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A
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B
So I gave you $100 to go to Wii Spot. Why? Because you're sleeping in the studio? Because your apartment, there's some sort of disaster.
C
There's lead in the walls.
B
Yeah. How do you even know that? Dude. What are you, Superman?
D
I didn't.
C
Can you see through the walls at home?
B
Wait, wait. Can Superman see through lead or get X ray vision? He can't see through lead. I don't think.
C
What do you mean he can see that there's lead in the walls?
B
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.
C
Superman cannot see through lead.
B
That's what I'm saying. I just told you that.
C
How can he not see through lead?
B
I know. Out of all the things lead. I can see through lead.
C
The guy can train.
B
Yeah.
C
He can jump over a building that's 50 stories high.
B
Yeah.
C
He can't see through lead.
B
I know.
C
Give me a break.
B
He can see through copper.
C
But lead is known for its density and ability to block X rays. That's why lead aprons are used in medical settings to prevent patients and Superman from coming in and taking over a small business.
B
And Lex Luthor, probably his fortress or whatever. His little compound full of lead.
C
Full of lead.
B
Yeah. Anyway, I gave you $100. I don't know why we got. Oh, the lead at your apartment. And what I'm going to say is then I said the Go sleep at Wii Spa, which is a Korean spa in Korean Koreatown, open 24 7. It's a nice spa. There's a restaurant, there's a bunch of facilities. Dry sauna, workout.
C
You're over 5, 8. It's hard to sleep in those beds.
D
Yeah.
C
I'm just telling you why. Because they're short. They're for little Asian. They're not made for full sized adults.
D
Yeah, that was the big issue.
B
But you also had an issue with the cleanliness of it. Or no. Or no. It's a very clean place.
D
I don't know, it's just a thing about like because you are naked. Being naked with a bunch of strangers in like a soup, like hot tub is just very. It's odd soup. That's what it felt like.
B
Like I never, I would never. I Never went to Cantor's. Can I get the Wii spa soup?
D
That's what it felt like. I was a boy.
B
Like, what are you talking about?
C
You wouldn't.
B
It's water.
C
You would have never lasted a day. In ancient Rome, we used to do that all the time. I remember back in back, you and.
B
You and I, dude. Love, love. And we mixed it with other species.
C
Oh, yeah. There were.
B
There are monkeys running around. Yeah, yeah.
C
Hey, honestly, this is my problem with this, though. He says. He goes, he can't. The bed's too small. Blah, blah, blah. And I said, I already offered you to sleep at the house multiple times.
B
Your house.
C
Turn it down.
B
Yeah.
C
Oh, he showers at my house. He showered there a few times already. And I said, you're more than welcome, dude. But he. I think he likes the sadness of sleeping at the studio.
D
I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I like being able to come and go at my own.
C
Well, that's. That's really what it is. You're allowed to at my house.
D
I know.
C
He just doesn't. He feels like he doesn't want to. I don't want to intrude. I know.
B
It was. It reminds me of this. When I was struggling for a very long time in this business, I knew I had friend. You know, you. You know, headliners are millionaires. Yeah, right. But, like, you can't pay rent, right? So, like, should I call so and so. And I was always so. I'd only call my parents.
C
Oh, because you're afraid of inconvenience.
B
I think that's what it is.
D
Yeah.
C
But also, you're like, they don't want me in the house. I'm just a pig.
D
And it's fine here. I like the couch.
B
And then Mencio would like, bro, fuck again, dude. Like, every three days, he's 500 bucks, bro. But what the fuck, bro?
C
Well, you're struggling.
B
Yeah, I was struggling.
C
He's making 500 bucks a minute.
B
Paulie never did. You just. It's a part of your story, dude. Not eating, dude. It's a part of your story, brah. He's right, right? And I'm like, okay, I won't eat.
C
One time, I heard a story from San Die Danto. Did I tell you this story on here? Yeah, that Paulie. One time they went out for lunch. They went out for subway when they were on the road together.
B
I have some stories, too. Yeah, go.
C
They run for. They went out for a subway. And Paulie goes. Sandy's like, we'll Just take a look at an Italian footlong. And Paulie goes, smart, dude, half now. And eat the other half Dinner.
B
Yeah, yeah.
C
The other half for dinner.
B
Yeah, yeah.
C
And he did it. And then Sandy was like, kind of wanted the whole thing now. And he was like, nah, dude. Yeah, half now, half later.
B
I used to go on the road. He would go, dude, it's your time to pay, dude.
C
No.
B
Yeah, dude. I'm like, where are we going, potbelly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sandwiches, bro.
C
Why don't we go to cvs? We'll just get some snacks.
B
But he was always gracious and I love Paulie, but another time, I already told you the Jamba Juice story, right?
C
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
We've already said that many times in this part. Yeah, yeah. And I'm gonna say it again.
C
Say it.
E
This episode is brought to you by FX's alien Earth, the official podcast. Each week, host Adam Rogers is joined by guests, including the show's creator, cast and co host crew. In this exclusive companion podcast, they will explore story elements, deep dive into character motivations, and offer an episode by episode, behind the scenes breakdown of each terrifying chapter in this new series. Search FX's alien Earth. Wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Summary By: [Your Podcast Summarizer]
In this episode, Bobby and Andrew riff on the comic hardships of life, the generosity (and stinginess) of showbiz buddies, and quirky experiences at a Los Angeles Korean spa. Personal anecdotes, playful roasting, and signature absurdity run throughout as the hosts reflect on friendship, pride, and the weird realities of stand-up life.
Bobby and Andrew maintain their familiar, irreverent and free-association style—mixing real vulnerability about hard times with constant tangents, mythic exaggeration, and affectionate roasting.
You’ll learn about the weird ways comics get by during lean years, why pride keeps people from accepting help, and how laughing at suffering is part of the gig. Standout sections include the detailed riffing on spa etiquette and the generational wisdom of surviving on half a sub sandwich.
(Advertisements and filler content were omitted for clarity.)