Michael Jeep Jordan

Summary

Bad Friends Podcast: “Michael Jeep Jordan”

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Date: August 25, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Bobby and Andrew riff on a range of absurd, irreverent, and topical subjects — from their struggles with housing and spa beds to a wild brainstorming session for a satirical comedy film about a real “whites only” town in Arkansas. They bounce from pop culture (remakes of classic comedies) to deep-cut commentary on race, segregation, and identity, with their trademark blend of biting humor and playful riffing. The episode is rich with running gags (notably “Michael Jeep Jordan”), movie pitches, cultural observations, and plenty of crowd-sourced fan engagement as they audition candidates to replace a podcast staffer.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Living Arrangements & Korean Spa Culture

• Bobby discusses giving Andrew $100 to stay at the Wi Spa, a 24/7 Korean spa in Koreatown, because Andrew’s apartment has a "lead disaster."
• Andrew: “There’s lead in the walls.” (01:16)
• The duo riffs about the discomfort of sleeping at spas: short beds, cultural differences, and communal nudity.
• Andrew: “It’s hard to sleep in those beds… They’re not made for full sized adults.” (02:21)
• Bobby reflects on the embarrassment of asking friends for help, a holdover from his struggling comic days.

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2. Comedian Road Stories & Pauly Shore Anecdotes

• Bobby and Andrew swap tales about going on the road as openers for big comedians.
  • Pauly Shore splitting sandwiches to save for dinner and jumping Jamba Juice lines as a local celebrity.
• Bobby: “Jamba Juice was like a Lord of the Rings movie. People waited in line.” (05:25)
• Insight into how comedians support each other, with humor exposing the harshness (and stinginess) of the industry.

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3. Remakes and Comedic Casting

• Andrew attended the new "Naked Gun" remake and critiques the casting of Liam Neeson: “Why wouldn't they cast a fucking comedian instead of Liam Neeson?” (06:38)
• The hosts imagine Steve Martin in the lead and bemoan the loss of the original’s “dense straight man” magic.
• Conversation expands to Hollywood’s tendency to reboot classic comedies and their hope for more support of theatrical comedies—“We need more comedy.” (08:12)

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4. Movie Industry Satire & Future Spoofs

• Discussion veers into which upcoming films look promising, poking fun at absurd sequel titles, especially in the “Avatar” franchise (“Fire and Ash,” “Far and Wind”).
• Bobby jokes about a new movie he’s in, and the two pivot to a call for a possible “Bad Friends” movie.

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5. Wild Movie Pitch: The “Whites Only” Ozark Town

• Bobby proposes a film based on a real whites-only town in Arkansas, sparking a riff on discrimination, community boundaries, and the absurdity of self-imposed segregation.
  • Bobby: “I open an all-Korean Ozark town next to your whites-only town. And for some reason it’s like Brokeback, we fall in love.” (10:12)
• The segment satirizes racial exclusion, flipping the script with fantastical ideas (magical boundaries, rainbow rings of minority communities).
• Andrew ups the absurdity: “At the end, we reveal the whites are all aliens. They’re all lizards.” (18:25)
• Gags about infiltrating the town with the “hottest minority of every race” (“Michael Jeep Jordan,” a running mis-speak by Bobby, becomes a full-blown bit.)

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6. Media Literacy and the Sydney Sweeney “Jeans” Scandal

• The hosts lampoon online outrage at the actress’ jeans commercial, where “genes” is conflated with “eugenics.”
  • Andrew: “She does have pretty good fucking jeans… She has good genes. Our parents.” (32:02)
• They note the absurdity of social media reactions and compare media manufactured controversy to Trump’s rhetorical strategy (“two weeks!”).

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7. Familial Petty Arguments

• Andrew anticipates silly fights with his dad during an upcoming family visit, recounting a minor feud over using the “official” popcorn bowl.
  • Andrew: “It’s a bowl. You put popcorn. Now it is a popcorn bowl.” (49:16)
• Bobby and Andrew swap stories of generational differences, habits, and the weird stakes of ordinary objects.

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8. Fan Submissions: The Booth Replacement Challenge

• The hosts watch and assess several fan videos for their “Fancy B” replacement.
• Candid evaluations blend encouragement and jokes about diversity: “Perhaps we should have some more color in the booth.” (65:13)
• Memorable Quote:
  • Andrew after a strong submission: “Shut it down. We’ve got the guy.” (67:05)

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9. Science, Space, and Alien Riffs

• The conversation shifts to incoming interstellar objects, with Bobby suggesting a Harvard scientist believes one might be alien technology.
  • Andrew: “Do they think they know where it’s going to hit?” (57:00)
  • Bobby: “It’s not a hit situation, Guy. It’s a slow down situation. It’s like a ‘what’s up dog?’ situation.” (57:15)
• Jokey musing about alien societies learning about humanity through podcasts, and speculation about being invited onto a seven-mile-long alien craft.

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10. Rapid-Fire Jokes & Light Observational Chatter

• White people wearing Asian rice hats, questionable hiking fashion, and Airbnb mishaps provide fodder for quick, playful jokes.
• Bobby’s home maintenance neglect (not changing air filters) leads to a mini-rant about LA tap water and microplastics.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Superman:
  • Andrew: “He can jump over a building that’s 50 stories high. He can’t see through lead. Give me a break.” (01:39)
• On remaking Airplane:
  • Bobby: “I hope they never remake that movie.” (07:46)
• Movie pitch gone wild:
  • Bobby: “So basically… we have a meeting, right? I go, this is the boundary, right? But one day… we lock eyes… and then we don’t know what to do.” (10:37)
  • Andrew: “At the end, we reveal the whole world is minorities and the whites are actually the minority.” (18:44)
• On media outrage:
  • Andrew: “Media literacy is dead. Also, she has great… yeah, her genealogy is great.” (33:01)
• On Michael Jeep Jordan:
  • Bobby: “I bet you money, you put Michael Jeep Jordan—” (18:32)
  • Andrew: “Can someone at home draw a picture of a jeep with Michael B. Jordan’s head on the front?” (16:48)
• On generational squabbles:
  • Andrew (about the popcorn bowl): “He got so mad… Don’t put it in there! That’s not the popcorn bowl! I go, it’s a bowl. You put popcorn. Now it is a popcorn bowl.” (49:15)
• On alien podcasting:
  • Bobby: “If any sort of communication is getting through the airwaves into outer space, it’s probably podcast, because there’s so many of them being shot out into the world.” (59:48)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Wi Spa/Lead Walls Story: 00:59 – 03:35
• Comedian Road Stories (Pauly Shore, Jamba Juice): 04:00 – 06:07
• Naked Gun Remake & Comedy Films: 06:08 – 07:48
• Movie Pitches (“Whites Only” Town): 10:02 – 19:01
• Sydney Sweeney Jeans Scandal Discussion: 30:17 – 33:22
• Andrew’s Popcorn Bowl Family Feud: 48:00 – 50:08
• Fan Submissions/Booth Replacement Auditions: 62:26 – 68:40
• Alien Craft & Space Jokery: 55:25 – 61:08

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Final Thoughts

This episode encapsulates the Bad Friends dynamic: sharp, unpredictable, and relentlessly silly, even when lampooning real racism or plumbing family dysfunction. The hosts’ free-associative style yields inspired satire (“Michael Jeep Jordan”), lampoons current events, and fosters a unique rapport with listeners — inviting them into both jokes and show business hustle (the booth replacement challenge).

Fans of off-the-cuff, boundary-pushing comedy will find this a quintessential installment — especially those invested in movie talk, behind-the-scenes gripes, and the evolution of a running bit into a full absurdist saga.

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Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

Today in McDonaldland news, Mount McDonald is experiencing thick volcanic shape activity. So try the new Mount McDonaldland shake when you order the McDonaldland meal with your very own character souvenir kit. A McDonald's.

[Andrew Santino]

A McDonald Land gets a McDonaldland meal in McDonaldland. Hey, I'm on tour.

[Bobby Lee]

He's on tour.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm doing some dates. I'm gonna be at Tempe. I'm gonna be in Brea. I'm doing a bunch of casino runs in Southern California. I'm doing the Borgana in Atlantic City. I'm going all over the place. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets.

[Bobby Lee]

Andrewsantino.com say Andrew Santino, andrewsantino.com tickets go.

[Andrew Santino]

To the ticket, San Francisco. I'm coming to you too. I'm going all over andrew santino.com. you two are bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Who are these two idiots? You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends. So I gave you 100 to go to Wii Spot. Why? Because you're sleeping in the studio. Because your apartment, there's some sort of disaster.

[Andrew Santino]

There's lead in the walls.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. How do you even know that? Dude, what are you, Superman?

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't. Can you see through the walls at home?

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, wait. Can Superman see through lead or he can't?

[Andrew Santino]

X ray vision.

[Bobby Lee]

He can't see through lead, I don't think, though.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean he can see that there's lead in the walls?

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Superman cannot see through lead.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying. I just told you that.

[Andrew Santino]

How can he not see through lead?

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Out of all the things lead I.

[Andrew Santino]

Can see through lead, the guy can. Is faster than a fucking train.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He can jump over a building that's 50 stories high. He can't see through lead.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me a break.

[Bobby Lee]

He can see through copper.

[Andrew Santino]

But lead is known for its density and ability to block X rays. That's why lead aprons are used in medical settings to prevent patients and Superman from coming in and taking over a small business.

[Bobby Lee]

And Lex Luthor, his fortress or whatever. His little compound full of lead. Yeah. Anyway, I gave you a hundred dollars. I don't know why we got. Oh, the lead at your apartment. And what I'm going to say is, then I said the Go sleep at Wii Spa, which is a Korean spa in Korean Koreatown, open 24 7. It's a nice spa. There's a restaurant, there's a bunch of facilities. Dry sauna, workout over 5, 8.

[Andrew Santino]

It's hard to sleep in those beds. Yeah, I'm just telling you why. Because they're short. They're for little Asian. They're not made for full sized adults.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that was the big issue. But you also had an issue with the cleanliness of it. Or no. Or no. It's a very clean place. I don't know, it's just a thing about, like, because you are naked. Being naked with a bunch of strangers in like a soup with like, hot tub is just very. It's odd soup. That's what it felt like. Like, I never, I never. I never went to. Can I get the we spa soup. That's what it felt like. I was a boy. Like, what are you talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

You would.

[Bobby Lee]

It's water.

[Andrew Santino]

You would have never lasted a day. In ancient Rome, we used to do that all the time. Remember? Back in back. You.

[Bobby Lee]

You and I, dude, love, love. And we mixed it with other species.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

There were monkeys running around. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, honestly, this is my problem with this, though. He says, he goes, he can't. The bed's too small, blah, blah, blah. And I said, I already offered you to sleep at the house multiple times.

[Bobby Lee]

Your house.

[Andrew Santino]

Turn it down.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he showers at my house. He showered there a few times already. And I said, you're more than welcome, dude. But he. I think he likes the sadness of sleeping at the studio.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I like being able to come and go at my own.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that, that's really what it is. Because, you know, you're allowed to at my house.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

He just doesn't. Feels like he doesn't want to. I don't want to intrude. I know it was.

[Bobby Lee]

It reminds me of this. When I was struggling for a very long time in this business, I knew I had friend. You know, you. You know, headliners are millionaires. Yeah, right. But, like, you can't pay rent. Right? So, like, should I call so and so. And I was always so. I'd only call my parents.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, because you're afraid of inconvenience.

[Bobby Lee]

I think that's what it is. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But also, you're like, they don't want me in the house. I'm. I'm just a pig.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's fine here. I like the couch. And then Mencio would like, bro again, dude, like every three days, he's 500 bucks, bro. But what the bro.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you're struggling.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I was struggling.

[Andrew Santino]

He's making 500aminute.

[Bobby Lee]

Paulie never did. You just. That's a part of your story, dude. Not eating, dude. It's a part of your story, brah. He's right, right, right. And I'm like, okay, I won't eat.

[Andrew Santino]

One time I heard a story from Sandy Danto. Did I tell you this story on here? Yeah, that Paulie, one time they went out for lunch. They went out for subway when they were on the road together.

[Bobby Lee]

I have some stories too. Yeah, go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

They run for they subway and Paulie goes. Sandy's like, we'll take a look at an Italian foot long. And Paulie goes, smart, dude. Half now and eat the other half for dinner. At the other half for dinner.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he did it. And then Sandy was like, kind of wanted the whole thing now. And he was like, nah, dude. Yeah, half now, half later.

[Bobby Lee]

I used to go on the road. He would go, did. It's your time to pay, Dan.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, dude. I'm like, where are we going, Potbelly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sandwiches, bro.

[Andrew Santino]

Why don't we go to cvs? We'll just get some snacks.

[Bobby Lee]

But he was always gracious and I love Polly, but another time, I already told you the Jamba Juice story, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We've already said that many times in this part. Yeah, yeah. And I'm gonna say it again. Say it young. Young Bobby. We're at in San Diego and Jamba Juice had just come out.

[Andrew Santino]

Big deal.

[Bobby Lee]

Big dude. Jamba Juice was like a Lord of the Rings movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Really? People waited in line.

[Bobby Lee]

Waited in line for Jamba Juice, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

It was unreal.

[Bobby Lee]

And we were there. He's like, did follow me and we went right to the front.

[Andrew Santino]

So big. That's a big deal. Jump the line at the Juice.

[Bobby Lee]

But he was also. There was no Internet back then. He was also a very big star. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could just do that. I think I would never do it. I wouldn't lie.

[Andrew Santino]

He's still so famous. Yeah, they're from San Luis Obispo. They're from the slow, baby. But what happened? You jumped the line.

[Bobby Lee]

We jumped a lot. And I was so. I was blushing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I'm like, dude, this is like moral. Like ethically wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. To cut all these people off.

[Bobby Lee]

No one complained and we just got it. So maybe, I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Then they made a drink called the Weasel for a while.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It prompted them up. Yeah, The Jamba Juice line. You know what? I went to go see the other night. Let me texted you.

[Bobby Lee]

Let Me guess.

[Andrew Santino]

I told you.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus Christ Superstar.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm showing at the Hollywood Ball.

[Bobby Lee]

At Hollywood?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you really go?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. Jesus is my heart. I don't need to go to the Hollywood Bowl.

[Bobby Lee]

What'd you see?

[Andrew Santino]

I went to go see Naked Gun.

[Bobby Lee]

Was it. Let me go ahead. Well, the shirt's great.

[Andrew Santino]

It's fun. It's fun.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, it's so funny because as a comic, that must be hard because it's all jokes.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, what bums you out is you're like, why wouldn't they cast a fucking comedian instead of Liam Neeson? Because Liam Neeson's playing Taken the whole time.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, right.

[Andrew Santino]

Which is okay. But, like, Leslie Nielsen was so fucking unbelievably funny.

[Bobby Lee]

He was also an actor who.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. But Leslie was a Had. Can be. His comedic timing was unmatched.

[Bobby Lee]

So let's cast it now. Who would you do as a comedian?

[Andrew Santino]

Just talking about it. I said it would Steve. Steve Martin would have fucking hit an absolute home run.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

A literal home run at that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He also has the white hair. He's got that. It'd been a great, beautiful character comparison because Steve plays the straight guy so well for so many years.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And the thing about that character is Leslie played an unbelievably dense straight guy. Like a dumb straight guy. But he sold you on all of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because it was quick and he threw it away and it was so you would. I remember watching the original Naked Gun and. And rewatching to catch jokes, because I didn't. I don't think I missed one joke in this. And I'm not saying it was bad. It was just like it. That it. The. You know, you just have an affinity for that old thing. It just felt so different when I saw it for the first time.

[Bobby Lee]

Back then, the best was Airplane.

[Andrew Santino]

Same thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Same thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Same same rhythm.

[Bobby Lee]

I hope they never remake that movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, they're definitely. They're doing it now, I'm sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

But Pam Anderson was fucking great. But the Tomatometer 91.

[Bobby Lee]

That's AM.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's really good. It's doing well. I don't know financially how it did in the theaters this weekend, because I don't know how many people are buying tickets. But it's important we do as comedians. We need to support comedies and theaters.

[Bobby Lee]

They'll do another one. I. I think they'll do another.

[Andrew Santino]

If this hits 60 million. They will.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they will.

[Andrew Santino]

It might.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it will worldwide.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we need that dude. We need more comedy.

[Bobby Lee]

Mexicans love it too.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, bro.

[Andrew Santino]

Nick had gone dog.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that OJ joke was good, bro.

[Andrew Santino]

The oj. By the way, the OJ joke was good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the OJ joke was good. And. And, and. But they gave away some of their good jokes. I will say they gave away a few too many of their. Of my. Of good hitters right in the previews. Which is fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But then I saw a couple of previews for movies that I do want to see.

[Bobby Lee]

The. I. Let me guess.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

The Paul Thomas Anderson one, of course. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It looks so good.

[Bobby Lee]

The Arnofsky one.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it looks good.

[Bobby Lee]

Looks good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it looks good. I'm gonna see it no matter what.

[Bobby Lee]

Based on those posters. Let's see what I want to see here.

[Andrew Santino]

Tron.

[Bobby Lee]

Nah, but you know what? But Avatar, Fire and Wind or whatever that's called. What's it called?

[Andrew Santino]

Fire and Ash.

[Bobby Lee]

Ash Far and Wind.

[Andrew Santino]

Avatar Far and Wind.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I said Fire, but okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Far.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Look at that wind over there. It's so far.

[Andrew Santino]

How far is that wind?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, pretty far. But we can get on a blue horse and get there.

[Andrew Santino]

There's.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know what they. I don't know what they are. What are those things? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I want to see their. They've remade Running man, which.

[Bobby Lee]

Absolutely. That looks great.

[Andrew Santino]

It looks so good.

[Bobby Lee]

But when James Camera showed Fire and Ash to his wife, apparently she cried.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

She said it was a masterpiece.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. And then there's my movies coming out. I didn't see a preview for it yet.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Now you see me, now you don't.

[Bobby Lee]

There you go. You're in. That looks good though.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it looks good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Exciting. Better than Borderlands.

[Andrew Santino]

Much. But the point is. Yeah, the point I'm trying to make.

[Bobby Lee]

What is the point?

[Andrew Santino]

This is an open window for us to start trying to make comedies again.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

We're trying. We gotta try.

[Bobby Lee]

We gotta try.

[Andrew Santino]

We really do.

[Bobby Lee]

Bad Friends movie.

[Andrew Santino]

And what is the movie?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, can I just say something? I have a new idea. Okay. You know that whites only town that they made in the Ozark?

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

No, listen.

[Andrew Santino]

I tried to move there.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. So the movie is about you having a whites only Ozark town.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, just listen. All right.

[Bobby Lee]

I open an all Korean Ozark town next to you, right next to right on the border. Right. And for some reason it's like a broke back. We fall in love.

[Andrew Santino]

Why does it again?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It always goes to I have to.

[Bobby Lee]

Fall in love with you.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically, you know, we, we. We have a meeting, right? I go, this is the boundary, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But one day you're like doing something in the fields. I'm on the fields and we lock eyes and we go to the boundary and we just start talking and then we don't know what to do.

[Andrew Santino]

There's an invisible fence we can't go through.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, like, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, like, like, now you see me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, you want to put magical elements.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

It's got to be magic. Wait, honestly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That is a good start of like that whites only town. What is it called? Yeah, what's the name of that stupid town? It's only whites only.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And it's in, it's in Arkansas.

[Bobby Lee]

They're called Return to the land. Is there.

[Andrew Santino]

They're called. The crew is called the Return to the Land.

[Bobby Lee]

Something happened for them to drive them out there.

[Andrew Santino]

You mean they did something?

[Bobby Lee]

No, they had an interaction somewhere in their life.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Something happened.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? Where, you know, they were like, ah, this.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, here you go. Let's see inside the whites only town in Arkansas. You don't Jews, no gays, no blacks, no Jews, no gays, no problem.

[Bobby Lee]

Kushbas building houses. But it says no. It doesn't say, no Asians.

[Andrew Santino]

No. They said gays. Start it over. Let me hear it again.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No blacks, no Jews, no gays. High up in the Ozark hills in the state of Arkansas, dozens of people have been working hard. Why is it with a British accent, no blacks, no Jews, no gays. Why is it? It's something about it. Okay, go ahead. They're building a new community. It's called Return to the Land and it is a town open to white people only. They are millennials and Gen Z and this is a new update of age old prejudice.

[Bobby Lee]

What we've done here is establish a place where we have. Even the dog's white. That is just for the sake of. Holy shit. You know, our culture.

[Andrew Santino]

And that culture effectively was saying this.

[Bobby Lee]

Is a white culture, a white place, white American culture.

[Andrew Santino]

But what this sounds like is bringing back segregation. Is that a fair assessment? It's free association. So we're not trying to keep other people down.

[Bobby Lee]

This is a small settlement in the.

[Andrew Santino]

Middle of the Ozarks, but they are being kept out, even if of.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I mean, you don't let everyone into your home.

[Andrew Santino]

Around 40 live here. Ah. Hundreds more across the world have paid to be members. And while the men do the physical labor, the women take care of the children who Live here full time. That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Very loving community if you're part of the community. But if you're black or if you're.

[Andrew Santino]

Jewish or if you're gay, you can't be part of that community.

[Bobby Lee]

They can have their own communities and they already do. You might be wondering how any next to yours legal.

[Andrew Santino]

You'll see Return to the Land is structured as a private members association, which they believe allows them to discriminate on the basis of ethnicity along with other factors.

[Bobby Lee]

This is the movie, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

This is a movie. May well fail. The Arkansas Attorney General has said his office is now reviewing the matter as a result of our reporting and that there is no room for racial discrimination in Arkansas or anywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, can I just say this?

[Andrew Santino]

First of all, there seems to be a little bit of room for discrimination in Arkansas. They got a plot of land. No, but. But here's the. Here's the most fucked up part about all this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is this is honestly already a great movie. Like, it's already a movie. You know what it is?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

This is like white guys instead of white girls. And then we just get. They go in like. They go in full on white.

[Bobby Lee]

Like Drew Ski.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Like go undercover as full.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm Cliff Stevenson. I'm an accountant, but I retired.

[Andrew Santino]

If you see like an albino black guy, like an Imagine albino black guy, like, he's. That's what it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

One of the Wayans plays an albino black guy that goes in there and tricks them into thinking that he's white.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Like this guy. And he infiltrates. He infiltrates the.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to be that guy.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't play him.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? You put his eyes.

[Andrew Santino]

He could be Asian.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You play his Asian buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I got to be Cliff Stevenson, though.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm Cliff Stevenson.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude. I mean, this is such a wild. What were you going to say? The. This is a. It's an interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I wonder if you just kind of wandered in. Hey, guys.

[Andrew Santino]

If you wandered in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, wouldn't work.

[Bobby Lee]

But then one of the. They would shoot me.

[Andrew Santino]

They did say no blacks, no Jews. No.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

Gays. They didn't say anything about Asians, though.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I said. Yeah. I mean, why.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, that is.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe I'm allowed.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe you are.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Make my eye. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Used to smelling salts before you walk over there.

[Bobby Lee]

That is interesting. But you know what?

[Andrew Santino]

I want to visit.

[Bobby Lee]

We can buy the other property around it.

[Andrew Santino]

See, this Is what's really cool. If you really wanted to be a boss, like if you were a black. A black company.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You would buy all the land around it. That would be wild.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You really want to put these guys out. And by the way, you buy all the land around it except for one little strip of road that goes in and out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But you control the road.

[Bobby Lee]

And then you do a gigantic Travis Scott concert. Right. Free. Imagine on the border, just thousands of.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, it's just every single day, a new black artist is performing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Every single day.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. That would be amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way. Every musician would do it for free. They'd be like, I'll perform there for free. That's so. It's.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so good. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then on the outside of the. Of the black outside ring.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

An Asian outside ring, then a gay ring, then a Jew ring.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. And you. You form a rainbow.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what they always want.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go. You would see a rainbow maybe. Right, right.

[Andrew Santino]

And their message would finally be clear that we are actually all. We're all one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We're all just one.

[Bobby Lee]

But I'm telling you right now, I bet you money you put Michael beat Jeep.

[Andrew Santino]

Michael jeep Jordan. Beep, beep. It's Michael jeep Jordan.

[Bobby Lee]

I had a beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

[Andrew Santino]

It's Michael jeep Jordan Jordan.

[Bobby Lee]

But I bet you money you he.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, can someone at home draw a picture of a jeep with Michael b. Jordan's head on the front of it?

[Bobby Lee]

Michael jeep Jordan.

[Andrew Santino]

Michael jeep Jordan. What if he. What?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, if you tried to get in.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but if he just wandered, I bet you one of those girls would.

[Andrew Santino]

Be like, he's so hot.

[Bobby Lee]

He's. He's so hot.

[Andrew Santino]

Letting that guy.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to. She would sneak into the woods. Where are you going, honey? I'm just going out to get a goat milk. Yeah, there's goat milk out there. Or whatever. She would.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I thought you said adult milk. I thought that was great.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, adult.

[Andrew Santino]

Going there to milk an adult.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Michael jeep Jordan. Beep, beep. Dude, look at that. Keep your shirt on. He's got the top down there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

God, is that automatic or stick? Michael jeep Jordan. That's. He's got a big stick shift.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. All right. I up.

[Andrew Santino]

Michael jeep Jordan.

[Bobby Lee]

I had a slip up.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it was great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We love a Michael jeep Jordan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. How funny. If we got to meet him one day and he's like, what's up? It's Michael Jeep Jordan.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, that'd be great if Michael.

[Andrew Santino]

B. Jordan or Idris Ilba walked over there with that accent.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They'd be like, okay, come on.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

That's the. You know, that's going to be it. They're going to be like, why? It's only. Except for some people that we really admire.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Or Tony. Tony Thornburg. That's my Asian Tony Thornberg. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Who is that?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wait, don't be. But don't. Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you know. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

That's my crush.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. This is your crush I forgot about.

[Bobby Lee]

That's my half Asian crush right there. Tony Thornberg. Can Tony be a part of it?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Tony's got to be there, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

So this is it. We send in the hottest. The hottest minority of every race.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Infiltrate.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The all white land.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

So great idea. It's great to see who can break through. It's basically. There's an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And at the end, we reveal that the whites are all aliens. They're all lizards.

[Bobby Lee]

M. Night Shaw. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's an M. Light Shamalam Ding Dong movie featuring Michael Jeep Jordan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I think let's come up with a different switch here. No, the whites were always minorities. They were. Oh, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, well, that's it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We pan out to realize the whole world is minorities and the whites are. Yeah, the whites are actually the minority.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

They're the only ones.

[Andrew Santino]

There were the 40 whites left left on Earth.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the switch, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow, that's good.

[Andrew Santino]

Where in America is this Is. That is crazy, though, to think that they. So they can. They can do this because they set up a private institution. Right. So then it's like a. It's like saying, I have a club. You can't belong. And then they just say, I'm allowed to accept people that I want in there only. Right. Like a. Like I can't walk into a vfw. Right. I can't. I'm not part of the club. You can.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm just saying. I'm agreeing with you.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then that's how they're getting away with it, right? They're just saying, you can't be. But also, what fucking black person or gay or Jew wants to live there? They don't want to live there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't even need to publicize it. Just be like, we're going to the woods. Yeah, just go to the fucking woods.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. No, no one's going, can I go?

[Andrew Santino]

Like, no, black guys is like, dude, I'm trying to get there.

[Bobby Lee]

It is pretty out there. It's 40 people and people.

[Andrew Santino]

There's so much land. All they could go people if they want. People want to move to the sticks. People can move anywhere to the sticks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but if I wanted to all Korean community, why can't I have one?

[Andrew Santino]

You have one. It's on Wilshire, going down there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know it is, but I'm just saying, like, if I was like, you know what? I just want to be around a bunch of Koreans and we live in a community. Why would that be controversial?

[Andrew Santino]

You're. I know what you're saying, and you're right, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

No being real.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you're being anti woke and I like it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not being anti woke. I'm just saying my family and some dude is like, hey, I don't know you. Can I come?

[Andrew Santino]

I think the. I think you can if it's a. It's as if I think what they're. What the.

[Bobby Lee]

I see what you're saying.

[Andrew Santino]

What the attorney is saying is that you cannot keep people from coming out there just based on race, creator, religion. But that being said, you just own a bunch of land. Like if you owned 100 acres of land.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You could say, I'm only letting people in there that I want in there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

The problem is they were too forward with it.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut your mouth.

[Andrew Santino]

Just say, shut the fuck up. Say we're creating a private community and only we can be in there who's weak, whoever we choose.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Just be coy about it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Or make up a lie.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, what's.

[Bobby Lee]

We're. We. We had some really fucked up religion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, they. By the way, something is brewing over there.

[Bobby Lee]

There's something.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, they're starting something.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, right.

[Andrew Santino]

You know that. You know the crux of this, that I. It was a dead giveaway that this is like something else. It's a membership you have to pay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So obviously something is brewing. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

I've got the movie, actually.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

I have the new Switch. So basically it's kind of hacky, but it's. They're out there, right? And the kids, they have no idea there are blacks or Asians or gays in the world. They get older, right? And then they. And then it's a horror movie for them, right? So one kid wanders out, right? I was like, what's up? Dog.

[Andrew Santino]

Reverse. Get out.

[Bobby Lee]

It's reverse. Get out. Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Get in. Get back in.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. Get it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's get back in. Because once you leave the community, you're lost in the woods.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Or some guy, you know, I run into them. They're like, what happened to your eyes? Right. I'm like, what do you mean, Mama? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw a man who was disabled. His eyes. Something was wrong.

[Bobby Lee]

He was quick. Yeah, he was quick. It's very soft skin.

[Andrew Santino]

From director Michael Jeep Jordan comes a revolutionary film. Get back in.

[Bobby Lee]

Get back in, yeah. Get back in. Yeah. Hello Fresh. You may have heard of HelloFresh. They send Chef crafted recipes and fresh ingredients to your home.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know that?

[Bobby Lee]

Do they not?

[Andrew Santino]

They do. And this summer they made their biggest menu upgrade yet. This isn't the hellofresh you remember. It's bigger, healthier and tastier. They got steak and seafood recipes delivered every week for no extra cost. That's three times more seafood on the menu now at no extra cost.

[Bobby Lee]

And then they doubled its menu. Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's twice the size.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Now you can choose from 100 options each week, including new seasonal dishes and recipes from around the world. Dig into bigger portions. That'll keep everyone satisfied.

[Andrew Santino]

And look, Bobby is very healthy. You know, he's lost a bunch of weight and everyone is complimenting him. He's being healthier. And thank you to HelloFresh. They haven't either. Even healthier.

[Bobby Lee]

People think I'm Steven Yun now.

[Andrew Santino]

They do. They got a healthier menu filled with high protein veggie pack recipes. You gotta try it out. The best way to cook just got better. Go to hellofresh.com badfriends10fm now to get 10 free meals and a free item for life.

[Bobby Lee]

One per box with active subscription free.

[Andrew Santino]

Meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's hellofresh.com bad friends10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free item for life.

[Bobby Lee]

DraftKings sportsbook. The rivalries, the marching bands, the upsets. Saturdays just got me way more fun.

[Andrew Santino]

College football is back, baby. You think you know the game. Put your knowledge to the test with DraftKings sportsbook and turn your picks into.

[Bobby Lee]

Big payouts with live betting, rivalry week, odds boosts and more. DraftKings sportsbook has everything you need on every Saturday.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, I'm so excited for this football season. I know Bobby isn't, because it's not. I am European football. It's American football.

[Bobby Lee]

I love the Eagles.

[Andrew Santino]

He loves the Philadelphia Eagles. But here. Here's something for special for our listeners. New DraftKings customers bet $5 to get $300 in bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use the code Bad Friends. That's code Bad Friends for new customers to get $300 in bonus bets instantly. When you bet just five bucks, download.

[Bobby Lee]

The DraftKings sportsbook app and use code Bad Friends. Like Andrew just said.

[Andrew Santino]

That's exactly right. In partnership with DraftKings Sportsbook, the Crown is yours. You got a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York, call 877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPENY. That is 467-369 in Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Blue Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. Fees May apply in Illinois, 21 +. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction board. In Ontario, bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gamer resources, see DKNG co Audio.

[Bobby Lee]

Talk Space.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, we went down in volume. Did you notice that? You know why? Because we're talking to the fans right now. We're talking to the fans who need to talk.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly. Dude. And let me say something, okay? If you have trauma. Yeah, you. I know you do.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you too.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Bad stuff, right? You need to do emdr. You need to. Someone to talk to you. I mean, you know, and. And Talkspace is there for you. It'll save your life.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, Talk Space is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime and anywhere. We've always been a big proponent about talking about your problems to other people. We tell a lot of our problems to you guys at home. You need to talk to someone as well. Get therapy and medication all in one place. Because unlike other telehealth companies, psychiatry is available through talkspace. So you can get the medication you need to supplement your talk.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it. Is it convenient? Andrew?

[Andrew Santino]

It is remarkably convenient. You can do this literally from the comfort of your own home. Do it from your car, do it from your rooftop, do it from your friend's house. It doesn't matter where you are. You can do it from anywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

And is also backed by science.

[Andrew Santino]

It's completely backed by science. Talkspace partners with major research institutions to validate their treatment methods, making sure that you receive the best care possible from absolutely anywhere. Bobby's been using it for quite a long time.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'm proud of you because you're making so much progress, both physically and mentally.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me tell you something. I use it and I love it.

[Andrew Santino]

You do really love it. And you're getting somewhere with it, which I think is wonderful, man. Everyone should try it. As a listener of this podcast, you're going to get $80 off your first month with Talkspace. When you go to talkspace.com bad friends, enter the promo code SPACE80.

[Bobby Lee]

That's SPACE80. S, P, A, C, E80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com bad Friends and enter promo code space. Yeah, that's interesting, though.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Fascinating. It's a fascinating, fascinating thing to move down to the Ozarks and do that.

[Bobby Lee]

But if you had never seen a minority. If I was. If you're white, right? Yeah. If you're a white, Macon's the whitest.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not, according to you.

[Bobby Lee]

So, Macone, let's say you grew up, you don't know anything about Asians, blacks, gays, or anything, and then you finally run into one. What do you think your reaction would be? Fear? Curiosity. That's what I'm saying. I think a lot of people are that. What do you mean? Andres isn't what. Andres saw a black person for the.

[Andrew Santino]

First time as, like a teenager, and he, like, screamed and pointed.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Andrew Santino]

Spain.

[Bobby Lee]

Spain. Yeah, but. So you would be curious, Andres, European versus American thing. Yeah, but you have never heard of him. If no one ever talked to you.

[Andrew Santino]

He's saying if you remove the context of life that you've lived around other races and people, you've never seen it before or known it before. It's like, it's like, if I go to rural China today, there's no way they've seen a fucking ginge.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They're all going to be like, huh? They're going to be shocked.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't buy that.

[Andrew Santino]

100%. 100%. When have they seen.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I think, though, even if it's not. Even if you, like, see, like, and this might be a weird comparison, but if I were to see, like, an animal, I don't know, I'm gonna, like, if I see, like, I don't. I've never seen a shrew before. Like, I see true. I'm like, I want to go pet it.

[Andrew Santino]

What race of people are you comparing? This is a.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you saying Middle Eastern? Peter, what are you saying, dude?

[Andrew Santino]

What are you saying, dude?

[Bobby Lee]

Specific. Yeah, yeah. If I see a panda, I. I think Yeah, I think animal cre.

[Andrew Santino]

Living creatures.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You wouldn't think if you saw, like, Asian person, that that was a humanoid. Well, I thought, there's another humanoid that looks slightly different than me, but not this guy. There's another animal.

[Andrew Santino]

I would imagine if you never saw anybody that didn't look like you. Truly, genuinely. Right. For the first time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Your instinct is threat for sure. As a human species. I bet you it is. In fact, it for certain is, because I bet you.

[Bobby Lee]

Shaquille. Shaquille o'. Neal. Yes. If I'm around. No, just listen. If I'm around little Asians my whole life, and one day I'm just like, you know me walking through the forest, minding my own business.

[Andrew Santino]

Kadira. Kadira.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, he's so big.

[Andrew Santino]

He's so big.

[Bobby Lee]

I would probably go, oh, my God. Like, look at that. That's me. That's even.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that Mr. Worldwide?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Who's Kevin Hart? Shaquille O'. Neal. Give me that photo.

[Andrew Santino]

It's insane. Look, that's. That's Gabby Douglas and him.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Imagine. Yeah. So imagine that's. I'm Gabby Douglas. That Shaquille. I would be kind of scared, I thought.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because it's not the color of his skin. It's the size.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, it's the size. Oh, it's the size.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Yao Ming. Same thing.

[Andrew Santino]

No, there's Yao Wishak.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yao's bigger.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but if you saw Yao and he looked like, you would just think it's an inflated version of you. You just think somebody pumped him up all the way. No, if you saw the point I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

Making is I would think it's, you know, I mean, like, somebody's on the shoulder. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

There's two kids in there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But the first time any race ever saw another different race from their people, I'm sure they were freaked out and thought it was a threat for sure.

[Bobby Lee]

But you know what? White people always. White people. Always. People go, oh, beautiful white. Like in Africa and stuff. They follow them around. It's an angel. Right. But with me, it's like, probably not.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, what? You're like an angel whose wings have been clipped.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Like that island, you know that island where that Christian died, where they went to go.

[Andrew Santino]

Try to. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So there's that one I think was Asian even.

[Andrew Santino]

This. This is great point that we're bringing up, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, the Sydney Sweeney. The jeans.

[Andrew Santino]

The jeans.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't get I didn't get it.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't get it either.

[Andrew Santino]

But people are mad.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Because she's saying, you know the play on words that she has great genes in her gene pool. Why?

[Bobby Lee]

It's the. It's not even her saying. Right. It's the ad company.

[Andrew Santino]

No, she says it, but I mean she's just reading copy.

[Bobby Lee]

Reading the copy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we read copy all the time. Yeah, yeah, but. But what is it? McCone knows, he's young, he gets, he's like.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like a eugenics thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

I have blue eyes. She says that right? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Eugenics is the, is the idea and look up the definition. But isn't eugenics the idea that you are. You filter out to make a perfect race. You filter out other kinds of. The study of how to arrange reproduction with human population to increase the occurrence of heritable characteristics regarded as desirable. Right, but that's not what she's saying. She's not saying only fuck people that are gonna give a perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

They're playing with the homonym and people took it. That's hominin.

[Andrew Santino]

Homonym is because of her genes. Genes. Because it's the. It's the same word, different meaning. But what I'm saying is correct, is that eugenics is a completely different ideology than what's being presented. But I don't even know how the misstep happened. It doesn't even make sense to me. How are these two things intertwined? Because she's beautiful and blonde hair, blue eyed. So they're going Nazi shit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the same.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, come on, that's not.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it tied to like. Because you know, Trump says a lot, you know, I mean jeans. I like you have great jeans or you know, you have great jeans. Not the pants. But like he does talk, he talks a lot about jeans.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh so they're putting this.

[Bobby Lee]

They're, they're maybe, I don't know, maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

There was a connection foisting Trump on fucking Sydney Sweeney. Let me say this about this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

First of all, her mom and dad did make a fucking hot kid. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Bingo.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, so she does have pretty good fucking jeans.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She has good genes. Good genes, our parents.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Not good jeans. Not good genes.

[Andrew Santino]

I came out fucking orange.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He came out that.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Well that's insane. Yeah. I mean if we were doing that our jeans. What would the jeans look like?

[Andrew Santino]

Ripped to pre worn one. Just one distressed.

[Bobby Lee]

Just one little side with. You know what I mean? Would be there left.

[Andrew Santino]

You'd be little jean shorts, frayed at the bottom. Yeah, I'd be distressed. I'd be distressed.

[Bobby Lee]

The lowest quality denim, dude. The lowest quality.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, dude, the downtown. Downtown off the factory.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, those. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, the one where when you. When you wear them new with shoes, it dyes the shoes blue. Yeah, that's the jeans that we are. Look, I don't under. I don't understand it. I think it's such a.

[Bobby Lee]

She's fine.

[Andrew Santino]

She's gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

She'll be fine.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's weird that they've kind of like put it on her as if she said something controversial.

[Bobby Lee]

She's fine.

[Andrew Santino]

She's reading bad copy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Media literacy is dead. Media literacy is dead also. She has great. Yeah, her genealogy is great. She's very good looking. Which. She's symmetrical.

[Bobby Lee]

She has better jeans than me.

[Andrew Santino]

Same.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, not literal jeans though. You have phenomenal denim.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, my denim is better.

[Andrew Santino]

You have some of the best denim in the world.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, they're comparing her to Trump.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying. That's, I think, the. The connection there.

[Andrew Santino]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Bobby Lee]

He says it a lot, but he also says a lot. Like billions and billions and billions. He says a lot in two weeks. He says a lot. You know what I mean? Like, if they go, where's the healthcare in two weeks? Which is sm.

[Andrew Santino]

So such a good amount of time. Because one is too quick.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's so smart.

[Andrew Santino]

In a weird. One week means next week. But if you go two weeks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. People forget in two weeks, 100%.

[Andrew Santino]

If I say, how long are you? How long were you over there? You go two weeks. Even if it was like a week and a half.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Two weeks. Like, why are you there for a long time? Yeah, it's enough of amount of time where it's not threatening, but it also gives you weight to go, what? That was two weeks ago. Three weeks.

[Bobby Lee]

Better.

[Andrew Santino]

Three weeks is scary.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because it's almost.

[Bobby Lee]

In three weeks.

[Andrew Santino]

It's almost a month.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

That's too much.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it too much?

[Andrew Santino]

A month is a long time.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

1 12th of a year.

[Bobby Lee]

Two weeks then.

[Andrew Santino]

Think about it though. Two weeks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he's.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, he's organized speech in a way where he knows exactly how to. How to entice you and then make you forget. He should have been in. Now you see me, now you don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

He's so good at that.

[Andrew Santino]

It never happened. Yeah, it's really good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Or when the heats on, he just comes up with Other things that people focus on. He's so good at that.

[Andrew Santino]

Could have been a fantastic four.

[Bobby Lee]

Then.

[Andrew Santino]

He's really good at all.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

He's good, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's like Shin Lim, but white.

[Andrew Santino]

He is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. There, right? And people go, whoa. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then he's gone.

[Bobby Lee]

He's gone.

[Andrew Santino]

But you hear him walking.

[Bobby Lee]

I do hear him walking. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You hear him creaking through the hall.

[Bobby Lee]

And I hear his veins and his ankles, like squishing.

[Andrew Santino]

I can already hear the young.

[Bobby Lee]

What are those things that he has there?

[Andrew Santino]

Gout.

[Bobby Lee]

He's got something going on with the veins and his ankles. Don't like it. Look at that. It's all spilling over his shoe.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Look at that.

[Andrew Santino]

With bruised hands.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me say something. I mean, dude, it's just like, you have so much money. Just leave. Why? We'll just retire.

[Andrew Santino]

Retire?

[Bobby Lee]

Just get out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but he's got to. He's gonna finish being present for sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Zoom into his ankles.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What is it? Venus. He has some sort of thing called Venus something something. What's the disease? He has varicose veins. No, look at.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a real chronic venous insufficiency.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Serious Trump's condition.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So what, his legs get all up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Like blood pools in a certain section of his body.

[Andrew Santino]

We gotta exercise, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you gotta. Actually, isn't golf exercise?

[Andrew Santino]

No. You're just walking around.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's still exercise.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I disagree.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Bye. Bye. By the way, exercise. Someone hiking the other day and I don't know the hiking trail by my house. I think it's called Parque Serrato or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Something Parque Serato.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. But anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

What'S Parque Serato?

[Bobby Lee]

That's what it's called. There was a sign that said that serato means closed.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, park closed. Did you already walk out of there?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I did it anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

Careful.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Paro dumb.

[Bobby Lee]

I did it.

[Andrew Santino]

You're so dumb.

[Bobby Lee]

I did it.

[Andrew Santino]

You're one of my favorite people.

[Bobby Lee]

So anyway. And I don't want to be mean and I don't know. Let me just throw it out there.

[Andrew Santino]

Say it.

[Bobby Lee]

Something happened. Number one, right? This part, this hiking trail goes to the top of this mountain, right? And what I usually do is I turn around back. So I'm just like. Because I don't know what's on the other side. You ever done that before?

[Andrew Santino]

I usually try to finish it, but I see. I map it out first.

[Bobby Lee]

But when you're on the top of the mountain. You look down, you don't know where it leads.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, then I'm not doing it right.

[Bobby Lee]

But this time I went, you know what? I'm gonna go where it leads. Mistake.

[Andrew Santino]

Where'd you end up?

[Bobby Lee]

Miles.

[Andrew Santino]

Miles.

[Bobby Lee]

Miles away. I ended up in a residential area.

[Andrew Santino]

But you were by yourself.

[Bobby Lee]

By myself.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't do that. I told you not to.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And that, like it's. And that light was going, you know, I mean. Right. But thankfully there was a lime scooter. Yeah. I line back to my car.

[Andrew Santino]

I was gonna say you walked on the other side of the hill and you ended up at the whites only Arkansas land.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And there was a lady, and I don't want to make fun of her, and I'm not trying to make fun of her. I just was confused by it. There was a lady in the beginning of the trail, like literally right when you start going up, and she was like on a tick tock. And she's like, yeah. And she was a very heavyset. Can it. Can I just let me finish it and then we'll cut it out. All right. And she goes, hey, guys. So I'm doing it hiking, you know, I mean, doing the exercise. Right. And in my heart I was like, oh, good for you. This is great. Right. So I start walking up, Right. At no point, when it turned around.

[Andrew Santino]

The medevac helicopter comes in.

[Bobby Lee]

So there's two things.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Number one, it was for show.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, no, maybe she. Maybe she's just taking it slow.

[Bobby Lee]

Or number two, she had already gone to the limit.

[Andrew Santino]

At the start. She's like, hey, I got there. They say half of the journey is getting to the gym.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But I was concerned for. I was like, oh, where is she? It was out of concern. Wasn't trying to make fun of that story, what I just said.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it was.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it wasn't.

[Andrew Santino]

There was a guy that was running on the hike the other day who had on a full sweatsuit. 87 degrees. That blows my mind. Why do people do this? Yeah, I'm like, dude, you're gonna pass out. What wrestlers? He's not in high school. This guy's late 30s. He was like a man who was running on the trail dripping in sweat. And I was like, such a weird game, dude, because you're asking for. For dehydration and then overheating, dude. Because I told you this story. My buddy ep's friend, they were hiking and he had to get medevaced out. His lung collapsed because he doesn't really hike Often. And he was like, I'll go hike. He smokes weed all day.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

They had a medevac him out.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

His lung collapsed.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but there are benches. You can just rest.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell him that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, the amount of people that I used to. When I used to live by Runyon and I would go hike that every day.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The amount of people I saw get medevaced out of there, it was at least once a month.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

They'd have to bring. Because someone would get way up on the. On the. You know, on the hard side, on the other side of the park.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And they'd be stuck and maybe panic or not be able to breathe.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's. Those are some steep hills.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, dude, it's. And it's a nightmare when you do the Hollywood sign. It's like five miles.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I can't do that.

[Andrew Santino]

It's high.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a long way to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Also, in terms of fashion, Can I just. Trailing fashion. Enough white people wearing the rice patty hats.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, only you can wear it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm just saying they have these gigantic Saigon.

[Andrew Santino]

Take off that baseball hat. That's ours.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not us.

[Andrew Santino]

That's ours.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

Baseball is born in America. Those are our hats. Okay, take it off. If I can wear rice hats.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, you can wear rice hats. That's my bad, dude. My bad. You can wear the rice hats.

[Andrew Santino]

Which race of hats can I wear? I can wear a rice paddy hat.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I wear.

[Bobby Lee]

But it's like, how about this? What if I wear one of those, like, armor, you know? I mean, like a knight's helmet.

[Andrew Santino]

That's rad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But, like, would that offend you if I wore a knight's helmet?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Pretty uncomfortable.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Okay, so I can wear that. You can wear the rice batty.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

What's another white thing? I could wear one of those, you know, at. In London, the. The big. You know, the black little puffy hat. The Royal Guard. Royal Guard hat. I'm wearing one of those.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're okay with that?

[Andrew Santino]

I think you should wear that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Could I wear it like an Abe Lincoln top hat?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You're white.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't forget.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what. By the way, all the. Our people in Arkansas should be wearing top hats.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Just to go, oh, so take your clothes off. China made those.

[Andrew Santino]

China made those? Yeah, take your clothes off. China made those.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. In fact, that's what I want to Do I want to be an Asian inspector over there?

[Andrew Santino]

You want. By the way.

[Bobby Lee]

And I'm going to look at every made in China thing, you know what I mean? And I'm going to take it out of your house.

[Andrew Santino]

But you're Korean.

[Bobby Lee]

I could lie. They're not going to know the difference.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm telling you, McGon, if you were.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, never seen an Asian, like, with the premise before. Yeah, and I told you I was Chinese, you wouldn't believe me.

[Andrew Santino]

100. Okay, zoom in. Korean inventions are all the beauty products, by the way. I hear this all the time from, dude, my sister, my wife, every girl in my life goes Korea. You got to get me beauty shit if you go over there. Because it's the best in the world.

[Bobby Lee]

In the world.

[Andrew Santino]

Beverages, fans. You guys love those little hand fans.

[Bobby Lee]

Asian ginseng we created. That's. That's hard to believe, but yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Dried food, snacks.

[Bobby Lee]

I believe you zoom in because my eyes are blur. Blur.

[Andrew Santino]

Soju Love Soju Robotics in general, huh?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Cacao Friends.

[Andrew Santino]

That's just Black Friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what they call them.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Friends is a lineup of adorable characters that prominently features a little line. See, this is. This is. Everybody trump on trying to jump on the, like, the Labubu trend. You know what that is, don't you?

[Bobby Lee]

Of course I do. I have some.

[Andrew Santino]

You have a Labubu?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I bought some.

[Andrew Santino]

How much? Are those expensive?

[Bobby Lee]

The one I got.

[Andrew Santino]

Are they really? Yeah, I don't. I've just seen them. $5,000.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, for that one.

[Andrew Santino]

And you put it on your. You. What do you do with it in a drawer? It doesn't go anywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

I have Cabbage Patch Kids. I do. I collect, like, one of everything.

[Andrew Santino]

But I see people. Girls put this on their purse, right? That's the gig.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So the per. Some of these purses aren't even $5,000, and they're putting a $5,000 accessory on the purse. It's a fad.

[Bobby Lee]

Like Beanie Babies. One day it's gonna go away, and no one's gonna give a shit.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me tell you something.

[Bobby Lee]

My mom fought people to get a Cabbage Patch kids in the 80. Fought people eat my. She did all that Shopify. You know what, Andrew? We wouldn't have an online business without Shopify. I'll tell you that right now. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

We've been using them for a long time right now. And Cha ching, cha Ching. Shopify does get it done. No matter how big, no matter how small your business is. No Matter what you're selling, I don't really care if you're making, you know, bouncy balls made out of old skin like you used to collect.

[Bobby Lee]

I still make them.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you do?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I've sold two already.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, someone's got to buy it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

At Shopify. Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in store and online operations across up to a thousand locations.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient. Endless aisle ship to customers, buy online, pick up in store. All made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close the sale every time.

[Andrew Santino]

And let's face it, acquiring new customers can be very expensive. And with Shopify POS you can keep shop shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first party data that give marketing teams a competitive edge. In fact, it's proven based on a report from EY businesses on Shopify POS see real results like 22% better. Total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent an to 8.9% uplift in sales on average relative to the market set surveyed.

[Bobby Lee]

Turn those what ifs into why not and keep giving those big dreams the best shot with Shopify.

[Andrew Santino]

Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com.

[Bobby Lee]

Bad friends go to shopify.com/bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Shopify.com/bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Zoc Dog Zo. Oh, what happened? I don't know. You fell again.

[Andrew Santino]

I fell again. But where do I go?

[Bobby Lee]

Zoc Doc, you know what? You know what it is?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Andrew.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that sounds. But how many doctors are on there? Like a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Hundreds of Thousands.

[Andrew Santino]

More than 100,000 doctors are on there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, across every spectrum.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, but here's the other problem. They're probably located nowhere near me.

[Bobby Lee]

They're always around you.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Do they take my insurance?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they do.

[Andrew Santino]

And are they good fit for whatever medical need I might have?

[Bobby Lee]

What's your foot like?

[Andrew Santino]

It hurts.

[Bobby Lee]

Taken care of from Zakda. Eye pain.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, do they have patient reviews? If I go on Zoc document, I know if somebody else was on there that went to a doctor.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Dude, you read it like you would read like you know, a restaurant or whatnot.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, well tell me there's no way to instantly book an appointment. I mean, is there a way that I get a booking within like you.

[Bobby Lee]

Know, 24 hours, but 24 to 72 hours if you want to know the specifics.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

And you could even score on same day appointments too. Oh, yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. All right. Well, I should stop putting off this broken neck and weird floppy foot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I pain.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com bad friends to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Sock Doc. Z o c d o c.com bad.

[Andrew Santino]

Friends zocdoc.com bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Jack Daniels is proudly served in fine establishments, questionable joints and everywhere in between. So no matter where you go in every bar, you'll always know someone by name.

[Andrew Santino]

Jack. Jack and Coke shot at Jack.

[Bobby Lee]

Jack Daniels, please.

[Andrew Santino]

Right away.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what makes Jack Jack. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org Jack Daniels and old number seven are registered trademarks. Copyright 2025 Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey 40.

[Andrew Santino]

Alcohol by volume 80 proof 7200. But here's the joke. It is a fad. But the guy who invented it, you saw that, right? We talked about it on the show. Maybe billion he sold. He sold his company for like $22 billion. Look up Labubu, owner, 22 billion. It's. He has like a bunch of other companies, but I think he just got priced at 22 billion or something. Labubu Wang Ning, hilarious. CEO of Pop Mart. The owner associated with Viral Labubu Toys, whose company's success has significantly contributed to his estimated net worth of over $22 billion. This motherfucker selling bullshit.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's not bullshit.

[Andrew Santino]

It's bullshit.

[Bobby Lee]

It is.

[Andrew Santino]

It's fucking bullshit.

[Bobby Lee]

But don't you wish you created it?

[Andrew Santino]

Give me a picture of Wang Ning. He went from 8 billion to 22 billion. So it's all Abubu shit. Give me Wang Ning. Everybody. Wang Ning. Tonight it's Wang Ning. Idiot. Ning. N I N G. Wang Ning. There's the Wang dog.

[Bobby Lee]

There's the Wang dog. Look at him. I am so rich now.

[Andrew Santino]

God. What is he, 22 years old? He looks like a kid.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What is he going to do with the 22 billion?

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

There is nothing you can do with it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes you can.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no. I'm serious though. I'm serious with this. It's so much money. He's 38. There's nothing he can do with it. It's too much. It. It will never. He's got. If he had 8 billion last year, he already had everything. He ever needed. What the fuck are you gonna do?

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

I am. I am. I'm. I'm a little anxious to go home because I'm gonna be spending. Dude, it's one. This is one of those points in my life where I really want to see my parents because I. I miss them a lot and I don't see them as much and they're getting older, but I'm gonna be spending too much time at home. Do you know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Like, when, how long?

[Andrew Santino]

It's. Well, it's a whole week, and then I come back for three days, then I leave, then I come back for three days, then I leave, and I come back for another week.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good.

[Andrew Santino]

I need it. I need it.

[Bobby Lee]

I need it.

[Andrew Santino]

I need the family thing. But also, I can hardly hear my dad and I fighting. Like, I can already hear it. Like the last time we got step or real. My stepdad. My. My dad, he's the best. Yeah. You love him.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This. This is my. This is the last time we got into, like, a stupid fight. Like, we'll just start getting into stupid fights because he's retired, he's old. It's his house. He likes his. His way. We all like things our way.

[Bobby Lee]

Ooh, here we go. I want to know.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. This is so stupid. This made me laugh. My sister and I were dying laughing because he got so mad. We were gonna watch a movie and my sister went out to go get stoned and. Oh, no edibles. That's right. She took a bunch of edibles. And then she's like, she goes, make us popcorn. Oh, yeah, I'll make us popcorn. So I got downstairs, I get a bunch of snacks ready and all this stuff, and I make the popcorn and I hear my dad go, use the popcorn bowls. Okay? Since I was a kid, they've had the. From the 80s or the early 90s, they've had these wooden. Look up wooden popcorn. Popcorn bowl. I mean, it's. It's got to be like. That's the.

[Bobby Lee]

It's beautiful.

[Andrew Santino]

But. No, no, no, no, no. Do. From the 90s. Do 90s wooden popcorn. It's like, from that first one. Let me see the first one. Zoom in. That is. Got it. That is exactly what it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Beautiful. It's a salad bowl, right? Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, so listen, we've been using. That is exactly what it is. We've been using these since I was a fucking kid, okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And my dad. It's for popcorn. So then I don't know if I'm a little stoned or a little buzzed or whatever, but I grab just a different bowl and I put the popcorn. And he's like, don't put it in there. That's not the popcorn bowl. But I was like, I already put it in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he's like, don't. That's not the fucking popcorn bowl. I go, it's a bowl. You put popcorn. Now it is a popcorn bowl.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he's fighting with. My sister's losing her mind. Laughing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'm fucking pissed. So I was just like, oh, you want in the fucking. So I dump it in the other one. I was like, well, then you're washing. Wait, wait.

[Bobby Lee]

Why can't you just use the popcorn bowl?

[Andrew Santino]

That's what I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, use it because you know that he's going to get mad about it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, you don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Only did it for spite.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you did it. I want to get. I want to get them riled up.

[Andrew Santino]

I grabbed the first bowl that I saw.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know where the popcorn bowls are?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't actually. That is true.

[Bobby Lee]

Or the next go in and. No, no, yeah, yeah, Tomorrow when you.

[Andrew Santino]

Go, no, I don't know where they are.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, go. Excuse me, where's the popcorn bowls?

[Andrew Santino]

And so then. Okay, so then, then he comes out to my house in la. Comes out the daddy's house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Big Andrew's house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he says, well, why is that there about something innocuous?

[Bobby Lee]

Was it?

[Andrew Santino]

And it was. I don't. I don't even remember. It was like a matcha fucking thing that she uses or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Who she?

[Andrew Santino]

My wife.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

A matcha maker, whatever. And then he's like, well, why is that there? And I said, when you get your house, you can put it wherever the fuck you want, but in my house, that's where I like it. And you know what? He goes, fair enough. And then he walked outside and I was like, that's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, what is wrong with you?

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, just rage, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Oh, God. Because he's getting older, right? Then you go, excuse me, I'll put the matcha thing in the right matcha place.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's my house.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, but it's probably left just in a random place, right?

[Andrew Santino]

You. Have you been to my house? Is anything left in a random place?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's very, like, showroomy.

[Andrew Santino]

It's exactly where it's supposed to be.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So that thing goes there because that's where it goes for us.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Why is it so clean?

[Andrew Santino]

Because in case I have people come over, I like to keep a clean place. No, you know why I like to keep a clean place? Because I earned it. Because I respect the things that took me a long time to get. Yeah, I don't understand the idea of not respecting something you worked hard to receive.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How about this? I've never had anything given to me, so anything I've got, I respect. Maybe you should, too.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I respect what I have, but I kind of like making people think that I'm kind of a hoarder.

[Andrew Santino]

You are kind of a hoarder.

[Bobby Lee]

I am.

[Andrew Santino]

You sent me the video of the two machines talking to each other. It made me laugh.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you see that?

[Andrew Santino]

The two robots. Oh, it's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. No, but you think I was lying.

[Andrew Santino]

You keep a clean place, too, by the way. People at home pretend this game that he plays, like, I'm this neat freak. You're a neat freak. Your kitchen and shit is all organized. Everything's organized.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because of Honey, Kalala's sister, Jules's mom.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, so she lives there. I have someone clean the house too, so that's why it's clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Get a Filipino. Live with a Filipino. They're the best.

[Andrew Santino]

She does these things with my underwear. Link right here to get a Filipino.

[Bobby Lee]

She does things with my underwear. I don't even know how. My underwear are these tiny squares. She folds them in a way. They're like a graham cracker she makes. She takes all the air out. I don't know how she does it. It's magic. We can cram 300 of them in a tiny drawer like this, perfectly placed.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait. She does your laundry?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. She does everything.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, see? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't have she does everything.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't have someone do my laundry. That's creepy to me.

[Bobby Lee]

I just don't know where things are. That's the only problem. You know, where's the paprika?

[Andrew Santino]

And that's why you occasionally use the wrong popcorn bowl, because you don't know where they are.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's right. That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

But that is my dad. We're gonna get into stupid, small, small fights. We'll get into small fights all the time. Like, look, I'll stay up one night too late burning a bonfire in the backyard with my sister. 100% not cool, dude. No, no. What's wrong with. Bonfires are fucking Midwest.

[Bobby Lee]

You start it at night, take it out.

[Andrew Santino]

What does that mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Put it out, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I do. Put it out. No, I'M saying he'll come down that. You didn't even hear me out.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, sorry. I know. That's right. I did it. I'm sorry. My bad.

[Andrew Santino]

He'll come down the next morning and be like, you use so much wood. And I'm like, what the. Yeah, we were burning fire all night long.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He'll go, well, now I gotta get a whole new bushel. And I'm like, well, I'll get you one. He doesn't get them, they get delivered. Yeah, dude, it's always a thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Where do you get bushels? Home Depot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Home Depot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But you. They'll deliver them to your house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You know what I. So what. Do you know what I realized? I don't know if I said this but. Or not, but my air conditioning and my heater, all, all winter the heater didn't work. And you don't call, you just freeze. You don't call, but freeze.

[Andrew Santino]

You call.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I freeze.

[Andrew Santino]

Call.

[Bobby Lee]

It was like so cold, but he had 15 layers of blankets.

[Andrew Santino]

Shivering, sweating.

[Bobby Lee]

And then for the summer, right? No, no, no, no air conditioning.

[Andrew Santino]

Good.

[Bobby Lee]

You took the 50 degrees. Nothing would come out. So one day I. I finally called.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's time.

[Bobby Lee]

Guy comes over, he goes, bro, look. And he. This, he had blue Chew. No, no, this was the color of the filter.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't know you had to switch out the filter.

[Andrew Santino]

God, dude, do you know you just.

[Bobby Lee]

Have to switch it out and then now everything works perfectly.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you ever changed the filter of your water system at the houses? No, that's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

But I don't drink that kind of water.

[Andrew Santino]

You drink tap water?

[Bobby Lee]

I call it Aaron Brockvich water. I don't drink it.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to get polluted. Yeah, yeah. I drink bottled water every time.

[Andrew Santino]

That's. That's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

That's a waste. Drink out of the tap. The tap water in LA is great.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, dude, we have some.

[Andrew Santino]

Of the best tap water in the country. It's actually underrated. Our. Our water is tested about 300 locations on the sea for over 200 different locations. Water delivered to you meets or excel state and federal drinking water standards. LA water is better than most states get water.

[Bobby Lee]

But is it better than bottled water?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, actually, probably because of the fucking. This is microplastics and all the bullshit that's in here. This is terrible for you. Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

What about glass?

[Andrew Santino]

Glass is king. Not anymore. They just did a bunch of new testing to find out that glass Also has fucked up shit in it now. So we can't win. So you know what you do? You don't drink water. We're not. That's it. At bad friends. We don't drink water.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No more.

[Bobby Lee]

Do we already talk about the hurtling spacecraft coming towards we did last time, right?

[Andrew Santino]

No. What are you talking about? Oh, it's coming in December.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's coming.

[Andrew Santino]

We got a new. We got something coming to kill us.

[Bobby Lee]

No. So a harvest Harvard scientist.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't believe him already.

[Bobby Lee]

Harvard.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't believe him.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. A Harvard scientist discovered something. He doesn't think it's a comet because there's no trail. I don't think.

[Andrew Santino]

A Harvard scientist and Professor Avi Loeb. Avi Loeb has suggested using the existed NASA Juno spacecraft to intercept and study Interstellar Object 3I Atlas, which he. He what persists could be alien technology, not just a natural comet. This proposal stems from his research for similar objects like Amomara.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that was in 2017. I remember Omara.

[Andrew Santino]

So what was that?

[Bobby Lee]

It's hiding behind the sun where he parallels. No. Why are you laughing? That's true. The trajectory is behind the sun, so we can't see it. But we go around the sun. You go around it. Not me, okay? I stay right behind it.

[Andrew Santino]

He is right. He's not. Bobby stays right.

[Bobby Lee]

I stay right behind us. Okay? So yeah, it's coming. And that's so funny. It's four miles wide or seven miles wide, something like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

It's huge.

[Andrew Santino]

Big.

[Bobby Lee]

And where do we hope it hits? It's not getting trapped in any planet's gravity as it goes through the Milky Way. It's just slowly coming by us. And it'll hit us around December. We'll be able to see.

[Andrew Santino]

Do they think they know where it's going to hit?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's just going to go right through the Milky Way. But it's going to pass Earth in December.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not going to hit us. No, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

It's gonna hit us. It's gonna. It's. It's not a comet, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

I hope it hits.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a. It's not a hit situation, Guy.

[Andrew Santino]

What if it's a bot?

[Bobby Lee]

It's a slow down situation. It's like what's up, dog? Situation, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

So you think this is them saying what's up, dog?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, dude. And you know, we watched signs last night, me and someone I was seeing. And you know, there's two types of people in the world, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

What are they?

[Bobby Lee]

The type that Sees stars in the light.

[Andrew Santino]

You got it.

[Bobby Lee]

There's two types of you. They see alien spacecraft in the skyline and they believe they have hope.

[Andrew Santino]

Swing away.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And the second one are naysayers that 50. 50 and deep down, they're instilled with fear. And I'm hope. I'm number one.

[Andrew Santino]

What was it that killed the aliens? Water.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And guess what we just said don't drink water.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

We're the real aliens.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't believe this is true?

[Andrew Santino]

Of course. What do you mean? I think there's a thing. I don't think it's alien life form. I think they're so fast, they'd be here by now.

[Bobby Lee]

And see what. How big is. It's like four miles is seven miles or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Like maybe seven miles is so big. It's. It's between one and 20 kilometers. So they don't even know that's six miles.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's big.

[Andrew Santino]

Most recent upgrades to size closer to six miles. Six miles long. It's so long.

[Bobby Lee]

It's big.

[Andrew Santino]

But that's got to be. All the guys are on there then. Then their whole.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're the. Everyone's on there. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All the homies are on.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine if they left some guys off. Where are you guys going? Yeah, past Earth. Can I go?

[Bobby Lee]

But if they go, I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

If there's enough room. He said it was six miles long. I don't know if we have the room.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Just one guy they can't stand.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, Marcus. Marcus.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I heard you guys are gonna take off tomorrow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is there any room on the craft?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no, there's not enough room.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, there's 20 of us. It's pretty cozy in there.

[Andrew Santino]

I heard it was six miles long.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but you know what? The living space is, you know, size of this room.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I understand. I understand. I understand.

[Bobby Lee]

Bye.

[Andrew Santino]

Bye. By the way, they take off, they're like, thank God we left that fucking guy. I can't stand that fucking guy.

[Bobby Lee]

But what would happen if they go, Andrew, Bobby, big fan of bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, I hope that they go, we.

[Bobby Lee]

Want a start a podcast in our civilization. Will you come?

[Andrew Santino]

Great.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you come?

[Andrew Santino]

We got a guest on their podcast.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah. I have 4.5 million followers in our version of how are you? Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Ladies and gentlemen, would you go though our guest today say whatever they want. Totally unfiltered. We love these guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, you know what's so funny is I bet you if any sort of communication is getting through the airwaves into outer space, it's probably podcast, because there's so many of them that are being shot out into the world. This is probably what they're hearing. Yeah, and what a bummer. What a bummer that this is what they think of us.

[Bobby Lee]

And they're probably 20 million years from now. No, it doesn't get there right away. It takes time.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it takes a long time.

[Bobby Lee]

There's not 20 million years, but a long time.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I mean, they could be millions of light years away.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Depends on how far away they are. Yeah, but we'd be long dead by then. But notorious. Maybe in a universal.

[Andrew Santino]

Depends on if we hop on that craft.

[Bobby Lee]

I would go that.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby. Andrew. We came just for you two. You can't bring any of the bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

But if it.

[Andrew Santino]

What if they said it could just be you and me. No one we love, no one we know.

[Bobby Lee]

But we can never come back to Earth.

[Andrew Santino]

Never. No family, no friends. No.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you wouldn't go. I know you wouldn't go. Yeah. No, you would not go. You'd be so scared. I would go. I would go.

[Andrew Santino]

I would go just to protect you. What a story. They'd write books, books about us. They'd write movies about us. It'd be our real legacy. We wouldn't just be known as bad friends. We'd be known as the two guys that went to space on the seven mile craft and never came back.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

We'd be embedded. You know who'd be teaching about us in the future? Fifth grade teachers.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What's there, though? It would depend on what's there.

[Andrew Santino]

Doesn't matter. Let's find out.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I have to know. I don't have a list.

[Andrew Santino]

We get up on the craft right away. It's anal probes. We're like, what I thought.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we really like to do this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, it would have to be. Well, they have to have human women there.

[Andrew Santino]

My dad just called me. Hold on. Hey, we're doing the podcast right now. What's up? Just calling to check on you and find out when you're coming to town.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it Jeff?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Say hi to Jeff.

[Bobby Lee]

It's Bob. Hey, how are you? What's up with the popcorn bowls?

[Andrew Santino]

The popcorn balls? Well, they're special for popcorn only.

[Bobby Lee]

But why do you get so mad about it, Jeff? Well, because we have things in the.

[Andrew Santino]

House that are to be used for.

[Bobby Lee]

Certain things, and Andrew was, you know, being typical Andrew being against the grain and picking another bowl. Right against the right against the.

[Andrew Santino]

Great.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, babe. All right.

[Andrew Santino]

See you, Bobby. Take care. All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Bye, Jeff.

[Andrew Santino]

I love you. I'll see you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, babe. Okay, bye.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, bye.

[Andrew Santino]

He's so funny.

[Bobby Lee]

So we get a lot of submissions for different things, but we always get way more submissions after episodes air with a minute. So these are all late submissions, but this is Carlos replacement fans.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, let's see some of them. Yeah, we do want to see some.

[Bobby Lee]

Of these energy replacements.

[Andrew Santino]

This is charity. What a bad friends gang. My name is charity. I am 25, and I'm from Gaston, Oregon. Gaston's like 15. Second town. If you blinked, you probably already drove past it. We got like two bars, no gas stations, about a dozen crackheads out of a total population of 16. So that's where I'm from. Yeah. I'm a bit of a rarity out in these parts. You've probably never seen a Samoan girl under 6 2, 270, so I at least got that going for me.

[Bobby Lee]

Good.

[Andrew Santino]

I currently work in corporate finance and administrative assistance and I'm working to get certified as an independent travel booking agent on the side. So, yeah, kind of got the hustle going. Try to get out of this crapshoot town. Pause.

[Bobby Lee]

We got to get her out.

[Andrew Santino]

All I'm going to say. Don't get upset.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

This is a perfect, and I mean perfect replacement for your assistant.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Literally.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She does all the things.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Also all the travel booking.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what. That's what I'm fucking saying. But hey.

[Bobby Lee]

But my assistant's camping. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Is never not camping okay? This girl probably doesn't like camping.

[Bobby Lee]

Great.

[Andrew Santino]

She's awesome. We love her.

[Bobby Lee]

Got two good ones so far.

[Andrew Santino]

Back to back.

[Bobby Lee]

Deshawn.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey. Yeah, the way you said that. Deshawn. Just say desean.

[Bobby Lee]

Deshawn.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, not Deshawn. Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

What's going on? This is the submission for the replacement in the booth challenge or whatever you guys are doing over there.

[Andrew Santino]

Love this guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really? Now, I heard you guys were looking to replace someone, but one thing I did hear you guys say was you got a bunch of nines. Why get. Have a nine week and settle for an 11? Also, you said you had. You need some women to submit. I guarantee women in that. He thinks he's Michael Beep Jordan. He's got. But he's not. He's not Michael Beep Jordan. Michael Jeep. Yeah. Or Jeep I that up. What it made me Laugh because you want beep beep.

[Andrew Santino]

He thinks. You know what it is? He thinks he's Michael Jeep Jordan. He's Michael Beep Jordan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. They're good. Good, good.

[Andrew Santino]

I guarantee you he does like. Yeah, he seems like a nice guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, we like him.

[Andrew Santino]

We like a little aggressive.

[Bobby Lee]

He's not 11, though.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know why he says 11. I don't know what that means. Maybe it means he can go up to 11.

[Bobby Lee]

You have women in that building, but you know what you don't have isn't give a shot. How come we still not getting shot? Nobody want to give us a chance. Okay, first of all, he has a point. He has a point.

[Andrew Santino]

First of all. Yeah, yeah, Desean. Yeah, I do understand what he's saying.

[Bobby Lee]

I do. 1.

[Andrew Santino]

Perhaps we should have. We should some more color in the booth.

[Bobby Lee]

Diversity.

[Andrew Santino]

I think we need to call our commentator.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And that's not. That's a.

[Bobby Lee]

He would be funny.

[Andrew Santino]

He would.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, he would. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But he also.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we do guest. We could try guests.

[Andrew Santino]

We could try.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Also have people zoom in or face him. And if we want face to face interactions.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, maybe we zoom first. Yeah, I think that's probably a better zoom then guest. Yeah, yeah, this is Clarissa T. Love.

[Bobby Lee]

Love it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, she's pretty. Hey, Andrew. Hey, Bobby. Let me get this out of the way right now. The reason why I said Andrew instead of Bobby first is because his name starts with an A and Bobby starts with a B. So now that I got that out of the way, I just saw today's episode where you were. You guys were asking for a replacement for Fancy B since he's leaving for a few months. I would like to say that Andrew said that we have to be from Spain, which I'm not, but I am Spanish, as you can clearly tell from my accent, and I'm not from the area, but it's really easy for me to make it there. If you, if I get the. If I get picked, just if I get paid, let me know and I'm going to be there as soon as I can. Thank you. Pause us. It's. Shut it down. We've got the guy.

[Bobby Lee]

It's love at first sight.

[Andrew Santino]

Shut it down.

[Bobby Lee]

It's love at first sight.

[Andrew Santino]

The guy.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the guy. Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Find him.

[Bobby Lee]

Find him.

[Andrew Santino]

We've got the guy.

[Bobby Lee]

We got the guy.

[Andrew Santino]

He's fucking perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

He's perfect. He's a upgraded version of what we have.

[Andrew Santino]

It's amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now. Yeah, we're also Gonna find out for certain that this young man absolutely lives somewhere we cannot access.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he said you can drive and look at the. Let's just investigating. Can you zoom in at the greenery in the back? I'm really good at, like.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Bobby's good at figuring, you know, like geo mapping.

[Bobby Lee]

Geo mapping, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's so good at it.

[Andrew Santino]

Zoom in. All right. You know, that kind of foliage, is that recognized at all?

[Bobby Lee]

That's North Carolina.

[Andrew Santino]

That's North North Carolina.

[Bobby Lee]

No, north. Northern California.

[Andrew Santino]

Northern California.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Even better.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Truck right here, it looks like. Yeah, I can't see it. It's blurry.

[Andrew Santino]

And you know what's behind that truck is a Michael Jeep. Jordan is right behind me. I gotta tell you, I love this guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Love him.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm into this guy. Let's find out.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's try to get him, though.

[Andrew Santino]

I think he said he wants to be paid, which is fine. We'll pay him if I get picked. Oh, but we will pay him. We'll pay him for the day's work.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? I'm willing to pay out of my own pocket. 300 bucks.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll match it.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It just depends on her to get him here.

[Andrew Santino]

600. Depends on where he's coming from, too.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's be real. Let's send him a message.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, well, listen, we're excited for the future. We're happy for the prospects. Thank you guys for submitting. We'll get to some more submittals later. But. But Crusoe Tome. What? Carisso Tome. Tomoe. Honestly, whatever it is, Dog.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll come up with a nickname.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we will.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We'll see you soon.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll see you soon. And also, thank you for being a bad friend. D.