Ozempic Pukes & Santino's Spooky Birthday

Summary

Podcast Title: Bad Friends
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Episode Title: Ozempic Pukes & Santino's Spooky Birthday
Production: A 7EQUIS Production
Knowledge Cutoff: October 2023

---

Introduction

In this lively episode of Bad Friends, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino dive into a blend of personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and candid discussions. The episode, titled "Ozempic Pukes & Santino's Spooky Birthday," revolves around Bobby's recent challenging camping experience, Andrew's birthday celebrations, and their ongoing journey with the weight-loss medication Ozempic. The hosts also engage in playful banter with a special guest, John Goblin, adding an extra layer of entertainment to the show.

---

Bobby's Tough Camping Trip

[08:57] Bobby Lee: "I was in Canada, in the woods, north of Toronto, doing an extreme camping thing as a favor for a friend."

Bobby recounts his harrowing experience of enduring ten days in the Canadian wilderness, where he faced harsh weather conditions, lack of sleep, and subpar food. He humorously describes learning survival skills like making traps and tents:

[11:18] Bobby Lee: "I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I was frozen solid, wet all the time. It kept raining. The food was just terrible."

Despite the misery, Bobby highlights his attempts to innovate traditional trapping methods:

[12:07] Bobby Lee: "I put candy corn in the traps to catch dwarves."

Andrew humorously teases Bobby about his unconventional methods, sparking laughter and light-hearted commentary throughout the segment.

---

Andrew's Birthday and Heartfelt Messages

The episode takes a heartfelt turn when Bobby reads a touching birthday message he sent to Andrew:

[07:55] Bobby Lee: "Happy birthday, Andrew. I just want to say you're one of my favorite people I've ever met. You're not only a friend, but family to me."

Andrew responds with gratitude, emphasizing the deep bond between the two friends:

[08:01] Andrew Santino: "I appreciate your friendship more than I can say. You're my family forever."

This exchange underscores the strong camaraderie and mutual respect that anchors their friendship, providing listeners with an emotional touch amidst the humor.

---

Ozempic Journey and Personal Struggles

A significant portion of the episode delves into Bobby's experience with Ozempic, a weight-loss medication:

[15:14] Bobby Lee: "I'm taking Ozempic."

Bobby shares his initial skepticism and subsequent challenges with the medication, including overeating and the physical toll it has taken on him:

[13:21] Bobby Lee: "I ate a lot. Like a burrito and taquitos."

The conversation shifts to the emotional impact of body image and societal perceptions:

[16:38] Bobby Lee: "They say I'm fat. It hurts my feelings."

Andrew offers comforting words, assuring Bobby of his worth beyond physical appearance:

[17:29] Andrew Santino: "You are beautiful just the way you are."

Despite the support, Bobby grapples with internal conflicts about his self-image and the pressure to conform to certain standards.

---

Halloween Antics and Nostalgia

As Halloween approaches, the hosts reminisce about their past trick-or-treating experiences and share stories that highlight their mischievous sides:

[39:02] Bobby Lee: "Let's do it. Remember when we used to throw eggs at houses when we trick or treated?"

They discuss costumes, childhood antics, and the fun (and sometimes trouble) that comes with celebrating the spooky season. This segment is filled with laughter and playful nostalgia, resonating with listeners who share similar memories.

---

Special Guest: John Goblin

In a unique twist, Bad Friends welcomes a special guest, John Goblin, who brings his own brand of humor and interaction to the show:

[49:04] Bobby Lee: "We have a guy that I've done his show. Have you done his interaction?"

John Goblin engages in a comical exchange with Bobby and Andrew, involving playful teasing and improvisational humor. Their interaction is marked by spontaneous jokes and lighthearted conflict, showcasing the dynamic chemistry between the hosts and their guest.

Notable Quote:

[51:36] Andrew Santino: "He's on Ozempic."

This line adds to the running gag about Bobby's Ozempic journey, intertwining it seamlessly into the guest interaction.

---

Discussion on Favorite Horror Movies

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts shift gears to discuss their favorite horror movies, blending their personal tastes with humorous critiques:

[28:42] Andrew Santino: "My favorite horror movie of all time is White Chicks."

[28:56] Bobby Lee: "I thought it was about a Southern country club."

Their humorous misinterpretations and playful debates about films like Let the Right One In and Hereditary underscore their comedic rapport and ability to entertain through casual conversation.

---

Conclusion and Reflections

The episode wraps up with reflections on their friendship, personal growth, and the challenges they've faced together. Bobby's openness about his struggles with Ozempic and body image invites listeners to connect on a deeper level, while the humorous anecdotes and guest interactions provide a balance of entertainment and authenticity.

[63:38] Bobby Lee: "I want to read me. Right? It's so great that we don't have to get you an Uber because you have your fucking broom."

This final exchange encapsulates the essence of Bad Friends—a blend of heartfelt moments, unfiltered humor, and the enduring bond between Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino.

---

Key Takeaways

• Friendship and Support: The episode underscores the importance of friendship and emotional support, especially during personal struggles.

• Humor Amidst Challenges: Bobby and Andrew adeptly use humor to navigate and discuss serious topics, making the conversation relatable and engaging.

• Personal Growth: Bobby's candid discussion about his experiences with Ozempic highlights themes of self-acceptance and the complexities of body image.

• Engaging Guest Interactions: The inclusion of John Goblin adds diversity to the conversation, showcasing the hosts' ability to interact humorously with guests.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bobby Lee on Camping Struggles:
  [11:18] "I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I was frozen solid, wet all the time. It kept raining. The food was just terrible."

• Andrew Santino's Comforting Words:
  [17:29] "You are beautiful just the way you are."

• Bobby Lee on Ozempic Challenges:
  [15:14] "I'm taking Ozempic."

• Humorous Guest Interaction:
  [51:36] "He's on Ozempic."

• Bobby Lee on First Trick-or-Treating Antics:
  [39:02] "Let's do it. Remember when we used to throw eggs at houses when we trick or treated?"

---

Conclusion

"Bad Friends" delivers a well-rounded episode that intertwines humor, personal storytelling, and meaningful conversations. Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino's chemistry shines through as they navigate topics ranging from personal struggles with Ozempic to nostalgic Halloween memories. The episode serves as a testament to their enduring friendship and their ability to engage listeners with an authentic and entertaining dialogue.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huell. Your go to for complete nutrition, try.

[Andrew Santino]

Huell with 15% off today using code BAD FRIENDS at my.huell.com BAD FRIENDS.

[Bobby Lee]

You two are BAD FRIENDS.

[Andrew Santino]

For these two idiots.

[Bobby Lee]

We'Re BAD FRIENDS.

[Andrew Santino]

Be.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you supposed to be? Grilled cheese.

[Unknown]

That's what I said.

[Andrew Santino]

You said cheeseburger.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, you did. Guys, she said it.

[Bobby Lee]

You're grilled cheese.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I am? I'm beans on toast. Yeah, I'm beans on toast.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I am?

[Andrew Santino]

Ben on toast.

[Bobby Lee]

You know who I am? Spring roll, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Spring roll.

[Bobby Lee]

Spring roll right here.

[Andrew Santino]

That's my friend over there. Spring roll.

[Bobby Lee]

And what we got where? Tomorrow.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm beautiful. That's my friend.

[Bobby Lee]

Tomorrow.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

God damn, you're scary. Samara.

[Andrew Santino]

We'll cover your face up more.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now that looks good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Nice. Ooh.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you Steve Aoki? I can't tell. What are you doing tomorrow? Okay. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That looks rad. Are you gonna trick or treat? You still trick or treat, don't you?

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's always fun. Are you. Do you trick or treat?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I haven't trick or treated. I don't remember the last time.

[Andrew Santino]

We should go.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it legal?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

For us to trick or treat.

[Bobby Lee]

I've never seen adults do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me tell you something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We can only treat. No tricking out of you, bud.

[Bobby Lee]

All right? Oh, I love you.

[Andrew Santino]

Can't be tricking in them streets. Only treats.

[Bobby Lee]

My back in the day. Only treatment.

[Andrew Santino]

So ding dong, binge on toast. Ding dong, binge on toast. Here we go with binge on toast. Honestly, when you do this, I do it. You know who we're fans of? Arsenal Football Club. We're the goners.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Ding dong, beans on toast.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God, you're on fire today.

[Andrew Santino]

Love it.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it.

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Best costume I've ever had. This rivals. When I was a kid, I was. I was. What is it, Little Orph? Wait, no, no, no. Andy and. No. Andy. Andy and Raggedy Ann and Andy. Look up. That. My mom made me wear this one time.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't choose that. Your parents did.

[Andrew Santino]

My mother put me as Raggedy Andy from Raggedy Ann and Andy.

[Bobby Lee]

She didn't need to do much. Me and.

[Andrew Santino]

What did you just say?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, what'd you say, man?

[Andrew Santino]

You think I got a triangle nose? Is that what you're trying to say? Dude, I got a big red triangle nose. You know who these two guys are? You know who they are?

[Bobby Lee]

I know what is who? Let me guess.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, let her guess.

[Bobby Lee]

I get a guess, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Who do you think Fancy and Carlos are?

[Unknown]

What? Can I have clues?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they're wearing the costume. That's the clue.

[Bobby Lee]

I think Andres is a city porg. You know, like a porg got off that planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then got a job in the city.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you not know? You don't know who they are? Dude, this is a great opportunity.

[Bobby Lee]

I know what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

What are they, Bert and Ernie? That's right, because they're gay.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa, that laugh, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty close. No, dude, they're the Menendez brothers.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, they are? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, they're good.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it Lyle and Eric? Who's who? Which one's which?

[Unknown]

Eric's a handsome one.

[Andrew Santino]

Eric is the handsome one. So neither of you. So you're both Lyle. Just two Lyles.

[Bobby Lee]

And then mcon is Hannibal Lecter.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you doing? I just wanted to muffle her.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you want to do. What'd you want to do? All these years, you still can't get a joke out? I want the tomato fame. Get it out, idiot. What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

Muffle him.

[Andrew Santino]

Muffle him. I wanted to marvel him. He's Hannibal Lecter. He looked. That looks actually red. Stand up by the box real fast so we can see the. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Young Hannibal.

[Andrew Santino]

Very cool. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't wink, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

That is such a creepy costume. I like that a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty good. Where'd you get the mask? At Amazon. Okay, well, you bought it for him. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He asked you, where did you get the mask from? Easy opportunity for a joke. He goes right to Amazon.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't do it so literal. Where'd you get the mask from?

[Bobby Lee]

Let's do it again. Yeah, let's try to get another joke out, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Where'd you get the mask from? Your mom's house.

[Andrew Santino]

The podcast network?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Girl had it. No, your mom's house in Phoenix.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's. Interesting approach. Yeah, I don't know if that's gonna work for you, bud.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's not gonna work. That made me mad. I've been to her house. Yeah, yeah, with her. It makes sense. Where'd you get the mask at?

[Andrew Santino]

Try it again.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, down in Essex, where you live, Mr. Beans on toast.

[Andrew Santino]

I see why these guys aren't comedy writers.

[Bobby Lee]

That's really good.

[Andrew Santino]

Jesus Christ.

[Bobby Lee]

Holy.

[Andrew Santino]

The Menendez. He's Spring Roll. Jelly Roll's second cousin.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Spring Roll. Spring Roll.

[Andrew Santino]

What's his famous song? What's the one he sings? Jelly Roll.

[Bobby Lee]

Why can't I. I did. I did do a show with him. I mean, show. I mean, I was on a show that he was on and. And. What a nice guy. Jelly Roll.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the name of the song? Can we hear it? Save Me. That's the one. Save Me is really famous, right?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to hear it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you want to hear it.

[Andrew Santino]

Just for a second.

[Bobby Lee]

I know what you're going to do. Can I take your instincts.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me guess. Your comedy instincts right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. No, I know. Okay, go do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Play it.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's see it. Play it.

[Andrew Santino]

S. 1, 2.

[Bobby Lee]

Save me, damn it.

[Andrew Santino]

Saving me from my.

[Bobby Lee]

Damn it.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. You beat me.

[Bobby Lee]

You beat me.

[Andrew Santino]

I was waiting to catch you off guard. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, that's really good.

[Andrew Santino]

That worked.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that was really good. Save me. Dude, you beat me to the.

[Andrew Santino]

Come on, Spring Roll. Let me hear you save me.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't even know what the song is.

[Andrew Santino]

Someone help. Have someone save me Save me from myself have someone.

[Bobby Lee]

Save me from my.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, very good.

[Bobby Lee]

Really good. Yeah. Oh, can I just tell you? What?

[Andrew Santino]

Ladies and gentlemen, Spring roll me from my step.

[Bobby Lee]

I got to tell you what's going on with me. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

What.

[Bobby Lee]

What if. What?

[Andrew Santino]

What's wrong?

[Bobby Lee]

Happy birthday, by the way.

[Andrew Santino]

I love you. Thank you so much. What are you going to tell me?

[Bobby Lee]

I would just. What's going on? What's. Why am I. Why I am.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to hear it. But can I also clear the air with something else? To the boys.

[Bobby Lee]

What's.

[Andrew Santino]

And you.

[Unknown]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby sent me the nicest text I've ever gotten on my birthday.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

The nicest text I've ever gotten on my birthday. The nicest.

[Bobby Lee]

Read it.

[Andrew Santino]

You want me to read it to everybody?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I want. I'm going to read it.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. All right.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going to tell you why I sent it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

After you read it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Here we go. By the way, people still think I gave you a quarter million dollar check.

[Bobby Lee]

I know every. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Are people the dumbest people on Earth? Are you guys all dumb?

[Bobby Lee]

They're great.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I love our fans, bro. What are we talking about? Do you guys really think I gave him a fucking. What are you talking about? All right, here we go. Don't do that. Don't do that. No, I'm sorry. All right. I apologize. Happy birthday, Andrew. I just want to say you're one of my favorite people I've ever met. You're not only a Friend, but family to me. You've been by my side during my toughest moments and I'll never forget it. That being said, no object can hold more value than my heartfelt words. And therefore I've gone with a non materialistic approach to your gift this year in quotes. Your gift is coming. I love you and happy birthday, brother. And I wrote back. Who wrote this? I wrote I love you so much.

[Bobby Lee]

I did. To me.

[Andrew Santino]

I appreciate your friend. I knew it took you a long time because it was really good. I appreciate your friendship more than I can say.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You're my family forever. And then we texted a little and then he sent a picture of throw up vomit.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I'm gonna tell you.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna tell you right after a.

[Bobby Lee]

Hard fest, I'm gonna tell you about what's going on for me. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you doing? What is going on? You're taking Ozempic for.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, let's. Can we just go? But let's rewind.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Can I rewind a little bit? Okay. First of all, I have a couple of great announcements to make.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I thought. I think the Penguins the. One of the best shows I've ever seen.

[Andrew Santino]

You do?

[Bobby Lee]

Have you seen it?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

That episode was very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Don't tell him. Don't give.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

I haven't seen it yet. I've been watching.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Great British Bake.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you seen it?

[Unknown]

Not yet.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, That's a great one too.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm on my gbb, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Me too, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Welcome to the Great British Viking Show. It's me. Beans on toast. Today you're going to be cooking a profile. A little bit of filling.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so that was good.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry. I do love the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I love it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's such a good show.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. When that guy got the handshake, I almost cried. I cried too.

[Andrew Santino]

It was un.

[Bobby Lee]

He was. He was in shock.

[Andrew Santino]

It was so emotional.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Paul.

[Andrew Santino]

It was.

[Bobby Lee]

It was a gochujang.

[Andrew Santino]

The gochujang. Biscuits.

[Bobby Lee]

Biscuits.

[Andrew Santino]

And he goes, I've never tasted anything like this before.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And he also, like rolled them up like. Like they're perfectly formed.

[Andrew Santino]

They were perfectly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He goes, you'll sell a million of those.

[Andrew Santino]

He should.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Can we get Paul Hollywood on the show?

[Bobby Lee]

Probably not.

[Andrew Santino]

Or Prue anyway. But you think Penguin number one, a great show, so I need to watch it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Colin Farrell and.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, don't throw up. Are you gonna throw up? I mentioned Kyle O'Farrell. He throws up because I want to.

[Bobby Lee]

Suck his dick so bad, my mouth gets lubed.

[Andrew Santino]

That good of an actor. Oh, bye.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so it's gonna be a tough episode.

[Bobby Lee]

It's gonna be great.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you gonna throw up again? Please don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Halloween.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna yak. If you throw up, it's Halloween. Please don't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Spooky stuff. What? Spooky stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

If you throw up, I'll throw up. I'm serious. Don't do it. Please don't throw up. I. I'm already getting moist mouth anyway.

[Bobby Lee]

Was that. Oh, the Romulus. Oh, no. Let's go back to the penguin.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry, are these announcements?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm gonna make it out. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, let me just do it, okay?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, yeah, Whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

But the real star of the character is Sophia Falcone. Is the. You. You fall in love with this character?

[Andrew Santino]

Sophia Falcone?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The name is incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. This woman, I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I love her.

[Bobby Lee]

She kills it.

[Andrew Santino]

She's from.

[Bobby Lee]

Your mother. How? My mother?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Did I see her? There's something else. She's in that Palm Springs time travel movie. Yes. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Kristen. Kristen Melody.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she kills it.

[Andrew Santino]

She's fucking awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

Her character is. So, anyway, let's go back to. Okay, so then alien Romulus was pretty good, too. Hey, let's go back to what was going on. Oh, yeah. So I'll get to the vomit in a second.

[Andrew Santino]

Can't wait.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. But so then you. You know, what happened? So I was in. For the last 10 days, I've been in Canada, in the woods. Yeah. In three hours, north of Toronto. And I was bamboozled into doing something. A favor for a friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Which is an extreme camping thing.

[Andrew Santino]

But you can't talk about it.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't talk about. Yeah, because it was like, the. One of the most miserable human experiences of my life. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I was frozen solid, wet all the time. It kept raining. The food, it was just fucking terrible.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn.

[Bobby Lee]

And I learned how to make traps. I learned how to make a tent. What's so funny?

[Unknown]

That's cool.

[Andrew Santino]

No, what kind of traps? Squirrel traps.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

What kind of what? For food?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Pussy traps. Oh, yeah. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Just laid money out all over the.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. Like, I put like. Well, they put these, like a granola. Like, you take the wood, you take a piece of a rock.

[Andrew Santino]

Yo.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

There's no way you know how to do that.

[Bobby Lee]

I learned how to do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but you forgot it Already.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I did a different thing.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

I made it my own.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I took the Kruger all out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I put candy corn.

[Andrew Santino]

You just ate the granola.

[Bobby Lee]

So I can trap dwarves.

[Andrew Santino]

You catch a Brad Williams?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. So I thought. I think if you switch them out, you can catch it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's smart.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, that would be so funny.

[Andrew Santino]

To watch Bobby setting up a trap in the woods. And they're like, where's all the granola? He just ate all the granola out of the traps.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What happened?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so. And then. So I didn't sleep for like 10 days.

[Andrew Santino]

Jesus.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I was in. I got in a fight with somebody every. I don't tell. I don't give a fuck. Robert Kelly, you know, I mean, Jim was. Norton was the only one I didn't get fight with. Yamani. I fought with. With the producer. Producer.

[Andrew Santino]

The director was bad. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

And so then last night, I race to Toronto to get on the flight. Flew here. And then my Ozympic was ready, but.

[Andrew Santino]

So I decided, what do they got to cook it up like meth? What do you mean it's ready? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They put in a fryer. Deep fried. They deep fried.

[Andrew Santino]

You have deep fried Ose.

[Bobby Lee]

So. So what happened was.

[Andrew Santino]

Come get your Zeppe, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. So how was. The pharmacy was ready for it. So I went. In my mind, it was the dumbest move I've ever made. I go, I'm just gonna gorge now.

[Andrew Santino]

You're gonna eat as much as you can right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? And then. So I ate a lot. Like a burrito and taquitos. Potato taquitos.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. I just taste the.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop it.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, right here.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Don't. Sorry. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween, everybody. Okay. So then I. I put in Zimbabwe again, but I hadn't digested all the food. But I haven't also slept in a week. So I go, I'm gonna sleep. But while I was sleeping, I tasted what I'm tasting now, which is potato taco. Taquitos, Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was laying on my back and I went, you know, like, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. We know.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't need to know Alien Romulus. Let's go back to Alien Romulus, right? You know when the punctures. No, you know, it's better. You know how the androids in Alien Romulus, when they get punctured, that little white fluid comes out of their mouth?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. I'm saying yes, so we can move on. I have no idea. You Feel it. You taste it in your mouth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I was like. And I just literally. And. And ask anyone. I don't. You don't have to ask anyone. I don't know who you would ask.

[Andrew Santino]

Ask them all.

[Bobby Lee]

Ask everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I've never vomited.

[Andrew Santino]

Has he ever vomited?

[Unknown]

I've never seen.

[Bobby Lee]

No one's ever seen me vomit.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Cuz I don't do it. I diarrhea all the time. Yeah, that's my thing.

[Andrew Santino]

That's your.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I go the other end. Yeah, the other end. I'm pro.

[Andrew Santino]

This. This is closed.

[Bobby Lee]

Closed off.

[Andrew Santino]

That thing's wide open.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, wide open. So then. Then I raced over here and. And it's like. So I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. You know, you can't eat full burritos and then go to bed, too. That's also bad outside of Ozempic, you know, supposed to, like, eat and then go to sleep.

[Bobby Lee]

That is double failure.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? Double failure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So how many are you on a do, like, a regimented dose now of Ozempic?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're taking it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why did you do this?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, do you want to hear the story?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's why I asked you.

[Bobby Lee]

Was something that was gonna keep a secret.

[Andrew Santino]

Let it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. I was with a woman.

[Andrew Santino]

We have to go on.

[Bobby Lee]

We're making out.

[Andrew Santino]

First base.

[Bobby Lee]

Then she stopped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Her body, her choice.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Yeah, yeah. Her choice.

[Andrew Santino]

Her body, her choice. Her body, her choice.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Her body, her choice.

[Bobby Lee]

And then she looked and she goes, I just. I'm not attracted to you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

And she goes, you're fat. You're fat. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, no, that's. Boo.

[Bobby Lee]

She called you. And I go, oh, she didn't realize until that moment.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Damn. Lyle for Lyle. Oh, character right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that was.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, The Menendez killers are hard. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I swear to God. Dude, that was good.

[Andrew Santino]

That was.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna let you have that one.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, and I'll tell you why. I liked it. It came out smoothly.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Finally.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the delivery was perfect.

[Andrew Santino]

He didn't miss a beat.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you didn't miss a beat. And I'll tell you another thing. Yeah, it hurt bad. Yeah, it hurt real bad.

[Andrew Santino]

So wait a minute. Did you have. Did you insult her? She said you're fat. Did you insult her back?

[Bobby Lee]

No. I go, oh, well, then.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, no, you got to take a shot back at her.

[Bobby Lee]

And then, like, what?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. I don't. I don't. I have to see your beautiful face. No.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. That's not good, right?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I do it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you know, I just kind of contemplated and I went, oh, I think I have to lose weight because a.

[Andrew Santino]

Woman called you fat.

[Bobby Lee]

I've been also seeing it. A feeling it, like, you know, I mean, like. Like when it's photos of me on stage.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I mean, it just doesn't look right to me.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, we Photoshop those. We make you look fatter in those on purpose.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, like all the ones that you try to put on. There I go. You got to take that off. You know, it's been an issue for like a year because I'm like, I don't like the way I look.

[Andrew Santino]

A year.

[Bobby Lee]

So you let again. She didn't realize it until then. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts again. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a min. You're beautiful just the way you are.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you are.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm done.

[Andrew Santino]

But I also don't want.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm on it.

[Andrew Santino]

Ozempic is bad.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not bad.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it is. Because you're going to get off. And they say as soon as you get off, it's bad. News bears.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not going to get off it.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you stand up for life?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, dude. I don't know what else to do.

[Unknown]

But you're not even fat. Fat.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you. You're not fat.

[Unknown]

You look good.

[Andrew Santino]

You do look like.

[Bobby Lee]

She didn't. That's not what she said.

[Andrew Santino]

Who the fuck is she?

[Bobby Lee]

She has eyeballs.

[Andrew Santino]

We have eyeballs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, but your eyeballs are. It come. Your eyeballs come with an already a. A feeling.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Because I. I want to. Because I feel people. I don't. You don't just judge based on one thing.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but we have history and there's a relationship that goes beyond a nonsense.

[Andrew Santino]

And maybe she needs to.

[Bobby Lee]

It has nothing to do with looks.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe she needs to create that with you.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. But she didn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, then, so why listen to her?

[Unknown]

She was the only one that complained. What about the other girls?

[Andrew Santino]

That's exactly right.

[Bobby Lee]

There's other girls have said, like, you could lose some weight.

[Andrew Santino]

She said you could lose some weight.

[Bobby Lee]

She was calling her doctor to see if she can get me. It was a big that. This is six months ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Russia was epic.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. She's like, I'm going to call my doctors to get you it now.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was like, oh, are there.

[Andrew Santino]

People selling the Oz on the streets? Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

It's hard to get that they're Running out of it. I'm just. Dude, ten days of survival, you know? I mean, and then you made it this. You know, I mean, because we're going to Australia and New Zealand and. But we have 10 days before Singapore. I'm not doing anything between.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going to rest my body.

[Andrew Santino]

Well. Or exercise.

[Bobby Lee]

Whatever. Whatever you mean. But anyway, that's what. So that's why I don't like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Somebody called you fat because it hurt your feelings, obviously. Why don't you call someone in this room fat to make it fair.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, big. I mean, but really hit him.

[Andrew Santino]

Really hit him.

[Bobby Lee]

Hit him.

[Andrew Santino]

Really hit him. Really? Yeah. Hit him hard, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's like when you take marshmallow and you over microwave it where it bubbles. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. What?

[Andrew Santino]

Delicious.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but you. That's not a human body you're gonna love.

[Andrew Santino]

I was watching the Great British Baking show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm sorry. That wasn't even. It wasn't even funny what I did.

[Andrew Santino]

It was funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Cut it out.

[Andrew Santino]

You know when.

[Bobby Lee]

That was so mean.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm watching the Great British Baking Show. You know when they're like, they needing the bread and then they put it in the proofing drawer. It has to proof and rise. You know, the guy opened the drawer. I'm not kidding.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

As it proved. I saw the show and rose and I remember I pointed and I go, andres. Yeah, there's fancy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

My little proofing drawer. Better. Is that a better slam?

[Bobby Lee]

Way better. Yeah. But you know what the funny thing is, is that I. I mean, that's the only thing that I can get you with is your pork tits, because everything else is perfect.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you have. Yeah. You have your whole. You have a great life, and it's been a pleasure working with you, and you're a talented director, and I don't think we'd be able to do the show without you.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Draft King Sportsbook.

[Andrew Santino]

The NBA is finally back. Finally back. You know, I like.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm excited. I'm taking you a Laker game.

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

A new season means new ways to get into the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA who's draining threes from beyond the arc. Bob, do you know?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. Who is it?

[Bobby Lee]

Carl Whitaker.

[Andrew Santino]

Carl Whitaker. Who's crashing the boards and grabbing rebounds?

[Bobby Lee]

Nathan Billingsley.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

That's Code Bad Friends for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets. When you bet just five bucks only.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

That's bluetooth.com promo code bad Friends to receive your first month for free. Visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast Adam and Eve. Hey, listen. What's that?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's somebody walking towards me.

[Andrew Santino]

That's my anal beads right now. Thanks to Adam and [e-mail] 50% off almost any item and free Shipping and rush processing. And the code is, of course, Bad Friends at checkout. This guy is a VIP member.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a VIP member. I get gadgets from Adam and Eve all the time. And let me say something. Bueno. Bueno. I love it, dude. I love. They get evolved, and they're getting more sophisticated.

[Andrew Santino]

It's incredible, right?

[Bobby Lee]

And it reaches the insides.

[Andrew Santino]

It reaches way deep on the inside.

[Bobby Lee]

And the feelings are very pure.

[Andrew Santino]

And they're mimicking all the new technology out there. You do you have stuff. I have stuff with the timer. I have one with a timer on it so in case I fall asleep having fun, it shuts off automatically.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Just go to AdamAndEve.com and select any one item. It could be adventurous, new toy, or anything you desire. Just enter the code Bad Friends at checkout.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

I read a book about a Korean boy, and he was living in Minnesota. Oh, God.

[Andrew Santino]

What happened?

[Bobby Lee]

What's going on? You read this book?

[Andrew Santino]

I feel like it sounds familiar.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is this.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's. Yeah, he's walking toward the field because during this. During the winter.

[Andrew Santino]

This is a John Carpenter book. It is. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I remember.

[Bobby Lee]

During the winters. You know what I mean? It's like a snowy, snowy field. It's ice gaining rink.

[Andrew Santino]

I see it.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a Zamboni in a shed.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a Zamboni out in a field.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but there's a gigantic shed that. A Zamboni is that they put it. And during the summers, a man who has mental disabilities, you know, I mean, is taking care of, like, mowing the lawns during the summer.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

And taking care of Zomboni in the field. Yeah. And he has candy in his. In this shed.

[Andrew Santino]

How much? What kind?

[Bobby Lee]

A lot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The good kind.

[Andrew Santino]

The good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Dip and dips.

[Andrew Santino]

Dip and dips.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So no dots. Just.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Dips.

[Bobby Lee]

Just. Just.

[Andrew Santino]

Just the dipsticks.

[Bobby Lee]

Dipsticks. You know, later. I thought it was his penis, but. But yeah, it was a great book.

[Andrew Santino]

Great book.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Tito. Tito. Happy birthday to you. You're not wearing any underwear, McCone.

[Andrew Santino]

It's hot.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

The smoke alarm's gonna go off.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's okay.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. Let him try. Happy birthday. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Andrew. Happy birthday to you. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Unknown]

Smells like barbecue.

[Bobby Lee]

41, huh? How's it feel?

[Andrew Santino]

You don't want to get kidnapped, do you? This is. This is awesome. This is a Rudy cake.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Is this.

[Andrew Santino]

You guys put this knife in there. This came like this. That's.

[Bobby Lee]

So. Is it a high end cake? Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa. We only get. Do you get photos of this?

[Bobby Lee]

What a great cake.

[Andrew Santino]

So dope.

[Bobby Lee]

What does it say down there?

[Andrew Santino]

Happy birthday, Santino.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Can we eat this? Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[John Goblin]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

Probably a couple bites.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, you gotta cut it up or something. Is this gutsy?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, gutsy.

[Bobby Lee]

Thanks, Paul.

[Andrew Santino]

This cake goes well with your something. Wow. Thank you, guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You're so funny today. You're on fire.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. What a nice shirt, dude. For golfing. That's a great shirt, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a great shirt.

[Andrew Santino]

Who did this? You did this. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

That is so nice.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a nice shirt.

[Andrew Santino]

That is so nice.

[Bobby Lee]

What a dope shirt.

[Andrew Santino]

That is dope. Do you guys have the receipt?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

What did you guys.

[Andrew Santino]

This is awesome. I forgot.

[Bobby Lee]

What'd you get me? What? No, no, I'm not mad.

[Andrew Santino]

We got you the cool butterfly cake.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That was.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not mad. No, I'm not mad.

[Andrew Santino]

That was dope.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not mad. It's probably my behavior. No, no, no. Let's get. No, I'm not mad. It's probably my behavior.

[Andrew Santino]

No one said you were.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so let me just get this out of the. Out in the open. I'm not mad. Okay? Yeah, I know. Enjoy your cake. So I got nothing. But it's fine, right? I wasn't here. It's fine. It's fine. And it's something that's okay, but it's probably something that I've done wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

It really. It really hurts my feelings. Why are you laughing? Rudy got you a lot of cool things for your birthday. Remember the ashtray?

[Andrew Santino]

Cutting my cake. Rudy, come here. Get a big piece. I mean, how is this.

[Bobby Lee]

What a Great cake.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you, guys.

[Unknown]

That's a big piece.

[Bobby Lee]

Happy Halloween.

[Andrew Santino]

Happy, happy Halloween. Happy Halloween.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we talk about our favorite horror movies?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yes.

[Bobby Lee]

What would you be yours?

[Andrew Santino]

My favorite horror movie of all time is white Chicks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Pretty scary.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your favorite horror movie?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I said for years, hereditary. But I think the best movie is Let the Right One In.

[Andrew Santino]

Let the Right One In. Shut the up. You even know what I'm saying?

[Bobby Lee]

Why do you say like that? Let the Right one. Why are you saying it like that? You saw it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a movie. Is now, that is.

[Bobby Lee]

What's it about?

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you exactly what. Have you ever seen Let the Right One In?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You've seen it?

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

What's it about?

[Andrew Santino]

What's it about?

[Unknown]

It's about a white person.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, that is true.

[Andrew Santino]

It is about a white.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

And he only lets the right ones in.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. So he's a bouncer at a nightclub.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And a guy comes up and he's like, sir, no baseball hats, no jean shorts. You know, and he. That's what happens. It's a bouncer at a nightclub.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I thought it was about a Southern country club.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a Southern. It's a bouncer at a Southern country club.

[Bobby Lee]

Country club in the 1960s.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He's a bouncer at a country club.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's like. Nah, nah. He says that a lot.

[Andrew Santino]

Nah, nah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then we have our own clubs. Yeah. What do you mean? No. What do you. That's what. That's what the movie is about.

[Andrew Santino]

And so he has to choose which one he lets in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he lets the. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on, man. No, no, we let go.

[Andrew Santino]

No baseball hats, pal.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry. There's a dress code.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not what it's about.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a dress code?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it about?

[Bobby Lee]

Real or joking?

[Andrew Santino]

Either way. At this point.

[Bobby Lee]

At this point.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well.

[Andrew Santino]

Jesus, are you gonna puke?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

But it's considered, if you look up the scariest, the best vampire movies of all time, it's probably either one or two in every list.

[Andrew Santino]

Better than Dracula. Yeah, better than Dracula.

[Bobby Lee]

Probably in the one or two. If you say the greatest vampire movies.

[Andrew Santino]

Probably top three type in greatest vampire movie of all time. So it's from Dusk Till dawn, interview with the vampire, Dracula. That's the list?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, that's just go down to, like, Mojo or, like, any of the lists. Like, they have a list? Yeah. That do that then. Okay. And go to top three. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

25 best vampire movies of all time.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Number one or 20? No, that's 25. No, no. Yeah, that's great.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to 2. Thirst.

[Andrew Santino]

Go to 1. Bram Stoker.

[Bobby Lee]

Dracula. What did I say?

[Andrew Santino]

Go to 4. Dracula.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to 4. Go to 4. Go to four.

[Andrew Santino]

Number one. Dracula afflict five.

[Bobby Lee]

Six.

[Andrew Santino]

Near dark. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there it is. Let the right one in. So sixth.

[Bobby Lee]

Top six.

[Andrew Santino]

Not even top five.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

And mine was number one. Dracula. Number one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But I would. I would. In my opinion, this is better than Dracula. You.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you. Chance. Bram Stoker.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Yeah, Bram Stoker. This movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Ram. Two words, pal. Bram Stoker go down also. Look at him.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, bud. Bram Stoker. Is that Will Ferrell?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's the same character that he was in.

[Andrew Santino]

And no, Francis Ford Coppola did that. Come on. Yeah, it's a Coppola movie. Yeah, it's the best.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I mean, it's probably the second best. Megalopolis number one. So can I tell you what the little one Ryan one is about?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a young Swedish boy. Okay. In the 19, probably 70s, probably early 80s. It seems like the 70s.

[Andrew Santino]

Alfredson. Yes. Little Swedish boy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And you can tell he's a single mom. You can tell that he's been bullied.

[Andrew Santino]

People have a pick on me.

[Bobby Lee]

Oscar, you're on fire today.

[Andrew Santino]

I get to pick it on today.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so glad. So. So he's being picked on.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, stop. And he goes outside and what he does. He has no friends.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't have any friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now I'm you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Just a little Swedish boy, don't have any friends.

[Bobby Lee]

So he's. At nights he stands outside and he takes a little knife.

[Andrew Santino]

I will stand outside with little knife.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And he stabs a tree.

[Andrew Santino]

I kill the tree.

[Bobby Lee]

And he. As if he's fighting back the bullies. Yeah. But at the same time, he sees that there's somebody moving in to an apartment. And he sees an old man and a little girl move into apartment. And then he looks up and it's at night. And he sees the old man put cardboard on the windows. No light gets in. And then a couple of nights later, cardboard. So no light cuts in cardboard.

[Andrew Santino]

Light would still get through.

[Bobby Lee]

Like newspapers.

[Andrew Santino]

Cardboard.

[Bobby Lee]

There's layers.

[Andrew Santino]

Newspaper wouldn't do it either.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. If you do a layer, though, a.

[Andrew Santino]

Couple layers of duvetyne. Maybe some blackout. I mean, it's really tough. They blackout light completely is really hard. I Know, I've been trying it for years.

[Bobby Lee]

Fire. Today.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I kidnapped this.

[Bobby Lee]

Your instincts. Every instinct is the right instinct. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

So tell me.

[Bobby Lee]

I am telling you.

[Andrew Santino]

But the movie.

[Bobby Lee]

But here's what I don't want to tell you.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I'm doing comedy stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. Not just comedy stuff. Right. Because I'm telling you, I didn't control it. Was I the set designer for the fucking movie?

[Andrew Santino]

Wish you were.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but it's. I didn't raise my head. Dude, we should get. We should get fucking light blockers. I don't know. What's it called?

[Andrew Santino]

Light blockers. Yeah, whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, that's why they wouldn't hire me, you know?

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, you think this is one of the best vampire movies of all.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not done with the fucking description of the fucking movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so any. What? Boring.

[Andrew Santino]

This guy's putting cardboard up in the windows to block out the light, right? Then.

[Bobby Lee]

Then the next night, the kids out there and Oscar. Yeah. And he looks. And there's like a. There's like a jungle Jimmy kind of area.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

And he looks. And there's a. There's the girl on top of the jungle gym. Barefoot. Right. You know, I mean, and they start talking.

[Andrew Santino]

She's just on the top.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she's on top. Right. And then they form a relationship.

[John Goblin]

You.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, they become friends.

[Andrew Santino]

How old? Like, we're talking 10.

[Bobby Lee]

Eight to 10. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And years.

[Bobby Lee]

And then she tells him.

[Andrew Santino]

That's when I started having crushes. Eight to ten formidable years. I'm just saying.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but that is when you're on fire like this and I'm not. I like it.

[Andrew Santino]

You're cruising.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm cruising for a bruising.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you remember when you were like, 8 to 10, when there was like. That's. That's when there was one girl in class who had boobs. Do you remember that? Do you remember her name? Dude, do you remember her name? There's always one girl by like.

[Bobby Lee]

I saw it. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When you're like in fifth grade play.

[Bobby Lee]

In my fifth year, I played Huckleberry Finn.

[Andrew Santino]

Who had the boobs?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I didn't know her name.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't know her name.

[Bobby Lee]

But I walked into a room that wasn't supposed to walk in, and one girl had her shirt off because she was changing.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh.

[Bobby Lee]

You're right. And I saw them, right? And magnificent. It was you at the time, my friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Was that where the Italian. Hey.

[Bobby Lee]

It was like. I just. It was like a spiritual awakening.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, it Was like I'd never seen boobs before. Live for my mom's.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

The yellow, shriveled up pieces of boobs he had. You know what I mean? Anyway, custard used to come out of that. Anyway. No, they're beautiful boobs, Mom. I love you, mom, but.

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So when I remember. When's the first time you saw boobs?

[Andrew Santino]

The first time I saw a nice. Nice set of boobs. Well, I'm just saying, the first girl when we were in, like, fifth grade that had boobs. That's what I mean. That story reminded me. I remember when girls started to get boobs and I thought, whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

They just keep going. Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa. Gnarly.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

Intense.

[Andrew Santino]

I wonder what they look like.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The first time I saw boobs in real life. 26, 27. Oh, wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

27, 28.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow. Late bloomer. I remember my first pube.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, dude. And I celebrated.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you? It was.

[Bobby Lee]

I howled in the night because it was. I was 17.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And everyone had already had done it in their 15.

[Andrew Santino]

Everyone already had them.

[Bobby Lee]

So I thought I was. Had a. Like a mutation or there was a genetically something wrong with me.

[Andrew Santino]

You still don't have a lot of pubes. You're pretty. You're pretty.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not the one.

[Bobby Lee]

I was. It was. It was. I was celebrated. They kept growing in. I was so happy.

[Andrew Santino]

How stoked were you?

[Bobby Lee]

I was so stoked.

[Andrew Santino]

Add some fuzz down there.

[Bobby Lee]

Remember the first time can't come came out?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Yeah, you do. Kind of.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean, kind of?

[Andrew Santino]

I've never told you the story about the. When I. When I was. I used to love watching Beverly Hills Cop.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That much.

[Andrew Santino]

I loved that movie. And then there was a. There was a song in it. The Heat is On Street.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. I know the song. I've seen the movie. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When I first started wanking Serge. That song.

[Bobby Lee]

Serge killed that movie. Ah, well, yeah, that.

[Andrew Santino]

Bronson Pinchot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, I first started jerking off. That song was in my head.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

The heat is on. I swear to God. And when I would come.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

Tell me. Can you feel it? I swear to God.

[Bobby Lee]

What my song was.

[Andrew Santino]

And so now, Pavlovian, if you play that song now, boom. I'll come everywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. It's close to yours. Eddie Murphy. My girl likes to party all the.

[Andrew Santino]

Time Party all the time Party all the time. You don't know these songs, do you?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you. Are we going to trick or treat this year.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I would love to.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Remember when we used to throw eggs at houses when we trick or treated?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you ever do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Were you a bad boy at Sandy?

[Bobby Lee]

I teepeed and egg my own house. I was too afraid to, like, get in trouble.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So I just did my own house and I had to clean it the next day.

[Andrew Santino]

Your dad would come outside, make you clean it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he even let me. I told him I was going to do it.

[Andrew Santino]

You egged your own house?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But you have to clean next day. So I cleaned it. My brother and I. Steve cleaned it next day. Here's another thing just has nothing to do with Halloween that I've been obsessed with on the YouTube. What is. So there's this lady, she's like a classically trained woman. She has an accent. I think she's from like some village somewhere. But she's a classically trained. And she's never listened to rock and roll before. And.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, they play her the song for the first time.

[Bobby Lee]

So she'll. She'll. She'll play. She'll like, go, okay, today I'm going to a song by a band called Queen.

[Andrew Santino]

Right, Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Bohemian Rhapsody. And she plays it and she listens to it. And it's so interesting to see her. That. That's her Virgin Rock. I mean, that's her. And then she, like. She played Paranoid Android by Radiohead.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And it's really interesting, her reactions to, you know, I mean, like, listening to rock and roll for the very first time.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, what's wrong with her that she hasn't heard any of this stuff? Is this. Because she's just not. It just doesn't.

[Bobby Lee]

Hated 9 inch nails didn't like Closer. Yeah. She. It's ugly. She goes. It's sexual, but not in a good way. It's. It's.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. It's gorgeous.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. It's like I want to penetrate you. I want to complicate you. Yeah. I want to violate you.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's such a good song. Tool Sober.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Great song. I mean, she. It's just interesting to hear her. Even Simon and gr. She had never heard of.

[Andrew Santino]

How.

[Bobby Lee]

How I know that I. I can't. You know, I don't even know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we believe it.

[Bobby Lee]

He listened to.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, we can't hear any of them.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, we can't do it.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

But I'm just saying it's just an interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that is really cool to see.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, someone's real reaction to it.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. And by by the way, only 19, 000 views. So you're. You're. You're getting in this niche. This is.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I'm niche guy.

[Andrew Santino]

You're niche guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Things. Oh, my God. Can I tell you what happened?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

About niche.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Giving niche.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so the first night we were at this camping trip, we were not actually camping. We're at a restaurant for the first night, just eating. Yeah. And Yamanika, black female comic, one of the funniest people on planet Earth.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

In New York, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And she was talking about algorithms. So then I told about me and Carlos. Algorithms.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that her cousin?

[Bobby Lee]

Very funny. And then I. Very funny.

[Andrew Santino]

Thanks.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good. And I go. I go, well, And I showed her, like, a video that I would watch, and it was like an African man eating a monkey. And she saw it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not in her algorithm. You showed her a video of an African man eating a monkey?

[Bobby Lee]

Started crying.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What? At the table.

[Andrew Santino]

She got mad at you because you showed her a video of a man eating a monkey.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why would you show her that?

[Bobby Lee]

I was giving her an example of Don't. My algorithms.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I shouldn't eat this. Can you take this away?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Please, please, please, before it makes.

[Bobby Lee]

Now the vomit's cakey.

[Andrew Santino]

You got into a big fight with her.

[Bobby Lee]

Not only that, she refused to eat.

[Andrew Santino]

Dinner because of the monkey eating video.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I couldn't believe it.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then Bobby Kelly, I don't know why he would do this. He just got found. Monkey noises.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Like 20 minutes later, just playing them. And he just played it. Right. Just randomly. Right. And then me and Jim and Robert Kelly laughed to the point where we had to leave because we're in a room.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We had to leave the room. And we were in this hallway side. You know what I mean? And she's just sitting there. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Pissed.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But then we. We're laughing so hard, like, uncontrollably, where I couldn't breathe. Like, we could not breathe. Right. Even Norton.

[Andrew Santino]

Is she still mad at you?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Then she starts laughing.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

And that's how.

[Andrew Santino]

That breaks it up.

[Bobby Lee]

That breaks it.

[Andrew Santino]

That breaks it up. As long as you go far enough there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That she laughs to bring it back.

[Bobby Lee]

Rocket money. Rocket Money. I'm going to say this.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Rocket Money has saved me so much money. You ever understand how much subscriptions I have that I'm not aware of? Insane meditation ones.

[Andrew Santino]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

Et cetera, et cetera.

[Andrew Santino]

Most people have no clue how many subscriptions they have. I didn't until I use Rocket Money. And trust me, you're not alone. If you're wondering, 74% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about. I've paid for apps and games that have charged me and I forgot. And thanks to Rocket Money, I don't have to remember every subscription or worry about forgetting them because you can see them all laid out right in front of you.

[Bobby Lee]

Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts. Easily create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep your spending on track. See your monthly spending trends in each category to know exactly where your money is going.

[Andrew Santino]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Look, so many of us have so many things on our phone and in our life that we're not paying attention. Rocket Money has over 5 million users, has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the apps features. So you got to stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com badfriends that's rocket money.com bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Friends rocket money.com bad friends Alex, do you like canned cranberry sauce or should.

[Andrew Santino]

We make it ourselves?

[Unknown]

That's my mom.

[Bobby Lee]

She didn't know about instacarts. Family carts. Wanna make pecan pie this year?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes or no? Oh, and how many boxes of stuffing?

[Bobby Lee]

So I told her we could just.

[Andrew Santino]

Share a family card and add all our holiday favorites to the same order.

[Bobby Lee]

Without losing our voices or our sanity. It's so much fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Alex, can you get my holiday village.

[Bobby Lee]

Out of the attic? Baby steps, Alex. Baby steps. Shop Instacart this holiday season and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. Alex.

[Andrew Santino]

This episode is brought to you by United Airlines. When you want to make the most.

[Bobby Lee]

Of your vacation, book with United.

[Andrew Santino]

They're an airline that cares about your.

[Bobby Lee]

Travels as much as you do. United is transforming the flying experience with.

[Andrew Santino]

Bluetooth, connectivity, screens, power at every seat, and bigger overhead bins to help fit everyone's bag. And with their app, you can skip the bag check line, get live updates and more.

[Bobby Lee]

Change the way you fly.

[Andrew Santino]

Book your next trip [e-mail] what are you doing? I'm not. I'm not kidding when I say this. You have to finish that cake you took a big piece.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. It's not right.

[Unknown]

Look at this.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not right.

[Andrew Santino]

You took that piece. I didn't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not right.

[Unknown]

But I just wanted to say, on Tick Tock, you can also watch porn in it.

[Bobby Lee]

How?

[Andrew Santino]

Golly, how?

[Unknown]

Like my grandpa from the Philippines.

[Bobby Lee]

Here we go. Here we go.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, here we go.

[Bobby Lee]

We know all the tidbits about Tick Tock Philippines.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, your grandfather watches porn on Tick Tock?

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's what my mom says. Like, oh, he's watching porn again in the. In on TikTok.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you not just watch on regular Internet?

[Unknown]

He likes TikTok.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he likes TikTok.

[Bobby Lee]

You can watch porn on TikTok.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think so. I think you can do it on Twitter. Twitter has porn stuff?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you what's incredible, by the way. Here I was in my hotel in, like, Kentucky or Indiana or whatever. Do you know about this?

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me about this thing.

[Andrew Santino]

A lot of these states, okay, they block porn. You can't watch it. Like, you go. If you go to pornhub, they block it. You have to. You have to do. Look it up. You have to do like, vpn.

[Bobby Lee]

Vpn, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. But if I didn't have a VPN on my new phone. So you have to log in and register. Pornhub is blocked in Texas. All these places are they.

[Bobby Lee]

But not all sites.

[Andrew Santino]

Almost all of them. No, I mean, like, paid sites. Well, I called. I called Greg Fitzsimmons, and he told me the ones to find. He was like, I got the side.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I have the sites. Yeah, the webcams still work.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but look, Texas, Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Virginia, North Carolina.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

And Utah. They blocked pornhub. They want you to log in with your information so you can watch porn.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they do that now here. There's a whole new security check in even California.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I can watch. Turn on pornhub right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Not. Not in the sites that I have. I have to go through, like, I have to go through five processes to even get on.

[Andrew Santino]

Now we got a log in. You got to do, like, a retinal scan.

[Bobby Lee]

I had to do a face scan. And then what?

[Andrew Santino]

Thumbprints. You have to do a thumbprint.

[John Goblin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Ye. All that.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby Lee. Welcome back for the seventh time today.

[Bobby Lee]

Good. But just a side note, too. So we were three hours north in Canada, and, you know, there the producers base at a college, this remote college in the woods.

[Andrew Santino]

A college in the woods is so hot.

[Bobby Lee]

And it was Late at night, and there was. There was a security guard and he came down and with bad friends T shirts and he. I had never seen a man so shocked and happy to see you. To see me.

[Andrew Santino]

How cute.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it was just really.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby A. I can't believe you're here, bud. Yeah, it was all the way in the woods with us at our college.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it was like that. It was cool. I signed everything.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, do people ask you, hey, where's Andrew?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All the time they ask me, where's Bobby? Every as if, like, you're where I go, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, he's right there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. No, the guy in Cleveland. Hey, man. Hey, man. Yeah, Big fan. Thanks, man. Where's Bobby?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know, man. We're two different guys.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. We have two.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know where you are. You know what's so funny? I do know where you are pretty much all the time. What's going on?

[Bobby Lee]

They ready? Anyway, so we have a guest.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, we have a special guest.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a guy that. I've done his show. Have you done his interaction?

[Andrew Santino]

I did his show.

[Bobby Lee]

I did.

[Andrew Santino]

I did the new show.

[Bobby Lee]

I did the old show.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, let's see.

[Bobby Lee]

Goblin.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wow. Show him where to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

John.

[Bobby Lee]

Goblins here, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. John. John Woo. Give him a blonde John Gobble. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

What's up, John?

[John Goblin]

Oh, hello.

[Bobby Lee]

Hi. Wow. Yeah.

[John Goblin]

What? Okay. Everyone looks a little different than I remember.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Why is it, like, who am I, John? You think it's Halloween?

[John Goblin]

Who are you?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm dressed as somebody.

[John Goblin]

Oh, okay. You're a Juggalo without the makeup.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, good, Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Try.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, very good. Very close.

[John Goblin]

You, you, you. You've disappointed your parents.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you talking about me or the character I'm playing? Because that's. Those are both.

[Andrew Santino]

Seems like it's both true. Yeah.

[John Goblin]

You're Bobby Lee who just got a tattoo.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good job. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Very good.

[John Goblin]

What? Just.

[Andrew Santino]

He's on Ozempic.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Ozempic. Burps.

[Andrew Santino]

This is the Oz kicking in, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

And then what about her? What do you think? She is.

[John Goblin]

A lot of smor.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Very good, very good, very good.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, you got one, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

And what am I?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Oh, okay. Hold White bread. And I mean, it's kind of like, kind of look like a. A golf caddy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's good.

[John Goblin]

Golf caddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

[John Goblin]

Or a Wonder Bread tournament.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it. That's it, John. Gobblecon, everybody.

[Bobby Lee]

Now, your fingers are very long, John. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Goblin]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

I'm worried about popping this. I don't want to get too excited. Sometimes I get nervous and I grip it. But I didn't know you guys had. These are what I have in my, My home.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I see. Yeah. This is kind of all the other limbs that long, or are the other limbs.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you have long toes? He's saying, do you have long toes?

[John Goblin]

Oh, yeah. I mean, these are. These are nine and a half.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So that's not bad.

[John Goblin]

That's pretty average.

[Andrew Santino]

It's bigger than you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm nine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he's a half size bigger.

[John Goblin]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

That speaks volumes. Does.

[John Goblin]

How are your other lens, Bobby?

[Bobby Lee]

My limbs are well, I'm. They're fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, he's on Ozempic. Yeah.

[John Goblin]

I was gonna say they're good.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean. No, I, I, I froze up there for a second.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you did.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

That was the Ozempic.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not the oic. What I want to say is. Just let me. Give me that. Ask me again.

[John Goblin]

What. What are your. Hey, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

What are your other libs like?

[Bobby Lee]

They're fine.

[John Goblin]

Oh, no good.

[Bobby Lee]

He.

[John Goblin]

He did a retake to go with fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Goblin]

Let's go take two.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, let's go with take two. Yeah.

[John Goblin]

How about one more?

[Bobby Lee]

One more? One more, One more.

[John Goblin]

Just. Just one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Goblin]

Hey, bud.

[Bobby Lee]

Proportional to my body. That's what I wanted to say. Yeah. I froze up. Proportional to my body in terms of your guests on your show.

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's the biggest guest you've ever had, Mr. Podcast?

[John Goblin]

Andrew Santino. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you, John. Thank you, John.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's the second?

[John Goblin]

Probably a DJ.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, he had some DJs. Yeah, you.

[Bobby Lee]

So you've had, what, Dylan Francis on?

[John Goblin]

Yeah, that was him. Yeah, he had Dylan Francis on. His favorite instrument. Yeah, the laptop. That's what he does. DJs. He's pressing a button. But I had Bobby on.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

And I. I'm glad I'm here, you know, I'm glad me being a goblin, my culture could be all of your comedy on Halloween.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry.

[John Goblin]

But I'm, I'm happy I'm here because I want to clear the air. Okay. You came on my podcast, broke my set, flipped the table, kicked over my Southwestern egg rolls.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[John Goblin]

And we kind of left on a sour note.

[Bobby Lee]

I think the problem was that you brought, like, when I came. You had egg rolls, Southwestern, which is kind of you.

[Andrew Santino]

You are a southwestern egg roll. You're from San Diego.

[Bobby Lee]

That is true.

[Andrew Santino]

That's perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

That is actually perfect.

[Andrew Santino]

You are my little southwestern egg. So he was doing that to compliment you, and here you are, then you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I took it as a insult. An insult?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Oh, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? In retrospect, I. My bad and I apologize.

[John Goblin]

No, yeah. Because it would kind of be like me, a green guy walking in here and you just having like another fat, deformed green guy on your desk or something. It would be like that kind of offensive. Do you think it would be like that kind of offensive, Bobby? Do you think it would be like, me, a guy just leave it. Self conscious of his teeth.

[Andrew Santino]

Just leave it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Do you know how many people in.

[Bobby Lee]

High school we should have been more mindful?

[John Goblin]

We're like, oh, look, there goes Slimer.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Right, right.

[John Goblin]

You know how many times.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

People would say that, you know?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Did you do this?

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly, if you really want to know the truth about this, this is new to us. That she put that on the desk.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she did.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, she did.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, she did. Yeah.

[John Goblin]

You ought to know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, I like it.

[Bobby Lee]

What she said was, I was at the CVS and I got a John Gobble Con statue. I'm like, that's not John Gobblecon.

[Andrew Santino]

She was trying to.

[John Goblin]

Oh, you're trying to get a job. Oh, well. Said you.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what she thought. So.

[John Goblin]

Oh, we do have John Gobblecon plushies available right now. Are you guys gonna do the graphics for me like I do on my show?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Okay, great. Because, like, that's kind of like my thing, though.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they will.

[John Goblin]

You know, like, I kind of like. It's like, kind of like that's my. Like, you might be a redneck. Mine is right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I like that because the name of the show is right now. It's a good show.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's a great show.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we. Do I want to know about your history? Like, what part of. I don't know where Goblins are? Because we have a Koreatown.

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is there a Goblinville?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Is there a Goblinville or.

[John Goblin]

Yeah, it's. It's. I mean, it's probably Van Nuys.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because you're the only one that we've.

[John Goblin]

Moved south, you know?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. You're the only Goblin I've seen in la.

[John Goblin]

Yeah. Well, I, you know, full disclosure, I don't really know a lot about my childhood or my family. And it's.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you were adopted or something. Or. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, why would someone give him up for adoption?

[Bobby Lee]

I have no.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that. What's that. Why is that assumption.

[Bobby Lee]

Why are you looking at me?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you're assuming that he would be, like, giving up for adoption. You said.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I just said that. Like, where I go. Where's the goblins hang out?

[Andrew Santino]

No, you said. You said you don't have. He said he doesn't know much about his family, and then you said, oh, you're. Yeah, you're adopted.

[John Goblin]

I don't. I don't like that. But.

[Bobby Lee]

Hold on. Stop, stop.

[John Goblin]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

What the you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

What the are you doing? Dude? Are you trying to insult this?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I just.

[Andrew Santino]

That's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

When I said it, I. Up.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, here's the deal.

[Bobby Lee]

Obviously. Why.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you know why. So he looks different. Big deal.

[Bobby Lee]

Different.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but if.

[John Goblin]

Hey, Alanis. What are they talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, call him out. Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Do you have magic?

[John Goblin]

Do I have magic?

[Andrew Santino]

Very good question.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good question.

[John Goblin]

Great question.

[Bobby Lee]

A very good question.

[John Goblin]

I could.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

I mean, are you.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, he's not a warlock.

[Unknown]

Well. But he looks magical.

[Andrew Santino]

He does.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown]

So I'm just.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you ever performed magic before?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Comedy magic. I think we're all performing it right now. We're all a part of it.

[Andrew Santino]

That is true.

[John Goblin]

We're all a part of it. You, not so much. But I would say this side.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I mean. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. No, because now I real. I realize why I kicked the tables. That's energy.

[Andrew Santino]

John is right now.

[John Goblin]

The way you're looking, you. John.

[Andrew Santino]

Be nice.

[Bobby Lee]

Come out of my fucking house. Bobby with the green shit.

[John Goblin]

When you look like that, it makes your jelly roll.

[Bobby Lee]

You really.

[John Goblin]

Okay, don't do that, because. Hey, Bobby, I'm just gonna let you know this is a very tense holiday for me.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[John Goblin]

Why? Yeah, it's the worst holiday for me. No, because every time when I was a kid, you know, I wanted to be somebody, you know, for Halloween, I'd be like, you know, I'm gonna be Ross Perot, you know? And then everyone. Everyone would come up to me and they just go, oh, it's a goblin.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

You don't need to hear that all the time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

It's like I couldn't be anybody.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

You know, I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but you're someone now.

[Bobby Lee]

You could be a booger. Like a gigantic booger. I mean, there are things that you can be Right.

[Andrew Santino]

He already said he wanted to be Ross Perot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying, it's just like, you.

[Andrew Santino]

Know, I get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Like me saying I'm gonna be Shaquille O'Neal. I mean, I just pick what, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, right, right.

[Bobby Lee]

You're saying Kim Jong Un.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Be who you are. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Instead of GoPro, be someone else.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. And you really didn't have that opportunity.

[John Goblin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you like to have that opportunity tonight?

[John Goblin]

I would. I would love that. Santino.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Can we get a costume for John?

[John Goblin]

You guys have a costume for me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, probably.

[Andrew Santino]

We got a little something for you.

[John Goblin]

Modest. Did you do this?

[Unknown]

No, they didn't.

[John Goblin]

They did. Well, I know he didn't do it, but someone did it.

[Andrew Santino]

Cause, John, we just. I wanted you feel. I wanted you to feel like you're included. You belong. And I. I got told from one of our producers. Got told that your whole life, you were. You were put down.

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And we would like to welcome you to our family here. We have a little costume for you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, wow.

[John Goblin]

This is great. Oh, this is perfect.

[Andrew Santino]

Just go ahead and throw that on there.

[John Goblin]

Is it a Lotus?

[Bobby Lee]

Could you. Could you.

[John Goblin]

It's got.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, it's for normal size faces.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, kebab.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wow.

[Bobby Lee]

There we go. There we go.

[John Goblin]

Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Goblin]

What do you think? What am I?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, God.

[John Goblin]

What am I?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it's. I know what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

You're not gonna want to hear it.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to hear it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's, you know, a Vietnamese soldier with gangrene and a little bit too much napalm.

[John Goblin]

All right. Let me get in the car. That sounds great.

[Andrew Santino]

It does.

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So do you feel like you fit in?

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever done an Asian accent, John Gobblecon.

[John Goblin]

And I won't be tonight.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? Why, John?

[John Goblin]

No, I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not even human.

[John Goblin]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean he's not human? Of course he's human.

[John Goblin]

I said my podcast is going well. I want it to go. I wanted to go well.

[Andrew Santino]

Really. Well, let's not point at that.

[Bobby Lee]

He's not doing. Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, but anyway, no pointing at the ceiling.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

We. We just got our first ad sale.

[Bobby Lee]

That's great.

[Andrew Santino]

Congratulations.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Enron.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Enron.

[Bobby Lee]

That's fun. That's funny.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a good company.

[Bobby Lee]

Enron's a great company.

[Andrew Santino]

I do like Enron.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Yeah, yeah. So we're doing well.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We had BP for a while.

[John Goblin]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

We Had British Petroleum for quite a long time.

[John Goblin]

Red Lobster. They're on the. They're on the hook.

[Andrew Santino]

John.

[Bobby Lee]

John.

[John Goblin]

I'm not John.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry, John. Very good, very good. So now do you feel a little bit more at home now that I've squashed the beef with you guys? I know I'm playing Mediator, but I have to do that on this.

[John Goblin]

No, it's. Bobby, do you feel okay now?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I do, man. I feel great.

[John Goblin]

Like, I. I just want to say. Yeah, I. I think you're super funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

I think. I think you're. You're a great actor. You're.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I said. I said.

[John Goblin]

He beat me out for so many roles. I mean, we go up for the.

[Bobby Lee]

Same role, same category.

[John Goblin]

Yeah. Every. Every time I go in for a role, it's like looking for a Bobby Lee type.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Ring, ring. John Gobblecon.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, what has he gotten that you came close on Borderlands. Yeah. That was yours? Yeah, that was yours.

[John Goblin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Anything else?

[John Goblin]

That the one about Ramen?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. The death by Death and Ramen.

[John Goblin]

Yep.

[Andrew Santino]

So you.

[John Goblin]

I want to do an art house film. You know, I want to show my range, and this guy is like, sorry, we're doing Bobby Lee. I was like, come on, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, have you been able to beat him for anything? Have you ever gotten a role that he was up for that? You got.

[Bobby Lee]

What's that? Mucus Commercial. Commercial, yeah. You beat me with music. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Goblin]

They were like, do a little Brooklyn.

[Bobby Lee]

It wasn't the voice, it was the guy. But anyway. Yeah, there you go.

[John Goblin]

I see.

[Andrew Santino]

There you go, John, that's so rude, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you beat me out of that for sure.

[Andrew Santino]

He doesn't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at it.

[John Goblin]

Look at him.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at him, John.

[Bobby Lee]

I live in resin.

[John Goblin]

Real quick. Yeah, yeah, real quick.

[Andrew Santino]

Nice.

[John Goblin]

That's. That's my boy, Greg.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[John Goblin]

Cool guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Seems not a cool guy.

[John Goblin]

He's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[John Goblin]

He's kind of, like, stuck in the commercial world, but he's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, hey, it's a living.

[Bobby Lee]

So you have a show? I do, yeah. What's it? You want to plug it? Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

He did. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Now let's do it again.

[John Goblin]

It's called the Right Now Podcast with John. Yeah. And you know what, Bobby?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I think that you should invite me on again.

[John Goblin]

I want to have you.

[Bobby Lee]

So I can do a redo.

[John Goblin]

I want to do a full redo. I want to have you on. Yeah, I'll bolt everything down. No, you know, I Will not.

[Bobby Lee]

No. I'm gonna wear a suit.

[John Goblin]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'm gonna come with a different angle. Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the drunk. What's the angle?

[Bobby Lee]

The angle is I'm like comedy with.

[Andrew Santino]

He didn't do comedy the first time.

[John Goblin]

Not on my show.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, did the numbers do well, Good or no.

[John Goblin]

On our show? Yeah, yeah, they did really good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Goblin]

People, they're. It's a big hate watch period right now.

[Bobby Lee]

But here's the thing. Yeah.

[John Goblin]

So many people in the comments.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

Of my show are like, is John Goblin. Bobby Lee.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so I'm gonna come back on.

[Andrew Santino]

You got to go back on.

[John Goblin]

I. I can't wait to have.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't wait to do it.

[John Goblin]

You know what I mean? I can't wait.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't wait to do it. Anyway. Anyway, thanks for coming.

[John Goblin]

What? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta go to bed. Yeah, yeah. It's, you know, I mean, I gotta go to bed. I burps.

[Andrew Santino]

Those are pretty.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And I'm super tired. I gotta get. I have to get up at. In six hours.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh. I want to say thank you to John on the show, and I hope that next time that you go on his show, you don't. It's all good.

[John Goblin]

I can't wait to have you on Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

I really. I really mean it. And you know what? I'll say something to all you guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[John Goblin]

I'm okay with Halloween now.

[Bobby Lee]

That's great.

[John Goblin]

I really am. Like, you guys are. Baby.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, can I say this, too?

[John Goblin]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to read me. Right? It's so great that we don't have to get you an Uber because you have your fucking broom. So just, you know, I mean, or whatever you do. The fuck out of here, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, hey, hey.

[John Goblin]

To be honest.

[Bobby Lee]

Fucking freak.

[Andrew Santino]

John.

[Bobby Lee]

John, get him out of here.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Hey.

[Bobby Lee]

Clap. No. Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Get the job out here.

[John Goblin]

Are we having our first fight?