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Bobby Lee
This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huell. Your go to for complete nutrition, try.
Andrew Santino
Huell with 15 off today using code BAD FRIENDS at my.huell.com BAD FRIENDS. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?
Bobby Lee
White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something.
Andrew Santino
We're bad friends. I'm running out of air.
Bobby Lee
I was already out. I was already out.
Carlos Santos
I didn't even mean to collapse.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Do it again, dude.
Andrew Santino
Ready?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Oh, well, this is out.
Bobby Lee
This is.
Andrew Santino
Stop.
Bobby Lee
I. I had my eyes closed.
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
Because I couldn't breathe.
Carlos Santos
Do it again.
Bobby Lee
I really liked it. I really liked it. Let's do it one more time.
Andrew Santino
Ready?
Bobby Lee
Right. But I want to keep your eyes with it. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Dude, we're like a barbershop quartet.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
That's real. That was incredible.
Andrew Santino
Also, I heard you laugh in the middle of it, too.
Bobby Lee
I know, because it sounded so beautiful to me. We. You kept the tone.
Andrew Santino
It was very good.
Bobby Lee
That was great.
Andrew Santino
Well, welcome back.
Bobby Lee
Welcome back. Harder. And let me say something. That's when you said. When you don't say welcome back again. Because the things I think. Welcome back.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Number one. I want to say we got back from Australia and I. My sleep schedule is so wickedly.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
No, yesterday I woke up at five. Today I woke up at three.
Andrew Santino
You.
Bobby Lee
I mean, Carlos looks confused and dazed. Are you dazed?
McCone
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Or confused? Both. Both. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's a great movie.
Bobby Lee
And. Yeah. It was a great movie. And I just.
Andrew Santino
Kangaroo balls there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kangaroo ball.
Andrew Santino
Petrified.
Carlos Santos
Yeah, I'm petrified. Holding them. That's real. Yeah, they're heavy.
Bobby Lee
It's pretty heavy. Yeah.
Carlos Santos
Sorry for fondling your kangaroo.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no. It's what I like. No, they're heavy because.
Bobby Lee
We'Re getting it. Yeah. We're going to be doing that quite frequently on this podcast.
Carlos Santos
Oh, and I brought this.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
For the studio.
Andrew Santino
Oh, whoa.
Bobby Lee
A boomerang.
Carlos Santos
I'll throw it to you. But, hey, can you edit this so it looks like it comes back to me?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Oh, nice.
Carlos Santos
It works.
Andrew Santino
Let me see it.
Carlos Santos
Okay. Here. For real. I'll give it to you.
Andrew Santino
All right. End over end.
Bobby Lee
Have you tried it in public?
Carlos Santos
No, I just knew it would work. It's the first time I've thrown it.
Bobby Lee
Oh.
Andrew Santino
Are you guys ready?
Bobby Lee
Is there a way to throw it that'll come back right here?
Andrew Santino
Like, really? If you throw it like that. It does then. Because it flattens out.
Bobby Lee
You know what it is, dude, you're such a. Know it all.
Andrew Santino
But I can't. He does.
Carlos Santos
He knows.
Bobby Lee
He knows everything. It drives me.
Andrew Santino
Why'd you ask me then? Why do you ask me so many questions then if you don't want to know the answer? Because you know I got the answer.
Bobby Lee
I know you got the answer.
Andrew Santino
This is going to break something.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Look at McCone is the most scared.
Bobby Lee
Don't go hard because when I go.
Andrew Santino
Like this, it's going to naturally go sideways. You know that, right?
Bobby Lee
Stop, stop.
Andrew Santino
That's it.
Bobby Lee
So what's your slice? What are you. How's your sleeping?
Carlos Santos
And saying it's terrible. I can't believe you're doing spots. I had a spot at midnight and I. The first time in my life, canceled it Saturday night.
Bobby Lee
I didn't do it one Saturday. I can't.
Andrew Santino
I told you that was a bad.
Bobby Lee
No, no, I went.
Carlos Santos
I thought you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I went. I went. I went. I went.
Carlos Santos
And you went Monday.
Bobby Lee
I went Monday. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Not tonight and tonight.
Bobby Lee
No, no, tonight.
Andrew Santino
Tomorrow.
Bobby Lee
Tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what time you've been sleeping?
Carlos Santos
I've been trying to go to bed at night, but I stay awake till like 4am and then I. I still wake up at 9am and then I am tired all day.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, it's rough. What about you?
Andrew Santino
I'm good.
Bobby Lee
I know you.
Carlos Santos
I knew you would be good.
Andrew Santino
I'm good because I did the exact pattern I told.
Bobby Lee
Oh my God. It's going to drive me crazy, that pattern. Oh my God.
Andrew Santino
Isn't that funny?
Bobby Lee
Oh my God.
Andrew Santino
The funniest part is I literally said when we fly to Sydney, he.
Bobby Lee
He does what pattern? Everyone that listening. This is what he does. This is what he does. Okay. Yeah, because he's Mr. Know It All. Okay?
Andrew Santino
That's my new name, Mr. Know It All.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Andrew Santino
But it's Mr. No. Mr. No.
Bobby Lee
No. And so Mr. Know It all, he obviously we do a group meeting.
Andrew Santino
We do.
Bobby Lee
When he has his little TED talks. Right? This is what we need to do.
Andrew Santino
They're tedxes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. So he goes. So he says, oh, from. From Perth to Australia. Right. Don't sleep at all. We were in the airport to Sydney. Sorry, from. But okay, that's another know it all thing you just said. Could have let it go. You could have let it go, but you didn't.
Andrew Santino
I'm Mr. Noah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
Andrew Santino
That's my gift.
Bobby Lee
All right. So from Perth to Sydney, don't sleep it up. Which is like a four and a half hour flight.
Andrew Santino
Four hours? Yeah.
Bobby Lee
What Did I do?
Andrew Santino
Slept the whole time.
Bobby Lee
The whole time.
Carlos Santos
I stayed awake the whole time.
Bobby Lee
Because when he says something to do, I go the opposite.
Andrew Santino
Smart.
Bobby Lee
I want to. I'm Know It All's Nemesis.
Andrew Santino
Wait a minute. Yeah, Mr. Know It All. You're Mr. No.
Bobby Lee
No @ all. That's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right. So I say, no, I slept the whole way, right?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Good for you. And then like a fucking idiot, you stayed up the entire flight home.
Carlos Santos
I did 15 hours.
Andrew Santino
Watch me, watch me. I said, stay up on the first leg, on the second leg, eat the dinner and then last as long as you can to match up with the LA clock and go to bed. Because then it'll be nighttime. Then when you wake up, it'll be noon in la, when we wake up and get to la. But it'll actually kind of be. Our sleep schedule. Will think it's like 9 or 10am, which I go, that'll work perfectly. I took. I was up during the meal. I see him. I watch across the aisle. He's on his iPad. And you can hear him. I can hear him laugh. And then I go to bed, right? I wake up from bed feeling good, take a piss. He's still up, still on his iPad. And I know he hasn't fallen asleep. Still giggling in the exact same position. Exact same position. Then I go back again. I'm stretching a little bit. I'm thinking he probably is asleep now. Wide awake.
Bobby Lee
Wide awake.
Andrew Santino
Not one hour of sleep on 15 hour flight. And now what's happening?
Bobby Lee
I can't sleep.
Andrew Santino
I know. See, I told you so.
Bobby Lee
Well, you're right. But I refuse.
Andrew Santino
Right. Good for you.
Bobby Lee
Right, Right.
Andrew Santino
You should. I would rather.
Bobby Lee
Here's another thing.
Andrew Santino
I would rather. You know what? I'd rather this for you. I like this.
Bobby Lee
I know you do. And here's another thing that I did. What? A long time ago, you and I went bowling. Yeah, right. And you try to teach me how to bowl.
Andrew Santino
That's right. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And I refuse.
Andrew Santino
That's right.
Bobby Lee
But then when we went to Sonny's birthday party. Yeah, right. Charles Melton taught me exactly what you taught me. But I listened to what he said. Do you remember?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right. And I started bowling correctly. Right. And I looked at you and I think you were a little upset by it.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, a little bit.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
So it's like, you know, I like if he teases me something, I refuse to listen. But if it's like anybody else, right. With the same knowledge. Because he has all he's Mr. Know it all right. But I don't know why that is. Why is that you think?
Andrew Santino
Because you resent the fact that I'm younger than you, but no more than you.
Carlos Santos
He's talented too. There's literally nothing you can't do.
Andrew Santino
God bless.
Carlos Santos
We talked about it the other day. I said can you name one thing you can't do? And you.
Andrew Santino
That's not true. I said he couldn't do that.
Carlos Santos
He couldn't.
Bobby Lee
He can't beat me.
Carlos Santos
That's the one.
Andrew Santino
He can't be.
Bobby Lee
He can't beat me. He can't beat me in ping pong.
Andrew Santino
How about this? I can't play piano and he's beautiful.
Bobby Lee
Piano. Ping pong.
Andrew Santino
Ping pong. I can beat you. Get a table.
Bobby Lee
Oh my God. Tennis.
Andrew Santino
A tennis. We might be more evenly matched.
Bobby Lee
I was in tennis team in high school.
Andrew Santino
I know. And that was 40 years ago.
Bobby Lee
It doesn't matter. I hadn't ridden a bike since I was in high school. We went rode a bike in fucking Australia.
Andrew Santino
There's no phrase that's. Hey, it's just like tennis. Once you learn, you never know. Not learn. There is no tennis phrase.
Bobby Lee
Yes, it. It goes to tennis.
Andrew Santino
It's just like hitting a tennis ball.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Once you know, you know.
Andrew Santino
Once you know, you know.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
We did ride a beautiful bike around Rotnes island and had a gorgeous day at Rotnes Island. Probably one of our best days.
Carlos Santos
What a roller coaster though.
Andrew Santino
Incredible, right?
Bobby Lee
Why?
Carlos Santos
Well, cuz we. I kind of hyped it up the entire trip and Bobby kept pulling to me aside and saying, listen, I know everyone says they're the cutest animals on earth, but what if we get there and they don't like us?
Andrew Santino
That's right.
Carlos Santos
And we got there and they were all just like looking for food Because.
Bobby Lee
I'll tell you why.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
May I tell you why?
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
My wisdom on this?
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Look at them right there.
Carlos Santos
Oh my God, they are cute.
Bobby Lee
They're so cute.
Andrew Santino
Rice. They're so cute.
Bobby Lee
They're so cute. So edible, by the way.
Andrew Santino
They look very edible.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. They look like porgs.
Andrew Santino
They look like. They look like little Andres. Yeah, Little Andres.
Bobby Lee
So here's the situation here, guy. My friend is. Is that. I'll tell you how the quakas came into my. I told you right?
Andrew Santino
How? Yeah. Jim. Jeff.
Bobby Lee
Jim Jeffries, right. Months ago, pulled me aside, mate, you gotta see the quokkas.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
He told me the island, everything, right? So I've been thinking and dreaming about quokkas. A long time.
Andrew Santino
I get that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And then when we got there, some bloke, some Australian bloke says to me, mate, you know why they call it Rottnest Island? I go, why? And he goes, because the first guy that went there, right. Thought they were rats. So in my mind, I'm like, oh, they're not. They're. They're not. As cuz what we see, we. I thought they were like going to be real small, like rats.
Andrew Santino
Me too. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right. But then when I saw. That's me. Yeah. When I. Yep.
Andrew Santino
Look at that. You taking a photo with one so beautifully.
Carlos Santos
Oh, the Joey's coming out.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, the little Joey's coming out of the stomach. Dude, that was like magical.
Andrew Santino
In love.
Bobby Lee
In love with that.
Carlos Santos
And that was like four hours into the trip. You got that?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that was the last second we were about to. We're about to board the boat to go home.
Bobby Lee
Well, because I don't.
Andrew Santino
Here's.
Bobby Lee
You know when people go crazy over celebrities?
Carlos Santos
Yeah. That's how I. Yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
I go less crazy. Yeah. I take a step back and I go, you know, I'm better than that. Right. So there was a lot of quokka fawning.
Andrew Santino
A lot of fawning.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Right. So I'm like, no, you know, I'm gonna be cool about this. But after like two or three hours, like, what the are you doing? It's a quack. I take a photo.
Carlos Santos
Yeah. You were like three hours in. You're like, I'm ready.
Bobby Lee
I'm ready to take a. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, but I see, this is what I appreciate about you. You waited till you felt like it was time, and guess what?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That photo is proof that if you wait, good things will come.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Andrew Santino
Because a lot of people got a lot of bad photos of them with quokkas not looking at them. You, on the other hand, have a picture perfect. Picture with.
Bobby Lee
Perfect. Because I had the little baby in the stomach one.
Andrew Santino
It was unbelievable.
Bobby Lee
It was really. What an unbelievable.
Andrew Santino
So the proof is in the pudding, kiddo. If you wait, good things will come.
Bobby Lee
You know, don't call me kiddo anymore.
Andrew Santino
All right, baby doll. I think it's kind of funny. We got. We got a lot of love down there in Australia and we want to thank.
Bobby Lee
It was probably. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry.
Andrew Santino
No, no, that's it. I just want to say. We want to thank.
Bobby Lee
It was probably. Go ahead.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, sorry. Go ahead. I just want to say that I. I want to thank. Cut me off again.
Bobby Lee
Probably.
Andrew Santino
There it is.
Bobby Lee
Oh.
Andrew Santino
I want to thank all the fans from down Under. It was one of the best experiences we've ever had. I mean, it was unfucking real.
Bobby Lee
So it was so fun.
Andrew Santino
Life changing.
Bobby Lee
Life changing.
Andrew Santino
We had people come to the show that are actor friends of ours that came and.
Bobby Lee
Oh, can we talk about that?
Andrew Santino
Sure.
Bobby Lee
You're not gonna be mad?
Andrew Santino
What do I care? It's already. You already made fun of me half of the trip about it. I got mocked incessantly, even though what did Andrew provide except for great recommendations for food and hangout spots and cool things to see? But that's okay. But make fun of me more. It's fine.
Bobby Lee
Well, then I will not. You're right.
Andrew Santino
I'd actually prefer it if you did. If you did. Go ahead, make fun of me.
Bobby Lee
Well, so you asked me to close the shows.
Andrew Santino
I asked you to close the shows because I wasn't feeling good.
Bobby Lee
Good. That's fine. And I 100 back that because you. I'll do whatever.
Andrew Santino
Usually we switch off.
Bobby Lee
Sure.
Andrew Santino
And I said, will you end up closing some of these shows, please?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, we. But I close. Except for the one, so.
Andrew Santino
Except for one what?
Bobby Lee
One of the shows.
Andrew Santino
So what?
Bobby Lee
So you didn't.
Andrew Santino
Wait a minute.
Bobby Lee
No, no, let me finish. You know, he knows what I'm talking about.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Every other show. I just wanted to close one of the shows.
Carlos Santos
Interesting.
Bobby Lee
This is so interesting what you're doing. So interesting.
Andrew Santino
What? What did I do?
Bobby Lee
I wasn't there, but I. I get the picture. You get the picture, right? So there's one show where he goes, you know what, Bob? I'm gonna. I'm gonna close this particular one. I'm like, mike, wow. I thought I was gonna close all of them. Right. And then it was the show that. It was Dakota Fanning, Sarah, Smooch, Smooth, Bridie and slip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Smooch.
Jess
These are.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Andrew Santino
Sure.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Now, what I'm saying is that. So the one show that your celebrity friends are coming, you're like, I want to close because I want to make seem.
Andrew Santino
Well, they came to see me because they're not a fan of you.
Bobby Lee
See what you're doing right now. No, no, no.
Andrew Santino
I'm just being honest.
Bobby Lee
Yay.
Andrew Santino
You like the honesty. I don't really care about Bobby. So I said, would you guys like me to go last? I'd prefer.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Less of you.
Bobby Lee
Whatever.
Andrew Santino
No, I just want to tell you, whatever the reason, if you like the truth.
Bobby Lee
Whatever. I love.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no. If you like this little truth.
Bobby Lee
I love the truth.
Andrew Santino
They all Literally said, we're not fans of Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Both comedically, personally. And I said, that's rude. That's my partner.
Bobby Lee
I love what you're doing. I love what you're doing right now.
Andrew Santino
Dude, these are their words.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't think.
Andrew Santino
I don't like it as a stand up or as a podcaster.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I don't think so.
Andrew Santino
They go, we're not. We're. That's just not our style. And I said, maybe.
Bobby Lee
What would it matter who went up first then?
Andrew Santino
No, it doesn't.
Bobby Lee
They're gonna see me anyway. They saw me anyway.
Andrew Santino
Because you hate it if I do too much time. You about it every time. So if I go second, then you're not going to complain to me, right?
Bobby Lee
It was just an observation. I don't know if it's the truth.
Andrew Santino
But I'm giving you the truth.
Bobby Lee
It could have been one show. You're like, here's a deal. It could have been one show. It's like, you know what? I just feel like closing out the second.
Andrew Santino
No, no. The truth really is, I thought, okay, if they're coming to see, I'm not going to have you get upset at me because I did too much time in the front. So I was like, let me close the show so I don't hear it from you. Because every show we've ever done, if I do too much time and there's proof in the booth, you do get mad.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so, all right, so are you.
Andrew Santino
Going to be honest and say that that's true?
Bobby Lee
That is the truth?
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Because you go, let me ask.
Andrew Santino
And then I see, I hear backstage, you going like this. He's doing too much time. He's always doing too much time.
Bobby Lee
Okay?
Andrew Santino
Because these guys, they rat you out. They rat me out. Let me say something.
Bobby Lee
Let me tell you something, right? The reason why him out. I'm sorry, all right, What I'm saying is, is that.
Andrew Santino
So your beef is not with me, pal.
Bobby Lee
I'll tell you.
Andrew Santino
It's with the rat island.
Bobby Lee
Okay? Let me say. All right, first of all, right, you rat dude.
Andrew Santino
I don't.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, you both are. You rat and number two. And number two, right?
Andrew Santino
Don't hide now, pal.
Bobby Lee
Right?
Andrew Santino
Don't hide.
Bobby Lee
Let me. I'm going to say something to you. Yeah, okay. You're one of the best comics on.
Andrew Santino
First of all. Let me.
Bobby Lee
Let me finish.
Andrew Santino
Cut it out.
Bobby Lee
Let me. He's one of the best comics on planet Earth. Okay? No, listen, right? We're playing in front of thousands and people, right? Do you know how hard it is. I'm blocking your face. Do you know how hard it is to follow this guy in any environment?
Andrew Santino
We say the same thing about you.
Bobby Lee
Okay, okay. My point is, is that, you know, I mean, I'm sorry that I, at times don't want to work that hard. Okay, I'm sorry.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
I don't want to work that hard. And number two, right back me up now. Now, you two rats. Right?
Andrew Santino
Time out. Real fast, real fast.
Bobby Lee
Truth is out there, and I love the.
Andrew Santino
No, but let me stop. The truth.
Bobby Lee
Real. Okay, good.
Andrew Santino
Two. Two. Two things. Real fast, real fast.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
One, clearly, they never said that about you. You know I'm joking. You know I'm joking.
Bobby Lee
I just ratted myself out.
Andrew Santino
No, no, I just said.
Bobby Lee
Listen, I just admitted that I do complain. And now. That was some fucking Jedi shit, dude. That was on co. Don't do that.
Carlos Santos
He knows everything.
Bobby Lee
Knows everything, dude. Mr. Know It All.
Andrew Santino
Can I finish them?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Two things.
Bobby Lee
Go ahead.
Andrew Santino
One, they never said it about you because you know that they're all in love with you. I made that up as a joke. But two, to who?
Bobby Lee
Dakota Fanning? Them?
Andrew Santino
All of them.
Bobby Lee
Of course they didn't.
Andrew Santino
I know, but. But let me level this. Let me level this, okay? To make this even more fair. That is true. I did want to go second, because I did. I did not want you to get mad at me about the time. And then to make both of these things together, these guys will also tell you, the rat fucking scumbag loser, that they'll tell you the exact same thing that I say about you when you're on stage, verbatim. I go. I don't know why he doesn't go second. He's crushing. And I don't want to go after that. Do I not say that to you? So, yes. Okay, so the same thing you say to them, I say to them about you as well. Okay, so. So we're good. We're good. Were we really mad at.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but we're not good yet.
Andrew Santino
Okay?
Carlos Santos
I love this because my parents divorced when I was six, so I never got this.
Bobby Lee
So let me. So let me. Let me just, you know, like, go to the committee. Okay, so McCone, right?
Andrew Santino
No, I had a burp.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. McConnell. Look at me. Why do you think he wanted to go second? Just in your opinion, you know, I mean, your opinion that only the second show on Melrose.
Carlos Santos
Don't look at me.
Bobby Lee
What are you doing, dude, you're about to lie. I could Just see, you did a swallow.
Jess
You wanted to look cool in front of his actor friends.
Andrew Santino
There it is.
Bobby Lee
Carlos.
McCone
I think he wanted to show what a good comedian he was in front of his friends.
Bobby Lee
Okay. And.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that's fine.
Bobby Lee
That's great.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. I told you what it was.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I didn't want to hear it from you if I went long. That's real. I did not want to hear your bullshit about you going. Because, by the way, I did 30 minutes because I wanted to do more time. I wanted to give him the best.
Bobby Lee
Version of the show.
Andrew Santino
Oh, Fancy.
Carlos Santos
What are you doing?
Andrew Santino
What are you doing? We were just. We were just sailing through this. So here's the issue.
Bobby Lee
No, no.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
Let that sink in.
Andrew Santino
I don't want it to.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, it's already.
Andrew Santino
Just clean it off.
Bobby Lee
Once you get hiv, you have it.
Andrew Santino
Not anymore, dude.
Bobby Lee
I know, but I haven't taken the cocktail yet.
Andrew Santino
Well, please do.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So I just took some of hiv, but can you see a shot of it?
Andrew Santino
He's walked into the porg, at least.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So at least he's embraced it.
Bobby Lee
You said that's the best part of the show. No, Fancy, no, no. Listen. If this is going to be about the truth and if we're putting it on the table, let's just do it. Let's not like, you know, let's be cowboys.
Andrew Santino
Okay. So I told you my truth.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I believe you.
Andrew Santino
I genuinely. I just want to do a lot of time.
Bobby Lee
So I. I just heard your truth and you know what?
Andrew Santino
Nice. Fancy. Way to go.
Bobby Lee
So anyway, wow. What a great trip.
Andrew Santino
It was incredible.
Carlos Santos
It was awesome. We saw kangaroos.
Andrew Santino
We did. We. Jess and I went for a long walk and saw some roos.
Carlos Santos
That was awesome.
Andrew Santino
It was incredible. And then in Auckland, Carlos went to a brothel, which I'm sure is.
Bobby Lee
Can you. Can you talk about it?
McCone
Yeah, of course.
Bobby Lee
We already talked about it.
McCone
Yeah, it was more independent.
Carlos Santos
Oh, mom and pop.
Andrew Santino
Less corporate. Yeah.
McCone
It was just in a hotel room and there was like a closed barrier, like when you walked into the left.
Andrew Santino
So there was someone else hooking up in there as well.
McCone
So she was like, go shower. And so I went and showered. Like, I faked it a little bit.
Carlos Santos
What do you mean you faked it?
Andrew Santino
I had already showered.
Bobby Lee
I didn't do.
Carlos Santos
So, like, you just went in there and pretended to soak.
Andrew Santino
Why wouldn't you just shower again?
Bobby Lee
Shower.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
McCone
Double soap. It just too much.
Andrew Santino
Sorry.
McCone
I didn't want to do.
Andrew Santino
So double soap. It is too much.
Carlos Santos
Like, you get Extra clean.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. What does that even mean?
McCone
I didn't want to do two soaps.
Bobby Lee
But it's not your body, it's your breath.
Carlos Santos
That's what they meant when they can't.
Andrew Santino
Wash that in the shower.
Bobby Lee
You can't what? You know, and let. Can we discuss. Can we discuss that for a second? Okay.
McCone
There was no discussion.
Bobby Lee
There's not anything that smells particularly like that.
Carlos Santos
That's why prostitutes don't kiss.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why prostitutes don't kiss. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You kiss.
Bobby Lee
It's. No, it's a level of. It's. You know what it is? Okay. When. You know. You know, when you're in a porta Potty, you know what. What it is, right? You go, that's a mixture of poo and pee. Generations of it, Right? Right. When you go, whatever, right? When you're at. Like, when you're in skid row, right? You kind of know what those sm. You. I mean, people that are bo. Dirty. You know, I mean. You know. I mean. Yeah, yeah. Et cetera, et cetera.
Andrew Santino
I get that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Right. With his is a particular kind of skank.
Andrew Santino
Pretty interesting.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Stench that you don't know quite what it is, Right?
Andrew Santino
What is it?
Bobby Lee
It's like, there's salami, right? But then there's also dirt, but then there's also, like, you know. I mean, like, you know. Vomit.
Andrew Santino
Vomit.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
McCone
But it's like, it's from vaping and.
Bobby Lee
A bunch, but it's a lot. But it's like. Also, here's another thing that you can do, which is, I think, an X Men power. You can project it from across the room.
Carlos Santos
Whoa. That is like a power. If you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I could literally walk in a room and go, oh, Carlos is here. Before even I see you.
Carlos Santos
Whoa.
Bobby Lee
I'll be real. I'll go, oh, Carlos. I don't even have to look like you're just there.
Andrew Santino
Does it leave a trail or something?
Bobby Lee
It's a projection. I don't know. It's weird. It's like a funk.
Andrew Santino
What is it? What is it?
Bobby Lee
What is it?
McCone
I think it's because I don't eat enough.
Andrew Santino
Because you don't eat enough food?
McCone
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So your stomach is eating itself? Yeah, that's bile. Bile.
McCone
Well, every morning I throw up blood and stuff.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God. What are we going? What? No, no, don't do it.
Andrew Santino
Don't do that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Why?
McCone
I'm still alive, though.
Bobby Lee
Okay. When's the last time you saw a doctor?
McCone
I'll see My dad in a couple days and I'll see what's up.
Bobby Lee
Well. Oh, so your dad is your doctor?
McCone
Oh, yeah. I just text him and they.
Carlos Santos
Do you call him Dr. Dad?
Andrew Santino
Dr. Dad on NBC. Wait a minute. Do you. Does he ever run blood work on you?
McCone
No, he just.
Bobby Lee
Like, you need blood work.
Andrew Santino
Do you ever run blood work on yourself?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
Have you ever? I've never. You've never done that?
McCone
No.
Andrew Santino
You. Honestly, dude, at your age, you have to run blood work.
McCone
I mean, I've gotten STD tests.
Andrew Santino
That's not the same thing. I'm talking about holistic. Your whole body needs to know, like, maybe you have allergies to something. You can have some stuff going on that you don't know.
McCone
That's like, what hot girl?
Andrew Santino
And I'm not even talking about your breath. He's. I'm talking about separately. You should run blood work, dude. To know what.
Bobby Lee
I'm talking about. Your breath.
Andrew Santino
That's right. That part is.
Bobby Lee
I'm talking about it.
Carlos Santos
What if he does blood work? What if he does blood work and the results to come back.
Andrew Santino
Bad breath.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Even the blood is like.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Even, like, when. Like, sometimes I'll say, get me mints.
McCone
Just trying to, like, make it easy.
Bobby Lee
But you. So you haven't asked when we're doing shows, do I ever say that?
Andrew Santino
When he says get me mints, he.
Bobby Lee
Means I go get Royal me. I'm trying not be rude. Right? It's a message.
Andrew Santino
He doesn't get it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Get me gum mints. Right? And get me, you know, I mean, toothpaste, mouthwash. It's not for me. I don't use it. It's for you.
McCone
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's that hint.
McCone
I had a lot of mints in Australia. I always had some on me.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
McCone
I just have to.
Andrew Santino
You won't believe this. I saw him put a mint in his mouth and jump back.
Carlos Santos
Kill me.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Blue Chew. I got some Blue Chew yesterday.
Andrew Santino
When you eat it, I feel it.
Bobby Lee
I gave one.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
And some people are like, how hard do you get, Guys? I'll tell you how hard Bobby sometimes takes it, calls me on the phone and then puts a speaker up to his wiener. And it's. That's what it sounds like. I say, someone at the door, he goes, no, it's my.
Bobby Lee
I get Dwayne Johnson.
Andrew Santino
You get Dwayne Johnson. Heart like the rock that is, baby.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They always say there's nothing sexier than confidence. Bluetooth is going to give you that confidence in the bedroom. Lock it up.
Bobby Lee
Does it work? Yes.
Andrew Santino
Oh yeah.
Bobby Lee
Do you think you'll need it? Yes.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring bad friends.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
How do you get this? New customers Tell them about it.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
Adam and Eve, you guys. When I'm my. When I. When I. When I play with my oral pleasure. When I play with my Ding Dong, I use equipment from Adam and Eve. And it's the best sensations on my.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
Go to adamandeve.combad and pick ANY four sex toys for just $20. Play this video of him coming on stage in Sydney. This is Bobby coming on stage in Sydney. Jesus Christ.
Carlos Santos
So great.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my crazy.
Andrew Santino
8,500 people at this show.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Wow. Man.
Jess
There was more people at that show than in the state of Nevada when it was admitted into the Union in 1860.
Carlos Santos
It was almost a great moment.
Andrew Santino
Do I get the Mr. Know It all thing now or is it good passed to this fucking guy? That's a great.
Bobby Lee
I think you've influenced them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's basically Baby Know it all. Yeah, that's Baby Know it All.
Andrew Santino
Baby Know it All. I don't even come up with shit like that. I don't know what.
Carlos Santos
Cause you know it all. But you also know timing.
Andrew Santino
Ah, that's what it is.
Carlos Santos
But he knows a lot.
Bobby Lee
Let me ask you, McCone, do you know about Keiko?
Jess
No.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Do you know about kickoff?
Andrew Santino
What's the Nevada thing? What is this saying?
Jess
I saw this in a video the other day. When Nevada was became a state in 1860, they had just over 6,000 people. And I thought that's crazy. There was more people in the audience.
Andrew Santino
Not gonna lie. That is amazing.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's insane. A state when it was formed.
Carlos Santos
Influence. Influence.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. See how no Influence each other. Yeah, yeah, good boy.
Andrew Santino
He's learning. Yeah, good boy. You're Actually.
Bobby Lee
But my kind of know it all. Carlos is you, Right? Yeah. What's up, bro?
McCone
What's up?
Bobby Lee
What's up? We don't.
Andrew Santino
Those few things. He doesn't know.
Bobby Lee
We know nothing.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
All right.
Andrew Santino
So let me ask you, though, not to stick on this joke. Do you go to see a dental hygienist, though?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
You can't just have. You don't.
McCone
No.
Andrew Santino
Will you.
Carlos Santos
I think it's. Will they.
McCone
Choose?
Bobby Lee
That's very funny. Yes. They will not. I. I will.
Andrew Santino
Huh?
McCone
I. I haven't been.
Carlos Santos
And, you know, he has his picture up at the. At this office.
Bobby Lee
He's banned.
Andrew Santino
Wanted. Wanted.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Dead.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Andrew Santino
Wait a minute. So you won't go?
McCone
I just do other things.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But wait, why won't you go see somebody?
McCone
Because I'm healthy. I'm alive.
Andrew Santino
Are you afraid of a dentist? Is that what that is?
McCone
No, I'm really not. I'm just lazy. Like how My car.
Andrew Santino
But this tripping me out was last time you went to a dentist? For real.
McCone
When I was a teenager.
Bobby Lee
Check this out.
Andrew Santino
In fucking 30 years.
McCone
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And check it out. What am I doing?
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
Who was that?
Andrew Santino
You're a dentist.
Bobby Lee
No, no. It's worse.
Andrew Santino
Why?
Bobby Lee
Every woman that makes.
Andrew Santino
Okay. All right, all right.
McCone
That wasn't Kalila.
Andrew Santino
Oh, wow. Shots fucking fire, dude.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. There we go.
Andrew Santino
The frequency of dental visits depends on your individual circumstances. However, the ADA recommends. The American Dental association recommends adults and children see the dentist every six months.
McCone
That's so dorky. No one does that.
Andrew Santino
I think that almost everyone I know does.
Bobby Lee
Really? Yeah. I go to dentist.
Andrew Santino
Everyone in this room goes to the dentist. You don't. You don't ever. I mean, at the very least, once a year is definitely what you should do.
McCone
I did tell Jesse this, but I did brush my teeth with Sprite and Adelaide.
Carlos Santos
Yeah, I forgot about that. I supplies Sprite. And he goes. I don't know what fizz is.
Andrew Santino
Bro.
Carlos Santos
He's just rubbing sugar on his teeth.
Andrew Santino
Bro.
Bobby Lee
Bro. Dude. That's the problem.
Andrew Santino
That is.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I think we found it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. We found the problem.
Andrew Santino
You're brushing your teeth with spit.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
McCone
I was too lazy to go to the bathroom.
Bobby Lee
Just do it with Pop Rocks. Those fists do. Dog. Do you smell? I mean, is there other smells in your body that you're not aware of or privy to?
McCone
I don't know. I can't smell them. I can't smell.
Bobby Lee
You can smell, but I can't smell.
McCone
Like marijuana or anything like that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. You dip you dip and smell.
Andrew Santino
You dip and smell.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
McCone
Like dip your finger in your butt and smell it.
Bobby Lee
No, not the pot.
Carlos Santos
No, no, but don't start there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, don't start there. No, but I'll like. I'll go like this and do that armpit.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Have you done that?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. I want to surf. See if I'm on track.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I think we need to get this solved. And I mean this, because now I feel like it's dangerous. Are you really throwing up in the mornings?
McCone
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Oh, buddy, come on.
Carlos Santos
That's not good.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Oh, that's not good.
Andrew Santino
Well, then stuff's going on.
McCone
It's like indigestion. It's a whole thing. And Mako knows my pillows have blood on them when I wake up.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, McCone, you're not voicing this to us ever. You're not going. Hey, guys, I think you should know this both for the sake of health and comedy.
Jess
I mean, I feel like Everybody who's like 10 years older than me, I'm like, oh, they got it somewhat figured out.
Andrew Santino
No, they don't.
Bobby Lee
They don't know.
Andrew Santino
No, they don't.
Jess
They got it.
Andrew Santino
No, there is no such thing.
Carlos Santos
I did love all the music we made together, though, with the piano and you're singing and the trumpet.
Andrew Santino
I'm gonna say it right now, dude. I said, you backstage, say it. And I don't know if you really took this to heart, but I mean, this. I said, man, it's incredible when you are freestyling on the piano and she's backing you up and just flowing with it. It's extremely impressive. Maybe I'm a fucking underexposed person to that kind of style of music, but it fucking blew my mind. Every night I would sit down when you would freestyle on the piano and you would just smooth come in. I was. I'm genuine. I'm being so genuine to you guys. It's so impressive to me. And maybe I'm don't know about music composition and composition and theory, but it was incredible. I'm not basic chords, really. Sure, yeah, maybe. But it was gorgeous.
Bobby Lee
I do also have to say that the shows versus the shows we did in America year a couple years ago were way tighter over there.
Andrew Santino
We were much tighter. Well, we had 60 cities of practice.
Bobby Lee
I mean, we found a groove. We found a definitely groove with all of it. It just. Feet seems faster.
Andrew Santino
It was smooth and smoother. And we had some incredible people fans to help out in the show. We had a woman who was Able to squirt breast milk out of her mouth, into my mouth, out of her title and spit it like milk coming out.
Bobby Lee
She squirted breast milk and it's sour. It doesn't taste like oat milk or.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
Well, what do you mean?
Andrew Santino
Yes, it does not taste like oat milk or.
Bobby Lee
Or any milk that I've ever had.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
Because it was like, sour.
Andrew Santino
It's a human milk.
Bobby Lee
Oh, human milk.
Andrew Santino
Human milk. And let's see it right here. Let's play a clip there. Oh, my God.
Bobby Lee
So much more than insane. Wow, wow, wow.
Andrew Santino
That's all breast milk now. Those babies are not going to go hungry. That is. That's a lot.
Bobby Lee
And can I say something, too? Probably one of the best breasts I've ever seen.
Andrew Santino
Gorgeous.
Bobby Lee
You saw them, right?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I snuck back.
Bobby Lee
I mean, they were a perfect breast.
Andrew Santino
And her husband approved. We asked her. Yeah, we said.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Andrew Santino
We said. She goes, my talent is that I can squirt breast milk very far. And that's us asking her husband. I'm saying, dude, do you. Was this cool? Do you approve? And he was thumbs up all day.
Bobby Lee
What show is that? The show that Dakota was at.
Jess
It was.
Andrew Santino
That was that. Yeah, that was.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that was a magical show. That's a magical show.
Andrew Santino
Then Sarah Snook, Jake Lacey.
Bobby Lee
Oh, Jake Lacey from White White Lotus.
Andrew Santino
And I'm dying up here.
Bobby Lee
I'm dying up here.
Andrew Santino
That's how we.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
But Sarah Snook, who is secession. Such an incredible actress.
Bobby Lee
I walked up to her and I, I just kind of grabbed her arms.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. I have such a crush on her, talent wise. You know what I mean? Like, I think she's so talented.
Bobby Lee
I'm like, God, I know. I love Dakota. Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
She's the.
Bobby Lee
She's so not what you think.
Andrew Santino
Well, because she's. You know what, what's funny is when you grow up in LA and you meet people that grew up in la, they're like actors that grew up here.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I guess it's more. You have a projection of an idea of who you think they are. You do, because you meet some kids that grew up here and they act and it's a thing. And, you know, even though she moved here as a young kid, she kind of grew up here.
Bobby Lee
But you see a lot of young actors because I know a lot that they play by the Hollywood rules, so they don't want to say the wrong thing or they want it. They're just very, like in the middle about things. Right.
Andrew Santino
Political.
Bobby Lee
Political.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
She seemed to be. She reminded me more of a comic.
Andrew Santino
She floats her own way.
Bobby Lee
She's like cool. Like, just accept.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
She loved the show.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
The show was wild.
Andrew Santino
It's really nice.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Feel free and not feel like. Because our show is insane. Like, you know, Sarah brought their 14 year old son and when they came backstage, I was like, do you want him to see this show?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And she was like, yeah. I mean, why not? Who cares?
Carlos Santos
And they just saw Neil Degrasse Tyson play there.
Andrew Santino
We played the same venue as Rocket Scientist. Deal.
Bobby Lee
Rocket Scientist.
Andrew Santino
I said, and we're sucking on titmilk.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Rock and roll.
Bobby Lee
Incredible.
Andrew Santino
Rock and roll. It was a great trip over.
Bobby Lee
Great. Yeah. The whole trip was good.
Andrew Santino
There's only one part of it I didn't like.
Bobby Lee
Tell me.
Andrew Santino
Tell me one part of it I didn't like.
Bobby Lee
Tell me. You know what it was, McConnell.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Did you make me mad the whole. The whole show? Did you? Did I. Was I mad at you? A little bit? I was.
Bobby Lee
What was the anger about? Forgotten.
Andrew Santino
I can tell you exactly what it is because it's a little bit of jealousy is what it was.
Bobby Lee
Okay, go ahead.
Andrew Santino
We played the clip on here of you walking out to Sydney to all those fans.
Bobby Lee
Great.
Carlos Santos
Oh, I knew it. As soon as I saw Bobby post that, I knew this was.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not mad at Bobby. I said to him, did you get us all coming out to the fucking crowd?
Bobby Lee
Wait, he didn't get you coming out?
Andrew Santino
No, no, no, no, no.
Bobby Lee
There's got to that. That doesn't make my head.
Andrew Santino
He does not.
Carlos Santos
And you were rewatching it all day on your Instagram. And I just knew that he.
Andrew Santino
I was. I wasn't upset at you. I was. I said to him, did you get everybody getting that shot?
Jess
I got all of us going out.
Andrew Santino
Is that what I asked you? I said, did you get me or Jesse going on stage to the big crowd?
Bobby Lee
I don't want to. I don't want to fight you. Andrew.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
Can I side with McCone for a second?
Andrew Santino
Interesting.
Carlos Santos
Interesting.
Andrew Santino
Interesting. Someone's trying to get under Mr. No Doll tutelage.
Bobby Lee
Huh? What?
Andrew Santino
Someone's trying to be Mr. No It all for the show.
Bobby Lee
I just. Just a little thing.
Andrew Santino
What is it?
Bobby Lee
I did go up to him before the show and I go, make sure you get me coming out.
Andrew Santino
Interesting. Okay. That. That has no bearing.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
That he would literally go, I should probably get everybody coming out.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but that doesn't mean. Yeah, you're right.
Andrew Santino
That doesn't mean 8,500 seats.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you're right. You might. Yes.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You assume if one of us said, hey, make sure you get the shot, why wouldn't your instinct go, I should get this for Jess.
Carlos Santos
You were already on stage.
Andrew Santino
Correct.
Carlos Santos
At that moment. So he couldn't go back.
Andrew Santino
It was also. No, no, no. He asked him before the show.
Carlos Santos
Oh, I thought it was like.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no, no.
Jess
I was running up to run the cameras to get the back of everyone going, because I have running second camera.
Andrew Santino
I don't. It's over to me. And that will always lay inside of me as something that you disappointed me at. And it turned me. I was extremely upset. I went to my hotel room and I said, not happy. Doesn't care. Doesn't care.
Carlos Santos
Almost a Dollywood moment that day.
Andrew Santino
Pretty close. That wasn't why I was feeling that way. But that. That. That Dollywood moment almost happened again. Yeah. I had a day that was scary. I needed.
Carlos Santos
I kept wanting to hang out with you so bad, but I knew it would be best to just sleep.
Andrew Santino
I had to go to the gym. I had to just walk away. But McCone was a big sliver. A big sliver in my hand. Ow. How do I get this out?
Bobby Lee
Right? I do have to say my relationship with McOne got better on the trip.
Andrew Santino
Mm.
Carlos Santos
Because. Because of that.
Bobby Lee
No, not because of that. I feel like he was trying to. She was trying.
Carlos Santos
Yeah. I will say he was trying.
Andrew Santino
You're welcome.
Carlos Santos
Every one of my.
Bobby Lee
Excuse me.
Andrew Santino
That's me. That's all me.
Bobby Lee
I know it is.
Andrew Santino
That's all me. Molding and shaping.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah, I know it is.
Andrew Santino
And you know who didn't try on the trip at all? Who didn't put any effort into the trip whatsoever? Carlos.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Shout out to Carlos. He worked very hard.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
You killed it, Carla.
Andrew Santino
You actually did a phenomenal job.
McCone
Thank you.
Andrew Santino
I appreciate a phenomenal job. Much better than we expected you to do. You went above and beyond fancy. You didn't do shit. You stayed back and caught up. Check.
Bobby Lee
Let's talk about the best hotels you think we stayed at.
Andrew Santino
I think the coolest one we stayed at was the W in W was good in Brisbane.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That hotel was wildly dope.
Bobby Lee
But also my second was the Ritz Carlton, the last night of.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Was it Perth?
Andrew Santino
What night?
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Oh, the Crown.
Bobby Lee
The Crown. I mean, yeah, the Crown.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
We had nobu that night.
Andrew Santino
Incredible.
Bobby Lee
Incredible.
Andrew Santino
A little Nobu dinner.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And the kid never. Kids. Kids never had Nobu, right?
Carlos Santos
Never.
Andrew Santino
You're welcome didn't say thank you once. Didn't say.
Bobby Lee
Ungrateful. Really? Huh.
Andrew Santino
Did not. Did you say thank you? Did.
Jess
We said it a few times.
Andrew Santino
When do you remember? Give me the time.
Carlos Santos
He probably has it on camera.
Andrew Santino
He's got a time stamp of it.
Jess
I'll pull it up.
Carlos Santos
That dinner was amazing. I love the lazy Susan.
Andrew Santino
Love a good lazy Susan. Love a good lazy Susan. And we had enough. We had. Overall, man, every city did what we thought they were going to do. Nobody let us down. Every city was amazing. Every venue was great. And let's be honest. Can we be honest? We thought one of the cities you. We both were like, what if this isn't that good? Because of the venue.
Carlos Santos
Oh, yeah.
McCone
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
And it turned out to be great.
Bobby Lee
Which. Oh, yeah, that one.
Andrew Santino
We were both.
Bobby Lee
Oh, I walked into that. Oh, here's another Memphis.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you did say that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. You thought it was another Memphis, Tennessee Tank. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But it wasn't.
Bobby Lee
That show was amazing.
Andrew Santino
Amazing, amazing. One of the best shows, I think.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Carlos Santos
I had a panic attack that day.
Bobby Lee
Was that Brisbane.
McCone
Adelaide.
Bobby Lee
Adelaide.
Andrew Santino
Wait, tell that story.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
On the plane. I had a panic attack and I was trying to, like, hold it together until I got to the hotel room so no one would know. And right at the end or. Well, when I got to the baggage claim, Bobby's like, go get me some donuts. So I'm, like, still trying to, like, hold my breathing together, and I'm ordering these donuts and the lady's taking forever, and shrimp's like, come on.
Bobby Lee
Sorry.
Carlos Santos
No, you didn't know. And so I get the donuts and I get on the. The thing. And right when we park, Bobby's like, what's going on with you? And I was like, I think I'm having a panic attack.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you were having a panic.
Carlos Santos
And then he starts yelling to everyone, she's having a panic attack. I was like, you're making it worse.
Andrew Santino
Well, then I went back there and I go, are you really having a panic? At that. I didn't know if he was joking. And then you were just.
Carlos Santos
I just got to my hotel and, like, tried to control my breathing. Took a shower and, like, calm down.
Andrew Santino
Felt so bad.
Carlos Santos
And then the show was, like, transformative because it was like, all. I just could focus all my thinking just on the show and form and. Yeah, that venue was great. And yeah.
Bobby Lee
Since we're being honest.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Since this is the honest show.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
When you get low, you get low.
Andrew Santino
When I get low, that's What? I said, I thought it could have been a royal. When people get low, they get low.
Bobby Lee
All right. Right. No, when you get low, we can feel it.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right. And there's always like a 12 hour period where it's like. We just know not to. But what happens to your mind there?
Andrew Santino
Well, I have clinical depression, so I go into a deep, very dark, low hole.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I disappear.
Bobby Lee
Scary.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I get really. I feel so bad for you.
Andrew Santino
Well, thank you.
Bobby Lee
No, I'm being real. I'm always like, yeah. Going this. Oh, my God. I mean, I can't imagine.
Carlos Santos
Yeah. I want to get you out of it.
Bobby Lee
We try to get you out of. But then we don't even. We don't say anything. I think. I don't think I said to you anything to you that day.
Andrew Santino
No, you didn't.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Carlos Santos
But I would walk by your green room and just.
Andrew Santino
Hey, if I'm being honest, if we want to talk real shit. Yeah. Yeah. I get fucking. I have. I have. I have depression. I get extremely dark and low. I think the worst negative thoughts. I'm sure there's fans that have exactly what I have or, you know, they do this thing. And I found my only solution is to not communicate with people because I just feel like I'll be mean or rude. And sometimes I am that. I just get snappy because I'm really low and I apologize if I am. And I find that if I can go and exercise or just break away for a second and just kind of do my own little thing, it helps me reset my bearings and then I can get back to it. And I've done it a few times with you guys, but that's just. Unfortunately. I think it's a part of my chemicals.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I think it's a part of my unfortunate DNA. I'm born with this awful. You know, I don't even know how to describe it. It's awful. It sucks. I'm not proud of it. I'm not. But it also is who I really am. So I think if I service myself and I leave people alone, I can. I can figure it out. I found the tools for me to go. Okay. And you know what helped me? Shout out to. I'll tell you this. Shout out to the guy I met in the gym. I didn't want to talk to you. I absolutely didn't want to talk to you. I was lifting weights. I had headphones in and he approached me multiple times to talk. And I was being a little mean at first. I was do. I was like what's up? I did that.
Bobby Lee
Oh, I've done that.
Andrew Santino
What? What? What? What? And then as soon as I dropped my internal guard, I thought, this guy's just a nice guy asking a question. And then I shout out to that guy. For some reason, it helped me, like, get back to where I needed to go, because I knew this was a test. I don't know what you believe in. I don't care if you believe in a God or a nod or a universal energy. This was 100% a test from the universe going, watch this. I was in the gym alone, and it was like, watch this. And it put this guy in front of me. And it was like, you can either be a grump and be bummed and ruined someone else's part of the tour, the other people you're performing, or you can take this guy as our little tool. And honestly, I felt great after that. Like, I it something in the universe gave me that guy. I believe that to be like, look at this happy go lucky, sweet guy who just wanted to talk, chat, didn't know me, had no, like. It wasn't like a fan. It was like just a guy wanting to chat about something. And I don't know. I wholeheartedly believe the universe was like, deal with this. Because you got to cut it out. And then it did. It, like, re triggered my. I got to be good for the other people on the show. It's not fair. It's not fair to your friends and performers and people who support you to bring your shit on other people.
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Andrew Santino
What is this clip that you want to play?
Bobby Lee
This is.
Jess
This is just Bobby throwing a cig.
Andrew Santino
Back at Carlos after you threw one at him first.
Jess
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Right. So you threw one, then he just retaliated. But that seems fair. Eye for an eye, smoke for a smoke.
Jess
Leaves everyone blind.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Like the good old days.
Bobby Lee
There's a resentment, you know, your behavior. There is. There is something there. There has to be something there.
Carlos Santos
I think he loves you. But the bad breath is like. Like venom. Like it's taking over.
Bobby Lee
Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah.
Carlos Santos
Like the bad breath has something to do with him.
Andrew Santino
It's morphing into its own thing.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's because it's. It's. It's like actualizing. Yeah, it's becoming.
Carlos Santos
It's because he's changing. Right?
Andrew Santino
Oh, 100. Carlos has the. The change is there. I see it.
McCone
It's the responsibility all gave me.
Andrew Santino
So we gave you too much?
McCone
No, just the right amount for me to grow.
Andrew Santino
Interesting. I will say this. We had a little talk off camera. People don't know we're working on right now. We looked up our analytics, and we, I think, are going to play a show in jolly old England. We're working on going to London for a show because our fans in the UK have said, why don't you guys come to us? The first country we went to outside the US Was, well, Canada, but we went to Australia. And I think we owe.
Bobby Lee
We owe it to our Australian London friends.
Andrew Santino
Our London. Our Londoner friends. So we're working on that right now.
Bobby Lee
So can we do this?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Make a whole vacation out of it.
Bobby Lee
No, no, I know, but the problem with the Australia trip is that there was just too much traveling. I mean, what I would want is to be in Sydney for two or three extra days. Two days. So we can travel around. I know. It's. We lose money that way.
Andrew Santino
No, that's fine. You mean London. So when we go to London.
Bobby Lee
No, we Go to London. I don't want to be like flying in and flying out. I want to. I spent two or three days. I want to go to the Emirates and look at.
Carlos Santos
I was just gonna ask. Yeah, we go there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I say something about you?
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
She saw the Champions League game today. Did you see it or the highlights?
Carlos Santos
I watched the whole thing. It started at noon. I put it on my big TV and just watched it.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Carlos Santos
Because that's the best way I can learn the players is by watching them.
Bobby Lee
And so I know. What do you mean?
Andrew Santino
Same thing.
Carlos Santos
I would love to.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
This is your.
Bobby Lee
I love it. So let me ask you something about our bond, right?
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Do you love the team or.
Carlos Santos
I love why I became an Arsenal.
Bobby Lee
Why, though?
Andrew Santino
Why do you think?
Carlos Santos
Well, it started to bond with Bobby.
Andrew Santino
What do you think it is that she likes to do?
Bobby Lee
Because of my passion.
Carlos Santos
Yeah. So that's where it started.
Bobby Lee
That's where it started.
Andrew Santino
She wants your love. So she loves what you love.
Carlos Santos
Well, let's face it. We don't. We love each other, but we don't have a lot to talk about. We went to a dinner together and they took our phones away and it was kind of hard for us.
Bobby Lee
That was a great day.
Andrew Santino
Hard for her.
Carlos Santos
It was great.
Andrew Santino
But we ran out of.
Bobby Lee
You were mad. Okay.
Andrew Santino
They took away your phone and you were at dinner without a phone.
Carlos Santos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I've never seen that in my entire. I'm not kidding. In the 20 years I've known you, I've never seen you at a meal. Not on your phone.
Carlos Santos
Yeah. And if I liked Arsenal, then it would have been different.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So here's what happened, okay. We were gonna go eat. Go. And then you go, I don't want to have lunch.
Carlos Santos
You said you guys go get lunch.
Bobby Lee
You said you guys go get lunch verbatim. But then you were mad that we had lunch without you because you went.
Andrew Santino
To a fucking five star restaurant.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
If I knew you were going to Michelin, I thought you were just going to grab a snack like we've been doing. I didn't think you were going to go to a sit down Michelin restaurant. I thought, hey, grab lunch. We'll all just grab lunch and then we'll have a nice dinner.
Bobby Lee
But it was discovery.
Carlos Santos
So, yeah, we. We look.
Bobby Lee
We looked and looked and look. And then we found this place and then.
Andrew Santino
Oh, we stumbled into a Michelin.
Carlos Santos
No, literally, we did.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Basically we walked by it.
Andrew Santino
We did.
Bobby Lee
Because there's no sign.
Carlos Santos
There was no sign it was stumbled.
Andrew Santino
Into a Michelin restaurant. Yes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So then I go, no, we Googled it.
Andrew Santino
There it is.
Carlos Santos
Yeah, We Googled, literally, he. I was looking for restaurants. He goes, no, no, no, just type in expensive restaurants.
Andrew Santino
Correct.
Carlos Santos
Then we found one.
Bobby Lee
So there was. So we walked by and then. And then. And you go, I don't think we. It's here. I think it's gone.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I go, I think, you know that fancy door?
Carlos Santos
Go down those stairs and go. Read on the side door.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And she checked it was the restaurant. Yeah. And you had to ring a door. Doorbell.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right. Then we got buzzed in.
Carlos Santos
Yep.
Bobby Lee
Walked down the stairs. It was probably one of the best meals we had.
Andrew Santino
I think this was in Sydney, right?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Do you remember the name of the place?
Carlos Santos
The Gidley, Something like that?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, the Gidley.
Andrew Santino
The Gidley.
Carlos Santos
I think that's what it was called.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah, the Giddley. I think that's. It's close to that.
Andrew Santino
Shout out to the Gidley in Sydney.
Carlos Santos
It was incredible.
Andrew Santino
It is, mate.
Carlos Santos
But they took our phones, they put them in little. They go, here's something quirky we do here. We'll take your phones, put it in.
Andrew Santino
I respect the. Out of that. That's what Chappelle does at his shows.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And we sat there and then we didn't do. We talked.
Carlos Santos
We talked about comedy and, like, the state of comedy. But, like, that only lasts so long.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but.
Carlos Santos
But yeah, we went into this store in Perth that was a sports vintage store, and there was some Arsenal.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that's how I was. Yeah.
Carlos Santos
And I saw one that I really liked. It was like my fit, but I was like, I'm such a poser if I wear this. I go, well, you teach me about Arsenal. Is that weird? And he said, are you serious?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And then so we. I educated her and she memorized a bunch of things. And now you can wear the jacket, I think.
Carlos Santos
I think. I think you can wear the jacket.
Bobby Lee
I think you can wear the jacket.
Carlos Santos
I really like them. It's. Cause it's like, I get super into certain shows, like Mr.
Bobby Lee
Rob. Wait, wait. Why are you guys laughing?
Andrew Santino
No, it's cute.
Bobby Lee
Why?
Andrew Santino
Because it's sweet.
Bobby Lee
There's something else. Look at Carlos.
Andrew Santino
I don't. I'm. Yeah, I just thought it was nice.
McCone
No, because you're so strict on people about wearing jerseys and making them afraid of being posers that she should have just been able to wear.
Carlos Santos
Well, no, I will say Bobby's been nothing but, like, I was afraid if I wanted to like this team. He would get mad because that's his thing. But he's been nothing but, like. No, like, if you like it.
Bobby Lee
Because it's something that no one ever wants to talk to about with me.
McCone
Ian Edwards.
Carlos Santos
No, no.
Bobby Lee
He's a man. You fan. You can't believe you said that. I love this. She's doing it.
Carlos Santos
But I really. And I realized I've always wanted to get into a sport, but I never could know where to start.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
And it's like certain shows like Mr. Robot and Arcane, like, I love them so much, but they end. And I just. It clicked. Like sports. I get why people like them now.
Andrew Santino
They never end.
Carlos Santos
They never end.
Andrew Santino
You get new people every year, new seasons.
Carlos Santos
So I'm really into this.
Bobby Lee
The drama.
Andrew Santino
Right. I'm on season 40 of. Of all my local sports teams.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Except I don't like the cast on any of my sports teams.
Carlos Santos
Well, you switch to Arsenal. They're great.
Andrew Santino
Well, I don't like soccer, but that's. That's the other thing is we just. We both love sports individually, but I just. I'm not a soccer guy. But I like that you like it.
Carlos Santos
I don't see how. It's like basketball and American football together.
Andrew Santino
No.
Carlos Santos
Because it moves so fast.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. But I like. I like fast paced scoring like you like basketball. Basketball's the best. It's fast paced scoring.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
But they're bouncing around the field. It's.
Bobby Lee
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that sounded.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. The reason why I like soccer is because when you do score, it's just that much more potent.
Carlos Santos
I was screaming alone in my living room.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, man. Yeah, it is.
Andrew Santino
I just like to see black guys dunk.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
I like to see.
Carlos Santos
Then. Arsenal is the one of the first teams to allow help black people on their team.
Andrew Santino
Oh, then I definitely don't like them.
Carlos Santos
Yeah. Were they really awesome?
Bobby Lee
Wow. I didn't know that. Wow.
Andrew Santino
So they were the first team to have black players.
Carlos Santos
One of them. I don't know if the first, but they got some backlash for that.
Andrew Santino
Some black lashes, a little bit of blacklash from that. So this is a photo here. This is a photo of McCone in bed with. Who is that?
Bobby Lee
That's my mom.
Andrew Santino
Now what are you doing in bed with.
Bobby Lee
Whoa. Where'd you get that?
Jess
We got this from a fan.
Andrew Santino
Fan.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Jess
And I. I didn't ever find a good time to show you guys.
Bobby Lee
Oh, I love that.
Jess
We literally got it the first day. And I would pack.
Bobby Lee
Can I have that?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Well, can we just Put it up at the studio.
Bobby Lee
Here, I want it.
Andrew Santino
Why can't we put it here?
Bobby Lee
Please let me have it. My mom.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I mean you definitely have it. You have that photo?
Carlos Santos
Yeah, I was like, where'd they.
Bobby Lee
I can up like that.
Andrew Santino
Well, can we print out a real nice one? That looks like shit.
Bobby Lee
I want that one.
Andrew Santino
Okay, we'll give you that one.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Can I see it?
Carlos Santos
Wait, let Andrew hold it. I want to see a side by side.
Andrew Santino
What do you guys think? What do you say? Is it close? Is it close?
Bobby Lee
I hate you.
Andrew Santino
I'm Bobby. Mom. I love your mom too. So much. I actually miss her. And I'm coming out to Phoenix. Can you. When you go on, line it up.
Carlos Santos
Can I plug some dates? Yeah, I'm gonna Sunnyvale and Fort Worth and Dallas all next year. Colorado Springs, Rochester, New York. I know I'm forgetting some stuff, but it's all coming together. My tour, I'll post it. And my merch will be up to jet skijohnson.com with the glasses. The glasses will always be up on rainbow optics. But my T shirts, I finally got an online store that'll mail them out. So if you can't go to a live show where I'll always have merch, you can buy it online. Finally.
Andrew Santino
Wait, is it. Is it jetkiJohnson.com? is that up your merch?
Carlos Santos
Yes, right now.
Andrew Santino
Go look at it. Let me pull it up. Also, by the way, to the Australian fans that asked us why the fuck we didn't bring merch, which I'll tell you why. We hunted for a way to bring you guys merch. Local companies, of course, is what we'd have to use because it would cost too much to ship merch in the United States. And all the local companies that we tried to work with, it just wasn't. It wasn't going to work. So that's why we just wasn't going to work out for us. For you guys. It wasn't cost effective or efficient for you guys to get good merch from us that we cared about to distribute to you. So we have great merch all the time on the website. So sorry we didn't bring anything with us, but it just wasn't going to work.
Bobby Lee
Can I ask you a question?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I got invited to a Thanksgiving with somebody. Should I go, you think?
Andrew Santino
Can you take sell Michael Bay. Michael Bay?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
Yeah. You're going to blow up that bathroom.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Imagine that. The whole table just explodes. Lights on fire.
Bobby Lee
You think I should go? I have no Plans from a personal perspective.
Andrew Santino
Do you want to come to my house?
Bobby Lee
Who's going to your house?
Andrew Santino
Nobody. My cousin and a friend or two. Yeah, maybe you come to my house.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, maybe. But. But if the Michael Bay thing is real, go there 100. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I know your priorities.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Best friend.
Bobby Lee
I just think that. No, I just think that it would be like an interesting story.
Andrew Santino
Of course, I assume.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Okay. My assumption, the reason I didn't invite you to Thanksgiving. Honestly.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
My assumptions. You would not want to do that.
Bobby Lee
Well, you know, it. Well, can I say something to you? Have I not been showing up to places?
Andrew Santino
No, you do.
Bobby Lee
I'm. Lately, I've been making. Being very mindful about going to different places.
Andrew Santino
I agree.
Bobby Lee
When I get invited and I.
Andrew Santino
But I'm saying I go to raves.
Bobby Lee
I don't. Whatever.
Andrew Santino
Like, we talked about inviting you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And my wife was like, do you want to invite Bob? I said, yeah, but I don't think he would like this kind of thing because I don't know. You know, traditionally I.
Bobby Lee
If you're going to be anal, then now I am.
Andrew Santino
I'm sure.
Bobby Lee
Well, I'm going to be a mess.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah. I don't want you at the house.
Bobby Lee
I'm going. I'm going.
Andrew Santino
No, go to Michael, please. Now that I think about going, you.
Bobby Lee
Know, cranberry sauce on the. Yeah. There's another thing that I've noticed is at this comedy store, people have been like, I had a waitress come up to me, go and go, have you been working out? I go, no. Why are you laughing? I'm saying the OC and then Steph Tolov goes, oh, I see it now. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Stand up. For real. You don't. You don't just stand up. You don't do anything else but stand up. We can see it. It's an obvious difference.
Bobby Lee
Can you or no?
Andrew Santino
Yes. We've said it every.
Jess
It used to protrude.
Andrew Santino
Wait a minute. What did you say? Carlos, you can't tell.
McCone
I can't tell. So I see him every day.
Jess
You can totally tell.
McCone
You need to take more.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my.
Carlos Santos
What are you doing?
Bobby Lee
See, that's what I'm saying. He wants me to overdose on Ozempic.
Andrew Santino
No, don't do this.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants me to die. Oh, it's like weed.
McCone
You can't overdose.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yo. No, you literally can. And also, let's stop plugging Ozempic. It's. It's way govy.
Bobby Lee
We go, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
The other one. The amount of People that commented on my Instagram about you, you let. They were let down because they thought you were on Ozempic and so they were too. Yeah, but now you're on WeGovy and now people were like, I gotta switch.
Bobby Lee
No, I'm still on. I have black market Ozempic too.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you do? Yeah. Bad boy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We go. I do both the smeglitude. But it is working. Everyone on tour has said that. There was a few ladies that said that on tour. I mean, it was just true. The truth is the truth.
Bobby Lee
I'm so hungry.
Andrew Santino
But don't eat.
Bobby Lee
I'm not.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, just don't. Bobby wants it because he wants to be, say, with me.
Bobby Lee
Hollywood ripped.
Andrew Santino
Well, you want to be ripped.
Carlos Santos
Jacked. I think it was jacked.
Bobby Lee
Ripped and jacked.
Andrew Santino
What did you say in the van? You'll see.
Bobby Lee
You'll see.
Andrew Santino
And that's the name of the special. You'll see be jacked. Absolute jacked and ripped. And you know what? I think you're on your way. I mean, you're definitely losing the weight. Are you late night snacking?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
No. Look at me. Nothing. Not even like a. Not even like a Kit Katter chippy?
Bobby Lee
Well, last night I. I went to Shabu Shabu was my first meal of the day. Of the day. And then after the store, Andrea Jin goes, let's go have dinner. I'm like, I already ate. And she's like, just call. So I went to Sunundang, right? And they had this. I had a couple of dumplings. And then.
Andrew Santino
That's nothing.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And then I went to. Dude, I've been going to Wii Spa every day. It's been great. In fact, last night at we Spa, it's so interesting. I'm in the dry sauna completely naked, and I sit like this.
Andrew Santino
That's how you're supposed to sit, you know?
Bobby Lee
I mean, I just gotta sit like this. I lean like this, you know? And there's only a lot of black guys in there, which I love. What's up, brah? No, what's up, man?
Andrew Santino
You gotta show off.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I do this. I'm not afraid of my little guy, right? There's a. Two white dudes sitting there. And I was looking at them like this. I was looking at them like this, and they were like, what are you looking at, man? You guys.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I'm looking right at you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. And they go, oh. And I go, what do you guys do? I go, we. We move. We're actors. We just moved here from. I Forgot where and you know, I got there, we talked a little bit about. It's dry. You know what I mean? And then later when I'm like, done, they come up to me and they go, you're Bobby Lee. I can't believe I go, why didn't you say that in the dry song?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Why'd you save that? Yeah. You don't think it was the penis thing? You think that?
Bobby Lee
I don't think so. What do you think? Think.
Andrew Santino
Well, they might have been threatened. That's.
Bobby Lee
I mean, but it's like, why don't. You can just say you're Bobby Lee, Right. What. What's the problem here?
Andrew Santino
Well, because it's kind of hard to. Your. Your is right there. So they might want to save the excitement for when they don't see your.
Bobby Lee
Oh, what if I started getting hard? That would be so funny. You're Bobby.
Andrew Santino
You do get excited when people notice you.
Bobby Lee
I love you. When's the last time you went to we spa?
Andrew Santino
Forever.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's been so long.
Bobby Lee
Have you gone?
Carlos Santos
No, I don't.
Andrew Santino
I love it though. I want to go back.
Bobby Lee
You want to go tonight?
Andrew Santino
You're going every spa?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
I'm not going to that dry sauna with you.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
There's a women's department. There's a women's department?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. There's a. There's a sec. There's section.
Bobby Lee
It's like men and women.
Andrew Santino
You would go in your own section?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
What is it like? Walk me through it because I can't. I have no idea what it is.
Andrew Santino
Can I ask you something?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I'm not trying to start anything at all.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Are there. Are there trans people in the saunas?
Bobby Lee
No. Okay, well, there was.
Andrew Santino
That's a real.
Bobby Lee
There was. All right, so there was a controversy at wea. Do you know the controversy?
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
So we sp. Isn't. See, that's. See what? See that photo right there? They give you clothes and so there's a, like a, you know, a co ed area of the spa.
Andrew Santino
But there's no nudity.
Bobby Lee
There's no nudity where there's like a clay room, a salt room. And then we're fully closed with other people.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
And you steam out there and do your thing there.
Andrew Santino
You can meditate. You can.
Bobby Lee
There's yoga and there's a women's department too. Right. Anyway, the contribution was if you go to we spot there's kids.
Andrew Santino
Sure.
Bobby Lee
Running around. You know, there's like a lot of like in my section, little boys running around.
Andrew Santino
Not late. At night. But yes. Even late at night sometimes.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. Even late at night you'll see like a Korean kick on, you know, I mean. Right. And you're trying to like, you know, maybe cool, you know, but you know, you gotta be cool.
Andrew Santino
Gotta be cool, man.
Bobby Lee
So a couple years ago, a man, a woman, a trans woman. Right. Who hasn't had the procedure.
Andrew Santino
Sure.
Bobby Lee
Went to the women's department and there's little girls there.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
I think that's what happened. Right, Reid? And then. Yeah. And then there was protest because they kicked up the guy, the girl out.
Andrew Santino
A trans woman with presence of a nude individual with a penis. Most commonly believed as a trans woman. The women's changing area of the spa. The video went viral, attracting significant attention from gender critical feminists. Also termed trans exclusionary. Oh, TERFs. Right. And some media. Which led to protests and counter protests. Some media outlets initially questioned whether or not the alleged incident had been a hoax. They reported again, the transgender woman was charged with indecent exposure relating to the alleged incident after four women and one minor girl filed police reports in July. Suspect is awaiting trial on seven counts of exposure. And finally, judge ruled that the indecent exposure case could proceed, citing the testimony of two witnesses. And the individual in question had partial or full erection for a duration of 30 to 60 minutes during the incident. That, that, that's, that's a bummer. It's a bummer to have a boner. But that spa is phenomenal. I mean, if I could walk around there hard, I would. Yeah. Imagine taking a fucking blue chew then going to we spot.
Bobby Lee
But it's also a cultural thing. It's like, it's a Korean establishment. Right?
Andrew Santino
That's right. Right.
Bobby Lee
What? Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
And they're like, you know, it's just a different culture. And it was just like, what else are they going to do?
Andrew Santino
You're saying they, you saying they're just in their, in their removal of the.
Bobby Lee
If there's. I mean, because I know that there's always little girls and little boys. I'm talking about five, six year old kids running around.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
And it's just a part of Korean culture to bring your kids to a spa. It's like, you know.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And I would do it if I was a father. And I don't know, I just think that it's inappropriate.
Andrew Santino
It's hard for your kid to see someone else's penis. This kid only sees my penis. My kid sees my penis.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but they're little girls. Right? So he's in the women's department.
Andrew Santino
I know.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean.
Andrew Santino
Do you remember the first time you saw your dad's penis, by the way?
Bobby Lee
When I saw it or sucked it? Okay.
Andrew Santino
You should have. Did I remember the moment I see my dad's pee? I mean, what a bummer.
Carlos Santos
I almost grew up on a nudist colony. Did I ever tell you guys that?
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
You almost did. So you didn't.
Carlos Santos
No, no. My dad wanted to take me to a nudist colony and my mom was like, I don't want the first penis she sees to be a. Your penis.
Andrew Santino
How old were you?
Carlos Santos
I don't even remember it. But it had to have been after they were divorced, so probably around 6 to 8.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Carlos Santos
Different life.
Andrew Santino
Are there any nudist colonies in Southern California? Welcome to Southern California's premier family nudist resort and RV park. Located halfway between Los Angeles and San Diego. Go. Glen eden is nestled 154 acres with the base of the Cleveland National Forest. We're the perfect combination for resort for amenities and nature. And dude, we have to go to this. There's a nude. And look, it's a Korean woman on the photo. Glen Eden Sun Club here in Southern California. The largest member owned nudist and resort club. I am joining.
Bobby Lee
Why?
Andrew Santino
Because, dude, clothes are so dumb.
Bobby Lee
I know, but look at, look. Okay, look at that photo to the left, right?
Carlos Santos
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Those are what we're going to be saying. Yeah.
Carlos Santos
I don't want to grow up there.
Bobby Lee
Fun fact like Clint Eastwood's dust dick.
Andrew Santino
Hello, partner.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I mean just.
Andrew Santino
No, no, I'm saying retire here. I don't want to. I don't think you should grow up here. I should retire. I want to retire here.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
I mean, don't you hate laundry? Imagine never doing laundry again. And every day waking up, eating naked, swimming naked, hanging out naked, not worrying about it. You love the we spa naked in the sauna. Imagine if that's every day.
Bobby Lee
That's true.
Andrew Santino
And because you got a nice little cock, who cares? Run around with it, what's the difference? And they do toys for tots.
Bobby Lee
That's great.
Andrew Santino
They do blood drives. I mean this place is fantastic.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And look at this. They're plant based. You can go vegan there if you feel like it. I'm in. Call us up. Call us. There's just some things you can't do naked.
Bobby Lee
When did clothes start for first start happening? Cavemen. Cavemen, probably.
Andrew Santino
Well, I'm sure. I mean before anything, clothes are probably for fucking. Warmth and protection. And then it became about puritanical fucking ideologies of covering up parts of your body.
Bobby Lee
Like, shoes was probably the first thing.
Carlos Santos
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Look, they got the first shoe in Africa on there. On the. Between 30,000 and 120,000 years ago. Oh, just a small gap between 30,000.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
And 120,000 years ago. Early clothing was made from animal skins and fur and leaves and grass and wrapped drape tied around the body. Clothing changed with wealth. I mean, I just think, like, you know, there was a point when nudity in the summer was chill and somebody didn't like it. Some small dick weirdo was like, we should cover up. Up. That's so funny.
Carlos Santos
That's probably exactly how it happened.
Andrew Santino
You know what I mean? Some small dick loser in the community was like, I don't like to see other guys penises. It's gross. And everybody's like, what are you talking about?
Bobby Lee
What are you talking about?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, everyone has their penis out. Yeah, I think it's gross.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. As soon as, like, Leroy moved into the.
Andrew Santino
Right, right, right.
Bobby Lee
Leroy. As soon as Leroy.
Andrew Santino
I don't like when Jermaine comes over for dinner. I don't. Like your wife is like, what is. What's the problem? Yeah, he's not my kind of guy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Some fucking huge cockeye moved into a community. And then all these fucking insecure dudes were like, we should wear. We should wear clothing. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. That's out.
Bobby Lee
You know, I want to move into the village where the Changs live.
Andrew Santino
And by the way, that's how Hacienda started. Little community where they're like, that's where the Asians are. That's where the whites are. That's where the black dudes are.
Bobby Lee
But do you think that if you had a time machine and you went back where cavemen were, Right. And you were wearing. Wearing modern clothes, they would freak out?
Andrew Santino
They probably. Well, they kill you on site.
Bobby Lee
Like, I'm wearing, like, a FUBU track suit.
Andrew Santino
You don't own that, do you?
Bobby Lee
I know, but I would buy one.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Like a full FUBU tracksuit.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, they might like it.
Bobby Lee
A fedora. Do you think they'd be like, they'd.
Andrew Santino
Kill you on site.
Bobby Lee
Oh, they would.
Andrew Santino
Well, because you'd look like a future person.
Bobby Lee
Oh, really?
Carlos Santos
Like a space suit like that?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. If we saw me, Darnell.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
You. Who else?
Andrew Santino
Me, Doc. Me. You, Doc. Done out.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, done out. And just with full blown identical F track suits. Fuba track suits.
Andrew Santino
They'd be excited at first.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Cuz we'd look like we're like a group of aliens.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Oh, they. We would.
Andrew Santino
And different colors too. Imagine a Korean and a redhead and black eyes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. No, you know what I would do?
Andrew Santino
And we start rapping, right? Imagine how happy they'd be to hear rap, right? Cuz they would go. They would start going along.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They would hear the rhythm.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that would be cool, dude.
Andrew Santino
One of the caveman starts roboting and then they kill us and eat us.
Carlos Santos
And wear the clothes.
Andrew Santino
If you. Would you ever eat human?
Carlos Santos
If you had or have you.
Andrew Santino
If you had to.
Bobby Lee
Like that one movie, Alive or Alive?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, the soccer team.
Bobby Lee
The soccer team, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Would you do it?
Bobby Lee
I don't know what. I presume I would because I don't know what extreme hunger is.
Andrew Santino
Like, what if you got into a plane accident and you crashed in the Andes mountains, but you still were taking your Ozempic to curb your appetite for humans? Like, you would just.
Bobby Lee
Oh, I would definitely do that.
Andrew Santino
You just double down on it.
Bobby Lee
Oh, double down on it.
Andrew Santino
Then you're like, well, I'm not that hungry.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Andrew Santino
And everyone's like, how are you? How are you doing this?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Nothing. All right, anyway, thank you for being a bad friend.
Andrew Santino
Great.
Podcast Summary: Bad Friends Episode "Rat Island"
Episode Information
The episode kicks off with the hosts, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, engaging in their signature humorous banter, showcasing their dynamic chemistry. They joke about being "bad friends," setting a lighthearted tone for the episode.
Andrew Santino [00:05]: "You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?"
Bobby Lee [00:22]: "We're bad friends. I'm running out of air."
Bobby and Andrew discuss their recent trip to Australia, highlighting the challenges they faced with jet lag and disrupted sleep schedules. Bobby humorously laments waking up at unconventional hours, while Carlos Santos adds to the conversation about their exhaustion.
Bobby Lee [01:31]: "I got back from Australia and my sleep schedule is so wickedly messed up."
Andrew Santino [03:15]: "I'm Mr. No."
The hosts share anecdotes about their activities in Australia, including watching a movie featuring kangaroo balls, and introduce quirky props like a boomerang, reflecting their playful interactions.
The conversation shifts to their encounter with quokkas on Rottnest Island. Bobby recounts his initial misconceptions and excitement upon meeting the friendly marsupials. They discuss the significance of their photos with the quokkas, with Andrew emphasizing the importance of patience to capture the perfect shot.
Andrew Santino [10:07]: "If you wait, good things will come."
Bobby Lee [09:35]: "My wisdom on this: They look like porgs."
The hosts express their affection for the quokkas, sharing memorable moments like capturing the perfect photo and interacting with local Australians.
Bobby and Andrew delve into their experiences performing in Australia, including interactions with celebrity friends like Dakota Fanning, Sarah Snook, and Jake Lacy. They humorously discuss the dynamics of closing out shows and handling fan expectations.
Andrew Santino [12:23]: "I know you're Mr. Know It All now."
Bobby Lee [12:57]: "What a great show."
Andrew opens up about handling his partner's presence during performances and the challenges it poses to their on-stage chemistry. They also share stories about meeting fans and the impact of their performances on their fanbase.
In a candid segment, Andrew Santino discusses his battle with clinical depression, shedding light on his mental health struggles. He explains his coping mechanisms, such as exercising and seeking support from unexpected sources like a friendly stranger at the gym.
Andrew Santino [40:27]: "I have clinical depression, so I go into a deep, very dark, low hole."
Andrew Santino [42:19]: "I have depression. I get extremely dark and low."
Bobby and Carlos respond with empathy, emphasizing the importance of mental health awareness and supporting one another through tough times. This heartfelt discussion adds depth to the episode, highlighting the genuine bond between the hosts.
The hosts reflect on their comedic journeys, discussing the differences between shows in the US and Australia. They praise the tight performances and the supportive environment they experienced abroad. Andrew compliments Carlos on his contributions, while Bobby shares humorous insights into their stage interactions and personal growth as comedians.
Andrew Santino [44:40]: "We were much tighter over there."
Bobby Lee [57:37]: "What is this saying?"
They also touch upon the process of refining their performances, the importance of timing, and the influence of each other's comedic styles. The conversation seamlessly blends humor with reflections on their professional development.
Bobby and Andrew recount their experiences visiting We Spa, a renowned spa facility in Australia. They humorously discuss cultural differences, including interactions in saunas and the unexpected presence of children in certain sections. The hosts delve into a controversial incident involving a transgender woman, addressing sensitive topics with their characteristic humor while maintaining a respectful tone.
Bobby Lee [60:03]: "There's always little girls and little boys running around."
Andrew Santino [61:00]: "People never end their shows."
They explore the complexities of cultural norms, personal boundaries, and societal expectations, using these experiences to further their comedic narrative.
Looking ahead, Bobby and Andrew announce their plans to expand their tour internationally, specifically targeting London to cater to their UK fanbase. They discuss the logistics of touring abroad and the enthusiasm of their Australian fans, expressing gratitude for the support they've received.
Andrew Santino [46:43]: "We're working on going to London for a show."
Bobby Lee [46:25]: "We owe it to our Australian London friends."
The hosts also mention the challenges of merchandising for international audiences, explaining their strategy to utilize local companies to efficiently distribute their merchandise.
The episode concludes with a series of lighthearted exchanges about personal habits, gym experiences, and humorous hypotheticals involving time travel and cultural clashes. Bobby and Andrew continue to play off each other's jokes, maintaining the episode's entertaining and engaging atmosphere.
Bobby Lee [65:39]: "If you had to, I'd definitely do that."
Andrew Santino [67:53]: "I'm joining."
The final moments feature a blend of laughter and camaraderie, reinforcing the strong friendship between the hosts despite their playful rivalries.
In this episode of Bad Friends, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino offer listeners a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions about their lives and careers. From navigating the challenges of international tours and interacting with celebrities to addressing mental health struggles, the hosts provide a multifaceted view of their friendship and professional partnership. The episode underscores the importance of patience, support, and genuine connections, all delivered with the duo's trademark wit and authenticity.
Key Takeaways:
For those who haven't listened, this episode provides an engaging mix of laughter, heartfelt moments, and insightful discussions, encapsulating the essence of Bad Friends.