New Episode of Bad Friends Today on Patreon

Summary

Bad Friends: Patreon Exclusive Episode

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Date: April 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively Bad Friends Patreon episode, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino return to the studio with their signature banter, improvisational comedy, and candid self-deprecation. The main thread revolves around their upcoming live show at the "Netflix is a Joke" festival, ticket sales anxieties, and playful discussions about bodily functions and random global factoids.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mafia-Style Banter and Characters

• The episode kicks off with Bobby and Andrew in full-on improvisational mode, riffing as "Tony Bag of Donuts" and "Jimmy Small Eyes," laying down thick Brooklyn/New York accents.
• Notable Moment:
  • "Tony Bag."
  • "How you doing? From Brooklyn." (00:12–00:15)
• They riff about knowing people, classic mob tropes, and take lighthearted digs at each other's personas.

2. Patreon Plug & Show Promotion

• The hosts encourage fans to join Patreon for more behind-the-scenes and uncensored content.
• Quote (Andrew Santino, 00:47):
  • “And to get more comedy like this.”
• They directly shift to discussing their show at the Netflix is a Joke Festival.

3. “Netflix is a Joke” Festival Anxiety & Ticket Sales

• Bobby thanks fans who have bought tickets, but both hosts acknowledge anxieties over low sales figures.
• Memorable Exchange:
  • Andrew: "All 12 of you." (01:02)
  • Bobby: "It's undersold." (01:07)
• The conversation delves into their bruised egos and comparative status among comedians on the festival lineup.
• Quote (Bobby Lee, 01:38):
  • "God, look at that. That's bad."
• They compare their show at the YouTube Theater to giants like Mulaney, Schultz, and Matt Rife at the Hollywood Bowl.
• Bobby: “We're above Matt Rife at the Hollywood Bowl, which is way bigger. And I bet he sold it out.” (02:27)
• Andrew: “He already sold the Hollywood Bowl.” (02:32)

4. Apology for 'Netherworld Farts'

• Bobby sidesteps to apologize for his earlier “netherworld farts," describing the aftereffects in an elaborate, humorous way.
• Quote (Bobby Lee, 02:40):
  • "What happened today, I was doing what I describe as netherworld farts."
• Andrew confirms the impact: "It bothered me like it was crazy." (02:54)
• The two riff on the lingering nature of farts, bringing in a made-up "closed the Strait of Hormuz" analogy.
• Memorable Analogy (Bobby Lee, 03:15–03:36):
  • “I closed the Strait of Hormuz. You know, I closed it. I'm charging a toll. [...] We control the Strait of Hormuzu.”

5. Tangent: Global Trade, Helium & Fertilizer

• The fart analogy amusingly leads to a tangent about the Strait of Hormuz's real-world importance—specifically, global supply of helium and fertilizer.
• Quick-fire facts and playful material ensues:
  • "20, 30% of helium comes from that area." (03:46)
  • Andrew jokes about using helium for "balloons for birthday parties... whippet tanks at jam shows." (04:04)
  • Bobby drops more: "Fertilizer, like, 20, 30% goes through there."
• The segment ends with a flurry of jokes about sustainable living:
  • Andrew: "Well, we can just start pooping outside. Start growing your own crops, pooping your own yard." (04:25)
  • Bobby: "Yeah. So you know, if you poop, that's how I'm going to make my potatoes." (04:29)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Andrew Santino (01:02): "All 12 of you."
• Bobby Lee (03:15): “I closed the street of Hormuz. You know, I closed it. I'm charging a toll.”
• Andrew Santino (03:45): “20, 30% of helium comes from that area.”
• Andrew Santino (04:04): “Yeah, balloons for birthday parties. Yeah, you gotta have helium for balloons.”
• Andrew Santino (04:25): “Well, we can just start pooping outside. Start growing your own crops, pooping your own yard.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–00:46: Mafia-style banter, “Tony Bag of Donuts” and “Jimmy Small Eyes” characters
• 00:47–01:37: Patreon plug and discussion about ticket sales
• 01:38–02:37: Festival competition talk; comparing to other comedians
• 02:40–03:39: Bobby apologizes for “netherworld farts”; “closed the Strait of Hormuz” analogy
• 03:46–04:32: Tangent on helium, fertilizer, and making potatoes from poop

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Tone and Style

The episode radiates the classic Bad Friends style—irreverent, quick-witted, and always one tangent away from descending into absurdity. Bobby and Andrew keep their self-deprecation lighthearted, bouncing off each other with familiar chemistry, and pepper the conversation with high-energy improv.

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This summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting its best comedic bits and the hosts’ unfiltered dynamic—ideal for both regular listeners and first timers.

Transcript

[A]

Oh, my God. It's so weird to be back in the studio and hearing how you doing? How you doing?

[B]

How you doing?

[A]

Tony Bag of donuts.

[B]

You're Tony?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bag of donuts.

[A]

I'm Tony Bag of donuts.

[B]

I'm Jimmy Small Eyes.

[A]

Tony Bag.

[B]

How you doing? From Brooklyn.

[A]

I know somebody.

[B]

What are we doing here?

[A]

I know somebody who knows somebody will make it. So you don't know nobody?

[B]

Yeah. You know what you do? Oh, whoa. Oh, you. You look like my cousin Aisha.

[A]

Donnie.

[B]

Tony.

[A]

Tony. Tony.

[B]

Is that your name?

[A]

My name's Tony.

[B]

Your name is Tony. I'm Jimmy. How you doing?

[A]

Tony?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm from Brooklyn. Where you from?

[A]

New York.

[B]

New York. How you doing? New York. All you New Yorkers out there, how you doing?

[A]

And to get more comedy like this.

[B]

Yeah, go to our Patreon.

[A]

Please go.

[B]

We're in a war.

[A]

We're in a war.

[B]

We're in a war.

[A]

I'll say this to the fans. I want to thank all the fans that have bought tickets so far to the May 8th Netflix is a joke festival.

[B]

All 12 of you. And let me say this.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's undersold.

[B]

It's undersold. Yeah.

[A]

Let's break it up. Let's hurt our ego.

[B]

Yeah, let's hurry. Let's hurt it. Let's hurt it real quick.

[A]

I think it's under 40%.

[B]

Is it under 40%? Really?

[A]

I think so, yeah.

[B]

Is the blue good?

[A]

Blue's bad.

[B]

Blue is bad.

[A]

Blue is all the people that have not bought the tickets.

[B]

So when is this?

[A]

It's in a month.

[B]

Well, we'll pump it.

[A]

I hope so, because it's.

[B]

You know, back in Brooklyn, we used to bump it.

[A]

Hey, guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're gonna start pumping it.

[B]

You were gonna pump it? Back in Brooklyn, we used to bump it.

[A]

God, look at that. That's bad.

[B]

Well, we're competing against so many people.

[A]

Who else is? Per Google, who else is performing for Netflix as a joke on May 8? It says John Mulaney, Jelly Roll, and Andrew Soul to the Greek. We are at the YouTube Theater. Matt Rife is at the Hollywood Bowl. Stamp Town. Our boy Zack Zucker, Ronnie Hassan Minaj and Ronnie Chang at the Dolby Theater.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, you guys are like the 10th most famous dude.

[A]

First of all, we're fourth on the list.

[B]

We. We are fourth on list.

[A]

So it goes Mulaney Schultz and Jelly Roll.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then us. We're third with her.

[B]

You guys are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's What I meant. No, that's not what you meant. No, I meant. What you meant is that you want to get fired. That's what you meant.

[A]

And by the way, we're above Matt rife at the Hollywood bowl, which is way bigger. And I bet he sold it out.

[B]

Already sold it out.

[A]

He already sold the Hollywood Bowl.

[B]

I want to apologize real quick. If I. If I may.

[A]

I also was. Oh. What?

[B]

I want to apologize to you. To me, if I may.

[A]

Yeah, please.

[B]

What happened today, I was doing what I describe as netherworld farts.

[A]

Honestly.

[B]

Yeah, it was like ball the demon. Did you smell my cone? Yeah. You walked away one time.

[A]

It bothered me like it was crazy.

[B]

It was one of those far parts that lingered. I'll tell you this right now, from Brooklyn, they lingered. And my point is, is this. I felt so bad. I, I. And I kept apologizing. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[A]

My fear was that if the guests smell that, they're gonna be.

[B]

Yeah. And you know what happened? I.

[A]

You held it in.

[B]

I closed the street of Hormuz. You know, I closed it. I'm charging a toll. Okay.

[A]

I'll tell you something. There won't be any gas coming out of there for a long time.

[B]

Let me tell you right now. The

[A]

closed off the strain.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. We control the strain of Hormuzu.

[A]

And you really do control it.

[B]

Yeah, we do control. So I closed it off like strain of Hormuz. And the only thing that's getting in it in is a little fertilizer and some helium.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe a little oil. But my point is that those are the things that are being. You know what I mean? Yeah, the guys, 20, 30% of helium comes from that area.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

If you don't know. Hell yeah. I mean, how do. What do we make out of helium chips? Computer chips, Balloons and. Well, for.

[A]

Yeah, balloons for birthday parties. Yeah, you gotta have helium for balloons.

[B]

I understand.

[A]

And for whippet tanks at jam shows.

[B]

I understand that. But the more.

[A]

I love whippets, dude.

[B]

I know you do.

[A]

It's so fun.

[B]

They're fun. But anyway, so the chips are very important. And then fertilizer, like, 20, 30 of the fertilizer goes. Goes through there.

[A]

Well, we can just start pooping outside. Start growing your own crops, pooping your own yard.

[B]

Yeah. So you know, if you poop, that's how I'm going to make my potatoes.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah.