Sick In Japan

Summary

Podcast Title: Bad Friends
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Episode Title: Sick In Japan
Release Date: February 10, 2025
Production: A 7EQUIS production

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Overview

In this episode of Bad Friends, hosts Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino engage in their signature blend of humor, storytelling, and candid conversations. The episode spans a wide range of topics, from personal anecdotes and cultural observations to lighthearted banter with their special guest, Dax Flame. The dynamic between the hosts remains lively, offering listeners both laughs and relatable moments.

---

Tour Announcements and Promotions

The episode kicks off with Bobby Lee sharing updates about their upcoming tour, expressing his excitement for the final two cities before filming his special. Highlights include:

• Boston, Massachusetts: Bobby announces four shows at the Wilbur, inviting listeners to bring their loved ones out for Valentine's Day.

  Bobby Lee [00:15]: "Boston, I love you so much. You've always done me right."

• Minneapolis, Minnesota: Andrew Santino mentions filming his Hulu special in Minneapolis, encouraging fans to grab tickets via his website.

  Andrew Santino [01:20]: "Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets."

They also tease upcoming shows in London and Dublin, emphasizing the importance of securing pre-sale tickets with the code "bad friends."

---

Cultural and Political Banter

The hosts delve into discussions about American politics and societal issues, blending humor with commentary:

• Protests Against ICE: Bobby references a recent protest in San Diego, leading to a conversation about the complexities of immigration and activism.

  Andrew Santino [02:10]: "That's what I love about America. We can protest."

• Hypothetical Korean Protests: The duo humorously speculates about what a Korean protest might entail, playfully suggesting actions like ceasing to make bibimbap and disrupting kimchi fermentation.

  Andrew Santino [03:10]: "No more. We're not gonna make Bibimbap."

• Immigration Policies: They discuss the implications of deporting various immigrant groups, poking fun at stereotypes while touching on serious themes.

  Bobby Lee [06:02]: "Donald Trump, please don't get rid of Koreans like we please. Mexicans are fine. Get rid of them."

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Personal Anecdotes and Reflections

Bobby and Andrew share personal stories that offer insights into their lives and growth:

• Teacher Encounters: Andrew recounts a childhood incident where he falsely accused a classmate of putting a rabbit in a microwave, leading to public embarrassment and a valuable life lesson about rumors.

  Andrew Santino [05:00]: "It taught me a really big lesson. Even if it's a rumor, you don't say shit, dude."

• Career Challenges: Both hosts reflect on their comedic journeys, discussing moments of failure and the importance of perseverance.

  Bobby Lee [08:14]: "If we weren't living right now you and I would be fucked."

---

Guest Interaction: Dax Flame

A significant portion of the episode features an interactive segment with Dax Flame, where the hosts engage in playful and improvisational dialogue:

• Skit and Improv Games: Bobby and Andrew involve Dax in various comedic scenarios, ranging from historical reenactments to absurdist humor about modern culture.

  Bobby Lee [37:00]: "Do you speak Japanese?"
  Dax Flame [37:10]: "No."

  Andrew Santino [37:16]: "It's funny. You're scared of doing the accent."

• Relationship Dynamics: The hosts humorously navigate a fictional scenario where Dax is dating Emma Watson, leading to exaggerated and comedic conversations about dating and social interactions.

  Bobby Lee [45:46]: "She's dating Emma Watson? He has been. He's been seen. Paparazzi have caught them out in public."

  Dax Flame [46:14]: "You're a dude. She works with animals. Babe. Hockey babe."

• Travel Plans: The trio fantasizes about extravagant trips to Japan and Mongolia, highlighting the comedic disconnect between their grand plans and the practicalities involved.

  Bobby Lee [53:44]: "That'll be cheap."

  Andrew Santino [54:37]: "How much is it?"

Throughout the interaction, the hosts and Dax maintain a lighthearted tone, showcasing their chemistry and improvisational skills.

---

Reflections on Comedy and Performance

Towards the latter part of the episode, Bobby and Andrew discuss the nature of comedy, personal growth, and their relationship with their audience:

• Audience Reactions: They emphasize the importance of audience feedback, noting how it shapes their performances and motivates them to improve.

  Andrew Santino [28:59]: "We know what that's like."

• Self-Deprecating Humor: The hosts employ self-aware humor, teasing each other and themselves in a way that resonates with listeners.

  Bobby Lee [07:20]: "I have to be here at noon."

---

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Bobby and Andrew transition into promotional segments, endorsing brands like Shopify, HelloFresh, BlueChew, and ZocDoc. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining the show's energetic pace.

Despite the structured promotions, the core of the episode remains grounded in genuine camaraderie, humor, and the hosts' unique perspectives on life and comedy.

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Notable Quotes

• Bobby Lee [00:15]: "Boston, I love you so much. You've always done me right."
• Andrew Santino [03:10]: "No more. We're not gonna make Bibimbap."
• Andrew Santino [05:00]: "It taught me a really big lesson. Even if it's a rumor, you don't say shit, dude."
• Bobby Lee [45:46]: "She's dating Emma Watson? He has been. He's been seen. Paparazzi have caught them out in public."
• Andrew Santino [28:59]: "We know what that's like."
• Bobby Lee [07:20]: "I have to be here at noon."

---

Key Takeaways

• Humor as Connection: Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino utilize humor to navigate complex topics, making their conversations both entertaining and thought-provoking.

• Candid Storytelling: Personal anecdotes offer listeners a glimpse into the hosts' lives, fostering a deeper connection.

• Dynamic Host-Guest Interaction: The playful engagement with Dax Flame exemplifies the hosts' ability to create an inclusive and lively atmosphere.

• Balancing Content and Promotions: While the episode includes promotional segments, they are woven into the narrative in a way that maintains the show's momentum.

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For more episodes and updates, follow Bad Friends on Instagram, Patreon, TikTok, and visit their official website.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

This cold and flu season, Instacart is here to help deliver all of your sick day essentials. Whether you're in prevention mode and need vitamins, hand sanitizer, and that lemon tea your nana swears by, or you're in healing mode and need medicine, soup, and a lot more tissues, simply download the Instacart app to get sick day supplies that reinvigorate or relieve. Delivered in as fast as 30 minutes, plus enjoy. Zero delivery fees on your first three orders. Excludes restaurant orders. Service fees and terms apply. Hey, bad friends. I have only two cities left on my tour before I film my special this weekend. Boston, Massachusetts. Boston, I love you so much. You've always done me right. I have four shows at the Wilbur in Boston this weekend. Bring your loves out for Valentine's Day. Then February 21 and 22. Minneapolis, let's go, baby. I'm shooting my special for hulu in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Come see me. Go to andrew santino.com for those tickets. Andrew santino.com.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello?

[Bobby Lee]

Hello?

[Andrew Santino]

Hello. Mike, it's me.

[Bobby Lee]

Beans on toast.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

And who are you?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm Squeaky the Pete.

[Bobby Lee]

Squeaky the Pete. Hello, girls. Ladies and gentlemen. You waited for it. You wanted. We're coming to London and Dublin.

[Andrew Santino]

We are. We're coming. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Tomorrow. Pre sale for the artist starts tomorrow. The code is bad, friends. We're going to be in London and Dublin July 18th and 19th. 18th and 19th. We'll be there.

[Andrew Santino]

You gotta come. Because we may not come for a while after.

[Bobby Lee]

We may not come for a while after that. London and Dublin. We're coming to see you. We're so excited. Artist pre sale starts tomorrow. The code is bad, friends. And then it's on sale to the public on Friday, February 14th. Get the artist pre sale ticket so they don't jack up the prices. Everyone on the Internet, go get them.

[Andrew Santino]

Go get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Code is bad friends. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[Andrew Santino]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends. Oh. Oh, it's so good. It's so good to be free and an American.

[Bobby Lee]

American. American. I love you. Did you see the protest this morning in San Diego?

[Andrew Santino]

That's what I love about America. We can protest. What was it about?

[Bobby Lee]

They were. They were mad at ice.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. And. Oh, dude. And then tomorrow. Hey, are you gonna not work tomorrow, Carlos? Oh, because y'all. Because of the protests against dei? No, no. Tomorrow, what they're doing, Hispanics are gonna do a no work day.

[Bobby Lee]

So what do you mean? It's like every day for them.

[Andrew Santino]

But you better not be working tomorrow, dude. I have to be here at noon.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he has to work tomorrow.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, he's a traitor. No, I'm working. I'm legal. I'm legal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, no, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The people that are legal also protesting for their people.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Don't you get it?

[Andrew Santino]

I asked about my maid in Houston and apparently she's fine. She's illegal. Well, that's good. Juanita's fine. No, Marina. Okay, let's say. Listen, I want to say something up front, if I may. That's wrong.

[Bobby Lee]

That's wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

And if one day we're going to have a Korean protest. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

For what?

[Andrew Santino]

What.

[Bobby Lee]

What's the protest?

[Andrew Santino]

No more. We're not gonna make Bibimbap.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, we'll.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do without Bibimba.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, we're also gonna do. We're gonna dig. Dig back our kimchi up from the ground so they don't ferment for one day. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Yeah, I don't like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I know. Dude, you want them to.

[Bobby Lee]

I like kimchi.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Also, those girls at the karaoke, they're not working. No. Yeah. Dude, those. What are those? Glass girls. What do they call them?

[Bobby Lee]

Grass girls.

[Andrew Santino]

What do they call them?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. But let me say this. Donald Trump, please don't get rid of Koreans like we please. Mexicans are fine. Get rid of them.

[Andrew Santino]

Get rid of our. How about the ones that came over here illegally?

[Bobby Lee]

Koreans.

[Andrew Santino]

Koreans, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do Koreans come over here illegally?

[Andrew Santino]

No, we follow the rules. We're law abiding.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta say something wild. The woman who cleans the house sometimes.

[Andrew Santino]

Your house.

[Bobby Lee]

I got scared because I thought, what if she. Is she gonna get gone? And then I asked her and I said. I said, hey, you know, if. You know, if I know how to blow the whistle, you know, what. What do I do?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I did.

[Bobby Lee]

And she said, I'm from New Mexico. And I was like, what?

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she's from Albuquerque.

[Andrew Santino]

They have accent.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's so thick. I had no idea.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Well, then she's lying. She's a lying bastard.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, you be me and I'll be here. I'll show you how it went.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Good morning. Hey, Juanita.

[Bobby Lee]

Her name's Just say Maria.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, sorry. Hey, Maria.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, hi, Michelle. Andrew.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, I'm very concerned about what's going on with the Trump thing and stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So anything I can do to help.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, maybe More money first.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, where are you from? You're from Mexico, right? Oh, you know Jon Jones.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course I did. I did. I do love her so much. What would I do? I said she could live at our house. Mine live with us.

[Andrew Santino]

Last week.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I gave her. So I ven. Hoed the money.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't give her cash? No, Venmo gotta give them cash.

[Andrew Santino]

Which. What? Look what I did, though, because they.

[Bobby Lee]

Gotta pay taxes on that.

[Andrew Santino]

I gave her 200 cash on top of the money.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I never thought I was gonna see her again.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

I swear to God.

[Bobby Lee]

200.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, look like it was like, Mike. Like, hey, thanks for all the laughs. Because, you know, I make fun of her when she's. You know.

[Bobby Lee]

I get it.

[Andrew Santino]

So I just want, you know, senorita here. I don't. I don't know her name, but.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't know her name.

[Andrew Santino]

I do. I don't want to say it, though.

[Bobby Lee]

This woman is like the love of my. I love her. She's honestly, like a man I trust.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you play games with yours all the time? No, not. Not those kind of games.

[Bobby Lee]

She never comes and finds me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

She just goes to work.

[Andrew Santino]

I go, Marco, Polo, Pollo Pollock.

[Bobby Lee]

But say this Trump. Come on, do it. Leave the Korean. Leave the Koreans alone.

[Andrew Santino]

Also leave the Mexicans alone.

[Bobby Lee]

Get them out of here.

[Andrew Santino]

Because now, check it out, dude. Who's going to do those jobs? No, you're not. Strawberry. Oh, yeah. You'd look like you're strawberry. Love strawberries. Yeah, I'd eat.

[Bobby Lee]

So what would I could I.

[Andrew Santino]

You think I could pick cotton? Do you think I could.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

How many little swabs? I don't know how it works. Do you go swab by swab?

[Bobby Lee]

It's swab by swab.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it a puff? What do you call it?

[Bobby Lee]

Up, up, Up. That's okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. How do you do it? You do use a sky.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Do they do by sky? Is that a real word?

[Andrew Santino]

In Stardew Valley, we use sky.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, sky.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, to get wheat.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you mean like a sickle?

[Andrew Santino]

Is it called a sickle or sky? Sickle. Okay. What's a sky, then?

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I hope to God that you read sickle as sky.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. I think there's a sky. Dude, if I. I'll kill myself.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not gonna say you're wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

I've been seeing sky three years, dude, because it started.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it sky? I know what it's sickle is.

[Andrew Santino]

It's got a curve to it that's a sickle. Like a grim reaper.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a sickle.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not a sickle. It's a scythe.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a scythe. No, a sickle is a handheld. No hammer and a sick.

[Andrew Santino]

Sky is that dude with a hook.

[Bobby Lee]

Scythe.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. That's a scythe.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, what's a sickle?

[Andrew Santino]

For once I'm right. Bastard.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I'm sh. You dumb, dumb. I'm shot.

[Andrew Santino]

You're all dumb dumbs.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, slow down there, all right? Once I'm right, it's almost the exact same thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, right. A sickle.

[Bobby Lee]

A scythe is just a longer handed.

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly. You don't use a sickle when you cut cotton.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't know a sky theater. You.

[Andrew Santino]

I do do.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I get the ones far. Oh, you know what I mean? I pick the ones close and I get the ones far.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, cotton is just by hand, right? It's just pick, pick, pick.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. Can I wear gloves?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think so. I think that's part of it.

[Andrew Santino]

I think I can. You know what? I would use those gloves that they use in the football games. The gigantic, like finger ones.

[Bobby Lee]

Number one.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How do they pick cotton today? I do want to know. I actually don't know. It's got to be. I want to know how big machine that forks it up. Right? Today, cotton is almost exclusively picked by using large machines called cotton pickers. Which sounds racist.

[Andrew Santino]

But dude, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa, little white boy. Get away from that cotton picker.

[Andrew Santino]

But back in the day, do you think in the 1800s, you think you. You and I be able to do it?

[Bobby Lee]

No way.

[Andrew Santino]

We would.

[Bobby Lee]

You and me, we'd fold immediately, you know, but my back would hurt. You would be sweating.

[Andrew Santino]

I would be singing. Swing, swing, sweeter. Dude, you'll be singing with me.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the movie we should make.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, you got to do the Irish song. You and I in the Irish accent. Let me start.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Swing a little sweeter.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, we would get nothing done.

[Andrew Santino]

We get nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

And then you would smoke and light a field on fire. On accident.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We get fired. Oh, well, it's interesting. They never got little people to do cotton paint because it's so low to the ground. You don't have to bend over.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's good.

[Bobby Lee]

You send them out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Go, go, go, go, go, go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be great.

[Bobby Lee]

Crazy. We could never. We would never last if we weren't in this. Do you realize if we weren't living right now you and I would be fucked.

[Andrew Santino]

That's. You know. You know when people say that and I argue against it?

[Bobby Lee]

What would we do in another time?

[Andrew Santino]

Because I'm going to say something, okay. I'm. The way I am is because of the environment that I'm in. Hear me out there. No, you laugh at me, you mock me, dude, but I'm going to tell you something right now. You know, I just do what's necessary.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. I do what's. I've always done what's necessary. Bare minimum. Yeah, but this survival, right? Yeah, right. So back then I would do the bare minimal. But I would still be able to survive and eat and all that stuff. So I would work.

[Bobby Lee]

You think so? Because a lot of people went starved to death because they did the bare minimum. If you couldn't contribute, you were gone, you were dead. Bare minimum today you get away with anything you want.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, okay. You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, keep saying because.

[Bobby Lee]

Because bare minimum today just you can get by. But you have so many resources back then what would you do to get food? You're not going to hunt.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but I would have. I would have developed a different skill set.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you think your skill set would have been? That's my point.

[Andrew Santino]

I would be. Omelets.

[Bobby Lee]

Omelet station.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I know what I'm saying is I would probably make came out wrong.

[Bobby Lee]

These days with the price of eggs.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I would, I would have figured something else out. I would also done like maybe prostitution.

[Bobby Lee]

So you'd hook yourself out.

[Andrew Santino]

I would do something that's going to be. Or you know, I know what I would do. Opium. Then I would do something kind of borderline illegal.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I mean? Right this way, Mr. John. You know, I mean and I would sit down, right. And I would supply. I'd have that supply chain going.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well that, that's not the minimum. That's good. That's a lot. That's good work ethic.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It would say Mr. Lee's mysteries. Yeah. Mr. Reese, I just. I see the font.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I see it now.

[Andrew Santino]

I see the lights.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like Vegas.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Mr. Reeves. Right. Premium opium. Right. Discount for white.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, why?

[Andrew Santino]

I just get people in.

[Bobby Lee]

Get them in?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Get the bodies in there.

[Andrew Santino]

And I would say no, you know the other who's not allowed?

[Bobby Lee]

Got it.

[Andrew Santino]

I get like guess who it might.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no hats, no loose fitting clothes.

[Andrew Santino]

That's people. Oh yeah. No. What?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, no Timberland boots. I know, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No fubu. I'm gonna have different things in there, right. That's gonna like, make my, you know, store shine. What foot massages.

[Bobby Lee]

They got that.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, I know. But I'll do other things like Brazilian wax.

[Bobby Lee]

This is all going back.

[Andrew Santino]

Red eyebrows.

[Bobby Lee]

You're selling your body manicures.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. I'll stick. Sit on your dick. All right.

[Bobby Lee]

This is all you. A hooker. This is you. This all is just a front for you being a hooker.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not. No, it's not. Yeah, that's last case.

[Bobby Lee]

That's first case. Case closed.

[Andrew Santino]

First of all, have you ever tried to have sex when you're on opium?

[Bobby Lee]

Have you?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's impossible.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I'll have this. I've had. I've tried to have sex on opiate. Opioids. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's hard. Even opioids, it's hard.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't get hard. It's hard.

[Andrew Santino]

It's hard to get hard.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's hard to get hard.

[Andrew Santino]

So I would like if. If some white burly guy was like, jacked up on my premium opium, like, straight from, like, you know, I mean, the opium. Opium, right.

[Bobby Lee]

From the opium.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Right. From the opium. Straight from the tap.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? From it.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. And they're still able to go, hey, man, let me get your butt over here. You know what I mean? I would be like, oh, this one. I have to do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Gotta do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Have I saw a Tik Tok video the other day. There's people just posting how to make cocaine on Tik Tok. Do you know this?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I would.

[Bobby Lee]

They put it behind different kinds of music, but there was like, guys that. It was just like, with music, and he was just showing like, the coca leaves in the barrel and all that stuff. They're just.

[Andrew Santino]

Now cocoa leaves are different than cacao.

[Bobby Lee]

Cacao is chocolate.

[Andrew Santino]

Chocolate, right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, good.

[Bobby Lee]

But they're cousins.

[Andrew Santino]

Are they really?

[Bobby Lee]

Chocolate and coca. Coca cocaine. Coca leaves and coca chocolate, I think are like cousin plants.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

I think so.

[Andrew Santino]

Cacao and like cocaine leaves. Yeah, because it's cacao leaves.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Coca. The plant.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's worldwide psychoactive alkaloid cocaine.

[Andrew Santino]

So if I let's. First of all.

[Bobby Lee]

And then chocolate plant is. Is the coca plant, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. But like before there was cocaine. If you and I were living in that time and you. You and I cow.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

We were wanderers, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We're just wanderer, you and I. Nomads.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Mad.

[Andrew Santino]

And we saw that leaf, we wouldn't know what to do with It.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, they started chewing on it. That's how they found out the powers of it. They chewed on it and gave them energy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. But then who was like, oh, this is great. In a powder. And up my nose, like, who came up with that?

[Bobby Lee]

Who started cocaine?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Mexicans.

[Bobby Lee]

And how.

[Andrew Santino]

How. Why would you think that you could do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Like, here's what we're saying, right? Albert Nieman isolated an active ingredient called coca leaves, which he named cocaine. Well, that's like, I found out. You know how. You know how microwaves were invented?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, should teach me.

[Bobby Lee]

There was a guy who had a bar of chocolate in his pocket, and he was working near a. A. A radiator, a radioactive radiator or whatever, and it melted, like, because he was standing next to it, and he was.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, oh, are you being real right now?

[Bobby Lee]

Look it up. How? Microwave. Watch the first microwave. It was a guy. He had a bar of chocolate in his pocket, and he. It melted because he was too close to this radiator or whatever that's called. I'm saying it wrong. American engineer Percy Spencer. Spencer was working with a radar set when he noticed a candy bar in his pocket had melted. He discovered the magnetron tube in the radar set was emitting microwaves that generated heat, melting the bar of chocolate in his pocket. That's how dumb we are.

[Andrew Santino]

We find all this on accident.

[Bobby Lee]

So. All accident?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. In therapy. This is so shameful. I've never shared this before.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you have to.

[Andrew Santino]

But I did something in third grade about the microwave. Anyway, can I. I was living in Minnesota, and there was a girl that lived next to me, and there was a rumor that she put a rabbit in a microwave. Yeah. And exploded.

[Bobby Lee]

A pet rabbit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And I. When I found the rumor, right. I was so mad. I mean, I never met a rabbit, but I was. I just remember as a kid going, explore rabbits.

[Bobby Lee]

Man can't do that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's man bad, Right? So I would. Every time she would walk by in class, I would go, rabbit killer. And she didn't do. Was just a rumor.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

And one time she cried in class.

[Bobby Lee]

Because you kept calling her rabbit Rabbit killer.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. And then the teacher brought me on in front of the class and sat me down in the chair in front of the whole class and goes, you're short. You know what I mean? You're little.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

How does that feel? Like he was belittling me in front of the class because I was making. And I started to cry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It taught me a really big lesson. Here's the lesson, even if it's a rumor, you don't say shit, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Keep it to yourself.

[Andrew Santino]

Keep it to yourself.

[Bobby Lee]

Also, what? Also that teacher.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

We got to get that guy.

[Andrew Santino]

We do.

[Bobby Lee]

Where the. Is he belittling my friend in front of people?

[Andrew Santino]

Did that makes you mad?

[Bobby Lee]

That pisses me off. I wouldn't put up with that.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Leave him alone.

[Andrew Santino]

You would have said that in class.

[Bobby Lee]

I would have been so mad if somebody belittled my friend in class.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I think now you can do it. I've seen Tik Tok videos where students talk back.

[Bobby Lee]

The one kid is my favorite that's like, instead of you, you ought to be.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, I love that.

[Bobby Lee]

I love that.

[Andrew Santino]

I love that. Yeah, yeah. Instead of yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

He's like, well, no, no, you make it up. Yeah. You know, you know, you know, Charles, Charles, you know you don't pay attention in class, right? And yet you're not putting your essays in early.

[Bobby Lee]

You wonder why kids are failing.

[Andrew Santino]

Hold on, hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

You wonder why kids fail?

[Andrew Santino]

Let me get that over again. I'm not a good teacher. You skip a few classes, you don't remember. So. Charles. Yeah, you know, I'm. You know, I'm tired of your attitude. You come to class late, right? You don't seem to, like, be interested in your book work, right? And your essays are all over the place. I mean, what is going on, pal?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, you don't really care about us as youth. You don't invest in us. You don't care about our issues and what we care about. All you want to do is get a paycheck, and that's disappointing to me. And maybe if you showed a little bit more love to the students and cared about our world and what was important to us, maybe, just maybe, we create a better environment and a better future.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so good. You don't even have to look that up. That was good. Dude, I would never be able to do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you would.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no way.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, do yours.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't do it. There's no way. I can't even. All right, try.

[Bobby Lee]

Kevin. Kevin.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't pay attention, and your essays are late. And I want to know who you think you are screwing up my class, not paying attention and goofing off.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, man. Your generation, the algorithms of your superiority, man, us kids, we just want to learn by tactile approach, by touching, feeling. Right? Learning through our own physical experiences, man, there's other Ways that we can learn, you know, not just analytical.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you're failing.

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly. But if you taught me the right way, with love and empathy. Right. I'd be able to absorb the information, maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

That's very good.

[Andrew Santino]

But the beginning, the algorithm part, I went. I didn't know what I was doing there.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know how you know how to look that up. But that kid was so powerful.

[Andrew Santino]

That guy was such a great speech. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I could have never snap back at a teacher. We never did that. Yeah, we never did that. We got. Dude, we got in so much trouble all the time. You couldn't say shit back. You couldn't go to the bathroom. If you go to the bathroom, you're fucked. I have to go to the bathroom. Too bad. Well, I'm going to go. Well, you're going to.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm a student. Ready? You're a teacher, Mr. Stevenson?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, I don't know what bathroom to use because I don't feel comfortable in the men's bathroom, even though I was born male. Right. But like, you know, I get stairs when I go to the women's bathrooms. We got to do something as a school.

[Bobby Lee]

Stand up.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

Stand up.

[Andrew Santino]

That's enough.

[Bobby Lee]

Stand up.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. What?

[Bobby Lee]

Take your pants off.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. What?

[Bobby Lee]

That's interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

End scene.

[Bobby Lee]

Even the teacher doesn't know. Yeah, I don't know what that is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I wouldn't be a good teacher because. Not. Because I don't. I don't know knowledge. And I don't have any topic.

[Bobby Lee]

You got a lot of knowledge, but.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What. What if I had to be forced to be a teacher at a school with the things that I know? What would it be about?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, Star Wars. You could do some sort of.

[Andrew Santino]

But I'm not that Star Wars.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but I'm saying you could do like Star Trek. Star Trek. Film. You could do film. Or television theory. You could do TV theory. Right. Production, maybe. Maybe media. Media? What is that? Media production. You could do that. You could do. You could do an entrepreneurial class. A digital entrepreneur.

[Andrew Santino]

You think so?

[Bobby Lee]

How to start your own business on the Internet. It's literally your whole life.

[Andrew Santino]

But you could do more than me.

[Bobby Lee]

The. I could. I don't know. Math? No. Science?

[Andrew Santino]

Bowling?

[Bobby Lee]

About sports.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Golf?

[Bobby Lee]

Yep. I could do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I know. But still. Pe. You could be a coach.

[Bobby Lee]

I am a gym teacher.

[Andrew Santino]

A gym teacher.

[Bobby Lee]

I would write a teacher.

[Andrew Santino]

I think you would know about hip history of hip hop and music.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I don't think a white redheaded guy can teach that.

[Andrew Santino]

I think that needs to change.

[Bobby Lee]

I do too.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I could do probably like more punk, you know, I mean, art rock, you know, I mean, the history of punk or the history of alternative music. Maybe I could do.

[Bobby Lee]

You could do all music.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But by the way, think about this now. The generations below us, how old is like Nirvana to them now?

[Andrew Santino]

It's so crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Think about that.

[Andrew Santino]

It's classic music. Now.

[Bobby Lee]

We have a radio station here in LA called K Earth 101. And when I first moved to LA, no, it was the oldies, which was the 50s, 60s and 70s.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Now it's the 70s, 80s and 90s.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't believe that's oldies.

[Bobby Lee]

The 90s.

[Andrew Santino]

The 90s is oldies.

[Bobby Lee]

70S, 80s and 90t.

[Andrew Santino]

So creep is an oldie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

That song, Creep.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

How about I'm a Loser by Beck?

[Bobby Lee]

Oldie.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not an oldie, that's a newie, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a goodie, but it's a good way.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wow. What's it. What's a newie?

[Bobby Lee]

Chapel Roan. That's a newie. Sabrina Carpenter. That's a newie.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

We're oldie, buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God, I feel that. Would Harry Styles be newey?

[Bobby Lee]

He's newishy.

[Andrew Santino]

Newishy. New.

[Bobby Lee]

Wishy.

[Andrew Santino]

Newishy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, because there's that. You gotta think. Remember that kid that was at the show? He was 16 years old. You think of his world. We're old. We're old, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Then why does he like us? Because we're new.

[Bobby Lee]

We're newishi.

[Andrew Santino]

We're new. You know that song? I don't know the lyrics, but it's a Harry style song. How the stars down this way.

[Bobby Lee]

What is this song?

[Andrew Santino]

Wait.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. This is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. I can do it in toots. I can do it in toots. I can't do it in. Yeah, yeah. I can do anything in dudes.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a true duder.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm a duder dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, duder.

[Andrew Santino]

But that song, one day, if that song becomes like an oldie I hang will be Shopify. Oh my God. Without. If you have an online business, you don't have Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

You're not doing it.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not doing a good job. That's for sure. Because no one does selling better than Shopify. It's home of the number one checkout on the planet. We've been shipping you guys merch since we started this show and thankfully for Shopify, it makes it so simple, so easy put into one easy to use place for us and for you.

[Andrew Santino]

So if you're into growing your business, which you all should, you should be your, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whenever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in the store, in their feed, and everywhere in between.

[Bobby Lee]

Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify, okay? That's what's really going on. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that Skims and Allbirds and Aloe uses.

[Andrew Santino]

Sign up your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com bad friends all lowercase.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to shopify.com bad friends to upgrade your selling today. That's shopify.com bad friends hello fresh.

[Andrew Santino]

With hello Fresh, you get farm fresh pre portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Skip trips to the grocery store and count on Hellofresh to make home cooking easy, fun and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. It's easy to find time to eat well with 50 wholesome, hassle free meals to choose from each week delivered to your door. Look, Bob and I are on the run. We're on the road, we're on the move. We're moving and shaking. And we need something fast and wonderful and delicious and easy. That's why HelloFresh's 15 minute meals are done in just three simple steps. So you can eat better this year without all the hassle.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, I. I love HelloFresh because it also tastes like a restaurant meal.

[Bobby Lee]

It does taste restaurant quality.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like really delicious and it comes.

[Bobby Lee]

Right to your front door. You don't even have to leave. It's so simple. And you know what? You got to try it. If you're a busy body and you need something easy and delicious and healthy, get up to 10 free meals and a free high protein item for [e-mail] BadFriends10FM.

[Andrew Santino]

One item per box with active subscription free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan.

[Bobby Lee]

That's up to 10 free HelloFresh meals. Just go to hellofresh.com bad friends10fm HelloFresh America's number one meal kit.

[Andrew Santino]

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Upgrade your business with Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. Shop pay boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning fewer carts going abandoned and more sales going Cha Ching.

[Bobby Lee]

So if you're into growing your business.

[Andrew Santino]

Get a commerce platform that's ready to sell wherever your customers are. Visit shopify.com to upgrade your selling today. That would mean that I'm just too old. Well, that like what we like, we're so not like it's like our Sinatra.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I mean we're gonna get there.

[Andrew Santino]

That Harry Styles will one day be like Sinatra.

[Bobby Lee]

He. I mean he. For that.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my.

[Bobby Lee]

For that generation. Is he not? Chalamet is kind of like. Not. I was gonna say Newman, but Chalamet is kind of like who's the best comparatively old actor To Chalamet, he would be like, Paul Newman's not too far off. Yeah, it's like a Robert De Niro. But, but, but De Niro is very brand specific. Right. Brando was more broad. Newman was more, more, more, more like him because he was very traditionally Stewart. Jimmy was more. Jimmy had a lot of character based stuff too. Like he was very kind of. I don't know yet. It's hard.

[Andrew Santino]

Think about this.

[Bobby Lee]

God, he's good though, huh?

[Andrew Santino]

He's the best. Shalom.

[Bobby Lee]

It's unbelievable, that kid.

[Andrew Santino]

200 years ago from now, what is the music going to be like to us? It's going to be like, right? Don't you think? You know, it'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And people are just at the club dancing to that. We're gonna be like, yeah. What is this?

[Bobby Lee]

Turn that music down.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? And we're like, what the fuck? And there's a singer going, ding. He's going to ding.

[Bobby Lee]

He's going to ding. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

And we're like, what is this? But the kids are like, you're old.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't get it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You guys like lyrics and like, you know, melody, go write a poem. Melody. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Loser.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God. And what are. What is. The movie's gonna be like? It's gonna be all around us. We will be.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. We'll be living in a movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine like you're in the Avengers. Cause they're gonna do another Avengers 100 years from now.

[Bobby Lee]

They have to keep making.

[Andrew Santino]

They're gonna remake it. They have, Right? But now, you know, I mean, I'm gonna be the cab driver. You know that cab driver that just dies?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I was watching Avengers yesterday again for the 90th time. I get bored.

[Bobby Lee]

You gotta.

[Andrew Santino]

And I look at all the extras, right? The lady goes, ah, you know what I mean? With the briefcase down the street. You know what I mean? And I go, what is. Where Is she going? You know, where is she going? Yeah, where is she going? But I also looked up the Avengers. That New York scene. I go approximate how many people died in that last scene? 2600 people died there. Jesus. That scene. 2,600 people died. And no one gives a shit about those people.

[Bobby Lee]

They're gone. Wow. What is cinema is going to be us, I guess it's just going to be alive. It'll be a thing that's happening like live performance. I think performance art will like morph into like. Art will just become life. Will they be. They'll be merged into one. You'll just be seeing live performance are like now. I walked down the street the other day in New York and this. These girls were doing like a full tick tock coordinated dance. The phone is on the window. They have no. They're in the middle of the street. They don't even care about the world around them. We'll just continue to be immersed in this where people are making their own. Their own realities through virtual reality.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And they'll just live through.

[Andrew Santino]

Or maybe I could be Bob Dylan.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think so.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. The gullies are broken the silly is gone.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I mean? The mountains arise and the fountains are done.

[Bobby Lee]

Keep going.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. The Clippers are winning and the Lakers are done. Times they are changing. What do you think? Whoa. Pretty good. Dylan ask, right? You do one.

[Bobby Lee]

The Mexicans are gone. Trump wants them out.

[Andrew Santino]

Very good.

[Bobby Lee]

Koreans won't budge. They'll scream and they'll shout, oh.

[Andrew Santino]

And then Woody Guthrie was like. So that guy Scoot who played Woody Guthrie came to the or because, you know, he's. He's dating my friend Sosie. So Sosi goes, me and Scoot are coming. And I got him a table and they sat and five comics all night long pointed to him and goes, great job in the movie.

[Bobby Lee]

He did do a great job.

[Andrew Santino]

Like Marc Marin, like a bunch of people. And it was. I just. And I could see him just like, like take it in. You know what I mean? Like he killed it in that movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine what that feels like.

[Andrew Santino]

But you know, like we, we get audience reactions every night.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So we know what that's like.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But we never put out like an award winning performance.

[Andrew Santino]

This is.

[Bobby Lee]

You think so? I don't think.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't think so. I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what this is? This, this show should be called Bare Minimum.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. This is. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Two bears, one minimum.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Yeah. You're right. But it was nice to see. So I shared with you what. What happened last Thursday for. To me what. It was a disaster. And I like to share it on group level, if I may.

[Bobby Lee]

Give it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. I get a call from the Little Hobbit. The Punk Rock Hobbit. You know, that is. No, the Punk Rock Hobbit. Just think about it. He's a comic.

[Bobby Lee]

The Punk Rock Hobbit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He started.

[Bobby Lee]

Josh.

[Andrew Santino]

Adam Myers started comedy. Later. Late in Life.

[Bobby Lee]

Dean Del Rey.

[Andrew Santino]

So he calls me. Hey, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, I'm doing this benefit show. Steven Tyler, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. And I go, I don't know. I don't do well in benefit shows. You're gonna kill. So I show up and Steven Tyler is in the green room. Wow. I take a photo with him. Super nice.

[Bobby Lee]

Did he ask you or you ask him?

[Andrew Santino]

I think he goes, hey, let's take a photo.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm serious.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I think that was the. The vibe.

[Bobby Lee]

I know he's a fan.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And I sat there and I was like, this is cool. Then Josh home comes in from Queens of the Stone Age.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me say something. I'm one of his biggest fans.

[Bobby Lee]

I love, love Queens.

[Andrew Santino]

Not only that, I love them. Crooked Vultures. Yeah. Yeah. And I. And I met him and I was just like, oh, are you ever gonna put on another Vultures album? He's like, I know. We're all, you know, our schedules, this and that. And then Adam Ray goes up, and he's pretty good, and I'm after him. And so I go up, I open my mouth and. And I. I'm telling you guys right now. I know I told you guys this yesterday, Right. I haven't bombed like this in years. It was silent in the room. And I. My time. Because I want to kill. Right? Because I'm like, My heroes are in the crowd. Yeah. Right. And about two minutes in, in my periphery, because I know where Josh home is sitting. I could just see him stand up and just walk up.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He walked out of the room.

[Bobby Lee]

What if he was going to make another album?

[Andrew Santino]

He was.

[Bobby Lee]

You could have inspired him.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My heart combusted into my chest plate.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, Josh, please reach out.

[Andrew Santino]

And then I go, he might do the map. And you know what he's doing? He's talking to Adam Ray in the back.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, boy, that hurt.

[Andrew Santino]

It hurt.

[Bobby Lee]

And what toppled that over? The worst. The server comes to the table the other night right after you tell that story. And the server goes, sorry, I don't know who you guys are.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

She goes, do you know Adam Ray?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I remember.

[Bobby Lee]

You got so.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't get mad.

[Bobby Lee]

You were bomb proud. You were.

[Andrew Santino]

You're bumped too.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I was. I didn't give a shit at all.

[Andrew Santino]

When your eyes crinkle, do you get. That's jealousy. Yeah. You did that. You did a Clint Eastwood.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you know what I was on? I was like, I don't want to talk anymore. I want to eat food. I'm starving.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

She wanted to talk comedy, but, you.

[Andrew Santino]

Know, and Adam's having a moment. That's great. Right. But it's just like, it. It broke my heart. And you know what? I. The same thing happened to me 18 years ago, and I've never shared this because it's so embarrassing.

[Bobby Lee]

Give it.

[Andrew Santino]

So there was this time where Anthony Kiedis was really hot on me.

[Bobby Lee]

He was like, you're hitting on you?

[Andrew Santino]

No, he loved my comedy.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

I remember one time he. I was playing in Vegas and he brought. That's the reason why I was in the Dictator is because he. He introduced me to Sasha.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

So I was. I was playing the Playboy comedy night at the palms and court McCowan comes up to me and goes, dude, Anthony Kiedis is here with Sacha Baron Cohen and David Spade.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

So they sat. Watched my set, and then they took me to dinner. Right. And then. And then, like, he would invite me to shows. Anthony. And then I was doing a show at the El Cid, and he brought Flee. The whole band. And they sat in front. It was alternative room. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I bombed so hard that night. I never talked to him again.

[Bobby Lee]

He never communicated with you again?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I would. I could see them blush, and he was embarrassed. You've never bombed in front of your heroes?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you're my hero, and every time I do bad in front of you, it breaks my heart.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you've never. You always kill it in front of your heroes.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you like that? That's not even remotely true.

[Andrew Santino]

You're. You know what?

[Bobby Lee]

You know that's not even remotely true. In fact. In fact. In fact. In fact, in front of, like, famous people. No, I don't have any good stories of, like, famous people coming to see. The only good story I had was when Catherine O'Hara came to see me.

[Andrew Santino]

Where?

[Bobby Lee]

At the Improv.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

I told you guys that.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we never heard that. When.

[Bobby Lee]

I've never told that. No, I have told the story. Yeah. I was auditioning for a show. He did a TV show for hbo.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I auditioned for the show.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then by way of some how. Through a manager or something, she obviously is so close with guest. She came and saw me at the improv, and somebody was like, hey, I think Catherine O'Hara is here to see you. And I was like, really? I was so bummed. I was by the bar. I was like, this is not good. Because what, like, what the am I gonna do, right? I go up. I have a fine set. It was good.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course you did.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, the rhythm. The rhythm was nice. The room was good. And then I go back, like, I nervously, like, walked by the room. And then I go. I go in, I go into, you know, to the green room.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was like, oh, I should go say. I want to go say hi, maybe. And then who. The guy that was working at the booth was like, she left. I was like, dude. And he was like, no, no, no. She sat, watched your whole show, was laughing. And then as soon as you got done, she got up and she went back home. And I never heard about it ever again. Christopher. Never. I never spoke to him about it. I never heard anything about it.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Kind of crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

That's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

It felt so. So rock star. I don't know if she was like. If she, like, caught wind. And I don't even know how it happened that it was like, I'm going to go watch that guy.

[Andrew Santino]

So I. I have, you know, that there was a movie idea that I. My. My. My friend McGrail and I came up with, and there's a pretty big male, you know, an actor that wants. That is curious about a role, like a.

[Bobby Lee]

Like a big guy.

[Andrew Santino]

He's pretty bad. I want to say who it is, but he. He wants to see me sometime in the next couple weeks perform. But I. I'm. I'm afraid that I'm gonna. It's gonna be another Josh home situation.

[Bobby Lee]

No chance. And Josh, by the way, reach out. He's not mad.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I know. It's all in my head. He was so nice to me, by the way, and I'm a huge fan. He's such a great talent.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine if he emails Carlos in the BoothMail.com and he's like, please tell Bobby that I do love him.

[Andrew Santino]

And I've hit the ball so many times too. I mean. I mean, you.

[Bobby Lee]

Almost every.

[Andrew Santino]

Almost every time I do, you know, I mean, sometimes.

[Bobby Lee]

Sometimes we foul tip it. Yeah, we're gonna foul tip it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, sometimes you do.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's here? Bring him in.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, bring him In.

[Bobby Lee]

Bring in our boy. Oh, look who it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. Do you call your hair.

[C]

Not recently. Well, I took a shower a second ago. That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it. I think you nailed it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it, buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

Welcome back to the show. Dax Flame, everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

You look like you had a spiritual experience. Like, you look like a different person.

[C]

I exercised also today.

[Andrew Santino]

And shower.

[Bobby Lee]

What did we do in the exercise? What do we do?

[C]

I played basketball with a friend.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we. Can. Can I see your three point stance? Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Whoa. 101.

[C]

No, just shooting.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys were just shooting together. How long do you shoot for?

[C]

Maybe 30 minutes to an hour.

[Bobby Lee]

And do you break. Break a sweat or no?

[C]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you wearing these clothes that you're wearing now or you're wearing.

[C]

No, I wore shorts today.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you did.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never seen your legs before.

[C]

I. Yeah, I usually wear jeans or pants.

[Andrew Santino]

Are your legs nice?

[Bobby Lee]

Let's see.

[C]

You can see them if you want.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'd like to see.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I'd like to see one.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa. Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Those are pretty good legs, actually.

[C]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

They're World War II legs.

[Bobby Lee]

Those are. That's like.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, like, just a traditional.

[Bobby Lee]

That's normal. Those are Normandy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Normandy legs, dude. Traditional white.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever stormed a beach?

[C]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you go to the beach?

[C]

Yeah, but I never swim.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you shouldn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you shouldn't.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't know what's out there.

[Andrew Santino]

You know who you're. You know what guy you are on Normandy?

[C]

Who?

[Andrew Santino]

The guy that kind of catches on fire, but then you run in the ocean.

[C]

Is that this the Saving Private Ryan? Is that where that starts?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

But then you run to the ocean. You only half burn, but then you pretend you're dead in the water, okay? Then the war passes, and then you. And then you're back.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you play dead in war, do you think?

[C]

In a movie or in real war?

[Bobby Lee]

No, real war. It's coming.

[C]

If I didn't think I had a.

[Bobby Lee]

Chance anymore, you just play dead. Play possum.

[C]

Yeah. Unless there is, like, someone I could potentially help.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's. Let's play it out. All right. We're in one of those. I don't know what you call it, but, you know, in the beginning of Saving Private Ryan, they're in that.

[Bobby Lee]

Those boats.

[Andrew Santino]

U boat.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no, U boats are the submarines.

[Andrew Santino]

Right, but it's one of those boats where, like, you know, and they're always like, either vomiting, right? And they're just super scared.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And bullets whizzing by, right? And they're holding. And there's always one guy with a cross and he kisses it. Right, right. There's always one guy like that. And there's another guy going, mama. You know what I mean? There's a mama guy always.

[Bobby Lee]

And there's one guy going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The Rogan killer. Joe Rogan. Yeah. Overcompensating, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Jacked up on alpha, right?

[Andrew Santino]

So then the thing closes, goes down, and then you see two or three guys in the front just go down right away. Right? What do you do?

[Bobby Lee]

What do you do?

[C]

So I see two people just d.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, well, you're like fourth row, you know? I mean. Yeah, yeah. Frankie Castro dies in front of you, right? Devon Sanchez dies in front of you.

[Bobby Lee]

Marco Jackson.

[Andrew Santino]

Jackson dies in front of you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Marco Swano.

[Andrew Santino]

Marco Swano. But. Dies in front of you. And then what do you do?

[C]

Stay in the boat.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't move forward to the beach.

[C]

I mean, if every single person is getting killed, they are now.

[Bobby Lee]

But you're.

[Andrew Santino]

You're fucking. Cap. What do you call a captain or. You're a sergeant.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a sergeant.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Sergeant's going, come on, flame. Move forward, Flame.

[Bobby Lee]

Get going, Flame.

[Andrew Santino]

You just gonna sit there? People are dying. You just sit there, Flame.

[C]

Yeah, I would. I'd probably just point out that every single person has died as they left, so.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's pretty logical. Pretty logical does make sense.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You know what? You probably go overboard on the other side, under the water.

[C]

They would throw me over, you're saying.

[Andrew Santino]

Because if you were in front of me and you weren't moving, right. I would throw you over so I.

[C]

Could get forward, but then you would get killed, right?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know yet. It's. The odds are bad, but it's like I have to go forward.

[Bobby Lee]

I would use you as a human shield.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, me too.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I would grab you and I would just have my flame shield.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And you're just getting. Let me see what that looks like.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You know what I would do, too? When he's down. When he's down, you know what I would do? I would steal something. You know what I would steal from him? His morphine packet. Oh, morphine. Morphine packet. And you would. You'd feel every pain.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you would.

[Andrew Santino]

Of your death. I wouldn't inject you with the morphine because you were a coward.

[C]

That would probably. Yeah, that would make more sense than just people Going forward. Using someone as a shield?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, pretty heavily.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, that was a brutal scene.

[Bobby Lee]

What's been going on with you, Dax? What's been happening in your life? Somebody told me that you're seeing somebody now. I heard a rumor that you're dating somebody famous. Do you know this?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no.

[C]

It's not accurate.

[Bobby Lee]

He's got a famous girlfriend. He's being shy about it.

[Andrew Santino]

Jealous.

[Bobby Lee]

Just tell him.

[C]

Emma Watson.

[Bobby Lee]

He's dating Emma Watson? He has been. He's been seen. Paparazzi have caught them out in public.

[Andrew Santino]

You're really dating Emma Watson?

[Bobby Lee]

Why are you spelled on her?

[Andrew Santino]

She.

[C]

She asked me to keep it private, but I don't like to keep anything.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, we can cut it out.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you being real right now? Yeah, he is.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you want us to cut it out? Yeah, we should cut.

[Andrew Santino]

Is there a photo?

[Bobby Lee]

There was a paparazzi photo. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

With. I want to see Dax and Emma together. I kind of believe it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they are really.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Real quick. Is that him?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Blue Chew. I'm sorry, but without Bluetooth, maybe I'm not good.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Because I've been using it, you know, I mean, because I'm an older male, and sometimes I have. You know, it's hard to get the.

[Bobby Lee]

Owl up at night.

[Andrew Santino]

And bluechew is putting its money where its mouth is and offering you a month free. Guys. The process is simple. Sign up to bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.

[Bobby Lee]

That's so easy. Bluetooth tablets are made here in the usa. They're prepared and shipped directly to your door. Take them anytime, anywhere, day or night. So you do it right, you can plan ahead. Okay. Bobby's been using this for a long time now, and I'm. I'm not kidding. The effectiveness is crazy. This guy.

[Andrew Santino]

I love it.

[Bobby Lee]

It's hard as a rock. Lasts forever. That's why he's late to the show all the time. Why not get bricked up like Bobby Lee? You ready for the best sex of your life? We got a special deal for our listeners. Make life easier by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail] and we have.

[Andrew Santino]

A special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of bluechew free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast Zocdoc. You know what? Without ZocDoc, my skin wouldn't be good, because I Got. What's the matter?

[Bobby Lee]

I have a sore throat.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my. You gotta go to zocdoc.

[Bobby Lee]

I have to get a doctor.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. This is the best way to get one. Can I tell you what it is?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

ZocDoc is a free app, my friend.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

And website where you can search and compare highly quality. Are you breathing okay?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm fine.

[Andrew Santino]

In network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Wow. And we're talking about, my friend. Booking in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health, primary care or urgent care and more.

[Bobby Lee]

You can filter based on specific preferences, whether looking for a male doctor speaks a specific language. See where it has availability that fits your work schedule or has an opening in the next day or so. Look, you're going to find the right doctor on there for you. I moved to a new neighborhood. I jumped on Zoc doc. I thought, how good is this? It's very good. And also appointments are made through zocdoc. They can happen fast. Typically you can get them within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments if you're lucky. It's amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com bad friends to find and instantly book a top rated Doctor today.

[Bobby Lee]

That's z o c-o c.com Bad Friends Zocdoc.com Bad Friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Live from Radio City Music hall, it's the SNL50 homecoming concert. Featuring performances by Arcade Fire, the B52, Backstreet Boys, Bad Bunny, Bonnie Ray, Brittany Howard, Randy Carlisle, Chris Martin, Dave Grohl, David Byrne, Devo, Eddie Vedder, Jack White, Jelly Roll, Lady Gaga, Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Mumford and Sons, Post Malone, the Roots and more. Celebrating 50 years of SNL music. February 14th at 8pm Eastern. Catch it live on Peacock.

[Bobby Lee]

Isn't that crazy?

[Andrew Santino]

That's crazy, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

So you. So how did you guys meet? How'd you meet Emma Watson?

[C]

I went to a Harry Potter thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Like a meetup or a convention or what was it?

[C]

Or a book signing.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, okay. Right on.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, a book signing. And you were signing the books, Emma. Oh, Emma Watson was.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you just run game on her? So I'm Emma Watson. Hello. Welcome. You want me to sign your book?

[Andrew Santino]

Hello. I'm her publicist, Ramon. Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

That's my publicist, Ramon. Would you like me to sign a book?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wonderful. What's your name?

[C]

Dax.

[Bobby Lee]

Dax. You're cute.

[C]

Thank you. So are you.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know why you're signing that. That's Eyes Wide Shut. The script.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is this the script for American Psycho? Listen, are you a big fan?

[C]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

You want a photo?

[C]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Anything else?

[Andrew Santino]

All right, hurry up.

[C]

How's your day going?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, not bad at all, really.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

It's better that you're here.

[C]

Oh, thank you. What kind of things do you like to do?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, count money.

[C]

These things are probably the worst.

[Bobby Lee]

Go shopping, eating food.

[Andrew Santino]

Crab cap. Crack.

[Bobby Lee]

Crab.

[Andrew Santino]

Crab.

[Bobby Lee]

I love crab cakes. I'm big. I'm a big.

[Andrew Santino]

She loves horchata.

[Bobby Lee]

I love horchata.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[C]

That's very good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So Salsa Verde loves salsa verde.

[Andrew Santino]

If she's eating Mexican food, she loves salsa verde.

[C]

What's your favorite place to get it?

[Bobby Lee]

Mexican food. Yeah, maybe like, del taco. Paquito mash.

[C]

Okay. We should go there sometime.

[Bobby Lee]

You asking me out on a date? Really? Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

You've got quite the confidence, little man.

[C]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

You're absolutely incredible. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you cut or uncut? Have you got a sleeve or is it a mushroom?

[C]

It's. I'm circumcised. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? How big is it? Limp.

[Andrew Santino]

Excuse me for a second. Emma. There's a long line.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they can wait.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but it's like, you know, we had a heart out in 45.

[Bobby Lee]

It's quite horny, so they can. I know, but how big is it? Limp.

[C]

I'm uncomfortable with your publicist hearing.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Close your ears.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

How big is it?

[C]

Average. Normal.

[Bobby Lee]

Great. Uncover.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, I heard it.

[Bobby Lee]

Still, if I said average.

[Andrew Santino]

Tom Hardy's in line.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He's gonna ask you out.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, give me your number and take me out on a date.

[C]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't wait to see.

[C]

Where are you gonna take her, Paquito Moss?

[Bobby Lee]

Get more creative.

[Andrew Santino]

Get more creative. Hi ho, hi ho.

[Bobby Lee]

Hamburger.

[Andrew Santino]

It's owned by.

[Bobby Lee]

After the date, what would you want, sugar fish? What do you want to do to me? Maybe I'm yours, Dex. Oh, what would you do to me in the villa?

[Andrew Santino]

We have a villa?

[C]

I guess. Make out.

[Bobby Lee]

Make out, then maybe.

[C]

See? Whatever you're comfortable with.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm comfortable with all of it. Tell me what you like. You want me to spit on you? Kick you? Pull your air?

[C]

I think maybe just play it by ear.

[Bobby Lee]

You want me to play with your ears?

[C]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Wonderful.

[Andrew Santino]

Crappy crap as he is in his mouth.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I see how you got her really good. Well, let me tell you something. We've had a lot of Submissions to break up your relationship. You know this. We've had women who have submitted to date you. Do you know this? Okay, put on your headphones so you can hear this. Yeah, you'd like right there.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's be honest. Okay. If you, if, if you really want to go on a date, there's a.

[Bobby Lee]

Lot of women out there. And if you, you really are dating Emma Watson. So some of these women need to get in line. People, people need to know. So yours. This woman will be second. See. Hi, Dex. My name is Katie.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm 34 years old.

[Bobby Lee]

I am a single mom. I have a 4 year old son that lives with me full time. I work in Orange County. I work at a veterinary hospital. I'm a practice manager. So I'm around animals all day pretty much. I do like to go to comedy shows. I was at the Comedy Store a few weeks ago when you opened for Bobby and Andrew and that was awesome. You were super funny.

[Andrew Santino]

And I like going to hockey games.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a huge hockey fan.

[Andrew Santino]

I like good food. I don't really know what else to say, but yeah, hopefully I get to talk to you soon.

[Bobby Lee]

She's a babe. She's a dude. She works with animals. Babe. Hockey babe.

[C]

She's very pretty.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, she's pretty. We did not pay her to say.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

In case you have doubts.

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly, Honestly, how do you feel? Let's be real good. You do about her?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is this someone that might be your type?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right on. Do you like hockey at all?

[C]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Could you pretend to like it?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, check it out. We're at the hockey game. We're at the Anaheim Ducks game. And they're playing the Edmonton Oilers. Look at them out there. Which one do you like the most?

[C]

That guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Who you rooting for?

[C]

Oh, the Oilers.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Fuck, dude, we got to get that part right.

[C]

Yeah, the Ducks.

[Bobby Lee]

Anaheim Ducks. Ducks in Orange County.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Which, which, what position do you like the most on the ice? Who do you like?

[C]

Goalie.

[Bobby Lee]

You love the goalie.

[Andrew Santino]

Nice.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. You like to protect?

[C]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You seem like a protector. Yeah, Right on, man. And she has a four year old son. You can be comfortable with another. Another young man around a child.

[C]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no. A puck comes towards you, what do you do? You grabbed it. No, you grab it with your mouth like a seal. Dude, you got. And then good. Like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no, he grabbed it. What if he puts in his mouth after.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's true.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Did you catch the puck? Do it again.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa, whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

And Then. Okay. So great. You gonna take her on a date.

[C]

In real life or in.

[Andrew Santino]

In real life.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Before you do, her four year old son is right here. This is Milo.

[Andrew Santino]

Hi.

[Bobby Lee]

And you have to tell Milo that you're gonna take his mom out on a date because he's a little uncomfortable. He's got. He's got a tick.

[Andrew Santino]

It.

[Bobby Lee]

It.

[Andrew Santino]

It's cool to meet you.

[C]

Nice to meet you. How was. How are you?

[Andrew Santino]

Good.

[C]

Do you go to school?

[Andrew Santino]

Yep. Yep, yep, yep.

[C]

You're. You seem really cool.

[Andrew Santino]

You go, go.

[C]

Do you like hockey?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Gretzky.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Wayne Gretzky.

[Andrew Santino]

No. John.

[Bobby Lee]

John Wayne Gretzky.

[Andrew Santino]

John Wayne Gretzky.

[Bobby Lee]

John Wayne Gretzky.

[Andrew Santino]

My favorite serial killer.

[Bobby Lee]

So I don't know if you're willing to leave Emma Watson, but bad friends will pay for you to take a girl on a beautiful date. If you'd like to take any of these women on a date, we will pay for the date. And I'm talking start to finish, okay? We'll get you a car service, we'll get you a nice dinner, we'll pick up the bill, you know, movie, whatever you want to do afterwards.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll be there.

[Bobby Lee]

Bobby will have to chaperone.

[Andrew Santino]

I have to chaperone.

[C]

Would y'all both be there?

[Bobby Lee]

Would you like us both to be there?

[C]

So it would either be just. Just you or just the two of you?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm. I'm probably not gonna be there.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Be honest with me, dude. Let's get this out on the open, dude. Why are you uncomfortable with just me being there?

[C]

Well, I think if there's just one other person on it, like a date, if it might feel. Well, I don't. I actually don't. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they don't know.

[C]

True.

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you like me and Bobby to go on a double date with you and one of these girls?

[C]

Oh, like you would bring people?

[Andrew Santino]

I bring my own date.

[Bobby Lee]

You bring a date when I date each other.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, we'll bring. Yeah, us two together.

[Bobby Lee]

We're on a date.

[C]

That could be distracting. Yeah, but it might make things less.

[Bobby Lee]

How about this? We'll pay for a date with you and one of these nice young ladies if you feel like. Or many. If you'd like. And. And you just report back and tell us how it went.

[C]

Okay, We.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you want us to be there? I don't think we'd want to be there.

[C]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you want us to be there?

[Andrew Santino]

Be honest.

[C]

I. I Don't. I don't know. I have to. I have. I have to think.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Think about it.

[C]

But.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. If you were to. Do you have a car yet?

[C]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Good. That's good.

[C]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Congratulations. You got a new car.

[C]

No, it's not new, but I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

You got a car.

[C]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you not have a car before?

[C]

Yeah, No, I did.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you did. You always had a car. Yeah, I know. Why? I thought he didn't.

[C]

A Subaru.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's a good car.

[C]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Would you drive to Orange county to take her on a date? Okay. I will.

[Bobby Lee]

Say, there's a couple hockey games coming up. Maybe we can get you to one of those hockey games with that girl.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

If you're interested.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you hook up on the first date or. No. Generally or. No, I.

[C]

If I felt comfortable with someone and there was a good. Yeah, then I. Then I would be comfortable, too.

[Bobby Lee]

I believe that. I believe that. If you had an unlimited budget to take a girl out on a date to. To a restaurant or whatever. Where are you taking her? We're paying. Bad friends are paying. Don't worry about it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, how about this? A weekend, a getaway, Right? You. We will pay for everything. You just tell us what. Sky's the limit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Where do you want to go?

[Andrew Santino]

Where do you want to go?

[Bobby Lee]

We will.

[Andrew Santino]

We're travel agents.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And you know Tokyo. Little. Little Tokyo. Yes, Tokyo in downtown la. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

That's what you mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Or Tokyo, Japan.

[C]

Tokyo, Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, okay. Tokyo, Japan. That's great. So did you write that down? Tokyo?

[Bobby Lee]

I did. I heard it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

A little expensive.

[Andrew Santino]

It is, but we're gonna do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, so. And first class for both of you. First class, both of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting. Yeah. That'll be cheap.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What hotel?

[Andrew Santino]

Like, we're already. 10,000.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we're deep. This is bad. Park Hyatt. What hotel?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's Park.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

How much. How much is the park translation?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. A couple thousand a night.

[Andrew Santino]

A couple thousand? Yeah. How many nights is that?

[Bobby Lee]

I think. How long you stay there?

[C]

A couple of weeks.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, 14.

[Bobby Lee]

14 times what, at two and a half thousand?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. So we're talking about 30 grand. Along with the flights. 40 robots. 50 grand.

[Bobby Lee]

We're sinking right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. 50 grand. And then dreams of sushi.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to go see Euro on the subway? Yeah, subway.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. That's another five grand. Two grand.

[Bobby Lee]

Five.

[Andrew Santino]

Five grand.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

From Eero. All right. Can we go just like, you know, like dumplings and stuff after that?

[C]

Or now for A couple days.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, he's got demand.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. And so then what are some of the activities you would like to do?

[C]

Should probably just walk around and look.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

That'll be cheap.

[Andrew Santino]

That's cheap.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank God.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

This guy's gonna buy a bullet train or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you been to Japan before?

[C]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

And you loved it.

[C]

I got the flu, so that's why I want to go back and then not get sick.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, you got the flu on your way there?

[C]

Once you got there on day two.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. What was that like?

[C]

Depressing.

[Bobby Lee]

How did you get. How did you get it? Do you think you got it from traveling?

[C]

Yeah, probably from just from.

[Bobby Lee]

Was it a bug or the physical like you were.

[C]

I. They told me it was the flu because then I went and, like, went to the doctor to see if I needed any medicine, and they said it was the flu.

[Andrew Santino]

It wasn't co. It was before COVID After. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. That's incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

And how long are you there with the flu?

[C]

One week. So one day healthy and then six days sick, and then I went back.

[Bobby Lee]

So you were in bed for six days?

[C]

Well, yeah. I mean, the second day I was kind of, like, just kind of, like, walking around, but feeling bad, and I was like, I'm just gonna relax at my hotel. And then I just started to feel really bad.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

So you spent six days in a hotel?

[C]

Basically, yes. Would you go with just solo.

[Andrew Santino]

Dax, you're by yourself. Sick and sick in Japan by yourself that's the saddest.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you ever write a song about this?

[C]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

You should.

[C]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Sick in Japan Sing it now.

[C]

Sick in Japan let's hear it.

[Bobby Lee]

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the debut of Sick of Japan by Dax Flame.

[C]

I was excited, bought my ticket. Let's take this trip. Wow. It's awesome going around, but there's something else going around. It's the flu and I miss you.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[C]

Sick Japan.

[Bobby Lee]

Sick in Japan it's pretty sick.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Did you fly first class?

[C]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Why'd you ask? First class for this trip?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What's going on?

[C]

You said unlimited budget.

[Bobby Lee]

We did? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's true. That's my bad.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta be honest with you. I kind of want to send this. Him to Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, I really.

[Andrew Santino]

Now we feel bad.

[Bobby Lee]

I want you to go.

[C]

I'll. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Should we pay for him to go to Japan? I think that's a fucking rad move. Would you. Would you love that?

[C]

I would love that, but no pressure.

[Bobby Lee]

But how about this? Here's The. Here's the twist. You've got to go to LAX right now. Twist would be you have to leave from the podcast and go to. You have to go literally now. You might not even go home.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we'll buy you a kimono.

[C]

Okay?

[Andrew Santino]

Right? One of those, you know, I mean, chopstick hair things. You gotta put those.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you think, Dax? Would you go to Japan right now if we bought you a ticket?

[Andrew Santino]

There's two flights tonight.

[C]

I do need my laptop.

[Andrew Santino]

Why? You want to watch Netflix? What are you doing?

[C]

So I can edit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he wants to be able to edit and shoot.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll edit your.

[C]

Yeah, because I have videos that I have to post still.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[C]

Make new ones.

[Andrew Santino]

Or we could maybe bring a friend of yours to shoot. He's going to work out there, right?

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's got to go alone because he wants to relive that solo experience in Japan. That's the beauty of Japan. Am I right?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Who shoots with you normally?

[C]

My friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I met him.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we met him. We met that guy. I think we should send him to Japan, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Singapore. No, what's cheaper?

[Bobby Lee]

Was cheaper.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Mongolia or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I mean, that's. Would you like to go to Mongolia?

[C]

I don't know anything about it.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a go.

[Bobby Lee]

It's great.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a Genghis Khan museum.

[C]

That'd be cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. And you like Mongolian beef.

[C]

Yes, they got that out of that.

[Bobby Lee]

They got that. There it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta tell you.

[Andrew Santino]

And the eagle. Look at the eagle. Do you like Mongolian eagles, baby?

[C]

That looks pretty cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Like.

[C]

I'd like to see that.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, look at how much you. You're gonna.

[C]

You're.

[Andrew Santino]

You're gonna get sick out there.

[Bobby Lee]

No way. You get healthier if anything.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I managed. I was on a donkey with the eagle on her arm. You and I, us three going there now.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm watching. That's you and me. And that's you, me and Bobby. That's Bobby with the E. Imagine.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine that life, the fresh air.

[C]

It does look like really, really refreshing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[C]

And interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

I really want to send him to Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Japan.

[Bobby Lee]

I really mean it. I'm not even fucking kidding. For the show. I really want to send him to Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, let's just fucking do it, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, fine.

[Andrew Santino]

We're gonna send you to Japan. Look at that, though, huh?

[C]

Cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you ever seen a skeleton cow? What is that next to that lady? That's insane looking.

[Bobby Lee]

Mongolia, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that? Cow. That's a cow. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

What time is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Right now.

[Bobby Lee]

What time is it?

[Andrew Santino]

It's 8. 801.

[Bobby Lee]

What is our midnight flight? Would you really go tonight if we booked you a flight?

[C]

Well, I would have to get my passport.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we did send you home and of course. Okay. There's an 1120.

[C]

I am supposed to go to New York on Friday.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[C]

Because someone wanted me to come make videos for them.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you rather go to Japan?

[C]

I do both.

[Bobby Lee]

You want us to? Well, just. We'll fly you round trip from LA to Japan and back. So you would leave tonight at midnight, 11:20pm you lose two days. You know that, right?

[C]

Let's see.

[Bobby Lee]

We get him back when you come back.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Is it really that long? Well, he has to stop.

[Bobby Lee]

There's only a stop at night. There's no direct at night.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh? 22 hours.

[Bobby Lee]

You willing to stop? Stop is 10 hours.

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Because you want to go to Japan?

[Andrew Santino]

Can we stop him in Mongolia at least? There's got to be a cheaper one.

[Bobby Lee]

How much is it?

[Andrew Santino]

940. You have a five hour stop. He wants first class though. Dude. How much is first class?

[Bobby Lee]

First class is so expensive.

[Andrew Santino]

Just to see what it is. How much is first class? $20,000.

[Bobby Lee]

$20,000? That's how much it costs to go to Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

Both ways or just one way?

[Bobby Lee]

That's got to be both ways.

[Andrew Santino]

It's got to be both ways. Round trip. We hope so. And what's business? That's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

20 grand?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. We do business, right? We do business when we travel.

[Bobby Lee]

We better be doing business.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. We don't do first.

[Bobby Lee]

Holy.

[Andrew Santino]

Holy. Imagine that.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine how many little Japanese guys can do that. They just do that all the time. Like little Japanese businessmen. They fly that all the time. Little, huh?

[Andrew Santino]

Some of them are bigger.

[Bobby Lee]

Which ones?

[Andrew Santino]

That's true.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

There's business. 5,000.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me say this, and I'm not kidding. I'm not making a joke. When you get back from New York, you call the boys and we are immediately going to book you a flight to Japan.

[C]

Wow. Okay, I'll do it. If you still want to then.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I want to now. So we will do it. The boys know we will book you a flight.

[Andrew Santino]

Go though.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to go with them?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Okay, but don't you want to go? Let's all go.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, we're going to Korea, aren't we? We're going to Korea.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what you say, but I don't know, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you not want to go?

[Andrew Santino]

I do want to go, but. Is that real?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's Literally. I have to go.

[Andrew Santino]

I know you have to go, so you. But who's gonna fly me there? They will, but they're gonna give me business.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm acting like a baby. Yeah, I'd like to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course you're gonna go.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll go.

[Bobby Lee]

Dax.

[Andrew Santino]

Dax, will you go to Korea with us?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. How funny. If he got sick again in Japan, I'm gonna get him sick the second time.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, we can plan that.

[Bobby Lee]

One of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. We get him sick on purpose. To the second trip to Japan. Do you speak Japanese?

[C]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Try. Good. Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

You're done. Dude, I thought was a Japanese.

[Bobby Lee]

Say it again.

[C]

Ohio. Gozaimasu.

[Bobby Lee]

When they walk into the restaurant. Yeah, yeah, I get that.

[Andrew Santino]

It's funny. You're scared of doing the accent.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You are scared of it.

[C]

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know how that would sound.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, but. But you've never done it at home that, like. Come on, Dax. Well, you know, you've done different accents at home. Not on camera because, you know, you're afraid to get canceled.

[Bobby Lee]

To.

[C]

To do the Japanese accent while speaking Japanese.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. At home in your privacy. You do it.

[C]

Maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I mean, you've done. You've done, like urban guys at home. You know what I mean?

[C]

Maybe. I can't remember specific.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, you. How about rednecks? Have you done. Can you do a redneck, you know, I mean, impression? You could because it's white. Go ahead.

[C]

Hey, y'all.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey.

[C]

Do you. Do you like. Do. Do you like trailers?

[Bobby Lee]

I do.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we do you have one for sale?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How much?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, tell us about it. I don't want to just buy out. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're right.

[C]

How much you got?

[Andrew Santino]

That's not how it works. Explain to me what kind of trailer. What's what. What are the convenient things about it.

[C]

And the utilities and just like a trailer hitch and.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that's what we always. We always wanted. Yeah, yeah. What else?

[C]

Little red bed.

[Andrew Santino]

We love little beds.

[Bobby Lee]

Little bed to bed.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, a little bit of bed.

[Bobby Lee]

A little bit.

[Andrew Santino]

You have a medium bed to bed?

[C]

Yep.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, we'll get a medium bed of bed. Yeah. And what else?

[C]

Tv.

[Andrew Santino]

What kind, though?

[Bobby Lee]

Color.

[C]

Color tv.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what kind of screen? Flat screen. Oh, that's nice.

[Bobby Lee]

How big?

[C]

36 inch TV.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not big at all.

[Andrew Santino]

Not big at all, but okay.

[C]

48 inches.

[Bobby Lee]

That's still pretty small, but that's fine.

[Andrew Santino]

What else is there? Is there a bathroom?

[C]

Yep.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

How many?

[C]

One, two.

[Andrew Santino]

One.

[Bobby Lee]

Or losing your accent, sir, where are you from? Yeah, where are you really from, sir? You're from Texas?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What part?

[C]

Dallas.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? Where? Oh, my cousins. My cousins live in Dallas. They just moved there. Which. Which area?

[C]

North of Dallas.

[Bobby Lee]

Like Frisco.

[Andrew Santino]

We love north of. Don't. We love north.

[Bobby Lee]

We love north of Dallas.

[Andrew Santino]

We love it there. Nice piano bars.

[Bobby Lee]

So are you gonna sell us this trailer?

[C]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you asking for it?

[C]

$15,000.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

That's like a flight to Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. He's having a nervous break.

[C]

That's what.

[Andrew Santino]

I was so weird.

[Bobby Lee]

It seems like they haven't.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that what you're doing? You selling everything because you're moving to Japan?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Did something happen?

[C]

Yeah, I got sick last time I was there.

[Andrew Santino]

We should bring him to.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know. Don't say it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Don't say it out loud.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. We got some plans for you, bud. You like us as fan. We feel like family to you?

[C]

Yeah. Can I ask you a question?

[Andrew Santino]

Me specifically or. Okay, go ahead.

[C]

My friend said she met you and she said that I'm friends with Dex, and you said.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wait, Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Don't. Hold up. Stop. I know what you're gonna say, and.

[Bobby Lee]

I know this is a true story. I know. Yes, it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Your friend's lying. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. And I did in a funny way, you know? You know how funny I am, right? Right? I do things in a come, do I not? Right. Everything I say is like, with it. With a hint of, like, comedy. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Say what she said.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I didn't say it.

[Bobby Lee]

What did she say?

[C]

She said bobby said that guy smells weird.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you say Dax smells weird? One of our brothers? Yeah, smells weird.

[C]

I didn't ask about the body language.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you feel about that, Buddha? Do you think Dax smells weird? Is that how you perceive him? Dude, he's our friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's. Can we work out the conversation here? Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I'm friends with that. Yeah, he smells weird.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you talk. What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

I was kidding.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not funny.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Maybe it wasn't. My bad.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

He doesn't feel it smell weird. That's why I could say it.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's really mean, I think.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you call him and tell him?

[Andrew Santino]

Your friend. Right. She has another thing coming now. Okay, Right And I said it in a comedic way. But when you started talking, I knew exactly what you're talking about. Because when I said it, and this is what a great friend she is. She was so mad on your behalf.

[Bobby Lee]

She was pissed.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Will you call?

[Andrew Santino]

She's like, what? She goes, what the fuck do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Great.

[Andrew Santino]

And I go, I'm just kidding.

[Bobby Lee]

Will you call her right now?

[C]

Yeah. You shower today before I text her and ask her if.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, text her.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah, text her.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I want. Because Bobby's willing to apologize. Because let me say something about my best friend, Bobby Lee. He will. He will make up for his mistakes always. Am I right? Am I right?

[Andrew Santino]

I hate being embarrassed.

[Bobby Lee]

You make good. You always make good. You always have. He's done everyone right.

[Andrew Santino]

Also, can I just say another thing? I. I'm proud of you, Dax, because it's something. It's not. It's something that you wouldn't say. Right, Right. I feel like you're like, I wanna. Right. You would hold things within yourself because you're kind of shy and you were very confrontational there.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by confronting you. I asked her if. I told her. I said, can I call you? I want to ask you about the smell thing on Bad Friends.

[Andrew Santino]

And what you say?

[C]

Nothing Isn't replied. I turned it off of silent mode so that.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, I can't believe that.

[Bobby Lee]

I believe every second of it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I cannot believe it. I honestly do. I didn't say it in, like, to be, like, offensive. It was just like a funny thing.

[Bobby Lee]

We know it was a joke.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but it's like. But she. She was being a good friend to you.

[C]

What did she say?

[Andrew Santino]

She said, no, he doesn't. What the do you mean by that? And I was like, oh, it's just.

[Bobby Lee]

Just kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

Just kidding.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And she was like, no, it sounded real.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm like, how did you meet this person at the store?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't remember. I. I know that she was, I.

[C]

Think, at the Improv.

[Andrew Santino]

At the Improv is what happened. Yeah, she performed.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, she's a comic.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, she comics.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, right.

[C]

To comedy.

[Andrew Santino]

She's new to comedy.

[C]

Well, new to stand up.

[Andrew Santino]

Stand up comedy. And so now when she said it to you, was she saying it like, be careful of that guy. He's an.

[C]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. What is. How did she say it?

[C]

She just told me that story.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, I'm embarrassed.

[Bobby Lee]

Was this the girl with it that we talked about the other night?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Some complete. I'd never seen her before. She seemed super nice, you know? I mean, she was a little nervous about comedy because she even said that. I think she's like, I'm not. I'm new to this.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

You'll be fine. Or something. You know? I mean. And then she goes, I'm friends with Dax. And I go, oh, yeah, he smells weird. And she goes, what the. No, same girl. I would not say that again. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

One and done, you know?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I'm so. Dax, can I say something? You. I apologize.

[C]

I accept.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't know, really. Listen.

[C]

Okay, well, I don't have a sense of smell, so I. I take showers whenever I'm going to be around people and. Because I can't tell anymore since I lost my sense of smell a couple.

[Bobby Lee]

Of years ago from COVID So you can't smell at all?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Seriously?

[C]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Nothing.

[C]

Nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Now do you feel bad?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna tell you something right now that's not true.

[C]

You don't smell bad.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't.

[C]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I've never. You've never smelled bad?

[Andrew Santino]

I've never even smelled you. When would I have had the opportunity to.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, he's here.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't hug.

[C]

That's what I said. I said. I'm usually sitting, like, seven.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And when we. When you leave, we never. We're never. We don't cross paths. You know what? So I want to say something. Okay. I said it as a joke to. Oh, no, I was. Listen, I want to say something to you. Okay. I. Honestly. I love you so much. Yeah. And I'm. It's a blessing that you get to do our show. I mean, that we have you on our show came out weird. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I do feel.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no. That's not what I meant. What I'm saying, it's a blessing that you do our show. We think you're an asset. You make our show so much more interesting and fun.

[Bobby Lee]

I agree.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, you're so important to us. I would never do anything to burn this bridge. I really think that you're. You're a sweet guy. You're a funny guy. I think you're brave. When you did that show with us at the Comedy Store in the main room. In the main room. You know how difficult that was? And you crushed it.

[C]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I mean? I only see you as an ally and a. And. And a brother.

[C]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

And I said it. I was trying to act cool because she was a. She was hot. Your friend. Her.

[Bobby Lee]

Her.

[Andrew Santino]

His friend is beautiful. Right. So I'm sorry.

[C]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

But you know what? Bobby occasionally will use comedy to deflect when he's uncomfortable, so maybe she. Her beauty blew him away.

[C]

Would you want me to say anything to her?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I'm sorry that she had to hear that.

[C]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's not. No. What do you want us. It was a joke. Tell her clearly he's kidding. No.

[Andrew Santino]

I apologize.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, let's squash it.

[Bobby Lee]

Squash the beef.

[C]

I wasn't. Yeah. I didn't feel offended.

[Andrew Santino]

Good. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Dax, have you ever been offended by us on this show?

[C]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Good.

[Andrew Santino]

We love you so much. Anyway, look in the camera.

[C]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Bobby Lee]

The best.

[Andrew Santino]

Who.