Theo Von & Rimbo The Kimchi King

Summary

Bad Friends Podcast
Episode: Theo Von & Rimbo The Kimchi King
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Guest: Theo Von
Date: March 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features comic Theo Von joining Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino for a characteristically irreverent, hilarious, and occasionally heartfelt catch-up. The trio dives into stories about stand-up, revisits absurd childhood moments, riffs on Asian representation in comedy, dreams up comedic roles for Bobby, and explores the chaos—and camaraderie—of life in comedy. There’s plenty of friendly ribbing, improvised bits, and a surprising dose of vulnerability regarding personal growth and friendship.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Theo Von’s Return & Life in Nashville

• Theo discusses living in Nashville and not planning to move back to LA (03:32).
  • “I don't think so. I'll come back more to visit more.” – Theo
  • He talks about the city’s growth and his evolving relationship with the LA comedy scene.
• Stand-up scene in Nashville: Theo highlights clubs like Zanies and City Winery, as well as the challenge of popping into shows (15:04).
• Work-life balance: Theo shares that he’s taking a break from the heavy touring hustle after being “very busy” and prepping for another special (15:49).

2. Comedian Banter & Bits: Confessions, Regrets, and Absurdity

• Tiger King’s DMs: The group jokes about being contacted by Joe Exotic (Tiger King), riffing on his crimes and possible podcast crossover (01:22).
• Animal bits: Multiple running jokes about petting cats “the wrong way” and prospective roles in “Nateland” theme park (01:33, 04:08).
• Faux-country song improv (03:02, 03:06): Rewriting stereotypical country lyrics for fun.
• The “Funk Monks”: A tangent about a fake/funky band and odd band names (06:00).
• Dreams and sleep stories: Bobby shares a dream about camping with Andrew, and the group riffs on how dreams end when you pee or spit (11:10–12:16).
• Comic confessions: Bobby admits to feeling regret over his breakup, late-night loneliness, and pondering “what could have been” (08:11–09:15).
  • “Sometimes. And I go, what could have been? I think I made some mistakes.” – Bobby (08:21)
• Playful confrontation about looks: There’s a recurring gag about Theo’s and Andrew’s looks compared to Zac Efron and Chris Hemsworth (20:05–21:00).
  • “When you really see a real good looking guy... then I look at you, I go, oh, Theo's ugly.” – Bobby (20:44)
• Asian comedian face-off: Bobby asks where he ranks among Asian comics (26:35). Theo reminisces about seeing Bobby “in the wild”—more outgoing since being single (27:44).

3. Stand-Up, Comedy Specials, and the Art of Taking Feedback

• Upcoming specials: Theo talks about retaping his special, “just wanting to get it right” and possibly filming in Erie, PA, or Jacksonville, FL (15:49–16:50).
• Bobby’s special — ‘Finally’ on Hulu: The group jokes about alternate titles (“Steve’s Brother” and “Genie’s boy”), the creative process, and naming conventions (17:24–18:09).
• Notes from other comics: They debate giving and receiving feedback, especially from “open micers,” and when to take advice seriously (38:29–39:36).
  • “Now I just—tell me you have a note for me.” – Bobby (38:32)
• Acting and auditions: They share stories of LA audition rooms, casting futilities, and the realities of being typecast (52:54–56:40).
  • “If the room was cold, I would up... I'd be just like, I'm done. I can't do it.” – Bobby (57:21)
• Comic movie pitches:
  • Bobby fantasizes about Oscar-worthy roles: the Chinese inventor of gunpowder, the “king of kimchi,” and inventing orange chicken (34:12, 41:10, 48:03).
  • “Orange Chicken Day. That's when I knew about it.” – Bobby (50:20)

4. Medication, Mental Health, and Ageing

• Mental health meds: Extended discussion of Lexapro and escitalopram, effects, and when to taper off or “switch it up” (31:23–32:20).
  • “I've been on, I think, for 17, 16 years probably…”
• Exercise and wellness: They contrast Bobby’s and Mark Wahlberg’s daily routines, joke about “young lungs,” and the need for walkers or “bed wells” (60:22).
• Smoking: Bobby confesses he’s back to smoking and struggles with not moving enough (59:53–60:22).

5. Asian Food Culture and Facetious Documentary Pitches

• Invention of kimchi & orange chicken: Absurd historical reimaginings, where Bobby would play the central, accidental inventor (41:10–44:44, 48:03–50:00).
  • “We use jars as trash cans, right? So then I was just—let's throw it away... and then I threw away salt too.” – Bobby (43:15)
• Fun with food origin stories: They riff on “Bus Boys”—Theo’s upcoming movie, and life as underdog comics (57:55–59:02).

6. Friendship, Vulnerability, and Looking Ahead

• Six-year podcast anniversary: The hosts reflect on their evolving friendship and keeping things fresh (10:19–10:49).
• Absence and reunion: Bobby and Andrew express they genuinely miss Theo since he left LA, discussing the impact of distance on their friendship (14:26).
• Heartfelt close: Theo opens up about isolation, taking inspiration from Bobby’s newfound openness, and the value of doing rather than waiting (67:28–67:50).
  • “Sometimes I'll get into spaces where I isolate and stuff. So I'm trying... not do that, you know?” – Theo (67:29)
  • Bobby: “I want to say something real... there's so much about you that I relate to. We're very similar in so many different ways.” (68:08)
  • Theo: “I love you too.” (68:54)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Ex-Girlfriend’s Baby:

  • Bobby: “I play with it. He bites my face.” (07:05)
  • Theo: “Is there any feelings when you hold it? Like, man, what are you doing, man?” (07:07)
  • Bobby: “Sometimes. And I go, what could have been? ...I think I made some mistakes.” (08:21)

• On Receiving Notes from Comics:

  • “Now I just—Tell me you have a note for me.” – Bobby (38:32)
  • “Open micers doing that a lot. Yeah, that's wild.” – Andrew (38:55)

• On Asian Representation and Competition:

  • “When it said Asians, it was him. It was the Boscos... sometimes I would beat them. Yeah, that fucking got to beat the fucking Boscos.” – Bobby (54:00, 54:27)

• On Mark Wahlberg’s Daily Schedule:

  • “When he's having his meal three is when I go to sleep.” – Bobby (61:19)
  • “Meal seven. What is he, a hobbit?” – Theo (61:47)

• On the Invention of Kimchi (Improv Scene):

  • Bobby: “I took the cabbage and threw it in the... trash cans... And then the trash guy doesn't pick it up for a long, long time... I pull it out, I take a bite, I go, delicious.” (43:13–44:44)

• Genuine Friendship Beat:

  • Bobby: “There’s so much about you that I relate to. We're very similar in so many different ways. And so my heart really goes out to you all the time...” (68:08)

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Important Timestamps

• Theo on Nashville life and LA return – 03:32–04:05
• Animal/petting jokes & Nateland theme park – 01:33–04:31
• Comic dream jobs and regrets – 08:01–09:18
• Giving & Taking Notes in Comedy – 38:29–39:36
• Mark Wahlberg/Health routines – 60:33–61:47
• Inventing Kimchi/Orange Chicken bit – 41:10–50:20
• Warm-hearted close ("I love you, man") – 68:08–69:20

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Tone & Style

The episode is delivered in the rowdy, self-deprecating, and fast-paced style that defines Bad Friends. For every outlandish riff there’s a moment of real vulnerability, especially in exchanges about friendship and regret. The dynamic between Andrew, Bobby, and Theo is playful but endearing, full of inside bits, familial teasing, and honest reflections on their journeys as comics and people.

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Summary

This episode is a celebration of comedy, absurdity, and authentic friendship. With Theo Von returning, the trio embrace nostalgic reflections and new bits, improvising entire comedic films, sharing real stories of creative struggle, poking fun at themselves and each other, and ultimately reaffirming the value of connection—onscreen and off. It’s a must-listen for fans of comedy that doesn’t take itself seriously, but always keeps it real.

Transcript

[A]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[B]

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[C]

to Mint Mobile today.

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I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[D]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail]

[A]

I did Seth Rogen for some reason. We got new merch. Look at this. New Bad Friends merch. She looks good.

[B]

We love it, dude.

[A]

And we love it. It comes in this gray, this sweater. We've also got the yellow tee and the pink tea right here. Look at that. It looks great. Go to badfriendsmerch.com if you want to grab one. Bad Friends merch.com Hey, Bad Friends, I'm gonna be playing Las Vegas, Nevada at the Wynn Casino, March 21st. Please come see me. Then I'm at the Little Roadie Fest March 27 in Providence, Rhode Island. Then I'm doing the Borgata. Atlantic City in New Jersey. That's a makeup date. April 3rd. Come see me. Go to andrew santino.com for those tickets. Andrew santino.com you2 are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[B]

White dude and an Asian dude.

[D]

You two are disgusting.

[C]

You two are something.

[A]

We're bad friends.

[C]

I got a DM from Tiger King.

[A]

Isn't he in prison?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He hit us up, too. He wants to talk.

[A]

Oh, he hit us up. So we got hit up by the Tiger King as well. What do you go to prison for? Killing people. Did he kill somebody?

[C]

I think. I think petting against the fur. You know, sometimes if you pet a cat.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

If you pet back to front.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't like it. No. Yeah, it hurts. Apparently.

[A]

Two counts of murder for hire, eight counts of violating the Lacy act, and nine counts of violating the Endangered Species Act.

[C]

Okay. A little different.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And one count of petting the heading the wrong way.

[A]

Damn, dude. 21 years, 252 months.

[C]

It's like petting against the grain. It's like when you see that guy who was like, drunk driving up the interstate, you're like, what are you.

[A]

What are you doing, man? You. What are you doing on the interstate? I saw a buddy of mine I knew his girlfriend was driving to work in the morning and got hit by a guy going the other way. Just driving in the morning, drunk on the other way. Just smoked her. She's alive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know anymore. I mean, this was a while ago.

[B]

I ran over a motorcyclist.

[A]

You did?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Remember, we're in Pyongyang.

[A]

But that's just driving violation.

[B]

You know what, dude? Those stereotypes and those tropes are very true. Yeah, they are.

[C]

Have we started? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, we can.

[A]

Do you want to not start?

[C]

As long as we're going?

[B]

You want to start with a song?

[C]

You want to.

[B]

When I drink my beer.

[A]

You were singing that on weigh in. What is that drink my beer thing?

[B]

I don't know. I just get the turning point usa that one guy. Drink my beer. That's my head for 24 hours.

[A]

What is that? Oh, the super bowl halftime show. Yeah, yeah. Let me hear it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Drink my beer.

[C]

Brantley Gilbert.

[A]

Kiss my girl.

[B]

Drink my beard. Ride my truck.

[A]

I'm right here.

[B]

No.

[A]

Two queers.

[C]

Eat my squirrel.

[A]

Eat my squirrel.

[C]

Pet my cat. Starting at the back, right? That's what rocks.

[B]

You own a cat guy?

[C]

Huh? Hey, guy. I don't know the cat man.

[B]

You're a cat guy.

[A]

You don't have any animals.

[C]

I don't, but I'm gonna get some soon.

[A]

Gotta get a dog.

[C]

I'm gonna get a house and a dog.

[A]

Well, you have a house. What are you talking about?

[C]

Yeah, but I'm gonna get one that could be.

[A]

That's a little more dog appropriate in Nashville.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You'd never move back here, would you?

[C]

I don't think so. I'll come back more to visit more. I'm realizing that.

[B]

Yeah, we miss you, babe.

[C]

Miss you guys.

[A]

But you're love. You love Nashville.

[C]

I mean, it's just growing so much. It's like you're. And it just feel. It feels like a big town. So, I mean, there's.

[B]

There's all cities grow. All cities grow. They say Phoenix is growing.

[C]

Right.

[B]

When I go there, it's the same when people talk about their cities and they're growing, they all grow.

[C]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

Will you have Will?

[C]

There was a smaller city.

[A]

Yeah, it's gotten bigger. Will there be. Will there be a. A Theo section of Natland? Are you getting your own attraction at Nat Land?

[C]

I don't.

[B]

I don't know what that would be.

[C]

It'd be a petting Z. Back to front only.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love you, man.

[A]

Back to front pet And Zoo. Nateland. What's it called? Is it called Nateland? Right?

[C]

I'm not. I have no. Is that really happening?

[A]

He's opening up a theme park. That's a real thing.

[C]

I've heard rumors of it. I didn't know if it.

[A]

Oh, it's legitimately real. Look at that. Comedian neighbor Gazzi. Early stages developing a hundred plus acre family friendly theme park called Nateland in Nashville.

[C]

Good for him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you ever hang out with him?

[C]

I see Nate in passing sometimes, but he is very busy and I'm doing my thing, so it's just like, you know.

[B]

You see the trailer for his new movie?

[C]

I haven't seen it.

[B]

Yeah, I haven't seen it. Have you seen it? No.

[A]

He's got a game show. I saw that.

[B]

Yeah, I was in the theater, man.

[C]

Were you?

[B]

I was in the movie.

[C]

First of all. Good to see you guys, man.

[B]

I love you, Theo.

[A]

Man, I don't know what he's doing right now.

[B]

Thank you, Alexa.

[A]

Pro. Dude, you can't blame it on Lexapro.

[C]

Why?

[A]

That? You're being annoying. That's not one of the.

[B]

I know what's going on. You know, I'll be quiet.

[A]

No, be yellow.

[C]

Pro.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

You're good, dude. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Lest we forget.

[B]

Yeah, no,

[A]

go ahead.

[B]

When you. Thanks for the dinner the other night in Vegas.

[C]

It was great to see you for your birthday, man. Yeah.

[B]

And it wasn't my birthday and.

[A]

Oh, it was your sober birthday.

[B]

It was, but I don't think you were aware of it.

[C]

No, I wasn't. I thought it was your actual birthday. I have a video of you. I know a girl that brought you the cake and everything.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

So I forgot somebody sitting there in

[B]

a restaurant in Vegas, all of a sudden, a big cake with a bunch of candles and everyone. Happy birthday. And you did that for me.

[C]

And they played like the traditional music, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Happy, happy birthday.

[C]

You seen that? Funk. The Funk Monks or whatever. It's like a band. It's like those monks that are willing to be funky or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know. I'm not aware of it.

[A]

They're the Funk Monks right there.

[B]

Oh, those are the Funk Monks?

[C]

I think so. Funk Monks.

[B]

Do you know them?

[C]

Huh? No. Oh, but damn, they look fun.

[A]

God, do they ever. Yeah, it's a big band, too.

[B]

It's like the White Jabberwockies.

[A]

There's one black guy. You gotta have one.

[B]

Oh, you got. Do you. You do need one.

[A]

Black and Jamal on the horns.

[C]

Save us, Jamal. That's good.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Funk Mucks. Funk Monks.

[C]

That's a good horn. Dude, I wanna. Did you ever see that, baby? Dude, I forgot to even ask you.

[B]

What baby?

[C]

Your ex.

[B]

Y.

[C]

Your ex.

[A]

He's saying, have you met your Carlila's baby yet? I'm trans.

[C]

Did you ever meet it?

[B]

Yeah. You did? Many times.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I play with it.

[C]

Really?

[B]

He bites my face.

[C]

Is this. Was it. Is there any feelings when you hold it like, man, what are you doing, man?

[B]

Why the you coming around here doing that?

[C]

I'm just saying, is there times when you put it in your little arms?

[B]

I do.

[C]

And you say, you know, it could have been.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What could have been?

[A]

Do you think there's any. He was left over in there. And some of it got in that baby.

[B]

Oh, Bob.

[A]

Leftover Bobby.

[B]

Yeah. That spurs, they cling.

[C]

It's slow.

[B]

It cling to the ovaries for years.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Here's my turn.

[B]

Yeah, right. And jumped in. The other sperm grabbed the tail, right?

[A]

Here we go.

[C]

Like a little Rick sperm. Yeah, yeah, like a Rick sperm.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, yeah, Rick's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe there's some of my stuff in there.

[A]

You ever look in the eyes of the kid and think about that?

[B]

Yeah. One of them was like this.

[A]

No, stop it.

[B]

What?

[A]

Don't deflect.

[B]

Don't deflect. What?

[A]

Tell us the truth. You look at the kid ever, and you go, look at that. I'll cut him. It's a little bit of me right there.

[B]

Well, you know. Well, you want to get real?

[C]

Let's get real.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. I'm alone late at night. You know what I mean? And you ever look at pictures of

[C]

the kid when you're alone?

[B]

Sometimes. And I go, what could have been? I. I think I made some mistakes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Funk Monks, let's get real now.

[B]

Let's get real.

[A]

Sorry. Sorry about that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

What could have been.

[B]

What could have been. And I made some choices that were not really. I regret.

[C]

Well, you were also saving up your urine in a lot of jugs around the home. I know, I know. Some people call that doomsday prepping, but I'm like, I don't.

[B]

Ye.

[C]

What's the do? What is the. For what party?

[A]

It was a collector's item for him. It was more of like a.

[B]

It's ambiance. Yeah, it's ambiance because when the sun goes through it, it has a glare.

[C]

That's that show. That's a show you saw us, homie. That's all. It is a spicy show. You.

[A]

Yeah, with goju Jang with love.

[B]

Ah. Oh, Gou jang. Good reference.

[A]

Goju Jang with love.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

But there are moments where you have that thing where it's like, yeah, that I could have. If I have just got my ducks in a row, you know, it would have been something would have been different. But that's life. And you keep going.

[B]

Yeah, you keep going.

[A]

Good reference.

[B]

But you know, I learned if I

[A]

would have hung my ducks correctly in the window, I could have still been with her. That could have been my kid.

[B]

You like duck, man? I. It's too. It's too gamey for me.

[C]

I've had duck neck.

[B]

It's too oily. The. The meat.

[C]

I've never had duck body. I've had duck neck.

[B]

You have?

[C]

I've had duck neck. I've never had duck body.

[A]

Duck neck.

[B]

What's duck neck, man?

[C]

Duck neck.

[B]

Duck now.

[C]

I mean, it's. It's in the title pretty much. Yeah. Duck neck.

[A]

Duck neck.

[B]

So you eat the neck of the duck.

[A]

There it is. Yeah, it's like sausages.

[B]

Oh, you could really eat the neck.

[C]

Oh, duck neck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hot and spicy duck necks. You have any exotic animals?

[C]

What if you're somebody that eats a lot of neck? Are you called a.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

Go ahead.

[C]

A necker.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, you're not, are you?

[B]

Look that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Neca.

[C]

My bad.

[A]

He'd be knacking.

[C]

Dude. How have you guys been feeling, man? The show's been doing so great. It's like you guys is. Has it cemented you guys friendship differently? Is that a crazy question? Am I just making things silly?

[A]

No, that's true. No, it's good. Yesterday or what? The other day we shot our six year anniversary. Pretty huge. We did six years. It was kind of nuts. We didn't think we'd continue. He can't do it. That's Lexapro.

[B]

It's Alexa pro side.

[A]

It's gotta be.

[C]

Well, you seem positive. Usually you don't have a ton of energy. I think.

[A]

Yeah, he's got a shitload of energy.

[B]

Yeah, it's also on the cellular level. Yeah. I exist. I only do exist. Yeah, I had a dream that my. Oh, dude, I had a dream.

[C]

Oh, I just saw Hacksaw Ridge thinking that. Speaking of that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Good movie.

[C]

I mean, I don't think it's good.

[A]

What were your dreams?

[C]

Yeah, what were you. That's what I meant.

[B]

I had a dream that we went Camping. And my brother. Whoa.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And then my brother was making too much noise.

[A]

That sounds right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And then he woke you up. And then you faked yelled at him.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

You pretended that you were sleeping.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I knew the bit you were going to do. Right. And I go, Andrew's get really mad if you wake him up. I knew that you were still awake but pretending to sleep. Right. And you did an extra. You know what I mean? Snap.

[A]

Oh good.

[B]

Right. And it freaked him out and he ran out of the tent.

[C]

Hey, Bob.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey, Bob.

[B]

Why is Andrew so angry? Bob? Yeah.

[A]

So good.

[C]

Yeah. Andrew.

[B]

I mean, what do you do? He left him.

[A]

It was just you and me.

[B]

Yeah. And then you and I. And then you and I both laugh. And then I woke up.

[A]

That's a nice dream.

[B]

Don't you. I hate when peas end it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why do peas end dreams?

[A]

Because otherwise you would pee in the dream.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're gonna piss in the.

[C]

But life was so good when you peed in the dream. When you used to ride that bitch. You're like, I'm staying in here. And in your dream everybody's like, well, this guy's just peeing everywhere, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like. That guy means it, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've spit in my dream one time and I woke up spit all over.

[B]

I really.

[A]

I felt like something was in my mouth. Like I must have been stuffy. And in my dream I just. And I spit. And then I woke up all over my pillow. I was spit. And I thought that's so fun to do that in your dream and it to be happening in real life. It just feels good.

[B]

But do you know when you die in a dream you really die in real life? That's what they say.

[C]

Wait, is that true, guys?

[A]

Impossible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In the Matrix. In the Matrix, if you die in the dream, you die in real life. So it's got to be real because we're living in the Matrix, aren't we not. Does anything feel real lately? No, dude.

[C]

Bro. Not at all.

[A]

Yeah. So I think this is.

[C]

But no, everything's going well, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Nobody's living in complete fear.

[B]

Yeah. I just take up day by day, you know, Man.

[C]

Pal. Oh yeah. That's all you can do, man. That's what I'm doing.

[B]

Did I say that a couple episodes ago? No, but there's something you do. So we do have to monitor it. It. Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

You repeat things. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Short term memory loss. You think so?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's.

[A]

Is that a side effect? Alexa Pro.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Let's do a symbol. Can we do a symbol? Like a hand, Single symbol. Yeah, I'll do that. Do this.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

When I've said something before. All right. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, do something like that. Very subtle. Something like that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Just point to your eyebrow.

[A]

Real subtle.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's very good.

[B]

Okay. So did I say that? Oh, yeah. That's. No. That means no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick your lips. What's the lip thing? So this is.

[C]

No. Oh.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's hungry in sign language.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

This. What does this mean? I know this means something.

[B]

Yeah, that's like it. You know, I mean, back in the 40s, the black people on stage. Jazz hand. Yeah, Back in the day.

[C]

I haven't seen that.

[A]

All right. Jazz hands.

[B]

Jazz hands. Oh, jazz hands. I should have said that. Yeah, yeah. Jazz hands, dude. Oh, yeah.

[A]

You haven't said it before.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Dude, this is awesome. Dude, I never been on here.

[A]

This is your.

[C]

Yeah. Because I asked you, have you never

[A]

been on the show? I don't. I didn't even. I swear to God. We've been trying, and now we're here.

[B]

We'll be trying.

[C]

Well, I think. Yeah.

[A]

4.

[C]

I mean, since I moved away, it just touched. It's been tougher, you know, and then just having to do the. Do your own show. You know how it is.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're doing your own show. It's a nightmare.

[B]

We do miss you a lot. I think about you all the time.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I really do. And I go. I wish, Theo, because we saw you more often.

[A]

Yeah, we did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Back in the good old days.

[B]

And you're the. You're one of the only guys that have moved away that I kind of miss.

[A]

Who else moved away that you don't miss? Go ahead.

[B]

No, I miss.

[C]

I see there's a lot of them that. It's blatantly obvious, I think. Do you have to ask him that?

[B]

I mean, you're the ones. You're the one that is in my mind the most.

[C]

Oh, that's nice you to say, man.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I forget about. So what. I don't forget about what some of those days are like. I forget about some of the times at the store and stuff. I definitely long for it, I think. Yeah.

[A]

Do you have that in Nashville at Saints or something? You don't have, like, a club thing in. In the city that you go to? No, because they're the only club.

[C]

Yeah, I Go to Zany sometimes. And there's another place there, City Winery. Sometimes we'll try to stop over there and make a show happen. And Zany's has a lab now, too, so you can do, like, just a. You know, I got a show there coming up. I got a couple shows in, like, the next month coming up, so that's going to be good.

[B]

Can you pop in or no?

[C]

Yeah, you can, but they have, like, booked acts, and so.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[C]

You know, sometimes you don't want to show up at somebody's show and they have a full green room, and now you're in their space. And then. But also, I was just on tour. I was out. It was like, a lot of times when I was. When I was doing shows, it was just out of town. So it was like, when I was home, I was just kind of trying to relax or podcast. So. Yeah, it was a. Like, the past couple years was just. It was just very busy, you know? It was busy.

[A]

Are you gonna take some time or no?

[C]

Yeah, well, right now I don't have much touring. I mean, I'm putting some shows back up now because we're gonna retape my comedy special in a couple, like, a month or so.

[A]

You're scrapping the old one?

[C]

Yeah, I think we might just. We may. I don't know. We just want to have a better shot at it, you know?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

How many did you shoot the last time?

[C]

We shot two. We shot same day. Load in. Same day. There was just like. I mean, we talked about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or.

[C]

I don't know if we. We talked.

[A]

We talked about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I already talked to him about him personally.

[A]

He's on the four.

[C]

Yeah, it was just, like, a lot, you know, it was just like a. It was a. Just a crazy time. And so I think it was just too much to try to do something, but. And I also want to get it good. It's like, you know, I've worked hard on. I want to get it at least to where I feel like, hey, this is the best that I can serve it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Where are you gonna film this time?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

We were looking at Eerie, but the. Because I love the theater there when I performed there, really. But the weather. Yeah, the weather is a.

[B]

Is.

[C]

Is. Might be pushed out of there.

[A]

It's Erie, Pennsylvania.

[C]

And so I think maybe we're looking also at Jacksonville.

[A]

Jacksonville is. Also Is in Florida. Carlos typed in Erie, Indiana.

[C]

Well, it's funny. You have three white guys over there who are Obviously. Conquerors of land. But they don't know where anything is, so. But yeah, we're trying to figure it out, so. But it's all good.

[B]

Well, yeah.

[C]

So that's it.

[B]

Netflix.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, we did. We didn't do Netflix. They don't. They didn't want us around. Yeah, they said no thanks to us.

[C]

But you guys did Hulu. Hulu.

[A]

Hulu.

[C]

Which is great.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Do something new. Spread it out.

[A]

Yeah, we're trying.

[C]

And what is it? What's yours called? Bobby.

[B]

Finally.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, isn't that good?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Finally. It's time.

[B]

It's about you like it or no. Be real.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

No, be real. Be real. Be real.

[C]

I do like it. I was just thinking if I like it and I do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You got to give him a second to think about what. Give me. Give me some other suggestions of names you might call it if it was you up to.

[C]

Finally.

[A]

That's. We talked about. Finally.

[B]

Yeah, I thought.

[C]

And I thought finally. Like, finely.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, fine.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

This guy's fine.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Sorry. I didn't even laugh there. That's the thing that happened. And then Lee at the end.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

Steve's brother.

[A]

Steve's brother's real.

[B]

Oh, that's a good one. Steve's brother. Yeah.

[A]

What's your mom's name?

[B]

Jeannie.

[A]

Genie's boy, dude.

[C]

My mom's Gina.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Why not?

[C]

We should put them together somewhere.

[B]

Yeah. That's the only way to respond to what he just said. Why not?

[A]

Why not?

[B]

Yeah, dude.

[C]

We should put them together somewhere.

[B]

To do what?

[C]

Be around each other.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You said you're absorbed energy, huh?

[C]

Yeah. Just absorb. Absorb each other's energy. Didn't you say Stevie's out to live with your mom now, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And why did he move out there?

[B]

Because I. I needed an eye on her.

[C]

What is she up to?

[B]

Some dark stuff, man.

[C]

Like. What do you mean? Like espionage or what?

[B]

No, she says all night long, Epstein files. Just five in the morning, she's sitting, eating people.

[C]

Oh, demon state.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why so much pizza?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So much pizza all the time.

[B]

Lindsey Graham.

[C]

Gay. Oh, Ms. McConnell.

[B]

Sleeping.

[C]

And I want to say shout out to my. My producer, Zach Powers, that's here today, too.

[A]

Shout out to Zach. Zach's back. Yeah, Zach popping on camera real fast. Just say what's up. Just look into the camera. Yeah. Move McCone out of the way.

[B]

There's up, man.

[A]

There's the dog. Yeah, there he is, holding it down.

[B]

How long you been producing, man?

[C]

And his girl just got laid off.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Really?

[C]

That's not to clap.

[A]

Best country in the world.

[C]

Best country in the world. Yeah. Thanks, Oracle.

[A]

Zach, you're good. How you feeling? I'm good.

[B]

We just potted today.

[C]

We're chilling.

[A]

Okay, good.

[B]

Yeah. Who'd you powered, bruh?

[C]

Chris Hemsworth, Australian.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

A smart guy trapped in a good looking guy.

[B]

Oh, my God. Don't you hate when that happens?

[A]

What a bummer.

[C]

I thought it was just, you know, and it just judgment, you know, you see a guy that's that much of a, you know, a handsome ish guy or whatever. Yeah, dude, handsome. So smart.

[B]

Cool.

[C]

Like just talking about, like, just stuff, like it was a valuable chat. I needed to have it today. You ever notice like that when you're in those moments, you're like, God, dude, things are so. Oh my God off or something. And then somebody's like there and it's just like you have, like you have what? Whatever comes in the. That's the perfect, you know, it's a perfect conversation.

[B]

I want to live in that little space between his, you know, his stomach right there. What are those?

[A]

Little happy trails?

[B]

Yeah, I want to live in that gap. So happy.

[A]

You know what's so funny about this guy? Doesn't work out.

[B]

He doesn't.

[A]

It's all genetics.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

He refuses to go to the gym.

[C]

He channels a gym though. He does meditation through his brain.

[A]

Yeah, it's brilliant.

[C]

He has a 60amonth membership for channeling gym.

[A]

The mental gym.

[B]

Like when we had Zach Zac Efron on, right? And when you really see a real good looking guy, it's crazy because sometimes, you know, I'm around you and if I want to see a good looking guy for a while, right, I go, oh, Theo's very good looking. But then once I see Zach and then I look at you, I go, oh, Theo's ugly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, that's a disrespectful thing to say.

[B]

You know what?

[C]

It was. It wasn't great. Let me just say this, man.

[B]

Let me just say this, man.

[A]

Oh, God.

[C]

Oh, this happens on this show too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me. Let me just say this, man, okay? I want to say this, right? For comedian man, right? You're very handsome. And you too.

[C]

You know, Andrew is better looking than me.

[A]

How about this? Yeah, how about this? Yeah, how about this? If you think he's ugly, you are. Fill in the blank.

[B]

Bottom feeder disaster.

[C]

No.

[A]

You really think about yourself that way? This Is my point.

[B]

You're the one that gave up the scenario.

[A]

My point is, why are you putting him down? Don't you find beauty in yourself and in Theo?

[B]

I was trying to create funny, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Do it. Keep going.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I was trying to create something.

[A]

You're being mean to him. You're just being mean.

[C]

That's okay. I mean, I know how I look. I've seen myself a lot.

[B]

No, let's, let's. Let's. Let's go back. Can we go back a little bit?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Can we go back a little bit?

[C]

I don't think so, but yeah,

[B]

you know, I apologize.

[C]

Oh, sorry. Ronnie Chang is calling me right now.

[A]

Oh, dude. Oh, our dog.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

That's our boy.

[B]

Who's that?

[C]

Huh? It just says, oh, good looking Asian blue chew.

[A]

That bag is empty. I assume it's because it's been.

[B]

I already took it all. I love it. So let me say something. I. You know, I. Because I'm on. I'm old.

[A]

You're older.

[B]

I'm older. Right? And I. And I'm. I'm seeing somebody right now, and I take the blue chew and it gets me ready for the game.

[A]

Ready for the game. Bluechew gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable Ed brand. This isn't your grandpa's little blue pill. It is your old Asian friend's little blue pill. This is the four in one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance. We're talking two ingredients for blood flow to keep that rocket pump and mixed with apomorphine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal and connection to your brain and body.

[B]

Tell them about bluechew Gold, my friend.

[A]

Well, it dissolves under your tongue and it works as little as 15 minutes. That is very fast. That means you can get in and quicker and stay in the game longer. He's ready for the game. He's training in the locker room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's ready for elevation without hesitation.

[B]

Yeah. Because, you know, 15 minutes is perfect.

[A]

That's a good time, right?

[B]

You have dinner, right? You have dinner, right?

[A]

A little bit of orange chicken.

[B]

Orange. You're in the car, right? And you slip. And I tell him I'm slipping somebody I'm bc. And he says, because I'm ready for the game.

[A]

He's ready for the game.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And if you're ready for the game, we got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of bluechew gold with code bad friends. That's promo code bad friends.

[B]

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[B]

I mean, look, let's look at the Asian comics, all right? Ronnie, Ken, all these people.

[C]

Nancy Scott.

[B]

Nancy Scott. That's a good one. Deep. That's so fucking Randall Park. Where am I in that group?

[A]

Dead center.

[C]

Yeah, I'm dead center. I will say this. When I saw about. When I was like, I was in Las Vegas and I'd never seen Bobby in the wild before, right? I've seen Bobby in contained environments, podcasts or comedy club. And Bobby, somebody's like, bobby's in Las Vegas. And I was like, what? What happened? You know, was there a plate shift? Did something.

[B]

How did.

[C]

How did he get over here? You know what I'm saying? Like, move his bed over here. Like, what? Traveling is allowing just people to sleep and travel at the same time. And they're like, he's here. And I texted him and he's like, yeah, I'm gonna come meet up. And I was so excited, dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just to see you in, like, this, living, like, your life, dude. Like, I just feel like your attitude over the last few years to me has just been like, more. I'm gonna get out and I'm gonna take advantage of things and I'm just gonna say yes to doing stuff, you know? And I feel like it's been a lot more outgoing. Do you think that too, Andrew? Is that just.

[A]

No, he has been a little bit more. It's.

[C]

It's inspiring to me, man.

[A]

Well, because he's. The single thing has helped.

[C]

Even though I'm not a good looking guy or whatever, it's still as an ugly guy.

[A]

You understand? As an. I'll go.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He's been getting out more because he's single. Girls have been making him more active. Dude.

[C]

And I saw you at the UFC and they put you in like kind of the, the. The special needs. Sorry, I did. And it was. It was still. You got. It was awesome.

[B]

I couldn't even go to his.

[C]

I. We.

[B]

I couldn't even go to your section.

[A]

Yeah, I heard.

[B]

Yeah, they dragged me out of there,

[C]

but I couldn't go to yours unless I had a neck brace on.

[B]

They had to. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I had to rub like Vaseline all over my arms and neck and be like, oh, it's so hot in here.

[B]

I know.

[C]

To go over there.

[B]

Why did we get that section?

[C]

But it was so crazy. I'd never seen anybody get right where they come out, right along the rail. Bro, that was amazing.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You were right there when they came out.

[B]

When they came out. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It was sick.

[B]

Dude. I tried a high five. No one high fived me. No. Yeah, yeah. Rose. Nama. Eunice. I tried a high five and she was. Why did they come out with their eyes closed?

[A]

No, they were feeling it maybe.

[B]

Yeah, she was coming out like this and I put my hand out and it missed like this much. Yeah. Yeah. That's close though.

[A]

Yeah, that's pretty close.

[B]

Yeah, it was pretty cool. But the reason why I went to Vegas is because I was like, I gotta do something. Because I had done the special the weekend before. I was like, I gotta not go up all the time and just like, do something. So I asked Joe for tickets and I went and it was so much fun.

[A]

Well, Joe didn't give you those. You bought them on Ticketmaster.

[C]

But Joe gave you. He said you had a link to Ticketmaster.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Use code.

[C]

I paid money.

[A]

Use code rogan. 15. 15 off. Yeah, it's clubhub.

[B]

Yeah. I always spent 750 for those seats, but. But having dinner with. I didn't know you were in town, so having dinner with you that night and Then walking around with you afterwards.

[C]

Bizzle was there. You guys love each other. Yeah, yeah. He's the best.

[A]

The Biz.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You still touring with him?

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Whenever we go out, like, whenever we go on a big tour again next year, probably, we'll do it.

[B]

Who's Bizzle?

[C]

Tim. Tour manager guy. We're the same hat as you.

[B]

Oh, the tall guy.

[C]

Yeah, tall guy. You guys are always pushing each other.

[B]

Pushing.

[C]

I have video, you guys, and we'll include it. No, I have countless hours of you guys pushing against each other.

[B]

I know. We probably push. Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. What is it? That guy invites it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. You try to hit everybody kind of in the pecker and then run off or whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like a kid.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You start it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He'll play with you, but you start it.

[B]

I do start.

[A]

I don't think anyone's ever started it with you.

[B]

Yeah. I like the fire.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's good, though.

[C]

That's your new special name. I like the fire.

[B]

Back in the caveman days, the Koreans, right. And the Korean would go and light the fire.

[A]

You were the lighter fire.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You think somebody just. People would light their. Like, what do you think was, like an early comedian trick that somebody would do in, like, a caveman?

[A]

Fart. Fart into, like, fart. No fire to make it puff up a little bit. For sure they would.

[C]

So risky. Then.

[A]

It's worth the laugh. 100.

[B]

Yeah, it's a good laugh back.

[A]

A little firefighter lose their mind.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Evidence suggests that they do. We did have laughing. Similar laughter patterns. We would copy each other's laughs. Look at that. Laughter and pre. Primates involved sounds made during tickling and playful interaction. You'd be a tickler. You would. 100.

[B]

Oh, my God. Be ticking gear. All kinds of animals.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're a tickler, dude.

[B]

I would tickle everything.

[C]

I didn't sleep last night.

[A]

How come you're not? How come you're not?

[B]

He's Alexa pro, too.

[C]

Some nights I'm. Once I'm on Escitala pram or something. It's a generic. Will you mind looking that up, please,

[A]

Brother, I used to play basketball with that guy.

[C]

That's Catalopram.

[A]

He could hoop. Dude, that kid's crossover was generic Xanax.

[C]

Escitalopram, it's called.

[B]

How long you been on it?

[C]

I've been on, I think, for 17, 16 years probably. But I've been. I. I switched to some other ones.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And yeah, sometimes I Get to a point where I don't know if they're working. It feels like something's, like, kind of going wrong, and it feels like they're not working anymore. Sometimes I'll try to take breaks and get off, so. But for the majority of time, I've been on. I've been on something.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

For a while. It's kind of crazy that we stay on that long. It's like, you would think you go in for something and it's like, a problem, but then 17 years later, it's still. You know, like, you're still wearing, like, a leg brace or whatever duct tape holds up.

[A]

You know? You know what I mean? Like, it's. If it works, it works.

[C]

That's a good point, actually. That's a good way to look at it, too.

[A]

Like, I just think if it. If it. If it's not. If it's. If it's helping and not hurting, I mean, for you, I think you should change.

[B]

You think so already?

[A]

I switched to something else.

[C]

Oh, he's doing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Give me some notes of since the Beginning.

[A]

The boys will tell you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, tell me.

[A]

I think it feels like maybe. Maybe it's. Maybe it's bumping up against the. The wegovy or whatever. I think they're good. I think they're. They're.

[C]

Are you on GLP ones?

[A]

He is.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

No, he's on. Sorry. He's on.

[B]

We go away.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we switched.

[B]

Yeah, we switched.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think they're bumping heads down there. That SSRI and wegovia are going toe to toe.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Yeah. And something's going on, rattling around in that brain.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And probably the Ritalin, too.

[A]

That also doesn't help.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. What's the one where your spit tastes like meat or whatever? That's the one. Yeah. When you clear your throat, it tastes like. It's like a meat taste.

[B]

Yeah, I've heard of that.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. You. You so something.

[A]

Oh, Paxlovid.

[C]

Paxlovid.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's a good one, huh? That's a great side, huh?

[A]

Yeah. Meat. Meat taste. Paxlovid.

[B]

I'm gonna take a step back.

[A]

Take it. No, I think you should go in.

[B]

I don't know what you're doing.

[A]

I think you go further. Well, don't you want to see?

[B]

I'm taking three steps back. No, no. Yeah, you guys go on. I'll interject.

[A]

Look, look, look. Look at that road down there. Look at that road. Where does it go? Oh, let's go down it bar style.

[C]

Let's go.

[B]

I'm going to bar style.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Take a ride.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You're having fun. You're.

[C]

I'm gonna be all right. And queen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude, was that Turning Point?

[B]

That's unturning.

[C]

I've never heard that song in my life.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I've never heard that in my entire life, dude. What would you say, Bobby? How. What is your magnet? Like a role? Say you get in a movie, right? And it's a big movie, and it's like, what is the role that gets you to a level where you're like, wow, that guy is the Daniel Day Lewis of our time. Kind of, you know.

[B]

Okay. A role that.

[C]

Like, Daniel Malay Lewis.

[B]

Right, right. I'm the guy. A movie about the guy that made. Discovered gunpowder in China. Right. And. And I'm sitting around, look what I made. Right. And everyone's like, you're like, what is it, buddy? What is it, buddy? Right. I go, we can make guns out of this. Agar Noor firewalk.

[A]

Oh, the king of fireworks.

[B]

The king of fireworks.

[C]

That's a movie chimp. He's got some of that bang sand on him.

[B]

Is that what we say? You do the dialogue? Yeah, but you could write it, but. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Together. You shouldn't have to write yourself, but

[A]

it was Chinese alchemists that did it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In the Tang Dynasty, y' all are

[C]

the ones that started guns.

[B]

Chinese discovered gunpowder. And what they did was if they. If they made guns, they would have ruled the world. But they didn't. They made it. They did other things with it.

[C]

What were they doing with it? It's called gunpowder.

[B]

I don't know. Putting it in food. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like, oh, this is better.

[B]

Ye. The orange chicken. No, but.

[C]

And look, they would eat it and then just blast off against the wall. But they. They wouldn't figure it out.

[B]

But the Europeans are the ones that used, you know, used the gunpowder and made weapons out of it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You guys are doing just fine.

[B]

I. I think they did stick it in sticks and they did, you know, me use it as a weapon.

[C]

You know what I would have done?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Put some wet stuff on a stick.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Put some gunpowder on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Against the wet stuff. Hit somebody really hard with the gunpowder.

[A]

Snap. That is. Look at those. History of gunpowder. The first gun arrow.

[B]

Yeah. That's what they used to use.

[A]

A garo.

[C]

That's A firework.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's all that is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, so you guys use this to celebrate. And then some came along and is like, you want to celebrate? How about a funeral, you know? Yeah. And he just shot somebody with it.

[A]

That used to be a weapon. And then they thought it'd be fun when they killed someone for color to come out, so they would shoot someone with it. And then you'd get exploded with color as a celebration of your death. Look at that. That's incredible. That it's the original canon.

[B]

That's incredible.

[C]

That's Paul Skeens back in the day. If you look at that photo, actually, it's super close. And that's a. That's an early curveball.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think I'm that good of an actor to be Daniel Day Lewis.

[A]

That's right. Yeah.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't know. I think you are.

[C]

If you had the right. So much of it is like, you got to get the right role, and somebody has to see how you can operate, Bob.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I think you'd be good. What about you do it by yourself, Bobby? Yeah.

[B]

You think you guys could wear Oscars?

[A]

No. What the. No.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

No. I don't ever need to act again.

[B]

Yeah. How about you? You think you win an Oscar? No.

[C]

Bobby, you're the actor. You've done way more acting than any of us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I think you've done more. No, you must have done more.

[A]

Well, I'm done, so it doesn't matter.

[B]

I'm done, too. We're both done.

[A]

We're out.

[B]

Yeah. I'm gonna do tires.

[A]

Stamped our card. Oh, yeah. He's doing two episodes of Shane Show.

[C]

You are?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What about Tom Sawyer?

[A]

What about him?

[B]

I played Huckleberry Finn in a play. You did? Yeah. And who was your best photo on my Instagram.

[C]

But who was your best friend?

[B]

What? Tom Sawyer. Oh, it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember I played Huckleberry Finn.

[C]

Oh, there you are.

[B]

Yeah, we talked about it. Yeah.

[A]

Cute.

[B]

Huckleberry Finn. Then every time I walk out, the whole audience would laugh.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Just because you were so sweet and cute.

[B]

Yeah, I. Yeah.

[C]

There you are.

[A]

There's your boy. There's your buddy.

[B]

Yep. Me and Ian Edwards.

[A]

Do you know about where I could get.

[C]

I got. I got something for you. And then you get off and Neil Brennan's there. He's like, I got something.

[B]

Yeah, he's Mr. Notes, huh?

[C]

Well, he's the bravest. I Mean, he's so, like, he loves the art so much, you know, he's just like, I got something for you.

[A]

And usually it's always good.

[C]

It's always good.

[B]

It's always good. Yeah.

[C]

And then he cares to do it. Sometimes I'll listen to something, I'll be like, here's a tag. And I'll just put it in my notes or whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then I'll just never tell them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or get afraid to tell them. Sometimes you're like, I don't know if they would want me to say anything.

[A]

Yeah. If I'm cool enough with them. I think sometimes I do it. But then sometimes I think it's not that good of a tag anyway. Fuck it. It. But they might have wanted it. You should have given. Just try. Just give it to them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially coming from you. I'd take it. I would take all of them.

[B]

You know what I do now is when comics give me notes normally, like year, for years, I'd be like, oh, okay, I'll try. Now. I just. Tell me you have a note for me.

[A]

I got a note.

[C]

Nope.

[A]

Oh, okay. I just won't do it unless it's someone that's superior.

[B]

Neil. I'll do it, you know, I mean,

[A]

if there's someone you really respect, you would do.

[B]

Yeah, but when some, like, open mic or comes up to me and goes, hey, man, I got some notes happening a lot. What?

[A]

Open micro's doing that a lot. Yeah, that's. That's wild.

[B]

No one gives you notes. I have dormant and everyone give me notes.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I don't think.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No.

[B]

Nothing you're doing is working. So let me. They say that they've.

[A]

No, no one's giving me. No. I mean, I'm sure they probably have comments about it, but no one's come up to me like, hey, can I.

[B]

You ever get notes from, like, just strangers?

[C]

I don't think so. I don't know. I might.

[A]

It's usually from, if anything, I don't know, someone that came to the show sometimes.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I think I do. That's happened.

[A]

Yeah. But they go, you know what? I really like this.

[C]

I do. Probably.

[B]

What?

[C]

I might.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I've never given anyone a note.

[A]

No.

[B]

Have you?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, a friend.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You have? Yeah. You have?

[C]

Yeah. What do you sound like? What do you. Encyclopedia. Like you're a detective. Suddenly it's an easy. Yeah, definitely. Like, all right, you just like, landed on Plymouth Rock. It's not a big of an adventure, dude.

[A]

Yeah, sometimes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

I've never have stuff, dude. I'm trying to think what is that role that you're in that's like gets you to that crazy like Academy award? Webby.

[A]

I think it could be something. The Webby.

[B]

Spider man.

[A]

The story of your life.

[C]

It's just you trying to just get skied off your hands from jerking off at night.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Spider man. Spider man.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Don't kill the spider. I'm a spider man. Little spider in the spider man. He's just a tiny spider in someone's home.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Spider man. No, I think it could be for you would be like your story of your life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I play myself.

[A]

Story of a little Korean man who grew up in. In San Diego amongst all these goofy whites.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And you made it out alive, eating

[C]

doodoos with the dinol.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

With the people.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It could be your life. What about the guy that invented kimchi? Who's that guy?

[C]

Yeah, who is that? Bring that guy up.

[A]

You could have done that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

If it's probably a woman, huh?

[A]

Invented by specific but the ancient Korean people. So the Kim's, we get to make up the story. That's the best part.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You become the guy who started the kimchi revolution. You began Kimchi.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay, let's make it up. Choco. Yeah.

[A]

Cho cha.

[B]

No, Cho.

[C]

Cho.

[A]

Cho.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Apologize.

[C]

The choco Kimchi cowboy.

[B]

Kimchi cowboy. Yeah. I live on a beach.

[A]

The king of kimchi.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No. And I'm on a farm and I pick up some cabbage. Oh, what do we do with this?

[A]

No, it went bad. It already went.

[B]

Oh, it went bad.

[A]

And all your cabbage is bad. Now something's going on.

[B]

Something is going on, right?

[A]

And.

[B]

And people are like, oh, just throw it away, right?

[A]

They throw it into this ocean.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

You throw it into a vinegar thing.

[B]

Yeah, I. Yeah, that's it. I go, no, we dig a hole, put it in the ground, right? Put some vinegar. I don't know how they make kimchi. Soy. So how do they make him too, dude?

[A]

I mean, you should learn. This is your past.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't make it at home. I don't have a home kit.

[A]

Well, you make a home kit.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Wait, right now?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't.

[B]

I don't know how it's made.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Look at how he can make you some of it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. What do you have to do?

[A]

You prep and salt the Cabbage. You wash and drain it, and then you make the paste in a large bowl.

[B]

So you do all.

[A]

Yeah, Go gochugaro, Garlic, ginger, onion, fish sauce, and sugar form a thick, red paste. You stir it all in there, and you put it in there and you ferment it. Right. You pack the glass jar tight, pressing down, get all the air out, and then you wait for fermentation. You let the jar sit at room temperature for one to five days.

[C]

One to five days isn't insane.

[B]

Yeah. What?

[A]

Well, the more. The more days, the more fermentation. Oh. Once it smells sour and tastes to your liking, then you put it in the refrigerator. It'll continue to ferment slowly, and it'll last for months.

[B]

But whoever created this didn't. This isn't the first time he tried it. This is like fucking 100 years of trying different ways.

[A]

Well, we got to figure out this. Yeah.

[B]

There's no way someone got that right the first time.

[A]

Oh, Koreans are pretty smart.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So what is this? What did you have to put it into? Firm and fermented in glass. What did you use? What did you use, like a light bulb or something? What did you originally ferment? It had to be a glass.

[C]

Yeah, something in the story.

[A]

Yeah, something in the story that you took the air out of it and you were able to put the cabbage in something. Would you put it in?

[B]

Well, there must have been jars, right? We had jars.

[C]

Ooh, Jars of clay. Remember that band?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Rain, rain on my face.

[B]

What about this? What about this?

[C]

How about this?

[B]

We use jars as trash cans, right? So then I was just. Let's throw it away.

[C]

You work for the trash company?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I work for the trash company, Right. And I took the cabbage and threw it in the. Their jars. The trash cans, Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I threw away salt, too.

[A]

Where did we get trash can?

[B]

Yeah, let's throw away salt. We threw all the ingredients. We're just throwing it away.

[A]

Were you taking. You were taking salt from the ocean?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's throw it away.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Put in the trash can.

[C]

Yeah. The greedy ocean have too much salt. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Here we go. Right? What else is in it?

[A]

Well, it's water.

[B]

Throw water away. We have too much water. We threw it away.

[A]

Fish sauce.

[B]

Nobody eats fish sauce. We have too much of fish sauce in the village, Right? Throw it away. We're throwing all of it away. What else is in there?

[A]

Garlic. Garlic.

[B]

And we have way too much of garlic here.

[A]

You're throwing everything away.

[B]

Oh, wait. We put it in the trash can. Right. And we just. And the trash guy doesn't pick it up for a long, long time.

[A]

One to five days.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It sounds like even longer. Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. For a couple of months. And then I walk out. I walk out of my hut, and I go, God, the trash, man. I have not come here for two months. We threw all this stuff away, right? And then I go out, I go, I bet you money. And I open up the lid.

[C]

Yes. And it's like, on. It's like on Breath of the Wild, whenever you open ever, it's like.

[B]

And you cook your meal. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And you cook your meal, and it's ready.

[B]

And I look down, I go, don't look delicious. Yeah, right.

[A]

Well, you're starving. You haven't eaten days.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I haven't eaten in days. There's a famine.

[A]

Yeah, there's a famine.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, there's a famine going.

[A]

It's a cabbage family.

[B]

It's a cabbage famine. Because I threw it all away.

[A]

Rocket Money.

[B]

Let me tell you something, my friend. You saved me thousands of dollars a year. I'll tell you why. Because Rocket Money.

[A]

Because of.

[B]

Because I have so many done subscriptions I'm not even aware of anymore.

[A]

Well, they're not dumb. You just signed up and you didn't remember them. And Rocket Money.

[B]

Oh, they're also dumb.

[A]

They're also dumb.

[B]

Yeah, they can be both.

[A]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You got to let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals this year much faster. Because all of us, all of us, Bobby, every single one of us is signing up for stuff that we don't really need or don't really want or forget about. Or you do it in haste and you think, I'll cancel it at some point, and it just sits there, and you're getting charged every single month. Not with Rocket.

[B]

Also, the app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture.

[A]

That is amazing. And by the way, when you use all these features, you're going to save the most money. Someone like Bob, my good, sweet boy, saved a ton of money because he was signed up for multiple things that we were laughing about that he didn't even know. And look at you now.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[C]

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[B]

Everyone's like, where did all the cabbage go?

[C]

Right?

[B]

Bobby threw it away. Where's all the garlic and the fish sauce? He threw it away, right? Then I opened it up and I look down and I go, I'm so hungry. I'm gonna eat this garbage, right? So I stick my hand in there, I pull it out, I take a bite, I go, delicious.

[A]

And that's the end of the movie.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, no. Why do you always end it?

[A]

No, no, start it. That's the beginning.

[B]

That's the beginning. I like, there's a sequel, dude.

[A]

What's going on in the sequel?

[C]

There's not a sequel.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Soy sauce.

[B]

I discovered soy sauce.

[A]

Whoa. That was you, too?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Same guy?

[B]

Yeah, dude, Right? Yeah. And orange chicken is the third one.

[A]

That one you definitely did.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

What do I do with all these oranges and chicken? Yeah, that's the third one, right? I have so many oranges and chicken, I don't know what to do.

[C]

Right? This is a chicken. He has an orange stuck in his throat.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you see oranges, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I have to eat it anyway.

[C]

And then a car hits him.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, this is. So that's where I. The third one, the orange chicken, was where I wear my Oscar.

[A]

We Gotta call Netflix. I think some of this stuff's gonna get made. You will win an Oscar. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And the Academy Award goes to. Orange Chicken. Bobby Lee.

[C]

It could happen.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Spielberg goes up there with you. Orange chicken was invented by chef andy Cow in 1987 for Panda Express.

[B]

Also, Panda Express created orange chicken in Hawaii.

[A]

Yep. The Hunan flavors with battered fried chicken for the American palate. Iconic, sweet, tangy, slightly spicy dish known today.

[C]

It is good.

[A]

Shout out Andy Cow.

[C]

Shout out Andy Cow.

[A]

Your own legend.

[B]

Is Andy Cow still alive?

[C]

He's on that Panda Express to heaven, dude.

[A]

Yeah. One stop. It's not real. Andy Cow was one of 11 people who died in a shooting massacre at a dance studio in Monterey Park, California, January 2021. That is not real.

[B]

There's no way.

[A]

That is not real. Yeah, People didn't like that.

[B]

Yes. Is orange chicken.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[C]

It is real.

[A]

Dude, that's. Hey. Andy died. What an idol. Up. That's not real. That's the same guy that invented orange chicken. Got popped.

[B]

He was 72 at the time. It looks like he could.

[C]

Well, what? Well, somebody didn't like it.

[A]

It always gives me heartburn. That's nuts.

[C]

It's good.

[A]

So good.

[B]

I love orange chicken.

[C]

And especially you don't know about it, and somebody gives. Somebody, like, gives it to you, you don't know about it.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[C]

I love that.

[A]

I'll take some Kung Pao. I like Kung Pao.

[C]

If I ever have amnesia, take me to get orange chicken. Dude.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Wake you right back up.

[C]

Well, no, just because there's no better feeling than that first time that you get introduced to orange chicken. Remember, you didn't know about it, and then you knew about it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

What changed your life?

[B]

Mine is August 6, 1987.

[A]

Orange Chicken Day.

[B]

Orange Chicken Day. That's when I knew about it.

[C]

Oh, yeah?

[B]

Yeah. When did you. When'd you know about it?

[C]

When's my D day?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's. It was probably around the same time. I would bet. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I cried.

[A]

The mall, April 14, 2024.

[B]

Oh. Recently.

[A]

Took me a minute.

[B]

Yeah, it took you a minute.

[A]

Couldn't really do it.

[C]

The old Easter orange.

[A]

Yeah, Easter orange.

[B]

So you had never heard about it before then?

[A]

Heard, never ingested.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Knew it existed, never was interested.

[B]

Yeah. And then when you did it once. What?

[A]

I've been a Kung Pao guy for years, but I. Yeah, Yeah. I will dive. A little bit of orange.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A little bit here and there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What's the one with the cashews in it. Are the peanuts or something?

[A]

That's. That's. That's. That's cow.

[B]

That's kumpa.

[C]

That's good.

[B]

Yeah, Kung Pao's great.

[C]

That's good.

[A]

It's named after Ding Bazohan.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The king dynasty official and governor of the Sichuan province.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gong Bao.

[B]

That's a name that we don't.

[A]

That's the movie that you're in. Gungbao. What do you mean? Ding? Yeah, Ding's a great name.

[B]

I know, but we don't see a lot of people.

[A]

More. More dongs than Ding.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Dude, what about, like, Rambo? What if you did a Rambo?

[B]

Oh, you know, could I say something? I asked about this. My age, but that training montage is at two hours long. There's no training montage in Rambo. Yes, there is in this version.

[A]

Well, he's saying he's got to. You have to justify it for the fans.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Somehow.

[C]

Yeah. They're gonna need.

[B]

I did call it. Tell my agents many years ago. I go, is there any way we could. I can be in Rambo. This is real. You just. You just take him out and just put me. I'm in every scene. Right. But I changed the dialogue and this and that. Like in the beginning, when you remember the cop is in the car or whatever, and he sees Rambo in this, and I come up to the. You know, he comes up to me and I go, hey, where's the bathroom? You know, like, change the dialogue.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They go, you have to get the rights for the thing.

[A]

You wanted to be Rambo.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, But. But in a comedy way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Playing myself with just, you know, I

[A]

mean, Rambo was kind of a comedy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In and of itself. Look at that. It's hilarious.

[C]

Or Rambo.

[B]

Yeah. Rainbow. We change it, you know, I don't know, dude.

[C]

I. And you're from the Pacific. Ram.

[B]

Yeah. Good, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Rainbow.

[B]

Rimbo. Just. Rainbow is back r. Fell off that cliff.

[A]

Oh, yeah?

[C]

Who? Rambo.

[A]

Rambo's always falling off cliff.

[C]

Most of the movies just him in icu.

[A]

Yeah, that cliffhanger that was.

[C]

Oh, that is a gayest looking thing ever. If you don't think that picture is him trying to meet a guy somewhere. What is that?

[A]

What are you doing down there? Come up here and climb with me.

[C]

He's just waiting for Alex Honna to

[B]

pull up on him.

[C]

He's waiting for Jared Leto to just scurry up after him.

[A]

Have you had Honnold on your show. I feel like you. No, he would do your show though.

[C]

I can't believe he did that.

[A]

Taipei Tower now if he'd do that, he'd do.

[B]

Did you see it? We talked about it, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This or this?

[A]

Did you watch it?

[C]

Okay, I saw some of it.

[A]

It's fine. Yeah, yeah, he lived.

[B]

He lived.

[C]

Yeah. I was actually at a place and somebody said it. Somebody else who was a rock. I'm like just letting you know he lived and like all good.

[A]

I mean that is the number one concern.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What ended up happening?

[B]

How far can you go up the building?

[C]

Probably till I see some tits in a window. Tell you this. I'm ordering a Sprite. At that point I. I sat on a plane. Sorry.

[B]

Go ahead, go.

[A]

You sound. A plane.

[C]

With who? Dante. Filipino actor.

[B]

Oh no. Yeah, he was in Hook.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

I like that great guy.

[B]

Rufio. He played Rufio. I have a story. So he has like 19 brothers.

[A]

He has 19 brothers.

[B]

He's got a lot of brothers.

[C]

Dante Bosco.

[B]

The Bosco's. He's got like two other brothers. I exaggerate but I remember, dude, I remember in commercial auditions back in the day, I was always against his whole family. Oh, when it said Asians, it was him. It was the Bosco's.

[C]

Dude, that could be a movie. Bobby versus the Bosco's.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And they book all the Panda Express.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But sometimes I would beat them. Yeah, that fucking got to beat the fucking Boscos.

[C]

That's how it is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But who did you used to go up against when you were auditioning in la?

[C]

Dude, I was. I would get over there, I'd be furious. I had to drive over there. I was late. I would always like leave my in the car. I'd be practicing and oh my God, I get in the room. I was too scared to talk sometimes. I remember one time I had him open the window and then I was like, can you open the other window? I was like, I can't. I just couldn't even speak or whatever and I just was too nervous to even talk.

[B]

I know, it's the worst.

[C]

I would start saying. I was just like, I was so bad. I don't know anybody, like trying to think it was ever anybody in a hallway where I was like, oh, we're in for this same thing. Or if it repeatedly happened. I don't think so. I don't. There wasn't enough that I went out for like regularly yeah.

[A]

You know, one time I saw Ian Edwards in the waiting room and I said, what are you going out for? And he said, whatever the role was. I said, that's the same thing as me. So obviously they, they don't know. They've already booked somebody else. It's like, we. A skinny black guy and then a redheaded. It was like, what in the are you guys looking for? That to me was always a signal. It's like they already gave it to a. To a famous guy. They're waiting for him to sign. So they just have us in there to like placate the time so they can have a job.

[B]

Yeah, I wouldn't even go be called in with Asians. I would be called in with the other category.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So I'd be in the lobby and there's like a 9 foot 5 Nigerian guy. You mean a 900 pound Samoan guy, right?

[C]

Guy from a fire. Yeah, the fire guy.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

It's like the afterlife in Beetlejuice. All those guys.

[B]

That's what I. That's what my. That's all my love.

[A]

Bobby's audition.

[B]

There's a guy with a little head. Yeah.

[A]

Just waiting with the handbook.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like, more freak. Character category.

[C]

Did you love it when you went to audition? When I look back on it, I realized I didn't like it.

[A]

Sometimes I. If it was. If it was like set up for me to win and have fun. Yeah, loved it. But if I was. If you knew that you were there as a. Just a sheep for them to push through the line, I hate it. I would get so mad because I knew they weren't giving it to you, they were giving it to a famous person. You'd have a conversation with someone, an agent or manager would be like, they already made an offer to, you know,

[C]

Channing Tatum, Josh Hutchardson.

[A]

And you're like, well, what the am I doing? No, they want to see other people. It's like, no, they don't. This is just so people can have jobs. Because otherwise it's like, well, let's get lunch. So they. That always made me sad because I was like, well, I'm wasting everyone's time. Even if I was nice and affable and funny and good at the audition, it was like, well, who gives a shit? They don't. They're like, yeah, but you don't think

[B]

that if you were that good, they might change?

[A]

Not in a million fucking years.

[B]

I think you're right.

[A]

Yeah. That those days of that old Hollywood, like, anyway, saw her, and she blow us away. It's like, that's not a thing they already know.

[B]

Well, you get to meet casting directors.

[C]

You get to.

[A]

Once you meet them, though, and they know you, they already all know. They all talk about who they want.

[B]

If the room was cold, I would up.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

When I'd walk into a room and they're just kind of like, you know, I mean, I'd be just like, I'm done. I can't do it.

[C]

Yeah. Cabinets. Create the energy completely yourself. Like, I was good at some of the talking and communicating, but then when it would get into the thing, I think I would just be too nervous. Yeah, I just did. There was something about.

[B]

You could do it now, though.

[C]

Yeah, now I think I would probably be a little bit more like, I understand it, and I would only do something you haven't really wanted to do.

[B]

But you have the confidence now out, I think, to do it.

[A]

Well, you got your own movie coming out. You don't need other people's movies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When are you guys releasing that? You and Spade?

[C]

In April.

[A]

What's the name? Can we know the name?

[C]

Bus Boys. Boys.

[B]

That was a fun shoot, brother.

[C]

Yeah. Nate Diaz is in it. That's cool, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I met Nate through Shane one time, and sometimes he'll FaceTime me, like, in the middle of the night, and I get nervous to answer because I don't know what he's gonna ask me to do. What is he gonna say?

[C]

Like, bury a body, right?

[A]

Yeah, he's gonna. I just. Like, I could just see me picking up. He's like, what's up, brother? What are you doing right now? And I'm like, I'm in bed and be like, get on a plane immediately. You know, like. And I have to do. I would be like, I have. What is. Am I gonna do?

[C]

Yes. You can't say no.

[A]

I can't say no, bro.

[C]

That'd be a good. You can't say no to Nate Diaz, dude. That would be a crazy movie.

[A]

Whenever he does call me, I get. I'm like. I got. I prepare a little bit.

[C]

But him and Chris Avila, that's another fighter. The. They. They both came in, dude. It was freaking hilarious. Like, the whole thing was just ridiculous. But it was. It was a bit. It was a good. It was a good experience to how to do it all. You know, we just paid for it ourselves and, like, nobody would help us make it.

[B]

Yeah. But when I did it right. Am I still in the movie?

[C]

Yeah. Okay, good.

[A]

Hey. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah,

[A]

yeah, yeah. You're in it. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

But the reason why I had so much fun is because you guys kind of just let me do whatever I wanted to do.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You were good in that.

[B]

No, no, but I was just like, hey, can I just do this? Or like.

[A]

Yeah, that's when you shine.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's so fun.

[A]

You can't. You can't tie you down, baby.

[B]

But when they're saying no, you have to say like this.

[A]

Yeah, it's hard.

[B]

You have to do it like this.

[C]

You have to walk like this.

[B]

I've had that note walk. Can you walk in the room different? I'm like, what?

[A]

Well, yeah, you got an interesting gate, dude.

[B]

You're being very edgy and confrontational.

[A]

I just said your stride is on you.

[B]

What the is your problem?

[A]

Do you not have a weird gate?

[B]

I do.

[A]

So what am I doing?

[B]

People have commented.

[C]

You walk like a GTA character.

[A]

Yeah, you walk like a. You walk like a. Of npc.

[B]

I do.

[A]

You walk npc. Ish.

[B]

I have to change my walk, huh?

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

No, we're just joking around.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

None of this is real, is it?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Are there health concerns you do start to have Bobby.

[B]

Oh, yeah, for sure. But I gotta quit smoking.

[A]

Smoking is the worst.

[B]

I can't breathe.

[A]

You got back on smoking after so many years.

[B]

I can't breathe.

[C]

And then some young lung. That's what you need now. I need a transplant, dude. Hey, bro. You need a transplant. You need some young lung. Sorry. And that's very racist. And that's. I like it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I like it.

[A]

So good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We're worried about copd.

[B]

Yeah. And then another thing is I don't move.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Some days get bed sores. No, no. Some days I just.

[C]

I'll wake up.

[A]

They're welts. They're bedwell.

[B]

I'll tell you my schedule. Okay. All right. I'll tell you my schedule. Yesterday.

[A]

Bring up. Bring up Wahlberg's schedule and we'll put his next to it. Wake up at 3:30. Pray workout.

[C]

Yeah, his is wake up. Go to Wahl burgers.

[A]

2:30, wake up. Prayer time. 2:45.

[C]

This is insane.

[B]

It's insane.

[A]

What is this, by the way? Can I tell you?

[C]

Yeah, it's real. No, it is not.

[A]

My hands.

[C]

2:30am Wake up.

[A]

It's real.

[B]

What?

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Telling you.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I had a small role in a movie with him, and I. And I jokingly brought it up and he was dead serious about it. I Was like, come on, man. You're not up that early in the morning. Like, be real. Every day. He's like, every day, brother. I was like, come on, man. And he looked. He threw daggers through me. Like, what are you talking about? Like, you.

[C]

Oh, I think he's confident.

[A]

Oh, no, he's in it. This is his.

[B]

Okay. When he's having his meal, three is when I go to sleep.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

When he.

[B]

Yeah, when. When I'm sleeping. That's what I'm going to think. Mark Wahlberg's eating his third meal.

[A]

That puts you to sleep. That's how you count.

[B]

That's how I count sheep. Yeah.

[C]

Wow. I love how at 11am he has family time, meetings, work calls at family time when his kids are at school.

[B]

That's the best. Yeah.

[C]

This isn't real.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm telling.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

It's real.

[B]

Meal.

[C]

Can you zoom in? Meal seven.

[B]

Meal seven. What is he, a hobbit?

[C]

Meal seven. He's a shark

[B]

at four. Workout two when he goes to bed at 7:30. Dude, I love it.

[A]

He works out like five times a day.

[C]

I just watched Hacksaw Ridge last night. So good.

[B]

You brought it up twice already.

[C]

What's up?

[A]

He loved the movie.

[C]

It's so good. I've never seen it. I'm watching a lot of war movies right now just in case things get really bad.

[B]

Really? What's your favorite one so far?

[C]

Hacksaw 1917 was really good.

[B]

Hamburger Hill.

[C]

I like. Heck, is it good?

[B]

Yeah, I like the. What? Yeah, yeah. The event was insane.

[A]

Armageddon is one to watch.

[C]

Armageddon.

[A]

Just to prep.

[C]

Oh, there. There you go.

[A]

Yeah. If we want to go back to where we belong.

[B]

Yeah. Platoon. Let's rank them. Platoon.

[A]

Probably one of the best.

[B]

One of the best.

[A]

Full Metal Jacket.

[B]

Probably first half of the movie.

[A]

I think it's a great movie.

[C]

Okay. Letters to Iwo Jima.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good war movie.

[C]

Apocalypse.

[A]

Band of Brothers.

[C]

Band of Brothers is the best.

[B]

It's a great show. That's a great show.

[C]

Band of Brothers is so good, dude. Yeah.

[B]

Marriage or no. Ever.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[C]

Do you think we can get there, though, Bobby? I mean, look, I just don't want to talk about this, Ton, because I'll talk about a lot on my show.

[B]

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[C]

Just like, you end up becoming this whiny guy who's like, you know, it's like, you know, you can figure it out, but yeah. Also just been busy and. Yeah.

[B]

You.

[C]

You want to find somebody that's a Good match. There's been a couple good girls that. That I could have hitched onto that. That I let. I let it go. Yeah. And I didn't, you know, because I was focused on work. So it's all good.

[B]

Yeah, I feel like.

[C]

Sounds like somebody trying to convince themselves, but that's okay. We're doing good.

[A]

Well, you know, it's all good if. Yeah, it's all good if you're not.

[B]

You.

[A]

You find a partner when you find a partner. I tell him that all the time. He's on the hunt. And I'm always like, dude, just let it be your. You've done so much.

[C]

That's Rambo, dude.

[A]

Rambo. That right there is Rainbow.

[C]

He's out there, bro.

[A]

The Kimchi king. Rambo.

[C]

Oh, dude. He'll hide in your bushes and eat your ass. That's Rainbow, dude. I only had a little bit.

[A]

It's. It's coming for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I appreciate you guys so much, dude.

[A]

I love you, brother.

[B]

I love you too, man.

[A]

It's been a long time. It's so fun to see you. And also how funny that we finally got you on the show.

[C]

I know. I'm sorry that I haven't been in here before.

[A]

No, don't be sorry.

[C]

It is my fault.

[B]

I always thought that you did it before. It's so crazy.

[C]

Well, I've come in, done Tiger belly. I think the timing was just easier on certain times. It's like, you know, the past four years I lived in Nashville, so it's like the timing on when I'm here, it's just. It's been tough sometimes.

[A]

But we should go to Nashville for a while.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I wanna.

[A]

I think fun out there. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I've never. I never really spent that much. We did the rhyming together, but that was great. But that was the last time I was there.

[A]

And Carlos. Carlos had himself a little bit of a night night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's when you got.

[B]

Are there a lot of Asians in Nashville?

[C]

Yeah, there are some Laotians.

[A]

Yeah. Well.

[B]

Well, it could be like.

[A]

We'll start it.

[B]

I could be La Ocean for a weekend.

[C]

And I met a Korean guy the other name day named Zach. And I met a Korean girl named Emily.

[A]

As of right now, Nashville, Davidson makes up approximately 3% Asian population there. There you go. You'll fit in. Okay. Three.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Not bad. What is it here in Los Angeles?

[C]

Bring your Lumina or bring your Lumira. What is it called? Lumia.

[B]

Lumia, yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Bring your Lumia.

[B]

What's America.

[A]

Yeah. What is it here in LA? I mean, 12%.

[C]

Wow. Yeah, bro.

[A]

Yeah. Don't leave. This is 1.5 million of you guys in LA alone. That's right.

[B]

That's incredible.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You could throw a chopstick and hit one of them, you know, and those don't go far. That's beautiful.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Filipino is the largest group. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

We love them.

[C]

The best.

[B]

Korean.

[A]

Koreans are the third.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And other notable groups. Vietnamese. Shout out to those guys. Indian. And Japanese is lower because they remain in Japan because they know that Japan is the best.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hard to beat.

[C]

People love Japan. I argue about it all the time right now, dude.

[A]

We. We're gonna go this year in July, maybe. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You should come. You should come, seriously.

[C]

Yeah. What if we all went to Japan?

[A]

That'd be fun. Well, you got to come this way to go that way, so you might as well come say we made a documentary. Oh, I'd love that.

[B]

I'd love that, too, man. I'd love to go to Japan.

[A]

Boys in Japan.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, the boys go to Japan. It'll be. It'll be our three amigos.

[C]

Yeah, I'm Dartanian.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

You should.

[C]

That's me with the sword. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I want to learn how to do that.

[A]

No, Come on.

[B]

No, seriously.

[A]

No. What?

[C]

The sacrificing.

[B]

No. What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not Hare Krishna. What is it?

[A]

Hari Kari?

[C]

Harry Karim.

[A]

He's killing himself.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's the Japanese stabbing himself to death.

[B]

CS Win. Go, Cubs.

[A]

Go. Go. C. Go.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Did you see a picture of Bobby's mom there as a. That's Bob's mom. That was in her acting days.

[C]

I see why Steve moved back.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You'd be a Phoenician yourself.

[C]

Oh, I'll have the green curry.

[B]

You know. Yeah.

[A]

We want to thank our guests for coming on the show.

[B]

You have fun, dude.

[C]

I had so much fun, man.

[A]

You're the best.

[C]

Yeah, I think I just. Yeah, I think, like, it's good. I just, like. Yeah. Sometimes I'll get into spaces where I isolate and stuff. So I'm trying to, like, kind of take a play out of yearbook Bobby, and just, like, you know, not do that, you know? You think sometimes that they. That they. The getting better is in the ice. It's like, I just need to wait, you know, and get better, you know? But sometimes it's like, no, I need to do more stuff.

[A]

Just do it.

[C]

But anyway. Yes, I'm sorry. It was a long answer. I've said enough. I had a great time and thank you so much, dude. And congratulations, dude. I feel the world feels so lucky that you guys make this show and your producers too. This is like people everywhere I go. Do you know them? Do you know bad friends? Do you know?

[B]

Same with you, dude. You know, I think we're all in the same. We're family. And you know what the thing about you is, is that I. I want to say something real is that there's so much about you that I relate to. We're very similar in so many different ways. And so my heart really goes out to you all the time and.

[C]

What are you talking about? For what?

[A]

Just same height, same look, same style.

[B]

No, just in terms of same guy.

[C]

What? Me? My heart goes out to you.

[B]

I love you. I mean.

[C]

Oh, yeah. To say that my heart goes out to you like I'm trapped on an island or something or like I'm an icu. Sorry, go ahead. I'm messing it up. Go on one. I'm going to relax back. I'm going to chill out. What were you saying?

[B]

I love you. Is that better?

[C]

I love you too.

[B]

Yeah, there's many about things about you that I relate to as well.

[C]

You.

[A]

What are you doing?

[B]

Similar, you know, Feels good. That's what I want to say. Love.

[A]

We love.

[B]

When I look at. You know, when I look at you, it feels good. Anyway, say thank you for being a fat, bad friend on the. Thank you for being a bad friend.

[C]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[B]

Thank you.