More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: "More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Bad Friends
• Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
• Guest: Lisa Gilroy
• Production: A 7EQUIS Production
• Release Date: March 31, 2025

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1. Introduction and Playful Banter

The episode kicks off with the quintessential Bad Friends humor, characterized by sharp, playful insults exchanged between Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, and guest Lisa Gilroy. Bobby initiates with, “[00:00] Bobby Lee: You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?” setting a comedic and irreverent tone for the episode. Andrew quickly follows, exacerbating the playful tension: “[00:03] Andrew Santino: White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.”

2. Guest Introduction and Light-Hearted Jabs

As the hosts welcome Lisa Gilroy, the conversation remains filled with humorous exchanges. Lisa jabs back, “[00:09] Lisa Gilroy: You two or something,” showcasing her quick wit and chemistry with the hosts. The trio continues to riff off each other, with Andrew apologizing for taking shots at previous guests: “[00:34] Andrew Santino: Oh, sorry. Was it Hillary Duff?”

3. Improv Character Creation and Creative Games

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to improvisational humor. Lisa demonstrates her creative prowess by crafting characters on the spot, prompting Bobby and Andrew to join in the fun. At “[01:31] Bobby Lee: Sure,” they collaboratively create vivid characters, such as “a Baker in the 1950s” and “a little tiny bus that only a shrimp can see,” highlighting their improvisational skills and comedic synergy.

4. Personal Anecdotes and Embarrassing Stories

The hosts and Lisa delve into personal stories, adding depth to the comedic facade. Lisa shares an embarrassing moment about her belly button hygiene: “[07:29] Lisa Gilroy: I stuck my finger in it and I did a scoop. It was like a scoop of soil.” This vulnerability juxtaposes the humor, allowing listeners to connect with the hosts on a more personal level.

5. “Friendship Championships” – A Competitive Game Segment

At “[17:13] Andrew Santino: Welcome, everyone, to the Friendship Championships,” the trio introduces a competitive game segment that tests their knowledge of each other’s quirks. Questions like “[17:31] Andrew Santino: Andrew once described your head as looking like what? A, a dead kid's head. B, a toilet covered in piss. Or C, a lemon head,” spark laughter and reveal the playful antagonism that defines their friendship.

6. Relationship and Dating Discussions

The conversation shifts towards relationships and dating, infused with humor and honest reflections. Lisa discusses red flags in potential partners, while Bobby and Andrew provide comedic takes on first-date scenarios. For instance, Lisa humorously recounts her attempt at a first kiss: “[39:03] Lisa Gilroy: And she said, don't ever do that again.”

7. Fart Humor and Improv Skits

True to the episode’s title, fart humor permeates the conversation. The hosts engage in various skits and jokes centered around flatulence, such as “[57:00] Lisa Gilroy: It's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

8. Closing Remarks and Farewells

As the episode nears its end, the hosts and Lisa continue their banter, eventually moving towards farewells. Lisa expresses her gratitude for being part of the show: “[62:24] Lisa Gilroy: Thank you for being a bad friend.” The conclusion maintains the episode’s humorous and light-hearted spirit, leaving listeners entertained.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Bobby Lee: “[00:00] You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?”
• Andrew Santino: “[00:03] White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.”
• Lisa Gilroy: “[07:29] I stuck my finger in it and I did a scoop. It was like a scoop of soil.”
• Andrew Santino: “[17:30] Andrew once described your head as looking like what? A, a dead kid's head. B, a toilet covered in piss. Or C, a lemon head.”
• Lisa Gilroy: “[39:03] And she said, don't ever do that again.”
• Andrew Santino: “[57:00] It's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”
• Lisa Gilroy: “[62:24] Thank you for being a bad friend.”

Key Discussions and Themes:

• Friendship Dynamics: The episode extensively explores the playful antagonism and deep camaraderie between the hosts and Lisa, underscoring the foundation of their "bad friends" relationship.

• Improvisation and Creativity: Through various improv exercises and character creations, the trio showcases their creative talents and ability to think on their feet, engaging listeners with spontaneous humor.

• Personal Vulnerability: Despite the comedic façade, personal stories and vulnerabilities, such as Lisa’s belly button story, add depth and relatability to the conversation.

• Humor in Relationships: The discussion on dating red flags and first-date scenarios blends humor with insightful observations, reflecting the hosts' experiences and comedic perspectives on modern relationships.

• Fart Humor: Aligning with the episode's title, fart jokes and related humor are a recurring theme, providing consistent laughs and maintaining the show's irreverent tone.

Insights and Conclusions:

"More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy" exemplifies the Bad Friends podcast's signature blend of humor, candid conversations, and playful interactions. The episode underscores the importance of camaraderie and the ability to laugh at oneself, fostering a sense of authenticity and connection with the audience. Through improvisational games and personal anecdotes, the hosts and their guest create an engaging and entertaining listening experience, reaffirming why Bad Friends remains a beloved show among its listeners.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[Andrew Santino]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You two or something.

[Andrew Santino]

We're bad friends.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I forgot that part.

[Andrew Santino]

And then did it start.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

This sucks already. And it's way too. I don't know who your last psychotic guest was, but.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't take shots at previous guests.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, sorry. Was it Hillary Duff?

[Bobby Lee]

It was.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah, it was Hillary Duff.

[Bobby Lee]

The Duffster.

[Lisa Gilroy]

The Duffer dude, like me. Yeah, it happened. What. What is your name?

[Andrew Santino]

Lisa Gilroy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Clap around. Clap the hands of the Lisa. Well, you're so talented. I. I'm enamored by you.

[Andrew Santino]

You're what?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Enamored. Is that. Is that the right word?

[Andrew Santino]

That's so nice, Bobby. I'm enamored by you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Good word.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Did I get that word wrong?

[Andrew Santino]

No, you got it right. It was beautiful.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't believe you make your guests sit in this chair full of fart.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Jack Black sat on that.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you fill it up with farts?

[Bobby Lee]

We did, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Jack Black.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Jack Black farts. It's our magical farts.

[Andrew Santino]

Does it get refilled all the time? Because it's pretty firm.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, never been refilled. We filled it up one time.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Is it not comfortable?

[Andrew Santino]

It's okay. I had a chair like this in my room when I was a little girl. When I was a little girl.

[Bobby Lee]

And now you're a big girl now?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm actually pretty big.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, I like that character. Can you make up a character on the spot? Is that how talented you are?

[Bobby Lee]

Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me. Give me a suggestion.

[Lisa Gilroy]

A Baker in the 1950s.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Did you see that, dude?

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. We should call Pixar or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Call Pixar.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you have.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What? Give me a character.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you call Pixar? Pixar?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, I can call Pixar.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

I'll give you a character.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

One of the cars from Cars, but it's broken. And it's a bus. But it's a. It's a. It's a little tiny bus that only a shrimp can see. Okay, Santino, this one's for Bobby, right? Hey, Santino, look at me. You can have a turn next. Awesome. Hey, Trips. That's really good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Pretty good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Give Andrew one. He's so good at this.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Yours is okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. A guy who's, like, middle aged, who's a podcaster, who lives in la.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Hey, what's up?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Back to the show.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. It's so good.

[Andrew Santino]

Awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. His tongue is out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm a psychic. Can I be add on to it or no? Yeah, I'm so sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's funny. Okay. You do. If you do that character, you do the character that's like the sidekick of the podcaster.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

And let's say. Wait, wait. I'll give you more, like, character stuff to color it out. So like, let's say you're. You're kind of mean and you're kind of stupid. Okay, go.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Welcome back to our show. Idiot. Guess.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And we had a guest. Yeah. Perfect.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Perfect. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Good.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so awesome.

[Lisa Gilroy]

He's confused. He didn't even know that there was a guest.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I got that. I thought you do.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, go, please.

[Bobby Lee]

Lisa, what company are you in again?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, what are you talking about? What improv group are you in?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I guess just right now I do Ascat and dinosaur.

[Bobby Lee]

Ascat and Dinosaur. Both ucb.

[Andrew Santino]

Are those not the two most embarrassing names of things you've ever heard? Yeah, I just heard them for the first time as I was saying.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Who's in Dinosaur?

[Andrew Santino]

Paul Scheer. Rob Huebel.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Rob, stop.

[Andrew Santino]

Jason McNe.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Enough said. Enough said. What? Do you like them?

[Andrew Santino]

What am I like them?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Do you like them?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I love them.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Jason Manzukas.

[Andrew Santino]

Jason Manzoukas. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So talented, you know. Can I tell you, is this ucb? Am I wrong? It is ucb.

[Andrew Santino]

It's. No. Our show is monthly at the Largo.

[Bobby Lee]

Largo.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Could I tell you a compliment about Jason Manzukich?

[Bobby Lee]

Sure.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I was on a sitcom called Animal Practice.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so good. Have you seen it?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Shut the up. Why do I. Do I bring up mixology?

[Bobby Lee]

I wish you would. It was my favorite show that I ever did.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. So there he is. There was a sitcom on NBC called and the star was the monkey.

[Bobby Lee]

He's on the right.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that the same monkey from Friends? Marcel.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Is that the same monkey from Friends?

[Bobby Lee]

It is.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Actually, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so look at the poster. Right? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Tyler Labine. Betsy Sodaro.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I love Betsy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, she's great.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's the girl on the front left?

[Andrew Santino]

Tyla La Bean. He just said Tyra La Bean.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I actually love Tyler.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So the show got canceled and it was the day.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I get a duh? Duh.

[Andrew Santino]

And can I get a wolf?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. I was thinking, because it's Animal Practice.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I was going to Seth Meyers birthday party.

[Bobby Lee]

Name drop.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You know, Produce it.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Lisa Gilroy]

The Russo brothers, Joe and Anthony Russo.

[Bobby Lee]

Joe. Welcome to the Russo brothers pizza place. This is. No, we produce TV shows.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Endgame. What? After Engage, they did Captain America, Civil War. Right. Endgame. All those ones. Age of Neutrons. Everybody has a flop here and there. Oh, fuck you, dude. What have you done a movie that you can't even get off the ground, right? That we're not gonna fucking do.

[Bobby Lee]

We're gonna do it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You're all talk.

[Andrew Santino]

You wrote a movie for the gang to star in.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's a zombie movie. Yeah, and he had funding, so we're all gonna fly out. Not you, but I was gonna fly out to Spain.

[Bobby Lee]

I wasn't gonna do it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right? And then last minute, he's like, I lost. I lost funding. I'm like, no, Bobby, why didn't you just fund it? I don't believe in the project. I don't believe in the project, Gilroy.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, why are you gonna star in it then?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Anyway, can I finish this? I was going to the. Seth.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, you have a comp.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right. And then. And then. So I was walking down Sunset from the store, and then behind me, Jason Mount Juice just walked by me. Then he looked at me and he paused. He gave me a side hug, and he goes, I'm so sorry about your show. And I go, I didn't know him that well. And I thought, what a nice guy, you know? I mean, to be there for me in that moment. What are you thinking?

[Andrew Santino]

I was thinking, well, maybe he didn't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I was thinking he meant, I'm sorry that you're on the show.

[Andrew Santino]

He said, I'm sorry about your show. That's nice.

[Lisa Gilroy]

But it got canceled.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he didn't know it got canceled. He's saying, I'm sorry that you're on that show.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You think that's what it.

[Bobby Lee]

What? That's what I think. He was saying he saw a trailer, was like, dog, I'm sorry you're on that show.

[Andrew Santino]

And you are. You guys, like, feeling the puns that are flying around in the air?

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, I don't know what pun means.

[Andrew Santino]

You said he paused and said, sorry about your show. And then you say, he paused and said, sorry, dog, that your show got canceled.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we get it.

[Andrew Santino]

We're seeing so many animal things. It's kind of like the chemistry in here is electric. Are you guys feeling that? Yeah, exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

Get it.

[Andrew Santino]

We're having so much fun.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I've never seen your ankles before.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you still haven't.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm wearing red socks. Do you see them on the camera?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What is a body part that you don't like about yourself?

[Andrew Santino]

Belly button. Too deep.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Too deep? Yeah, way too deep.

[Andrew Santino]

I could get lost in there. Yeah, Mine's so deep, it goes out the back. Wow. And it's. It's like a spina bifida.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow. Wow. It's very deep.

[Bobby Lee]

What about you? What's a body part you don't like?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Can I tell you? I have a story about my belly button?

[Bobby Lee]

You can't take the one that she just said. That's impossible.

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, it's just a story. It has something to do with that. I don't like my belly button. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something so I literally, for 20 years, never cleaned it. My belly button.

[Bobby Lee]

Thanks for coming by, Lisa.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I was with a girl. It was so embarrassing. We're in bed and she goes, why is your belly button black? I go, what do you mean? She goes, I mean, when I look at it, it's like, just like a black dot. Well, I go, I've never looked in it. And she said, is it dirty? So I stuck my finger in it and I did a scoop. It was like a scoop of soil. It was so embarrassing. And she was like, I'm going to go home or something like that. She went home.

[Bobby Lee]

If you just grew something in there would be so cute.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. What? Plant a little seed, like a tomato or a tomato plant. Yeah. Anyway. And now I clean it religiously.

[Andrew Santino]

So it was dirt in there from. You were flopping around in the mud?

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, it's 20 years of not cleaning it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but what would get in there? What dirt has access to your belly?

[Bobby Lee]

You're telling me you're not rolling down the hill? Sometimes you're just rolling down Frolic, lady.

[Andrew Santino]

I do, but I usually have a T shirt on.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, well, I do it shirtless.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, shirtless.

[Andrew Santino]

And you get dirt and debris in there.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Is there a body part you don't like about yourself?

[Bobby Lee]

I asked you first, but yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, I. I'll tell you mine.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it?

[Lisa Gilroy]

My testicles. And I'll tell you why.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the wrong color by Lisa.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's the. It's the wrong color.

[Andrew Santino]

It. Oh, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no, no, no. They get lonely, so they morphed into one. They've joined each other.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You've heard the term two peas in a podcast.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's what my nuts do.

[Andrew Santino]

And the pot is the dick and the balls are inside.

[Bobby Lee]

You got it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm scared for you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Anyway, Animal Hospital. Animal Practice.

[Andrew Santino]

Animal Practice, yeah. Sorry. I'm the idiot.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah. It would have been a great callback, though.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Thanks. I'll try again later.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah. Try to use another Animal Practice reference. But my point is that it's a too dark of a purple. You've seen it?

[Bobby Lee]

I. I have.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's way too dark.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's. It's very.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm thinking about going. Get him bleached.

[Bobby Lee]

No, leave it as it is.

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, no, I had to bleach it.

[Andrew Santino]

Purple color is probably coming from blood inside your body, which is normal, right?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's actually not. It's not normal. Your testicles should not be a dark purple. Dramatically different color, like curdled blood.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It shouldn't look like that.

[Andrew Santino]

You know. You know if you, like, squeeze your fingertip and it turns purple.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it like that?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Exactly. And go.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you know?

[Lisa Gilroy]

And there's a ring, a purple ring around my. The actual shaft.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, let's move on.

[Andrew Santino]

That's ringworm, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You gotta get to animal Hospital practice.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, who cares about show?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know. I know. Exactly. You've never. Have you been on a sitcom?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Touche.

[Bobby Lee]

You're on a show right now. It's not a sitcom, but you're on a television show.

[Andrew Santino]

I am.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What's the show called?

[Bobby Lee]

You are. What the. You're on Interior Chinatown.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, but that's not. I'm not. That's not right now. I mean, I didn't. That's on the.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, you're on that show. Series regular.

[Andrew Santino]

So when you're streaming, you're just on something forever. So if Jennifer Aniston was here, you'd be like, you're on a show right now, right? Friends?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, she's on a show. She actually is on a show right now. It's on Apple.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Good morning.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

What are you talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, if you're on a show, you're on a show. Is this.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So you've been on a show before?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

The show on the air right now.

[Andrew Santino]

It's on Hulu, which means it's going to be there for a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. So you're on the show. Until they take it down, you're on the show.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, okay. I didn't know. They told me I was off the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you got kicked off?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Nobody would be real. Is that really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, I think it's done. I think it's a. It's a limited series, so it's over.

[Lisa Gilroy]

They did say you got fired. It's just the whole show's done.

[Andrew Santino]

Feels like I got fired, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. If you don't have a job, it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Does feel like you got in our animated show. She should do a voice.

[Bobby Lee]

We already talked about it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You're having an animated show.

[Bobby Lee]

None of your business. Please. All right.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Please.

[Andrew Santino]

Or should I say please?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow. You want the last one?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I love that one.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's a really good one.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What character can that be?

[Bobby Lee]

She's a lady who is a mailman. Mail carrier. A mail carrier. Thank you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Why did you do stand up?

[Andrew Santino]

Sometimes a little.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. Do you go on the road ever?

[Andrew Santino]

I've been on the road before, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. As a headline or a feature?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I'm just kidding. I was saying, like, I've been on the road like I. In a car.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. No, I don't like tour doing stand up. I just do sometimes stand up around here in the little different theaters like UCB and Largo and Dynasty and stuff.

[Lisa Gilroy]

But if we, like, if we had a show, hypothetically.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And goes, hey, Lisa, do you want to do 15 minutes? Could you do it?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I could do it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. That'd be fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she could.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, she could. Gonna do it in this voice, please. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to do Love is Blind with your audience, and I want to do it in this voice, and I want to have. I want to be in a garbage bag the whole time with a microphone.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Have you always been like this? As a kid even?

[Andrew Santino]

No, as a kid, I was an accountant. I was very serious.

[Lisa Gilroy]

When did this blossom?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's just sweet little thing to say. When did what Blossom show?

[Bobby Lee]

The TV show Blossom. When was that on the air?

[Andrew Santino]

That was such an impact on me. I collected hats. Like how she had those hats.

[Bobby Lee]

She was so rad.

[Andrew Santino]

She's so cool.

[Bobby Lee]

I remember thinking about. I was like, that girl's like the coolest chick on tv.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What's her name again?

[Andrew Santino]

Blossom.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

When did your comedy instinct kick in?

[Bobby Lee]

I guess Mayim Bialik.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Isn't she a fucking. Isn't she like, a NASA level genius?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Isn't that so cool?

[Andrew Santino]

It's pronounced NASA, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

NASA. NASA level genius.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She really is. She's a neuroscientist.

[Bobby Lee]

She's a STEM advocate.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you believe.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what's so funny? We don't even know what that means.

[Andrew Santino]

STEM, science, technology, engineering, math.

[Bobby Lee]

Jinx. 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 9, 10.

[Andrew Santino]

11, 12, 13, 14, 15. Your sisters don't die in a crash.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me call my sister real fast.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Lisa.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I guess it's always been there, your comedy.

[Andrew Santino]

When did your comedy instinct arrive?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, fuck you.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, well, I want to know your.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Fucking arrogant way about things that you do.

[Andrew Santino]

Really, Bobby?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Why? Why? I'm sorry, I have an accident.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So be careful driving the roads tonight. I love you.

[Andrew Santino]

See, that's interesting because you technically won the jinx battle, but because I said something bad, you thought you lost it.

[Bobby Lee]

When you go to 15 and does jinx your for your next akin s, that is what happens when you go to 15. I don't know, Canada might be different than the States, but here it is.

[Lisa Gilroy]

If you go to oh Canada, I for remember.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You have to remember that's where you're from.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Canada.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Your dreams are gonna die. Your people are weak.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That was right. I made that up.

[Bobby Lee]

We love Canadians.

[Lisa Gilroy]

They're the best.

[Bobby Lee]

They just beat us in hockey.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What a game. Did you watch that? Do you Four nations was tight.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Toronto or Vancouver.

[Andrew Santino]

Are those my options from where I get to be from?

[Lisa Gilroy]

No. Where are you from?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm from Edmonton, Alberta.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Edward. Edmonton. We talked about that earlier.

[Bobby Lee]

We did?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Are your parents oil people? Don't bring it up.

[Bobby Lee]

We're not allowed to.

[Andrew Santino]

My dad is an oil monster.

[Bobby Lee]

Lisa, when are you going to come back and visit me?

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly. I'm slamming the door, dad. I'm locking it. He just goes door.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

How's la?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Sounds mean, but he's very good. Nice oil monster.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You're the best at that. Thank you. Yeah, see, I'm not allowed to ask these questions.

[Bobby Lee]

What the. I didn't say you weren't off. Oh, that's Canadian. See?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, that was Canadian.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Canadian.

[Andrew Santino]

And you're wearing a toque as well, which is.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Did you start your career in Canada or here? La.

[Bobby Lee]

Love the word toque.

[Andrew Santino]

Tuke is an infinitely better word than beanie took you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's what I use it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's your cousin.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. You took.

[Bobby Lee]

You have a different word for balaclavas.

[Andrew Santino]

Baklava.

[Bobby Lee]

Love you like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's a Greek dessert. Anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

And we're back to manzuka.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, right back.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah. So did you start there or did you start in la?

[Andrew Santino]

Started in Edmonton. I was doing improv there.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

And I was a drama teacher.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Would you meet her husband in Edmonton? In Edmonton. She usually moved out here together.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Children?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Except for these two.

[Bobby Lee]

Take me home, mommy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Do you Want them?

[Andrew Santino]

I actually feel a little like, yeah, you guys are two little rascals. It's like I've spent time with each of you individually, and now you're together and you might gang up on me, but I don't sense it happening. I think I could create a wedge in between.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Can I say something?

[Bobby Lee]

I think we've created such a nice environment for you to come to do.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Not only that, and I find it to be. I find Lisa Gilroy. I find that sentiment to be rude.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I want to tell you because it's something you said the last time.

[Bobby Lee]

Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's gang up on her right now.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, I want to gang up. The last time you said. You said to me, you go, I thought you were going to be crazy. But you're like, super nice and sweet. It's a thing that you assume that rattles my mind.

[Andrew Santino]

First of all, I didn't think about me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know. She said that about you. Both of us.

[Bobby Lee]

She said. She goes, I thought you were going to be mean.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Mean. That's what it was.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. We're not mean.

[Bobby Lee]

We're nice.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

We're fucking nice.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. You took.

[Bobby Lee]

Hell, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, dude. You took. Motherfucker.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, now me and Megan are going to gang up on you guys. Right? Megan, she's so skinny. She's invisible, but she's. She's hot as hell. And she's a neuroscientist.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

And Megan and I are sisters. And she. What? Girl, you're crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

What did she say?

[Lisa Gilroy]

What did she say?

[Andrew Santino]

She said she has a crush on one of you. And she's not gonna say, oh, I already know.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's your. That's your way of saying that he's handsome?

[Bobby Lee]

If it's Carlos, I'm gonna be fuck you.

[Andrew Santino]

Megan. Megan told me not. I don't want to.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't want to, but she has an Asian fetish.

[Andrew Santino]

Cause any problems, you know?

[Lisa Gilroy]

You think she has an Asian fetish? Your imaginary friend?

[Andrew Santino]

Let me ask her. You can't say that.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, and you shouldn't say that.

[Bobby Lee]

You should not.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, Megan. Anyway, let's play a game. Shut up, weird eyes. That's what you said about me.

[Bobby Lee]

Move on.

[Andrew Santino]

That's actually exactly what you said.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you guys have some sort of horn sound or something you can play?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, God.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We can do it ourselves. We do them all the time. Ready?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Which one do you like? I'll go first.

[Bobby Lee]

Go.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. Welcome, everyone, to the Friendship Championships. Yeah. I have Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino. And we are going to absolutely test them on years of friendship. Now, I've spoken to the boys ahead of time, and I've gotten their answers to these questions. It's a bit of a newlywed. All right, first question is for you, Bobby.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Andrew once described your head as looking like what? A, a dead kid's head. B, a toilet covered in piss.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Or C, a lemon head.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Lemon head.

[Bobby Lee]

Your whole head?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Looks like. Like, you know, the lemon head guy. That's what you look.

[Andrew Santino]

Yay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Y. I know that. And the reason why he said lemon. Because of the yellow.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no. It's just the shape. It's just the oval. It's.

[Lisa Gilroy]

The yellow had nothing to do with.

[Bobby Lee]

It.

[Andrew Santino]

Santinor.

[Lisa Gilroy]

There we go.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, Bobby once described your head as A, a penis, B, a boil, or C, a woman's head.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna go with B. Boil.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Your whole head looks like a fucking boil.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Awesome.

[Lisa Gilroy]

This is great. What a fun show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And for the final round. F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F. Final round. Final round. Woo. Woo. Okay, this question is for Bobby. If Santino grew up with you and was a little boy with you when you were both growing up as little boys, what would he do every day? This is an open ended question.

[Lisa Gilroy]

He would give me a wedgie.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's take a look at the board.

[Bobby Lee]

With you. I would have punched you as hard as I could every day.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Very close.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think that's true.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I think it's true and it's rude.

[Bobby Lee]

If we grew up together.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You already said you punch him as hard as you could. Every day.

[Bobby Lee]

We'd be. You know how close we would have been when we were little boys?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

If we were the same generation. I know. That's not taking a shot. I'm saying if we literally grew up in the same time, it would. We would have been such buddies. Troublemaker. Dude.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You know what I would do with you if you were my sister? What? Every day.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the show.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I would sneak into your room, I would clip hairs from you.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, God.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's not. No, it's not weird.

[Bobby Lee]

No. It's just. Yes. Well, definitely.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's not weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, I'm listening.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Hear him out. Hear him out.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And then I would find a squirrel skull.

[Andrew Santino]

A. A squirrel squale.

[Lisa Gilroy]

A squirrel skull.

[Bobby Lee]

They're all over the place.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. In the woods. Right. And I would find the perfect one.

[Andrew Santino]

You could just make.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right. And what I would do is I Would make a. A demonic epitaph. Right. I would take this.

[Andrew Santino]

A hillbilly elegy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah. I would take this. Hairs. Right. Jam it in the squirrels. Your mind and their mouth. Part of the skull. Like in that part. Right. It'd be sticking out. I would take a stick. Right. I would probably put like frog warts.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I think that does something like frog skin. The warts.

[Bobby Lee]

Just the warts.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You'd see I was squirted on it. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right? And then I would get black candles.

[Bobby Lee]

Black candles, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I would put a circle and put this effort. Is that the right word? Epitaph?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Yes.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Effigy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. Effort. No. Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Effigy.

[Bobby Lee]

Sure.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right. And I would do demonic, like seances.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right. Whatever. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And it would haunt you. And I would be gleefully laughing. Anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

I love that. I always wanted a brother.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I would do with.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You, Bobby, if I were your brother?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I would be adopted to be. Be careful.

[Andrew Santino]

We could be halfs.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's true.

[Andrew Santino]

I would. I would. I would get a soccer ball and I would knock on your door and ask you if you wanted to kick it around in the backyard.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's nice.

[Andrew Santino]

And then I'd say, I'm getting bullied at school and you're the only one I trust. Thanks for spending this time with me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I take it back. Then I won't clip your hair as I'm making it.

[Bobby Lee]

Here comes a bully.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, Lee.

[Andrew Santino]

Stay away from my brother.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm sick of your dumb sister coming around the school acting all smart because she's in STEM.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, God. Bobby, this is my teacher, Mr. McKee.

[Lisa Gilroy]

She is dumb.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. You want to see my. I made a little thing.

[Bobby Lee]

What? What did you make?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, yeah. And maybe we could join the science.

[Bobby Lee]

Like an effigy or something.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Like an effigy, dude. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Show it to me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Look at it. I keep it in my pocket all day.

[Bobby Lee]

Those black candles.

[Lisa Gilroy]

These are black candles, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Lisa Gilroy]

These are her hair.

[Bobby Lee]

You're awesome, Lee.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Do you feel sick at night?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Bingo. Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Ship station.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We have an business and without Shipstation, I think we'd be lost, my friend.

[Bobby Lee]

I would definitely be lost.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Life in general can be chaotic, Andrew. You know this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

As do I. Yeah. And if you're in charge of order fulfillment for an E Commerce business, you know, that's its own special kind of chaos. But with Shipstation, you can count on your day to day remaining calm.

[Bobby Lee]

Save hours. Save money all every single month by shipping from one login, automating repetitive tasks, finding the best rates among all the global carriers. Look, if you're somebody that has a small business of any kind, of any size and you're looking to sell stuff, distribute stuff, put stuff out there to the world, Shipstation has your back. You never need to upgrade. Shipstation grows with your business no matter how big it gets fastest, most affordable way to ship products is Shipstation. From your spot to your customers with discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express and USPS rates and up to 90% off FedEx rates.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Seamlessly integrate with services and selling channels you already use.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. And deliver a better customer experience with industry leading scalable features that help ensure accuracy, get shipments out the door faster and keep customers happy with automated tracking updates with your company's branding. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Go to ShipStation.com and use code Bad friends and sign up for your free trial. That shipstation.com code bad friends. Acorns.

[Bobby Lee]

They say money can't buy you happiness, but guess what? That's true. Money sure can make you feel a lot of other things, though.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, I feel so many good things about money.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you feel about money?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Safety, security.

[Bobby Lee]

Money makes people feel stressed, guilty, unsure, overwhelmed. Those are bad qualities. You don't want that because it feels shaky sometimes when you're not in control of your money, money can sometimes control you. And I'm telling you, you got to get control.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I'll tell you another thing. When I first started making a little money, I remember investing in some like mutual funds and stuff. And it makes you feel like, you know, it's going somewhere.

[Bobby Lee]

It's helping.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's helping.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. And that's why Acorns is very important.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it is. Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools to make it easy to start investing and saving for your future. You don't need to be an expert. By the way, Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. This is my. This is the biggest thing, by the way people think. Oh, you have to have a lot of money. No, no, no, no, no. Do not. You can start saving now. Start investing now. Start diversifying now. Acorns is here to help.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, when I first started, I put 500 bucks in. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And that helps. You don't need to be rich. Acorns let you get started with the spare money you've got right now. Even if all you have is spare change, no big deal. Ready to take control of your money? Sign up now and join the over 13 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 billion with Acorns.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Head to acorns.com bad friends or download the Acorns app to get started.

[Bobby Lee]

Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns Tier 3 compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] BadFriends My math teacher.

[Lisa Gilroy]

In the 8th grade literally did this. I said something like, I'm here or something. And he went, no way.

[Bobby Lee]

In front of the class.

[Lisa Gilroy]

The whole class laughed and I laughed too, nervously. In my mind I was like, I don't think that's right.

[Bobby Lee]

I think that's not okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you have one teacher that you like, loved as a kid that you were like, they're so. They're the coolest, nicest.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't have that experience.

[Bobby Lee]

Because you were a bad kid. Same. I was a. I had one teacher that hate. That loved me so much, but he also hated me where he's like, you're.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh yeah, okay. I had one of those. Was mine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we all have one that they're like, I wish you weren't such a disruption because you're such a. Like you're a fun light.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's so true. Mr. Batman. He. On the last day of school, he gave me a Blues Brothers poster because I loved. I was really into the Blues Brothers love. And I was so excited. And it was like at the beginning of the last class and he was like, you've been. You know, you're a crazy kid here. He's a poster. And then by the end of class he was like, I gotta take that poster away from you because you're talking. So it was like it became a punishment immediately. Couldn't even be a nice gift.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Do you like the Blues Brothers?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I was really into that. I was really into them when I was.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't. You didn't like the Blues Brothers?

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, I. So I did a move with Jim Belushi Iconic 4 months ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Animal Hospital, the movie.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, you're so good. I can't get why one by you. That's wonderful. Oh, wow. What a wonderful treatment. What a good experience. I like it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. I'm about to snap.

[Bobby Lee]

Why don't.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm about to go all apeshit crazy. Oh, no, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Ape like animal hospital.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Anyway, any. Him and Dan. Dan Aykroyd still tour with blues. I found that interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I didn't know that the other Belushi.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, no. Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

John Belushi's brother.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Jim Belushi in his own right was a star. He was on a sitcom called.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. I just didn't realize that. I guess he could sing as well as John.

[Lisa Gilroy]

He can. Well, yeah. And he can do a lot of things like John did. Okay. It's not. The talent is in the family.

[Andrew Santino]

That's awesome.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. I don't like your line of questioning here.

[Bobby Lee]

She's being. That's just an honest line of question.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You're right. I'm being awful.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I love you. Thanks for doing it.

[Andrew Santino]

I love you too. Are you okay? Did you have a grumpy day?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I. I was telling these guys I haven't been sleeping much.

[Andrew Santino]

You haven't been sleeping.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And it's been five days of, like, holding within my calm. And so I don't you just come.

[Andrew Santino]

In your belly button?

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, I have not. I'm trying to not to, you know, I mean, relieve myself in that way.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why his balls are purple. It's held up down there. Yeah, it's held up like a bank robbery.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Some people get blue, I get purple.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. And so purple balls.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's how my dad said it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Poo poo bows.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dad, I don't know why I do an accent when you talk. Dad, that's my bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Show me. You both.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't know, dad.

[Bobby Lee]

Show me. Okay, well, your friend, see, Lisa, has to go home.

[Lisa Gilroy]

All right, all right.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not Lisa.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm the mail carrier.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, is it the show? Is that an oil dad?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Zip.

[Andrew Santino]

Does your dad listen?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, from heaven. Thanks. Thanks for bringing that up. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's gone.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

When an Asian guy dies, you know, they say you take your last breath. Some people like.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

His dad went.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wow.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't know if that's right. Was. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You think you called me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, but you were. You were the one that told me that when regular goes haunt people, they go, boo. And what does my dad do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's. That's wrong.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it. You've never heard your dad in your house.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, but it's more like.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, you think your dad's haunting you for real? Do you think your dad's haunting you?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I think his lower half is.

[Andrew Santino]

And it's possessing your balls. And that's what made them all.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. My theory is this, Lisa Gilroy, if you want to hear.

[Andrew Santino]

I'd love to hear it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

When my father died, my brother and I argued about the ashes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So then I go just split them up. But I go make sure my brother gets the upper half and I get the bottom half. Because when. If a ghost haunts you, you'd rather hear footsteps than the actual.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's true.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever been haunted?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't really think so.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Sounds like someone has a traumatic event.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, well, I didn't.

[Bobby Lee]

What happened?

[Andrew Santino]

I heard a little girl. I heard a little girl's voice once in my house, but that's it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's a haunting.

[Bobby Lee]

Go on, go on, go on, go on.

[Andrew Santino]

That's all that happened.

[Bobby Lee]

I literally something else.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What did it say?

[Andrew Santino]

It said, one day in the future, you're gonna go on a podcast with two guys, and you have to kill them. Slit their throats before they get in the car in the parking lot. And if you don't, you will never be avenged. You will never survive the curse.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

That's why I'm here.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want. And that's why sling. That's why I clip your hairs. Okay. And make a squirrel epitaph.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I wish you would kill me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, me too.

[Andrew Santino]

You had a grumpy day, too. You're not sleeping, bud.

[Bobby Lee]

I actually had a really nice day. That's why I want to die.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh. Because you'd be going out on a high note.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. We did everything I wanted to do it. Talked about animal practice.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Blues Brothers.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And you know what? Me too.

[Bobby Lee]

Kill us both.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna kill you guys both. But first, I'm gonna take you. Okay. This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you all the chocolate you ever wanted to eat.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna take you to beach where you can run around, go crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna let you eat grapes, cheese, all the stuff that you weren't allowed to eat.

[Bobby Lee]

Grapes and cheese both.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna let you up on the couch. Not even with the blanket there. You can just come right up.

[Bobby Lee]

Shoes on.

[Andrew Santino]

Snuggle with me. Shoes on. I'll give you belly rubs to both of them.

[Lisa Gilroy]

The belly rubs. Remember his belly.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. It's your last.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm Sorry I said that. I clean them out now. My belly buttons.

[Andrew Santino]

It's so interesting. You have two belly buttons and one ball.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Anyway, watch it. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you have an Audi?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I have a Bronco.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, sick. The fast. Huh? You have an Innie or an Audi belly button?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Any.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't say it like people don't have Audis.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I've never seen an Audi.

[Bobby Lee]

Huh.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You have an Audi.

[Andrew Santino]

Why do I feel like only like 8 year old boys have Audis?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because they get them fixed at some point.

[Andrew Santino]

They get them fixed or they get them like pushed in.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's an Audi. They. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't push them in.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You got to get your uncle, I.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Think have an Audi based on that photo. Can I just show you?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, no, they do have an Audi a little.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a. That's an Innie Audi. That's an Ini Audi. Like Severance.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Oh, I was Severance belly button.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow. Do you like that show? Yeah, I love the great show.

[Andrew Santino]

Can't get enough of the stuff.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, I. There's a lot of good shows out now.

[Bobby Lee]

I haven't seen anything.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You never seen Severance?

[Bobby Lee]

I watched the start and then I. I fell asleep on the plane and then I. I never got back to it. I did see a documentary about that girl that faked that she was had brain cancer yesterday.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I watched the series of that apple cider vinegar.

[Bobby Lee]

I heard that wasn't as good.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I loved it. But I haven't seen what you've seen and you haven't seen what I've seen. Do you want to run at each other full speed?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't know anything what you're talking about, so I want to see it.

[Bobby Lee]

Alice on a video is the show about the girl who fakes that she had. She's an Australian girl named Belle Gibson. Belle Gibson and Bill Gibson.

[Andrew Santino]

She's from Melbourne.

[Bobby Lee]

It really drove me nuts that they kept calling her in the documentary Belle Gibson. Mel Gibson because it sounds like Mel Gibson. They say it's all the time like. Well, that's when Mel Gibson went on that hard little tirade. Oh, I remember that on PC.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Tell me about Bell.

[Bobby Lee]

She faked that she had brain cancer.

[Andrew Santino]

And spleen cancer and blood cancer and brain cancer.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And she was in Australia.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You saw a documentary on Netflix and.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw the, the like show on that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they made a show based on. And they put them out basically the same time.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Like I never said the Mandela's Brothers show.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, the Mendettas Brothers. Yeah. They killed his parents. Yeah, the show was pretty good. Yeah, it was called Mononsters, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

The Vendetta Brothers.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I have a speechman impediment.

[Andrew Santino]

So do I.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, then. Touche.

[Bobby Lee]

There's Belle Gibson right there taking a photo. Belle, tell us why you faked your cancer.

[Andrew Santino]

I. At the time, I. I didn't. I. I had brain cancer.

[Bobby Lee]

Belle, come on. You said you went to a doctor in Perth at the time. Quite frankly, we looked up. The doctor doesn't exist.

[Andrew Santino]

Those are my medical records, personal and private.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, one moment. My son's here.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. What are you talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

My adopted son. My adopted Chinese.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I can't do an Asian accent.

[Bobby Lee]

I have an Australian accent or any of them, really.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Down under.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, down under, this girl just sat on a 60 Minutes and the. And that's the footage of the 60 Minutes. And she literally is like, you don't have brain cancer. She's like. At the time.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. She goes, true or false? You have brain cancer.

[Bobby Lee]

She goes, at the time.

[Andrew Santino]

True, false.

[Bobby Lee]

It was amazing. But she's such a magician. She's able to just kind of like off all this negative. She's. Nothing ever happened. She never got arrested. She never. Prison, nothing.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What's the problem here?

[Andrew Santino]

What about if I said to you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

If I said to you.

[Bobby Lee]

We're not finishing the story?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

She created a health app, and the app earned a lot of money from people who have cancer that wanted to take this health journey with her.

[Andrew Santino]

And she said she was going to give, like, many of the proceeds to charity, which she never did.

[Bobby Lee]

She never did.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's a. It's a brilliant money scamming fraud.

[Bobby Lee]

That's. But we agree, it is a brilliant charity fraud.

[Andrew Santino]

Beautiful name for a baby girl.

[Bobby Lee]

What's up, Portland? We're charity fraud.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I said not a band. I said for a baby girl. Like, hey, I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what a baby girl sounds like. Hey, I'm. Welcome to Portland. I'm charity fraud. Little girls don't sound like that.

[Andrew Santino]

You started to do Ocean Avenue.

[Bobby Lee]

I did. Brain cancer is such a heavy one to lie.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's a heavy.

[Bobby Lee]

You could have lied about. You could. You could have said, what's leukemia is blood cancer. That one's an easier lie because people can live with it for a long time. Why brain don't go.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna tell you something, though. Teeny T. Nurse.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead for me, babe.

[Andrew Santino]

I think what she has is worse than brain cancer. Cause if you're sick enough to lie about having brain cancer. You've got another kind of illness that's maybe even more serious than brain cancer.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Sociopathy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, something like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you ever put a bicycle playing card on the spokes of your bicycle?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you ever see people do that in the neighborhood? Yeah, in Canada they do that.

[Andrew Santino]

Not right. I feel like that's for little boys in the 1940s.

[Bobby Lee]

No, we did it.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey. I put a playing card in the spoke of my bicycle for a little bit of fun. Is that you?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, that's a girl. You're doing a girl. Do a guy.

[Andrew Santino]

I bought a Spudler. I can't. Oh, my God. I don't think.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What accident are you trying to do?

[Andrew Santino]

How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes.

[Bobby Lee]

You'll be okay. Just.

[Andrew Santino]

You'll be in my heart.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No matter what they say. Name what movie that's from.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Let me guess.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a contest.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Singing again.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, I'm gonna sing the first verse.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Please?

[Andrew Santino]

For one so small, you seem so strong.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, stop. I'm gonna say Little Mermaid.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

My arms defend you. Keep you safe and warm.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You know what? Moana?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Getting closer, though. Yeah, I know.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Mohana, too.

[Bobby Lee]

Pocahontas, you'll be in my heart.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Is that Pocahontas?

[Andrew Santino]

No. And you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You don't know. You don't know it either. Let's see who gets it. I've never heard the song before, but I'm gonna try. It's in modern. It's a more modern anime. Is it animated or a cartoon?

[Bobby Lee]

It's Jungle Book.

[Andrew Santino]

Animated or cartoon?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know what it is. Lion King.

[Bobby Lee]

I know because I know the movie. Funny, because I remember the song, but.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't say it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Lion King. It's not Taran.

[Andrew Santino]

Tarzan.

[Bobby Lee]

Tarzan.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What is it Tarzan? No movie called Tarzan.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Yes, there was. Right there. You'll be in my.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And Phil Collins did the song for it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty iconic.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Give me another Disney song, and I want to see if I can guess it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. You want me to do kind of a hard one?

[Lisa Gilroy]

No. Go basic. Obviously, we don't know what the fuck you're doing.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, Santinors knew it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I did know that.

[Andrew Santino]

So I'll do Middle Ground.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Middle Ground.

[Andrew Santino]

So it's still, like, an interesting competition. How about this one? This one, Longing to be thinner. This one wants to get the girl. Do I help them? Yes, I do. Poor unfortunate.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know, I know. And I guess.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course you can guess, Bobby. That's the name My love.

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's Little Mermaid.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's Little Mermaid.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, wow. You're so good at it.

[Andrew Santino]

He knows his redheads.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wink.

[Lisa Gilroy]

No. Black person now.

[Bobby Lee]

Black person now.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I'm. Oh, I guess that's right.

[Lisa Gilroy]

They changed it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And we were. We threw.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't see.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We were at the committee when we were pushing for the black person. Yeah, I mean, we want to be inclusive.

[Andrew Santino]

That's great.

[Lisa Gilroy]

There's a stereotype that black people can't swim. That's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that. Are there. Are there? Because this disproves that.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Look at that. Barack Obama swimming as a kid. I love it.

[Bobby Lee]

Where's Michelle?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, they didn't meet then.

[Bobby Lee]

How long have they been together?

[Andrew Santino]

Did you guys hear that? Jennifer Aniston and Barack Obama.

[Bobby Lee]

I heard they're hooking up. I don't know if they're dating.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you're dating has to happen first.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Someone just get to hook up.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Michelle and Barack are not. No longer together.

[Andrew Santino]

I. I don't know. I just heard a rumor.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a rumor on the Internet, but.

[Andrew Santino]

I think if you're gonna hook up with someone, you have to go on a date with them, because otherwise, how are you supposed to kiss if you don't have spaghetti first?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, is that the king thing?

[Andrew Santino]

How. What's a. What's a way you guys try to do a first kiss that makes it, like, kind of fun? Like, not.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So. I. I tried it yesterday.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And it didn't work.

[Andrew Santino]

What was it?

[Lisa Gilroy]

She was wearing a beanie.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And she was wearing a toque.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I covered her eyes, and then I went in for a kiss.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait, Bobby, I'm so sorry. You were on a date with a woman who was.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We were in her bed. Oh, we're watching a Law and Order or something.

[Andrew Santino]

She wasn't. She had a toque pulled over her eyes.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. And then I just put the toe over and I went in and I kissed her lips there.

[Bobby Lee]

That's cute.

[Andrew Santino]

That's kind of cute. But that wasn't a first kiss, was it?

[Lisa Gilroy]

It was.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And she said, don't ever do that again. No, she didn't say that.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, that is. That's pretty cute.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I didn't know how to. Sometimes you go, here's the thing with women. I'm gonna say something. There are signs you have.

[Bobby Lee]

Listen up, women.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Listen up.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm listening.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right? Here are the signs I need to see.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

When you're at a date, you have to be playing with your hair.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to. They have to be, not me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

At a restaurant, you have long hair. You can play hair.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know, but I've seen them do it. It's a sign.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a sign of what?

[Lisa Gilroy]

That they like you and they want to be there. Here's another thing. If you get close to them, if you move away, that's not good. But if I move closer than, like, we're on a bench or something, we're bowling or whatever. Right. And they don't move, that's a good sign. The third one I look for. This is not. I'm not.

[Bobby Lee]

Sign, sign, sign, sign.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right. Another one is if, you know, sometimes when we're talking, put your arm up. Right. So I'll go, like. If you say a funny joke as a girl.

[Andrew Santino]

Careful.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I was just gonna say.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

A funny joke as a girl.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. I'm just. We're having Thai food.

[Bobby Lee]

Knock, knock.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Well, who's there?

[Bobby Lee]

Trump.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Trump who?

[Bobby Lee]

Donald Trump, the new president.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I do that, you know, I mean, I do. A little touchy feely there.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Lisa Gilroy]

But sometimes they do it back. If you say something, they'll touch you.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a good sign. That's a good sign.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. I wouldn't have laughed at that Trump joke, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? That was one of her best jokes.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know, but I just. It didn't really hit well with me.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll try it again.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Knock, knock.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Who's there?

[Bobby Lee]

Trump.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Trump who?

[Bobby Lee]

Donald J. Trump.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So I feel like you're not even getting the girl's joke.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. I don't get it. Yeah. I would give her a quick tap like that with no laugh. Maybe you could do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you being serious?

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Knock, knock.

[Lisa Gilroy]

No. Does it have to be a knock knock?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yes, it's a knock. It's a joke from a girl.

[Andrew Santino]

Knock knock.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Who's there?

[Andrew Santino]

Instrument.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Instrument who?

[Andrew Santino]

Trumpet.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I guess. Better than yours. You know what? Fuck it. Yeah. I'm not taking any advice from you guys or playing this game with.

[Bobby Lee]

We're girls.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, I know you are.

[Bobby Lee]

Well.

[Lisa Gilroy]

But I just don't think you're taking it. Handling it well.

[Bobby Lee]

This is why you're not going to get a second date.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. We're here to help you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Don't you think that those are good signs, though?

[Andrew Santino]

You want her to be. I think the hair one is the only one that. I mean, the hair thing is. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Not every girl is gonna twirl their hair.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. But when they do, it's a good sign.

[Andrew Santino]

I'LL show you when it's a bad sign. Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm on a date with you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, let's. Okay, how about this? Okay. We're in a conversation. First date.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right. So it's just like. Jesus Christ.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa. Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Sorry. What were you saying? I was just playing with my hair.

[Bobby Lee]

Hi. Can you and your date please step outside and eat on the patio? We've had some complaints from some of the people.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, well, that's weird. Okay, I guess we gotta move to the patio, babe.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I guess. Can I be serious. I'm just gonna leave. I'll pay the bill.

[Andrew Santino]

Babe, wait. I was just playing with my hair to let you know it's weird.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello, this is the mommy and this is the daddy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, okay. Yes, that would be good. You think that would be good or bad? Good.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a good sign.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's a good sign. If a girl does that specifically. That's a good sign.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I mean, that's. That seems like she's engaging, she's interested, she's having fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Go to the bathroom. She can keep herself occupied.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I think I'm reading her wrong. Yeah, you're right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Read it right.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, I'll read it. Right. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I think if they touch their hair like that, that means, like, hey, they're doing full conversation.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, she just. That. That. That shows that she has an imagination.

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She can occupy herself.

[Bobby Lee]

She doesn't need you.

[Andrew Santino]

She don't need a man to make it happen.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Maybe it's more like, you know. I mean, where were you, Johnny?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's better.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Where were you, Johnny? Mom, it's only 8pm I called the police and put you on a milk carton. You. Mom.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What's his problem?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't know what Johnny's problem is, but I like something like that. Yeah, that went wrong. I don't want that. ExpressVPN.

[Bobby Lee]

Going online without using ExpressVPN is like not closing the door when you use the bathroom. That's disgusting. All right. Even if you think you got nothing to hide, why give random creeps a chance to invade your privacy? It's weird, man. I travel a lot. We travel a lot. And we must use Express vpn.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Why? Everyone needs it. I'll tell you why. Because sometimes you're in a foreign place.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And you're like, oh, I have this app that's not working right. Then I use VPN.

[Bobby Lee]

It works.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It works.

[Bobby Lee]

But the best part is ExpressVPN hides your IP address, making it difficult for third parties to track your online activity. I don't want people to know where we are, what we're up to, what I'm looking at.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm Jason Bourne.

[Bobby Lee]

You are Jason Bourne. Okay. Optional dedicated IP service engineered with innovative zero knowledge design. Not even ExpressVPN can trace an IP address back to the user. That is pretty incredible. Rated number one by top tech reviewers like CNET and the Verge. Here's the best part. I've been using ExpressVPN for a while now, and when I'm traveling, I want to watch shows and movies and whatever I got going on. Thank goodness for Express vpn. They protect me and let me be free. Tell them how to get Protect your.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Online privacy today by using expressvpn.com bad friends. That's expressvpn.come x p r e s s v p n.com bad friends to find out how you can get up.

[Bobby Lee]

To four extra months, free expressvpn.com bad friends one time I went on a blind date and I took a bus to West Hollywood to meet her at a Mexican restaurant that was on Santa Monica in the middle of West Hollywood. And is it true what they say? Yeah, it is. Big blind girls have bigger boobs. What? Is it true? Yeah, what they say?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Blind girls, bigger boobs.

[Andrew Santino]

Bigger boobs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

My man.

[Bobby Lee]

My dog.

[Lisa Gilroy]

My dog. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Knock, knock.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's there?

[Andrew Santino]

Instrument.

[Bobby Lee]

Instrument who?

[Andrew Santino]

Violin. See, that's fucking with you. And keep me with you. On your toes.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's pretty good.

[Andrew Santino]

So you went. You took a bus to your date at a Mexican restaurant. It was.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I busted a girl that has a big vag.

[Bobby Lee]

Would I?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How would you know?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you'd know because you have to date first.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Before you fucking move.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me tell you something.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Big hands.

[Bobby Lee]

When you come walking up, we can hear it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

They plead, swish, swish, splish, splash.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm taking a bath.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Have I dated a girl with a big vagina?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No. I don't think so. Okay, I don't think so.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I can't say the same.

[Andrew Santino]

But every vagina must feel like a big vagina to you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

To me Saying that to me.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I was, I guess, to both of you.

[Bobby Lee]

Sure that's a small penis thing?

[Andrew Santino]

Could be.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean, it could be?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Let me ask you something.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not a fucking doctor. I don't work.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Make an assumption. Who has a bigger penis between me.

[Andrew Santino]

And Andrew, I can't. I can't.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, you can.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't even engage in that.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

See?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, Any road. Finish your story. Take a bus to a Mexican restaurant.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I took a bus to a Mexican to meet this girl. I get out of the bus and she's on the bar dancing, and she's wearing like a tiny little skirt and she had the biggest vagina I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

So I married her.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Knock, knock.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Who's there?

[Bobby Lee]

Instrument.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Instrument. What?

[Bobby Lee]

Instrumental in this conversation. Have a good night.

[Andrew Santino]

I love that.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Anyway, I don't think your wife has a big vag, but.

[Bobby Lee]

No, dude, yes, she does.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Okay. I didn't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Anyway, let's. Oh, sorry. It's uncomfortable for you, this line of questioning.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I'm happy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I, I, I, I'm sure you have a small one and let's move on.

[Bobby Lee]

It was in my vows.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't.

[Lisa Gilroy]

All right, till depth.

[Bobby Lee]

Do us part.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What are some red flags? I know you're married, but if you were dating a guy, what would be some red flags? Ooh. If I said to you, you know, you know, Lisa, you know, I'm just trying to start this comedy already. Yeah, why this kind of, this Joe.

[Andrew Santino]

Pesci of it all.

[Bobby Lee]

I do see that.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. I'm from Brooklyn. What the.

[Andrew Santino]

You're like, hey, any chance you're gonna leave your 8 year old son home alone this weekend?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't have a year old son, man. I have my mom with my mom. Yeah, Is that a red flag?

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, what are your red flags?

[Andrew Santino]

Unless your mom is Meryl Streep. Then it's a green flag.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, that's cool. That's a really cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me a red flag and I'll tell you how it could be a green flag.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's really cool to all of your female listeners. Okay, so can I still be this guy?

[Andrew Santino]

Sure, sure.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'll be honest with you. I like pineapple on my pizza.

[Andrew Santino]

You what?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Pineapple on my pizza.

[Andrew Santino]

So you like pineapple on your pizza?

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's what I said. I'm from Brooklyn.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a green flag already to me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, good.

[Bobby Lee]

What, you, you don't really like pineapple on your pizza?

[Andrew Santino]

I do. I actually think it gives it like a zesty kind of taste that otherwise it wouldn't have.

[Bobby Lee]

That's your idea of zest?

[Andrew Santino]

I just love the sweet and sour kind of like savory and sweet.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Where the are you from, darling?

[Bobby Lee]

We've got to get off this bus.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yo, hey, guy. Hey, guy. Where the are you from? With that silly way you're talking, New York is terrifying.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't need money, love. Sorry, sir, we don't please.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You pay. You pay to get on the bus. What do you guys.

[Bobby Lee]

We like to get off the bus, please.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, you stop.

[Bobby Lee]

This bus driver's really got 50p to give him. Got nothing on me. Yeah, sorry. Go away, go away, go away.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I like jalapenos and pineapple on my fucking pizza, man.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, this is what it's like taking the bus. Yeah, that's exactly what it's like every day. You might. You're just going to get yelled at and assaulted.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but what really happened? You took the bus to the restaurant. What happened?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't remember.

[Andrew Santino]

You said you went on a blind date to a Mexican restaurant. You took a bus. Come on, Beautiful Mind. He's got it together. You remember? He's singing.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What the you doing, sir? What? Dad? Yeah, son.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, dad.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Hey, son. What's up?

[Bobby Lee]

Where have you been?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I've been living the bus all day long, man. Talking to fucking women, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Still driving the bus, huh?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, I'm driving it. I'm taking ladies, you know, talk about my pineapples on my pizzas. I have a good angle in, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Miss you, pop.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I missed you too, son. What happened to you? You die?

[Andrew Santino]

Andrew? Andrew.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Where'd you go? I asked you about the date and you just like got really quiet and you like looked into the distance.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean? I've been.

[Andrew Santino]

You were just staring there.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Take a minute. Really take a minute for a second.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So he experienced trauma and sometimes he goes in these. Oh yeah, these takes, you know, he. He's, you know, zones out. You don't have to call it out.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Sorry, I. I just didn't know.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's a little rude. You know, I could call you out about some things.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I wouldn't ever do it.

[Andrew Santino]

It wasn't malicious intent at all. I was just trying to make sure that he was okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You okay now?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So do you want to tell us about the big date?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, here we go. She's not getting.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, the big date. I ate.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Sweet as ever.

[Bobby Lee]

Bacon wrapped.

[Andrew Santino]

No way.

[Bobby Lee]

Double fried, chocolate dipped, double dipped, peanut butter, stuffed pbs, deep fried and everything deep double fried on a ding dong.

[Andrew Santino]

Scatter deck, sliced in half and filled to the brim. Pitless and shitless. Yummy. Dummy. Ding dong.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I love bacon wrapped around dates.

[Bobby Lee]

Bacon wrapped dates are probably one of my favorite.

[Andrew Santino]

I like a sweet. I like peanut butter chocolate date.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Well, that's pretty good too. Very touche.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Delicious.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. How about most. Most unattractive looking food that you find absolutely delicious?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Unattractive?

[Bobby Lee]

It looks ugly, but it's quite good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Beef stroganoff.

[Bobby Lee]

Beef. That does look gross and tastes good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

With what?

[Lisa Gilroy]

With pineapples, obviously.

[Bobby Lee]

Ugliest food that tastes good, I guess.

[Andrew Santino]

Mussels.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, you're right. Yeah. They look like little vags.

[Andrew Santino]

They look like something anyway going on.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Lobster in general. Lobsters always look so great.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I've had.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like when they cut it open on the. They half it on the.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't want to. I don't like how.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like that. I don't need that.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I was violently sick because of muscles.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, me. Same. San Francisco.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, it was.

[Bobby Lee]

I got four days.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. San Diego. It almost killed me. It's bad when they go bad. It goes bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, don't they say like muscles? Right. Don't. Isn't it something like. Mussels have a super high. What's the level that makes me something that makes people really sick and listeria. Yeah, like they're. Yeah, that's right. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I think that was in eggs and shit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's. It's in the lot.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Last time you had diarrhea, Lisa.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, there it is. Paralytic shellfish poison. Psp.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Lee]

And yeah, this is like super common. People get it all the time.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, you can get PSP from mussels.

[Bobby Lee]

PSP 2.

[Andrew Santino]

And that's when you can like hear the thoughts of dead people and stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Purple. I do want to ask you a real serious question. If we can be serious for two seconds.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Does. Is there a Lisa Gilroy show in the works? I have a. There's a rumor that you have a. You have a show.

[Andrew Santino]

Fuck off.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm dead serious. No, I'm.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, I heard that.

[Bobby Lee]

Being 100% serious.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I heard that too.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Be honest. You're being.

[Bobby Lee]

I just be serious for two.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah. Are you being honest right now, Gilroy?

[Bobby Lee]

Are you develop. Is there a show being developed at least? A Gilroy show. Well, may not be called.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Did you sell a show?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You. So you. You're not a part of any company. Any production company developing anything for you?

[Andrew Santino]

No. But I know a few production companies will be pretty mad to hear me say that. Hey, I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a few girls will be mad to hear me.

[Bobby Lee]

We got it on the first time.

[Andrew Santino]

Like I was saying, because.

[Bobby Lee]

We got it.

[Andrew Santino]

Mitch Hedbrick had said something kind of like a joke like that that I.

[Bobby Lee]

We got it on the first time. You don't need to do headshots joke.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't have a husband, but I know a guy that'd be pretty mad if he heard me say that.

[Bobby Lee]

So you are doing a show?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. You are?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I'm developing stuff. I'm always developing stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Nah, but there's something else that you're just. I don't like when you're being coy.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm. I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't be.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We've got stuff. Hey, we got stuff, too.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, we actually don't. We're.

[Andrew Santino]

You guys have anime.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We have an anime show and a game show and other things.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no, we wash those away. They're both gone on you.

[Andrew Santino]

You were making a game show. That's fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop it. You can be on it.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that true? What would it be like?

[Bobby Lee]

We are making a game show.

[Lisa Gilroy]

We're sure we did a pilot. Can we talk about that or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Stamos and John Stamos and Meghan Trainer.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Meghan Trainor did it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's our first two guests.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, so it's only, like, one person competing against one person.

[Bobby Lee]

They go head to head. Bobby and I are watching the show, and it's.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So we would match you with somebody equivalent level of what to be on our game show.

[Bobby Lee]

Stardom. Hip, hip coolness.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So let me think of somebody that we could patch her up with. Dax Flame.

[Bobby Lee]

Quinta Brunson.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Quinta Brunson. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You and Quinta Brunson. What's wrong with that?

[Andrew Santino]

She. You guys are being mean to me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What? What the.

[Bobby Lee]

What the.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What the are you saying?

[Andrew Santino]

She's so famous.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, you know what, dude?

[Andrew Santino]

You have to pair me up with, like.

[Bobby Lee]

You're Lisa Gilroy, the mail carrier. What an oil dad.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, Lisa, you are.

[Andrew Santino]

You've won for regular folks. I can be on it.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up. That's so annoying.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You, dude. You're a star.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the premise?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm gonna fart in the mic.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you. Your fans are gonna love this.

[Andrew Santino]

That.

[Bobby Lee]

Now. That was ass Cat.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that was ass.

[Bobby Lee]

South by Southwest Mike Foughts.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, now Santino and I are gonna have a competition. Replicate that. And Bobby, you. You get to be the little king. Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Can I get through the smell, though? It was actually pungent.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it's your fault.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know. I it up.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, now listen to Santino do to replicate it. And then listen to me.

[Bobby Lee]

You go first. You're the guest.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What are we doing to explain to me your fart.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

The best. What?

[Bobby Lee]

The best version of your fart.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, good. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, listen. Yeah. Close your eyes. Yeah. And actually, you shouldn't even know who's going first. Yeah. Perfect. What did you like so good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's like a different interpretation of actually the thing.

[Bobby Lee]

That's art.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It is art. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's all subjective.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. I feel like I know what the order was.

[Bobby Lee]

What was the order?

[Lisa Gilroy]

You first. You second.

[Andrew Santino]

Because weirdly, you put a little vocal.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You put your voice. You sounded organically far.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah. He's best. She's better at.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know how you managed to put, like, your own voice into.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, that was the talent.

[Lisa Gilroy]

If you were on a date, a guy did that. Is it a red flag?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm going to put my own voice into it for now.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

But would that be a red flag.

[Andrew Santino]

For you if a guy farted like that? A microphone?

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, no. Just in. Yeah. Like. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Is your husband ever farted before? It was your husband you were dating. You farted on a date. Were you chill about it?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think there was ever any farting on dates. Really.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you fart in front of you now?

[Andrew Santino]

Because I think. Yeah, of course.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Did you trap the farts?

[Bobby Lee]

Do you fart in front of him?

[Andrew Santino]

Of course. I think it's criminally insane. People don't fart in front of their partners.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that you guys?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I never do.

[Bobby Lee]

Me and Bob have never farted in front of each other.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Never. That was the first time. And then I didn't get cut out. It was so disgusting.

[Andrew Santino]

But do you. I know you're farting in front of girlfriend's past. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, that's why the ghost of girlfriend fast.

[Andrew Santino]

You know when a ghost of girlfriend's past comes to show you how you spent Christmas and wants to teach you a lesson?

[Bobby Lee]

Jacob, it's because of your gas your girlfriends are gone.

[Andrew Santino]

Spirit. No, spirit. Don't they always say spirit?

[Bobby Lee]

Spirit.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Spirit.

[Bobby Lee]

Spirit.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'll only fart in front of an ex girlfriend if they do a blood queef.

[Bobby Lee]

Bobby didn't have to do that. Bobby.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

No, don't do that.

[Andrew Santino]

That's Crazy. That's like. That's like, kind of like a blood oath, but different. Santinors. Are you farting in front of your bride?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Big farts are chill.

[Andrew Santino]

Farts are chill.

[Bobby Lee]

Farts are. Actually, there is a study. Look this up. There's a study that finds that couples who fart in front of each other have a healthier love and longer lasting relationships. Look at that. Couples who fart together. Farting in front of a partner indicates strong bond. Sign of trust, honesty, and respect.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. All right. Everybody get in here. We're making the new campaign for farting in front of your partner. One of the slogans that I came up with today was, the more fart, the more heart. I'd love to hear from you guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead, Bob.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Nagasaki, never forget.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, I'm writing that down. That's awesome. Another one I have is toot is cute.

[Bobby Lee]

Toot is cute.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good. Santino, anything over there, Let it go. That's your hoe.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Bang, bang. Open your mouth.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Bobby, I'm loving the stuff that you're coming through.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. I'm a good. You know, I would be a good. An ad agency. I would be really good.

[Bobby Lee]

Plop, plop. Hope your heart doesn't stop.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Love you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's pretty good.

[Andrew Santino]

Plop, plop. The love don't stop.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Plop, plop.

[Bobby Lee]

My love don't stop.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. My wife is cute.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Let's come up with a different thing about, like, you know, instead of, like, hey, can you pee on me? Come up with a different terminology for that.

[Andrew Santino]

I just don't know what else I would say if I was not always saying, hey, can you pee on me?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I say that so much.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Can you water the. Can you water the.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you. My. My soil patch?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, like, you're trying to find a way to, like, say it in public so that you're like, hey, later when we get home.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Can you water the hill?

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Like, my belly.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you fill up my Brita?

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's pretty good. What about poop? You can't come with.

[Andrew Santino]

All too far.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like them.

[Lisa Gilroy]

All right. Okay. I don't either.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you have. Do you. Have you ever been peed on?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm not gonna answer that. I'm not gonna answer that.

[Bobby Lee]

Look to the board. It says yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, is this your game show?

[Lisa Gilroy]

It was welcome Accidentally.

[Bobby Lee]

Welcome back to the game. It's called look at the Board.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Broad. Look at the board. Look at the board. Broad.

[Lisa Gilroy]

So if you.

[Bobby Lee]

First up, Chinese guy, blonde lady. First question out of the gate. Welcome to my game show. It's called look at the Borg.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you so much for having me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Thank you so much. Minnesota. And I'm a college engineer.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm Lisa Gilroy. I am a dental hygienist and I'm from Toronto, Ontario.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I didn't say my name. Tutmangani.

[Bobby Lee]

Thanks. Tut Magani. Thanks. Lisa Gilroy, thank you for being here on my show.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Me too.

[Bobby Lee]

Lisa Gilroy, hands on. Behind you. One hand behind your back. One hand on the buzzer. Get ready to buzz in.

[Lisa Gilroy]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

In 1947, the inflation rate had adjusted from the previous year from 2%, 3.5%. True or false? Ding and ding. True Lisa. True.

[Lisa Gilroy]

False.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at the board. Bing. True Lisa.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Good one, Lisa. I would have got that wrong.

[Bobby Lee]

Lisa wins a brand new car.

[Andrew Santino]

I would like to double roll and big guess them.

[Bobby Lee]

Double roll. Big guesser.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, okay. I'm sorry for swearing. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Listen up to D. Here we go.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Nuta.

[Bobby Lee]

Connie Nuttakani.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Is a popular dessert in which country? Bing, Lisa.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I was first.

[Bobby Lee]

Bing, Lisa.

[Andrew Santino]

Thailand.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at the board. Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's from my mom's house.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at the boat.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Bing, Bing, Bing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yay.

[Andrew Santino]

Double or nothing. My peace stack.

[Bobby Lee]

You really want to double or nothing?

[Andrew Santino]

I think at this point, Andrew, it's all or nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

Fill up that bridge. Here we go. Hands on the buzzer. Hand behind the back tooth. Goodie. And Lisa, this is for the final up. Double up. Up the peace deck. Jerry Seinfeld came into Bing. Oh, Lisa, what's the deal? Look at the boat. Yay.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I just don't know how she would come up with that. So she won.

[Bobby Lee]

You lost. Now lose a statement. Look at the camera. Loser statement. Go ahead. When you're ready. Losers. Statement from Tutagani.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What does that mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Look at the camera. Loser's statement. It's time for the loser. Oh, permission to boo. Granted it.

[Andrew Santino]

Boo.

[Bobby Lee]

Love it. Love it. Again.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, she's going for a You double down.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I lost. And I was relying on the money to save my family's business. And this is going to be a triple a triple suicide tonight at the new's house.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, that's it for us tonight at look at the board. We want to thank Lisa girl for being a part of here in Lutani.

[Lisa Gilroy]

In fact. In fact.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, way to go, toot.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What a great newt. Dude. If you have never repeated it again, I'm Gonna get what?

[Bobby Lee]

Slow down.

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, you, dude, you don't. Too cute. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

You can slow down.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Really good game show.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah. It had nothing to do with pee though.

[Bobby Lee]

Not everything does.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's true.

[Bobby Lee]

Not every.

[Lisa Gilroy]

My grandfather used to say that not everything involves peeing. And I go, what are you saying that for me?

[Bobby Lee]

You know what a great part, like imparting that kind of wisdom. What was that phrase your grandpa used to say to you?

[Andrew Santino]

I was trying to think of something genuine.

[Bobby Lee]

But you were so young too. Do you really remember? I mean, he was so young when he was alive.

[Andrew Santino]

My grandpa?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I guess he used to say, weasels are for tits and hoes are for love.

[Bobby Lee]

That's iconic.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, that's really good one.

[Bobby Lee]

What am I? Grandfather? His. One of his favorite phrases.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Well, that's great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But now do it with his teeth in.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. I love you so much. You're my favorite grandchild.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow. Can I do with a toothless and not toothless, please. All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. And what did he say?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Put the teeth back on. Don't touch me there ever again.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow, that's sweet.

[Andrew Santino]

He had those like dentures that make you speak English.

[Lisa Gilroy]

My grandfather was bilingual.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Lisa Gilroy]

But he's highly educated person. I come from a line of educated people.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't doubt that. Why did his dentures and make him switch languages? That was what I was asking.

[Bobby Lee]

And that's the thing. We're going after bilinguals, bisexuals. If you're bi. Bye. Bye.

[Andrew Santino]

I did everything right.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Then they indicted me. Yeah, okay. They're very good impressions. Because if I said it in Korean, the joke wouldn't be there.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's hear it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't know if I can say it.

[Bobby Lee]

Say it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That was good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, it worked. Yeah. I just said penis. Don't touch.

[Bobby Lee]

Penis. Don't touch.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's penis?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Gochu.

[Andrew Santino]

No, genuinely, what's penis?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Gochu.

[Bobby Lee]

Gochu.

[Andrew Santino]

No, like, what's the word mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Goo.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What do you mean? What does the word mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Penis.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's a male genitalia. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

This is a kid show.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. I'll teach you some other Korean nasty words if you want to know. Pangu.

[Bobby Lee]

Pangu. Pangu.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What's pangu?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, pangu's. Wait, fart? No.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, fart.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Very good. Boji.

[Bobby Lee]

Boji. Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What's boji?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, boji is blowjob.

[Lisa Gilroy]

No. You know what it is?

[Bobby Lee]

Ooh, boat. Boji's Back.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I can put in a sentence.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Butthole.

[Andrew Santino]

My boji's back, and you're gonna get in trouble.

[Bobby Lee]

No, hey, now. Hey, now. My boji's back.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That girl from Texas had a big boji.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a vagina.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just keep putting you, you know. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Was butthole. Butthole Was what?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Gondinghee.

[Bobby Lee]

Gondinghee.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I love gondingi. Have ever had that with kimchi?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's very good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

It tastes like calamari. You wouldn't even notice it.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, have you been to a good Korean barbecue spot? Spot? Yeah. Which one?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Which one?

[Andrew Santino]

Castle Barbecue. I used to live by there. It's not good. I like it.

[Bobby Lee]

Chosan is the best.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Sukbul, Jeep or park?

[Bobby Lee]

Park is also good.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, we're taking. We gotta take you.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. And your husband.

[Bobby Lee]

Why'd you do this face? What is. Oh, does he have a disability?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I thought he did.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that why he did that face?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. No, he's nice.

[Andrew Santino]

You never met him. Bobby.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I know, but I've seen him online.

[Bobby Lee]

I never met him, but we'll bib him if he needs to be big.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Every time I say husband, I make that face.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, okay. You hate husbands.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, if mother's against drunk driving, Bobby's against good husbands.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Koreans against husbands.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Anyway, jut is breast. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, don't tell us what it means. Just use it in a sentence where all the other words are English.

[Lisa Gilroy]

All right, all right. Man. I bought my house 20 years ago, man, but it went down in price because of the Gam Dungis.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Andrew Santino]

The what?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Gamdungis.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm afraid to say it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, yeah. So don't say it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, I'm gonna guess it's the mortgage rates. It means mortgage rates.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yes. Yes. Yeah. What are you gonna guess?

[Bobby Lee]

I think. I think it's unfortunately referring to little people.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Oh, really?

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, why would. Why would that have any effect on the housing market?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because these houses, you know, they got. There's so many of them in one house. There's like 50 of them in there.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I ate these mussels the other day and made my donkey burn.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, is this a new word?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Tip of penis?

[Bobby Lee]

No, butthole.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Butthole. Oh, so kundingi is the cheek part?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Donkey milk is the hole.

[Bobby Lee]

Everybody knows Google. Google Lisa Gilroy for us right there.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's find out the best. Let's see the best photo she's got on the Internet.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, I want to see the first one.

[Andrew Santino]

She's vulnerable.

[Bobby Lee]

She's vulnerable. She's vulnerable.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, what's Mad tv?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's so funny. Lisa Gilroy. Time out. Hold on. Did you Google Lisa Gilroy? Hot.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Stop. Because if you write hot after, sometimes it'll be like cleavage shot. Oh, that's gross.

[Bobby Lee]

That's gross.

[Lisa Gilroy]

First one. She's already. Let's rate the first one.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm doing okay rating it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. What's going on here?

[Andrew Santino]

I'll press it.

[Bobby Lee]

Do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll press it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Do it.

[Bobby Lee]

My dad works for them.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he does. Fucking son of a pig.

[Lisa Gilroy]

You're being. What is it? You're contemplating something, right? Can we ask if you. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Like. I'm over it.

[Bobby Lee]

Watch this.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's what this looks like. I'm over it. I don't. I'm unaffected.

[Bobby Lee]

Click this. Click the next one. Click it. Keep going through them. Ready? Ready. Watch. Go to start with the first one and then click close after I say the word Ready? Over the first one.

[Andrew Santino]

This is Nightmare on Elms.

[Bobby Lee]

Ready?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And farted. Farted. Farted.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Farted.

[Bobby Lee]

Farted.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Thought about farting?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, Farted.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, that's definitely farted.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty fart. Didn't fart.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's actually a cute one right there. That's very cute. It.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, farting.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Like a farting on the street.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm in Mexico City. I'm bicultural.

[Andrew Santino]

Party on the street.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Too much. Let's go to the last photo.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, by the way, you were great in Jury duty.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. You know who's the. I just did a show, a TV show with the judge. You know who the judge is, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Alan Bernholtz.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's right. Ike Bernholz's dad.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, whoa. Really?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Nepotism.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What's this here?

[Bobby Lee]

Little nepotism there?

[Andrew Santino]

Looks like that was a shoot for a magazine.

[Bobby Lee]

What magazine?

[Andrew Santino]

It was like a bed fart girl. Bed fartgirl.com.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Have you ever been in a magazine?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sure you're a subscriber.

[Bobby Lee]

I am actually monthly.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Have you ever been in a magazine?

[Bobby Lee]

Have I ever been a magazine? Who the fuck is going to put me in a magazine?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Exactly. Me either. I feel the same way. But they put this piece of shit on.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean? She's cool and smart.

[Lisa Gilroy]

That's right. My bad.

[Bobby Lee]

She's got all the jazz, dude.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

If someone takes weird pictures of you, they'll put them in a magazine. That's how it works.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. That's not why you're in a magazine.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby, stand up right now and flash me your tits, and I'll take a picture and I'll. I guarantee you that same magazine will buy it. Go on.

[Bobby Lee]

What magazine is that? I don't know what that is. That's from 1883.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Okay, hold.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Oh, oh. Hold on.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me put it in a portrait. That'll make it good. Good. Okay. Perfect. Thank you. Okay. Santino, do you want anything to submit to the magazine?

[Lisa Gilroy]

If I don't get in a magazine, we're done.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Ready?

[Andrew Santino]

Yep. Just a little cheese.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh. Oh, it's a weird.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's good.

[Bobby Lee]

A good photo.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Put Google Bobby Lee in a magazine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'm not a magazine.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, and they'll go, bobby Lee magazine. Wait, it was already Google Magazine Magazine.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby, is that your computer back there?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Nope. Oh, you're on the Observer.

[Lisa Gilroy]

They put any Asian person, and that's what comes up. Give me the second photo. Yeah, not me. That's third photo.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a great show.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Oh, the fourth one is me. I was on a magazine.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that?

[Bobby Lee]

That's Korean Korea.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby Lee gets HIV wish. Is that what that says?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Lisa Gilroy]

His wish.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I couldn't see because it was covered by your bracelet.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Who would wish for that?

[Lisa Gilroy]

And the girl to the very far left on that photo, I worked with after that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, worked with Pervert. What does that even mean?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I did these Korean dramas in on MAD tv.

[Andrew Santino]

What's my tv?

[Lisa Gilroy]

It's a little sketch show that was on for a little bit.

[Andrew Santino]

Never heard of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well, that's nice. You guys run magazines? Oh, there's bitcoin. Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm just kidding. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, look at me. Bobby.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I'm not gonna look at you, cuz.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm a fan of it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

No, you're not.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, I am.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What's the third? Fourth? What's that one right there? Not that one. That one. What is that?

[Bobby Lee]

Probably the band.

[Lisa Gilroy]

The band Bobby Lee. Yeah. Yeah. Go to that one where I'm holding the Uriah picture.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's fun.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. Anyway, Jen Rosenstein, Andrew Santino magazine. Let's go.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not in a magazine. I've told you that. I've never done a magazine.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no mag. I'm not in a magazine.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Seen anything for Andrew here?

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yes, I was. Yes, I was. That down to the left, where I'm in the golf Cart. I was in a magazine.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's nice. Golf Digest.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Digest Golf.

[Andrew Santino]

That's cool.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, you're in a magazine too. You lied.

[Bobby Lee]

I forgot that I did that.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah, I forgot about the Korean m. I'm sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so I didn't lie. I forgot. You forgot too.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay. We for both forgot. I'm sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

What does it say that you have.

[Lisa Gilroy]

A celebrity group chat?

[Andrew Santino]

Do you?

[Bobby Lee]

About Bobby?

[Andrew Santino]

Who's in it?

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, name someone. I'll tell you if they're in it.

[Andrew Santino]

Jim Carrey.

[Bobby Lee]

Yep.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Lisa.

[Bobby Lee]

He's not.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Go on, Lisa.

[Andrew Santino]

You think there's big famous people that I'll guess, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Quentin Tarantino.

[Bobby Lee]

Nailed it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Lisa, can I be honest with you?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, please.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Bobby, I want to be real with you. And he's going to start a fight between us, okay? Okay. His group and his demographic of people that he hangs out with is. Is star studded.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, okay.

[Lisa Gilroy]

And I don't have anybody.

[Bobby Lee]

They all have studs on their jackets. Little stud stars.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I mean, I can name some names, but the places he goes with, the people that he goes to. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

How come he doesn't invite you?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Look at this. Who's in the front row of a basketball game? Celtics game.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, the Menendez brothers did that.

[Bobby Lee]

That's exactly right.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They were on basketball cards.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. I wish.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

So, Bobby.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How come you don't hang out with the Star Studded crew?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Maybe because I'm not a star.

[Andrew Santino]

God, you are a star, you piece of man.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Hey, that was rude. That was bad on. My bad.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm trying to tell you you're sorry.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Brother, brother, sister. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, brother, brother.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Okay, now we gotta really gotta get. I have to leave now. Literally.

[Andrew Santino]

I gotta go. I gotta. I gotta show.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I literally. At 7:40.

[Andrew Santino]

Literally. I gotta do my set. I gotta go. I gotta go.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't go.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Thank you for being a bad friend. Say that in the thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you for being a bad friend, Bobby. It stands for Cat Way.

[Bobby Lee]

Catway.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Catway.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Stands for Cat Way.

[Bobby Lee]

Not gonna do it.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Bobby, I don't understand.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

I don't understand.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby, look at me.

[Lisa Gilroy]

Explain it to me.

[Andrew Santino]

The. The improv.

[Bobby Lee]

What? The cat way.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. About six pounds, you guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that a part of the show?

[Lisa Gilroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it smells like updog in here. Here, Bobby.

[Lisa Gilroy]

What's up, dog?

[Andrew Santino]

Not much. You see?

[Lisa Gilroy]

I fell for it, dude. And I feel shame.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, up do j.