Rat Island

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends Episode "Rat Island"

Episode Information

• Title: Rat Island
• Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
• Release Date: December 16, 2024
• Production: 7EQUIS

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1. Introduction and Opening Banter (00:00 - 01:24)

The episode kicks off with the hosts, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, engaging in their signature humorous banter, showcasing their dynamic chemistry. They joke about being "bad friends," setting a lighthearted tone for the episode.

Andrew Santino [00:05]: "You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?"

Bobby Lee [00:22]: "We're bad friends. I'm running out of air."

2. Post-Australia Trip: Sleep Schedule Woes (01:25 - 06:14)

Bobby and Andrew discuss their recent trip to Australia, highlighting the challenges they faced with jet lag and disrupted sleep schedules. Bobby humorously laments waking up at unconventional hours, while Carlos Santos adds to the conversation about their exhaustion.

Bobby Lee [01:31]: "I got back from Australia and my sleep schedule is so wickedly messed up."

Andrew Santino [03:15]: "I'm Mr. No."

The hosts share anecdotes about their activities in Australia, including watching a movie featuring kangaroo balls, and introduce quirky props like a boomerang, reflecting their playful interactions.

3. Quokkas and Rottnest Island Adventures (06:15 - 10:25)

The conversation shifts to their encounter with quokkas on Rottnest Island. Bobby recounts his initial misconceptions and excitement upon meeting the friendly marsupials. They discuss the significance of their photos with the quokkas, with Andrew emphasizing the importance of patience to capture the perfect shot.

Andrew Santino [10:07]: "If you wait, good things will come."

Bobby Lee [09:35]: "My wisdom on this: They look like porgs."

The hosts express their affection for the quokkas, sharing memorable moments like capturing the perfect photo and interacting with local Australians.

4. Show Experiences and Celebrity Encounters (10:26 - 20:57)

Bobby and Andrew delve into their experiences performing in Australia, including interactions with celebrity friends like Dakota Fanning, Sarah Snook, and Jake Lacy. They humorously discuss the dynamics of closing out shows and handling fan expectations.

Andrew Santino [12:23]: "I know you're Mr. Know It All now."

Bobby Lee [12:57]: "What a great show."

Andrew opens up about handling his partner's presence during performances and the challenges it poses to their on-stage chemistry. They also share stories about meeting fans and the impact of their performances on their fanbase.

5. Health and Personal Struggles: Andrew's Depression (40:18 - 43:33)

In a candid segment, Andrew Santino discusses his battle with clinical depression, shedding light on his mental health struggles. He explains his coping mechanisms, such as exercising and seeking support from unexpected sources like a friendly stranger at the gym.

Andrew Santino [40:27]: "I have clinical depression, so I go into a deep, very dark, low hole."

Andrew Santino [42:19]: "I have depression. I get extremely dark and low."

Bobby and Carlos respond with empathy, emphasizing the importance of mental health awareness and supporting one another through tough times. This heartfelt discussion adds depth to the episode, highlighting the genuine bond between the hosts.

6. Comedy, Stage Dynamics, and Personal Growth (43:34 - 57:00)

The hosts reflect on their comedic journeys, discussing the differences between shows in the US and Australia. They praise the tight performances and the supportive environment they experienced abroad. Andrew compliments Carlos on his contributions, while Bobby shares humorous insights into their stage interactions and personal growth as comedians.

Andrew Santino [44:40]: "We were much tighter over there."

Bobby Lee [57:37]: "What is this saying?"

They also touch upon the process of refining their performances, the importance of timing, and the influence of each other's comedic styles. The conversation seamlessly blends humor with reflections on their professional development.

7. Cultural Experiences: We Spa and Nudist Controversy (57:01 - 66:59)

Bobby and Andrew recount their experiences visiting We Spa, a renowned spa facility in Australia. They humorously discuss cultural differences, including interactions in saunas and the unexpected presence of children in certain sections. The hosts delve into a controversial incident involving a transgender woman, addressing sensitive topics with their characteristic humor while maintaining a respectful tone.

Bobby Lee [60:03]: "There's always little girls and little boys running around."

Andrew Santino [61:00]: "People never end their shows."

They explore the complexities of cultural norms, personal boundaries, and societal expectations, using these experiences to further their comedic narrative.

8. Future Plans and Tour Announcements (46:18 - 54:25)

Looking ahead, Bobby and Andrew announce their plans to expand their tour internationally, specifically targeting London to cater to their UK fanbase. They discuss the logistics of touring abroad and the enthusiasm of their Australian fans, expressing gratitude for the support they've received.

Andrew Santino [46:43]: "We're working on going to London for a show."

Bobby Lee [46:25]: "We owe it to our Australian London friends."

The hosts also mention the challenges of merchandising for international audiences, explaining their strategy to utilize local companies to efficiently distribute their merchandise.

9. Humorous Interactions and Closing Remarks (60:00 - 68:07)

The episode concludes with a series of lighthearted exchanges about personal habits, gym experiences, and humorous hypotheticals involving time travel and cultural clashes. Bobby and Andrew continue to play off each other's jokes, maintaining the episode's entertaining and engaging atmosphere.

Bobby Lee [65:39]: "If you had to, I'd definitely do that."

Andrew Santino [67:53]: "I'm joining."

The final moments feature a blend of laughter and camaraderie, reinforcing the strong friendship between the hosts despite their playful rivalries.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Andrew Santino [10:07]: "If you wait, good things will come."
• Andrew Santino [40:27]: "I have clinical depression, so I go into a deep, very dark, low hole."
• Bobby Lee [46:25]: "Can we do this?"

Conclusions and Insights

In this episode of Bad Friends, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino offer listeners a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions about their lives and careers. From navigating the challenges of international tours and interacting with celebrities to addressing mental health struggles, the hosts provide a multifaceted view of their friendship and professional partnership. The episode underscores the importance of patience, support, and genuine connections, all delivered with the duo's trademark wit and authenticity.

Key Takeaways:

• Friendship Dynamics: The playful rivalry between Bobby and Andrew highlights the balance between teasing and genuine support.
• Mental Health Awareness: Andrew's openness about his depression fosters a deeper understanding and empathy among listeners.
• Cultural Insights: Their experiences in Australia shed light on cultural differences and the nuances of international comedy tours.
• Professional Growth: Reflections on their comedic journeys emphasize the continuous evolution and adaptation in their craft.

For those who haven't listened, this episode provides an engaging mix of laughter, heartfelt moments, and insightful discussions, encapsulating the essence of Bad Friends.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huell. Your go to for complete nutrition, try.

[Andrew Santino]

Huell with 15 off today using code BAD FRIENDS at my.huell.com BAD FRIENDS. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[Bobby Lee]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something.

[Andrew Santino]

We're bad friends. I'm running out of air.

[Bobby Lee]

I was already out. I was already out.

[Carlos Santos]

I didn't even mean to collapse.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Do it again, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Ready?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, well, this is out.

[Bobby Lee]

This is.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I had my eyes closed.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I couldn't breathe.

[Carlos Santos]

Do it again.

[Bobby Lee]

I really liked it. I really liked it. Let's do it one more time.

[Andrew Santino]

Ready?

[Bobby Lee]

Right. But I want to keep your eyes with it. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Dude, we're like a barbershop quartet.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's real. That was incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

Also, I heard you laugh in the middle of it, too.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, because it sounded so beautiful to me. We. You kept the tone.

[Andrew Santino]

It was very good.

[Bobby Lee]

That was great.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, welcome back.

[Bobby Lee]

Welcome back. Harder. And let me say something. That's when you said. When you don't say welcome back again. Because the things I think. Welcome back.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Number one. I want to say we got back from Australia and I. My sleep schedule is so wickedly.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, yesterday I woke up at five. Today I woke up at three.

[Andrew Santino]

You.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, Carlos looks confused and dazed. Are you dazed?

[McCone]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Or confused? Both. Both. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a great movie.

[Bobby Lee]

And. Yeah. It was a great movie. And I just.

[Andrew Santino]

Kangaroo balls there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kangaroo ball.

[Andrew Santino]

Petrified.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah, I'm petrified. Holding them. That's real. Yeah, they're heavy.

[Bobby Lee]

It's pretty heavy. Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

Sorry for fondling your kangaroo.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no. It's what I like. No, they're heavy because.

[Bobby Lee]

We'Re getting it. Yeah. We're going to be doing that quite frequently on this podcast.

[Carlos Santos]

Oh, and I brought this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

For the studio.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

A boomerang.

[Carlos Santos]

I'll throw it to you. But, hey, can you edit this so it looks like it comes back to me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, nice.

[Carlos Santos]

It works.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see it.

[Carlos Santos]

Okay. Here. For real. I'll give it to you.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. End over end.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you tried it in public?

[Carlos Santos]

No, I just knew it would work. It's the first time I've thrown it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you guys ready?

[Bobby Lee]

Is there a way to throw it that'll come back right here?

[Andrew Santino]

Like, really? If you throw it like that. It does then. Because it flattens out.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what it is, dude, you're such a. Know it all.

[Andrew Santino]

But I can't. He does.

[Carlos Santos]

He knows.

[Bobby Lee]

He knows everything. It drives me.

[Andrew Santino]

Why'd you ask me then? Why do you ask me so many questions then if you don't want to know the answer? Because you know I got the answer.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you got the answer.

[Andrew Santino]

This is going to break something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at McCone is the most scared.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't go hard because when I go.

[Andrew Santino]

Like this, it's going to naturally go sideways. You know that, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Stop, stop.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

So what's your slice? What are you. How's your sleeping?

[Carlos Santos]

And saying it's terrible. I can't believe you're doing spots. I had a spot at midnight and I. The first time in my life, canceled it Saturday night.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't do it one Saturday. I can't.

[Andrew Santino]

I told you that was a bad.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I went.

[Carlos Santos]

I thought you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I went. I went. I went. I went.

[Carlos Santos]

And you went Monday.

[Bobby Lee]

I went Monday. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Not tonight and tonight.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, tonight.

[Andrew Santino]

Tomorrow.

[Bobby Lee]

Tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what time you've been sleeping?

[Carlos Santos]

I've been trying to go to bed at night, but I stay awake till like 4am and then I. I still wake up at 9am and then I am tired all day.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, it's rough. What about you?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm good.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you.

[Carlos Santos]

I knew you would be good.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm good because I did the exact pattern I told.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God. It's going to drive me crazy, that pattern. Oh my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Isn't that funny?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God.

[Andrew Santino]

The funniest part is I literally said when we fly to Sydney, he.

[Bobby Lee]

He does what pattern? Everyone that listening. This is what he does. This is what he does. Okay. Yeah, because he's Mr. Know It All. Okay?

[Andrew Santino]

That's my new name, Mr. Know It All.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's Mr. No. Mr. No.

[Bobby Lee]

No. And so Mr. Know It all, he obviously we do a group meeting.

[Andrew Santino]

We do.

[Bobby Lee]

When he has his little TED talks. Right? This is what we need to do.

[Andrew Santino]

They're tedxes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. So he goes. So he says, oh, from. From Perth to Australia. Right. Don't sleep at all. We were in the airport to Sydney. Sorry, from. But okay, that's another know it all thing you just said. Could have let it go. You could have let it go, but you didn't.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm Mr. Noah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

[Andrew Santino]

That's my gift.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. So from Perth to Sydney, don't sleep it up. Which is like a four and a half hour flight.

[Andrew Santino]

Four hours? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What Did I do?

[Andrew Santino]

Slept the whole time.

[Bobby Lee]

The whole time.

[Carlos Santos]

I stayed awake the whole time.

[Bobby Lee]

Because when he says something to do, I go the opposite.

[Andrew Santino]

Smart.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to. I'm Know It All's Nemesis.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. Yeah, Mr. Know It All. You're Mr. No.

[Bobby Lee]

No @ all. That's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. So I say, no, I slept the whole way, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Good for you. And then like a fucking idiot, you stayed up the entire flight home.

[Carlos Santos]

I did 15 hours.

[Andrew Santino]

Watch me, watch me. I said, stay up on the first leg, on the second leg, eat the dinner and then last as long as you can to match up with the LA clock and go to bed. Because then it'll be nighttime. Then when you wake up, it'll be noon in la, when we wake up and get to la. But it'll actually kind of be. Our sleep schedule. Will think it's like 9 or 10am, which I go, that'll work perfectly. I took. I was up during the meal. I see him. I watch across the aisle. He's on his iPad. And you can hear him. I can hear him laugh. And then I go to bed, right? I wake up from bed feeling good, take a piss. He's still up, still on his iPad. And I know he hasn't fallen asleep. Still giggling in the exact same position. Exact same position. Then I go back again. I'm stretching a little bit. I'm thinking he probably is asleep now. Wide awake.

[Bobby Lee]

Wide awake.

[Andrew Santino]

Not one hour of sleep on 15 hour flight. And now what's happening?

[Bobby Lee]

I can't sleep.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. See, I told you so.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you're right. But I refuse.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Good for you.

[Bobby Lee]

Right, Right.

[Andrew Santino]

You should. I would rather.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's another thing.

[Andrew Santino]

I would rather. You know what? I'd rather this for you. I like this.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you do. And here's another thing that I did. What? A long time ago, you and I went bowling. Yeah, right. And you try to teach me how to bowl.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I refuse.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

But then when we went to Sonny's birthday party. Yeah, right. Charles Melton taught me exactly what you taught me. But I listened to what he said. Do you remember?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And I started bowling correctly. Right. And I looked at you and I think you were a little upset by it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So it's like, you know, I like if he teases me something, I refuse to listen. But if it's like anybody else, right. With the same knowledge. Because he has all he's Mr. Know it all right. But I don't know why that is. Why is that you think?

[Andrew Santino]

Because you resent the fact that I'm younger than you, but no more than you.

[Carlos Santos]

He's talented too. There's literally nothing you can't do.

[Andrew Santino]

God bless.

[Carlos Santos]

We talked about it the other day. I said can you name one thing you can't do? And you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not true. I said he couldn't do that.

[Carlos Santos]

He couldn't.

[Bobby Lee]

He can't beat me.

[Carlos Santos]

That's the one.

[Andrew Santino]

He can't be.

[Bobby Lee]

He can't beat me. He can't beat me in ping pong.

[Andrew Santino]

How about this? I can't play piano and he's beautiful.

[Bobby Lee]

Piano. Ping pong.

[Andrew Santino]

Ping pong. I can beat you. Get a table.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God. Tennis.

[Andrew Santino]

A tennis. We might be more evenly matched.

[Bobby Lee]

I was in tennis team in high school.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. And that was 40 years ago.

[Bobby Lee]

It doesn't matter. I hadn't ridden a bike since I was in high school. We went rode a bike in fucking Australia.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no phrase that's. Hey, it's just like tennis. Once you learn, you never know. Not learn. There is no tennis phrase.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, it. It goes to tennis.

[Andrew Santino]

It's just like hitting a tennis ball.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Once you know, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

Once you know, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We did ride a beautiful bike around Rotnes island and had a gorgeous day at Rotnes Island. Probably one of our best days.

[Carlos Santos]

What a roller coaster though.

[Andrew Santino]

Incredible, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Carlos Santos]

Well, cuz we. I kind of hyped it up the entire trip and Bobby kept pulling to me aside and saying, listen, I know everyone says they're the cutest animals on earth, but what if we get there and they don't like us?

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Carlos Santos]

And we got there and they were all just like looking for food Because.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you why.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

May I tell you why?

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

My wisdom on this?

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at them right there.

[Carlos Santos]

Oh my God, they are cute.

[Bobby Lee]

They're so cute.

[Andrew Santino]

Rice. They're so cute.

[Bobby Lee]

They're so cute. So edible, by the way.

[Andrew Santino]

They look very edible.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. They look like porgs.

[Andrew Santino]

They look like. They look like little Andres. Yeah, Little Andres.

[Bobby Lee]

So here's the situation here, guy. My friend is. Is that. I'll tell you how the quakas came into my. I told you right?

[Andrew Santino]

How? Yeah. Jim. Jeff.

[Bobby Lee]

Jim Jeffries, right. Months ago, pulled me aside, mate, you gotta see the quokkas.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He told me the island, everything, right? So I've been thinking and dreaming about quokkas. A long time.

[Andrew Santino]

I get that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then when we got there, some bloke, some Australian bloke says to me, mate, you know why they call it Rottnest Island? I go, why? And he goes, because the first guy that went there, right. Thought they were rats. So in my mind, I'm like, oh, they're not. They're. They're not. As cuz what we see, we. I thought they were like going to be real small, like rats.

[Andrew Santino]

Me too. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. But then when I saw. That's me. Yeah. When I. Yep.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that. You taking a photo with one so beautifully.

[Carlos Santos]

Oh, the Joey's coming out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the little Joey's coming out of the stomach. Dude, that was like magical.

[Andrew Santino]

In love.

[Bobby Lee]

In love with that.

[Carlos Santos]

And that was like four hours into the trip. You got that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that was the last second we were about to. We're about to board the boat to go home.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because I don't.

[Andrew Santino]

Here's.

[Bobby Lee]

You know when people go crazy over celebrities?

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. That's how I. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I go less crazy. Yeah. I take a step back and I go, you know, I'm better than that. Right. So there was a lot of quokka fawning.

[Andrew Santino]

A lot of fawning.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Right. So I'm like, no, you know, I'm gonna be cool about this. But after like two or three hours, like, what the are you doing? It's a quack. I take a photo.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. You were like three hours in. You're like, I'm ready.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm ready to take a. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but I see, this is what I appreciate about you. You waited till you felt like it was time, and guess what?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That photo is proof that if you wait, good things will come.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

Because a lot of people got a lot of bad photos of them with quokkas not looking at them. You, on the other hand, have a picture perfect. Picture with.

[Bobby Lee]

Perfect. Because I had the little baby in the stomach one.

[Andrew Santino]

It was unbelievable.

[Bobby Lee]

It was really. What an unbelievable.

[Andrew Santino]

So the proof is in the pudding, kiddo. If you wait, good things will come.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, don't call me kiddo anymore.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, baby doll. I think it's kind of funny. We got. We got a lot of love down there in Australia and we want to thank.

[Bobby Lee]

It was probably. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, that's it. I just want to say. We want to thank.

[Bobby Lee]

It was probably. Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, sorry. Go ahead. I just want to say that I. I want to thank. Cut me off again.

[Bobby Lee]

Probably.

[Andrew Santino]

There it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to thank all the fans from down Under. It was one of the best experiences we've ever had. I mean, it was unfucking real.

[Bobby Lee]

So it was so fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Life changing.

[Bobby Lee]

Life changing.

[Andrew Santino]

We had people come to the show that are actor friends of ours that came and.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, can we talk about that?

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not gonna be mad?

[Andrew Santino]

What do I care? It's already. You already made fun of me half of the trip about it. I got mocked incessantly, even though what did Andrew provide except for great recommendations for food and hangout spots and cool things to see? But that's okay. But make fun of me more. It's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, then I will not. You're right.

[Andrew Santino]

I'd actually prefer it if you did. If you did. Go ahead, make fun of me.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, so you asked me to close the shows.

[Andrew Santino]

I asked you to close the shows because I wasn't feeling good.

[Bobby Lee]

Good. That's fine. And I 100 back that because you. I'll do whatever.

[Andrew Santino]

Usually we switch off.

[Bobby Lee]

Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

And I said, will you end up closing some of these shows, please?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we. But I close. Except for the one, so.

[Andrew Santino]

Except for one what?

[Bobby Lee]

One of the shows.

[Andrew Santino]

So what?

[Bobby Lee]

So you didn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, let me finish. You know, he knows what I'm talking about.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Every other show. I just wanted to close one of the shows.

[Carlos Santos]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

This is so interesting what you're doing. So interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

What? What did I do?

[Bobby Lee]

I wasn't there, but I. I get the picture. You get the picture, right? So there's one show where he goes, you know what, Bob? I'm gonna. I'm gonna close this particular one. I'm like, mike, wow. I thought I was gonna close all of them. Right. And then it was the show that. It was Dakota Fanning, Sarah, Smooch, Smooth, Bridie and slip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Smooch.

[Jess]

These are.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Now, what I'm saying is that. So the one show that your celebrity friends are coming, you're like, I want to close because I want to make seem.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, they came to see me because they're not a fan of you.

[Bobby Lee]

See what you're doing right now. No, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm just being honest.

[Bobby Lee]

Yay.

[Andrew Santino]

You like the honesty. I don't really care about Bobby. So I said, would you guys like me to go last? I'd prefer.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Less of you.

[Bobby Lee]

Whatever.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I just want to tell you, whatever the reason, if you like the truth.

[Bobby Lee]

Whatever. I love.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no. If you like this little truth.

[Bobby Lee]

I love the truth.

[Andrew Santino]

They all Literally said, we're not fans of Bobby Lee.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Both comedically, personally. And I said, that's rude. That's my partner.

[Bobby Lee]

I love what you're doing. I love what you're doing right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, these are their words.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't think.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like it as a stand up or as a podcaster.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Andrew Santino]

They go, we're not. We're. That's just not our style. And I said, maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

What would it matter who went up first then?

[Andrew Santino]

No, it doesn't.

[Bobby Lee]

They're gonna see me anyway. They saw me anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

Because you hate it if I do too much time. You about it every time. So if I go second, then you're not going to complain to me, right?

[Bobby Lee]

It was just an observation. I don't know if it's the truth.

[Andrew Santino]

But I'm giving you the truth.

[Bobby Lee]

It could have been one show. You're like, here's a deal. It could have been one show. It's like, you know what? I just feel like closing out the second.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. The truth really is, I thought, okay, if they're coming to see, I'm not going to have you get upset at me because I did too much time in the front. So I was like, let me close the show so I don't hear it from you. Because every show we've ever done, if I do too much time and there's proof in the booth, you do get mad.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so, all right, so are you.

[Andrew Santino]

Going to be honest and say that that's true?

[Bobby Lee]

That is the truth?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Because you go, let me ask.

[Andrew Santino]

And then I see, I hear backstage, you going like this. He's doing too much time. He's always doing too much time.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay?

[Andrew Santino]

Because these guys, they rat you out. They rat me out. Let me say something.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me tell you something, right? The reason why him out. I'm sorry, all right, What I'm saying is, is that.

[Andrew Santino]

So your beef is not with me, pal.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you.

[Andrew Santino]

It's with the rat island.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay? Let me say. All right, first of all, right, you rat dude.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, you both are. You rat and number two. And number two, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Don't hide now, pal.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Don't hide.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me. I'm going to say something to you. Yeah, okay. You're one of the best comics on.

[Andrew Santino]

First of all. Let me.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me finish.

[Andrew Santino]

Cut it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me. He's one of the best comics on planet Earth. Okay? No, listen, right? We're playing in front of thousands and people, right? Do you know how hard it is. I'm blocking your face. Do you know how hard it is to follow this guy in any environment?

[Andrew Santino]

We say the same thing about you.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, okay. My point is, is that, you know, I mean, I'm sorry that I, at times don't want to work that hard. Okay, I'm sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to work that hard. And number two, right back me up now. Now, you two rats. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Time out. Real fast, real fast.

[Bobby Lee]

Truth is out there, and I love the.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but let me stop. The truth.

[Bobby Lee]

Real. Okay, good.

[Andrew Santino]

Two. Two. Two things. Real fast, real fast.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

One, clearly, they never said that about you. You know I'm joking. You know I'm joking.

[Bobby Lee]

I just ratted myself out.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, I just said.

[Bobby Lee]

Listen, I just admitted that I do complain. And now. That was some fucking Jedi shit, dude. That was on co. Don't do that.

[Carlos Santos]

He knows everything.

[Bobby Lee]

Knows everything, dude. Mr. Know It All.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I finish them?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Two things.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

One, they never said it about you because you know that they're all in love with you. I made that up as a joke. But two, to who?

[Bobby Lee]

Dakota Fanning? Them?

[Andrew Santino]

All of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course they didn't.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but. But let me level this. Let me level this, okay? To make this even more fair. That is true. I did want to go second, because I did. I did not want you to get mad at me about the time. And then to make both of these things together, these guys will also tell you, the rat fucking scumbag loser, that they'll tell you the exact same thing that I say about you when you're on stage, verbatim. I go. I don't know why he doesn't go second. He's crushing. And I don't want to go after that. Do I not say that to you? So, yes. Okay, so the same thing you say to them, I say to them about you as well. Okay, so. So we're good. We're good. Were we really mad at.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but we're not good yet.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay?

[Carlos Santos]

I love this because my parents divorced when I was six, so I never got this.

[Bobby Lee]

So let me. So let me. Let me just, you know, like, go to the committee. Okay, so McCone, right?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I had a burp.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. McConnell. Look at me. Why do you think he wanted to go second? Just in your opinion, you know, I mean, your opinion that only the second show on Melrose.

[Carlos Santos]

Don't look at me.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you doing, dude, you're about to lie. I could Just see, you did a swallow.

[Jess]

You wanted to look cool in front of his actor friends.

[Andrew Santino]

There it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos.

[McCone]

I think he wanted to show what a good comedian he was in front of his friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. And.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

That's great.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I told you what it was.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't want to hear it from you if I went long. That's real. I did not want to hear your bullshit about you going. Because, by the way, I did 30 minutes because I wanted to do more time. I wanted to give him the best.

[Bobby Lee]

Version of the show.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Fancy.

[Carlos Santos]

What are you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

What are you doing? We were just. We were just sailing through this. So here's the issue.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Let that sink in.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want it to.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, it's already.

[Andrew Santino]

Just clean it off.

[Bobby Lee]

Once you get hiv, you have it.

[Andrew Santino]

Not anymore, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I haven't taken the cocktail yet.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, please do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I just took some of hiv, but can you see a shot of it?

[Andrew Santino]

He's walked into the porg, at least.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So at least he's embraced it.

[Bobby Lee]

You said that's the best part of the show. No, Fancy, no, no. Listen. If this is going to be about the truth and if we're putting it on the table, let's just do it. Let's not like, you know, let's be cowboys.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. So I told you my truth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I believe you.

[Andrew Santino]

I genuinely. I just want to do a lot of time.

[Bobby Lee]

So I. I just heard your truth and you know what?

[Andrew Santino]

Nice. Fancy. Way to go.

[Bobby Lee]

So anyway, wow. What a great trip.

[Andrew Santino]

It was incredible.

[Carlos Santos]

It was awesome. We saw kangaroos.

[Andrew Santino]

We did. We. Jess and I went for a long walk and saw some roos.

[Carlos Santos]

That was awesome.

[Andrew Santino]

It was incredible. And then in Auckland, Carlos went to a brothel, which I'm sure is.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you. Can you talk about it?

[McCone]

Yeah, of course.

[Bobby Lee]

We already talked about it.

[McCone]

Yeah, it was more independent.

[Carlos Santos]

Oh, mom and pop.

[Andrew Santino]

Less corporate. Yeah.

[McCone]

It was just in a hotel room and there was like a closed barrier, like when you walked into the left.

[Andrew Santino]

So there was someone else hooking up in there as well.

[McCone]

So she was like, go shower. And so I went and showered. Like, I faked it a little bit.

[Carlos Santos]

What do you mean you faked it?

[Andrew Santino]

I had already showered.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't do.

[Carlos Santos]

So, like, you just went in there and pretended to soak.

[Andrew Santino]

Why wouldn't you just shower again?

[Bobby Lee]

Shower.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[McCone]

Double soap. It just too much.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry.

[McCone]

I didn't want to do.

[Andrew Santino]

So double soap. It is too much.

[Carlos Santos]

Like, you get Extra clean.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What does that even mean?

[McCone]

I didn't want to do two soaps.

[Bobby Lee]

But it's not your body, it's your breath.

[Carlos Santos]

That's what they meant when they can't.

[Andrew Santino]

Wash that in the shower.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't what? You know, and let. Can we discuss. Can we discuss that for a second? Okay.

[McCone]

There was no discussion.

[Bobby Lee]

There's not anything that smells particularly like that.

[Carlos Santos]

That's why prostitutes don't kiss.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why prostitutes don't kiss. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You kiss.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. No, it's a level of. It's. You know what it is? Okay. When. You know. You know, when you're in a porta Potty, you know what. What it is, right? You go, that's a mixture of poo and pee. Generations of it, Right? Right. When you go, whatever, right? When you're at. Like, when you're in skid row, right? You kind of know what those sm. You. I mean, people that are bo. Dirty. You know, I mean. You know. I mean. Yeah, yeah. Et cetera, et cetera.

[Andrew Santino]

I get that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Right. With his is a particular kind of skank.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Stench that you don't know quite what it is, Right?

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

It's like, there's salami, right? But then there's also dirt, but then there's also, like, you know. I mean, like, you know. Vomit.

[Andrew Santino]

Vomit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[McCone]

But it's like, it's from vaping and.

[Bobby Lee]

A bunch, but it's a lot. But it's like. Also, here's another thing that you can do, which is, I think, an X Men power. You can project it from across the room.

[Carlos Santos]

Whoa. That is like a power. If you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I could literally walk in a room and go, oh, Carlos is here. Before even I see you.

[Carlos Santos]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll be real. I'll go, oh, Carlos. I don't even have to look like you're just there.

[Andrew Santino]

Does it leave a trail or something?

[Bobby Lee]

It's a projection. I don't know. It's weird. It's like a funk.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it? What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

What is it?

[McCone]

I think it's because I don't eat enough.

[Andrew Santino]

Because you don't eat enough food?

[McCone]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So your stomach is eating itself? Yeah, that's bile. Bile.

[McCone]

Well, every morning I throw up blood and stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. What are we going? What? No, no, don't do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[McCone]

I'm still alive, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. When's the last time you saw a doctor?

[McCone]

I'll see My dad in a couple days and I'll see what's up.

[Bobby Lee]

Well. Oh, so your dad is your doctor?

[McCone]

Oh, yeah. I just text him and they.

[Carlos Santos]

Do you call him Dr. Dad?

[Andrew Santino]

Dr. Dad on NBC. Wait a minute. Do you. Does he ever run blood work on you?

[McCone]

No, he just.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, you need blood work.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you ever run blood work on yourself?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you ever? I've never. You've never done that?

[McCone]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

You. Honestly, dude, at your age, you have to run blood work.

[McCone]

I mean, I've gotten STD tests.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not the same thing. I'm talking about holistic. Your whole body needs to know, like, maybe you have allergies to something. You can have some stuff going on that you don't know.

[McCone]

That's like, what hot girl?

[Andrew Santino]

And I'm not even talking about your breath. He's. I'm talking about separately. You should run blood work, dude. To know what.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm talking about. Your breath.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. That part is.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm talking about it.

[Carlos Santos]

What if he does blood work? What if he does blood work and the results to come back.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad breath.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Even the blood is like.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Even, like, when. Like, sometimes I'll say, get me mints.

[McCone]

Just trying to, like, make it easy.

[Bobby Lee]

But you. So you haven't asked when we're doing shows, do I ever say that?

[Andrew Santino]

When he says get me mints, he.

[Bobby Lee]

Means I go get Royal me. I'm trying not be rude. Right? It's a message.

[Andrew Santino]

He doesn't get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Get me gum mints. Right? And get me, you know, I mean, toothpaste, mouthwash. It's not for me. I don't use it. It's for you.

[McCone]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's that hint.

[McCone]

I had a lot of mints in Australia. I always had some on me.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[McCone]

I just have to.

[Andrew Santino]

You won't believe this. I saw him put a mint in his mouth and jump back.

[Carlos Santos]

Kill me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Blue Chew. I got some Blue Chew yesterday.

[Andrew Santino]

When you eat it, I feel it.

[Bobby Lee]

I gave one.

[Andrew Santino]

I can tell when you're on it because with bluechew, by the way, ladies and gentlemen, it's an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost in chewable form.

[Bobby Lee]

The process is simple. Sign up to bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.

[Andrew Santino]

And some people are like, how hard do you get, Guys? I'll tell you how hard Bobby sometimes takes it, calls me on the phone and then puts a speaker up to his wiener. And it's. That's what it sounds like. I say, someone at the door, he goes, no, it's my.

[Bobby Lee]

I get Dwayne Johnson.

[Andrew Santino]

You get Dwayne Johnson. Heart like the rock that is, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They always say there's nothing sexier than confidence. Bluetooth is going to give you that confidence in the bedroom. Lock it up.

[Bobby Lee]

Does it work? Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you think you'll need it? Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Try it free for a month and see. You're going to love it. Your partner is going to love it. Why won't you do it? Do it now.

[Andrew Santino]

Do it now. Bluetooth wants men rock hard. They told us that's the mission. They will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house. Till every tent is pitched, every rod is raised. Discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our audience. Try Bluechew free. Just pay $5 for shipping at checkout when you visit BlueChew.com, that's BlueChew.com to receive your first month free.

[Bobby Lee]

Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Mint Mobile.

[Bobby Lee]

You know when you discover a new binge worthy show or a song that you bump on repeat and you have to share it with your friends so they can experience just how awesome it is?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh yes I do. That's the kind of feeling like when you discover Mint Mobile offers Premium Wireless for $15 a month when you can purchase a three month plan. It's such an awesome deal. There's no way you could keep it to yourself. Tell everyone you know about it, friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't let friends overpay for wireless. Say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plan and switch to Mint Mobile.

[Andrew Santino]

Mint Mobile is here to rescue you and your squad with premium wireless plans starting at 15 bucks a month. That is nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you get this? New customers Tell them about it.

[Andrew Santino]

To get this new customer offer and your new 3 month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com badfriends that's mint mobile.com bad friends cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com bad friends $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first 3 month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. C Mint mobile for details.

[Bobby Lee]

Adam and Eve, you guys. When I'm my. When I. When I. When I play with my oral pleasure. When I play with my Ding Dong, I use equipment from Adam and Eve. And it's the best sensations on my.

[Andrew Santino]

So good. And they have every single toy you've ever dreamed of. Whether it's coming out of your tush or your ring. A ding. A ding on your pole. They got the best deals ever over there. Four toys for $20. They're saving you up to $175 with this exclusive offer. It's incredible. They have every toy you've ever dreamed. All the lube you can dream of.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Holidays are around the corner. Treat yourself or your partner to the best stocking stuffers. Take a [e-mail] bad to see what four sex toys will be yours for just 20.

[Andrew Santino]

Go to adamandeve.com bad it's the only way to get this offer. Go to amandeve.combad and pick any four sex toys for just $20.

[Bobby Lee]

@Adamandeve.Com bat four sex toys will be yours for just $20.

[Andrew Santino]

Go to adamandeve.combad and pick ANY four sex toys for just $20. Play this video of him coming on stage in Sydney. This is Bobby coming on stage in Sydney. Jesus Christ.

[Carlos Santos]

So great.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

8,500 people at this show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Man.

[Jess]

There was more people at that show than in the state of Nevada when it was admitted into the Union in 1860.

[Carlos Santos]

It was almost a great moment.

[Andrew Santino]

Do I get the Mr. Know It all thing now or is it good passed to this fucking guy? That's a great.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you've influenced them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's basically Baby Know it all. Yeah, that's Baby Know it All.

[Andrew Santino]

Baby Know it All. I don't even come up with shit like that. I don't know what.

[Carlos Santos]

Cause you know it all. But you also know timing.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah, that's what it is.

[Carlos Santos]

But he knows a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me ask you, McCone, do you know about Keiko?

[Jess]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Do you know about kickoff?

[Andrew Santino]

What's the Nevada thing? What is this saying?

[Jess]

I saw this in a video the other day. When Nevada was became a state in 1860, they had just over 6,000 people. And I thought that's crazy. There was more people in the audience.

[Andrew Santino]

Not gonna lie. That is amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's insane. A state when it was formed.

[Carlos Santos]

Influence. Influence.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See how no Influence each other. Yeah, yeah, good boy.

[Andrew Santino]

He's learning. Yeah, good boy. You're Actually.

[Bobby Lee]

But my kind of know it all. Carlos is you, Right? Yeah. What's up, bro?

[McCone]

What's up?

[Bobby Lee]

What's up? We don't.

[Andrew Santino]

Those few things. He doesn't know.

[Bobby Lee]

We know nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

So let me ask you, though, not to stick on this joke. Do you go to see a dental hygienist, though?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't just have. You don't.

[McCone]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Will you.

[Carlos Santos]

I think it's. Will they.

[McCone]

Choose?

[Bobby Lee]

That's very funny. Yes. They will not. I. I will.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[McCone]

I. I haven't been.

[Carlos Santos]

And, you know, he has his picture up at the. At this office.

[Bobby Lee]

He's banned.

[Andrew Santino]

Wanted. Wanted.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Dead.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. So you won't go?

[McCone]

I just do other things.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But wait, why won't you go see somebody?

[McCone]

Because I'm healthy. I'm alive.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you afraid of a dentist? Is that what that is?

[McCone]

No, I'm really not. I'm just lazy. Like how My car.

[Andrew Santino]

But this tripping me out was last time you went to a dentist? For real.

[McCone]

When I was a teenager.

[Bobby Lee]

Check this out.

[Andrew Santino]

In fucking 30 years.

[McCone]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And check it out. What am I doing?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Who was that?

[Andrew Santino]

You're a dentist.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. It's worse.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Every woman that makes.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. All right, all right.

[McCone]

That wasn't Kalila.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wow. Shots fucking fire, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. There we go.

[Andrew Santino]

The frequency of dental visits depends on your individual circumstances. However, the ADA recommends. The American Dental association recommends adults and children see the dentist every six months.

[McCone]

That's so dorky. No one does that.

[Andrew Santino]

I think that almost everyone I know does.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? Yeah. I go to dentist.

[Andrew Santino]

Everyone in this room goes to the dentist. You don't. You don't ever. I mean, at the very least, once a year is definitely what you should do.

[McCone]

I did tell Jesse this, but I did brush my teeth with Sprite and Adelaide.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah, I forgot about that. I supplies Sprite. And he goes. I don't know what fizz is.

[Andrew Santino]

Bro.

[Carlos Santos]

He's just rubbing sugar on his teeth.

[Andrew Santino]

Bro.

[Bobby Lee]

Bro. Dude. That's the problem.

[Andrew Santino]

That is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think we found it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. We found the problem.

[Andrew Santino]

You're brushing your teeth with spit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[McCone]

I was too lazy to go to the bathroom.

[Bobby Lee]

Just do it with Pop Rocks. Those fists do. Dog. Do you smell? I mean, is there other smells in your body that you're not aware of or privy to?

[McCone]

I don't know. I can't smell them. I can't smell.

[Bobby Lee]

You can smell, but I can't smell.

[McCone]

Like marijuana or anything like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You dip you dip and smell.

[Andrew Santino]

You dip and smell.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[McCone]

Like dip your finger in your butt and smell it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, not the pot.

[Carlos Santos]

No, no, but don't start there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, don't start there. No, but I'll like. I'll go like this and do that armpit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you done that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. I want to surf. See if I'm on track.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think we need to get this solved. And I mean this, because now I feel like it's dangerous. Are you really throwing up in the mornings?

[McCone]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, buddy, come on.

[Carlos Santos]

That's not good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, that's not good.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, then stuff's going on.

[McCone]

It's like indigestion. It's a whole thing. And Mako knows my pillows have blood on them when I wake up.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, McCone, you're not voicing this to us ever. You're not going. Hey, guys, I think you should know this both for the sake of health and comedy.

[Jess]

I mean, I feel like Everybody who's like 10 years older than me, I'm like, oh, they got it somewhat figured out.

[Andrew Santino]

No, they don't.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

No, they don't.

[Jess]

They got it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, there is no such thing.

[Carlos Santos]

I did love all the music we made together, though, with the piano and you're singing and the trumpet.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna say it right now, dude. I said, you backstage, say it. And I don't know if you really took this to heart, but I mean, this. I said, man, it's incredible when you are freestyling on the piano and she's backing you up and just flowing with it. It's extremely impressive. Maybe I'm a fucking underexposed person to that kind of style of music, but it fucking blew my mind. Every night I would sit down when you would freestyle on the piano and you would just smooth come in. I was. I'm genuine. I'm being so genuine to you guys. It's so impressive to me. And maybe I'm don't know about music composition and composition and theory, but it was incredible. I'm not basic chords, really. Sure, yeah, maybe. But it was gorgeous.

[Bobby Lee]

I do also have to say that the shows versus the shows we did in America year a couple years ago were way tighter over there.

[Andrew Santino]

We were much tighter. Well, we had 60 cities of practice.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, we found a groove. We found a definitely groove with all of it. It just. Feet seems faster.

[Andrew Santino]

It was smooth and smoother. And we had some incredible people fans to help out in the show. We had a woman who was Able to squirt breast milk out of her mouth, into my mouth, out of her title and spit it like milk coming out.

[Bobby Lee]

She squirted breast milk and it's sour. It doesn't taste like oat milk or.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, what do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, it does not taste like oat milk or.

[Bobby Lee]

Or any milk that I've ever had.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Because it was like, sour.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a human milk.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, human milk.

[Andrew Santino]

Human milk. And let's see it right here. Let's play a clip there. Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

So much more than insane. Wow, wow, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

That's all breast milk now. Those babies are not going to go hungry. That is. That's a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

And can I say something, too? Probably one of the best breasts I've ever seen.

[Andrew Santino]

Gorgeous.

[Bobby Lee]

You saw them, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I snuck back.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, they were a perfect breast.

[Andrew Santino]

And her husband approved. We asked her. Yeah, we said.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

We said. She goes, my talent is that I can squirt breast milk very far. And that's us asking her husband. I'm saying, dude, do you. Was this cool? Do you approve? And he was thumbs up all day.

[Bobby Lee]

What show is that? The show that Dakota was at.

[Jess]

It was.

[Andrew Santino]

That was that. Yeah, that was.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that was a magical show. That's a magical show.

[Andrew Santino]

Then Sarah Snook, Jake Lacey.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Jake Lacey from White White Lotus.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'm dying up here.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm dying up here.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how we.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But Sarah Snook, who is secession. Such an incredible actress.

[Bobby Lee]

I walked up to her and I, I just kind of grabbed her arms.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I have such a crush on her, talent wise. You know what I mean? Like, I think she's so talented.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm like, God, I know. I love Dakota. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

She's the.

[Bobby Lee]

She's so not what you think.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because she's. You know what, what's funny is when you grow up in LA and you meet people that grew up in la, they're like actors that grew up here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I guess it's more. You have a projection of an idea of who you think they are. You do, because you meet some kids that grew up here and they act and it's a thing. And, you know, even though she moved here as a young kid, she kind of grew up here.

[Bobby Lee]

But you see a lot of young actors because I know a lot that they play by the Hollywood rules, so they don't want to say the wrong thing or they want it. They're just very, like in the middle about things. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Political.

[Bobby Lee]

Political.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

She seemed to be. She reminded me more of a comic.

[Andrew Santino]

She floats her own way.

[Bobby Lee]

She's like cool. Like, just accept.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

She loved the show.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The show was wild.

[Andrew Santino]

It's really nice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Feel free and not feel like. Because our show is insane. Like, you know, Sarah brought their 14 year old son and when they came backstage, I was like, do you want him to see this show?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And she was like, yeah. I mean, why not? Who cares?

[Carlos Santos]

And they just saw Neil Degrasse Tyson play there.

[Andrew Santino]

We played the same venue as Rocket Scientist. Deal.

[Bobby Lee]

Rocket Scientist.

[Andrew Santino]

I said, and we're sucking on titmilk.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Rock and roll.

[Bobby Lee]

Incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

Rock and roll. It was a great trip over.

[Bobby Lee]

Great. Yeah. The whole trip was good.

[Andrew Santino]

There's only one part of it I didn't like.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me.

[Andrew Santino]

Tell me one part of it I didn't like.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me. You know what it was, McConnell.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you make me mad the whole. The whole show? Did you? Did I. Was I mad at you? A little bit? I was.

[Bobby Lee]

What was the anger about? Forgotten.

[Andrew Santino]

I can tell you exactly what it is because it's a little bit of jealousy is what it was.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

We played the clip on here of you walking out to Sydney to all those fans.

[Bobby Lee]

Great.

[Carlos Santos]

Oh, I knew it. As soon as I saw Bobby post that, I knew this was.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not mad at Bobby. I said to him, did you get us all coming out to the fucking crowd?

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, he didn't get you coming out?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

There's got to that. That doesn't make my head.

[Andrew Santino]

He does not.

[Carlos Santos]

And you were rewatching it all day on your Instagram. And I just knew that he.

[Andrew Santino]

I was. I wasn't upset at you. I was. I said to him, did you get everybody getting that shot?

[Jess]

I got all of us going out.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that what I asked you? I said, did you get me or Jesse going on stage to the big crowd?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to. I don't want to fight you. Andrew.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Can I side with McCone for a second?

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting.

[Carlos Santos]

Interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting. Someone's trying to get under Mr. No Doll tutelage.

[Bobby Lee]

Huh? What?

[Andrew Santino]

Someone's trying to be Mr. No It all for the show.

[Bobby Lee]

I just. Just a little thing.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

I did go up to him before the show and I go, make sure you get me coming out.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting. Okay. That. That has no bearing.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That he would literally go, I should probably get everybody coming out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but that doesn't mean. Yeah, you're right.

[Andrew Santino]

That doesn't mean 8,500 seats.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're right. You might. Yes.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You assume if one of us said, hey, make sure you get the shot, why wouldn't your instinct go, I should get this for Jess.

[Carlos Santos]

You were already on stage.

[Andrew Santino]

Correct.

[Carlos Santos]

At that moment. So he couldn't go back.

[Andrew Santino]

It was also. No, no, no. He asked him before the show.

[Carlos Santos]

Oh, I thought it was like.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no.

[Jess]

I was running up to run the cameras to get the back of everyone going, because I have running second camera.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't. It's over to me. And that will always lay inside of me as something that you disappointed me at. And it turned me. I was extremely upset. I went to my hotel room and I said, not happy. Doesn't care. Doesn't care.

[Carlos Santos]

Almost a Dollywood moment that day.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty close. That wasn't why I was feeling that way. But that. That. That Dollywood moment almost happened again. Yeah. I had a day that was scary. I needed.

[Carlos Santos]

I kept wanting to hang out with you so bad, but I knew it would be best to just sleep.

[Andrew Santino]

I had to go to the gym. I had to just walk away. But McCone was a big sliver. A big sliver in my hand. Ow. How do I get this out?

[Bobby Lee]

Right? I do have to say my relationship with McOne got better on the trip.

[Andrew Santino]

Mm.

[Carlos Santos]

Because. Because of that.

[Bobby Lee]

No, not because of that. I feel like he was trying to. She was trying.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. I will say he was trying.

[Andrew Santino]

You're welcome.

[Carlos Santos]

Every one of my.

[Bobby Lee]

Excuse me.

[Andrew Santino]

That's me. That's all me.

[Bobby Lee]

I know it is.

[Andrew Santino]

That's all me. Molding and shaping.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, I know it is.

[Andrew Santino]

And you know who didn't try on the trip at all? Who didn't put any effort into the trip whatsoever? Carlos.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Shout out to Carlos. He worked very hard.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

You killed it, Carla.

[Andrew Santino]

You actually did a phenomenal job.

[McCone]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

I appreciate a phenomenal job. Much better than we expected you to do. You went above and beyond fancy. You didn't do shit. You stayed back and caught up. Check.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's talk about the best hotels you think we stayed at.

[Andrew Santino]

I think the coolest one we stayed at was the W in W was good in Brisbane.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That hotel was wildly dope.

[Bobby Lee]

But also my second was the Ritz Carlton, the last night of.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Was it Perth?

[Andrew Santino]

What night?

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, the Crown.

[Bobby Lee]

The Crown. I mean, yeah, the Crown.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We had nobu that night.

[Andrew Santino]

Incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

Incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

A little Nobu dinner.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And the kid never. Kids. Kids never had Nobu, right?

[Carlos Santos]

Never.

[Andrew Santino]

You're welcome didn't say thank you once. Didn't say.

[Bobby Lee]

Ungrateful. Really? Huh.

[Andrew Santino]

Did not. Did you say thank you? Did.

[Jess]

We said it a few times.

[Andrew Santino]

When do you remember? Give me the time.

[Carlos Santos]

He probably has it on camera.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got a time stamp of it.

[Jess]

I'll pull it up.

[Carlos Santos]

That dinner was amazing. I love the lazy Susan.

[Andrew Santino]

Love a good lazy Susan. Love a good lazy Susan. And we had enough. We had. Overall, man, every city did what we thought they were going to do. Nobody let us down. Every city was amazing. Every venue was great. And let's be honest. Can we be honest? We thought one of the cities you. We both were like, what if this isn't that good? Because of the venue.

[Carlos Santos]

Oh, yeah.

[McCone]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And it turned out to be great.

[Bobby Lee]

Which. Oh, yeah, that one.

[Andrew Santino]

We were both.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I walked into that. Oh, here's another Memphis.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you did say that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You thought it was another Memphis, Tennessee Tank. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But it wasn't.

[Bobby Lee]

That show was amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Amazing, amazing. One of the best shows, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

I had a panic attack that day.

[Bobby Lee]

Was that Brisbane.

[McCone]

Adelaide.

[Bobby Lee]

Adelaide.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, tell that story.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

On the plane. I had a panic attack and I was trying to, like, hold it together until I got to the hotel room so no one would know. And right at the end or. Well, when I got to the baggage claim, Bobby's like, go get me some donuts. So I'm, like, still trying to, like, hold my breathing together, and I'm ordering these donuts and the lady's taking forever, and shrimp's like, come on.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry.

[Carlos Santos]

No, you didn't know. And so I get the donuts and I get on the. The thing. And right when we park, Bobby's like, what's going on with you? And I was like, I think I'm having a panic attack.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you were having a panic.

[Carlos Santos]

And then he starts yelling to everyone, she's having a panic attack. I was like, you're making it worse.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, then I went back there and I go, are you really having a panic? At that. I didn't know if he was joking. And then you were just.

[Carlos Santos]

I just got to my hotel and, like, tried to control my breathing. Took a shower and, like, calm down.

[Andrew Santino]

Felt so bad.

[Carlos Santos]

And then the show was, like, transformative because it was like, all. I just could focus all my thinking just on the show and form and. Yeah, that venue was great. And yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Since we're being honest.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Since this is the honest show.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

When you get low, you get low.

[Andrew Santino]

When I get low, that's What? I said, I thought it could have been a royal. When people get low, they get low.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Right. No, when you get low, we can feel it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And there's always like a 12 hour period where it's like. We just know not to. But what happens to your mind there?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I have clinical depression, so I go into a deep, very dark, low hole.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I disappear.

[Bobby Lee]

Scary.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I get really. I feel so bad for you.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm being real. I'm always like, yeah. Going this. Oh, my God. I mean, I can't imagine.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. I want to get you out of it.

[Bobby Lee]

We try to get you out of. But then we don't even. We don't say anything. I think. I don't think I said to you anything to you that day.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you didn't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

But I would walk by your green room and just.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, if I'm being honest, if we want to talk real shit. Yeah. Yeah. I get fucking. I have. I have. I have depression. I get extremely dark and low. I think the worst negative thoughts. I'm sure there's fans that have exactly what I have or, you know, they do this thing. And I found my only solution is to not communicate with people because I just feel like I'll be mean or rude. And sometimes I am that. I just get snappy because I'm really low and I apologize if I am. And I find that if I can go and exercise or just break away for a second and just kind of do my own little thing, it helps me reset my bearings and then I can get back to it. And I've done it a few times with you guys, but that's just. Unfortunately. I think it's a part of my chemicals.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's a part of my unfortunate DNA. I'm born with this awful. You know, I don't even know how to describe it. It's awful. It sucks. I'm not proud of it. I'm not. But it also is who I really am. So I think if I service myself and I leave people alone, I can. I can figure it out. I found the tools for me to go. Okay. And you know what helped me? Shout out to. I'll tell you this. Shout out to the guy I met in the gym. I didn't want to talk to you. I absolutely didn't want to talk to you. I was lifting weights. I had headphones in and he approached me multiple times to talk. And I was being a little mean at first. I was do. I was like what's up? I did that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I've done that.

[Andrew Santino]

What? What? What? What? And then as soon as I dropped my internal guard, I thought, this guy's just a nice guy asking a question. And then I shout out to that guy. For some reason, it helped me, like, get back to where I needed to go, because I knew this was a test. I don't know what you believe in. I don't care if you believe in a God or a nod or a universal energy. This was 100% a test from the universe going, watch this. I was in the gym alone, and it was like, watch this. And it put this guy in front of me. And it was like, you can either be a grump and be bummed and ruined someone else's part of the tour, the other people you're performing, or you can take this guy as our little tool. And honestly, I felt great after that. Like, I it something in the universe gave me that guy. I believe that to be like, look at this happy go lucky, sweet guy who just wanted to talk, chat, didn't know me, had no, like. It wasn't like a fan. It was like just a guy wanting to chat about something. And I don't know. I wholeheartedly believe the universe was like, deal with this. Because you got to cut it out. And then it did. It, like, re triggered my. I got to be good for the other people on the show. It's not fair. It's not fair to your friends and performers and people who support you to bring your shit on other people.

[F]

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[Carlos Santos]

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[F]

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[Andrew Santino]

What is this clip that you want to play?

[Bobby Lee]

This is.

[Jess]

This is just Bobby throwing a cig.

[Andrew Santino]

Back at Carlos after you threw one at him first.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. So you threw one, then he just retaliated. But that seems fair. Eye for an eye, smoke for a smoke.

[Jess]

Leaves everyone blind.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Like the good old days.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a resentment, you know, your behavior. There is. There is something there. There has to be something there.

[Carlos Santos]

I think he loves you. But the bad breath is like. Like venom. Like it's taking over.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

Like the bad breath has something to do with him.

[Andrew Santino]

It's morphing into its own thing.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's because it's. It's. It's like actualizing. Yeah, it's becoming.

[Carlos Santos]

It's because he's changing. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, 100. Carlos has the. The change is there. I see it.

[McCone]

It's the responsibility all gave me.

[Andrew Santino]

So we gave you too much?

[McCone]

No, just the right amount for me to grow.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting. I will say this. We had a little talk off camera. People don't know we're working on right now. We looked up our analytics, and we, I think, are going to play a show in jolly old England. We're working on going to London for a show because our fans in the UK have said, why don't you guys come to us? The first country we went to outside the US Was, well, Canada, but we went to Australia. And I think we owe.

[Bobby Lee]

We owe it to our Australian London friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Our London. Our Londoner friends. So we're working on that right now.

[Bobby Lee]

So can we do this?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Make a whole vacation out of it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I know, but the problem with the Australia trip is that there was just too much traveling. I mean, what I would want is to be in Sydney for two or three extra days. Two days. So we can travel around. I know. It's. We lose money that way.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's fine. You mean London. So when we go to London.

[Bobby Lee]

No, we Go to London. I don't want to be like flying in and flying out. I want to. I spent two or three days. I want to go to the Emirates and look at.

[Carlos Santos]

I was just gonna ask. Yeah, we go there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I say something about you?

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

She saw the Champions League game today. Did you see it or the highlights?

[Carlos Santos]

I watched the whole thing. It started at noon. I put it on my big TV and just watched it.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Carlos Santos]

Because that's the best way I can learn the players is by watching them.

[Bobby Lee]

And so I know. What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Same thing.

[Carlos Santos]

I would love to.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

This is your.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it. So let me ask you something about our bond, right?

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you love the team or.

[Carlos Santos]

I love why I became an Arsenal.

[Bobby Lee]

Why, though?

[Andrew Santino]

Why do you think?

[Carlos Santos]

Well, it started to bond with Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you think it is that she likes to do?

[Bobby Lee]

Because of my passion.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. So that's where it started.

[Bobby Lee]

That's where it started.

[Andrew Santino]

She wants your love. So she loves what you love.

[Carlos Santos]

Well, let's face it. We don't. We love each other, but we don't have a lot to talk about. We went to a dinner together and they took our phones away and it was kind of hard for us.

[Bobby Lee]

That was a great day.

[Andrew Santino]

Hard for her.

[Carlos Santos]

It was great.

[Andrew Santino]

But we ran out of.

[Bobby Lee]

You were mad. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

They took away your phone and you were at dinner without a phone.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never seen that in my entire. I'm not kidding. In the 20 years I've known you, I've never seen you at a meal. Not on your phone.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. And if I liked Arsenal, then it would have been different.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So here's what happened, okay. We were gonna go eat. Go. And then you go, I don't want to have lunch.

[Carlos Santos]

You said you guys go get lunch.

[Bobby Lee]

You said you guys go get lunch verbatim. But then you were mad that we had lunch without you because you went.

[Andrew Santino]

To a fucking five star restaurant.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

If I knew you were going to Michelin, I thought you were just going to grab a snack like we've been doing. I didn't think you were going to go to a sit down Michelin restaurant. I thought, hey, grab lunch. We'll all just grab lunch and then we'll have a nice dinner.

[Bobby Lee]

But it was discovery.

[Carlos Santos]

So, yeah, we. We look.

[Bobby Lee]

We looked and looked and look. And then we found this place and then.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, we stumbled into a Michelin.

[Carlos Santos]

No, literally, we did.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Basically we walked by it.

[Andrew Santino]

We did.

[Bobby Lee]

Because there's no sign.

[Carlos Santos]

There was no sign it was stumbled.

[Andrew Santino]

Into a Michelin restaurant. Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So then I go, no, we Googled it.

[Andrew Santino]

There it is.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah, We Googled, literally, he. I was looking for restaurants. He goes, no, no, no, just type in expensive restaurants.

[Andrew Santino]

Correct.

[Carlos Santos]

Then we found one.

[Bobby Lee]

So there was. So we walked by and then. And then. And you go, I don't think we. It's here. I think it's gone.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I go, I think, you know that fancy door?

[Carlos Santos]

Go down those stairs and go. Read on the side door.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And she checked it was the restaurant. Yeah. And you had to ring a door. Doorbell.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. Then we got buzzed in.

[Carlos Santos]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

Walked down the stairs. It was probably one of the best meals we had.

[Andrew Santino]

I think this was in Sydney, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you remember the name of the place?

[Carlos Santos]

The Gidley, Something like that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the Gidley.

[Andrew Santino]

The Gidley.

[Carlos Santos]

I think that's what it was called.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, the Giddley. I think that's. It's close to that.

[Andrew Santino]

Shout out to the Gidley in Sydney.

[Carlos Santos]

It was incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

It is, mate.

[Carlos Santos]

But they took our phones, they put them in little. They go, here's something quirky we do here. We'll take your phones, put it in.

[Andrew Santino]

I respect the. Out of that. That's what Chappelle does at his shows.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And we sat there and then we didn't do. We talked.

[Carlos Santos]

We talked about comedy and, like, the state of comedy. But, like, that only lasts so long.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but.

[Carlos Santos]

But yeah, we went into this store in Perth that was a sports vintage store, and there was some Arsenal.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's how I was. Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

And I saw one that I really liked. It was like my fit, but I was like, I'm such a poser if I wear this. I go, well, you teach me about Arsenal. Is that weird? And he said, are you serious?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then so we. I educated her and she memorized a bunch of things. And now you can wear the jacket, I think.

[Carlos Santos]

I think. I think you can wear the jacket.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you can wear the jacket.

[Carlos Santos]

I really like them. It's. Cause it's like, I get super into certain shows, like Mr.

[Bobby Lee]

Rob. Wait, wait. Why are you guys laughing?

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's cute.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because it's sweet.

[Bobby Lee]

There's something else. Look at Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't. I'm. Yeah, I just thought it was nice.

[McCone]

No, because you're so strict on people about wearing jerseys and making them afraid of being posers that she should have just been able to wear.

[Carlos Santos]

Well, no, I will say Bobby's been nothing but, like, I was afraid if I wanted to like this team. He would get mad because that's his thing. But he's been nothing but, like. No, like, if you like it.

[Bobby Lee]

Because it's something that no one ever wants to talk to about with me.

[McCone]

Ian Edwards.

[Carlos Santos]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

He's a man. You fan. You can't believe you said that. I love this. She's doing it.

[Carlos Santos]

But I really. And I realized I've always wanted to get into a sport, but I never could know where to start.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

And it's like certain shows like Mr. Robot and Arcane, like, I love them so much, but they end. And I just. It clicked. Like sports. I get why people like them now.

[Andrew Santino]

They never end.

[Carlos Santos]

They never end.

[Andrew Santino]

You get new people every year, new seasons.

[Carlos Santos]

So I'm really into this.

[Bobby Lee]

The drama.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. I'm on season 40 of. Of all my local sports teams.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Except I don't like the cast on any of my sports teams.

[Carlos Santos]

Well, you switch to Arsenal. They're great.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I don't like soccer, but that's. That's the other thing is we just. We both love sports individually, but I just. I'm not a soccer guy. But I like that you like it.

[Carlos Santos]

I don't see how. It's like basketball and American football together.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Carlos Santos]

Because it moves so fast.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. But I like. I like fast paced scoring like you like basketball. Basketball's the best. It's fast paced scoring.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

But they're bouncing around the field. It's.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that sounded.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. The reason why I like soccer is because when you do score, it's just that much more potent.

[Carlos Santos]

I was screaming alone in my living room.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, man. Yeah, it is.

[Andrew Santino]

I just like to see black guys dunk.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I like to see.

[Carlos Santos]

Then. Arsenal is the one of the first teams to allow help black people on their team.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, then I definitely don't like them.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. Were they really awesome?

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. I didn't know that. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

So they were the first team to have black players.

[Carlos Santos]

One of them. I don't know if the first, but they got some backlash for that.

[Andrew Santino]

Some black lashes, a little bit of blacklash from that. So this is a photo here. This is a photo of McCone in bed with. Who is that?

[Bobby Lee]

That's my mom.

[Andrew Santino]

Now what are you doing in bed with.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa. Where'd you get that?

[Jess]

We got this from a fan.

[Andrew Santino]

Fan.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Jess]

And I. I didn't ever find a good time to show you guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I love that.

[Jess]

We literally got it the first day. And I would pack.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I have that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, can we just Put it up at the studio.

[Bobby Lee]

Here, I want it.

[Andrew Santino]

Why can't we put it here?

[Bobby Lee]

Please let me have it. My mom.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I mean you definitely have it. You have that photo?

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah, I was like, where'd they.

[Bobby Lee]

I can up like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, can we print out a real nice one? That looks like shit.

[Bobby Lee]

I want that one.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, we'll give you that one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I see it?

[Carlos Santos]

Wait, let Andrew hold it. I want to see a side by side.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you guys think? What do you say? Is it close? Is it close?

[Bobby Lee]

I hate you.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm Bobby. Mom. I love your mom too. So much. I actually miss her. And I'm coming out to Phoenix. Can you. When you go on, line it up.

[Carlos Santos]

Can I plug some dates? Yeah, I'm gonna Sunnyvale and Fort Worth and Dallas all next year. Colorado Springs, Rochester, New York. I know I'm forgetting some stuff, but it's all coming together. My tour, I'll post it. And my merch will be up to jet skijohnson.com with the glasses. The glasses will always be up on rainbow optics. But my T shirts, I finally got an online store that'll mail them out. So if you can't go to a live show where I'll always have merch, you can buy it online. Finally.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, is it. Is it jetkiJohnson.com? is that up your merch?

[Carlos Santos]

Yes, right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Go look at it. Let me pull it up. Also, by the way, to the Australian fans that asked us why the fuck we didn't bring merch, which I'll tell you why. We hunted for a way to bring you guys merch. Local companies, of course, is what we'd have to use because it would cost too much to ship merch in the United States. And all the local companies that we tried to work with, it just wasn't. It wasn't going to work. So that's why we just wasn't going to work out for us. For you guys. It wasn't cost effective or efficient for you guys to get good merch from us that we cared about to distribute to you. So we have great merch all the time on the website. So sorry we didn't bring anything with us, but it just wasn't going to work.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I ask you a question?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I got invited to a Thanksgiving with somebody. Should I go, you think?

[Andrew Santino]

Can you take sell Michael Bay. Michael Bay?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah. You're going to blow up that bathroom.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Imagine that. The whole table just explodes. Lights on fire.

[Bobby Lee]

You think I should go? I have no Plans from a personal perspective.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you want to come to my house?

[Bobby Lee]

Who's going to your house?

[Andrew Santino]

Nobody. My cousin and a friend or two. Yeah, maybe you come to my house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, maybe. But. But if the Michael Bay thing is real, go there 100. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I know your priorities.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Best friend.

[Bobby Lee]

I just think that. No, I just think that it would be like an interesting story.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course, I assume.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. My assumption, the reason I didn't invite you to Thanksgiving. Honestly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

My assumptions. You would not want to do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you know, it. Well, can I say something to you? Have I not been showing up to places?

[Andrew Santino]

No, you do.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm. Lately, I've been making. Being very mindful about going to different places.

[Andrew Santino]

I agree.

[Bobby Lee]

When I get invited and I.

[Andrew Santino]

But I'm saying I go to raves.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. Whatever.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, we talked about inviting you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And my wife was like, do you want to invite Bob? I said, yeah, but I don't think he would like this kind of thing because I don't know. You know, traditionally I.

[Bobby Lee]

If you're going to be anal, then now I am.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I'm going to be a mess.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. I don't want you at the house.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going. I'm going.

[Andrew Santino]

No, go to Michael, please. Now that I think about going, you.

[Bobby Lee]

Know, cranberry sauce on the. Yeah. There's another thing that I've noticed is at this comedy store, people have been like, I had a waitress come up to me, go and go, have you been working out? I go, no. Why are you laughing? I'm saying the OC and then Steph Tolov goes, oh, I see it now. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Stand up. For real. You don't. You don't just stand up. You don't do anything else but stand up. We can see it. It's an obvious difference.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you or no?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. We've said it every.

[Jess]

It used to protrude.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. What did you say? Carlos, you can't tell.

[McCone]

I can't tell. So I see him every day.

[Jess]

You can totally tell.

[McCone]

You need to take more.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my.

[Carlos Santos]

What are you doing?

[Bobby Lee]

See, that's what I'm saying. He wants me to overdose on Ozempic.

[Andrew Santino]

No, don't do this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants me to die. Oh, it's like weed.

[McCone]

You can't overdose.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yo. No, you literally can. And also, let's stop plugging Ozempic. It's. It's way govy.

[Bobby Lee]

We go, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The other one. The amount of People that commented on my Instagram about you, you let. They were let down because they thought you were on Ozempic and so they were too. Yeah, but now you're on WeGovy and now people were like, I gotta switch.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm still on. I have black market Ozempic too.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you do? Yeah. Bad boy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We go. I do both the smeglitude. But it is working. Everyone on tour has said that. There was a few ladies that said that on tour. I mean, it was just true. The truth is the truth.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so hungry.

[Andrew Santino]

But don't eat.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, just don't. Bobby wants it because he wants to be, say, with me.

[Bobby Lee]

Hollywood ripped.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you want to be ripped.

[Carlos Santos]

Jacked. I think it was jacked.

[Bobby Lee]

Ripped and jacked.

[Andrew Santino]

What did you say in the van? You'll see.

[Bobby Lee]

You'll see.

[Andrew Santino]

And that's the name of the special. You'll see be jacked. Absolute jacked and ripped. And you know what? I think you're on your way. I mean, you're definitely losing the weight. Are you late night snacking?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Look at me. Nothing. Not even like a. Not even like a Kit Katter chippy?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, last night I. I went to Shabu Shabu was my first meal of the day. Of the day. And then after the store, Andrea Jin goes, let's go have dinner. I'm like, I already ate. And she's like, just call. So I went to Sunundang, right? And they had this. I had a couple of dumplings. And then.

[Andrew Santino]

That's nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then I went to. Dude, I've been going to Wii Spa every day. It's been great. In fact, last night at we Spa, it's so interesting. I'm in the dry sauna completely naked, and I sit like this.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how you're supposed to sit, you know?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I just gotta sit like this. I lean like this, you know? And there's only a lot of black guys in there, which I love. What's up, brah? No, what's up, man?

[Andrew Santino]

You gotta show off.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I do this. I'm not afraid of my little guy, right? There's a. Two white dudes sitting there. And I was looking at them like this. I was looking at them like this, and they were like, what are you looking at, man? You guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'm looking right at you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. And they go, oh. And I go, what do you guys do? I go, we. We move. We're actors. We just moved here from. I Forgot where and you know, I got there, we talked a little bit about. It's dry. You know what I mean? And then later when I'm like, done, they come up to me and they go, you're Bobby Lee. I can't believe I go, why didn't you say that in the dry song?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Why'd you save that? Yeah. You don't think it was the penis thing? You think that?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think so. What do you think? Think.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, they might have been threatened. That's.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, but it's like, why don't. You can just say you're Bobby Lee, Right. What. What's the problem here?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because it's kind of hard to. Your. Your is right there. So they might want to save the excitement for when they don't see your.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, what if I started getting hard? That would be so funny. You're Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

You do get excited when people notice you.

[Bobby Lee]

I love you. When's the last time you went to we spa?

[Andrew Santino]

Forever.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's been so long.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you gone?

[Carlos Santos]

No, I don't.

[Andrew Santino]

I love it though. I want to go back.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to go tonight?

[Andrew Santino]

You're going every spa?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

I'm not going to that dry sauna with you.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

There's a women's department. There's a women's department?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. There's a. There's a sec. There's section.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like men and women.

[Andrew Santino]

You would go in your own section?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

What is it like? Walk me through it because I can't. I have no idea what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I ask you something?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not trying to start anything at all.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Are there. Are there trans people in the saunas?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Okay, well, there was.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a real.

[Bobby Lee]

There was. All right, so there was a controversy at wea. Do you know the controversy?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

So we sp. Isn't. See, that's. See what? See that photo right there? They give you clothes and so there's a, like a, you know, a co ed area of the spa.

[Andrew Santino]

But there's no nudity.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no nudity where there's like a clay room, a salt room. And then we're fully closed with other people.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

And you steam out there and do your thing there.

[Andrew Santino]

You can meditate. You can.

[Bobby Lee]

There's yoga and there's a women's department too. Right. Anyway, the contribution was if you go to we spot there's kids.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Running around. You know, there's like a lot of like in my section, little boys running around.

[Andrew Santino]

Not late. At night. But yes. Even late at night sometimes.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Even late at night you'll see like a Korean kick on, you know, I mean. Right. And you're trying to like, you know, maybe cool, you know, but you know, you gotta be cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Gotta be cool, man.

[Bobby Lee]

So a couple years ago, a man, a woman, a trans woman. Right. Who hasn't had the procedure.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Went to the women's department and there's little girls there.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

I think that's what happened. Right, Reid? And then. Yeah. And then there was protest because they kicked up the guy, the girl out.

[Andrew Santino]

A trans woman with presence of a nude individual with a penis. Most commonly believed as a trans woman. The women's changing area of the spa. The video went viral, attracting significant attention from gender critical feminists. Also termed trans exclusionary. Oh, TERFs. Right. And some media. Which led to protests and counter protests. Some media outlets initially questioned whether or not the alleged incident had been a hoax. They reported again, the transgender woman was charged with indecent exposure relating to the alleged incident after four women and one minor girl filed police reports in July. Suspect is awaiting trial on seven counts of exposure. And finally, judge ruled that the indecent exposure case could proceed, citing the testimony of two witnesses. And the individual in question had partial or full erection for a duration of 30 to 60 minutes during the incident. That, that, that's, that's a bummer. It's a bummer to have a boner. But that spa is phenomenal. I mean, if I could walk around there hard, I would. Yeah. Imagine taking a fucking blue chew then going to we spot.

[Bobby Lee]

But it's also a cultural thing. It's like, it's a Korean establishment. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

And they're like, you know, it's just a different culture. And it was just like, what else are they going to do?

[Andrew Santino]

You're saying they, you saying they're just in their, in their removal of the.

[Bobby Lee]

If there's. I mean, because I know that there's always little girls and little boys. I'm talking about five, six year old kids running around.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's just a part of Korean culture to bring your kids to a spa. It's like, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I would do it if I was a father. And I don't know, I just think that it's inappropriate.

[Andrew Santino]

It's hard for your kid to see someone else's penis. This kid only sees my penis. My kid sees my penis.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but they're little girls. Right? So he's in the women's department.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you remember the first time you saw your dad's penis, by the way?

[Bobby Lee]

When I saw it or sucked it? Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You should have. Did I remember the moment I see my dad's pee? I mean, what a bummer.

[Carlos Santos]

I almost grew up on a nudist colony. Did I ever tell you guys that?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

You almost did. So you didn't.

[Carlos Santos]

No, no. My dad wanted to take me to a nudist colony and my mom was like, I don't want the first penis she sees to be a. Your penis.

[Andrew Santino]

How old were you?

[Carlos Santos]

I don't even remember it. But it had to have been after they were divorced, so probably around 6 to 8.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Carlos Santos]

Different life.

[Andrew Santino]

Are there any nudist colonies in Southern California? Welcome to Southern California's premier family nudist resort and RV park. Located halfway between Los Angeles and San Diego. Go. Glen eden is nestled 154 acres with the base of the Cleveland National Forest. We're the perfect combination for resort for amenities and nature. And dude, we have to go to this. There's a nude. And look, it's a Korean woman on the photo. Glen Eden Sun Club here in Southern California. The largest member owned nudist and resort club. I am joining.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because, dude, clothes are so dumb.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but look at, look. Okay, look at that photo to the left, right?

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Those are what we're going to be saying. Yeah.

[Carlos Santos]

I don't want to grow up there.

[Bobby Lee]

Fun fact like Clint Eastwood's dust dick.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello, partner.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I mean just.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, I'm saying retire here. I don't want to. I don't think you should grow up here. I should retire. I want to retire here.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, don't you hate laundry? Imagine never doing laundry again. And every day waking up, eating naked, swimming naked, hanging out naked, not worrying about it. You love the we spa naked in the sauna. Imagine if that's every day.

[Bobby Lee]

That's true.

[Andrew Santino]

And because you got a nice little cock, who cares? Run around with it, what's the difference? And they do toys for tots.

[Bobby Lee]

That's great.

[Andrew Santino]

They do blood drives. I mean this place is fantastic.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And look at this. They're plant based. You can go vegan there if you feel like it. I'm in. Call us up. Call us. There's just some things you can't do naked.

[Bobby Lee]

When did clothes start for first start happening? Cavemen. Cavemen, probably.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I'm sure. I mean before anything, clothes are probably for fucking. Warmth and protection. And then it became about puritanical fucking ideologies of covering up parts of your body.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, shoes was probably the first thing.

[Carlos Santos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, they got the first shoe in Africa on there. On the. Between 30,000 and 120,000 years ago. Oh, just a small gap between 30,000.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

And 120,000 years ago. Early clothing was made from animal skins and fur and leaves and grass and wrapped drape tied around the body. Clothing changed with wealth. I mean, I just think, like, you know, there was a point when nudity in the summer was chill and somebody didn't like it. Some small dick weirdo was like, we should cover up. Up. That's so funny.

[Carlos Santos]

That's probably exactly how it happened.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I mean? Some small dick loser in the community was like, I don't like to see other guys penises. It's gross. And everybody's like, what are you talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

What are you talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, everyone has their penis out. Yeah, I think it's gross.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. As soon as, like, Leroy moved into the.

[Andrew Santino]

Right, right, right.

[Bobby Lee]

Leroy. As soon as Leroy.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like when Jermaine comes over for dinner. I don't. Like your wife is like, what is. What's the problem? Yeah, he's not my kind of guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Some fucking huge cockeye moved into a community. And then all these fucking insecure dudes were like, we should wear. We should wear clothing. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. That's out.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I want to move into the village where the Changs live.

[Andrew Santino]

And by the way, that's how Hacienda started. Little community where they're like, that's where the Asians are. That's where the whites are. That's where the black dudes are.

[Bobby Lee]

But do you think that if you had a time machine and you went back where cavemen were, Right. And you were wearing. Wearing modern clothes, they would freak out?

[Andrew Santino]

They probably. Well, they kill you on site.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, I'm wearing, like, a FUBU track suit.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't own that, do you?

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I would buy one.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like a full FUBU tracksuit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they might like it.

[Bobby Lee]

A fedora. Do you think they'd be like, they'd.

[Andrew Santino]

Kill you on site.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, they would.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because you'd look like a future person.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really?

[Carlos Santos]

Like a space suit like that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. If we saw me, Darnell.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You. Who else?

[Andrew Santino]

Me, Doc. Me. You, Doc. Done out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, done out. And just with full blown identical F track suits. Fuba track suits.

[Andrew Santino]

They'd be excited at first.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Cuz we'd look like we're like a group of aliens.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, they. We would.

[Andrew Santino]

And different colors too. Imagine a Korean and a redhead and black eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. No, you know what I would do?

[Andrew Santino]

And we start rapping, right? Imagine how happy they'd be to hear rap, right? Cuz they would go. They would start going along.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They would hear the rhythm.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that would be cool, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

One of the caveman starts roboting and then they kill us and eat us.

[Carlos Santos]

And wear the clothes.

[Andrew Santino]

If you. Would you ever eat human?

[Carlos Santos]

If you had or have you.

[Andrew Santino]

If you had to.

[Bobby Lee]

Like that one movie, Alive or Alive?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the soccer team.

[Bobby Lee]

The soccer team, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you do it?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know what. I presume I would because I don't know what extreme hunger is.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, what if you got into a plane accident and you crashed in the Andes mountains, but you still were taking your Ozempic to curb your appetite for humans? Like, you would just.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I would definitely do that.

[Andrew Santino]

You just double down on it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, double down on it.

[Andrew Santino]

Then you're like, well, I'm not that hungry.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

And everyone's like, how are you? How are you doing this?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Nothing. All right, anyway, thank you for being a bad friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Great.