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This time of year, everyone talks about going dry, but at Athletic Brewing Co. We're skipping that because we prefer going athletic, which isn't dry at all. From crisp goldens to hoppy IPAs and limited releases in between, you'll find something that fits your style. Every single non alcoholic brew is packed with flavor and the same craft experience you love. So yeah, you could call it dry, but there's really nothing dry about it. Find your new favorite near beer@athleticalbrewing.com Athletic Brewing Company fit for all times. Hey, we're going to be in Lincoln, California.
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That's basically Sacramento.
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Abraham Lincoln.
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Abraham Lincoln is not from there, but that is basically Sacramento. On March 14th, we'll be there at the Thunder Valley Casino. Then May 8th, right here in Los Angeles, our hometown, we're at the the.
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The. The. The. The. The. Netflix Comedy Festival.
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He got it. Netflix is a joke at the YouTube theater. Go to badfriends pod.com for those tickets. That's bad friends.
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Pod.com comedy the these are the voyages of the starship Bad Friends. Its mission, to explore strange newbies. To seek out weirdos, wild stories and bad decisions. And to boldly go where no sane podcast, HR department or legal team has gone before.
C
You two are Bad Friends.
B
Who are these two idiots?
C
White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
A
You two or something.
C
We're Bad Friends.
B
Whoa. Don't. Is mine facing the right way?
A
Yeah, it is.
B
Why do you have makeup on?
C
Cuz I'm going out after.
A
She's going to go. She's going bowling.
B
Wait, who are you going bowling with?
C
Her friend and some friends.
A
Yeah? Yeah.
B
You going out on a date?
C
No, just friends.
B
You're going out on a date? No. Yeah. You're fidgety. I know you're going out on a date. Who's the guy?
C
No one.
B
Welcome back to Bad Friends.
A
The one that she likes is in Hawaii, right? The one that you like is in Hawaii. Yeah. You have a crush on him. That's all I say. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. Hawaii and Rudy, you're on a different wavelength than I am. Dude. I don't know if I could do it. You're overwhelmingly. Welcome back to Bad Friends. I'm Yamoin. I'm a Ferengi. And this one is a cardinal. Where are the dilithium crystals?
B
Where are they, Rudy? Where are they, Rudy?
C
I don't know.
B
Where are your boyfriends? Where are your BBC boyfriends? Welcome back to Bad Friends. It's our six year anniversary.
A
You want to go inside my black Hole.
B
Welcome to my black hole.
A
Oh, welcome. There's poo in there.
B
Dude. Six years we've been doing this fun show and bringing you guys fun.
A
Star Wars. Star Wars.
B
Don't do it.
A
I'm Darth. I'm Darth.
B
What a night to have. It's a Star Trek six year anniversary. We've got Rudy Jewels over here. Beam me down, dog. There it is. Hell, yeah.
A
Yeah, dude.
B
The variation of the Shocker.
A
Yeah, I got it.
B
He's got it.
A
You see Bad Bunny or what?
B
Whoa. What did you say?
A
Did you see Bad Bunny?
B
I saw a bad Bunny.
A
You know what?
C
You gotta sing at least one, so.
B
Such a good performance.
A
I saw Turning Point. I did. It was great.
B
I was on True Social, baby.
A
It was. You know what? Kevin Spacey did a little number. He wore a tuxedo. He did a little dance. He had. He had a top hat. You know what else? Jon Voight did a scene from Midnight Cowboy.
B
Whoa.
A
Yeah. It was great.
B
That was awesome.
A
It was awesome, dude.
B
Yeah, well, I thought Turning Point. While a lot of Americans were watching Bad Bunny ruin the halftime show, Bobby and I were tuned into Turning Point. Kid Rock, rep the stage. Yeah. What's up, America?
A
Yeah.
B
Sick of these liberal turds.
A
And that lady that took eighth in American Idol, she was great, too. She was great.
B
Dude, Bad Bunny rip.
A
He ripped. Dude.
C
So hot.
A
It's so.
B
He's a hot guy.
A
He's a hot guy.
B
Yeah, just walking through.
A
A good actor, too.
B
You know my favorite thing about the Bad Bunny thing?
A
What?
B
That made me laugh at the behind. They had a marketplace like.
A
Like a little.
B
A little convenience store in the background. And it said, we accept ebt. I was like, that's so funny. Yeah, it was in neon. Did you not see that? It was so funny. EBT accepted at the Bad Bunny halftime show. Super bowl was one of the worst Super Bowls I think I've ever seen in my entire life.
A
I didn't know who played, who won.
B
No, nobody won. Everyone lost.
A
No Seahawks. Who won?
B
Seattle did win.
A
They did?
B
Yeah.
A
Well, good. Congratulations to Seattle.
B
Who cares?
A
I don't care.
B
Shitty Super Bowl.
A
Yeah.
B
It was boring. What I'm more interested in right now.
A
Yeah.
B
Is how bad I feel about last night. I boned you. I boned you bad. I boned him good. I feel bad.
A
He me.
B
Well, I feel so here.
A
Can I tell? Yeah, go ahead.
B
No. We went to the premiere of Anyway, our new animated movie that Bobby and I played. The announcers, Chuck and Rusty, please go see goat. It's out February 13th.
A
Yep.
B
I think.
A
Yeah. Two days ago.
B
Two days ago.
A
It's out in the theater still.
B
Please go see it.
A
Yeah. You finished it, right?
B
Yeah. You went home halfway through. They didn't even sit us in the same theater.
A
That's what pissed me off. I was alone, right. Sitting there, but big bag of popcorn, all the celebrities, like, far away from me.
B
You guys could have taken us. Huh? You guys both have plus ones and you could have taken us.
A
Oh, we. There was so many. Yeah, we could have. No, we couldn't have sold out. So filled. Did you like it?
B
I loved it.
A
I love it too.
B
I actually thought it was awesome.
A
Yeah? Yeah.
B
But I called you afterwards. You.
A
Your voice came out first. Do you remember?
B
What do you mean?
A
In the beginning, the movie. I could hear your voice in the background.
B
In the far background.
A
The background. Yeah. And it was. I was like, there's Andrew.
B
But you got the biggest pops.
A
No, I didn't.
B
And one of the guys son said to me at the after party, because we have friends that have kids that showed up. And I was like, did you like the movie? And he goes, yeah. And I said, did you like the announcers? He goes, yeah. And I said. And I said, which one did you like more? Did you like the big one or the little one? And he goes, I like the little one. I said, good.
A
That's good.
B
That's good.
A
That's good.
B
Because he plays the little tiny one you ripped. It's. It. Honestly, it's. It's cute and sweet and funny.
A
Yeah.
B
I hope people go see it. It's a fun animated movie. Bring your. Bring your.
A
The way he me was. So then Saturday night.
B
Oh, timeout. First of all, that night after the movie, we're supposed to go to a little after get together. Nick Kroll, all these people that are in the movie go. I call him. I said, where are you? Are you lost? Do you not know where to go? It's literally in the same complex. I'm already at home. I'm in bed.
A
Yeah, I was already in bed.
B
He bailed halfway through the movie.
A
I was alone.
B
One of the women working there goes, your friend left. I said, where did he go? She goes, I think home. He got in his driver car and he left. But then we were told the next night was like a wrap party. But it was a screening.
A
No, it wasn't.
B
During the day was.
A
I know, but this is what he says to me, this lying bastard.
B
Okay, well, it's not a lie. It's what I was told. It's What? I was told they were like, screenings all day and don't come. Spank my boy, Spank. Shout out to Spank. Spank goes, don't need to go. It's a screening.
A
Anyway, I get a call going, you know, a car's picking you up at 6:15. I go, where are we going? He goes, you're going to the wrap party. So I'm going to go, right? And then, right. The car arrives. I'm talking to Andrew. Andrew goes, it's not a wrap party, dude. It's another screening, right? So I went up to the driver and I gave him some money. I go, you know what? You can go home. I don't want to go to another screening. He leaves, and then like 30 minutes later, he calls me like, oh, no, it is a rap party. And I'm like, I'm gone.
B
Sorry.
A
Gone.
B
I didn't go. I stayed at home. I watched Pluribus. Have you seen that show?
C
I haven't finished.
A
I finished it.
B
Oh, bro, it's great.
A
I like the ending.
B
Wow. It's good. No, but I. But Bobby goes, I gave that guy 200 bucks. And he. I made him leave. I was like, well, you don't want to go to a rap party anyway because it's just a bunch of drunk people standing around.
A
I wanted to go.
B
Should have gone. I told you to go, dude, you.
A
Me? What are you talking about?
B
You could have called your manager and said, can I get another car? And they would have sent.
A
Yeah, I'm not yet. No, see, I'll tell you why.
B
It could have been fixed.
A
It can't be fixed. Right? Because those drivers were specifically. They know what to do, you know, Right? You know that, right?
B
Is that your mom as a. That's insane.
A
Insane.
B
Dude, that's your mom.
A
The great. She's yellow. Dude. Put the.
B
Wait, what is that in Star Trek world? What is that called? Who is that woman? She's playing.
A
This is the locker room for the guys.
B
Oh, oh, oh. Oh, yeah. Jerk material. I get it. That's insane. That's your mom. Hey, can I have that?
A
Frank, that is actually amazing.
B
Yeah. Your mom's tits are that big, actually. Yeah.
A
What?
B
They are.
A
Okay, okay. But if big with that face, would you.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
Without this.
B
Without.
A
Yeah. Okay.
B
Rudy, be good.
C
I am good.
B
No, you're not. You know, it's so funny when you put on face makeup like this, when you put on face paint like you're going out for the night. Yeah, I know. It's because she's going on a Little secret date. Yeah, you are.
C
I'm just hanging out with friends.
A
No, you look like a colorful coconut.
B
You're like when Tom Hanks painted the coconut to have sex with it in that fucking island movie. Wilson. Yeah, Wilson. You're Wilson. Your new nickname is Wilson.
A
Yeah.
B
Everybody online, call Rudy Wilson, please.
A
Wilson.
B
Oh, that was so good.
A
That's. You rude.
C
That's cute.
B
Where are you going after? Is you going bowling?
C
Yeah, Highland Park.
B
Oh, you're gonna Highland Park Bowl. Fantastic.
A
I've been going out all the time now.
B
Now. What time does she get home to the house?
A
Sometimes four in the morning. Gross. Yeah.
B
Did you see it on the ring or whatever on the cam on your camera?
C
No, no, he just hears me because he's also away.
B
Well, he's playing. He's playing games.
A
Yeah. I was like, I wander around in the kitchen, but.
B
But when she interrogate at all, are you ever like, what's been going on?
A
She immediately starts yelling.
B
You do.
A
You get mad like, where'd you go?
B
Yeah, where'd you go?
A
I. I have every right to go out. I go out. You know what I mean? I'm like, all right, relax.
C
Christ. No, because he starts that tone.
A
Yeah.
C
He starts saying, why are you out so late?
B
Why are you out so late?
C
Because I can be out late.
B
No, no, no.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
That's not right.
A
Would you. Yes, for the morning.
B
For the morning.
A
Yeah.
B
I'm concerned. Here's the difference. You can do whatever you want. Doesn't mean you should or have to. So what are you doing out at that late?
C
Well, last time I just went to the beach with friends.
B
I don't like that.
A
And then I go, who did you go to the beach with? He goes, my friend Hillary. And then pause, lie. And then. A bunch of guys.
B
Yeah, a bunch of guys. At 4am yeah. Let me tell you something. My mom used to say to me, nothing Good happens after 2am you should come home. So what are you doing between 2 and 4am Something bad is going on.
C
You smoked weed.
B
See, Smoking weed.
A
Smoking weed now.
B
Just a little gross. You're a bad. No, it's. What do you mean? It's just weed.
C
Just a little.
B
It's just meth. It's just crack. It's just.
C
I'm not doing other stuff.
B
That's how it starts with the weed. It starts.
C
Shocked.
B
Marijuana has been labeled as a gateway drug.
A
The gateway drug.
B
Statistically, most people who use hard drugs use marijuana first pound for pounds. Marijuana and adolescent brain development because the teenage brain is still developing until the teenage. Until the mid-20s, which you're not in your mid-20s.
A
You want tough love? I'll give you tough love. Yeah. Yeah.
B
No.
A
You do it again, you're out of the house. You're out of the house.
C
I got a nipple piercing, too.
B
What the. Oh, no, you didn't.
A
What?
C
Yeah.
B
That's unbelievable. Dude, you're really pissing us off, man.
A
What, are you goth now?
C
No, I'm not. It's just fun.
B
No, it's not fun. It's gross.
A
It's gross. Oh, my God. You know what? She's gonna. She's gonna have tattoos on her face.
B
Neck tattoos on the way.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Face tattoos on the way. Teardrops for the dead homies on the way. I can't believe you did that.
C
It wasn't painful.
B
No, that's not what we're talking about.
A
Who'd you get it with?
C
Your friend Hillary?
A
Yeah. We're at a mall?
C
No, at the tattoo shop.
A
Bad people hang out in those places. Is that where you get your weed? No.
B
You get your tit pierced and a bottle of weed?
A
Yeah.
B
Guy who doesn't know about weed. Did you get a bottle of weed and your titty pierced?
A
Yeah.
B
At the tattoo shop.
A
Did you get a carafe of weed?
B
Gave you that. That. That. That s. Sinister weed?
A
Yes.
B
Who gave it to you?
A
Did you snort it? I. I heard the kids lately snort.
B
They put it in their ass.
A
Yeah, they do.
B
They'll put it right in their ass.
A
Yeah, they rub it on their eyes. It goes straight to the brain.
B
Where are you buying the weed?
C
I'm not buying. I just.
A
Oh, you have a drug dealer boyfriend.
B
She's got a drug dealer boyfriend.
A
A drug dealer boyfriend named Raul. Raul, huh? Raul probably listens to Bad Bunny.
B
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
A
Oh, what else do you do at night?
C
That's it.
B
Piercing your tit. You're smoking drugs at the what? And by the way, Hillary's not a real person.
A
No.
B
Call her right now.
A
Never even seen or heard of her.
B
Call Hillary right now.
A
Yeah. Who's Hillary?
B
Put her on the line. Oh, shut up.
A
This sounds like Clinton. Oh, it is Hillary Clinton.
B
Oh, you mean one of Epstein's friends? Yeah, Hillary Hill dog, the sinister suit wearer. Answer Hillary.
A
If she doesn't answer, there's no Hillary.
C
She's not answering.
B
No. It doesn't matter. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
A
Because you're calling your mom. Yeah. And she's not picking up the phone. Yeah. You put your mom's a random girl's face on the.
B
Let Me. Leave a voice message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up. Hillary.
A
Excuse me. We heard about the marijuana, the weed and. Yeah.
B
The breast is being pierced and the boob piercing.
A
Yeah.
B
We need to call back.
A
Call back asap. Call back. We need to talk to you about Jesus Christ.
B
Yes. The Lord and savior.
A
Your lord and savior. Right. We need to talk about discipline.
B
That's right.
A
Right. And if you want to get scared straight, we'll scare you straight.
B
I'll scare you real straight, pal.
A
Pal, listen here. You know what? Don't call Jules ever again.
B
Don't. Ever again.
A
Don't ever call her.
B
She's not your friend.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Right now influence the path of life you're living.
A
Yeah.
B
Is like scoliosis. It's all crooked.
A
Yeah.
B
You want to get straightened out, pal?
A
Yeah.
B
You got to come see us, the bad friends. And let me tell you something.
A
Yeah, tell them.
B
Let me tell you something. If I catch you listening to Bad Bunny. If I get you listening to. You're going down. All right, let's. She better call back.
A
You better call back to New World.
B
Now. We're living in a time.
A
Tell us.
B
We're living in a time when someone like Rudy, oh, wise one, flippantly, flippantly. Talks about drugs and tit pier stuff and her friends, imagine what they're doing when they're not joking around. Haha. This is funny because. Haha. Podcast now.
A
I'm being real. Let's be real. Yeah, you're playing the devil's game.
B
You're playing the devil's game.
A
And you're playing right into his hand.
B
Yeah.
A
Like this, Right, Rudy, Devil's game. He whispers in your ear. Okay. Yeah.
B
You're playing the devil's game.
A
You are.
C
No.
B
Yes.
A
Yeah, you are.
B
You are.
A
Okay.
C
Oh, yeah, we just smoke sometimes.
B
Wait a minute. Did you get your boob pierced when you were stoned on marijuana or drunk on alcohol?
C
No.
B
Liar. You were sober.
C
Yeah.
B
Come 100.
A
100.
C
No, 100.
B
So you. You went to the tattoo parlor, you walked in, you lifted your shirt up, you put your tit out, and you let some. So creepy devil man.
A
Was it a man or woman that did it?
C
A guy.
A
Wait, wait. A guy, right? You're 14.
C
I'm 24. I'm 24.
B
You're 24. Still. Some man slid a needle through your breast in front of other people and you think, fun time Saturday night.
C
Yeah, I don't mind showing my boobs.
B
Ugh.
A
Oh my God, Rudy. How did he hold it?
C
What?
A
How did he hold it.
C
He just did that and then he stuck the needle.
B
I don't.
A
He hates women.
B
Yes. Yes, yes. He's a misogynist. He's a misogynist. Any guy out there that's willing to deform a woman's breast is a misogynist. And this man. Amen in this man.
C
I gave him consent.
A
Okay.
B
Yeah. Because you felt pressure because of a power struggle.
A
Hillary made you do it.
B
Hillary. Hillary.
A
Yes. You kept on.
C
No.
A
Are you sure?
C
No, I got bored.
A
People are doing it.
B
Yep.
A
You want to be a real American?
B
American, Bobby.
A
Real American. Right.
B
Do you want to be a real American? Can you see? Let me tell you. Does Hillary have her breast pierced?
C
No, she didn't.
B
Okay, so. So does anyone in the circle have their boob pierced?
C
No, just me.
B
Why did you?
A
Yeah.
B
Why are you the ringleader?
C
Because I got bored. So I told her, let's go to the tattoo shop, get a hobby.
B
Get a hobby? Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
Play jacks, curling, cards.
A
Yeah. Something.
B
Darts, shuffleboard. There's so many other neck knacky things you can do.
C
Yeah, but this is fun, too.
B
No, that's.
A
Are you gonna get a tattoo?
B
She is.
A
Let me guess, a pentagram.
B
Yep. No.
A
Yep. What is the devil's game?
B
Devil's.
C
I want, like, my whole back.
B
What do you want on your whole body? I don't know.
C
But something also on my chest, like a tribal.
A
Oh, my God. What?
B
Hawaii's got her, man.
A
Yeah, it's Hawaii.
B
It's gonna be.
A
Yeah, yeah. No, your aunts. I used to date one of them. Correct.
B
Yeah.
A
Right? She's got tribal tattoos.
C
Yeah.
A
And it made her crazy. That's why I'm no longer with her.
B
That's right.
A
You're right there. Yeah.
B
That's Kalila. That's Kalila. Yeah.
A
Yeah, that's Kalila right there.
B
That was a picture of Kalila when they were going out. When she was going out. That was when she was heavy.
A
Have you seen the news?
B
Hillary. Hillary, answer.
A
Get it.
B
I'm excited.
C
Hillary, until. Andrew wants to talk to you.
A
Oh, no.
B
Hillary.
C
Yes.
B
What are you doing?
A
I'm home.
B
You sound like you're on drugs.
A
Are you on drugs, Hillary?
C
I don't do drugs.
A
Oh, you don't smoke marijuana?
B
You don't smoke marijuana? Never heard of that in my life. Really?
A
All right, so when Jules is smoking it, she does it herself.
C
Yeah, I do it by myself.
B
Hillary.
C
Yes?
B
Do you smoke drugs with Jules?
C
Sometimes.
A
Why'd you lie to us?
B
Did you influence her? No, I influenced her. Did you influence her to smoke marijuana, Hillary. You. Are you dating some pothead that drives a souped up Honda Civic? Is that what you're doing? And he's going around town with a loud muffler? Is that the guy that you're hooking up with? Taking her to tattoo parlors, getting her tits pierced? Did you convince her to get her titty pierced? I did not. Did. Who else got their tit pierced in the group?
C
Me.
A
Okay, Hillary. Hillary. Give it to me.
B
Hillary.
A
Hillary. It's Uncle Bob.
B
I'm livid right now.
A
Did you see. Can I talk for a second?
B
I'm pissed.
A
Yeah, I'm pissed, too, dude. I'm so pissed. Did you see Avatar Fire and Ash? You didn't?
C
No.
A
Well, instead of going to the beach and doing drugs, why don't you go watch that movie? I'm just giving you options. What else you could do? You know what I mean? Right?
B
Well, it was just a girl.
A
Did you see Melania? Great documentary.
B
Great documentary.
A
Is it not great? Oh, say can you see?
B
Wait, you should go watch Melania.
A
Melania.
B
It's very good.
A
It teaches you about work ethic. It teaches about principles and immigration. And immigration.
B
Immigration.
A
Yeah, yeah. And also shoes. You like shoes, Hillary?
B
Yeah.
A
Okay, good.
B
So she got her boob pierced, too. You lied.
A
Yeah.
B
You also got your tit pierced, Hillary.
C
No, I'm just kidding. I didn't.
A
No.
B
Okay, funny joke.
A
That's funny joke.
C
I got a tattoo instead.
B
What tattoo?
A
The tattoo.
C
A fairy. A fairy.
B
Oh, you mean. You mean a satanic symbol?
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
Because fairies look up fairies. Satanic symbol.
A
You're into Smurfs as well. Smurfs are satanic.
B
Smurfs are also satanic.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
A fairy has a. There is no singular official fairy satanic symbol. But yeah, but yeah, horned goat horn, goat headed baphomet. Symbol of the Church of Satan.
C
It's not goat.
B
It's a trickster fairy puck.
A
Wait a minute. It might not be a fairy. Is it Clay Aiken? Because he's a fury too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Or yeah, it could be Ricky Martin.
A
It could be Ricky Martin.
B
He was on the halftime show.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
Acorns.
A
I think investing is cool.
B
Here's why it's important, all right? Everybody has to have their goals, and everybody's goals are going to be unique and different. And everybody thinks, oh, I'm not going to get into investing unless I have X amount of dollars. You can start with nothing. I'm telling you, acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow.
A
You can start off with like a hundred dollars.
B
Doesn't matter, you start with anything.
A
It's a smart way. Like you said, Acorns grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down. Acorn supports your big and small goals across every life stage.
B
See the Acorns potential screen shows you the power of compounding and how your money could grow over time. Plus you can quickly adjust how much you're investing every day, week or month to take. Make sure that you're building towards your goals. You can change, right? Say you put in a bunch. Take a little bit less this month because you have other expenditures and Acorns is all in one. No more finance apps cluttering up your phone with Acorns. You can invest, save and give your money a chance to grow in one trusted place.
A
Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus. Investment join the over 14 million all time customers have already saved invested over $27 billion with Acorns.
B
Head acorns.com bad friends or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive deposit promote acorns tier 2 compensation provide a potential subject to various factors such as customers accounts, age and investment settings. Does not include Acorns fees Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio investment Results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor review important disclosures@acorns.com bad friends hello.
A
Fresh Nothing hits home like home cooking. Right Andrew?
B
That's right babe.
A
And HelloFresh makes it easy to do more of it this year with recipes that feel good and taste delicious. Night after night after night after night.
B
Night after night after night and day after day you can get yourself some delicious HelloFresh morning after morning. You know why? Because HelloFresh you can choose from more than 35 high protein recipes each week including new Mediterranean and GLP1 friendly options. Like you.
A
I love it.
B
That's right.
A
Feel great with wholesome ingredients like sustainably sourced seafood and 100 antibiotic and hormone free chicken.
B
HelloFresh has been sending us meals for years now. We do love them very much and the best part about them to me is how quick and simple and easy it is that even dumbos like us can do it. You can too. They're phenomenal. They're simple and they're delicious and easy. You gotta try HelloFresh. Go to hellofresh.com badfriends10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free Zwilling knife. Oh, you love Zwilling knives.
A
I have four of them at home, but I need a new one.
B
Well, and that's 144.99 value.
A
Yeah.
B
On your third box, offer validation while supplies last, free meals applied as a discount on the first box of new subscribers only. It's going to vary by plan.
C
This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Okay, she has to go.
A
Okay, she has to go. Bye, Hillary.
B
Thanks for the drugs.
A
Okay. I mean, we are so concerned.
B
You're hanging out with drug addicts and influencers who think that they're going to be famous online. Yeah. So they're piercing their tits. They're getting tattoos. Look at. Do any of your friends have these tattoos? These are satanic symbols.
C
No.
B
This looks familiar to me, pal. Time's running out on you.
A
If you pick out one of those tattoos, we'll all three get them at the same time. It's got to be one of those, though.
B
The one in the top right looks like the medical symbol for, like, an em.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
We should do a lip tattoo.
B
What is that?
A
Oh, what do you want to say?
B
Yeah, what do you want to say?
A
Yeah. I don't know exactly.
B
Yeah, you got to figure it out.
C
You're a baby girl.
B
Oh, that's a terrible idea. Yeah.
A
Whoa.
B
A little stegosaurus. Thought about that a lot. Wild. I don't like that. You know what's really funny, My friend Hillary.
A
Wait, what does it say?
B
Killed. Kissed by you. Killed by you, my friend Hillary, 40 years later at.
A
Grandma. What's that? Grandma, what does that say on your lip?
B
This says, I heart BBC Daddy. That one says Daddy. That's awful.
A
That's awful.
B
My friend Hillary, who you guys met when we had Guy Fieri here, has Flavortown inside of her lip.
A
Well, she was made to do that.
B
Yeah, that was her thing. Yeah, no, but. But honestly, flavor tongue, this.
A
You need to get educated girl into America.
B
You need to stop with the tit piercings and get educated.
A
Yeah. Stop watching Euphoria. That's a bad influence. Euphoria.
B
Well, that's the problem. That's what they're doing.
A
That's what they're doing. Watching Euphoria. What are they watching?
B
And they're probably watching. They're probably watching Heated rivalry.
A
Heated rivalry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Just gay stuff.
C
I love heated. Right?
B
Yeah.
A
You.
C
Yeah, you also love it, too.
B
No, he doesn't.
A
I did.
B
Like. It's gay propaganda.
A
I did love it.
B
Yeah.
C
Yeah, that.
B
Look at the song in the middle of the show. Gay is cool. Gay is the way. Be gay. Hey, hey, hey. That's the middle of the show. They just break out in a song.
A
I didn't see that part.
B
Really? Oh, yeah, I saw it.
A
I saw it a couple times.
B
It's cool. Gay is the way. Just gay propaganda.
A
What was that? Church, when he goes, Celibacy is cool. What is that?
B
Celibacy is cool.
A
Although all the kids were like, yeah.
B
Don'T have sex. Just cast checks.
A
I don't want that video.
B
Celibacy is cool.
A
Is that celibacy? Yeah.
B
Virginity is cool.
A
Virginity cool. Yeah.
B
Virginity is cool.
A
Virginity. Let's watch that.
B
Come on, come on.
A
Virginity is cool. Come on, come on. Virginity is cool. Come on, come on. Virginity is cool. Come on, come on. Virginity is cool. Come on, come on. Virginity is cool. Come on, come on. They do look cool. Yeah.
B
Yeah. Imagine this is looping in your head as you're hanging yourself.
A
Virginity is cool.
B
Come on.
A
Virginity is.
B
And you know what? Virginity is cool.
A
It is cool.
B
And here's why.
A
Yeah.
B
Because you know who. You know what virgins don't do? Pierce their teeth. Smoke pot at the beach.
A
Amen.
B
Like a fucking deviant. Like a devil. Per. Like a little devil person. And that's what the devil does. He goes, come on, Rudy. Come to the beach with your tits pierced and smoke pot by the water. I'm telling you, we are disappointed in you as our daughter. It really bugs me because we wanted you to blossom into, like, a young woman with goals. With. With. With.
C
I'm going to school.
B
Bullshit.
A
She is going to school.
C
I'm doing my masters.
A
But tell them what you're.
B
What are you mastering?
A
Yeah.
C
Environmental health.
B
Fake.
A
It's fake.
B
Fake. Oh, this tree is sick.
A
Look at this planet. So gray, falling apart.
B
Fake. That's fake. Shit.
C
It is, but.
B
Yeah, but. Go get them. Go get these Titanic.
A
Plates are shifting. What do we do?
B
Nothing.
A
Nothing.
B
We can't do shit.
A
They're going to shift when they shift. It might not, right? Earthquakes or whatnot. You can't stop it.
B
Quakes are going to quake. Quake be quaking.
A
Yeah.
B
El Nino is coming back next year and you can't do about it.
A
There's nothing you can do about it. You're going to fix that?
C
I'm not going to fix it.
B
Okay, so what's the.
A
What's the fucking. What do you do as you're with your masters?
C
I don't know. I'm still learning.
B
It's my first.
C
It's my first week.
A
You just picked it out of the chart. How did you pick. You don't know anything about it.
B
Yeah, dude.
A
Okay. The first day of class. What do they say?
C
I don't even know.
B
Well, fuck, we're done.
A
You're not going to class, are you? I am.
B
No.
A
Where are you going? I am going to class.
B
She's going to the beach.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
Smoking, weeding, with her tits pierced. At the beach. You pig.
A
Pig.
B
Let me say something to you. How many classes are you taking? How many classes are required? Three classes. What are they called?
C
One is occupational health, one is microbiome.
B
That's cool.
C
Something also risk.
B
Something also risk.
A
Good.
B
I'm glad you. I'm glad you're paying attention to something. Risk. A key word to something. You want to know what's going on. Something also risk.
C
Occupational something. Risk.
B
Occupational hazardous risk.
C
Something like that.
B
I'm telling you honestly, that's a master.
A
You need.
B
That is a master's.
C
The microbiology is cool.
B
Give me something you learn in microbiology.
C
Prions in your head, they make you really sick and can be technical, technically called virus. And like the pregnant women that likes to eat, that has cravings of like dirt.
B
Wait a minute. Pregnant women that want to eat dirt, like craves dirt.
C
That's because they also have some kind of prion.
B
Pregnant women crave dirt. Look at Fancy. He's losing his shit.
A
Where were you three years ago?
B
Go into all. Hold on, let me see. Zoom in. Craving dirt during pregnancy. Condition known as pica. Oh, Eating disorder involving urges to consume non food items like soil, clay, ice, laundry starch. This is nutritional deficiencies such as iron or zinc. So this is real. So what'd you call it? Prion.
C
That's what my professor.
B
Well, it's pica. We say it's known as pica, primarily linked to deficiency. So women are out there just eating?
C
Yeah, they crave it. They want to like eat it.
B
Yeah, we see. This is why we have.
A
Do you crave dirt?
C
No, I'm not pregnant.
A
Okay.
B
Yeah, you better. You better.
A
Andrea, did your wife crave dirt?
B
Yeah, I didn't know what it was.
A
Why are you going to the garden every day, sweetie? Flowers out there.
B
Your wife was doing laundry and eating laundry at the same time while your daughter was being born.
A
Wow.
B
Wait, did your wife have any crazy urges when she was pregnant?
A
Not really. No.
B
But eating dirt is. Except for that. Yeah, she was eating a lot of dirt. Well, your house is made of clay, so that is. That does work out. That's pretty good. Six year badiversary, by the way. And I want to say thank you to all the fans. Let's take two seconds to say thank you to all the fans for your loyalty, for your fanship. We appreciate you, we love you. You've been along for the. For the ride. And here's something interesting. Look at this.
A
My life. My life would not be the way it is now without your. My fans.
B
No, it's our greatest.
A
Thank you so much for your support. And we really love you. So thank you.
B
I'm being genuine.
A
I am, too.
B
And look at. We brought.
A
We.
B
We met.
A
Brought, you idiot. When she was in High School.
B
18 years old.
A
Yeah, she was 18.
B
She came on the show as your liaison to make sure that you didn't go get cigarettes or go to food. And you did anyway.
A
I did anyway.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And here we are six years later with the crew. Added McCone and added Carlos. Actually, the original crew is us. And fans.
A
Yep. Do you remember the first episode you did?
C
Yeah. I was so scared.
A
You were scared?
B
Yeah. God.
A
But at the time, no one was listening, though, were they? We were at that other. The old place.
B
Old studio over there.
A
That old.
B
Rudy's first appearance on Bad Friends. Rudy Giuliana. Rudy Jules first appeared on the Bad friends podcast early 2020. Recurring guest of a beloved figure early in the show's run, she frequently appeared in many of the earliest episodes. Her presence became established as a staple rather than a single formal guest debut episode. Even AI knows how. How important you are to the show. But does AI know you're piercing your tits, smoking pot by the beach? Probably not.
A
It's gonna be in your wiki, I'll tell you that right now.
B
Yeah. What did you got? What is that? That you show us? What is that? Oh.
A
Oh. Incoming messages.
B
Incoming messages. Incoming. Hey, just want to say congratulations.
A
Hello to Andrew and Bobby on six.
B
Years of Bad Friends.
A
Look at how tight my face is in this small little hood. What? Not as small as Bobby's eyes.
B
Hello, bad Friends. Congratulations on six years. Y' all are my favorite podcast to go on. Thank you to Carlos, Andrew, Rudy, Fancy, and McCone. And no thank you to Bobby. Just kidding. Thank you. Bobby is awesome. But I was just doing a playful roast. Hey, I want to wish the Bad Friends podcast congratulations.
A
She's still alive, buddy.
B
I love you. Give me my booty call next week. And also, Bobby Lee, look at that dildo on the background here. A brand new me and I'm forgiven and everything like that. Bye to your stupid ice. God damn. Love you guys.
A
I'll kill you, lady. She really does it. Bobby, Andrew, Congratulations of Bad Friends. Trying to figure out a gift to get you that really kind of celebrates who you are and just how unique Bad Friends is. I think this hits it. There you go. Happy six year anniversary. Oh, my God.
B
Congratulations on achieving this.
A
Amazing.
B
Is he detained? Is this in a.
A
You all know this by now.
B
He's been deported.
A
Finally, one podcast on the whole planet.
B
Joe Rogan, who, as far as I.
A
Know, I haven't experienced a single episode yet.
B
So let's keep it going and thank.
A
You for being a bad friend.
B
I love him.
A
I love him. God, I miss him. I was able to go 30 seconds without making fun of Andrew. Amazing.
B
Oh, you love this guy. Damn. Hey, Tino and Bobby. Shy guy. I just wanted to wish you guys a Congratulations. 6. Six years of bad friends. Way to go, guys. Big congrats. And this is a little off topic, but when I was a kid, my dad used to duct tape me to the basement wall and throw darts at me. So have a great happy anniversary. Wow. Amazing, guys.
A
Blessing. It's a blessing.
B
How do you feel?
C
Good.
B
Six years later. Six years later now let's talk about.
A
What this did for your life. Bad friends.
B
Yeah. Changed your life.
A
I know you made a list of 20 things. So go ahead. Go ahead.
B
Yeah, I got 25.
A
Yeah, yeah, she said 20.
B
Oh, wow.
A
So let's start with you. 20 things helped you and helped your life.
B
Very good.
C
Friends.
B
Yeah.
C
Family.
A
What? It's.
B
It's a list.
A
Well, it's helping you. Can I help?
C
No. I'll just say one.
A
Go ahead.
C
I think it made me really confident. I think it made me not think too much about what people think. It made me feel just like it's okay if I have an accent, it's okay if I. I don't know, sound stupid.
B
It's.
C
It's okay. And I feel like it really helped me just be comfortable with myself.
A
Oh, my God. I think that's. That really is true.
B
I think you become more yourself than anything.
A
That almost made me cry since the.
B
Day that you cleaned that knife. I think something clicked.
A
No. Because I saw her perform in the main room.
B
Yeah.
A
Comedy Store. Yeah. Now I'm being real.
C
Yeah.
A
And I slid in the back and I saw Jules on stage, and she was so natural.
B
She was doing it.
A
Yeah, yeah. She was on stage. I mean, that's a legendary, huge, intimidating room.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Right? And there. And like, if you think six years ago, there's no way she'd been able to do that.
B
No.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
Bad friends changed. Changed all of our lives, but changed your life, truly. You, like, became your own. Confident, you know, A little.
A
I know.
B
Yeah.
A
On the edge.
B
A little edgy.
A
On the edge.
B
You know, not everyone goes, I don't talk to anybody. Six years later, I'm tit. I'm piercing my tits.
A
Yeah.
B
But I am proud.
A
Yeah.
B
That you become your own. And. And also, this takes. We want to take the opportunity to tell you that it's time. Time for you to move out. Yeah.
A
Yeah. So we're ready up till Friday.
B
So you're gonna leave.
A
You're gonna move out of the house.
C
You dogs.
B
Don't worry about the dogs.
A
Gonna go to the pound. Yeah. Well, half of them, they're gonna put to sleep, right?
B
Yeah.
A
And then some of them are gonna take it to the bottom. Yeah, I know. Actually, there's one guy named Tran who's gonna take it. One other dog.
B
Tron.
A
Tron, yeah. Vingtron.
B
Tron is Train.
A
He has a restaurant.
B
Yeah, Yeah.
A
I don't know what he's gonna do with the dog, but anyway, Trentron, that's Remy. Remy's gonna go to the Tran. Yeah, yeah. And so out by Friday. Yeah. And all of it. I want my car back.
B
Yeah, okay.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Dude, you really have had a great run.
A
It's a good run.
B
It's been nice. But you're done.
A
How about you? What about your.
B
My experience of six years? Incredible. Shopify.
A
You know what? We have an online business. Without Shopify, we have nothing. We have nothing. We have zero. We have nil.
B
That's right.
A
Right. We love Shopify.
B
We do. And you can get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. We've been selling with Shopify for a long time now. They're so fully integrated. They make everything seamless and simple. And if you haven't heard about Shopify, where you live in, they help you get your customers easy to run email and social media campaigns. They make everything simple in one place.
A
Accelerate your efficiency.
B
That's right.
A
Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines and even enhance your product photography.
B
Yeah, they can tackle all this important task in one place. From inventory to payments to analytics, and much, much more. There's no need to save multiple websites to try to figure out what platform is hosting the tool that you need. They got it all in one place. And also did we mention the iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Also helps boost conversions, meaning less carts are going to go abandoned and more sales for you.
A
It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify.
B
Today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com bad friends go to shopify.com bad friends that is shopify.com bad.
A
Friends Marsman I love Mars Men because I need more testosterone.
B
Your tea is dropping.
A
Yeah, I have two of them. I need more.
B
Oh, there's only two T's left. Yes. Oh, Titi.
A
Yeah.
B
Going to the new year. Hey man. We want to turn the clock back a little bit. That's why we have natural testosterone support here from Mars Men. It's a dietary supplement and has so much good stuff. There's no synthetics, no needles and no dependency. It's like hitting the reset button on your hormone factory as well because by the way, yeah, this has boosted me in the bedroom a little bit. Got a little bit exciting.
A
I love it, dude. Marsman gives you the same benefits of optimized testosterone. Energy, strength, focus without shutting your body down.
B
That's right. It's made in the USA, by the way, and third party tested. It's a 90 day money back guarantee. There's no risk. Worst case, you don't absolutely love it. You're going to get your money back. But over 91% of users report higher energy levels. I do. I do feel much better on it. Thousands of guys are feeling incredible results. Check out the reviews on the website and you can see for yourself. This natural testosterone support is going to help you with a ton of vitamin D and Turing. They also got Tongat Ali and and I got Shilajit. Yeah, they got a bunch of good stuff in this. And for a limited time, our listeners get 50 off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts@ Mengotomars.com it's a perfect Way to kick off the new year strong. That's mengotomars.com for 50% off and three free gifts when you check out.
A
After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you.
B
We sent you to Mars. The friendships I've gained from this show, like the love that we've got from this show, the people that I've earned from this show that I've gained. The fanship. The fans are unreal. I think it's the coolest thing we've ever done. The. The. I've said this before, I'm going to be corny, but I. But this changed my life in the best way, in a way that I could never have dreamed or. Or even hoped for. It was the greatest. It's been the greatest moment in my career. And if. And if this is the greatest thing I ever do, that's awesome for me. If I never do anything bigger, better, more impactful in the comedy world. This has been the greatest thing that's ever happened in my career by a landslide. It brought you and I closer as friends, as brothers. It. It. I don't know, it just did something for me that I'll never, ever, ever be able to top. No matter what it is. That's a fact. I'll never be able to top this. The most fun. It's the most fun I've ever had in my entire life. It's been the best ride, so hopefully that'll be amazing.
A
Is it my turn? Could do the gratitude thing.
B
Sorry, man. I'm sorry.
A
I went on and on.
B
Sorry. I apologize. Go ahead.
A
It was a good ride, man. That's all I have to say, man. Good ride.
B
Yeah. What are you, Johnny Depp?
A
What are you doing?
B
Yeah, dude, Are you tweaking out?
A
Hey, man, we fucking did it, dude.
B
This changed your career. This changed your career.
A
What career did. What's up, man? I'm free.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you imagine what this life would be like without bad friends for you? Not as good.
A
Well, not as good.
B
Dude, how fucking insane what you went through Friday, your dad dying, a relationship ending.
A
I can't do my gratitude.
B
Sit down, man. Are you still on Wegovy?
A
I know.
B
You gotta increase the dosage.
A
I quit taking it three weeks ago.
B
I know. Well, because I can tell. It's wiggling.
A
I know. Yeah. It's wiggling so fast.
B
Well, because comes back so fast. Immediately.
A
Immediately.
B
Because I saw the Wegovy commercial in the super bowl and I said, bobby's on that. And somebody goes still? And I go, I don't know.
A
Yeah, I don't think so.
B
It's changing.
A
It's changing.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a return of rapid return of appetite, increased cravings and for most users, significant weight regain.
A
It's cereal. For me, it's the best at 4 in the morning.
B
What is it?
A
I do three different now kinds. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
B
What are they? What are the kinds?
A
Okay, so I do.
B
What's Bobby Lee's trip?
A
We already talked about the life. Cinnamon. Cinnamon Life. What? Yeah. Golden Grams. You're probably gonna like. You're not gonna like thin.
B
First two are good.
A
All right. Right. Frosted Mini Wheats.
B
Get.
A
Get out.
B
Get out. What are you. What are you, 60?
A
Yeah. Almost 64. Yeah.
B
And.
A
And then sometimes I do Cocoa Pebbles. Love. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
What's your favorite cereals? 3. If you had to combine three cereals, what do you eat?
C
In the Philippines, we had.
B
Here we go. We have b.
A
We have Bat Guano Crunch.
C
Coco Crunch.
A
Oh, yeah. Cocoa Crunch.
B
Coco Crunch.
C
It was just the Milo one to the Milo.
B
Milo. We love Milo.
A
It was just mud, but it was. We call it Coco for crunch.
B
Little balls of mud, that one.
C
Coco Crunch.
A
Oh, it's different than our Cocoa Crunch. It's still Nestle, though.
B
Yeah. It's gotta be good.
A
Yeah.
B
Cocoa Crunch for you.
C
And Fruit Loops.
B
Fruit Loop.
A
Fruit Loops. Yeah.
B
Is it a toucan or a bat?
A
Do you remember when Froot Loops was a. A Mandela effect?
B
The bur.
A
Don't look it up.
B
Drives me nuts. Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
Well, it's like I learned today.
A
Yeah. How. How do you know what Froot Loops. How they spell Froot Loops?
C
Froot Loop.
B
Yeah. Very good.
A
Very good.
B
Six years, you know, cruising. Yeah.
A
What is it? Fruit? Yeah.
B
F, R. F, R, U, I.
A
No. Oh, oh.
B
F, R, O, O, T, L, O, P. Fruit Loop. It's how you guys would say fruit loop.
A
Fruit.
B
Fruit loop. Look, it's Fruit loop. It's not spelled like fruit. It's spelled fruit. Fruit loop.
A
Look at that. Do you know that?
C
No.
A
It's a Mandela effect. You know what a Mandela effect is?
C
Some people think it's like a different way and some people think it's something else.
B
You remember it. You think you remember it one way, but it actually was never that way. There's one that me up today. I just watched a Mandela thing on Tik Tok today. Crazy. You brought it up. Up. Suspenders. Suspenders or not on Mickey Mouse.
A
Yes.
B
Look it up right now. Mickey Mouse. Suspenders. He never had suspenders, but I remember.
A
Wow.
B
Him having suspenders.
A
Okay, I got one.
B
I got one for you. Hold on. I got another one that's going to.
A
Can I do one now?
B
No. Yeah, please. Give me.
A
You're the Curious George.
B
The monkey.
A
Does he have a tail or no tail?
B
He's gotta have a tail. Does he have a tail?
A
Yeah, look it up.
B
He does.
A
Yeah, look it up.
B
Wait. Because you tricked me. Because my mind was gonna say, maybe he doesn't have a tail.
A
He does.
B
Wait. He does not have a tail.
A
He doesn't have a tail.
B
When he's walking with the guy, he doesn't have a tail. That guy. Wow. He doesn't.
A
He doesn't have a tail.
B
Did the park ranger take it? Yeah. Oh, wait, zoom in.
A
Yeah.
C
Is he a gorilla?
B
Zoom in. Zoom in.
A
Yeah, like a gorilla.
C
A baby.
B
Look what he has. Yeah, he's got his nipple pierced. Probably a pot smoker.
A
You know, the tails jammed in his ass.
B
He tucks it. Yeah. He's a tucker.
A
Give me a Mandela.
B
The Monopoly Man.
A
Yeah.
B
Ask me who he's running with. A bag of money.
A
Yeah.
B
Monocle. No monocle.
A
No monocle.
B
Interesting.
A
Yeah, no monocle.
B
Look it up. Monocle or no come. Monocle. What do you say?
A
Think. No.
B
So he never had one. That image of him running with a bag of money.
A
Yeah.
B
See the one right there? That. The right one. That. For some reason, people all thought he had a monocle.
A
I did, too, until I looked up. I know all the Mandela facts.
B
Oh, you know, that's why I said, see? But he used to have a cane. Yeah, but he never had a cane in this image. The cane was years later. He actually never had a cane in the original image.
A
I always thought he had a monocle.
B
I know. I thought he did, too. That's Mr. Peanut. Yeah, Mr. Peanut looks very similar.
A
Can I do my gratitude list?
B
Yeah, do gratitude, please. Will you do it right now?
A
All right. So. So when we went to the premiere, you know me, you know, we went. And there was like. It was at the Century City Mall. Right.
B
What a weird place.
A
And there was like. That's those sea of kids.
B
You remember Boys and Girls Club.
A
Boys and Girls. And when I came out, the place went crazy.
B
Yeah.
A
Chanting my name.
B
Yeah.
A
And it's all from Bad Friends.
B
Well, it's every. Your whole career.
A
But no, it. No, but it was essentially the last seven years of my life.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. Which is. This has been a big part of. You know, it's. I remember when I. After Mad, Paulie told me, dude, you're never gonna make it, dude. Yeah. He goes, dude, if Mad didn't do it, dude, nothing's gonna do it, dude.
B
What an.
A
And now. And then, now he's. Now he says, you made it, dude.
B
Okay.
A
Yeah. I mean, so it's like you could just kind of feel. It's just. You could feel it in the. In the wind, in the.
B
In the streets a long time ago.
A
No, no, I. I don't think so, dude.
B
But bad friends solidified. The little kids, the little kids from Boys and Girls Club. Holy shit.
A
Because I remember you. You were signing their shirts and they lost their mind.
B
For Bobby, it was. It was so funny, man. They were like. It was. It was fandom. And you're talking kids like, they never saw MAD TV. Like they weren't alive. These are. These are 9 to 12 year old kids. But they were losing their minds. They were having so much fucking fun. It was cool.
A
You don't believe us? No, I believe him. I'm here for all of this. You can thank us for this fame.
B
Whoa.
A
Like, you just show up and sit down for 90 minutes. But a lot goes into it. So this is what you do. This is what you do. All right.
B
He does it.
A
I do that.
B
That's what you do. That's the booper.
A
I'm basically. I'm basically your manager, dude. What you do, do. This is what you do. Yeah. Come at 6.
B
Why don't you thank. Why don't you give some gratitude, fans, for the six?
A
Yeah. You three have some gratitude. Let's.
B
Well, no, no, no. Let's hear Fancy. Most importantly, he was here from the very, very beginning.
A
Beginning. There's. There's not a better middleman than you.
B
Thank you. I think I get.
A
That's cuz. Remember in. In London, I had a dream once. No. And that dream is. And thanks to it's not dead.
B
Just like Martin Luther King. I had a dream and it was like, what can I aspire to?
A
And it's like, can I be the better middleman? And you made it through.
B
Thank you. Oh, shit. You feel good? Feel good, dude. You deserve it, man.
A
You're the best middleman, dude.
B
You're the best middle ever. Okay, Carlos. Words of affirmation, words of wisdom, words of peace, words of grace.
A
Best job ever. My first job in LA was driving escorts, and my last one is working with y' all here.
B
And I love it kind of the same. Yeah. Pretty close.
A
So thank you, Bobby. Thank you, Andrew. I appreciate it. Thanks for Having me on. I saw. I came on episode 87.
B
87. That was your first. Yeah. Wow.
A
So it's awesome to still be. I feel like you've been here forever. Like since the beginning.
B
Well, essentially. Right. Because. What, what, what, 52 weeks. Right. So he did within the beginning of the second season. Second year is when he came on. No, the only reason he didn't come on earlier is because we were on a restrictive cast. Because Covet. Covet. We couldn't.
A
Oh, that's right.
B
Nobody want. We couldn't have people at the studio.
A
Yeah.
B
Who was.
A
Who was doing. It was just you. Right.
B
It was just Fancy alone in a stairs. Well, I remember under the stairs. And then. And then George would come. Sometimes we kick him out fast.
A
Pete then came.
B
Then Pete came.
A
Pete.
B
Remember Pete?
A
I love Pete.
B
Throw croissants at him. Yeah, Remember that? You throw croissants at him. You call him Peter Chocolate. He'd go, Peter Chocolat. You throw a chocolate Pete. We love Petey. Yeah, Petey. And George would come on and then after. After Covid wiggled its way away from our psyche when we were sick of the. That's when he joined. And McCone, you're a newbie. You're only two.
A
It's coming up on three.
B
This will be the third year.
A
Wow.
B
When Stickler was on. That was the first time I was here mentioned.
A
Yeah. You came in in that tough year.
B
Tough. Yeah.
A
That was a tough year.
B
It was hard.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
There's a lot going on.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
You're. We're grateful to have you gu along for this ride. McCone and Carlos and Fancy. And also you. The jewels. Also the jewels. More than anything.
A
We've had great guests.
B
Yeah. It's been crazy.
A
Yeah. We've had. Last couple years. We've had great guests.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
When they said Jack Black wanted to do the show, I was like.
A
We had Cena.
B
Has he seen the show?
A
John Cena.
B
Yeah. And Efron Nuts. The. The world has been crazy. And we're going to continue to the show for the fans because it's the most fun we've ever had. It is by far.
A
Yeah.
B
And I do think I'm making a slight prediction, but the fall of. The fall of 2027, which is a full year and some half away, we'll do a Bad Friends global tour.
A
Really?
B
Yeah.
A
The last one. Our last one.
B
Our last tour together. I think we'll do one big.
A
The last one. Supposed to be our last one.
B
Yeah.
A
But we'll do one Final.
B
Well, that's what all good bands do.
A
Yeah. You know, you have to. You have to be on tour with us. Yeah, you do.
B
You really do.
A
You do.
B
It's only fair.
C
Can we go to the Philippines?
B
Yeah, yeah. If we can sell tickets.
A
Yeah.
B
And also, fancy has to come. Are you working on another baby? Be honest. Because we can't take you if you have another kid. So if you have another kid, you gotta. You can't because we're childless, you know?
A
Yeah.
B
We're sloths of the street. We're child. We're childless trash. Yeah.
A
It's better for you guys. Focus on work.
B
Oh, is that facetious? You being a smart ass? You just got a citizenship, dude. Don't make us take it away. You better calm down. Okay?
A
You guys showed up for my special.
B
I remember you did.
A
That was really sweet.
B
Powerful.
A
Now you guys were backstage and, you know, I thought that, you know, you can. You can get in your head and go, oh, that was bad. Or whatever, because, you know, you, you know, you get off stage, you're like, I could have done this better. This and that. And then you guys were like, no, that was, you know, I mean, I just. The affirmation and made it clear I believed you when you guys said that. It's good. I believed you. Sometimes I don't believe comics.
B
Well, it's.
A
That I got. Yes.
B
No comics. No. But these guys are. These guys. These guys are our. Our friends. And they'll tell you the truth. They're not on stage every night, you know?
A
Yeah.
B
So they. They really mean it when they say it. Finally.
A
Finally. Yep.
B
Finally.
A
It's not really etched in stone. We can think about another one.
B
I think finally is so good, but I think it's finally.
A
You think so final.
B
Too easy.
A
I don't like playing on word. Really. I don't. That's kind of like another punny.
B
That's what we do here at this show.
A
I know, but I'm not in my own personal life of punny pun.
B
No, Finally. Finally is very. It's very poignant. Anyway, just finally.
A
Nothing's finally.
B
Yeah, it's beautiful.
A
Yeah.
B
I'll say this. What's really going to happen is. Tell us the year will be met with great strife and struggle. A lot of wild going on right now.
A
It's already bad now, though.
B
I know, but it's gonna chill out at the end of the year because people will be sick of the nonsense, I don't know. And they'll go, what do we need to break up the year? And they'll say, finally, Bobby Lee, it's been a long. It's been a long, wonderful, fun road.
A
When you re. Oh, yeah, okay.
B
I. I just remember that mo. That there's little tiny things that happen on the show that I'll never forget. You sang the joke of Thumble. Thumble is one of the funniest jokes she ever said. I laughed harder than I've ever left. In fact, we revisited tonight at my buddy Jim's house. We revisited because it will go vi. Ad came a commercial came on the Super Bowl. I said, bobby's on Wegovy. And I said, I remember when he was on Ozempic and he threw up for the promo for the Halloween episode two years ago.
A
Yeah.
B
And you puked right there in the front room.
A
Yeah.
B
And I laughed so fucking hard. I laughed. I couldn't stop laughing. I thought you were goofing around. When you were like, I don't feel good. I was like, you're being a bitch.
A
But at the time you weren't laughing thing.
B
Yeah, I was cracking up. You see in the.
A
You thought was this. I never laughed. Heard you laugh louder when I fell.
B
It's the funniest moment I've ever. I. When you fell in the roller skates is maybe one of the funniest.
A
Yeah.
B
No, but you throwing up in the hallway got me so good. Cuz the first couple times I was like, oh, no. But it kept coming. I couldn't stop laughing.
A
Dude, I was so sick, I had.
B
To walk in the other room.
A
Oh my God, I was so sick.
B
Yeah, but now look at you.
A
I know, but fat again?
B
No.
A
Yeah.
B
You're not fat again.
A
Yeah, I'm just getting rolls.
B
But you got off of wovi. Why'd you stop using it?
A
I just got so nauseous.
B
Dude, you were tired of the nausea.
A
I'm just. Yeah, but now I just got new medication for the nausea. But now I'm on LEX Pro.
B
So you're on an.
A
I'm on so many different things now. It's like, you know what I mean? So I'm like afraid to. Who's prescribing my psychiatrist?
B
Well, maybe you should change.
A
No, lexip's really working.
B
No, but Lex are.
A
I couldn't come the other night. That was the scary part.
B
I know, I remember. So Lexa Pro. Lexa Pro off. So Lexa Pro on. WOVI off.
A
Yeah.
B
Anti nausea medication on.
A
No, off. Off until I'm back on WeGovi.
B
When you go back, you can do it.
A
I think tomorrow is the Day you go back.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
It's, you know, it's, it's, it's like a low humming nausea. Right. It's like you're not going to vomit, but it's like a, kind of like a light sickness that's in your gut.
B
I don't like that.
A
Right. And you're just walking around with it bit and it's just like. I was just tired of that.
B
Yeah. You know, I'm back on creatine, which is crazy.
A
What's that?
B
Creatine. Creatine is a very long researched long use product you use for post exercise or. Well, I mean, I use post exercise. Some people do it pre. But it, I found out some of the health benefits of creatine outside of like muscle building and stuff for the brain. I used to take it when I was in college and I worked out a lot and then I studied, stopped. But then look out, the, the health, the brain benefits of creatine. It's actually amazing.
A
Do you need a prescription for that?
B
No, brother creatines you could buy at the store. It's just, you know, improve short term memory.
A
I mean, I'm on real medications and you brought up creatine like that was weird. I take vitamins.
B
All right.
A
It's like.
B
Well, I told you maybe, maybe you shouldn't be overly prescribed drugs.
A
Yeah, it's, it's a little startling because I now because I have, I'm on Ritalin.
B
Yeah. See, this is my thing is they want to throw everything at you.
A
I have so much. I have Ritalin now. Lexapro. Also a Tylenol.
B
Is your penis working?
A
No, I can get erect because of bluechew?
B
Yeah. Where is it?
A
It's not on the spaceship.
B
Do you have one of those little things that says Monday, Tuesday a bluechew?
A
No, no Monday, Bluetooth.
B
A pill case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pill case. You have a pill case?
A
No, but I have like a rock. Oh. I'm like, it's, it's a system.
B
Yeah. So it's a pill case.
A
Yeah.
B
But I just don't want to take a lot of pills anymore.
A
Yeah, I, I, you know what? I don't know if I need it.
B
I think if the Lexapro helps, that's good. Are you on any medication at all?
A
It is helping. I don't, Are you on it? Yeah, it, you know what? It stops some of the ruminating thoughts. Yep. Because I have these things that reoccur in my head, of course. And I'm in a mental nightmare.
B
What you're on Lexapro as well.
A
I've been on it for, like, five years now.
B
And on prep, right? You're on prep.
A
No, Although a doctor did recommend that to me once.
B
You.
A
She might be like, you should probably get into this.
B
You might get under prep.
A
Because you do. What is prep?
B
It's for gay people. Take. It's not for gay people. It's for people that have. Hi. People that are. That are at risk of getting HIV at a higher level.
A
Yeah. Huh?
B
I said gay people. You people. Your people.
A
Yeah. There's fun stuff that gets you.
B
That's what I'm saying. So you could catch hiv.
A
Wait, so if you take it, you. You're it.
B
You're. You can't get it.
A
You can't get it. It's preventative. Preventative. Yeah, but I haven't. I'm not on prep. I know, but what are the. What are the side effects of that?
B
Having too much fun at Hamburger Mary's on a Wednesday? Nausea, headache, diarrhea, fatigue, and abdominal pain. You already have those, so. Yeah. Thank you.
A
Yeah.
B
So what we want to say is thank you for being a bad friend.
A
D.
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Date: February 16, 2026
Notable Guests/Co-Hosts: Rudy Jules (“Rudy”)
Theme: Celebrating six years of the Bad Friends podcast, reflecting on fandom, friendship, and the chaos of their daily lives—with irreverent humor, heartfelt moments, and plenty of roasting.
This episode marks the six-year anniversary of Bad Friends, as Bobby and Andrew use the occasion to reminisce about the show’s origins, discuss the wild evolution of their collective friendships, and roast their co-host Rudy for her questionable lifestyle decisions. Throughout, the hosts balance their usual stream-of-consciousness comedy with surprisingly genuine gratitude for each other, their team, and the fans.
Bobby and Andrew open with a Star Trek-inspired riff celebrating "the voyages of the starship Bad Friends" ([00:55]).
Reflect on the growth of the show, original handling of guests, and addition of crew members like Rudy, Carlos, Fancy, and McCone ([33:33], [53:53]).
Audience thanks and appreciation in a more sincere tone than usual ([33:16], [37:13], [57:47], [43:00]).
Rudy reveals she’s been going out frequently, staying out late, and smoking weed at the beach. She further shocks the hosts by announcing she got her nipple pierced ([12:08], [12:50]).
The hosts spiral into a classic over-the-top intervention, calling Rudy’s friend Hillary to investigate the “bad influence” ([14:48]-[15:56]).
Bobby and Andrew mock Rudy with mock-PSAs about marijuana as a gateway drug, riff on potential face and chest tattoos, and exaggerate the consequences using "devil's game" language ([12:27]-[14:09], [17:56]-[19:10]).
Hillary joins and playfully denies all wrongdoing; the hosts double down with more accusations, lambasting modern youth culture, referencing Euphoria, and joking about “satanic” fairy tattoos ([19:13]-[22:07]).
Rudy, reflecting on six years, opens up about gaining confidence and self-acceptance due to her time on Bad Friends ([37:55]):
Bobby and Andrew echo genuine pride in Rudy’s growth, while still razzing her for her antics and joking about evicting her ([39:17], [39:30]).
The crew shares stories about how the podcast has changed their lives, including heartfelt gratitude, career-impacting moments, and stories of early podcast days ([43:00]-[54:24]).
Star Trek Opening Parody:
“These are the voyages of the starship Bad Friends...to boldly go where no sane podcast, HR department, or legal team has gone before.” – Andrew ([00:55])
Bobby on the Super Bowl:
“Super Bowl was one of the worst Super Bowls I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” ([05:54])
Andrew on Rudy’s Social Life:
“My mom used to say to me, nothing good happens after 2am. So what are you doing between 2 and 4am? Something bad is going on.” ([12:02])
Rudy’s Confession:
“I got a nipple piercing, too.” ([12:50])
Andrew on Rudy’s Newfound Confidence:
“You become more yourself than anything.” ([38:23])
Sincere Reflection:
“If this is the greatest thing I ever do, that’s awesome for me... It’s the most fun I’ve ever had in my entire life.” – Andrew ([43:00])
On the Podcast’s Impact:
“I think it made me really confident. It made me feel just like—it’s okay if I have an accent, it’s okay if I sound stupid. It really helped me just be comfortable with myself.” – Rudy ([38:14])
Classic Comedy Callback:
“You sang the joke of Thumble...thumble is one of the funniest jokes she ever said.” – Andrew ([57:02])
The "Star Trek Anniversary" episode is a perfect capsule of what makes Bad Friends beloved: anarchic comedy, affectionate ridicule, pop culture satire, revealing personal confessions, and—most of all—real camaraderie. Andrew and Bobby’s chemistry stays front and center, with Rudy serving as both comic foil and heartfelt proof of the show’s transformative power.
For new listeners: This episode is a journey through six years of wild podcasting, laced with the kind of memorable exchanges and emotional honesty that have fueled Bad Friends' loyal following.