flame]

I've never been there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, he would have fun in his.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not about having fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Nowhere. I'm kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

Like a gulag or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

El Salvador.

[Bobby Lee]

No, El Salvador is awesome.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but the gulag that they're sending. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

What's a gulag?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you know what? You don't play war zone.

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Dax Flame]

I've heard the word.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a harsh prison.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So here's what we need. Carlos, give me. Put up a picture of the United. I'm sorry. Of the. Of the world. Of the flat earth.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I'm gonna just throw. I'm going to throw something at the tv, and wherever it hits, I'm going to close my eyes.

[Andrew Santino]

But even if you hit the middle of the Pacific Ocean, we're dropping them off there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. We have to.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me something like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Swim, Dax.

[Dax Flame]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

His uncle cannot. Is what something we learned?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me something light. That's not going to hurt the tv. You look good, bud.

[Dax Flame]

Thank you. Thanks.

[Bobby Lee]

Lighters. Hold on.

[Andrew Santino]

Uncle P's.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. All right, here we go. Let's toss it sideways. All right. Ready?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

O. Zoom into that. Zoom in. Bottom right corner. No, I got it. Bottom right corner. Up, up. I know exactly where I hit. Up, up on the map. Up more. Right there. What is that? What's that town with that little outlet that kicks out there?

[Andrew Santino]

That right there.

[Bobby Lee]

What is that?

[Andrew Santino]

That's. Is that. Zoom in, zoom in.

[Bobby Lee]

What's that called?

[Andrew Santino]

Jesus Maria.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus Maria.

[Andrew Santino]

Jesus Maria. That's where you're going.

[Bobby Lee]

You're going to Jesus Maria.

[Dax Flame]

I'd go there.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's bring up a picture. Just click on one of those little icons and you'll see what the street view is. Yeah, yeah. There. Check it out.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Jesus Maria.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

That actually looks awesome.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the best pizza.

[Bobby Lee]

But here's the deal. You have to go to that pizzeria. Creperie.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to go to this creperia. Pizzeria.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

That'll be you eating albino hamburger. So good.

[Andrew Santino]

It does.

[Bobby Lee]

That looks so good. It's like a cheese wrapped burger.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Huh?

[Dax Flame]

This is Spain.

[Bobby Lee]

I know it's in Spain, asshole. You think Jesus Maria is anywhere other than Spain? All right, you're going here.

[Andrew Santino]

You're going there.

[Bobby Lee]

When can we send you to Spain?

[Dax Flame]

May.

[Bobby Lee]

You may?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Let's talk about Japan.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

So what'd you do the first day there?

[Dax Flame]

I think just walked around. Yeah. Just walked around.

[Bobby Lee]

And do you have pictures in your phone you can share with Carlos and he can. Yeah, you could text him. You can bring him up on the screen there.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, let me ask you some personal questions. Were there women looking at you there? Did you get Any vibes?

[Bobby Lee]

Frame?

[Andrew Santino]

Piece of.

[Bobby Lee]

Piece of the text frame?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, I. I don't think, like, I noticed that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You are looking for it.

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you ever looking for love? Dax?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you in love right now?

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I ask you a personal question? We can cut it.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That girl you do videos with, that cute young lady, is she your girlfriend?

[Dax Flame]

No, she's my friend's girlfriend.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Oh, that's weird.

[Andrew Santino]

That's weird.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But do you masturbate to her?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Dax Flame]

No. No.

[Andrew Santino]

What? Can I ask that?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because Dax is our buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

You think I've masturbated his wife? Come on.

[Bobby Lee]

He has. I watch him. It's in my house. Very strange. Our Dex, send Carlos some photos that are in your phone. Just everything. Just dump everything. Even a couple of nudes that you have in there or whatever.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But here's the deal. As you search for those, we are going to continue to send Dax on a world tour.

[Andrew Santino]

We would love to, but here's what.

[Bobby Lee]

I actually want to enact in Spain in Jesus Maria.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Or should it be a two closer, bigger city? I want him. You got to do a meetup, Zach. Dax.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

What's your name?

[Dax Flame]

Dax, is it? Oh, my real first name.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. No. That's not your real name.

[Dax Flame]

No. Theodore.

[Bobby Lee]

Theodore, yeah. Teddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Teddy.

[Bobby Lee]

My favorite president.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We got. I want to do a fan meetup. Can we do that?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That'd be rad.

[Dax Flame]

That'd be cool.

[Bobby Lee]

International.

[Andrew Santino]

Do we have Fanzer?

[Bobby Lee]

Huh?

[Andrew Santino]

In Spain?

[Bobby Lee]

He does.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. Do you have a lot of fans in Spain?

[Dax Flame]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

I would assume you have fans all over the world.

[Dax Flame]

Maybe so. I don't think any Japanese people knew who I was really, but. But a couple tourists said hi to me.

[Bobby Lee]

That's cool. Now, who says hi to you? Is it mostly men or women? I feel like women recognize you more.

[Dax Flame]

I think more guys know me, but I. Both, actually.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because, you know, on the Internet, you're kind of a heartthrob. Do you know this?

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

I know some girl that really love you.

[Bobby Lee]

There's women that comment all the time that he's a heartthrob.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you don't. I don't know if you know this or you're just playing coy, but you are. I've had many, many women come across my way that say, I think he's so sexy.

[Dax Flame]

Okay, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

What would you like to say to those women that say that?

[Dax Flame]

Thank you, and please give Andrew your number. And no to give to me. Yes, me and give it to him. Or give. Well, because they said it.

[Andrew Santino]

Why did white him, not me?

[Dax Flame]

Because they came up to Andrew and said it to him.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, okay. That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

His logic is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's very good logic.

[Dax Flame]

I. I also sent Carlos a video. Y' all saw. Did y' all see that?

[Bobby Lee]

We did.

[Dax Flame]

Cool. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Loved it. So tell me, day one in Japan. Take me through the day.

[Dax Flame]

Let's see. Day one. I got my flight. Got there in the daytime, so then I would have walked to my Airbnb and then just walked around.

[Andrew Santino]

Described your Airbnb.

[Dax Flame]

Like a room with a kitchen and a little hallway in the bathroom.

[Andrew Santino]

Small, though.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, pretty small. But in Shinjuku.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Shinjinku.

[Andrew Santino]

Or let's go. Let's go with these pictures. Let's go. The first picture.

[Dax Flame]

That one was just like. What's that picture? Because it's kind of funny. Well, not. I guess. Well, actually, maybe that's rude, but it was like horse sushi, so I just thought that was unusual.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, Andrew, there's horse sushi there.

[Bobby Lee]

We gotta go to Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

We can't get that here. The delicacy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, you. Do you take pictures like my dad?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, this is sideways and.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you try horse sushi?

[Dax Flame]

No. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you interested in other meats outside of what?

[Andrew Santino]

Outside of pork?

[Bobby Lee]

Pork and chicken and beef. The kind of. The standard. Run the trifecta.

[Dax Flame]

I've tried guinea pig, I think, and.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, stop. What?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Dax Flame]

Because I was. Well, I was in Peru where they eat it.

[Bobby Lee]

They eat guinea pig in Peru.

[Dax Flame]

I think that's what.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me ask you something. Were there other options?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What were the other options?

[Dax Flame]

I don't remember a lot of. A lot of stuff. But I would.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God, look at what a guinea pig looks like. Him. There. Lunch in Peru.

[Dax Flame]

But it wasn't. It didn't look like a guinea pig.

[Andrew Santino]

Would it look like a cat?

[Dax Flame]

No, just like. Like chicken, I guess.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I see.

[Bobby Lee]

Now that's. Now that's strange.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you eat. Honestly Be real, Dude, Would you eat that, Andrew?

[Bobby Lee]

Would I what?

[Andrew Santino]

Eat that.

[Bobby Lee]

That woman.

[Andrew Santino]

No, the pineapple that's on the.

[Bobby Lee]

I would eat. I would eat the. The old pineapple and the olives. Are those olives or beans?

[Andrew Santino]

I know what they are, but I would eat everything around. Dude, why don't fry a. One of those when they're smiling.

[Bobby Lee]

Guinea pig when it's laughing.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, he's literally laughing.

[Bobby Lee]

He told it a joke and then put it in the fryer.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So. Yeah. You didn't eat a horse. You pussed out there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And then you went to bed.

[Bobby Lee]

You went to bed.

[Dax Flame]

Yes. And then the next day, I think I just walked around a ton and.

[Andrew Santino]

Quick question. I'm so sorry. Sometimes when you're in la, a certain sound that wakes you up. Are there any unusual things that happen?

[Dax Flame]

Like.

[Andrew Santino]

Like some sort of. Like a bong or. Yeah. I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Do they wake everybody up at the same time?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, like bong. You know what I mean?

[Dax Flame]

No, I didn't hear anything like that, but I'm trying to think if there's any sound specific to, like, you wake up, right?

[Andrew Santino]

You're. Yeah, something like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Time to wake up. Time to wake up.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Nothing. Guy being stabbed by a sword, like.

[Dax Flame]

Okay, I didn't hear anything.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Dax Flame]

Like that. Good.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good. I'm glad they got rid of that because they used to do that all the time.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Flame]

The. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And this is a forest that was.

[Dax Flame]

Like, just in a park there.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's one of those suicide forests.

[Bobby Lee]

Was Jake Paul there?

[Dax Flame]

That was Logan Paul who did that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, sorry. Wrong Paul. Yeah, retake the joke. Was Logan Paul there?

[Dax Flame]

Does. Is he banned from there?

[Andrew Santino]

We don't know the politics of it.

[Bobby Lee]

He's been. He's banned from all forests.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, all forests.

[Bobby Lee]

He can't catch him in a wooded area at all. He can only live in the plains.

[Andrew Santino]

So what's different about this forest and a normal American forest?

[Bobby Lee]

For instance, what did you like about this?

[Dax Flame]

That was just in the middle of the city?

[Andrew Santino]

Um.

[Dax Flame]

And so it was just pretty.

[Andrew Santino]

Just a regular old forest.

[Bobby Lee]

It is beautiful.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know you were in cherry blossom season, right?

[Dax Flame]

I think that I kind of missed it just ended. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I went there during. It was beautiful.

[Dax Flame]

Okay, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

I do think it's early in the April, right?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Dax Flame]

I think they said it like it was like a week.

[Andrew Santino]

What is this?

[Dax Flame]

That was just a store with a bunch of stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

You like stuff?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Is it toys?

[Bobby Lee]

A lot of.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, little toys.

[Andrew Santino]

They look vintage almost.

[Dax Flame]

I think they were maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's cool, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

That is very cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, I went to that. That's at some, like, mall that has, like, just a billion stores. And then I went there specifically because Carlos had asked for something from Japan for, like. And I like, used underwear from a vending machine.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. You got him used underwear.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I appreciate that. And did you.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you get us anything?

[Dax Flame]

I Got y' all gifts.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait. Well, did you. Let's go back to the underwear. Did you smell it?

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at me. In my eyes, Theodore.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on, Teddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you smell it?

[Dax Flame]

No. I don't have a sense of smell anyways.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, then you didn't.

[Dax Flame]

So I haven't, like, opened it or anything.

[Andrew Santino]

You haven't. You weren't curious?

[Dax Flame]

I guess.

[Bobby Lee]

You have it with you?

[Dax Flame]

Yes. Yeah?

[Bobby Lee]

Let me see.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Will you smell it, Andrew?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you opened it since you brought it here?

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

I have my sense of smell.

[Andrew Santino]

I have mine, too. Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

But it was really hard to buy it because I was just by myself.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you can smell. They had whole air holes. So you can smell.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's all. The smell's gone now.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you can actually smell it.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I smell.

[Bobby Lee]

Aiko?

[Andrew Santino]

No. You know what? I thought you were going to say, this is Aiko. That's a kiko aiko. Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So they're used.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

This is what Carlos wanted. Imagine the guy that put these on.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a big fat dude. That puts us. They put these on sumo wrestlers.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you think, Dax?

[Dax Flame]

They look, like. Pretty.

[Bobby Lee]

They look pretty.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you smell the part?

[Bobby Lee]

You can. So weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Akiko.

[Bobby Lee]

Akiko, for sure.

[Dax Flame]

There was a man who came up to the machine and bought some right before me because I was, like, just standing there looking for a while because I just felt too nervous to walk up to it and do it. But I saw someone do it, and then I went and did it.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

So you got.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you. Plush.

[Bobby Lee]

Good hands.

[Dax Flame]

Oh, I went to a baseball game one day.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's right. We saw that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Flame]

And that was. Oh, yeah, that's the.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the machine.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Dax Flame]

How much is $503.50?

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Pretty good business.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's really good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And what does your dad do? He owns vending machines. Oh, like candy bars and stuff? No. Panties?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Use panties.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. That's kind of embarrassing. He makes $800,000 a year.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

And his grandma makes 5% of that.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, let's see.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't know the age, what that woman looks like. So anyway, yeah, let's move on.

[Bobby Lee]

No clue.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Dax Flame]

Drawings that you liked, that was at that same mall.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you buy any of those?

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Dax Flame]

I thought that looked like Squidward.

[Bobby Lee]

It does.

[Andrew Santino]

It does, but. It does. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So you're really soaking in the culture of Japan. You really kind of went far and beyond.

[Andrew Santino]

It Does.

[Bobby Lee]

But it does look Squidward, dude. It undeniably.

[Andrew Santino]

I know what we asked for, but.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, I mostly took videos there.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Did you send him video?

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, we saw this one, right?

[Andrew Santino]

We saw this one already. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Now, did you get lonely at night because you're far away from home?

[Dax Flame]

Not really. Because I fell asleep pretty early there because of, like, sleep schedule. And then mostly I just walk all day and then fall asleep quickly.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Dax Flame]

But one.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you ever go out at night and go nightlife in it?

[Dax Flame]

I didn't do nightlife stuff, but I did, like, walk around at night just to look around.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

But you go to a nightclub, get your moves on.

[Dax Flame]

No. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

What did you do? What did you do? The.

[Dax Flame]

The more, like, eventful things was. Yeah, I went to, like, a baseball game.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, lovely.

[Dax Flame]

And then I ran into a stranger who offered to buy me sushi, and he was super nice.

[Bobby Lee]

He was a fan.

[Andrew Santino]

Were you? Oh, he was a fan.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What did he look like?

[Dax Flame]

A Japanese guy named Shoes.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, she was. She was a Japanese guy that recognized you from the Internet. How did he come up? Are you docs of labor? What did he do?

[Dax Flame]

He said, dex. And then. And then, yeah, Just said, nice to meet you and stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

And look at this. I just want to get Dexa docs.

[Bobby Lee]

Frame, frame.

[Andrew Santino]

Nice to meet you.

[Bobby Lee]

Nice.

[Andrew Santino]

That's all he said. How'd you know that he was a.

[Dax Flame]

Fan, so big fan.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he said that?

[Bobby Lee]

He's just pointing at a fan.

[Dax Flame]

He likes you guys a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, he does. Show. We love you, dog.

[Andrew Santino]

Love your show.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, Good. Sushi.

[Dax Flame]

Yes. Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How much did he spend on you?

[Dax Flame]

I didn't ask, but he actually. I said, you don't have to buy it, and then he just offered to buy it still.

[Bobby Lee]

It's very nice.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Japanese people are the best, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone was super nice. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So you didn't go looking for other people your age or anything to go hang with, Scope out some friends maybe?

[Dax Flame]

No. No.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Dax Flame]

I met up with a Japanese pop group and filmed a video.

[Bobby Lee]

I saw that. Would you connect?

[Andrew Santino]

Are they a big pop group?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What are they called?

[Dax Flame]

5E.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

5E, the women pop group.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Zoom in. They're so beautiful. Dax.

[Dax Flame]

They're very beautiful. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

And so we made a video where we were going to make a pizza driver.

[Bobby Lee]

It was very fun, very funny.

[Andrew Santino]

Were they nice?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, they were very nice.

[Andrew Santino]

They speak English.

[Dax Flame]

Yes, but I don't think they understood everything I said. But, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Now do. Were you attracted to any of them?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, I think they're very pretty.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but it was there one that all of them.

[Andrew Santino]

You liked all of them?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, but I wasn't trying to.

[Andrew Santino]

But if you were. If you were in Chernobyl.

[Bobby Lee]

We're back in Chernobyl. Would you. Would you. Would you have sex with all these women? For country?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

For country.

[Andrew Santino]

For country.

[Bobby Lee]

Which one of these women would.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. For country.

[Bobby Lee]

For country or.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm a general. Right. My name is Vladimir. Right. True normal is on fire. Okay, for country, you must have sexual intercourse with one of these ladies. Which one would you.

[Bobby Lee]

For country, Remember?

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Dax Flame]

What does for country mean?

[Andrew Santino]

For Russia.

[Bobby Lee]

For mother.

[Andrew Santino]

For mother Russia.

[Bobby Lee]

We will die. Everyone.

[Andrew Santino]

Everyone will die. Oh, including Ukraine and Poland.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Yeah, yeah. And we love Paula.

[Andrew Santino]

We love all.

[Dax Flame]

Is anyone interested in who. Who's. Who would like to.

[Andrew Santino]

No. We are telling you.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

You pick countrymen. Yeah. We're generals. You must do it. For country.

[Bobby Lee]

For country. You pick.

[Dax Flame]

Can I point? And you cannot show it. I feel bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Well, you. How about this? We'll bleep out the color of dress that she's wearing.

[Dax Flame]

Oh, okay. And. And you can bleep that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we will.

[Bobby Lee]

We will.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting bloop when I say I do that one, too.

[Bobby Lee]

So girl with a girl in the. All right, stop it. We're gonna bank it. We'll blank it out. You know, we'll protect you. I gotta tell you, they're all gorgeous.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they're gorgeous.

[Bobby Lee]

They're gorgeous.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Gorgeous. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Now, my pick would be. Be honest.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'll pick.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you develop a little crush, perhaps? Do you communicate with them still?

[Dax Flame]

Well, not directly with them, but yeah, I. I definitely would have a crush on them. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

On one of. I'm saying we're not sharing with the crowd. Do you have a crush on one of them?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, do you? Dax, we have. We have her here. There she is. Come on out. Hey, there she is.

[Bobby Lee]

Good to see you again, Misha. Dax.

[Dax Flame]

Good to see you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So, Dax, what are you gonna do with this one? It's for country.

[Dax Flame]

Would you like to sing or dance?

[Andrew Santino]

Dax, look at me. Right, Dex. For country.

[Bobby Lee]

A country.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What would you like to do with her?

[Dax Flame]

That have sex for. To save the country.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Very good, Very good, Very good. But we are not going to use your penis. Wow. That's great. Anyway, five. You met with them.

[Bobby Lee]

Five. Ve. Five? Yeah, it's. I've. It's five. How would you say that?

[Dax Flame]

I. Well, they. I said five, and then they told.

[Bobby Lee]

Me five V. Oh, I see it now, Dax. I see.

[Andrew Santino]

I see it now. Yeah, yeah, I see it now for sure. Did you have any experiences that you didn't have in la, In Japan?

[Dax Flame]

Go. Maybe going to that baseball game. I sat in, like, the section where everyone's, like, chanting the chant.

[Bobby Lee]

You mean?

[Andrew Santino]

I've never been there.

[Bobby Lee]

In the stadium, you do the chat for me?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah. Like, let's go, let's go.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how they said that. Let's go, let's go.

[Dax Flame]

That was the only English part of the chant. And then they said. And then there was, like, stuff in Japanese.

[Andrew Santino]

What would that be?

[Dax Flame]

I don't. I don't. I didn't know exactly what they're saying.

[Andrew Santino]

Just pretend.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you think?

[Andrew Santino]

What do you think they were. What?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, they're saying hello to the baseball.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's go, let's go. Hello.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

That makes sense.

[Andrew Santino]

That makes sense.

[Bobby Lee]

What teams were playing?

[Dax Flame]

The Giants and the. I don't remember.

[Bobby Lee]

Tokyo Giants. Right.

[Dax Flame]

Or actually, I think it has a different name.

[Andrew Santino]

Tokyo Big People.

[Dax Flame]

Oh, actually, yeah. I guess the Tokyo.

[Bobby Lee]

Tokyo Giants. Isn't that who you saw?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Who are you rooting for?

[Dax Flame]

The Giants. There was. I went and got sushi, and I was at, like, a conveyor belt restaurant.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, those are fun. Those are fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Very nice.

[Dax Flame]

I was feeling kind of, like, nervous because I didn't know how to get the person's attention, and then the girl beside me noticed that, so then she, like, kind of helped me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

And then she started to talk to me through Google Translate.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, the future.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I've done that before. Did you talk back?

[Dax Flame]

Yes. And that. I kind of had a little crush on her.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Flame]

She. She said she was also traveling by herself.

[Andrew Santino]

From where?

[Dax Flame]

China.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Good. And so did you exchange information?

[Dax Flame]

No, I just left.

[Andrew Santino]

What? See this, bro?

[Bobby Lee]

You had a crush and you left.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, in the mood for love. It's. No, it's not that. Because that girl knew about the love. What my point is, is that this is what you have to do from now on. You have one life to live.

[Bobby Lee]

You got to take advice from this guy when it comes to dating.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm saying because you're. He's. You're dating a lot.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

What if I didn't. There wasn't a shot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I said he's been.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got a bat. Well, let's get to the gifts. Maybe.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait. Timeout. Let's go back.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You had a crush on this girl.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't continue any of the.

[Dax Flame]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Dax Flame]

I don't. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Scared? Your fear.

[Dax Flame]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

And your fear of rejection or.

[Dax Flame]

I. I didn't want to make her feel weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, she's gonna say no, right?

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, so you gotta take risks.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we. I really want to set you up on a date.

[Andrew Santino]

We tried that.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, he doesn't wanna. You don't wanna.

[Dax Flame]

I could. I could do it. I get. I get nervous, but.

[Bobby Lee]

Did we get any submissions to Carlos in the booth to date Dax from last time? Didn't we plug that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. There.

[Dax Flame]

We talked to them or watched a couple of.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I know, but didn't we. We didn't get any new ones.

[Andrew Santino]

We didn't get any more.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Well, then let's plug it now, guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Plug it now.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to fall in love with that Dax? Look in the camera.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And. And do your.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? Let's contact the spell lady. Oh, Andrea and Rico, let's go back to Andrika. We'll spend another $30. I'm telling you, being real. Spend another 30 for Dax.

[Bobby Lee]

Love spell.

[Andrew Santino]

We're doing a love spell.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's do a spell for you, bud.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Amaz. Which one would you like? Amazing. Amore spell. Andrea's blood. New moon. New.

[Andrew Santino]

I think blood. Whatever the blood is.

[Bobby Lee]

Forever Love. Retrieve your lover. Sunburst love spell. Which one of these jumps out to you?

[Dax Flame]

Irresistible Allure.

[Bobby Lee]

Where is that spell? Okay. Irresistible Allure Spell. So this remarkable spell highlights your very appealing characteristics, bringing them to the surface so others will see your true and undeniable beauty. Once the irresistible Allure spell is cast, you can feel more confident. Be happy in your skin. You like your skin, Dax?

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

You're going to like it more.

[Andrew Santino]

Why do you like your skin?

[Dax Flame]

Because I don't have acne.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the right question. Answer. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What's Your birth date?

[Dax Flame]

November 5th. What year? 1991.

[Bobby Lee]

A 90s.

[Andrew Santino]

Boy, grab your wand, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

What's the other person's name?

[Dax Flame]

I don't have a specific.

[Bobby Lee]

If known, you don't know, so just say yeah. Women.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Women of California.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Please cast it once.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's be more specific.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. Cast two hours later.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Cast it again.

[Andrew Santino]

Add to cart.

[Bobby Lee]

We gotta double it. Double down, dude. You know you gotta hit dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Just came back from Vegas, dude, you gotta hit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And how much is that spell?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. There's rush. Shipping and handling. It's. It's a spell. That's what I did for Bob.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, good.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, we're confirmed.

[Andrew Santino]

We're confirmed. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So. So Japan as a whole. Give it a rating.

[Dax Flame]

10 out of 10.

[Bobby Lee]

10 out of 10.

[Dax Flame]

Yes. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, can you do I love spell? Can you do. I'll pay extra. I swear to God. The money in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

You owe him like a hundred dollars.

[Andrew Santino]

It doesn't matter. Do another Love X for me. Oh, I love one for you. Yeah, but do it for real. I am. Get the same category that he has. All right, it was a small one. What else is there? I'm so sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so funny that you. I know. You really believe it now. I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I do believe it.

[Bobby Lee]

Because the way you just did that. You were very cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Let me read. Hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

He just went, well, no, sit in your seat.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't read. Do a forever love and cast it twice. Right. Three times. And Drika does it two hours later again. Oh, just do it twice then. Okay. Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So we both get one.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

So, you know, I'm going, by the way, I'm going to Italy in May. Maybe you should come with me to Italy. Meet my parents, hang out with me and my wife. Yeah, I'm hoping to be there when they elect a new Pope.

[Andrew Santino]

That'd be great. Would that be crazy? The Filipino one? I'm strong.

[Bobby Lee]

You want the Filipino?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I think. I think he's gonna get it.

[Bobby Lee]

But wouldn't it be crazy if I'm there when they're smoking out the pope?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, when they puff the shit out the thing. You would know, you. Spanish pieces.

[Andrew Santino]

Cardinal Peter Erdo Boo.

[Bobby Lee]

72 year old dude. They elect these guys just so they'll die in a year and a half.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. You know, I saw a funny meme there was so funny. Can I show you this meme?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. How are you feeling in general?

[Dax Flame]

Good.

[Bobby Lee]

Life is good.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah. Yeah. I've just been a little tired from trying to adjust my sleep, but now I feel like I'm pretty much back.

[Bobby Lee]

To normal from jet lag.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How long did you stay in Japan for?

[Dax Flame]

7 days.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa. So you didn't tell me what you did the last couple of days.

[Dax Flame]

I did the pop. I met up with the pop stars.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dax Flame]

And then I mostly just walked around more and I. And then I got you all a gift as well.

[Bobby Lee]

We got gifts.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, I can't.

[Bobby Lee]

We see.

[Andrew Santino]

We see.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, they're not like.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's the. It's what? The gift at. What counts.

[Dax Flame]

Well, I saw a tick tock.

[Andrew Santino]

What? It's a thought. I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no, it's. No, it's actually the gift that counts. I agree with that statement. It's the gift that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Flame]

I saw a clip where I. That. That. You like T shirts.

[Andrew Santino]

I do.

[Dax Flame]

So I got you some T shirts.

[Andrew Santino]

Medium.

[Dax Flame]

They're large.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, let me see. I like that. Give that to me. I could wear that.

[Andrew Santino]

You can wear this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Large.

[Dax Flame]

And then here. I don't. I couldn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Here.

[Dax Flame]

Find anything specific. If you don't like them, you could have this.

[Andrew Santino]

No, what is that?

[Dax Flame]

It's just. Well, it's just coins from Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he wants those.

[Bobby Lee]

Is this for me?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So where's mine? Wait, you got me two plain shirts for Japan? It has nothing on them. There's no symbol. There's no.

[Dax Flame]

They're from like a popular Japanese matter.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, do you know.

[Andrew Santino]

You got me.

[Bobby Lee]

You know where they're from?

[Andrew Santino]

Where?

[Bobby Lee]

Uniqlo. We have those here.

[Andrew Santino]

I know we have those here. That's what I was asking. If you did anything different than la.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, look up Uniqlo locations. I think there's one in the mall.

[Andrew Santino]

So you got me nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

Dax, thank you for. This is very nice shop Uniqlo in.

[Dax Flame]

The US I could get you something else from here.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you, Dax. This is very thoughtful, but.

[Dax Flame]

You're welcome. But I can get you something else.

[Bobby Lee]

There's one in Century City Mall and there's one in the Valley. Should we just return these and we can get something else?

[Dax Flame]

I cut the price tag off.

[Bobby Lee]

Right, smart guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Smart, smart, smart. Now we can't return them.

[Dax Flame]

Well, because I thought it would be rude.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Dax Flame]

I do have one other shirt from there. Yeah, it's in my car.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want it.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

No. What is it? Does it say anything on it?

[Dax Flame]

It has a collar.

[Bobby Lee]

Honestly, dude, go get it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't want it.

[Bobby Lee]

I need you to have it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a large. I can't wear it. No, listen, when you. We send you to the Congo where we just send you Spain, whatever. I don't think Spain now, but wherever we send you, get me a specific, a medium shirt. Specific to what? The area that you're in.

[Dax Flame]

Okay?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I mean like go to.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to like a Hard Rock Cafe or go to like a Hooters or whatever and. Yeah, Hooters Singapore.

[Dax Flame]

I could order you a high.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want. I can do that too.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. That's not what I want. I want the thought that counts.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't think that through at all.

[Bobby Lee]

What was the thought of this?

[Dax Flame]

The coins?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, let's go through the. Let's go through those coins. Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

This is just what was left over.

[Dax Flame]

I. I actually just couldn't think of something.

[Bobby Lee]

So you didn't buy any gifts and then you thought these guys sent me to Japan. I'll just get your change.

[Dax Flame]

Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, I don't know if you collect coins.

[Andrew Santino]

We sent you to Japan.

[Dax Flame]

Do you collect coins?

[Bobby Lee]

No, dude, nobody does.

[Dax Flame]

I'll get you all both different gifts.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no. I don't want another gift.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I want you to give him another gift. You keep giving me change. You keep giving me loose change from wherever you go. Yeah, I'm fine with this. Yeah, loose changes go for me. I'm giving loose chains.

[Dax Flame]

I do have.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want them. I have enough from him.

[Bobby Lee]

I think this is very thoughtful that he is.

[Dax Flame]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I actually appreciate this.

[Dax Flame]

I have a bill, like a 10,000 yen bill that I was gonna take to the currency exchange, but I could give it to you.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

How much is that worth?

[Dax Flame]

$70.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's okay. It's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But anyway, look in the camera and say thank you for being a bad friend.

[Dax Flame]

Thank you for being a bad friend. I just ordered a pizza, and when the delivery driver gets here, one of Japan's biggest pop groups will perform for them. Are you excited?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Dax Flame]

This is an example of the performance they'll get. Hey, this is going to be awesome. We just got the pizza. But the driver said they didn't want to be in the video. The driver didn't. I don't think wanted to be on camera today. But then if. If you would like some pizza, there's. You can still have pizza. Co.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Who dance.