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A
Hey, hey guys. I believe our Patreon is the best in the business.
B
We do number one.
A
We, we release things that we cut out of the show.
B
Yeah, stuff that you can't get on the show, you're gonna get on Patreon. And along with the fact that we've always been putting out episodes that are ad free on Patreon, we're constantly filming when we're constantly filming. And also McCone has put together a bunch of the docu series of US tours and on the road we just released London and Dublin which combined is 2 hours and 40 minutes of more Bad Friends content.
A
So for a full month you get 71 full month, you get 70% off.
B
Yeah.
A
Sign up for new members.
B
Off the new members, you're going to get 7,770% off for new sign ups to the Patreon. So go to patreon.com bad friends and check that out today.
A
Yep. Hey guys, I believe our Patreon is the best in the business.
B
We do one.
A
We, we release things that we cut out of the show.
B
Yeah, stuff that you can't get on the show, you're going to get on Patreon. And along with the fact that we've always been putting out episodes that are ad free on Patreon, we're constantly filming when we're constantly filming. And also McCone has put together a bunch of the docu series of US tours and on the road we just released London and Dublin which combined is 2 hours and 40 minutes of more Bad Friends content.
A
So for a full month you get one full month, you get 70% off.
B
Yeah. Sign up the new members, you're going to get 77,0.70% off for new signups to the Patreon. So go to patreon.com bad friends and check that out today. Yep, you two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?
C
White dude and an Asian dude.
A
You two are disgusting. You two or something.
B
We're bad friends. Last night I fell in love with you Last night.
A
Last night.
B
You look good today. Your hair looks good. You look good. You look smooth.
A
Interesting.
B
Because Smoot baby Asian boy. Baby Asian boy.
A
So he. We're at.
B
Okay, go ahead.
A
At the Comedy Store last night. Yeah.
B
The comedic story
A
already, dude.
B
We were out there selling jokes already, dude.
A
Already, dude.
B
I'm just. You from last week?
A
Yeah, yeah, already, dude.
B
Already I'm you from last week.
A
Yeah, I'm you from. From three years ago, dude. It doesn't make it.
C
I don't.
A
That makes sense. I'm so sorry.
B
Dude, what's up? Okay, tell the story.
A
There is no story, dude.
B
What's the story?
A
I just. I don't know.
B
What's the story, morning glory?
A
This?
B
Nothing, dude. Okay, what happened last night?
A
You're a little rude.
B
What did I do?
A
I'm at the Comedy Store. I'm watching your set. Great set.
B
Terrible set. It was not a good set. I was meaning through meandering through poop last night. Sebastian gave me a great intro. I don't think I brought this guy on stage before. Yeah, he has a fellow Chicagoan, ladies and gentlemen. He's got an Italian lesson. He doesn't look Italian. Yeah, it was such a good intro. He killed harder in the intro than I did on any of my jokes. He crushed. And I went up there and just. That's all I did.
A
Okay?
B
For 15 minutes, I'm in the hallway, fart, crap, poop.
A
Oh. Because then that was the reason.
B
And then he's on. He's in the hallway. I can see him. I can see just a little dumpling resting in the window of the hallway. And I walk down and this is what he's doing. This is what he's doing. Leaning against the wall going,
A
You know. You know what?
B
That's. What do you want my reaction to be?
A
Do you know? Okay, okay, okay.
B
What would you want? I ate shit on stage. Then you're leaning against the wall going,
A
okay, I didn't know.
B
Imagine the level. Imagine the level of condescension with. Okay, so what would anybody's reaction be?
A
Okay, so I didn't know. Let's backtrack a little bit. I didn't see your set. Okay, Okay. I didn't see your set.
B
Stone faced.
A
I didn't see your set. I showed up, right? I'm in the hallway, I'm watching him right toward the end, right? So I have no idea what he did, what the crowd is like or whatnot. I hadn't even gotten into the room, okay? So he walks out and just as a joke, I go, right? He walks right past me, says nothing. Right? Goes to the kitchen. That's right, Right. Slips out the bag to the valet. Yeah, to the valet. Without acknowledging my presence.
B
And then Bobby runs up to me. This is icing on the cake. Everyone's in agreeance with me, by the way, but this is icing on the cake. After the condescending clap. Then he chases me in the parking lot and he goes, you're not going to say hi to me? You're not going to say hi to me? And I said, I got to go home. And then he goes, we're business partners.
A
I did say that.
B
We're business partners.
A
Yes, we are. We are not business. We're not business partners.
B
We're not friends.
A
Okay, exactly.
B
We're not friends.
A
We are.
B
I guess because I would have.
A
Things can be true.
B
Say hi to my friend. I guess I'll say hi to my friend.
A
Why couldn't you say hi to your friend?
B
We're business partners.
A
Why couldn't you say hi to, like.
B
It's a law firm, okay?
A
It's. It's not. Lee and Santino law firm.
B
The boss is here.
A
The boss is here. You're the boss, dude. Okay? I was your intern. You moved me up as a. I'm the only boss.
B
I'm the only boss that gets paid the same as his employer employee. I'm the only boss on earth where the employee is matched to the CEO.
A
Anyway, I grabbed your wrist. You did.
B
I didn't. Because you're trying.
A
No, because you were trying to leave.
B
I was trying to get in my car and go home.
A
I know. I'm gonna. Because you're not gonna. I'll tell you what's not gonna happen here, bud. Okay, what's not gonna happen here, bud, is us being in. In an environment where you're just gonna not acknowledge my presence. That's what's not gonna happen.
B
See, this fame is going to his head. I told you, Andres, when I called you last night, I said, I think he's getting too famous.
A
Oh, my God. Dude, I. Is he gaslighting me? Dude.
B
What? You're getting too famous. A lot of people have been telling us. Okay, so grabbing a friend's wrist is generally considered crossing a physical boundary, particularly if it's done without consent, forcefully, or to your boss. Particularly to your boss.
A
Okay, boss man. I'm sorry. I grabbed a wrist.
B
I had a bad couple of sets.
A
I did not know that information.
B
I'm running through new shit all this week.
A
Set.
B
Some nights are good, some nights are tough. But I'm trudging through the mud. And then the clap in the hallway. It was like a Seinfeld episode. He did the clap. He did the clap. He did the clap.
A
Ah. I did not know. So now I have further context of the situation, and you had every right to not say hi to me.
B
I love you. Thank you. Good to see you.
A
But I'm going to grab your wrist from now on.
B
I mean, you're going to get hurt if you do that. You're going to a Slow clap is widely considered a condescending, sarcastic, or ironic gesture. Everyone in the world in Africa. They know.
A
Yeah, they know.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they know.
B
Yeah, they know.
A
Yeah. Okay, so it was kind of a. Guy has a cricket stick. What's going on here? What's the contact? He missed.
B
He has a cricket stick.
A
Yes. Okay. He missed. And slow clap. Okay, good. So they play cricket in Africa?
B
All over the world.
A
Okay, good.
B
Cricket is a universal sport.
A
Thank you so much. Right. I want to be.
B
No, I just had a terrible set.
A
I was. I did not know that.
B
Was slumming in the bums.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Was bumming in the slum.
A
Yeah. So I grabbed a wrist, I said, you know, say hi, and I understand why you reacted the way you did, and I apologize.
B
Thank you. I love you.
A
Yeah.
B
I love you. And I'm sorry for ignoring you in the hallway, but the slow clap got me good all the way home. No music. And all I can hear is.
A
Yeah.
B
Looping through my head.
A
Okay. Okay.
B
Going through the canyon anyway.
A
Can I just threw another fact in there, then? Give me. If I may.
B
Yeah, please.
A
I killed. Anyway, let's move on. Okay. I had a really good set, but.
B
I know you did.
A
No, but. Because I'm doing old shit.
B
Yeah. Yeah, but not for long.
A
Okay?
B
Not for long because the finally tour is on sale right now, so please go to Bobby lee, go to bobbylee.live, and please go see my best friend, my business partner, as he refers to it. I would have said friend first. I consider you my friend first. One of my closest friends.
A
Yeah, I.
B
And we do a job together. Yeah, but I wouldn't do this if we weren't friends.
A
I understand that, but we are also business partners.
B
We are. Yeah, but I'm. You're my friend first. I care about you more than this.
A
Okay? Yeah, and I would agree with that,
B
because otherwise, if we're just two guys doing a show who aren't friends, then it's just two bears, one cave.
A
Keep that in. That's true. I mean, they love each other. Gee, Christmas tequila or whatever, go buy their kila.
B
Are we not allowed to make jokes with anymore? With anybody? Is everyone sensitive?
A
Yeah, they're very sensitive.
B
I love that shirt. And your hair looks good. You're doing all the. You're touching a lot of the buttons right now.
A
Well, I'll tell you why. Because I quit smoking as well.
B
No, you didn't.
A
Yeah. This. Day two. Yeah.
B
Dude, did you really?
A
Yeah. Day two.
B
Day two.
A
Yeah.
B
And how do you feel?
A
Pretty good. Well, I'll tell. I'll tell you why I did it. And I'm not a scientist, as you know, I don't. I don't know. Some people think.
B
Is it general health and well being?
A
Yeah.
B
Are you coughing at night?
A
No.
B
What?
A
No. What happened was I was smoking a cigarette and I had a loogie. You know what I mean?
B
Yeah.
A
As one does. Right. And in my sink, I just went and I just spit. In the sink.
B
Inside your house in the sink? Right, right.
A
Oh, my sink isn't. No, I'm in my backyard.
B
Were you smoking?
A
Yeah, yeah. No, it's that.
B
What, you have an outdoor sink. You have many outdoor sinks.
A
I do have outdoors. Okay.
B
All right. Wait a minute. I thought you were smoking in this.
A
No, I was. I don't smoke in the house. I went. I smoked a skin outside. I went inside.
B
Right.
A
I did loogie. Right.
B
That's fine.
A
Right. And then I just let it sit there. Science. Remember the science? Okay, look, I'm a scientist.
B
You're the science. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
A
Yeah. And it dried.
B
It does. Yeah.
A
As one does.
B
It should.
A
Yeah. As it's called elements. You know what I mean?
B
I told you he was a scientist.
A
This is good.
B
So the elements caused it to dry. Yes. So elementary elements caused them to dry.
A
Right.
B
So they dried.
A
They call it air.
B
Air.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Learning.
A
You're learning.
B
You're learning.
A
You're learning.
B
So the loogie dried in the same.
A
Right. And then you want to know about geopolitics too. I'm really not interested. Okay, okay. Anyway, and it will. It looked like it looked like tar.
B
Yes.
A
After it dried.
B
Because of.
A
Yes, because of the smoking. Right, Right. And then because Remy had died.
B
Right.
A
Death was on my mind. Right. And I made the connection between the tar Lugie that dried through elements through air and whatnot. Okay.
B
Yeah.
A
And the death of my dog made me go, I'm done.
B
That's good.
A
Yeah, yeah. So I'm a little anxious. I told the boys before, I don't know if I could do this today. I have, you know, very filled with anxiety and, you know, I don't know much. I don't know what I'm going to talk about, but, you know, but we're here.
B
Well, you're cold turking. Why don't you just supplement it with, like, sweating? Why don't you do just smaller doses of nicotine to get you off in general? Oh, you're still doing it.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm doing it.
B
I know.
A
Of course you're doing it.
B
Yeah, I am.
A
Yeah.
B
But I mean, I'm not.
A
Yeah, I got it. Yeah. But it's. Yeah, there's a lot of anxiety here,
B
but it's okay going on. But you have to stop not to
A
be dark, because you've also mentioned a lot you're still smoking. You're still smoking.
B
Yes.
A
You got to stop smoking.
B
I have said it a lot.
A
Yeah. Do you know why you said that? Not because we're business partners, because we're friends. Yeah.
B
I do care about the business of it all. No, no, I do care about you a lot. Tremendously. And if I'm being honest, and I know this is not going to be a funny part of the show, but I don't care. My biological father is perpetually sick because he smoked for, like, 45 years. I mean, he's got.
A
Did he quit?
B
He did.
A
Dude, when?
B
Gotta be 15, 20 years ago.
A
Keep smoking, then. I'm.
B
No, no, no, no.
A
The consequences are already in play.
B
No, you can lessen how bad it is because your body is. Your lungs are incredible. They clear out very quickly.
A
Oh.
B
But if you smoke up into your, like, 60s, you're in deep shit.
A
All right. You're in deep shit. Yeah.
B
So if you quit now. Yeah, the lungs are amazing. They clean out at such a rapid rate.
A
But Keith Richards has always been my bar.
B
Yeah.
A
You know, I mean, because, you know, there's a legendary story where you smoke, like, two packs of Marlboro Red.
B
Bring him a photo of Keith Richards today.
A
Yeah.
B
Without makeup.
A
Yeah.
B
Without his makeup and hair done.
C
Yeah, yeah.
B
Go to the first photo. Yeah, there you go. That's what you want to look like. He's 42.
A
Yeah.
B
Him and I are the same age.
A
But my point, though, he's alive, though.
B
He's barely alive.
A
I know, but in my mind, I was like, oh, Keith. Oh, there it is. There it is. That's. That's what he looks like. That's what he looks like. Yeah. That's on the left. On the left.
B
And by the way, yes, he is alive, Bobby. He's an A, an anomaly. And B. And B, if you know nothing about this show, once we speak of this, on this show, he will be dead. Everyone we talk about on this show.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Oh, my God. Someone sent me a clip. I guess Eric Dane passed away.
A
Yeah.
B
And we talked about him two weeks before.
A
I know. I didn't even want to.
C
Yeah.
B
I said it was just in conversation. And we were like, eric Dane. And we got to Stop talking about celebrities. They're all going to be dead.
A
Can we talk about celebrities? We want to die.
B
Diddy. Wait, we did a whole episode on Diddy. He didn't die.
A
Yeah, he didn't die.
B
So it doesn't work.
A
It doesn't work. Yeah, yeah.
B
You know who I saw had some celebrity beef this week? That was wild. Who was? Arquette and Tarantino. Did you see this? Oh, yeah.
A
She's.
B
This is what's interesting about Hollywood now. They're attacking each other because she was in Pulp Fiction and then she didn't like Jackie Brown. No. Wasn't she in Pulp Fiction?
C
She was. She's mad about the N word scene at the end.
A
Wait, what? Arquette.
B
Roseanne. Oh, Rosanna Arquette.
A
Oh, it was a Roseanna Arquette.
B
Yeah, she's in Pulp Fiction.
A
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're right.
B
She is in Pulp Fiction, and she doesn't like that he used the N word in the scene with the. At the house with the guys, and she did like a whole thing about it. And then Tarantino went off online. It was nuts. He was like. You didn't seem to. He's.
C
Well, this is just what she said.
B
You take 12 years of slave, which supposedly. Supposedly made by an amateur. Steve McQueen is very different than Quentin. Wow. When you have a. Yeah, she's just going on about him using the N word and saying it's like, you know, cheap and hack and gross and whatever. And then he popped off and he was like, you had no problem taking the job from me.
A
Also at the time, though, when that. When that movie was.
B
It was fun to say. No, no, no, no, no.
A
That's not what I'm saying. Yeah. It sound. It seemed. I think with Samuel Jackson wasn't in the city, it would have been weird. I think there needs to be, like, you.
C
I mean.
A
Oh, well, Sam's fine with it.
B
There's two ways to look at it, okay.
C
That's his quote.
B
He said, I hope the publicity you're getting from 132 different media outlets, writing your name and printing your picture was worth disrespecting. Me and a film I remember quite clearly you were thrilled to be a part of. The writer, director wrote in a statement addressed directly to Arket.
A
Wow.
B
Here's what's interesting. Two ways to look at this, and let's get some honest perspective from the booth as well, then.
A
Yeah.
B
Especially from filmmaker over there.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
If the calls for the character in almost anything that we've ever made in the world of art in film if we're going to believe that this is the world in a vacuum, if it calls for the character to use certain language, it lines up when Leo went off, Right. It was disgusting. But that was the character.
A
You mean in Django Unchained.
C
Yeah.
A
No, in what?
B
Leo in Titanic when he yells,
C
oh,
A
yeah, I remember that. Yeah, right. When he drowns, he says it. Yeah, you gotta turn it off. But he says the N word, right?
B
What? He's like, goodbye, Rose.
A
Yeah.
C
And then says.
A
He says, I remember that. Yeah, yeah.
B
No, dude, in Django, he says, it's very appropriate for the character. It's atrocious to hear, but.
A
Yeah.
B
What when Tarantino was doing was showing how vital and disgusting these people were. It was brilliant. It made you loathe a guy that we love. It was perfect.
A
Right.
B
The argument that many people have made is this, man, it didn't really fit the character. It was very odd. It was almost inserted in a way where you go, this guy lives in the Valley, as we know, he's got a wife, he's friends with these guys. So he' obviously a little bit of a up to no gooder. It doesn't seem. It's. It. It is true that it doesn't quite fit the character.
A
Yeah. Because Leo in Django is a plantation. You know what I mean?
B
Owner.
A
Owner.
B
He's a slave owner.
A
A slave owner. And he would say it. Yeah. But a guy that lives in Sherman Oaks also, right? A guy with Sherman Oaks. Right. Who has a. Does he have a black wife?
B
Bonnie's black. Yes.
A
Yeah, Bonnie's black.
B
Right.
A
So maybe that.
B
I don't know.
A
I don't know.
B
That's an interesting Bill Burr.
A
Say it.
B
I'm. I. How about this?
C
Yeah.
B
I bet you he doesn't.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
I bet he does it.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
I understand the argument where you're like, I get if things are called contextually for a character.
A
Yeah. Yes, yes.
B
But that character wasn't really that.
A
Right, right, right.
B
Look, does she need to talk about it publicly? No.
A
Yeah.
B
But also, we've all thought it. We've all been like, oh, that was weird. When he said it, you were like, whoa. Yeah, because I have that sign outside of my house.
A
Yeah. Like last.
B
That fits me.
A
Yeah. But last night I saw Chappelle Lacy at Swingers, right?
B
He is always at Swingers.
A
He's always there. He's there. He lives there. He lives there. Right. And he gets that chicken sandwich.
B
Careful.
A
I mean, it's not fried. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not fried. Yeah, yeah, he gets that. Like, just that, you know?
B
I know.
A
Grilled chicken.
B
Exact same one every night.
A
Yeah, the same. So he loves that sandwich every night. But it's. It's as if. You mean I said it to him last night.
B
Why?
A
No, what I'm saying is that in it.
B
Why did you say it?
A
Say it. Well, I didn't say it. What I'm saying is, is that how casually he says it, you know, in the movie. Right. Is, like, even if you're with your black friend, you wouldn't casually say that.
B
No, you wouldn't.
A
You wouldn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
You know where you would.
A
You want to say it. Yeah, yeah. You want to say it, but you wouldn't casually do. Casually.
B
Yeah, you know where you. You. You know. You know when you say it in front of your black friend?
A
When?
B
Never.
A
Exactly. Yeah, yeah. You never say it.
B
Yeah. You don't.
A
Yeah. You never say it.
B
I got a fan. Like, a fan to my fan page. Or is that. Or the girl that helps the book the show.
A
Go back, Boris. Go back.
B
Sorry.
A
Okay.
B
I got an email through the team from, like, a fan or something.
A
Go further back.
B
Okay.
A
I'm kidding.
B
My. My dad ran out on my mom and I.
A
All right.
B
No, I got an email from, like, a fan page thing or something. And it is a request for you and I to perform at a wedding. And now immediately, I was like, there's no way. I'm not going to perform at a wedding. I'm not going to perform at a wedding.
A
I'm out.
B
But how about this?
A
I'm out.
B
It's the Royal family.
A
Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah.
B
No, but as.
A
But Prince Andrew has to be there.
B
It is. It's his wedding.
A
It's his wedding. Okay.
B
It is very weird. They want us to perform at a wedding. Clearly, I'm like, no, we're not gonna perform at a wedding. But the thought of it was so funny that you want this beautiful, special moment. I was just in my car laughing like. You want this beautiful, special moment of you marrying your wife and Bobby and I doing bits? You want us to do bits at the happiest moment of your life?
A
Yeah.
B
You want Bobby and I to do a Bobby Llama to your uncle? Yeah.
A
Yeah. There's just no way.
B
No, I've never. But it did make me laugh because they did. They. It is where we get.
A
Okay.
B
We get people to say, can I propose to my wife at your show? Yeah, we did that all the time.
A
We let them promote. Yeah.
B
But we've never been asked to do the wedding, to perform at the wedding.
A
Yeah, Kachava, you know, it's like I'm trying to lose weight. I and Kachava has completely helped me. It has all the nutrients. They're so delicious. They have a new flavor, which is coffee.
B
Coffee, baby.
A
Remember the strawberry one they dropped, man, I love that one. Every time they drop a new flavor, dude, I get stoked, man. I get hyped because this stuff is legit.
B
It is really, really good, man. Energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, cognition. It helps with all of these things like energy. They support all day energy with five key vitamins and minerals, helps your digestion, fiber, probiotics and enzymes. You strength. It fuels or replenishes your muscle of protein and electrolytes. This is super, super, super. It has everything you need.
A
Petrava has no artificial flavors, colors or sweeteners, non GMO ingredients, no soy, no animal products, no gluten, and no preservatives.
B
And this new flavor coffee is absolutely delicious, by the way.
A
I love it.
B
They have many other good flavors. They got chocolate, vanilla, chai matcha, coconut. I say strawberry. It's so, so good. Just two scoops provide 25 grams of protein, 6 grams of fiber, greens, adaptogens and so much more. How do they get it?
A
Treat yourself to the flavor and nutrition your body craves. Go to kachava.com and use code bad friends for 15% off your first order.
B
That's Cachava. K A C H A V A dot com code bad friends.
A
Avocado green mattresses. I have an avocado green mattress. It is so comfortable. Issa's here from out of town, right? So she's sleeping on the avocado green mattress. She loves it. She's sleeping very good. They're certified organic. Mattresses are specifically designed pressure points, support your body the way it needs and helps you actually get the deep restorative sleep you've been missing.
B
And every single one of avocado green mattresses are made with thoughtfully sourced materials and built with real care. You're going to get incredible sleep night after night after night. Bobby tells me constantly he's sleeping much better. And let me tell you something. Sleep is so important. And we don't. We take it for granted all the time that we're like, oh, I got to, you know, I got to. I gotta wake up early for something. I didn't get a good night's sleep. It's going to ruin your day. The avocado green mattresses are great because they have quality that lasts and they're good for you while being good for the planet.
A
And for Avocado, sustainability isn't just a feature. It's the result of choosing better materials, better craftsmanship and better standards.
B
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A
That's avocado green mattress.com/bad friends avocado green mattress.com/bad Friends Rocket Money. You saved me so much money. Because in this day and age, man, saving money, bleeding out money is bad. And I had so many unwanted subscriptions and you told me to get on Rocket Money and I saved so much money on Rocket Money. If you have a lot of subscriptions out there, sometimes you don't even know you.
B
Most of the time you sign up
A
for an app and you know, I mean, you're bleeding money. You don't know. Right? And that's what Rocket. What does Rocket Money tell them about Rocket?
B
Well, Rocket Money, they track your subscriptions. They have the ability to cancel your unwanted ones. With the app, with just a few taps, you can save users over 880 million in cancel subscriptions. That's what they've already done. And look, here's the best part about them. You don't have to negotiate to lower your bills. They can do all that stuff for you. And you know, this app does everything. They consolidate checking, savings, loans, investments into a single dashboard. And it gives you a clear view of your financial picture, which is important because a lot of us are very lost on what's going on. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bill so you can grow your savings. Here's the best part. You can set budgets and goals and you get personalized insights that are going to help you with these regular reports. And you can receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. And what this is going to do for everyone in the world that wants to know. It's going to help you consolidate your financial life to make it a little bit easier because we're always on our phones, we're clicking, yes, pay for this, pay for that. Everything is so digitized now, you're not thinking about it. So let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster.
A
Join@RocketMoney.com Bad Friends that's Rocket Money.com Bad Friends. Rocket Money.com Bad Friends. Let me ask you this. Last night. So you went up, Then Ally went up.
B
No, no.
A
Ali went up after you.
B
Yeah, I brought up.
A
And Allie brought me up.
B
Correct.
A
Right. And she brought me up. Great intro. And you know, you tell a joke, you know, when the guy. Previous person. Right. She took it well. But some people don't. How do you think about that? It's all. What I did was. Ladies and gentlemen, Margaret Chell.
B
Funny.
A
Simple.
B
Yeah.
A
A simple. Right. She turned around, did a smirk. Yeah. Like. Right. And she took it well. Yeah.
B
Right. Then went to the lot tires.
A
Yeah. But I've. I've. I've given people, you know, I mean that. And they haven't talked to me for years.
B
You will you. Well, it depends on the relationship.
A
No, I've had great relationships with comics where I said something like, I'm not afraid to say it, but do it. You know? I mean, it wasn't even bad. It was argus Hamilton Respect.
B
A legend.
A
Legend. Right. Great hair today. Something like. It was. It wasn't. It wasn't anything.
B
Right.
A
Right. You know? I mean, two years later, he's like, I have a resentment towards you. You know? I mean, my hair looked good that night. I was like, two years.
B
He was feeling it.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
He was probably.
A
How do. I mean, do you say. I mean, do you do a little slam? Slam. You don't.
B
Here's why. Unless it's you. If it's like.
A
Oh, you say crazy thing.
B
Well, but you're a friend. It doesn't. I can't.
A
You know what? If it's.
B
If it's a certain people, I'll do it. But pretty rarely.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, because Marin and I went back and forth for a little while because that. He'd give me an intro every time. He'd be like, I try to be friends with this guy. We went hiking once. He never wants to hike with me again. I don't know if we'll probably never be friends. Andrew Santino.
A
That's still pretty good.
B
And I'm like, thanks for the.
A
But that's still pretty good because it shows relationship.
B
I know, but it's not even like a. You're gonna like this guy. It's like, here he is.
A
Yeah.
B
You got. I pump it up. You got spade. Huh?
A
You got Spade the other night.
B
What did I say about Spade? Oh, yeah.
A
What'd you say? Yeah. What did you. What did you say? What did you say? What'd you say? What did you say?
B
What? I was like, give it up for that guy. What did I say?
A
He needs it.
B
He needs it.
A
That.
B
See it crushed.
A
It crushed.
B
But David loves that kind of.
A
He does. He's. He's. He's great about stuff like that.
B
There's certain people that enjoy it because they kind of think it's fun. He also, if you saw from. He was holding me from going on stage.
A
All right, you do. That's a good fun bit.
B
He stops me from getting on stage. He pretends he needs to, like, talk to me or something.
A
Yeah.
B
And he's just making you wait longer. And the host is going, yeah, yeah.
A
Get out of the stage. And I don't know if it's for them or the host suffering.
B
It's both.
A
Yeah, yeah. I think you're having two people suffer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the host is always a newer comic and they don't know what to do. That's what I like.
B
They keep going.
A
Yeah, yeah. And then sometimes it'll look at the curtain, see if anyone's back there. Right. They get really nervous.
B
Yeah, they do.
A
Yeah. I do a one minute rule with Ramsey Badawi. I go, one minute.
B
What does that mean?
A
He doesn't get to get to go on stage for a minute after his name is announced.
B
One minute.
A
One minute rule.
B
Oh, my God.
A
It's the best.
B
Does he tank? That's him.
A
That's. Yes. It's a challenge to dig out of that hole. Yeah, yeah. You gotta learn.
B
You throw him in the well.
A
Yeah, you gotta throw him in the well, dude.
B
Go. Get out.
A
Yeah. Buffalo Bill style. Dude.
B
Put the lotion back.
A
Yeah. The nails have to be in the wall. All right, so what I do is I'll. I'll grab the wrist. I apologize. I know. I realized when we googled it that risk grabbing is bad. I won't do it again. Right. But. But when I didn't know that. Right. I would grab his wrist. I would close the green room door. Yeah. And I look right in it. And he could. Come on, Bob. Right. They're already clapping for him.
B
Yeah. They.
A
They're waiting. And how much more? I go, 44. Five more seconds.
B
Oh, my God.
A
It's great.
B
It's so uncomfortable.
A
Yeah. And then I'll gradually open the door. He'll run out there. Right. But sometimes he kills with it because he uses. He tells the truth. Bobby locked me in the room. Yeah. Right. Yeah. He'll figure out a way.
B
And that's going to crush.
A
Yeah. Because they used to do that to me when I was opening for people who did that. So I used to. I don't know. I've told this before.
B
I mean, I've told this before, but men did it.
A
Do you remember why, though?
B
No.
A
Yeah. Yeah. So I used to have this bit where I would do my hair like this. Yeah, right.
B
Yeah.
A
And I would go up on stage, right. And I would. And just the look would be funny. Right, Right. So they would. People would just laugh and I would have like. Like a. I just start the audience like that. Right. For like 30 seconds ago. I'm not really Asian. I just woke up and it.
B
That's a great bit, dude.
A
A bit Crush.
B
Yeah.
A
Back in the late 90s.
B
Oh, dude.
A
Crush film.
B
Bring that back.
A
Bring back that back. Right.
B
So good.
A
And then we know what Mencia said one night.
B
What?
A
He threw at me a hat. Because you're not doing that. Then again, why. It's a crutch.
B
It's a funny joke.
A
I know, but he. He put. He threw me a hat because.
B
Did you do it to open every show?
A
Every show.
B
Well, that's okay.
A
Yeah. Every show I would use it. Right. And he thought that it was not helping me. Right. And so he gave me a hat. I would have to wear a hat and not do that bit.
B
Okay, well, I get what he's doing.
A
No, but he's trying to. It's about teaching.
B
Yes. You're. You're coaching.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Because you got to know. You got to know it's good, but you got to grow.
A
Yeah. And that anxiety. I don't know what I'm teaching with the one minute. I don't know. I know that there's a lesson there somewhere. I know there's a lesson there somewhere. I just don't know what it is yet. Yeah.
B
I don't know what. It doesn't matter. Maybe he needs to find out what the lesson is. Maybe that's on. It's on the student, not the teacher. Yeah, the teacher doesn't need to know.
A
The teacher doesn't need to know.
B
The student.
A
Mustafa figure they figure out the rule, Right? Here's another thing I used to do, all right? You have to say yabba dabba do.
B
Yeah.
A
Five times in your set, and you can't tell the audience why.
B
Oh, my God.
A
It's a great one.
B
Just in the middle of it, be like. Well, you know. Yeah, but I do.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
And you use it as A filler. So if you go. And my mom and dad, they're moving and. Yeah, yeah. So then.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
You have to throw it in.
A
Yeah. Because, you know, they used to be those. Those. Those like hamburger. Hamburger. You know, the comic. Hamburger.
B
Oh, hamburger.
A
Yeah, hamburger. Right. They used to do that between joke. That was their hook line back in the 80s or 90s. Yeah, they used to have hook lines, you know, I mean, like, you know, chicken fried steak. You know, I mean, just in the middle of. Just the middle of nowhere. And the whole audience would chant it. Chicken fried steak. Right. So that's what I'm teaching, right. Yeah. Maybe yabba dabba do is the thing,
B
but chicken fried steak is also great. Yeah, that is a great line.
A
Here's another thing I used to do, right? You have to hopscotch one time from one end of the stage to the other and not tell the audience why
B
while you're in the middle of set.
A
No, in between jokes. So they do a punchline and then they have to across the stage and I'm. Noah's laughing, but I'm in the back of the room.
B
You're laughing. Oh, my God, dude.
A
Oh, my God. I'm just cackling.
B
That's so fun for you. That's for you. It's only for me because I've never.
A
I don't. I got.
B
I'm a boring headliner. I'm like, get out there and have fun.
A
No, you got to do challenges.
B
I can't. I just. I'm. I'm scared of making them uncomfortable. I'm nervous that they're going to be
A
like, I think this is back in the day, you know? I mean.
B
Yeah. Not now, I don't think. Yeah. You with Ramsey now.
A
Only Ramsey now. But. But I'll tell you why Ramsey, I've. He owes me his life.
B
Why?
A
I've given him everything.
B
You've given him a lot.
A
I give him a lot of opportunity. We're very close. I talked to him last night. We're good friends.
B
You do love him.
A
Yeah. So he's not just an opener. He's now turned into a friend. So I feel like we can with each other. He. With me as well.
B
Well, you know what's next? Your friends. You might as well be business partners with them.
A
Maybe one day.
B
Dude, I watched Soft White Underbelly.
A
Yeah. I love them.
B
Those are. I cannot stop watching.
A
Yeah, some of them are hot. The homeless girls.
B
So many.
A
Oh, my God. I got. You can live at my house for free. Yeah.
B
And you know what the Soft, white underbelly. You know what's crazy about this?
A
Yeah.
B
He'll go back, like. He'll go back like, eight, nine months later.
A
Yeah. Yeah. And see what they're doing.
B
And they're doing the same thing.
A
Same thing. Yeah. Like this girl.
B
Beautiful.
A
Yeah, yeah, beautiful. All she needs to get on is, like, you know, she just needs to get on Accutane. Look at her face.
B
No, buddy, that's a tattoo.
A
Oh, that is. Oh,
B
it is crazy.
A
Yeah. Oh, man, that's a good one. Yeah.
B
Wait a minute. Is that a bruise?
A
No, she's half panda. She's one of those new hybrids, right?
B
Yeah.
A
Wow. Like. Like this. Like this girl. Like, for instance, if she. Okay. That the last girl that you had.
B
This girl's gorgeous.
A
Gorgeous, Right. You're single, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
B
I mean, if this girl said to me, hey, I'm in the throes of addiction.
A
Yeah.
B
Live on the streets. I'm sharing needles with strangers.
A
Yeah.
B
I'm sleeping with people for money.
A
Yeah.
B
What do you think? I go, come on in.
A
But then your TV is missing. Oh, yeah, you're right.
B
Get a new tv.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Get a new tv.
A
Right.
B
She robs all my friends.
A
And then, like, late at night, she's in the bathroom. You hear scratching sounds for some reason, like, what is she doing in there? Right.
B
We should note.
A
Yeah.
B
This is very sad.
A
It's very sad. Very sad.
B
No, what it is, is we love the interviews because they're powerful as we. We get to see the window into this life of addiction that is. It's dark and wild, and it takes everyone. The point we're making is.
A
Yeah.
B
Addiction knows no bounds.
A
Yeah.
B
It doesn't matter where you're from, what color you are, how much money you came from, but it's everybody. And then these interviews are so powerful.
A
Yeah. They're real. Feeling vulnerable.
B
Yeah. Oh, man. You're like, I can't. How can. Like, sometimes you'll see a kid who's, like, 20 years old.
A
Yeah.
B
And he's like, I haven't been home since I was 16. You're like, why?
A
Yeah, I love. It's nurture, though.
B
It's not nature.
A
Yeah.
B
It's all nurture.
A
I think most of it's nurture. I think that, you know. Well, you don't.
B
Addiction.
A
I think addiction. I think addiction's nature. Right. But if you have. I know, but if you have great parents. Right. You can navigate it.
B
I. I think so. But I think.
A
I think that without my parents, because I got sober when I was 17. Right. My parents threw me in rehab a lot. Right?
B
Yeah.
A
And they never stopped caring, they never stopped trying, you know?
B
Yeah, that's important.
A
I think that's important. But also, if you have a broken home, right. Your parents aren't there, they're in their own addiction.
B
Right.
A
You know, I mean, you have no money, you know, I mean, I mean,
B
these things, it's a layered effect.
A
It's a layered effect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
And again, it gets harder and harder.
A
Yeah.
B
Well, I'm happy that you're sober.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what my point is is it's more.
B
I know.
A
It's a combination of both.
B
It is sweating. Yeah. Why are you sweating now?
A
Because of the.
B
I know, I know. Withdrawal.
A
Withdrawal.
B
Okay, so how about it though? What, what is you. What's the intake of nicotine now? How much?
A
I don't know. This one, That's.
B
How many pouches a day?
A
Six milligrams, probably three.
B
Three a day?
A
Yeah.
B
That's not that bad.
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah, I mean, I guess, what do I know? But I feel like that's not that bad. I feel like the average has got to be way higher.
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, you'll be proud of me. Last night I was laying in bed and I put away my phone because I was thinking about our screen time conversation. And so I put it away and I didn't touch it until. Made coffee in the morning, walked the dog, dropped a deuce, played with the dog in the backyard. Then when I was finally done with that, made a little snacky breakfast. And then I picked up my phone.
A
You know I love you and I know we're business partners and friends. I think that's a lie.
B
Why?
A
Because last night you sent me a tick tock video.
B
What time?
A
Let me see. What time? You took a. Send it.
B
Well, I probably wasn't in bed yet.
A
Okay, let me just see, Let me just see.
B
What time?
A
Let me see. So there you.
B
What time?
A
Hold on, I gotta go down because I get. Oh, there you go. I go hahaha. So time was at what? So what time did you say you put your phone down?
B
When I went to bed.
A
Yeah. What time?
B
1:30.
A
That's when you put your phone down.
B
1:30 or 2 in the morning? 1. No, 12:30 or 1. Maybe that, maybe it's closer to 1.
A
Okay. 12:15. You sent it.
B
Okay, so. What do you mean okay?
A
You're right.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay.
B
I, I don't go to bed.
A
I thought it was much later.
B
Right.
A
Because I was like, he's texting me. He's, you know, me. Sending me.
B
No, I was on the couch.
A
Can I show them what you sent me? Or.
B
It's one of the funniest. Well, I was on the couch with the dog, scrolling through my phone.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
Because she had to get up early.
A
Yeah.
B
And so when I sleep, I sleep in the other room because she's got to get up early. So I'm sitting on my phone playing with the dog. And then I said, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna brush my teeth and I'm gonna lay in bed and just stay on my phone. But I didn't. I left the phone. But that is one of the last texts I sent. Show them the video that you can send it. Text it to Carlos. Play. Play this video. So here I am sitting on the couch.
A
Yeah.
B
Petting the dog. Tick tocking away before I go to bed, and I see this video, and I think Bobby's got to see this right away.
A
This is what he said at midnight. But here's what. I don't even know what's going on, really. To be honest with you.
B
They don't either.
A
Okay.
B
This is.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
She's singing a song and having her daughter or sister sing along.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
I just think.
A
But what's the funny part?
C
You send crazy stuff.
A
What? Yeah.
B
You send the most wild dude.
A
Guys with no head. Yeah. That's unbelievable. How are they living?
B
I was. I was impressed by her talent. Is this. Did she post this? And if she did, what was the goal?
A
Yeah.
B
So I'm thinking, what am I supposed to feel?
A
Yeah.
B
That's why the Internet's beautiful. You interpret it as you may.
A
The second thing I would like to add is that the little one feels like doesn't want to be there.
B
No.
A
Yeah.
B
It's forced.
A
It's for clicks.
B
It's forced.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go.
B
To just zoom in on the girl the whole time.
A
Excuse me, Sabrina, do you want to do a video? No, no.
B
Zoom in. Is that joke sucked?
A
No, that joke was bad.
B
It was good.
A
Yeah, yeah. I'm sweating.
B
All right, let's see. Yeah, Just zoom in on her. Start it all over again. And let's just see her from the beginning and just go to her face. You're right.
A
She doesn't want to be there.
B
She does not.
A
It's a hostage situation.
B
She's a hostage.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
And they put the dog in the background to give people some semblance.
A
I don't even see the dog. Where's the dog?
B
Watch.
A
I don't even see the dog.
B
Right there.
A
Yeah. Where? Watch the video again. Oh, there is the dog. Yeah. Yeah. What a cute dog, huh? The dog has like eight eyes or something on its.
B
Oh, maybe this is AI.
A
It could be AI.
B
Is AI getting me all the time and I don't even know how.
A
AI is so crazy, dude. Do you think models are in trouble because of AI?
B
Well, I know why you're asking that.
A
Why are you asking?
B
Because on Instagram, I asked.
A
I mean, why am I asking? Because on Instagram, sometimes I don't know.
B
I've seen. I know.
A
Do you?
B
Well, you've sent me some of the girls that you're questioning.
A
Yeah, yeah. Is this real?
B
Real or no?
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
No, it's not. But it is funny. Some of them are so. They're so good at copying real influencers.
A
Yeah.
B
That I. You don't know, because. How about this? The real influencers, they're putting so many filters on, they look AI now.
A
Exactly.
B
So it's like a hat on a hat.
C
Yeah.
B
They all look fake.
A
They look. Yeah.
B
So the fakes look more real than the fake than people.
A
It's. I think filters should be illegal on dating apps.
B
That is a very good point.
A
I know. I'm being real.
B
No, no, There is an app that does that. There's a. There's, there's one that you can't use makeup and stuff. There's like a. Oh, what is that one? Someone talked to me about?
A
There.
B
There's a dating app where people are, like, in the real or something. Yeah. Real. Is that what it's called?
A
I don't know.
B
Whatever. Yeah, but Bobby Lee's new app is going to be no makeup.
A
No, you can wear makeup.
B
No. No filters.
A
Yeah, yeah, but the filters are.
B
Let me see you first thing in the morning, do your hair. Do your face again.
A
What?
B
Your hair and your face again. This is your date. This should be. There should be a dating app where everybody looks like this. That would be amazing.
A
Amazing.
B
The first thing in the morning.
A
There's first thing in the morning.
B
First thing in the morning.
A
First thing in the morning. Dude, that's like app first thing in the morning. Oh, I'd get no matches.
B
That's not our problem.
A
That's not our problem.
B
Yeah, yeah, you're. You can stay on.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Stay on the thing.
C
That's where there's AI. By the way, I get fooled by Hinge AI girls.
A
That's why I just said it should be illegal.
C
Thank you.
A
I, I, you're welcome. I'll vote for you then. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Well, if you'd like to get on our app first thing in the morning, it's all natural. It's completely verified by humans to make sure you're human. You have to call our call center to verify that you're human.
A
But I'm going to be working at the call center, Correct?
B
Okay.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
And you can reap some of the benefits. You can go, hey, you know, I work at the call center. So if you want to wear makeup and not wear your first photo, corrupt it. Corrupt the system. Something has to corrupt it.
C
Give them a blue check mark kind of thing.
B
100% validate.
A
I'm being real. That's a good idea.
B
First Thing in the Morning is a dating app.
A
Yeah. That's a really good. That's genius.
B
Because it will force people to go, don't try to look good for this first thing in the morning photo. We will call you out.
A
Yeah.
B
So First Thing in the Morning is the app that Bob and I are creating. It's a dating app where you take a photo.
A
Right.
B
Right when you.
A
Every photo is right in the morning.
B
Right in the. By the way.
A
Yeah.
B
You're allowed to. Every day you're allowed to update a. Change that photo. Like, let's say you don't like it. You're allowed to change every. You can leave it in perpetuity. But you can.
A
You could take as many photos as
B
you want and choose. Oh, no, no, no. I. I like the idea of your profile photo is you.
A
Right.
B
First thing in the morning.
A
Yeah.
B
If you want to change it, you have to wait a full day. So once you upload it, that's got to stay.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
And you can leave it for a few days if you want. Yeah.
A
But dating apps, you need five or six on your page.
B
No, no. The joke of first thing in the morning is this.
A
It's not a joke. It's a real. Yeah. Shopify. Here at Bad Friends, we have an online business and without Shopify, I don't think we would have this online.
B
Be very lost.
A
Get started with your own design studio. I think that's what I'm trying to say. With hundreds with ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store, Andrew, that matches your brand. Style. It's all about style.
B
About style.
A
Hooking people in.
B
That's right. Well, because you want to embody whatever you're selling or putting out to the world. It has to be what you are and what you're selling. And Shopify is your commerce expert. With world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and much more beyond that. Shopify helps all businesses of all sides.
A
Well, what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around. They're always around to share advice and their award winning 24. 7 customer support.
B
You can tackle all those important tasks in one place. From inventory to payments to analytics and so much more.
A
Talk about the purple button.
B
Did we mention that purple button, Bobby? No, because that purple shop pay button, it's used by millions of businesses around the world. It's why Shopify has the best. The best converting checkout on the planet. It also helps boost conversions, meaning less carts are going to go abandoned and more sales for you.
A
It's time to turn those what ifs into Cha Ching with Shopify today.
B
You can sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com Bad
A
Friends go to shopify.com Bad Friends.
B
You heard it right from my friend. That's shopify.com Bad Friends Blue Chew.
A
I'm 54 years old, all right? And I'm going to say right this right now, and I'm not, you know, embarrassed to admit it. It's harder for me to get up.
B
Upstairs.
A
Yeah, upstairs. Yeah.
B
Little leg.
A
And sometimes you want to go upstairs. When the time is right.
B
When the time is right, you want to go upstairs.
A
I mean, you find a lover, right? And I'm telling you right now, and I 100% endorse BlueChew. It saved me.
B
You love it.
A
I love it so much. Right, Carlos? Yeah, it's the best.
B
It's time to level up. And bluechew just dropped something crazy. We're talking next level championship belt. Gold plated energy. Bluechew gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable ed brand.
A
This ain't your grandpa's little blue pill. This is the four in one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance. We're talking about two ingredients for blood flow to keep that rocket pumping.
B
Mixed with apomorphine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal and connection in your brain and body.
A
That's what I was gonna say, dude.
B
I know. Yeah, I know. This is peak passion and peak performance in a single tablet. Bobby has been chewing bluechew for quite a long time now. And I've heard no complaints, no complaints from anybody else. Bluechew gold dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes. That means you can get it on quicker and stay in the Game longer elevation without hesitation. Forget about all that other stuff that you know about. Bluechew is the only one that you need to use to keep that pipe flowing.
A
We got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code Bad Friends.
B
That's promo Code bad friends. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast and helping Bobby stay rock hard.
A
Talk Space therapy is so important, guys. Every Thursday at 4 o', clock, I do therapy. All right? Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere.
B
Here's the thing, man. We all need to talk to somebody.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, I. I don't think you should keep anything bottled up. And sometimes it's hard to talk to your partner. Sometimes it's harder to talk to your parents or your friends. You just kind of want to get it off your chest to a, you know, just a nonpartisan party. And Talkspace makes help convenient for you. You can take these appointments from anywhere you are. Your car, your house, your, your tub, your backyard, it doesn't matter. They give high quality care that's backed by science.
A
Yeah, like, I think it changed my life. And also with my therapist, you know, I mean, I can talk to somebody, you know, about what's going on, you know, dealing with your trauma and whatnot. I think Talkspace is so important.
B
Well, Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a zero dollar copay. So you gotta try it. As a listener to this podcast, you're gonna get $80 off your first month with Talkspace. When you go to talkspace.com bad friends and enter promo code SPACE80.
A
That's SPACE80. S P A C E80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com bad Friends and enter promo code SPACE80. Why do you want to make it a joke?
B
Because it is a joke.
A
It's a def jam.
B
Yeah, kind of.
A
No, no, no. We do it. I'm being real.
C
Okay.
A
We make a real app first thing in the. First thing in the morning where it's just natural pictures of people.
B
Yeah.
A
Where people really know who. What you look like.
B
But the problem I have is.
A
Okay, tell me.
B
If you let them upload multitudes of photos, they are going to try to manipulate those to look better as time goes. So that's my point. If you have one photo, that's all you get. That's how you engage. That's more interesting to me to go. That's the one thing I have to work with. Let me go from there. Otherwise, people are going to try to make those other photos look better. They're going to. They're going to find a way to look as sexy as they can first thing in the morning.
A
Yeah, but you can.
B
You just have to upload one a day.
A
One a day.
B
It goes into your life. That's what I'm saying. So upload every day. You have to upload every day.
A
And you can keep the one that you liked three days ago and sure not upload.
B
Pin it.
A
You can pin it. You can pin it, you can pin it. Okay, good, good, good. All right, good, good. Yeah, yeah.
B
And then what's.
A
How do you start it?
B
We'll get an app guide. By the way, there's an app guy listening to our pod development as we speak.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
And he's like, got it. I'm gonna make a billion dollars.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
We should hire someone to develop that app.
A
Yeah.
B
First thing. And we've talked about it too much.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
So.
A
AI, I honestly think it's a good idea.
B
It's a very good idea.
A
Yeah. Don't you think it's a good idea natural? Yeah, yeah. Because we've been deceived, you know?
B
I mean, how about this one?
C
Deceiving you?
A
No, no. You've, like, roll up to a house, you see them walking out of the house, and you just drive away. That's happened before.
C
I've gone out with them.
A
Me, too. I've done that, too. Horrible. You're like, come on in.
B
Now I see these stories.
A
Star Wars, AI Movie, Wonka, Wonka, Wonka.
B
How come I see these stories online of so many of these women being stood up on these dates? Is this bullshit, though? Is this bullshit? Because I see these Tiktoks or these Instagram reels, people being like, I got stood up again. And I'm like, is this happening that much? But I feel like it's happening the other way. Girls are standing up. Dudes, for sure.
A
Yeah.
B
You've been stood up twice.
C
I've stood up more girls than not. So I've actually done it.
B
Oh, shit. Really?
A
I've done it through scheduling. I've done it. Yeah.
C
Flaking. Yeah.
A
No, not flaking. I just. Scheduling. What do you mean? What's the difference? Like, something comes up, like, you know. Oh, a fake thing.
B
I got one more dating app for us.
A
I'll give me Another one.
B
I don't feel so good. That's what it's called. I don't feel so good.
A
You see them at that worst and when they're sick. Oh, that's a good one.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't feel so good.
A
Yeah.
B
So the whole. The purpose.
A
Oh, let's go all the way.
B
Yeah.
A
Diseases, too.
B
Diseases.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Can you take a look at this? That's what it's called.
A
Yeah.
B
Does this look bad to you?
A
Tumors.
B
Tumors. Tumors. Website.
A
Yeah, Tumors.
B
Do you have tumors?
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah, I do, too.
A
Yeah.
B
Honestly, I. I think I'm. I think a sick one. Where. Where the photos of you are when you have been very sick are very. It's very funny because what you look like when you're sick, that's the. That's way worse than first thing in the morning.
A
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
B
Because when you're sick, you look the worst.
A
Yeah, I don't know. I don't. I don't know. Yeah, Yeah, I think. Yeah, I know.
B
I'm experimenting.
A
I know you are. First in the morning.
B
I'm an app developer.
A
Yeah, yeah. First. Yeah, first.
B
All right. First thing in the morning, we'll take.
A
Yeah, I like that way. Yeah.
B
Someone is doing. Yeah, you know that. What's up, dog?
A
Is that All Saints? What are you wearing there, Mike?
B
Oh, see, he's interested in the clothes already.
A
Oh, you like this? Yeah, I like the fit. Because I don't.
C
This is my merch.
A
Oh, this is your merch?
C
Yeah.
A
Really good fit, dude.
C
Thank you, bro.
A
The pants, too.
C
This is puma. Oh, I rock. Puma. Nothing but puma. And then the shirt says, buildings don't fall like that.
A
Yeah. Wow. Yeah.
C
Which is just a fun 9, 11. You get it?
A
Yeah.
C
You got YouTube.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a YouTube guy.
B
You know, buildings don't fall like that.
A
They don't.
C
I think it's important to talk
A
and
C
laugh about it now. First of all, it used to be funny. Now it's just too true.
B
Yeah, yeah. People.
C
Too much. People know.
B
We found out all the conspiracy theories turned out to be real.
C
Yeah.
B
QAnon is. Was correct on almost everything they predicted.
C
They nailed it.
B
Pizza. Pizza. Pizza.
C
Honestly, I was. I was nailing it the last 12 years. Hammered, drunk at most bars.
B
Yeah. You were telling people the truth.
C
Now I'm like, I'm calling people. Like, dude, I was right the whole time.
A
Yeah, yeah. I'm still on your fit, though.
C
Yeah, yeah.
B
He loves the shoes.
C
Pum also.
A
Yeah, yeah. White. Brand new.
C
No, I Keep them clean. I got some dirt. I get the same ones dirty.
A
Yeah, yeah. You look good today, man.
C
Thank you, bro. Insinuating I look bad most days.
B
No, not.
A
No, no, no, wait. I'm sorry. No, no, that's what I was insin. Awkward.
B
It is.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just saying. I was giving you a compliment.
C
Thank you, bro.
A
How nice you look today.
C
Thank you.
A
That's all it was.
B
Cincinnati's finest. Cincinnati, right?
C
Oh, yeah.
B
Cincinnati.
C
Yeah. We're a couple of Midwest boys that attended a great university in the desert.
B
That's right, dude.
C
Phoenix, Arizona State. Go Devil.
B
That's his. That's his mother. Is his mother's home now.
C
Really? What are her cross streets? Tell him if I was going to focus on one of the windows in the home, which would I.
A
That's a good one.
C
Thank you.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like Asian ladies?
C
You know what? I got one at the crib right now.
A
You.
C
Really?
A
Yeah. Your girlfriend's Asian?
C
Yeah.
A
Do I know her?
C
No, she's. I don't date other comics.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
C
I try not to. I. I don't. I actually act.
A
Do you full blooded or know her?
C
Do I know her?
A
You know what? Honestly, I see Mike at the com all the time.
B
I know you guys all know each other.
A
You're right. Right. So you. I mean, there could have.
C
You know what? We live close to your hood. I live by K town. So.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
C
I drive home sometime and we don't know each other too well, but I'm always like, what if I just turned and saw Bobby Lee just getting a handy in the alley? Yeah.
B
Y.
C
He might Town.
A
Yeah.
B
It's more likely he's over there eating Korean barbecue.
A
Barbecue.
C
Yeah. Which is not the same thing.
B
Sometimes it is.
A
Is she full blooded or half.
C
She is full blooded. She is not your. This is my. First of all, she's not Korean. I want to say that.
A
That's fine. Yeah.
C
Which is. But which I love because.
B
Yeah, we love that.
C
I want more because you guys are like elite Asians.
B
That's right.
A
You see that again?
C
You're elevated as.
A
Can you see that again, please?
C
You're elite Asians. You're aware of this, right?
A
Thank you.
C
There's a. There are rankings. The Asians know.
B
Is she Chinese? No, she's.
C
Oh, that's also not Phillips.
B
You go on Filipino.
C
No, you're in the.
A
You're the ocean.
C
Stay on land. Getting closer.
B
Thai.
C
There was a. There was a. Yeah.
A
Give us some hit.
C
Yeah. There was a similar war to Korea. Cambodian Brother, you don't know. This is tough. Do you know you went straight to Cambodia?
A
Pretty.
C
I teach out there. There was a similar war. Stay.
A
Stay in. Stay in the game.
C
Cambodia.
A
No, no. All right, good. Let's stay in the game. All right, all right. We did Family Feud. We lost the Flavor Flav.
B
That was rigged.
A
Okay. That's what you're dealing with, though, okay?
B
Yeah.
C
Not Laotian, not Cambodian, not Thai. All right, so you said Thai. Filipino.
A
Okay. Give us another. A hint, please.
C
Phenomenal culinary stuff. Really good. And, like, a huge. A huge Vietnamese.
A
Vietnam.
C
Yes. Like a very popular dish.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Now, that wasn't much of a war, brother.
C
I think we won.
B
Yeah.
C
You know, I like to tell people.
A
Yeah.
C
And that's why I always say our relationship, if it ends, I'm gonna tell everybody we won.
A
What's your favorite. Favorite Vietnam movie, you think?
C
My favorite rom com is Hamburger Hill. I stick around for that. I stick around for the end.
A
Yeah.
C
No, I don't know. I probably, like. I probably. They're all pretty depressing. There's none letter.
A
Like. Yeah.
C
What's the Full Metal Jacket?
A
Classic.
B
So Full Metal Jacket might be one of the best movies of all time.
C
You think? That's a tough. That's a bold.
B
I love that movie.
C
It's such a. It's such a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine with that Uber.
B
It's a dark, beautiful movie. It's. It says a lot.
C
And then I'm like, almost. I'm 39, so when I watched that movie growing up, that was such a. The first time you see a movie where you're like, yo, what the.
B
What the. Yeah.
C
Like, halfway through, you're like, what? There's more movie?
A
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm not joining the military.
C
Yeah.
B
Oh, my God.
C
Well, I'm from the Midwest, so you.
A
When you. When I saw that as a kid, I was like, I don't think I'm gonna join the military.
C
No.
A
The first half, a full metal jack leg, you're like, I can't deal with that.
C
Yeah.
A
Screaming.
B
Yeah. No.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Me waking up at a certain hour. Get up, it's 2pm
B
how close were you to joining the military out of high school?
C
And I wasn't. But I'm like, that's what I say about the Midwest. You either leave the Midwest at 18, you die in the Middle East. Yeah, right.
B
It's true.
A
Real good slogan. Yeah.
C
That's the. That's my other merch. Yeah. It's in camouflage, so doesn't so many
B
Midwest people that a lot of our friends. Yeah. I think, like, they go for the Midwest first.
C
Yeah. We're easy. I think that we are very American. Proud.
B
Very American. Yes.
C
So I say I didn't go, but a lot of my good friends joined. A couple of homies passed away and I know. Yeah. That's. Honestly, that was my original origin. Comedy stories. My buddy passed away when I was 21. I was like. I hit the family up. I was like, yo, I gotta speak at his funeral. I had the preacher crying and laughing, and that was the first time I was like, yo, I can do something with this.
B
Yeah.
C
If I got people cracking up at a funeral.
B
Yeah.
C
Because I was 21 and that. Nobody knows anybody more at that age than your friends. You know what I mean? Your parents and your family don't know you.
A
My dog died last Saturday. Maybe you should have showed up.
C
Yeah, I would. I would crush, chuckle, cry. Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
Well, super funny. First of all, I told the story. I told the story the other night about you flirting with the vet tech that came to put your dog.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean, that's amazing that the guy's dog is dying and the vet comes and he's. He's trying to.
A
Yeah.
C
He timed out the Bluetooth snort at a bad time. He's like, daddy's rock hard. You took the wrong pill.
B
Goodbye, Remy. Hello, Mommy. Insane.
C
Hey, we all mourn differently.
B
That's exactly right. That's. But I gave him credit.
A
Yeah.
B
You're vulnerable.
A
Yeah. As a California boy.
C
Do you think I'm a. I don't think. I know.
A
You think I am, though. You think I'm a little weaker. My strand.
C
Because you're California.
A
Yeah. Yeah. I'm San Diego boy, Louisiana. Most of my life. Southern California.
C
I think my generalization on my worldview is yes.
A
Oh, you think that this is just
C
because you're from SoCal? Oftentimes.
B
Now, if he was from SoCal and he was Mexican. Different.
C
Come on. Different story, different stuff. You have no East LA in you.
B
That's right.
A
I'll go. What do I have in me?
C
You've got west. Got a lot of garden. Some Garden Grove in you. Maybe some oc.
A
Yeah. Okay.
C
Okay.
A
Okay.
C
You've got some nice Anaheim areas, right?
A
Boba. There's some Boba in my story. Yeah.
B
He's a lot more Montebello.
A
You know what I mean?
C
Yeah.
B
Yeah. He doesn't, though. He's rocking when he starts rocking.
C
This is deep. SoCal.
B
Don't come and knock him. Dude, this guy he'll go nuts.
A
I'll go nuts on you guys anyway. Yeah, there's some suburb in me, too. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Mall life. My life.
B
A lot of mall.
A
Yeah.
C
Oh, I like.
B
You know what?
C
I'm not above mall life. You know, people watching.
A
Okay, good, good, good, good.
B
San Diego.
A
But you think in a war. No, because I think he started something with me.
B
Okay. Yeah. Him up.
A
You think in a war like situation. I am much older than.
B
Than you are much.
A
Yeah, yeah.
C
But you think they're not recruiting you?
A
Yeah, yeah. Not now.
C
Sure.
A
Yeah. But back in my day, we're the same age. You think that you would stand. You. You would be tougher and more resilient in a warlike situation?
C
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
C
I mean, dude, I used to crush laser tag. I mean.
A
Oh, right, right. Okay, good, good.
C
I could dodge and stuff like that
A
because I took third when I did the VR Boom. I mean, sandbox.
C
You got the laser.
A
The last one, I got number one. But I was with, you know, I mean, Jules and that. Yeah, but maybe you're right. Yeah.
B
This guy, he'll cheat at an escape room. He's so clever. Yeah, he's good.
A
Yeah. I'll do it twice and then take a date on it and go, oh, no, this is how you do it.
B
But that's what's so good about you, is that's why Bobby would be good in wartime.
A
Yeah.
B
He would find a way.
A
I find a way to live and survive. That's selfish, though.
B
So what?
A
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
C
It depends on your perspective on what's good at work. Kills or survival. Yeah, Surviving.
A
Yeah. I always thought that in a war movie, right.
B
You and I would be dead.
C
We'd be dead.
A
Yeah.
C
But we'd get a couple kills.
B
100.
A
Yeah. I get no kills. But your dead bodies would. I'd be. You'd be on me.
C
Yeah.
B
I never thought that you would pull me over.
A
Yeah, right. Yeah. Two dead bodies and just pretend I'm dead like that.
C
I'm dying to murder Suey.
A
Dude.
C
I'd kill a guy and be like, dude, I can't.
B
That's.
C
I can't go on.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, my legs would be blown off and I'd get a few hits and then be like, I gotta get out.
A
Yeah.
B
I can't go.
A
But in a Forrest Gump situation, you know, I mean, my legs blown off, would you come and get me and drag me or. No, I would get you.
C
You'd seem the most carryable.
A
That's a very good.
B
You're a thinker well, post. Wegovy. Yes.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Post. We'll go Virgo.
C
A little bit harder.
A
A little harder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Speaking of which, that Tom Hanks threw me. I saw on the. This morning Jim Ursay, the old owner of the cult Colts. Sure, you're a big fan.
C
He's passed away.
B
You're a big football fan.
C
Yeah, yeah.
B
He sold. You're gonna love this, dude. You're gonna. It's gonna blow your mind. He had the biggest collection of sports and whatever memorabilia that you've ever seen in your life. He has a fucking. A guitar of Hendrix. He's got Dylan's guitar. He's got. This guy had. Look at this collection. And I brought. They saw it's. It's up for live auction. Oh, dude. The collection this guy had is so unbelievable. Yeah, it's gonna blow. He's got the lyrics of fucking hey jude handwritten by McCartney. I mean, really, the collection is. Explore the 3D space I want. Or. Or whatever. Go through it.
C
And he's got John's passive aggressive corrections on there, too.
B
Exactly.
C
That's a deep Beatles.
B
Not what we.
C
For all the people that watch all four episodes.
B
It was so good. Yeah, but look at that. Wow. Hold on, hold on. Oh, wait. There we go. So a lot of rock and roll, but not. No, but dude, he had. He had Ali. Ali's robe that he wore out, slugger.
C
Oh, really?
B
Hunter S. Thompson. That's Hunter S. Thompson's car.
A
That's amazing.
B
That's the saddle from. What's the horse. That one. That's the. That's a secret secretary. That's the. That's the original script that Rocky was written in.
A
That.
C
That incredible dude, you know? So Stallone probably wrote it on a typewriter and then wrote it down. Just be like, what I did.
B
Jack Kerouac's typescript scroll of. Of on the Road. Kerouac's book on the Road on.
C
Wow, that's a weird one.
B
No, that's amazing. That book is so good.
A
Amazing.
B
This guy's got so, like, this is the kind of. But I. I met. Yeah. Gretzky's jersey from his 500.
C
Oh, damn.
B
Keep going. The guy.
C
That's a lot of value there, too.
A
A lot of value there.
B
I think they said some of it is. You can't price it. Oh, this is the one that you would have loved, too. Which one Smells like Teen Spirit? Kurt's guitar from Smells like Teen Spirit.
A
Yeah.
B
Really? The actual.
C
From like the video or like from
A
the video from the Video? Yeah. From the video, right? Yeah, yeah.
B
Johnny Cash's D21 acoustic.
C
Dude.
A
Yeah. I don't know if I had the money that I would do that.
B
If you had his money? Yes. You.
A
No, I wouldn't.
B
Bobby, the guy was worth billions. What are you going to do with it? You of all people love music.
A
Yeah.
B
You wouldn't go buy Cobain's left handed Fender Mustang?
A
How much is it?
B
He. It's not priced down there. It's a bit. It's forbidding. Oh.
C
Estimate is crazy. Is that 2 to 5 mil?
B
2.5 to 5. It's either 2.5 million to 5 million. That's a big.
C
That's crazy.
A
I think maybe. Yeah, you're right. That one I want you.
C
Would you do on specific things.
B
Clapton's the fool. Gibson, look at how.
A
But like Janice Joplin's toenail. I don't know what $5. But yeah, yeah.
C
You want things that are personal.
A
Yeah, yeah. Okay. If you had certain things I wouldn't buy.
B
You had unlimited funds, Mike, what would you buy?
C
I would do some weird, like I'm a big hip hop guy, but I don't know, I'd like get the NPC player that Dilla did some stuff on maybe or something like that or like some Tribe Called Quest shit. I don't know.
A
Low end theory. Good album.
C
Great album. You know.
B
You know what? I always thought that I would love people's addictive travels too, but.
A
Yeah.
B
You know what I always thought I would love the carpets that are in recording rooms that go underneath the musical instruments to muffle the sound. Yeah. I want one of those carpets.
C
Yeah.
B
Someone powerful.
A
Oh, that's cool.
B
To put in my house because. Because these things, they sit on a shelf and a thing. This. I'd want the carpet.
A
Yeah.
B
To be my carpet in my house.
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah.
A
I want the carpet from the Menendez killings. The parents bedroom.
C
Yeah.
A
I always wonder that. How much is that?
B
I want the duvet cover. It's beautiful.
C
Yeah, beautiful stuff.
B
Miles Davis's trumpet. I mean get.
A
I don't know what.
C
I like the sports stuff too. And then I'm a big movie guy. Wouldn't you like like things from mov movies?
B
Well, like what's something from a famous film that like moved you?
C
Or like the gun that Vincent D' Onofrio blasted his head off 20 minutes into full metal.
B
That's awesome.
A
That's a fun one.
B
That's a fun.
C
That is actually a weird thing. It's dark. I went immediately. Dark but pretty.
A
I Got one. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. I mean, we're walking here. That car that he slapped.
C
Oh, the taxi.
A
Midnight Cowboy, Right. Hey, we're walking here.
C
You know what I mean?
A
That car I'd buy. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
B
You know what else he had the original. He had the original volleyball from Castaway. No, he had Will.
C
Really?
A
Really?
B
That's. Yeah, he has some movie stuff in there that was pretty cool.
A
That's pretty cool.
B
Like the. Oh, you know, I showed you the photo and I think we can say it. It doesn't matter. But over at Spade's house, I got emotional because in the hallway as Farley's jacket and dude, it's even looking at which jacket.
C
Fat guy on a little coat jacket or what?
A
No, a jacket when he was three years old.
C
That one, right?
A
Yeah, yeah, that jacket.
B
The Tommy boy. Jack.
A
Tommy Joe Jack.
B
Yeah. How much is it?
A
Sorry, Mike, I'm bombing.
B
I like that.
C
He's tanking the room.
B
101 grand it sold for.
A
Wow.
C
And then now this image has conspiracy theory stuff all over it too.
B
Does it?
C
Oh, yeah.
A
Don't tell me one.
B
No, let's.
C
Well, like, that image is something that is on a lot of celebrities shirts. It's something very similar to that. And that is something that they now with the Epstein stuff coming out is like attached to that.
B
What?
C
Well, yeah, connect that to like there's some weird conspiracies.
B
Turner, open us up, dude. Open my mind.
C
I mean, there's some. Yeah. Oh, baseless. I don't know.
A
It's baseless.
C
Pedophilia myths.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
Way Pop culture trivia. The. The original heavily damaged Wilson prop in the film was sold in auction for $308,000, confirming its high status in pop culture rather than any hidden sinister meaning. This sounds like AI is trying to convince us of.
A
Yeah.
B
Why would they say that? You said it. I didn't.
C
Yeah, you brought this up. Yeah.
B
Come on.
C
Like, Ellen has a shirt with the. Jay Z has a shirt with it. It's tough stuff.
B
Ellen.
C
Yeah.
B
Is she gone? What did she do? Did she leave? Didn't she get mad at Trump and left the country?
C
One of my. Honestly, growing up, one of my favorite. Stand up.
B
Yeah.
C
What did she stand up?
A
She's a great show. The early ones are so good.
C
So good.
A
Yeah.
C
Now you're like, oh, she's a mom.
A
Remember the deer antler bit? The deer antler bit on the wall. Didn't she have a bit like that?
C
Maybe I just remember the slipping and falling one.
A
Oh, that's a Good one. Yeah, yeah.
B
No, I like the elevator button.
A
Yeah.
C
That's how good. There's like three.
A
There's a lot of good buttons.
B
Yeah, I already. Already pushed it.
A
Yeah.
B
It might make it come faster. I love that. That's such a stupid idea.
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah. She was great. And then she just. Now she's gone.
C
Yeah. I mean, the Ann Hess death, I think she got.
A
I think she got two.
C
You know that. Oh, yeah, she died on a. A car that all of a sudden went speeding through Brentwood or something like that. And then she was pronounced dead on the scene. But if you. There's a video of her going to the ambulance where she physically gets out of the gun.
B
It's crazy.
C
That's insane.
B
She wakes up for a second, then they push her back down. It's creepy. Creepy.
A
Whoa.
C
That is where her last words were. Cast away. Should have won the Oscar. So that's the whole thing.
A
That's full circle.
C
Yeah.
A
So, Mike, where can we see your special?
C
It's on YouTube. Yeah.
A
When did you release it on.
C
You know what? I did. Yeah. So I filmed it on New Year's and then I'm familiar with the Asian culture and I dropped it on Lunar New Year. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Vietnamese. I don't know what you. Your culture says, but happy, happy belated lunar.
A
Thank you.
C
And. And so, yeah, it's on YouTube, on my Michael Turner comedy on YouTube. And then, yeah, just dropped it. I filmed it at Fort Collins on New Year's Eve. I've never seen anybody film a special on New Year's Eve. And I was like, you know what? I like keeping things loose. I'm like, loose but tight with my bits.
A
Yeah.
C
And New Year's is a very combative night sometimes.
A
Yeah.
C
I thought it'd be fun. Shout out to Fort.
A
Congratulations.
C
Thank you, man. Yeah. Self funded and it's all me, so.
A
Well, Michael Turner is a very, very, very funny. Stand up. He's up and coming. We. We love him here at Bad Friends and go check out his special on YouTube.
B
Also, by the way, do a great. You do a great job. For people that are sports fans. You are a sports fan. But specific sports fans. Have you ever done it at a soccer game?
C
I.
B
No, because he's a die hard. Soccer.
C
Really?
B
That's interesting you would do it for you.
A
Wait, wait, what's that? Why?
C
Well, I don't know. I just don't meet a lot of soccer fans in America.
A
Okay, good. Very good.
B
Yeah.
C
Good counter.
A
Am I being Mike? I just want to Let you. I know you're blushing, but I. I quit smoking a couple days ago, so I'm a little agitated. Yeah, I know it comes across. I was like as I'm being combative. Right. But it's just me full of anxiety.
C
I said, oh, interesting. He said, why the. Is it interesting?
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's what that funny have. Yeah, yeah. So I apologize. It's. Yeah, yeah, I apologize.
B
No, you're doing fine.
C
You're doing great.
A
Yeah, yeah.
C
And I don't say it enough. I'm proud of you.
B
See?
A
Thank you so much, Mike.
C
Yeah, yeah.
B
I told you he was proud of you.
A
Yeah. Thank you. So.
B
No, he does interviews outside of football games and they're very, very funny, brother. And it's usually, it's a little bit of nagging. It's. But it's. But it's light ribbing in a way that people would really love that like sports.
C
And it's some like. I know enough about out the opposing team to make fun of them, but also be aware. I'm a fan of bad sports teams too. So it's like you can make fun of me too. So it's fun. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm sorry, brother. Cincinnati Bengals.
B
God bless the Bangles.
C
Arizona State. Sun Devils, Phoenix Suns, Arizona State.
B
Not that you would give a whatsoever. We literally played a men's basketball game two days ago and lost 45 points. I think.
C
I think it was 50 points.
B
Yeah. Pretty cool.
C
And Bob Hilly was like, I'm out. I'm done.
B
Can you imagine this in soccer would be losing like 12 to nil. Yeah, it. That's how big of a get in men's basketball? Losing by 50. Alarming, unheard of. It's. It's like a. It's like even the players who were winning were like, are you guys okay?
C
Yeah, we're.
B
You guys up.
C
I had friends I haven't heard of in years being like, you good dog. You all right, bro?
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
You need some help?
C
But I do. I like. I like sports, drinking, beer, talking. And so I go to sports games and sporting events and then I do a tour around it every year. So. So that's my. That's. You got to be a self starter in comedy, as you guys know, so. Just started doing well.
A
You're doing well. You're on. You're here, aren't you?
C
This is great. Yeah. I appreciate you guys putting me on the plane.
B
Oh, we're proud to have you on.
C
Those are great. Yeah. You guys have always Been very kind to me, so I appreciate it.
A
Let's. Can I be honest with you?
B
Oh, oh, careful. Settle in.
A
Yeah, I want to settle in. Let's be real.
B
Yeah. Say what you need to say.
A
I don't think I have been that kind to you.
C
That's fair.
A
No, I, I, I, I. I don't think that I've given you enough time of myself. I think I'm. Let's be honest with you. I think that I've been in and out with you. I think. I don't know. I'll just. Because I think it's the. No, the, the jonesing that I'm. I'm feeling, but I feel a little vulnerable right now.
B
You're saying in general, right?
A
I think in general, I, I bypass him a lot at the store, and I don't really take the time to say hi.
C
I think that you.
A
Let's be honest. Let's get that. Let's get it on the table.
C
You are an interesting guy to me because I know you and I are, Are good friends. When I see you. It's always love and say whatever. And so sometimes, like, I remember initially when you guys started the pot, I was like, oh, Bobby would probably be cool to me. And we've, we've had, we've had some back and forth. You know what it is, though?
A
Yeah.
C
I'm just who I am. I'm from the Midwest. I'm just a dude that's from Cincinnati. And I remember one of our first interactions. This is probably something that's not shocking to either of you. I think you, like, tried to high kick me.
A
Yeah.
C
And like. And like, speaking of soccer, being a soccer fan. Now I know you're just a soccer fan.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
He tried to.
A
Yeah, I think that's what it was.
C
Liu Kang, me.
A
Yeah.
C
He tried to bike kick me. I was like, dude, I've seen Mortal Kombat and I've got a couple of Asian stereotypes. I can kick at you too. I understand that, but I'm above that.
A
But that's what I remember. My relationship with you. It's not like. It's more like a violence.
C
Well, so.
A
Yeah. And so I. I want to change.
C
Yeah.
A
No, no.
C
Today's the day we're buddies with the same people. I. Ramsay's a good buddy of mine.
A
Yeah. We talked about him.
B
Clarify something.
A
Okay. Okay.
B
He will only kick you if he likes you.
C
So now knowing, like, seeing some.
B
Am I right, everyone? I do think.
A
And let's just get that out of the way.
C
I Think about that now, in hindsight.
A
And was it. Was it high? High? It was high.
C
It was impressive.
A
That's a good one.
C
And this is pre GOP thing.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's because I like it.
C
So again, now I know that.
A
Yeah, yeah.
C
I was like, newer to la, and I was. I'm just not the type of cat that'd be like, that was cool.
A
Yeah.
C
And I didn't say anything, but I probably gave you body language, was like, yo, that wasn't.
A
Nah. Oh, I think that's what I read. I mean, that's what I read. And I was like, not. I. I said not myself.
C
Yes.
A
Because I didn't like your reaction.
C
100.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, who the is. It's a headliner.
B
You.
A
I don't see his name on the wall. You know what I mean?
C
But then I don't. I don't bend the knee and I don't.
A
I know you don't. And you know what? And now we have an understanding. Yeah, yeah, right. But the next time I high kick, you die.
C
I'm grabbing it.
A
Okay.
C
You know what I'm saying? Maybe a ddt.
A
Okay.
B
Okay. His girlfriend. He's been training for years.
A
She's Vietnamese.
C
Her family's all Vietnamese.
B
There's tr.
C
I've been to. I've been to the house. You know how battle tested I am. You ever party with some Vietnamese people? I know what the. To do.
B
Wait, this is interesting. Interesting because you. I want just a quick perspective share of where in the overlap of the pie charts of you've adopted a Filipino family into your life.
C
Oh, that's interesting.
B
You've adopted a Vietnamese family into your life. I want to know what the similarities are of like. Because you live. They live at your house.
A
Yeah, they do.
B
And now you're embedded into their life.
C
Yeah. We've lived together for.
B
What are the. Do you have. There are moments where.
A
Let me ask. All right. Can they. Can they sleep anywhere?
C
Yes, she could.
A
Yeah.
C
Sleep anywhere.
A
Yeah, yeah. That's a similarity.
B
In the kitchen, on the floor.
A
They sleep everywhere. They do.
B
They just fall asleep when they.
A
I'll just. I'll just go. Right, right. It's just jewels on a chair, sleeping like this.
C
I mean, can they eat like the.
A
Anything.
C
Anything?
A
Yeah.
C
And. And like, in amounts that are alarming.
A
Yeah, yeah, I've. I've done this. Like. I'll get two Jersey Mike sandwiches. Yeah, right.
B
Two.
A
Yeah.
B
You're eating two.
A
No, I don't eat them all the same. I have an emergency one.
B
Oh, first of all.
C
Good, good check on that.
A
Yeah, that's craz. It's crazy.
C
I'm a huge guy. That's nuts.
A
Yeah, yeah. I'll get two, right? And I'll do an emergency one.
B
That's smart.
A
Yeah, yeah. And I'll keep that in the fridge, right. And then it'll be there for like, I don't know how long. And they'll eat it.
B
They'll eat.
A
If they're after like a week.
B
A week.
A
Yeah, yeah. They'll still eat it. The.
C
I. I know.
B
And they'll eat the wrapper too. They won't eat.
C
They don't waste. They're very nut.
B
Was.
A
They don't waste.
C
Yeah, they don't waste. Well, and then. Are they actually from the Philippines and now live here?
A
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
So she's okay. Yeah, well, you know how it is.
A
I want to high kick you so bad. I just want to high kick you so bad right now.
B
Dude, it's your girlfriend from.
C
So half her family is from Vietnam, but she was born in Cali, so she has a. She's more of.
A
Oh, mine's from the actual.
B
You know.
A
Yeah, yeah.
C
Well, half her family is. And I party with them a lot and we kick it a lot.
A
And they're great.
C
They've. I've never had more support in my life. But if you cross them the most.
A
You never cross.
C
It's the most combative.
B
Right. So if this relationship, which I hope it never does, go south, you need to leave the country. Country.
C
You know, what's funny is if it hits, it'd be so. It'd be so cold and icy that it'd be no interaction ever again. It'd be dead in a way that would hurt more than if it was combat.
B
I got you. I got. You know, as if it was with a white girl. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But this is like.
C
This is.
A
Yeah.
C
And also Southeast Asia. Both Philippines. That's the other crossover in Southeast Asia. But Filipinos are obviously on the island. Yeah, but Vietnamese are there. That's a kind of that. That energy is a little similar. I've always found Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Filipinos. Is that fair?
A
It is fair. I'm dating a hippie white. And hippie whites though, right? I.
B
This is your first hippie white.
A
Yeah, yeah.
C
Hippie whites are different.
A
They're different. They're a lot more like Asians.
C
In what way?
A
They'll eat anything.
C
Well, that's cuz they're high.
A
Is that why?
C
That's the weed.
A
I see. That's the weed.
B
But also hippie whites are like Asians in this. Trying to find in the Zen.
A
Way
C
closer to Buddhism.
B
Yeah, right.
C
The Catholicism.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
And this hipp.
A
You'll leave the room and. And they're doing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that. Yeah, yeah.
B
And this hippie Asian has coached.
A
I got, you know, has coached it.
C
It is interesting that you're open minded to other Asians, though. Usually other Asians hate other Asians.
B
Yeah.
C
Which is fun.
A
What?
C
Like, I. I know, like, Koreans don't like Chinese.
A
That's ab. That's absolutely not true.
C
Well, all right.
A
Yeah, yeah. All right. I love all the Asians.
B
Except for.
C
This is you.
B
I.
A
What?
B
Except for what? Which one?
A
Indians.
C
You can always get one.
A
I'm totally kidding. No, I love everybody.
B
He's kidding.
A
I'm kidding. Look in the mic. Look in there and go. Thank you for being a bad friend.
B
Well, first of all, we want to thank Mike for coming.
A
Yeah, I already did that.
C
I.
A
We already plugged this.
B
You did?
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just. I have to go.
B
Got a date.
C
Got to. Oh, really?
A
With the hippie girl? Yeah, yeah.
C
Proud of you.
A
Yeah, yeah. I got to go.
C
Thank you for being a bad friend. Is that what I said it again?
A
Feel good.
C
Thank you for being a bad friend.
B
Love it.
A
Yeah. I don't know when this episode comes out, right, but the towels were not done.
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
B
After all of this?
A
After all of that.
B
We did an entire episode about towels.
A
About it. The towels were not done. Three in the morning last night. I texted Jules. I go, where are my towels? Right? And she goes, I'm going to Hawaii. She went clubbing too. She went clubbing for three hours.
B
Maybe the. The merch will be your towels at some point. Use some of our merch.
A
Maybe. But she did not do the power insane. All right. Your next chapter in healthcare starts at
B
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C
Edu Sci Fi.
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Guest: Michael Turner
Original Air Date: April 6, 2026
This episode revolves around the fallout of a hilariously awkward encounter between Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino at The Comedy Store, sparking a wider conversation about friendship boundaries, comedic etiquette, and the ever-blurring lines between business partners and genuine companionship. The duo is joined by comedian Michael Turner, with the trio touching on topics like addiction, dating apps, AI’s impact on modeling, family backgrounds, memorabilia, and Asian-American cultural quirks.
This episode is quintessential Bad Friends: the chemistry and real history between Bobby and Andrew are on full display. It features a great blend of behind-the-scenes comedy shop talk, genuine emotion, and completely unhinged brainstorms (like “First Thing in the Morning” dating app). Michael Turner fits right in, bringing both Midwest heart and sharp comedic observations.
Catch it for the friendship drama, stay for the odd yet touching look at how comedians cope, connect, and constantly roast each other.