Santino turns 43? w/ Funny Marco

Summary

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Bad Friends — "Santino turns 43? w/ Funny Marco"

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Guest: Funny Marco
Released: October 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

This riotous episode celebrates Andrew Santino's birthday, blending the irreverent, offbeat energy that defines Bad Friends. Regular hosts Bobby Lee and Andrew are joined by the quick-witted Funny Marco for a freewheeling conversation ranging from birthday traditions and strip club wisdom to cross-cultural dating and personal growth. Expect hilarious banter, thoughtful moments, and plenty of the signature Bad Friends chaos.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

1. Birthday Antics & Fake Ages

• Andrew's age is a running joke, with the episode titled "Santino turns 43?" star ting confusion about his real age.
  • Quote (00:43):
    Andrew: “43. I'm 42. This is wrong. And, oh, my God, look at this guy up the ra. He's got his kneecap. Kneecap. Balaclava on.”
• Bobby gives a heartfelt, absurdly theatrical speech that morphs Santino into a village smith, bishop, and even clergy.
  • Quote (05:32):
    Bobby: “You're going to be mayor of this village. And then the emperor, he sees your good deeds and your good works... And he promotes you to clergy.”
• Presents exchange includes an envelope for a spa day and tiramisu—Andrew's favorite.
  • Quote (07:22):
    Andrew: “Oh, my God, do I love tiramisu. Thank you. Very nice. This is the best tiramisu in Los Angeles, as they say.”

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2. Birthday Reflections & Life Plans

• Andrew shares his plans for the coming year: launching the Bad Friends animated show, touring again, and taking a huge summer break.
  • Quote (11:06):
    Andrew: “I’m excited to start touring again and doing new material... and take the entire summer off next year. No shows, no podcast, no nothing. I'm gone for three and a half months.”
• Bobby and Andrew fantasize about undertaking a darkness retreat and trying sensory deprivation experiences.
  • Discussion about who would last longest in a “darkness retreat” or anechoic (silent) chamber.
  • Quote (14:11):
    Andrew: “I just want to know what it’s like... to feel it. Kind of like when you try to go vegan or something.”

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3. Hot Air Balloon Adventures & Facing Fear

• Santino talks about plans for the Albuquerque Hot Air Balloon Festival, sparking a dive into the stats (and jokes) on hot air balloon crashes.
  • Quote (09:33):
    Andrew: “2025 Santa Catarina hot air balloon crash… killing eight of the 21 people. Come on. That’s not bad. Good chance. I think I’d be one of the others, don’t you think?”

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4. Funny Marco Joins—Aging, Heritage, and Dating

Age Guessing & Racial Stereotypes

• Marco guesses everyone’s age (“I’m gonna say 43”—21:57), thinks Bobby is 36 (he’s 54—23:08), and confusion about Asian actors in Hangover and MADtv.
  • Quote (23:08):
    Bobby: “That’s offensive as fuck. I look younger than Andrew.”
• Marco gets a crash course on Korean funerals and black funerals.
  • Quote (24:19):
    Bobby: “Have you been to one of those where they prop them up and they like play with them?”
    Marco: “I ain’t did that one.”

Cross-Cultural Dating & Relationship Status

• Marco discusses his kids (three, with three different women) and approach to relationships.
• Bobby reveals using dating apps, sharing his “game”—or lack thereof—with Marco, who critiques his approach.
  • Quote (53:14, on Bobby's DMs):
    Marco: “Why you don’t respond?”
    Andrew: “He gets really over it.”

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5. Strip Clubs, Food, and Atlanta Life

• Marco describes Atlanta strip club culture, befriending dancers, and never trying the food (“Fried chicken with some fries... ketchup and hot sauce” —70:10).
• Talks about Atlanta vs. Kansas City:
  Marco: “It’s so big. Like you can. Like you can get away from [trouble].”—33:50

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6. Race, Names, and Cultural Jokes

• Debates Black inventions (traffic lights, super soaker, home security), and who truly invented allergies.
  • Quote (35:06):
    Andrew: “White people invented allergies.”
  • Quote (36:20):
    Marco: “He just recently got paid for [the Super Soaker].”
• Names:
  • “Lee” means plum in Chinese—a source of laughter (“Which is the shape of my testicle”—60:24).
  • New last name creation game—Her Gazer, Shan Penis, etc.—leading to lots of laughter (64:12).
• Jokes about hiring practices at Chinese restaurants and family-owned soul food spots.

Strip Club & Dating Real Talk

• Dating strippers, asking about their families, finding “flavors,” preferring women who “love themselves.”
  • Quote (30:02):
    Marco: “Anybody that love they self. Beautiful answer.”

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7. Self-Reflection, Success, and Happiness

• Marco asks, “What do you feel like you haven’t done yet, that you want to do?”
  • Bobby: Content with his achievements, referencing movies, TV, tours.
  • Andrew: “Hope it doesn’t crash” (re: hot air balloon ride).

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8. Comedy, ADHD, and Church

• Marco talks church, giving to the basket, and motivation from Steve Harvey.
  • Quote (46:48):
    Marco: “I listen to motivation, like Steve Harvey motivation…”
• Bobby and Marco on ADHD and church services (47:21).

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9. Rapid-Fire: Childhood Confessions & Favorite Sex Words

• Diaper confessionals, bedtime accidents, and discovering “pull-ups” average ages (66:26).
• Hilarious segment on favorite sex words/phrases.
  • Quote (49:28):
    Bobby: “Dang, that hoochie is stinky.”
    Marco: “Oh.” (50:00)

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Notable Quotes & Exchanges (with Timestamps)

• Andrew on mortality:
  (73:39): Marco: “Everybody in this room is going to die eventually, but we created a moment.”
  Andrew: “I'd like to not die.”
• On futility of home security:
  (37:06): Marco: “Home security is so fucked up because you just watch it happen. But you know it’s happening. But it’s like it’s done. Like you can’t do shit.”
• On labels and racism:
  (57:18): Marco: “What is racist, you know? … If you took away color, then what?”
• On comedy influences:
  (55:20): Marco: “I love Dave Chappelle because he just been ill…”
• Cultural crossover:
  (72:29) Marco: “Do you know why I never seen a black Chinese worker? … I asked for application before, they didn’t give me.”
• Spiritual take on mortality:
  (74:00): Marco: “Spiritually, we did come. I think our energies combined…”

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Fun Segments & Running Gags

• Mario asks for and analyzes Bobby's failed DM attempts
• The ongoing Bobby/Ken Jeong confusion
• Strip club food and etiquette
• Recurring cough/allergy debate—Marco insists it’s not illness
• “Special” childhood school programs; confessions about learning differences
• Debate on whether “Lee” or “Henderson” is Black/White
• Invention origin puns (Doorknob, Super Soaker)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |:--------------:|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:43 - 07:44 | Birthday celebration, village-bishop speech, gifts | | 09:01 - 11:44 | Hot air balloon festival, fear vs. danger, morbid jokes | | 12:12 - 16:13 | Darkness retreat plans, anechoic chamber, challenging comfort zones | | 21:57 - 24:35 | Funny Marco joins, age guessing, black funerals, cultural humor | | 30:02 - 31:56 | Dating “flavors,” types, preferences | | 35:00 - 36:20 | Black inventions, Lonnie Johnson and the Super Soaker | | 46:48 - 47:32 | Steve Harvey motivation, church donations, ADHD at church | | 49:28 - 50:01 | Sex word confessions: “Back that ass up,” “Dang, that hoochie is stinky” | | 53:14 - 54:07 | Bobby’s DM “game” gets analyzed by Marco | | 55:20 - 57:19 | Comedy heroes: Dave Chappelle, Donnell Rollins “doesn’t like Bobby” running gag | | 66:02 - 68:09 | Childhood pull-ups, “special attention” at school | | 70:10 - 73:17 | Strip clubs in Atlanta, befriending dancers, cultural food and work | | 73:39 - 74:16 | Philosophical “we came inside each other’s energy” moment |

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Tone & Style

The entire episode operates in the familiar Bad Friends style: edgy but affectionate, gleefully jumping from cultural observations to deeply personal admissions. Both hosts keep the energy moving, while Funny Marco brings a cool detachment and earnest curiosity, prompting both laughter and a few unexpectedly heartfelt exchanges.

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Conclusion

A classic Bad Friends episode: rapid-fire, unpredictable, packed with laughs, absurdity, a dose of realness, and insightful exchanges. It’s a birthday celebration, but also a showcase of how comedy and cross-cultural curiosity bring people together, even if half the time you’re not sure who’s sick and who’s just telling jokes.

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Recommended Segment:
Jump to 49:28 for a perfect snapshot of the unfiltered Bad Friends humor as they reveal their “favorite sex words.”
Jump to 21:57 for Funny Marco’s entrance and the laugh-filled age/culture guessing game.

Guest highlight:
Funny Marco deftly navigates Bobby and Andrew’s world, quick on his feet, authentic, and at home in the chaos.

Transcript

[A]

I'm Scott Hanson, host of NFL Red Zone. Lowe's nose Sundays are for football. That's why we're here, to help you get your next DIY project done. Even when the clock isn't on your side.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Lowe's official partner of the NFL. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[A]

You two are disgusting.

[B]

We're bad friends. 43. I'm 42. This is wrong. And, oh, my God, look at this guy up the ra. He's got his kneecap. Kneecap. Balaclava on. Balaclava. That's pretty cool, man.

[A]

I just had to teach Carlos how to say that word. He couldn't do it.

[B]

I like that you're covering your face.

[C]

Baklava.

[A]

Balaclava.

[B]

No, balaclava. A baklava.

[A]

I love baklavas.

[B]

It's so good.

[A]

I love the Greek dessert.

[B]

And also, give it up for the return. We haven't seen him in a long time. Of Richard.

[A]

I had to coerce him to come here. I was at 7 Eckies today. I saw Richie just, you know, I don't know what he does there, but he was just kind of wandering around, and I go, you got to come back to bad friends. He's like, why? If George allows me.

[B]

George? George doesn't own you. You can do whatever you want.

[A]

Well, I.

[C]

He took his passport.

[B]

Yeah. I take my orders from seven Equis. I mean, my loyalty's to Andres, to be honest.

[A]

Your loyalty is not to us.

[B]

Well, no, it's you, but it's to Andres.

[A]

Without us. No 7 Ackes.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

It crumbles. What? Without him?

[B]

No me. Yeah, but without us.

[A]

Anybody.

[B]

Hey, man, it all comes back to us.

[A]

Okay, well, today is. What a glorious day, because our pal here, you know, the Paul Simon of the group.

[B]

No, I'm the Garfunk. No, I'm the Garfunkel. Who. Are they both still alive?

[A]

Yeah, they are.

[B]

Well, then we're. You know. What? You know. Who we are? If we were Motley Crue.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

You're Tommy.

[A]

For sure. Tommy.

[B]

And who am I?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I'm the. I'm the roadie.

[A]

You're the roadie? Dude.

[B]

Loading it in. Just loading in. That's all I do. I'm loading it in. Loading it out.

[A]

Is Nikki 6 in it? Yeah.

[B]

Nikki 6.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You're Nikki 6.

[B]

I'm Nikki 5.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You're Nikki 43, Johnny 5. Stay alive. Yeah. I rewatched Blow last night, by the way.

[A]

Yeah?

[B]

One of the best.

[A]

Never seen it.

[B]

What? Yeah, please watch.

[A]

It is cocaine driven.

[B]

Yoya.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You had the wrong dream, George.

[A]

Yeah. Who's in? Blow.

[B]

It made Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz. It made me forget how dope Penelope Cruz was. I mean, it reminded me. I'm sorry. She's unbelievable.

[A]

Anyway, I was having speech prepared.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry. Give a speech.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, sorry. Our honey baby here. What a voyage and what a journey and what an adventure that you've been.

[B]

On for 42 years.

[A]

Yeah. From the projects.

[B]

From. Yeah. From the bottom.

[A]

From the Chicago projects.

[B]

From the hood. Yeah.

[A]

To elite status. Good man. Good man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Athlete.

[B]

Athletic.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Comrade.

[B]

Comrade.

[A]

Yeah. Destroyer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And healer.

[B]

And healer. I'll do both.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

Cambodian freedom fighter.

[B]

Cff.

[A]

That's right, dude. And you know, you mean so much to me. You're one of my best friends in the whole world. And, you know, we've had our differences.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Big differences.

[B]

Big, big difference.

[A]

Big differences. But we've had our moments as well.

[B]

I think that's what makes a good friendship.

[A]

Exactly. And so why don't we give my comrade here a happy bir?

[B]

I like it. I'm really enjoying it.

[A]

A happy birthday. Right. So. Come on. Hurry. What the are you doing, man?

[B]

He's always slow.

[A]

Yeah. Anyway.

[B]

Always slow on the upswing, that kid.

[A]

He's the bind. The Binder. The creator.

[B]

Trapper Keeper. No Fill time. I like it. No, you're good at this. You can fill time.

[A]

Yeah. You float distance. You do.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

You float distance.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

And you create havoc within two means. And the two means are two buttons. The two buttons are life. Yeah, baby.

[C]

He's the Order.

[A]

You're the Order. You're the Order of all Smiths.

[C]

Oh, he's the Order.

[A]

And you're the chaos. Yeah, but you know, you'd be the headsmith in some village, I'll tell you that right now.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Where do you get the best axes, Andrew? You know, where do you get, you know, I mean, the clogs for the horses. I don't know what you call them.

[B]

No, clogs. Yeah, they were clogged stirrups.

[A]

Dude. You go to Andrew, right? I'm the. I churn butter in that village. But I come to you for the arrows. I Don't know. What else do they do there? You're doing good, you know? And you're a locksmith as well?

[B]

I really. I fix everything.

[A]

You can break into houses as well.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Dude, you make the best locks picks in the village.

[B]

The best locks picks in the whole village.

[A]

Yeah. And the wizard. The wizard that lives there of Oz. Your best friend.

[B]

I'm friends with the wizard, yeah.

[A]

You're friends with the wizard.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You're friends with the. The ladies that sing the songs in the church. The Sirens. Sirens. Yeah. That's you.

[B]

So I'm important to the village?

[A]

You're important to it all.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And guess what.

[B]

Guess what.

[A]

You're going to be mayor of this village. And then the emperor, he sees your good deeds and your good works.

[B]

Thank you, sir.

[A]

And he promotes you to clergy.

[B]

I'm now part.

[A]

I'm here part of the clergy.

[B]

I feel like that's down clergyman.

[A]

But you'll move up.

[B]

I move it up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I elected the bishop is very.

[A]

Happy birthday. Thank God to you. Happy birthday, dear Andrew.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Happy birthday to you. So much more.

[B]

Yes. Success. What is this? Oh, it's my favorite.

[A]

Let's get the gifts out.

[B]

It's my favorite thing.

[A]

Gift out.

[B]

Oh, my God, do I love tiramisu.

[A]

Thank you. Very nice.

[B]

This is the best tiramisu in Los Angeles, as they say. Is that true? Fancy. Yep.

[A]

Bishop Santino.

[B]

Yes, my son?

[A]

You were once a smith.

[B]

I was once a smith.

[A]

Defeated the wizard in the old battle of ages. You created axes and swords and horse clogs, you mean. Best smith in the business.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And you, you were clergy. You moved yourself up to bishop.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And we would like to say happy birthday to you. My. My bishop. Bishop Santino.

[B]

Thank you. Wow. An envelope.

[A]

An envelope.

[B]

Inside is a card with a little golf club.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

This is from Tacomo Spa. Wow. Happy birthday. From your pals of bad friends. Bobby, Carlos, Fancy McConnel, and sometimes Rudy. And this is to the spa. This is incredible.

[A]

It's incredible.

[B]

Thank you so very much, you guys. I would little spa. And this says McCone. Much love, Carlos. Love you. Happy birthday. From Richie. Feliz coplanos. Jefe. El Jefe? Am I el jefe?

[A]

Did Richie sign it?

[B]

And this is beautiful. Richie didn't. And I gotta tell you, Happy he didn't. I don't want his signature.

[A]

Happy birthday, pal.

[B]

Thank you. I love you. And I have to say this is all I want. Just a little massage, a little spa time for the kids.

[A]

I have some things coming.

[B]

I know you do. You're. You're the best. The best gift giver.

[A]

Yeah. I'm the best gift giver. So, anyway.

[B]

Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah, hurrah, hurrah, hurrah.

[A]

Happy birthday. Hurrah.

[B]

My favorite thing about our birthdays going back to back like this.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Is that the whole episode is about your birthday. And mine is less than two minutes. Mine is literally. No, no. Hurrah, hurrah. They're boring.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

He's bored already.

[A]

Bravo.

[B]

Mmm.

[A]

Good church. Okay, I'm gonna. You know, Markown think this one.

[B]

Let me reflect on birthdays real fast.

[A]

Yeah. We don't give a.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. It is a very good tourism.

[B]

Phenomenal.

[A]

It's phenomenal.

[B]

What's the name of the place? Javanis.

[A]

Giovanni. Very nice.

[B]

A good birthday. It will be. You know what? You want to know what I'm doing for my birthday?

[A]

I'd like to know. Bishop, please.

[B]

I'm going to, of all places, Albuquerque to go see the Hot Air Balloon Festival and go on. A hot air balloon. Have you ever seen this?

[A]

No, but be careful.

[B]

Yeah. It's one of the. It's one of the most beautiful events I think I've ever done.

[C]

Buckle.

[B]

Look at how pretty that is.

[A]

What'd you say?

[B]

What'd you say?

[A]

Would you say.

[C]

Don unbuckle.

[B]

Don't. I'm back.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But it's beautiful. It's right. It's early in the morning. You go at dawn and you see all the balloons arrive.

[A]

Have you really done this before?

[B]

I'm about to go do this.

[A]

You've never done it before?

[B]

No. I'm going to go do this. But it looks incredible. Hundreds of balloons in the sky.

[A]

Yeah. You're not scared at all?

[B]

Why would I be?

[A]

Do you have a high quality balloon?

[B]

We got a mid level.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

A mid level balloon. Yeah, it was on discount.

[A]

Now how does that work?

[B]

Let's bring up some accidents.

[A]

That's you.

[B]

That's me.

[A]

Yeah. Now if that happens. What. What would you do?

[B]

2025 Santa Catarina hot air balloon crash. June 21, hot air balloon caught fire. Crashed. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, look in. Look inward. Killing eight of the 21 people. Come on. That's not bad. Good chance. I think I'd be one of the others, don't you think?

[A]

5. Non fatal. I don't know.

[B]

Non fatal. So they. Okay, so. Honestly? Yeah, a couple people got dinged. 2013 Luxor Hot Air balloon crash. All right, so that's been a long time, so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what? In 2013. That's a long time to 20. 25. They were due.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they got it out of the way this year. Yeah.

[C]

What's the old.

[A]

Old school one from the black and white? What was that called again? Yeah. The Hindenburg.

[B]

Hate to tell you, that was not a hot air balloon.

[A]

Yeah. How many people died on the Hindenburg?

[B]

Hindenburg.

[A]

Hindenb.

[B]

The Hindenburg was down in. In May 6, 1937, Manchester.

[A]

36 deaths. Let me guess.

[B]

All white. All white.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

All white.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, you know what that thing was filled with, right?

[A]

What? Black sadness.

[B]

Black sadness. What is it? What is that?

[A]

Can I just. Precaution.

[B]

I'm ready to go.

[A]

No precaution.

[B]

I'm 42. This says 43. I'm ready to go.

[A]

Yeah. Is it?

[B]

Couldn't even get that right. McCone. You stayed at my house.

[A]

It wasn't McCone who was. Was me. Yeah.

[B]

You think I'm 43.

[A]

I. I heard you say 42. Exactly. That's. You did say the other day, I.

[B]

Am 42 because it's my birthday.

[A]

I see.

[B]

Yeah. 41. Pretty good.

[A]

Wow. What. Incredible.

[B]

You know what I'm looking forward to?

[A]

What? 43.

[B]

43.

[A]

Yeah. You're looking forward to 43? Yeah. Now, in this, may I ask, upcoming year, what do you expect here? 42.

[B]

What do I expect that in my 43s?

[A]

Yeah. What are some goals?

[B]

The Bad Friends animated show. To get lifted off the ground so we can finally start making that masterpiece.

[A]

Yeah. Bad.

[B]

Bad Friends animated.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm excited to start touring again and doing new material. Scared out of my mind. I'm excited for the Bobby Lee Stand up special taping. Very excited for that. And I'm more. I'm even more excited to take the entire summer off next year. No shows, no podcast, no nothing. I'm gone for three and a half months.

[A]

Where you go? Where are you going?

[B]

I'm turning off my phone and I'm disappearing.

[A]

Okay. That might interfere with work.

[B]

Doesn't matter to me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

This is all work.

[A]

Well, we'll have to backlog.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Well, then, are we done?

[B]

You got to get a new host. A co host. Okay, now you're excited.

[A]

Taylor Williamson. I don't know who else. He's the only one available. Taylor Williamson.

[B]

He is great.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I too, want to have a. I want to do a. What do you call it when you. When you go dark in a cave?

[B]

A little sadness retreat.

[A]

No. No, no. A Darkness Retreat. Yeah. Have you seen those?

[B]

I want to do that. I want to. I would love to try the one. You and I, we should go together. Try to do the one where you don't speak for five days.

[A]

Yeah, that'd be. I'd love that.

[B]

Impossible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't talk for five. Neil Brennan did it. I think you. You voluntarily go to this thing and you don't talk.

[A]

And all of LA was relieved.

[B]

You go there for five.

[A]

Love you, Neil.

[B]

We love you, Neil.

[A]

We love you, Neil.

[B]

Darkness Retreats near Los Angeles within the ultimate darkness.

[A]

Yeah. Look what they look like. Is there images?

[B]

Well, there's one in Malibu, but you know, you would come home at night, you know that you wouldn't last.

[A]

Yeah, you don't think so?

[B]

You and I would never last.

[A]

You know what? I would do A Darkness Retreat. If there was a competition.

[B]

Yes. Well, we could make it a competition.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they.

[A]

Who. Who taps out first?

[B]

They don't have sukumen ramen out there. Yeah, I'm sure you're eating tofu bowls and stuff.

[A]

And I just think that it would be. I just want to know what it's like.

[B]

Just to feel it.

[A]

Yeah, to feel it.

[B]

Kind of like when you try to go vegan or something.

[A]

Oh, there's another thing. Have we talked about this? There's another thing that I want to do, which is go to that room with no sound.

[B]

Oh, God. The hyperbaric chamber. Is that what it's called?

[A]

There's a room with no sound and people can only last an hour or they go crazy. That one right there, what's it called?

[B]

How do you say that? Anychoic chamber.

[A]

Yeah, and a lot of YouTubers and viral people get to go. I want to make a proposition. Is there any way bad friends can go visit this room? Because I'm just so curious.

[C]

That'll be a great episode.

[B]

But you can only go for a short amount of time because people go crazy. Don't.

[A]

Yeah, within 15, 20 minutes people start like, start seeing things and they start hearing their veins. That's cool. Yeah.

[B]

So I sat in something. Not this level, but I sat in something like this. In Hobart they had a museum and in the museum they had something as close as they could, but you can hear your own heartbeat. It is very weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I did not like it at all. Yeah, like your brain. And this one isn't even like this. This. This was like a low down version of this. But that thing scares me. See, even the look of it's scary.

[A]

Honestly, Carlos, be real. Try to make this happen.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm really scared of it. I'm not gonna lie.

[A]

I know you. If you do 15 minutes, you do 15 minutes. I'm not gonna laugh at you.

[B]

15.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm doing two.

[A]

Yeah. I think I can do an hour.

[B]

No chance.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

What's the longest someone's been in one of these? How do you even.

[A]

It's an hour and a half, I think. An hour and a half.

[B]

Everybody take a guess on how you say that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anychoic anechoic chamber. Anechoic chamber.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Anechoic.

[B]

Anechoic chamber. How long has someone been in there? What's the longest anyone's been in there? The longest a person stayed in there is Raymond Red, Microsoft's Redmond campus. 55 minutes.

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[B]

45 minutes in another lab. YouTube's Calyx. 1 hour and 26 minutes in a London chamber.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

These durations are challenged by the disorienting effects of the profound silence. Sensory deprivation, hallucinations, increased awareness of internal body sounds like heartbeats and breathing. See? What if you had a heart attack in there? Could you hear your heart?

[A]

Well, there's video camera.

[B]

Look at this. Man who broke the record for time spent in the world's quietest room.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Reported experiencing several hallucinations. Yeah. See, I just. 32 year old is allowed to speak. He spoke for one minute every five minutes to keep sound levels below 25 decibels. So he would just talk to himself?

[A]

No, no, no. I saw the video because it's on video. So you can. Every minute, every five minutes he would talk for a minute and he would, he would tell people what was going on.

[B]

It looks like a horror film. Look at that.

[A]

I. I know. We got to do it. We got to try.

[C]

The point of this?

[B]

Well, you, you, they say you, you like clear your brain, you reconnect, but.

[A]

You also like hallucinate and stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He said it sounds like someone's dragging a trolley across my ear. It feels like seconds are going slower while I talk.

[A]

And the trolley in your ears, you, you can hear your blood vessels in your ear. Yeah. We got to try it, dude.

[B]

It's the, the hardest five minutes he's ever done. He said he felt like he was going crazy.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I'm so curious.

[B]

See, but if you have any, if you have any, if you're prone to panic attacks or, or claustrophobia, this is going to kill you.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, I have panic attacks sometimes.

[A]

All right, well then I'll do it.

[B]

Okay, I'll watch it. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You'll watch, though.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I'm gonna cuck you.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna cuck this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is creepy to think about.

[A]

We're gonna try it.

[B]

I'm down to do it. We gotta go to London. Is there one in Los Angeles?

[A]

I think there's one in Minnesota.

[B]

Anasoic chamber. Oh. The UCLA Physics Department has one research purposes requiring a professor's sponsorship for access. UC Irvine also has one we could try.

[A]

Let's give it a go.

[B]

Are you prepped and ready for your. For your special taping?

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

You're coming up on it, babe.

[A]

I know. That's why I booked a bunch of shows. So I'm gonna just try to bang it out. You know, at this point, it's like I have what I have. I can't change what I'm What I'm not.

[B]

You can keep manipulating it and piecing it.

[A]

We are trying, but it's like I have what I have, you know? I mean, I'm just gonna do what I'm gonna do. And if they said don't ever do another one, then I'm not gonna do one.

[B]

Then don't do another one.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I think it's gonna be fine.

[B]

I think it's gonna be wonderful.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I like some of my jokes and I'm a performer. It'll be fine. What's so funny? I mean, when you see me perform, I don't bomb. Never? No, I never bomb. Right. I do well, right? Yeah. Okay, good. You think it's gonna go well? Who? In the room in the back.

[C]

I'm not allowed there, so I have no opinion.

[A]

Yeah, you're coming.

[C]

You told me.

[A]

I was. I was kidding. Of course I want you. I need you to be there. What do you think?

[C]

I think it's going to go great.

[A]

Okay. What about Andres?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Okay. Carlos, be real. I think any hint of it not going well, you'll just hop on a joke that works. So it can't not go well.

[B]

It can't not go well.

[A]

How much time do you have? I have 40.

[B]

40 is all you need.

[A]

What are you going for? Well, I have a musical number and some other things. Yes, it'll fill the time, but I'm also working on another 10, so let's see what happens.

[B]

Musical number. I like that.

[A]

Yeah. I'm gonna play the piano and sing I know what? Live at the Yellow Onion. Anyway, let's bring in our guest.

[B]

We should. Ladies and gentlemen, it's funny Marco.

[A]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Make sure to act fast because this type of offer doesn't last forever. If you watch this episode later, too bad you missed it. But if you will still be able to get this discount, but it won't.

[B]

Be 40%, make sure to use the code bad friends or click on the link in the description to get the special promo.

[A]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together.

[B]

Use polls to settle dinner plans, send.

[A]

Event invites and pin messages so no.

[B]

One forgets mom 60th and never miss.

[A]

A meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] say what?

[C]

I was just. No, we in it.

[B]

We're here.

[C]

Like, we in it.

[A]

We don't have to be in it. Yeah.

[C]

Hold on. Did they already pass St. Patrick's Day?

[B]

Yeah, it's my birthday. This is my birthday episode. So they're selling because I'm Irish. This is my. Oh, I'm turning. How old do you think I am? And what, like in year human years? How old are you just looking at me?

[C]

Well, I just learned that Theo von is 56.

[B]

No, no, no, he's 45.

[A]

He's 45.

[B]

I didn't know that, but Bert Kreischer told me that you thought he was 29.

[C]

Yeah, I thought he was young.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So.

[B]

So how old am I?

[C]

I'm gonna say 43.

[A]

Okay, very good. What about me, Marco? What about me, Marco?

[C]

Do you have an age?

[A]

Yeah, Asians, we do age.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't. I didn't know. Like, you just always look good.

[A]

Yeah. Let me ask you this. What kind of Asian am I? This is a fun game.

[C]

A beautiful one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Listen, Marco. Can I call you Marco?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm not one of those Asians that get offended.

[B]

Yeah, you can say throw it out there. What?

[C]

No, no, it's like, what's my.

[A]

What kind of Asian?

[C]

I say, like, the one off of Hangover.

[A]

Yeah, the one off of Hangover.

[B]

He's writing stuff down.

[A]

Yeah, I'm writing stuff up today, so don't forget. Okay. Hangover. And also, how old am I, Marco?

[C]

Oh, you don't age.

[A]

I know. I don't like.

[C]

If you put up a baby picture, you probably still look the same.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Put it up.

[A]

Put a gas up.

[B]

Ah, there's Bobby's. A baby.

[C]

He looks the same.

[B]

And his dad right there. His dad in that photo is 94.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So no guess I'm gonna say 36.

[A]

Wow. Thank you.

[B]

Oh, that's offensive as.

[A]

That's offensive as fuck. I look younger than Andrew.

[B]

God, that hurts.

[A]

That hurts. I'm 54 years old.

[C]

Are you serious?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

How you feel like. What do your dad look like?

[B]

He's dead.

[A]

He's dead.

[C]

Oh, he is.

[A]

Yeah, he died. He looks like that.

[C]

How? I never. Okay, so what is. What is your culture again?

[A]

Korean.

[C]

Korean.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How. How?

[B]

Say it back. It's only.

[A]

Nah.

[C]

Okay. How are the funerals? Can you break it down? I've never been to one before.

[A]

Ikamoya.

[B]

Oh, he's asking you, how are you today?

[C]

I'm doing good.

[B]

Oh, yeah?

[C]

Yeah. I got subtitles.

[B]

Yeah. For the audience. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Well, he asked about how your funerals are. We love black funerals. We've talked about on this show. They're probably the best thing in the world.

[C]

Yeah, they are.

[B]

Have you been to one of those where they prop them up and they like play with them?

[C]

I ain't did that one.

[B]

That's the craziest I've ever seen in my life.

[A]

Well, Asian. Asian funerals, we're quiet people. Right. So we go.

[B]

Everybody does that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Nobody cries.

[A]

That's me crying.

[B]

Have smaller tear ducts.

[A]

Yeah. Smaller eyes.

[C]

Have you been away with him to an agreement?

[B]

No. You know, he. He invited me to one, but I couldn't go. But I do want to go because it does look like a party. This looks like.

[A]

Because he lost his gi.

[B]

I lost my gi and he lost his gi. That's an African funeral with their encased in there. And that's a celebration.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She was a mermaid while she was alive.

[A]

Funny, Marco. You think there are black mermaids?

[C]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't know.

[B]

What?

[C]

I feel like a mermaid would just be a no race. Just nothing.

[A]

Oh, it's a nothing race.

[B]

I'll say that to her. That's the new mermaid.

[A]

So.

[B]

Yeah, she would disagree. Yeah.

[C]

I just feel like it would be like see through.

[A]

Oh, like jellyfish.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, translucent. I see.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But would you hook up with a mermaid? You Think.

[B]

No, no, no. What mermaids do have, they have. They have hole.

[A]

They have hole.

[B]

Mermaid have hole.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They are real.

[B]

They are real. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[A]

They've only caught three. One alive. Yeah. That's the hole right there.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's like a little diamond.

[C]

You can fit in there.

[B]

Yeah. I'm glad you're here.

[C]

Where you like. Oh, wow. Yeah. No, okay.

[A]

No, I was contemplating that and I. Yeah, you're right. I could fit in there. Yeah, I could. Do you know why I have a small penis?

[B]

Aw.

[C]

I wouldn't call like.

[A]

No, my penis is fine.

[C]

Yeah, it's good. It's getting you somewhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Everybody likes something, you know, so I feel like it could be big to somebody, you know.

[A]

Yeah. For a little dwarf.

[C]

If that's what you like.

[B]

That's what you like.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Are you in a relationship?

[C]

No. Well, I'm just hanging out.

[A]

What does that mean?

[C]

I mean, I feel like relationships are just like, you know, relationships. I feel like they just they there, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I feel like married.

[A]

You're playing the field.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like. Yeah, until you get married, it's like, you know.

[B]

Yeah. Hanging out until you're married, you're just. You're doing your thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm married. He's not. He's single. He's ready.

[A]

You want to go out on the town?

[C]

What's taking you so long?

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

Well, you're 54. He knows. And so he's asking.

[A]

Yeah, you know, I've been in long term relationships, they haven't worked out and then now I'm back on the prowl. Yeah, you can do that.

[C]

So where do you meet your girls at? Or.

[A]

Oh, really? At the dojo? Is that what you're saying? I don't know what the fuck you're saying.

[C]

Ever ask these?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.

[C]

Yeah, like on the app.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Can I. Can we see how you DM girls?

[A]

Well, let me call the emperor and see if the geishas are available. What the fuck are you talking about, man?

[C]

Which part?

[B]

He wants to see your game.

[A]

Show him.

[B]

He wants to know if you have.

[A]

I'm on a dating app called Raya.

[C]

Can you show us like, how you got a girl, how it goes? A thread that you comfortable with?

[B]

Yeah, show a thread.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

The thread to read us what they.

[C]

Talk to a girl, like, and get her number.

[B]

How do you get. Are you. You're not on the apps on Instagram.

[C]

Usually make sure that they're single by watching their stories.

[B]

That help?

[A]

Yeah, I got one.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Can he explain how he gets girls?

[C]

He didn't. We got to take this right now, before you go. What is it?

[A]

No, no, I can do it later.

[C]

Okay. And then always watch their story and start a conversation, never going like you want to talk to them.

[B]

What's your first line? What's your.

[C]

It depends on what they post on the story. That.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[C]

I'm.

[A]

I've got. I'm in Ibiza.

[C]

No.

[A]

What? No.

[B]

Ibiza with the girls.

[A]

You know, I'm playing dodgeball with a Samoan. I'm playing dodgeball with Samoan, right. He's Yank back. Right. And I'm going to like, don't hit me. Right, right. So what's that opening line?

[C]

He's not interested.

[A]

She's a hottie. She's a hottie, but she's playing dodge. She's been playing dodgeball with Samoans.

[C]

How old is she?

[B]

She's a 10, but she's playing dodgeball.

[A]

She's 27 years old, dog.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Big titties, Brazilian ass, everything. Yeah, Right. So she's like, born a woman, right? What?

[C]

She born a woman.

[B]

Who cares? You'll have to find out.

[A]

Doesn't matter.

[B]

You're gonna have to find out.

[A]

She has the right parts now.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

She got the op.

[C]

I'll probably pass it to you if you like.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She.

[A]

She's. She's born a woman. She is a woman. She identifies as a woman. She's just playing dodgeball with Samoans.

[C]

Yeah. I just don't get. I wouldn't be in that room.

[B]

Right.

[A]

What you do is an Instagram post. Oh, yeah.

[C]

And then they post that.

[A]

They posted that.

[C]

How did the game go?

[B]

How the game. That's good.

[C]

Yeah. Finally, when you said it like it was live, you didn't say it was a picture.

[B]

All right, so I was just give it.

[A]

Give him a scenario.

[B]

I'll respond. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it. I think it's smart. How did the game go? Yeah. And. And the girl responds, we lost. Can you help me? I'm down. What do you say?

[C]

Down.

[B]

There's a lot of double entendres happening. We lost. Can you help me? I'm down.

[A]

Yeah, I'm down.

[B]

What is she really?

[A]

What's the next thing you say?

[C]

Oh, no. Then I was like, when? The next time y' all playing it, And I love to come play with you guys.

[A]

No, I play with Samoans.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You hear what you're saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Come Play with you guys?

[C]

Yeah, I actually Come play. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Actually used to date a Simone. I let her know I very understand them and they're.

[A]

You understand their technique?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Based on the. Because you dated one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know Samoan dodgeball technique.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Based on the dates.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That you've been on.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Family oriented so you gotta like watch out like you can't get too rough, you know because they together it's a family.

[B]

They really.

[A]

The Samoans genitals smell different.

[C]

I didn't get that far.

[B]

Right.

[C]

My first girlfriend and I didn't take her virginity and she thought something was wrong with me but I just wasn't ready.

[B]

Good for you. What's your favorite flavor then of girl?

[C]

I feel like anybody that love they self Beautiful answer.

[A]

We're talking about flavors.

[C]

Is this. It varies.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I got like. Can I throw out some flavors? I didn't date all type Chiantay.

[B]

Yeah, Chianti.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Like that flavor.

[C]

Who's Chianti?

[A]

It's a flavor anyway.

[C]

Sound like a black girl.

[B]

Okay, it does. Yeah, that does.

[A]

How about hazelnut?

[B]

That's a white girl.

[C]

That's a guy.

[B]

That's a guy.

[A]

That's a guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because of the nut.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

How about chartreuse shark shoes?

[C]

Sound like another guy.

[B]

Sounds like a guy. Yeah.

[A]

Let's give him rocky road.

[C]

Another guy.

[A]

Okay. Give it a. Oh, rose.

[C]

Rose.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That sound like an older woman.

[A]

Okay. Lavender.

[C]

Yes, that I like that lavender. V. Older woman that you can.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

She you know, lavender for you and put you to bed and cook for you.

[B]

Put you to bed. What about Rosemary? How is she?

[C]

Rosemary older lady too.

[B]

Yeah, she's much older.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would you date an older woman?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What are we talking as a ceiling?

[C]

If they got like some, you know, something that they going to leave behind? I definitely stay.

[A]

Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Bring her up please.

[B]

Bring her up.

[A]

Yeah. Would you date Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

[B]

Cuz she did hear you were coming on the show and was interested in talking to.

[C]

I don't think she like me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And when you say you or anybody like you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. There she is with her three children, right?

[C]

Yeah. She wouldn't like me.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, that's that she has no black kids.

[B]

Okay, well let's give her one.

[C]

No, I, I just think she already got what she like, you know she got what she's like and you gotta respect it.

[B]

Do you have any kids?

[C]

Yeah, I got kids.

[B]

How many kids?

[C]

I got three kids.

[B]

Three?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Boy. Boy Girl.

[C]

I got two girls, one boy.

[B]

Other way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Beautiful. How old is the oldest one?

[C]

12. She's mixed. So her mom is white and black. And then I got me a black baby. You know that Mexican baby.

[A]

Oh, you have different mamas?

[C]

Yeah. Not an Asian yet.

[A]

Three mamas.

[B]

Get you an Asian.

[A]

Three mamas. Okay.

[C]

Is your mama love?

[A]

She is, yeah. What is that? Some sort of terminology I'm not aware of? Mama love.

[B]

He said, is your mother alive?

[A]

Oh, she's alive.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

She is single, actually.

[A]

What was. Stop, stop.

[C]

You got an Instagram?

[A]

No, she doesn't have an Instagram. I don't like the line of she does tick tock. But does your mom have an Instagram?

[C]

No, she don't.

[A]

Would she like me? Why?

[C]

She like people that's like, you know.

[A]

Excuse me.

[C]

She like people that have been through.

[A]

Oh, I've been through a fight.

[B]

He's actually been through a lot.

[A]

Electrocuted.

[B]

He's been shot at.

[A]

Electrocuted.

[C]

In a movie or like real life?

[A]

No, in real life, dude. Yeah.

[C]

What was that like?

[A]

Yeah, I've been hit by a mallet.

[C]

But if he was to get shot at and you know who did it, would you tell?

[A]

Oh, I like this. This is street knowledge.

[B]

Are you a street knowledge?

[A]

We're doing street. I love it. Say that again.

[C]

If you know who shot at you and you could tell, would you?

[A]

No, homie, because I'm not a snitch.

[C]

So you want to keep them out there to shoot at other people?

[B]

I would snitch.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. No, I wouldn't snitch. But guess what, dude? They'll get their day.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'll rip their ass off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. Well, I'll rip it. I'll rip it.

[B]

Have you been shot at?

[C]

No.

[B]

Who's shooting you? You're so lovable. I would know.

[C]

I'll say. That's what my mama likes. She like guys. They get shot at.

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[B]

Every man she's been with has been shot.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

That's a prerequisite for your mother.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What a dating app.

[A]

Has she been shot?

[C]

No, she haven't.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

She keeps hanging out with guys that do it might that. No.

[C]

She's staying in the house, though.

[B]

My mom was like, okay, I got it. I got it. She stays in the house and she likes guys that are in the streets.

[C]

Where does she live in Kansas City.

[B]

Kc. That's where you're from?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't live there now, though.

[C]

No, I don't.

[B]

Where do you live now?

[C]

It's bad. I live in Atlanta.

[B]

Wait, why? What do you mean it's bad in Kansas City?

[C]

It's really, like. It's. It's. The crime rate is bad. It's bad.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How's Atlanta, though? Isn't Atlanta up and down, too?

[C]

It's so big. Like, you can. Like you can get away from it. Yeah.

[B]

You can get away from kc, KC Or Casey Mo.

[C]

Casey Mo. Okay, I got a question for y'. All.

[B]

Go ahead.

[C]

What do you say? Like, you know, how would you compare? What would you say about your success right now? What do you feel like you haven't done yet, that you want to do? Both of y'? All?

[B]

What haven't we done that we'd like to do?

[C]

I mean, solo, not together.

[B]

Oh, well, we don't.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, we don't do much separate. We're one unit.

[A]

You know, I'll be honest with you. I've done everything I've dreamt of doing. I've been in movies. I've been serious regular on TV shows. I've done stand up on tv. I've toured.

[B]

I'm about to go up in a hot air balloon for the first time. Yeah. And I hope it doesn't crash.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Would you go up in a hot air balloon?

[C]

I would.

[B]

You would?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Good. Would you skydive?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You would you bungee jump?

[C]

I don't like that.

[B]

You don't like that one?

[C]

I just tried the indoor, you know, Scott dang. And it was a lot for me.

[B]

You didn't like that?

[C]

No, I didn't. Yeah, it didn't feel good.

[A]

What's going on, man?

[B]

He's sick.

[C]

My allergies.

[A]

I think we're gonna.

[B]

We're gonna get sick.

[C]

I'm telling you.

[A]

Yeah. I think you're getting sick. Could you just be honest? I'm sorry.

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So black.

[A]

You know, you're right. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. I have allergies, and Asians get allergies as well.

[B]

Wait a minute. White people invented allergies?

[A]

Yeah, they invented it.

[B]

That's our thing. No, you didn't invent that.

[C]

No, we did.

[B]

You invented a lot of stuff. Peanut butter, traffic lights. The doorknob invented allergy.

[A]

The doorknob.

[B]

The doorknob.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Do you know about black invention?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know about all the black inventions? Because we go over them on the show pretty often.

[C]

Yeah, PlayStations.

[A]

No, you didn't.

[B]

No, that's it.

[A]

I think the Japanese.

[B]

That's the Japanese.

[A]

Yeah. That's our people.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Home security, traffic lights, elevator doors, gas masks.

[A]

The modern door to doorknob though too.

[B]

Blood banks, ironing boards, hair straighteners, refrigeration, air conditioning, Super Soakers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Super Soaker is amazing. Lonnie Johnson invented the Super Soaker water gun.

[C]

Those are very important.

[B]

Now, would your mother date Lonnie Johnson because he's. He's into guns. But they're water guns. No, she couldn't. With Lonnie Johnson?

[C]

No.

[B]

Lonnie Johnson, they say he just now.

[C]

Got paid for that. He never got paid. He just recently got paid for it.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

He just got paid for a Super Soaker?

[C]

He just recently got paid for it.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Some white guy claimed it was his.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Didn't ever pay him. Wife.

[A]

Wow, look at that. That was the Men in Black style.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow, look at him.

[B]

So he finally got paid. Lonnie Johnson finally got.

[C]

You can look it up. It says he just got paid. At the many years like him getting paid for the Super Soaker and cuz.

[B]

Some scumbag took all the money. Yes. 2013, super soaker inventor Lonnie Johnson was paid after a legal battle with Hasbro, which required the company to license the toy. $72.9 million in underpaid royalties.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Now your mother would definitely date Lonnie Johnson. Yeah, she. Lonnie Johnson.

[A]

She would fuck Lonnie.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I have a little money. Would you fuck me?

[B]

No, Not Lonnie Johnson money.

[A]

But I know I don't have Lonnie Johnson.

[B]

You're not.

[A]

No Lonnie Johnson money. Okay.

[B]

What do you think is the best black invention?

[C]

That's a good question. We got stop signs, right?

[B]

Traffic lights, I think. Was that traffic lights?

[C]

Yeah, that would be good.

[B]

That's huge.

[A]

Home security.

[B]

We were just dying before home security.

[C]

I mean, home security is so fucked up because you just watch it happen. But you like, you know it's happening, but it's like it's done. Like you can't do shit.

[B]

You can't do shit.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Explain if somebody's breaking, how's you to see it?

[A]

But then you can do some action, like call somebody.

[C]

Now if they made home security with lasers where you can shoot through.

[A]

Yes, I see.

[B]

They need that. Yeah.

[A]

Now we're thinking. Yeah, lasers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I always wonder, like in the bank, in the movies, where they try to go through. Why don't we just have those in the house?

[B]

That's true.

[A]

You and I breaking into his house.

[B]

Breaking into his home. Yeah, we're we could just ask to go over. He'd let us in.

[A]

Oh, you would? I'm going to break in. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[B]

I'm in living.

[C]

I leave my doors unlocked. I live in a nice neighborhood.

[A]

You do?

[B]

You. Do you leave your doors unlocked?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Seems risky to me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I would never leave my door unlocked.

[C]

I mean, why? Because if they going to want to go in, they going to get in anyway. You think if somebody wanted to break in your house, they're going to be like, oh, the doors is locked. We're going to turn around tomorrow. They still going to get in?

[B]

Well, it's a little.

[C]

I don't want to get a new door.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Ah, dude, let him in. He's got something there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now do you. Now do you. If they do get in, what do you do once they're in? You just let them have it or you protect your house?

[C]

I don't know. It depends if I'm there or not there.

[B]

If you're there.

[C]

Oh, I mean, it'd probably be like a shooting range.

[B]

You keep that thing on you?

[C]

I mean, not on me, but it's.

[B]

You keep that thing at the house.

[C]

It's like John Wick style.

[B]

I got you. Does Georgia have eminent domain? You know what that is, right? Isn't that what it's called where if somebody breaks into your house, you could shoot and kill them?

[C]

You gotta scream and let them know, I got a gun.

[B]

I will kill you. Yeah, right. Stand your ground. That's right. Georgia. Stand your ground law eliminates the duty to retreat before using deadly force. So in Georgia, no duty to retreat individuals are not legally required to attempt to flee a threatening situation before using deadly force. So someone breaks in your home, you could kill them.

[C]

Right, but I don't want to. I just.

[B]

I'd like to. Yeah, but it's a free pass to kill somebody.

[A]

Yeah, but it's like I'm with you.

[C]

Because it's like, I don't want to clean my house up. Like, it's in my house.

[A]

Oh, right, right.

[B]

Funny. Marco, you got plenty of money to pay someone to clean that house.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How about just go break in their house then?

[B]

I got that. Okay, so once they break into your house, you break into their house.

[A]

So you would. You would make an announcement.

[B]

Do you think chess, not checkers.

[A]

Well, how would you say it? I'm breaking your house. I want to do an act out.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I've been trying to do an act out for three minutes.

[B]

Trust me, we've seen. Yeah.

[A]

Those are the lasers. And I dog. Like I'm dodging the lasers. Right?

[B]

There he goes.

[A]

Right, right. I knew about. Marco has these lasers. Right? Right. And then all of a sudden, okay, I'm going to steal this. This Mexican baby's toy. The Mexican one, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mexican baby's toy. Yeah, yeah. And what else I wrote down with the lynch a half white baby's toy.

[C]

And then I'm ask. I'm going to say, who down there?

[A]

It's me.

[C]

Bob.

[A]

It's me, Bob.

[C]

And then I'm gonna laugh. Cause I'll be like, what the fuck is wrong with him? Why would he say his name?

[A]

It's Bob Lee, right? From la, right? Yeah.

[C]

That's when I say I got a warning shot and I fire one in the air.

[A]

Yeah, but we're bros. No, not.

[C]

And then when I come down, since you heard the fire and it has to go off again. So you always got to shoot one into the air.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So I. I have one shot to go away. To go away. Yeah. But then your roof has a hole in it.

[C]

I know. Okay. And then you're gonna have one too. So it's. It's like, you know, even.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Excuse me. Yeah, you know, it's me. But we've met before.

[C]

Lasers and everything. Yeah.

[B]

You did go past the laser.

[A]

Oh, I did, yeah. Oh, that's right. Because of my ninja school. Ninja skills.

[B]

And I'm on the corner. I'm just hanging. I'm waiting for you to come back.

[A]

Right. Okay.

[C]

Are you the getaway driver?

[B]

Always.

[C]

Oh, gay get shot.

[B]

Oh, they really? Seriously. Oh, I guess we're dead if we go to his house.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Not mine. I'm just saying in general.

[B]

Just in general.

[C]

Yeah. I will attack on me. Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, we're gonna come over.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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Just head to ridge.com and use the code bad and you're all set. After your purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show. Tell them that we sent you DraftKings.

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Tap the banner to learn more. Are you an ass guy or a titties guy?

[C]

Depends on it. Depends on what she's wearing, right?

[B]

Okay, well, I'll tell you. She's wearing like a halter top. Like a cute little halter top. Her stomach. Her midriff is shown. Her stomach is showing. Flat stomach. Beautiful, huh?

[C]

You don't want to process.

[A]

No, she's not.

[B]

No, no, no. Not anymore.

[A]

What's down below?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

What's down below?

[B]

She's wearing those pants that, you know where. That hugs your butt. The span. The. The stretchy pants where it goes into the crack of your ass. You know which ones I'm talking about.

[A]

There's also a little compartment with. Hide the penis.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

There's a little bit where they talk. They talk. The penis.

[C]

Yeah, right. I'm listening to him. You didn't add that in there.

[B]

Show me the stretchy pants that like your butt. He knows which ones I'm talking about. And she's wearing. She's shoeless. She's shoeless, no shoes. And she's out on. She's outside at the park. You know these pants are like, right? Yeah, the ones that like your butt.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, Those.

[B]

Those from the Internet. Butt crack leggings.

[A]

Yeah. And at the bag, you can just see the tip of the penis. Tuck back. Why, Marco?

[B]

Why?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

He hates it.

[C]

I'm sorry, Marco is what you say I hate.

[B]

No, I didn't say no, I said you hate that.

[C]

What?

[B]

Penis.

[C]

I know. Don't say that.

[A]

I'm sorry, dude. My bad. I read it wrong.

[B]

You read it wrong. Yeah, yeah, you read it. How about this girl? That's her right there.

[A]

Ooh, love that, don't you, bud?

[B]

Now give me your intro line to her on Instagram.

[C]

Somebody that kind of do that. It's kind of like too much attention. I don't like somebody that kind of, like, thirst trap.

[B]

You like someone to lay low.

[A]

You like.

[C]

I like to, like, you know, like, hide it a little bit.

[A]

Do you like to jiggle or what? What?

[C]

To jiggle what?

[A]

When the butt jiggles.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, the butt. I thought you was talking about something else.

[B]

Jiggling. No.

[A]

Okay, no more. We're not doing that anymore.

[C]

No more. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A penis doesn't jiggle, by the way.

[B]

Depends.

[A]

It just rises, right?

[B]

Depends.

[A]

Like a comet.

[C]

When you wake up. You wake up in the morning and what do you do?

[A]

Why do you keep asking me a question? Because I'm a normal human being, dude.

[B]

Hey, why are you jumping? He's asking a real question, okay?

[A]

What I do is respond, okay? So I wash my ghee, you know, I mean. And, you know, I have a black belt with a stripe. The stripe I can take off. So I wash that to hand wash that, right? And I go to the dojo, right? And I, you know, me and my sensei, right, we do some meditation. We'll do some yoga, right? And then, you know, I'll battle out, you know, I mean, I'll do some rounds with people. Yeah, Keanu. Keanu sometimes comes over and we'll do some, you know, I mean, Taekwondo.

[B]

Take me through your day. When you wake up, what do you do? What does funny Marco do? First thing in the morning, I wake.

[C]

Up, I realize that, you know, my feet work because you never know.

[B]

God is good.

[C]

Yeah, I'll be thankful for that. I listen to motivation, like Steve Harvey motivation, and always try to, like, show me motivation.

[B]

We love Steve Harvey. Yeah, he's one of our.

[A]

What, that offended you, huh?

[C]

It was like.

[A]

That offended you.

[B]

It was like, we love Steve Harvey.

[A]

It was like that.

[C]

It was like a push.

[A]

That did it.

[C]

It was a push.

[A]

It was a little snap.

[C]

It was like, black preacher, like, he went like that.

[B]

Show me motivation.

[A]

Show me motivation.

[B]

He says that on the show. Yeah, we did the show.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Did you do it?

[C]

I didn't.

[A]

Yeah. Interesting. It's like, we did it. You didn't.

[B]

We did it.

[A]

You didn't.

[B]

Just happens he's a godly man. Are you a godly man? You are. Do you go to church?

[C]

I'm adhd, right.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, so you can't concentrate?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I need some medicine.

[B]

They do need a church for adhd.

[A]

They do.

[C]

I need.

[B]

How much money do you put in the basket?

[C]

When it comes to most. I put in there the most I put in there because I was young.

[A]

Oh, You've been in a while.

[B]

What is this church? That's a fun church.

[C]

Oh, yeah. That's like a church I go to. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's how my church looks.

[B]

Yeah, that's how your church looks.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They got a 50 inch flat screen TV there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like the playground of my daughter. It's like where his daughter goes to the playground.

[A]

The most. The most racist thing I've ever heard.

[B]

No, he's saying his playground where his daughter goes to is diverse.

[A]

The most racist thing I've ever heard. I'm just gonna write that down. I've ever heard.

[B]

Yeah, Write that down.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I apologize.

[C]

They're happy. That's. That's the celebration of hallelujah.

[B]

That's Christ.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's the Lord getting in you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Now could I go in that church, you think?

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah, you could.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And they would welcome me.

[B]

I'd rather you not.

[C]

Yeah, we definitely let him in.

[B]

I'd let. I'd rather him not.

[C]

How much would you put in the pot?

[A]

100 bucks.

[C]

That's good.

[A]

Yeah. Can I ask one more religious question, if I may, please? Yeah, yeah. Do you think Jesus would approve you having three babies from three different babies mamas?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I feel like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because they're going to do something in life.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

And they going to save other people.

[A]

Good answer.

[B]

It also says in the Bible, be fruitful.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're being very fruitful.

[A]

Very good. Yeah. Be fruitful.

[C]

How many kids y' all got?

[B]

I have zero. We have zero.

[C]

Oh, what do you like?

[A]

We pull out blanks.

[B]

Shooting blanks.

[A]

No, we pull out.

[C]

You pull out? Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do I back up? Oh, do you back up?

[C]

No, I'm saying, do you back up?

[B]

He backs up.

[A]

No, I pull out.

[C]

What do you.

[B]

Well, he usually falls out.

[A]

I fall out.

[B]

He'll fall, Right.

[A]

I slip out.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I slip out.

[B]

There's nothing to grab onto.

[C]

That's good.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And I make a noise. I say something usually.

[C]

What is your favorite sex word?

[A]

Excuse me?

[B]

What is your favorite sex word?

[C]

Oh, is it? Excuse me?

[A]

It could be my favorite sex word.

[B]

Word, Phrase, phrase.

[A]

Dang, that hoochie is stinky.

[B]

Yeah. Dang, that hoochie. Stinky.

[C]

That's what he said.

[B]

That's usually what.

[A]

That's my favorite sentence.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Dang, that's hoochiest.

[B]

What's yours?

[C]

What's yours?

[B]

I guess when I'm making love, it's like, back that ass up. Back that Ass up. Back that ass up. Yeah, I'll say that pretty frequently to my wife. Yeah, Back that ass up. Yeah, baby doll baked. Back that ass up.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And then I'll give her a little. Get over here. Back that ass up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you say?

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

That's what you say.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, when you come?

[C]

Oh, well, no, it's just like.

[B]

Oh. Like, oh.

[A]

What is the sound that you make when you orgasm?

[C]

Oh, I really don't. I really don'. I don't make no argum c. Trying to save the energy.

[A]

Right, Right.

[B]

So protein.

[A]

You just. You just look at them.

[C]

No, sometimes you got to close your eyes.

[A]

Oh, you close your eyes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, I see that. Yeah, like that. Make no. No noise.

[C]

Don't do no noise.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Put your eyebrows down.

[B]

Can't.

[A]

Like this.

[B]

Can't.

[C]

Yeah, she gonna think it stink if you look like that.

[A]

Okay, well, this is. That's my face. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's a good bit. Shut up.

[A]

I tried, I tried.

[B]

It's a good bit. All right, if I can guess, can I guess? Are you a car guy?

[C]

No.

[B]

You don't like car? You don't drive?

[C]

I. I do, but I don't care for cars.

[B]

You don't care at all. What is it? What is the thing you like the most?

[C]

That's. What's. That's, like, what, toy?

[B]

Like toys.

[C]

A lot of money. I can buy some. I really. I couldn't even say because I didn't know I was gonna have money to buy anything, so.

[B]

And now you have it, though.

[C]

Yeah, but I just. I like to help people.

[B]

That's beautiful.

[C]

That's it.

[A]

Oh, that's sweet.

[C]

I don't really. It's not something like, oh, I knew I was gonna get that, or I want that. Like, PlayStations, PS5s and games. I played a lot of games.

[B]

He loves video games.

[A]

I love video games.

[C]

I used to be into, like, wrestling, man, and stuff. WWE was like my thing.

[B]

That was your.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Who was your guy?

[C]

Oh, I like Mankind. Because he had different personalities, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Mick Foley, Hardcore did. He had different person, right?

[A]

Have you met any of your heroes?

[C]

I was upset when I found out Kane Undertaker wasn't brothers, real brothers. Said when the Dudley Boys weren't real brothers, I thought they was real brothers.

[B]

That fucked you up.

[A]

That you are. It's a lie.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Who.

[A]

Who?

[B]

But who have you met that surprised you the most? Yeah. The Dudley Boys Forum. Who surprised you the most that you've met someone? You go, wow, I really like that person, I didn't know if I'd like them.

[C]

Yeah. I thought they was real, brother.

[B]

Yeah. What do you think gave it away? That they weren't the way they dress.

[C]

Yes. It was just the energy.

[A]

Yeah, the energy gave it away.

[B]

Something in the room.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you think about Diddy's 50 month sentence? Too much, Too little.

[C]

I don't know. I don't get.

[B]

Come on. Don't, don't, don't.

[A]

We know you though.

[C]

Let me tell y', all. Let me like, can y' all listen to what? If you pull up anything about me, I don't get into people business. Cuz look, right when you get. When you believe in God, God's going to handle the real thing. So I feel like when you living on this earth, people doing this and doing that, but it's only one answer and that's where he going to decide.

[B]

God's going to decide.

[C]

Oh, that's what really. Can't nobody ever outdo it.

[B]

I'll tell you, the judge decided he deserved 50 months. So that was, that was the judge's opinion.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So if you were a jury member, what would you have said?

[C]

I'll be sleep. I got ADHD.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Jury number 12 is asleep.

[B]

Read your DM. Read your DMs to Marco. He'd like to see how one of the exchanges goes with the girls.

[A]

Yeah, here we go. With what?

[B]

With any of the girls. He wants a game and we skip right over the game.

[A]

Yeah. So here's one. Can you read it? Yeah, yeah, here we go.

[B]

So this one says, hey, Jocelyn. And Jocelyn wrote, hi, Bobby. And that was. That was it. That was last time they talked. That was it. So that was that one.

[C]

Can you write her back?

[B]

Here's another one. Bobby. Hey, you in la? A day later. Sorry, barely. Check notifications here for one more day. Do you come often to nyc? Never responded. So his game is tight. Pretty tight. Shit.

[C]

Why you don't respond?

[B]

He gets really over it.

[A]

Yeah. If they live in. And when's the next time I'm going to be in nyc? This and that. I just like, you know, if you're in town, you're in la, then I'll take you out, whatever. But other than that. Nah, you know.

[B]

Yeah, all these. You stopped responding to literally all of these women and four of them sent the eye emoji like this. You know, the double eyes. Where are you? Yeah, I mean this has gotten really bad. I'm actually shocked. Darn. Come back. Please come back. Okay, one More.

[A]

Okay. Are you being real?

[B]

Yeah. Hey, how are you? Hey, Bobby, how are you? And then literally a month later she goes, okay, well, I'm on a show. Would you like to give me some tips on being on camera? And you responded. What do you think? You said Nothing. Yeah, you said nothing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

One more time. You said nothing pretty bad.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

What is it like? What is it?

[B]

He's afraid of commitment.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

No. He really wants to commit again. I think he's just not interested in girls that aren't interesting.

[C]

So what do you feel like his.

[B]

Type is Someone who's dynamic. Someone that's. Someone that's a dynamic person. Someone that's got their own thing.

[A]

Their own thing going, you know?

[B]

I mean, you know, he likes women.

[A]

That like an arts and craft store.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like how Roseanne was Roseanne, but just like Roseanne bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Style wise.

[A]

Style wise.

[B]

You know, fashion from a fashion perspective, Roseanne is kind of like the kind of girls you date.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because Roseanne, I mean, this is kind of some of the stuff back then.

[A]

No, that's not.

[B]

Big, beautiful blouses.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I do, I do.

[B]

Always carrying laundry. Do you get along with her, Roseanne?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We've never met. We don't know each other. Oh, do you love her?

[A]

I do love her.

[B]

So, Yeah. I don't know her.

[A]

I mean, I have that story. I told you. Do you remember?

[B]

Yes, I do. Yeah. Do you want to meet Roseanne one day? I would like to meet who's your comedy heroes. Who in comedy do you love?

[A]

Steve Harvey.

[B]

We know that. Show me.

[C]

I like him for motivations.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, okay. But not the comedy. Okay.

[C]

I didn't know he did stand up.

[B]

No, he did for a long time. Yeah.

[C]

I just thought he did. Motivations.

[B]

True. Who's your hero now?

[C]

I love Dave Chappelle because he just been ill. Do you know?

[B]

Have you met Dave?

[C]

I met him through Donnell. Road. Rolling.

[B]

Rolling.

[A]

Yeah, we love Donnell.

[B]

We love Donnell.

[C]

Yeah. He don't like you.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that real?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, wait. Are you being. How do you know this?

[C]

I'm serious. He don't like you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but what did he say?

[C]

I'm not going to go back and forth about.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You just said you stay out of people's business. Right. I'm going to call him.

[A]

Yeah. Call Donnell.

[B]

Yeah. I can't, I can't. We can't have this. I don't. This is. That hurts.

[A]

That hurts, dude.

[B]

It's also Late where he is. So he might not answer because it's got to be one in the morning. Yeah, if he's in New York. That really hurts that you said that. Because I thought we had something with him.

[C]

Him.

[B]

Oh, he doesn't like Bobby. Oh, that's fine.

[A]

Let me leave a message.

[B]

No, no, no. He said he doesn't like you. I'm fine with it.

[C]

He did something about. He was naked.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

What? That's insane.

[B]

What?

[A]

He said I was naked. I'm being real right now. Funny, Marco.

[C]

I'm serious. Like, yo, the dick sign isn't stuck in my.

[A]

Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah, son. Yeah.

[B]

That is what he says.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That's out of control, dude.

[B]

Just type text him. Do you not like me? Why don't you like me? Funny.

[C]

Marco says, okay and say goodnight, boo.

[B]

That is how you sign up.

[A]

Don't have his number.

[C]

He don't like me either.

[B]

Why not?

[C]

He just. It's just a different type of energy, but it's like a bit like.

[A]

Yeah, but he could actually say, though. Though he. Whenever I do see him, he does hug me. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's just to like, not come off as racist.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And then he goes, you're a fool to me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And he goes, get the fuck out of here.

[B]

Right? Yes.

[C]

That's telling you a lie.

[A]

That's telling me a lot. Okay, that's not good. Not good.

[B]

So do you think he's racist underneath it all? No, he's not. Are you racist?

[C]

No.

[B]

Not even a little bit? Marco, come on. No, just a little.

[C]

I mean, what is racist, you know? Yeah, no, tell me.

[B]

Bring up some pictures.

[C]

Yeah, let me know, because I need. Y' all can tell me something new.

[B]

So racism and the NFL is actively fighting it right now, as I might say, Google this pandemic.

[C]

So, like, not. I. I not liking a group of people because what they look like.

[B]

Well, practice discrimination to me, or just individual, community or institution against a person. People based on their membership, a particular racial, ethnic group. Typically, yeah.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

You don't.

[C]

Like, even I. I go off of people off the experience that I meet them.

[B]

That's.

[C]

Everybody's different.

[B]

That's great.

[C]

Yeah, that's so it's like.

[B]

That's a good way to be.

[C]

I really don't. Because if you took away color, then what.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Everybody was the same color then.

[B]

What if the world was black and.

[C]

White right then it's still.

[B]

We'd still.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, he'd probably be eliminated. But what I'm saying is.

[A]

Yeah, what up?

[B]

I like that you're writing stuff down.

[A]

Here's what it is, though. Yeah. I don't know if. Funny Marco likes me.

[B]

He loves you.

[C]

I do?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I told you I love hangover.

[A]

See, that's what I mean. What do you mean?

[B]

I don't know what you mean.

[A]

Well, he knows I'm not in for hangover.

[B]

No, he does.

[C]

He's not. You're not in hangover?

[A]

No, I'm not in hangover. Dude, that's Ken Jeong. Oh, my God. Well, not.

[C]

Was you on Mad tv?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Same guy.

[C]

See? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But you think we're the same guy?

[C]

I thought it was.

[A]

No, Now. Now, based on this photo, do you know that that's not me.

[C]

I know you on Mad tv.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You had, like, screen time.

[A]

Yeah, I was on the show.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I had screen time.

[C]

Wow. How old are you?

[A]

54. I already told you.

[C]

Are you like. You sure?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Matt TV is like. How old was you when Mad TV.

[A]

I was 30.

[B]

Oh, 24 years ago.

[C]

You remember it?

[B]

I do. I remember it very well.

[C]

I was the guy that was the. The guy that. Stop, stop.

[A]

Stuart.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Michael McDonald. Yeah.

[B]

Good friend.

[A]

Good friend of ours.

[B]

He's around. He's still. He's doing great.

[A]

Great. He works directing a lot of. He's a director.

[C]

I think they should bring it back.

[B]

Yeah, we do, too.

[A]

Yeah, we do, too.

[B]

We could use.

[C]

I don't know what it was about. I just remember watching it as a kid and it was just sketch.

[B]

Just a sketch show. Great. Like, do you like Saturday Night Live or.

[C]

No, I think Matt TV is better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[B]

That's right. Matt tv was.

[C]

You had some writing to do on there.

[A]

I did some writing. Yeah. Yeah. No, I did. No, actually, I did.

[B]

He did.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did. Why do you do that?

[B]

No, no, he did.

[A]

No. Why do you do that, though?

[B]

He did. He did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He wrote a lot.

[A]

No, no, no. I didn't write a lot, but I did write some stuff. Why do you do that?

[B]

He writes some stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Hot dog last night, Lee. Yeah.

[A]

You guys are really pissing me off today.

[B]

Keep writing it down. Maybe it'll come to fruition.

[A]

What?

[C]

Where'd you get your last name from?

[B]

It's a good question.

[A]

That's the craziest.

[B]

It makes sense.

[A]

Yeah. Well, my father, Bruce, had Lee.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Right. And I just. You know, when he gave birth to me, I just Took on the family name.

[B]

The Korean surname Lee originates from the Chinese character for plum.

[A]

Yeah. Which is the shape of my testicle.

[C]

You don't think that's racist for them to have it?

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Because that's real.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The name of the Lee, the Chinese origin deliver from the character meaning plum or plum tree. It's actually pretty beautiful. Yeah, that's actually beautiful.

[A]

It is beautiful. I'm a plum dude.

[C]

Like, you would love to have. Like you sound respectable because Lee is very.

[B]

It's. It's. It's one syllable. It's quick. Lee.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Married. Do you get your name up?

[A]

No, no. My wife would take on my name.

[C]

No, you don't want her name.

[A]

It doesn't. I. I don't know what her last name. Give me her. Give me an example of what her last name would be.

[C]

Interesting.

[A]

What?

[C]

Henderson.

[A]

Henderson?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bobby Henderson.

[B]

Bobby Henderson.

[A]

Yeah. I. I like that. I like that a lot.

[B]

Like Ricky Henderson.

[A]

Yeah. Would you change your last name? Would you change your last name?

[C]

I'm gonna ask you a question.

[A]

No, no. Why. Why can't I ask you?

[C]

You can. I'm gonna answer it first.

[A]

Okay, go ahead.

[C]

I mean, I'm answering second. What do you sound Henderson sound like? What race would you put that with?

[A]

Henderson. Let me see. That's a Henderson.

[B]

Henderson.

[A]

Henderson.

[C]

What race would you feel?

[A]

White.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Ricky Henderson was black. Great baseball player.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Really? Ricky Henderson was black? Yeah.

[C]

It's a black last name.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It's a black last name.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Henderson. It says right there, AI. The surname Henderson is only for black people. It says it right there in AI originates from the Germanic given name Henry, meaning home ruler. It's a patronomic name meaning Scottish son of Henry. It's a prominent Scottish surname because the.

[A]

Movie Harry and the Henderson, it's not a bunch of fucking black people.

[B]

It should have been.

[A]

I know. Look, Google Harry and the Henderson.

[B]

Once again, Hollywood doing their thing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Harry and the Henderson taking roles away.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So let me say something. Are you in that?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah, that's the Hendersons.

[C]

Dude.

[B]

Let's tread lightly here, okay?

[A]

Why?

[B]

Yeah, let's tread lightly.

[A]

Why tread lightly.

[B]

Let's tread lightly here.

[C]

Crazy.

[B]

It's crazy for you to bring that up. Let's just tread.

[A]

Why? Because there's a white gorilla in it.

[B]

Let's tread as lightly as we possibly can.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

You know, let's really. Let's dance on the surface. Let's do the Jesus lizard. And dance right across the water and not even touch it. Really.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

You're right. Point taken.

[B]

By the way, Harry is the dog. That's the biggest bit about this. That's right. And that's John Henderson.

[A]

Do you ever see that movie?

[C]

I have not.

[B]

You need to watch.

[A]

Does it seem scary?

[C]

No, I don't seem scary. Seem very relaxing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is actually a story about immigration. That. That whole thing that really was about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bring up Ricky Henderson, the baseball player. One of the. One of the greatest of all. So this. So it was a black man then. So maybe it changes. It changes. There he is. Ricky the dog.

[A]

Oh, shit.

[B]

One of the best. Rest in peace. He pass 2021 maybe. When did he die? 2024. Oh, my God. God. It was that in his years. Just last.

[A]

Would you change your last name?

[C]

I got two last names.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Henderson and Summers.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

So I'll go back and forth.

[A]

But if you met a woman, she's like, you need to have my last name. Would you do it?

[C]

Well, how you talking? It sound like it's going to be a Lee.

[A]

No, my last name. Jotorito.

[C]

I could take it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I like that. Okay, good.

[C]

Yeah, I would take that last name.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[B]

See, I think when you get married, you should. You guys should make up a new last name. That's my theory.

[C]

That's dope.

[B]

They should just make up a new last name. Yeah, it's a new fan.

[A]

Oh, this is fun. You come up with half and then you finish it.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Right. So go ahead.

[C]

Which one? Last Night.

[A]

Yeah, to start. I had that saying that he's gonna finish it. You can create a new Last Night. Half of a last name. Go ahead and go. Funny, Marco.

[C]

So start a half of a last name funny.

[A]

What the.

[C]

I'm. I'm. I'm. It's coming to me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Her gazer.

[A]

Her gazer.

[B]

Her gazer.

[A]

Love this game.

[C]

You didn't do her, like hurts in or nothing.

[B]

No, her gazer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, man, you do your thing, I do mine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll give you one of you finish it.

[A]

I want to play. Okay.

[B]

Sit this one out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now. Okay. Ready? I'll give you one.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Shan Penis. Shan penis. I did know that was going to go that way.

[A]

Give me another one.

[B]

See that coming?

[A]

Yeah. Give me. Let's be real. I'll do it real Bane. Merkel.

[C]

Bain.

[B]

Merkel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mr. And Mrs. Bain.

[C]

Merkel. Why do you say McCall like that?

[A]

Yeah, it's got instead of a Scottish twang.

[B]

Scottish. English is your second language.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

What do you feel like when you're on stage? Do y' all sometimes have a moment where it just seems so. Like you could just. It's like it just. In the Matrix, something just hit you, like, God damn, I'm really on stage.

[B]

Like sometimes. Yeah. Where you kind of feel surreal, where you don't even.

[C]

Yeah. Like. Like, oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like you just. Like a tunnel where you just go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's kind of how it feels sometimes.

[A]

And then I wake up, I'm in a pod.

[B]

Dripping wet.

[A]

Wet in a pod.

[C]

National fantasies. I'm talking about real life.

[B]

Real life. I gotta tell you, 18 coughs later, you're definitely sick. There's no chance.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna do.

[B]

You know, that's an hour.

[A]

Okay, let me say something.

[B]

You know, we're gonna.

[A]

We're gonna get sick.

[B]

Oh, yeah. No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. So I have mucus and it's coming out.

[B]

Yeah, that's when you're sick.

[A]

Yeah, that's sick.

[C]

It's not. It's mucus.

[B]

It's.

[C]

It's allergy.

[B]

Mucus. Allergy. Mucus. Yeah, yeah. How often does allergies create a cough?

[C]

I only coughed 17 times since I've been here.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

17 or 18. Yeah.

[A]

How long have you been sick? Oh, okay.

[C]

Why you laugh?

[B]

Oh, just because it. That's a big sickness. Two months is longer than it should be.

[C]

No, it ain't.

[B]

That's like normal, average sickness.

[A]

What are your symptoms right now? You sore throat.

[B]

What's your manager's name again?

[C]

Jackie.

[B]

Jackie. Is he sick? Yeah. Good manager.

[A]

That's like a really good man.

[B]

Good. Good fucking man.

[C]

Can I ask you a question? Because I was arguing with my brother about this. I stopped wearing pull ups at the age 6, going on 7. When did y' all stop?

[B]

Diapers, Pull ups. Same thing. I think. You pissing those? Yes. Yeah. Those are diapers? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

What's the normal age to get out of.

[B]

To get out of diapers?

[A]

I was three.

[B]

I was probably around three or four, right?

[C]

Yeah, I was six, going on seven.

[B]

Did you wet the bed as a kid?

[C]

I had a pull up on.

[B]

But when? After?

[A]

Yeah. Would you pee in the pull up while you were in bed?

[B]

No, no. After. You were six, did you wet the.

[C]

Bed or pee you.

[B]

Did you have a bedwetting problem at all as a kid?

[C]

No, after I got out of pull ups at 6, 107. You were straight, but I thought that's the average age.

[B]

No, what's the average age to get out of diapers?

[C]

Between two and three.

[B]

When do people get out of diapers? Two, maybe three. Sounds right. Four is a late. That's a late bloomer.

[A]

Funny, funny, funny. Marco, do you ever shit your pants?

[C]

Well, I guess, you know. Sharded before.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I meant.

[C]

I was trying to show out and try to fart, but.

[A]

Yeah, that was it. Okay. When's the last time it happened?

[C]

I don't do that no more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Two and four. I was right. Two and four is about right.

[C]

So why did I. Why are they six or seven? I don't know.

[A]

Maybe underdeveloped.

[B]

Well, maybe. Maybe you needed an extra. A little bit extra time.

[C]

Some people need a little bit more normal schools, too.

[B]

Normal schools?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You mean like.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Were we slow? Are we slow?

[C]

I wouldn't call it slow.

[B]

We didn't. We went.

[C]

You need special attention.

[B]

We did, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you? Yeah, yeah, we did.

[A]

You really did? A special intention. Like what? What kind?

[C]

Well, I was in a program called care.

[B]

CARE stands for Children and. And Real Experts.

[C]

Something so.

[B]

As an alternative school for those that learn different. Correct. That's kind of what it is.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Y' all been having headphones the whole time. Y' all can hear me?

[B]

Yeah. Can you hear us?

[C]

No. Yeah, yeah. I'm saying, do you want them?

[A]

They're right here.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Didn't tell me we have them. But you've been doing so fine without them. Do you want them?

[C]

I mean, y' all didn't tell me.

[B]

But you look good. We didn't want to fuck up your hat.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Wow. You got pooh, Sisi.

[B]

Yeah, this motherfucker.

[A]

Yeah, Try them.

[B]

I just didn't want to fuck up your.

[A]

Let's try them.

[B]

Does that sound better now?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Better.

[A]

You want to keep on?

[C]

Yeah, I like them.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

God bless.

[A]

God bless you. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Strip clubs are big in Atlanta. Do you go to those?

[C]

Yeah. You got a support strip club?

[B]

You have to. What's your favorite one?

[C]

Blue Flame. You got Magic City.

[B]

Magic City's pretty standard. Yeah. Flu Flame. Yeah. You are. You do befriend the dancers. Do you know them personally?

[C]

Yeah, I get to hear their story. Why they ended up there. If they dad know they, why they here? That's the first question I asked. Do your mom know you do this?

[B]

And what do they say usually?

[C]

Why would you ask that?

[B]

And what do you say in return?

[C]

I just want to know. Kind of like, you know, getting to know Their background.

[B]

Right.

[C]

It's important.

[B]

Have you ever dated a stripper?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You have more than one?

[C]

I had one solid one.

[B]

Yeah. One solid one. Good one from the Flame. Father is suing Atlanta Gentlemen's club after son is shot dead outside of blue flame. DeShawn Marquis Lee. Ah, what do you know? DeSean Marquis, Lee Hendren. Now, this is a guy that took a few last names. Yeah. After a fight inside the Blue Flame Lounge spilled into the nearby parking lot. When was this shooting?

[C]

Trust me, it's a good club.

[B]

Yeah, I know. It was a long time ago. Look at that. Three years ago. Three years ago. That's. That's so far removed.

[C]

RP to him, too. Yeah.

[B]

RIP to that gentleman. That's terrible. The Blue Flame Lounge, though. They have $5 pancakes.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Not bad.

[A]

Have you had the food there?

[C]

Nah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Only eat food from, like, you know, anywhere.

[B]

Where do you get food from then?

[C]

Papado's.

[B]

Only Papado's. And then. Do you cook? Do you cook at home?

[C]

Yeah, I cook at home. I like cooking.

[B]

You do?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What would you make us if we came over?

[A]

We came over. What was it?

[C]

I got some fried chicken.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. Sorry. I shouldn't have went that deep.

[B]

Fried chicken?

[C]

Yeah, fried chicken with some fries.

[B]

French fries?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Anything else?

[C]

Some ketchup and hot sauce?

[B]

Yeah, Ketchup and hot sauce.

[A]

What's it, salad or.

[B]

What are you drinking liquor? No liquor. Okay. Are you a drinker?

[C]

No, I drink Mike's Hard Lemonade.

[A]

Right.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

You get high?

[C]

No, I don't like coffee.

[B]

Right. No drugs.

[C]

Just I smoked before, but it was hard to cough, like. Yeah, I did an edible before, and it was just like. That was just all.

[B]

So you're. You're no. More of that?

[C]

Yeah. This is edibles.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that was, like, powerful.

[B]

It's heavy.

[C]

Those are powerful.

[B]

Yeah, they're heavy. But Mike's Hard Lemonade, you like?

[C]

Yeah, that was to get me on buzz.

[B]

I like those. Three of those. Three of those in your set?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I used to drink those in high school all the time.

[C]

Why you say it like that?

[B]

I used to drink them.

[C]

I know, but why you say like I used to?

[B]

Because I don't do it anymore. Oh, this past tense. They're too sweet for me.

[C]

Yeah. When you get older, you start to feel that way.

[B]

Yeah. Sugar. Too much sugar. Like you don't like desserts. Like I don't like Mike's Hard Lemonade. How old are you?

[A]

We don't know how old you are.

[C]

I'm 32.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

You said, like, he wasn't gonna answer.

[C]

I love, like a backup quarterback.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I look like a backup quarterback. I'll take that.

[A]

You look like a backup quarterback.

[B]

I'll take that.

[A]

What do I look like?

[C]

What's his name? Rush. If y' all look up, look up the Baltimore quarterback right now.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's right. I got tagged a lot online by that guy. People say I look like that guy. Man, you are sick.

[C]

I'm not.

[B]

There's no way that's there. I am.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's you.

[B]

That's fucking awesome.

[A]

What do I like? Do me. Do me now.

[B]

Bob doesn't know. That's not an insult.

[C]

He's.

[B]

That's fantastic to be in the NFL. Do I look like I'm in the fucking NFL?

[A]

That's a good. That's a good thing.

[B]

Huge.

[C]

And you still going like, you smart.

[A]

Yeah. Watch what he gives me now.

[B]

What does he have?

[C]

Hella interceptions.

[B]

What is. What does he look like?

[C]

Type in Panda. Panda Express.

[B]

Panda Express workers. Not gonna lie. You do look like three of the five. That's a Mexican woman.

[A]

That's a Mexican woman.

[B]

Or maybe the owners.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Is that Mr. Express right there?

[C]

Do you know why I never seen a black Chinese worker? Like, I mean, I've never seen a black person working at a Chinese restaurant.

[A]

Why?

[C]

Why not?

[B]

Why is there not black person working at a Chinese restaurant?

[C]

Yeah, they don't hire. I asked for application before. They didn't give me.

[B]

You wanted to work at Panda Express?

[C]

Not that one. No. They hire black people. A Chinese restaurant, Like.

[B]

Like if you walked into a soul food restaurant, you don't want to see white people back there working.

[C]

Yeah, it happened.

[B]

Really?

[A]

If you saw an Asian guy, do you want some grit? You know, you want cauliflower? Cauliflower. You would. You wouldn't like.

[C]

Happened. It happened at Papa's churches.

[B]

No, no, no. That's fast food. That's different. He's talking about like a family owned restaurant is different because I guarantee you there's a black guy that works at a Panda Express. I bet my life.

[C]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But at a family owned restaurant.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[B]

No, you're not.

[A]

You're not gonna get that. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like a Cracker Barrel.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

My parents own a couple cracker barrels.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We won't hire anybody but crackers.

[A]

And they kept the barrel and that.

[B]

Man on the side, and they better bring it back.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Donald, have you been to Cracker Barrel?

[C]

No, I've never been there.

[A]

It's great breakfast. You like breakfast?

[C]

I really don't eat breakfast. I told you.

[B]

You don't eat anything.

[C]

I. I eat at night at.

[B]

Late at night.

[A]

Are you having fun?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I got to learn a lot about y'. All, and this is a moment, because everybody in this room is going to die eventually, but we created a moment.

[B]

We did.

[A]

We did. I think we did.

[B]

I'd like to not die.

[C]

We came inside each other. I came inside the room.

[B]

We came inside the room, I think.

[A]

And we did come inside the room.

[B]

That part's true. That part's not true. That part.

[A]

Okay. That is.

[C]

I'm saying, like. Like from spiritually hearing you.

[B]

Spiritually. We did come. I think our energies combined.

[C]

Yeah, but it came inside.

[B]

I don't think so. I think our energies met.

[A]

My energy came inside you. Yeah. Yeah. I could feel it, too, you know.

[B]

I don't feel it.

[A]

I didn't pull out.

[C]

I feel it.

[A]

Yeah. I didn't pull out.

[C]

No. It's always gonna stick with me.

[A]

Yeah, it's gonna stick inside you.

[C]

I'm gonna go in. Yeah. Go to YouTube, and I'm gonna watch Mad TV tonight.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm going to watch your videos.

[B]

Will you show it to your son tomorrow?

[C]

What, the MAD tv?

[B]

Yeah, show your son mad tv. Why not?

[C]

I mean, what skits? What's the skit that you in that you remember that was big?

[B]

What's the one that you did?

[A]

I did. I did a bunch, but I don't.

[C]

Know what was a big one? Like, you like. This is a good one.

[A]

I did. No, don't do.

[B]

Oh, hot dog.

[A]

Was North Korean scientist. Was big. North Korean scientist.

[B]

Us. Connie Chung was big.

[A]

No, North Korean scientist is my biggest one.

[B]

Yeah, that one.

[A]

That's me and my brother Steve.

[B]

Huge.

[A]

Yeah. That was a great one.

[C]

Using Pineapple Express.

[A]

I had one line in that.

[B]

Yes, he was in it.

[A]

Yeah. How do you remember? He was in the van in one cutaway scene. Yeah. Yeah. And. And that was me and the guy.

[B]

From Hangover, and that's why he confused you. That does make sense. You know, they're almost one of the same.

[A]

No one in the same. Yeah, that's you.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Do you have any.

[A]

Yeah, it is me. Yeah. There I am again.

[B]

Marco, do you have any burning questions to ask us before we end this interview? Oh, no, I. Do you have any honest questions to ask us before we end?

[C]

What do you see yourself in, like, you know, like, 20 years? What do you see yourself.

[A]

Well, I'll be 74. I just feel like I'll be on a beach somewhere, tanning, drinking some sweet drink and get my dick suck.

[B]

I'll be 60. 62.

[A]

What a sir. You think I'll be dead.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

62. 62. I'll be living in the. In the woods in Canada somewhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So he's gonna be out of your life 100.

[B]

Yeah. This is only gonna last a couple.

[C]

We gotta enjoy these moments.

[B]

That's what I mean.

[A]

He'll be writing his manifesto.

[B]

Right.

[A]

He's gonna make things. Send it in the mail. Yeah.

[B]

I won't send it to you, though.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But some of the. Some people.

[C]

Yeah, I don't check my mailbox.

[B]

Yeah, please don't.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then where are you going to.

[B]

Be in 20 years?

[A]

You'll be 52.

[C]

I won't be 52. I'm 32 now. I probably. What? 20 years.

[A]

52.

[C]

I'll be what, 42.

[B]

42. 52. 52. Same thing. It's pretty close.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You'll be almost his age in 20 years. You'll still be younger than Bob.

[C]

I want to be living in a.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, it's gross.

[A]

Yeah, it's gross.

[B]

That's weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'll probably just be living in. I wanted like a dope adobe house.

[B]

A dope tree house.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Would you build it?

[C]

No. Hell no.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'll pay somebody to do it. Yeah.

[A]

You're emotionally healthy.

[C]

Yes. Okay. I get. I probably get mad two times a month.

[B]

What do you get mad about?

[C]

Probably getting Madden fucked up. My record.

[B]

Matt getting in Madden?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That'll set you off a little bit.

[C]

Is that.

[B]

What team do you play with in Madden?

[C]

I play. I was playing with the Chiefs. It's hard to play with, but I play with Philadelphia Eagles because the Eagles. Because they're cheap.

[B]

Because they cheat.

[C]

Yeah. I don't like the Eagles.

[B]

But you play them. They got a good squad.

[C]

Yeah, they do. But the Chiefs are going back to the subo.

[B]

You think so?

[C]

I know so.

[B]

You do?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

You heard it here.

[C]

It's part of the storyline.

[B]

It is part of the storyline.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They need to go back.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I believe in you. Funny. Marco, it's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday.

[C]

Every fucking guest.

[B]

No, no, no. It's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday episode.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

This is. This has been an actual great birthday. And I will get sick.

[A]

Hurrah.

[B]

Hurrah. Hurrah.

[A]

Huzzah. Yeah.

[B]

Do we have What?

[C]

Cake and ice cream. Do they bring it out right now?

[A]

We already did that. You don't want tears of myself.

[C]

Yeah. Is it vanilla?

[B]

Tiramisu? Tiramisu.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Is it chocolate or vanilla?

[A]

That's got all of it in there.

[B]

Got all of it?

[A]

You want to try it?

[C]

It's all of it in there.

[A]

Just try it.

[C]

I don't give them piece.

[B]

Huh? You don't like to mix.

[A]

Just try a piece.

[C]

I like stuff straight up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You have multicultural babies. You definitely like to mix.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Am I wrong?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have multicultural children, so you love to mix. Is that wrong?

[C]

You're right.

[B]

Yeah. You want beautiful babies.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Take me through there.

[B]

See?

[C]

Thank you for watching. Being a bad friend.

[A]

Here we have the Limu Imu in.

[B]

Its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating.

[A]

It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[B]

Uh, limu Is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera. They see us.

[A]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[B]

Liberty.

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Liberty. Liberty Savings Fairy. Underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.