We Are Suing Tom Segura

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends - "We Are Suing Tom Segura"

Release Date: June 9, 2025

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Guest: Tom Segura

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Introduction and Playful Teasing

The episode kicks off with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino engaging in their signature playful banter, setting a humorous and light-hearted tone. Bobby jests, "[00:00] You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?" immediately establishing the camaraderie and teasing dynamic between the hosts.

Discussing Tom Segura's Involvement and "Bad Thoughts"

The central theme revolves around their guest, Tom Segura, and his Netflix show, "Bad Thoughts." Bobby introduces Tom with exaggerated praise, stating, "[02:12] And he has a show out right now on Netflix called Bad Thoughts, which we are going to sue for as a bad friends company." This humorous declaration sets the stage for a series of jokes and discussions about the show.

Andrew adds to the comedic critique, saying, "[02:19] It's right there. Right?" highlighting their playful intent to "sue" the show for its title. The hosts delve into a comedic exploration of alternative titles for comedy specials, brainstorming options like "Tyrannical Thoughts" and "Unacceptable Thoughts" to mock the naming conventions often seen in the industry.

Naming Comedy Specials: A Creative Brainstorm

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the creative process behind naming comedy specials. Bobby Lee humorously suggests titles, "[03:11] ChatGPT says Bobby's comedy spell should be called Tiger Dad. Unfiltered Kimchi. The Slept King. Pork Chop Samurai." This segment showcases their inventive and humorous approach to crafting unique and memorable titles.

Tom Segura chimes in with his thoughts on the challenges of naming, emphasizing, "[03:18] Every title sounds fake until it's, like, official." The trio continues to riff on words, exploring synonyms for "bad" to enhance the alliteration and catchiness of potential titles.

Acting Projects and "Karate Ghost"

The conversation shifts towards Tom Segura's acting endeavors, particularly his role in the movie "Karate Ghost." Andrew shares his excitement, "[04:21] But Trauma Llama is more fun," before seamlessly transitioning into a discussion about acting techniques and project experiences. Tom elaborates on the challenges and humorous anecdotes from filming, providing insight into the behind-the-scenes aspects of his work.

Bobby and Andrew engage in light-hearted teasing about memorizing lines and attending meetings for acting projects, injecting humor into the exploration of the acting world. Quotes like "[15:13] And you're not near them, are they?" illustrate the playful ribbing between the hosts and their guest.

Sobriety Meetings and Personal Reflections

A poignant segment unfolds as Andrew delves into his experiences with sobriety meetings. He recounts, "[55:33] I have been to a celebrity meeting where a celebrity reveals something," highlighting the complexities and vulnerabilities associated with such environments. The hosts discuss the dynamics of honesty and connection in support groups, with Bobby emphasizing the importance of authenticity: "[58:15] You don't have to," referring to the supportive nature of sobriety communities.

Andrew shares personal struggles and the emotional toll of maintaining sobriety, stating, "[57:06] You think I'm slurring?" The conversation becomes introspective, exploring the delicate balance between humor and genuine personal challenges.

Anecdotes Involving Celebrities and Personal Interactions

The trio reminisces about interactions with various celebrities, sharing humorous and heartfelt stories. Bobby narrates an amusing encounter, "[52:11] But outside of that, he's never here," referencing a friend's absence and the candidness of their discussions. These anecdotes provide listeners with a glimpse into the hosts' personal lives and their interactions within the entertainment industry.

Tom Segura shares a memorable dinner experience, "[49:17] And we had a security guy, like, assigned to us for this weekend," illustrating the unexpected and often humorous situations that arise when celebrities navigate public appearances.

Final Reflections and Closing Remarks

As the episode draws to a close, Bobby and Andrew express their appreciation for Tom Segura's contributions and the enduring friendships within their circle. Bobby emphasizes, "[43:01] What are you asking? Ultimately, what are you asking?" underscoring the importance of genuine connections and mutual support among friends and colleagues.

Tom reflects on the value of friendship and the impact of their collaborative efforts, stating, "[43:24] I miss you guys crazy." The episode concludes with heartfelt acknowledgments and a comedic twist, reinforcing the bond shared among the hosts and their guest.

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Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee ([00:00]): "You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?"
• Andrew Santino ([02:19]): "It's right there. Right?"
• Tom Segura ([03:18]): "Every title sounds fake until it's, like, official."
• Andrew Santino ([46:07]): "So you kiss that man's tit just like that. What did he say?"
• Tom Segura ([43:24]): "I miss you guys crazy."
• Andrew Santino ([55:34]): "I have been to a celebrity meeting where a celebrity reveals something."

This episode masterfully blends humor with candid conversations, offering listeners an entertaining and insightful look into the lives of Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, and their guest Tom Segura. Through playful teasing, personal anecdotes, and genuine reflections, "Bad Friends" delivers a memorable and engaging podcast experience.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[Andrew Santino]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something. We're bad friends. Yeah. What are you doing with the drink? Give it to the king. God.

[Bobby Lee]

Give the king his drink, dude. Give the. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Get him a side table to put that on also.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, before you do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Before you do that, clear off that table.

[Andrew Santino]

Bow. Bow to Tom.

[Bobby Lee]

Take it all off.

[Andrew Santino]

Bow to Tom.

[Bobby Lee]

Bow to him.

[Andrew Santino]

Bow to Tom first.

[Bobby Lee]

Bow to him. Say, my liege, I am.

[Andrew Santino]

My leash.

[Bobby Lee]

Say, I am so proud to have met you in person, my liege.

[Andrew Santino]

It's just from my homeland. Sucky, sucky, Saki sucky.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, now go. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let him put drinks on your back until Carlos can clear off the table.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Use him at the table. Yeah. Good boy.

[Tom Segura]

I don't hear anything. No.

[Bobby Lee]

God damn it.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn it, man.

[Bobby Lee]

I think he might have.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, there we go. Yeah. You just had to.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Did you just. Did you do that?

[Tom Segura]

You can bring it down a little bit.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

All the way.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty hot. That's all right.

[Tom Segura]

You can bring it down a little.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry, sir.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

I was like.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you deaf? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa. What? What? I just got it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm trying to insult our guest.

[Tom Segura]

Fancy Spaniard.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, dude. Number one. We're family. Yeah, that's number one. Number two. He's the king. Number two. Number three, Right? Number three.

[Bobby Lee]

Andrew's. What kind of death. Watch your tone, bud.

[Andrew Santino]

Bro.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to get shipped back? You want ice? You want me to. You want me to send ice?

[Andrew Santino]

I have a passport now.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll bring fire. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

How long it is funny.

[Tom Segura]

He is like that. Sounds like he just got. Did you just get the passport?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, two years ago.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, okay. Okay. It sounded like. It sounded like it arrived last week.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I have a passport now. No, he did. He took a citizenship test, and he's an American citizen. We're proud of him. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Way to go, man.

[Andrew Santino]

So I'm not to. Let's introduce our guest.

[Bobby Lee]

Ladies and gentlemen, our guest today is one of the most powerful, poignant.

[Andrew Santino]

It's too much.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a lot. It's Tom Segura. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Take out poignant. Poignant and powerful.

[Bobby Lee]

He is powerful and poignant.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

And he has a show out right now on Netflix called Bad Thoughts, which we are going to sue for as a bad friends company. Man.

[Tom Segura]

It's right there. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Are there other words you could have used?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, there were awful. 300 awful thoughts. It could have been.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Atrocious thoughts.

[Tom Segura]

Yep.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Alliteration would have been good. Like tyrannical. Terrible. Terrible thoughts. Well thought. Tyrannosaurus rex.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Synonyms for bad you could have used.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Zoom in. Zoom in.

[Bobby Lee]

Substandard.

[Tom Segura]

Unacceptable would have been good.

[Bobby Lee]

Unacceptable thoughts. Second rate.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Dreadful.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Dreadful.

[Andrew Santino]

Not up to par thoughts.

[Bobby Lee]

Unlucky. Grim thoughts.

[Tom Segura]

Have you thought about what you're gonna name your special?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I haven't, Tom.

[Tom Segura]

It's one of the worst times you can have.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. I can't think of it.

[Bobby Lee]

I just did mine.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. I know. Your. Your title. Say it. Yeah, but I know your title's great.

[Tom Segura]

There's this thing, too, when you. When you're naming, and they pointed us out to me because we were submitting just dozens of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Every title sounds fake until it's, like, official. Right. When you're. When you're throwing them around, you're like, that sounds like a madeup. That doesn't sound real.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, ChatGPT says Bobby's comedy spell should be called Tiger Dad. Unfiltered Kimchi. The Slept King. Pork Chop Samurai.

[Andrew Santino]

Undiagnosed.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the only one. Trauma Llama. So good.

[Tom Segura]

I feel like if. If you do go with Still Bobby, you got to do one of these poses.

[Andrew Santino]

How about this?

[Bobby Lee]

There.

[Tom Segura]

You're Still Bobby. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, does your title. I was thinking about this because you guys are the pros.

[Bobby Lee]

Correct.

[Andrew Santino]

And you guys are better than me.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

What, as people?

[Andrew Santino]

You mean people draw better mediums?

[Bobby Lee]

As people as comics, as friends, as. As actors, as writers, as performers.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Everything.

[Andrew Santino]

Really? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, take it away.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. Now go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It is so good. Anyway, well, I was going to say, does your title have anything to do with your jokes or your theme? Or can it just be random?

[Tom Segura]

It can be random.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Well, why can't I just do the Slept King?

[Tom Segura]

You can.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Trauma Llama is more fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but I don't have jokes about llamas.

[Bobby Lee]

I certainly think you could write one. Let's do one right now. Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

What did the llama say to his twin brother? Llama.

[Bobby Lee]

What did he say?

[Tom Segura]

You know, because you're open.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. That's dead. Online.

[Tom Segura]

Well, the opener is your table setter for the hour, so that's a good way to start the hour, let people know what kind of show they're gonna.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Sure. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, listen, you're my. You're a better friend than me. Right. And you're a better actor and all that stuff he said. Right. But what I'm saying to you is that. Are you being real right now?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You think that joke I just wrote should be my opening joke for the special?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, you might maybe workshop it a little.

[Bobby Lee]

Do.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks for coming, man. My first special, San Diego.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey. What's up?

[Bobby Lee]

Trapping lava.

[Andrew Santino]

What? Thanks for bringing it up, guy. Right. What did the one llama say? To swim Lava, brother.

[Bobby Lee]

What did he say?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Tom Segura]

Everybody's laughing.

[Bobby Lee]

Losing it, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm losing it.

[Bobby Lee]

My favorite thing you said is it's the table setting for the entire special. And it made me think immediately. I know that's a turn of phrase, but how? Bobby has literally never set a table his entire life.

[Andrew Santino]

I went to etiquette school.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you didn't.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a paper in Poway. I have a clipping of it of me going to etiquette school. They took a photo of me.

[Bobby Lee]

Why did they take a photo of you going to etiquette school?

[Andrew Santino]

Because I didn't know what a fork was.

[Tom Segura]

How old were you?

[Andrew Santino]

12 or something. And so I was like, there's so. Yeah, it was like that. And I picked up a fork. What? Not me. Oh, I was thinking of a fork, like, looking at it like, this is a fork. I mean. And I was like, dude, you went.

[Bobby Lee]

To etiquette class for how long? Be honest.

[Andrew Santino]

For like a year. We also learned dancing. Ballroom dancing.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know what's so funny is that you have none of. None of that is in you or about. Like, I've. You know, I love you and I've. And I've introduced you to different people in my life. And all of them are like, where's this alien from? Like, within minutes, they're like this.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, off. Tom, I think it's your projection because I'm gonna say something. I'll tell you why. We were in Toronto backstage.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he said the same exact. Privately, he goes, where are you from? You're so weird.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I think that's his own projection. I think I'm normal.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, why are you saying he's not projecting? Yeah, why? What would he be projecting?

[Andrew Santino]

Cuz he's weird.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I don't think so, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't think that's weird?

[Bobby Lee]

I think he's. He's about as. He's about as low weird on the weird scale as you are the highest of the weird.

[Tom Segura]

What's weird about me, though?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's weird that you're Peruvian me. But you look like a white guy.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, that's kind of weird. Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

I would say, right?

[Bobby Lee]

It was interesting, not weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's more interesting than weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's like. Oh, you're proving. Proving that's interesting. I didn't know that.

[Andrew Santino]

No. The only guy that lost weight that looks worse.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You see what he's doing? And by the. By the way you look, right. He tried to go to battle with Shane Gillis. Didn't end well, so.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, well. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, here's another thing that you're weird.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You. You. You surprise me.

[Tom Segura]

That's weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, because it's like you're dynamic, but, you know, you hide your talents.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. I'm just.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's not working. Yeah, he's not weird. Look, Carlos.

[Tom Segura]

Weird.

[Bobby Lee]

He's weird, man. We know what weird is. We have it all over. Look at the window of weirdos.

[Andrew Santino]

He said alien.

[Bobby Lee]

You are quite alien.

[Andrew Santino]

So I walk into, like, a dinner. Like.

[Tom Segura]

But here's the thing. You. You take this. You always get defensive. Like it's a. Like it's a critique.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

But what I'm saying is that it's a celebration, like, when people meet you. Like, I. We've. We've toured together. You came and did bad thought. You did an episode of Bad Thoughts with me.

[Andrew Santino]

I have another thing that I let him finish. Okay. But go ahead.

[Tom Segura]

So, like, in. In both scenarios, you know, like, I go like, oh, here, this is my friend Bobby's great comic. And everyone, you know, it's like, oh, cool. Always, if not within the first 20 minutes, within the first few hours, people pull me aside and they're like, yo, this guy's out of his fucking mind.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. Story my fucking life. It's got to be right every day of my life.

[Tom Segura]

And why does he react this way, though?

[Bobby Lee]

He pretends this is an act. It's a. He does this because he wants. This is him ramping up. You know how, like, somebody ramps up. Yeah, he's ramping up silently. Look at him. Go ahead and say what you want to say back. He's not critiquing you. He's just giving you the real world.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

People used to call me eccentric.

[Bobby Lee]

Eccentric, whatever it is. Yeah, that's a one. And expresso.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And espresso. Eccentric.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you get me espresso? I'm an egg centric. That's what you should call your special eccentric espresso.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Water.

[Bobby Lee]

Did A Rama, save towards the queen.

[Andrew Santino]

Brother, you're on fire today. So women used to go, you're eccentric. And I Googled it, and I don't think that I'm any of that.

[Bobby Lee]

You are eccentric. We've looked it up on this show.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So unconventional and slightly strange.

[Andrew Santino]

But that's about. That's about. That's about society. Like, society tells you how to behave one way, right.

[Tom Segura]

Not everybody is weird about you. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's the deal. You are eccentric. We love. That's what we like about you.

[Tom Segura]

It's the most fun thing.

[Andrew Santino]

But I honestly. Can I just say. Oh, can I just. I honestly think that I'm normal for you.

[Bobby Lee]

You are.

[Andrew Santino]

That when I wake up, I go, oh, normal. You know what I mean? Like, no, I don't do that.

[Tom Segura]

You wear a mask.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't do that. No, no, no. I go, oh, good morning. No, I go, oh, morning. Yeah, yeah. Like that. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I give you an example? Okay, here's the deal.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like this.

[Bobby Lee]

If I said to my mom and dad in Chicago, if I said, tom Seguro's coming over for dinner tonight, they'd go, oh, wow, awesome. Oh, my God. And then if I say. When I said, bobby, Mom, Dad, Bobby's coming home for dinner, my mom goes, really? What? Is he. Okay, that's a fact. They were there. All right.

[Andrew Santino]

When I went to your fucking Thanksgiving fucking dinner, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wasn't I polite?

[Bobby Lee]

You were. And I joined my fucking. You were sitting on.

[Andrew Santino]

I am.

[Bobby Lee]

You were putting on.

[Andrew Santino]

I am.

[Bobby Lee]

You were putting.

[Andrew Santino]

Who? I am, dude. I'm a normal dude.

[Bobby Lee]

How much of an act was he fucking putting on? It was unbelievable.

[Tom Segura]

You were watching football with his dad.

[Bobby Lee]

It's such bullshit.

[Andrew Santino]

Because that's what I do in my normal life.

[Bobby Lee]

He's such a liar.

[Tom Segura]

You've watched football before.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, but, like. But it's like all the Kansas City Chiefs are playing the. Philadelphia. Philadelphia.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Yeah. And you know. Because they should change the name.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they did.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They changed it. Philadelphia. Philadelphia.

[Andrew Santino]

Skyhawks. Whatever.

[Tom Segura]

They are Skyhawks.

[Andrew Santino]

So. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's so close.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's Eagles. Hey. There we go.

[Tom Segura]

You got it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Name me some football.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to guess? Pittsburgh.

[Andrew Santino]

Steelers.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good.

[Tom Segura]

Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Detroit Lions.

[Tom Segura]

Chicago. Got to know that.

[Andrew Santino]

Bears.

[Bobby Lee]

Arizona. That's a tricky.

[Andrew Santino]

Cardinals.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's good. Wow. You know, all them all.

[Andrew Santino]

So. That's my point. I'm. I act like this in show business areas.

[Bobby Lee]

Good for You.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. So, like, you know, I met Chuck Lori the other day. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Brag. Big brag. Big brag.

[Tom Segura]

Was it a general? Like, was it a.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we were just hanging out.

[Bobby Lee]

Where?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, we were just hanging out, me and Chuck Lori.

[Andrew Santino]

And I act weird around him because I'm like, use me as innocent come five and a half guys or whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

You. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

And so it's like, I act. I can see myself. Like, my brother does it. My brother acts weird in front of you. He. He's. That's not who he is.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. I've seen both sides of your brother.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So it's like. I think that I kind of, like, accentuate certain things.

[Bobby Lee]

You play it up, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. That's normal, though.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you so much.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I have a qualm with you.

[Tom Segura]

Tell me.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, okay. This fool, right? You know, I don't. I'll bring it up privately.

[Bobby Lee]

No, do it now. You might as well do it now.

[Andrew Santino]

That look was fucking. You have a look now, Dan.

[Tom Segura]

Now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your look now is improved dramatically.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

He can look at me with an eye or both eyes, if you may. And. And you can go just in one eye. Shut the up.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, but I wasn't doing that.

[Bobby Lee]

He didn't do that, though.

[Tom Segura]

I didn't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me. What the.

[Tom Segura]

I'm curious as to what your qual.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, check this out. Dude, this is so funny.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Here's here. I'm Bobby, making it up.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I'm not. I'm not making. I'm not making it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm making it up right now in my head. Making it up. I'm making it up. I'm making it up right now in my head. Go.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not gonna say it.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, come on.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on, dude, don't do this. Just do it.

[Tom Segura]

What's your qualm?

[Bobby Lee]

Please.

[Andrew Santino]

What did. So what the qualm was that? You called me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, I'm doing a project, right. And I go. And you called me facetime. So then I went to your bad thoughts thing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I went to the director. I'm like, oh, of the project that you're doing. And I go, I'm in it. Right? He's like, we'll see.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I don't understand.

[Bobby Lee]

Hold on one second. I'm just gonna. Who said I'm gonna give this story the light? Is this. Is that it?

[Tom Segura]

Wait, that went to the premiere? That's what you're saying?

[Bobby Lee]

And you were worried. You weren't in it? You're in the show.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it was a different project.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, what?

[Andrew Santino]

The movie?

[Tom Segura]

The movie.

[Andrew Santino]

You called me a movie. And then when I went to the. And talked to the director, he made it seem like I wasn't in it.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe you're not.

[Tom Segura]

What did he say?

[Andrew Santino]

He goes, we'll. Maybe he was joking, like we're gonna have auditioning or something, but you know what I mean. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Were you good in the movie, do you think?

[Andrew Santino]

We haven't done it yet, so.

[Bobby Lee]

What the are you talking about?

[Tom Segura]

He's. He's talking about that there's a movie coming up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That your offer is coming this week for.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And.

[Andrew Santino]

And he's. Oh, wow. You know, I believe that. Yeah. He'll turn it down, but he might. You know how he does.

[Bobby Lee]

He might.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you know what? Not. We can't all do Karate Ghost.

[Tom Segura]

Karate Ghost.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. This guy.

[Tom Segura]

What's Karate Ghost?

[Bobby Lee]

My favorite thing about Bobby. Sometimes Bobby's like, don't do the Asian accent anymore, man. I'm trying to get away from that kind of shit. And I'm like, okay, fine.

[Tom Segura]

I.

[Bobby Lee]

What'd you do this week? He's like, I shot Karate Ghost.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that, deadline? Yeah, it's not deadline.

[Bobby Lee]

Belushi, Bobby Lee and who else? Tim Rosin, Colton, Gobo. Those are fake names. Those are. AI.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that dude right there is in the new Karate Kid movie.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, buddy. I'm just teasing.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, so have you. Is this.

[Andrew Santino]

I shot it already.

[Tom Segura]

And Steve.

[Andrew Santino]

How. He's in it, too.

[Tom Segura]

Is it just your voice?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, I'm literally in it, but.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop it.

[Andrew Santino]

What the.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a good movie. It's gonna be big.

[Tom Segura]

How was it, Steve?

[Bobby Lee]

How? He's in it. By the way, here's how I know Steve. How he's in it.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Steve. How? He called me. I was at the gym and he. They called me to say, hey, man, did Bobby change his number? I can't get through to him at all. I was like, you got the right number, bud.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Yeah. I texted him back, though.

[Bobby Lee]

You did? At. Finally.

[Andrew Santino]

We called. Yeah, I called him. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Set in a town ruled by an absurd karate law, the film watches a lonely teen form an unlikely bond with the ghost of his late father's favorite action hero. Is that right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then you're the. You're the fake.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I play a sensei. I do think Asian. I do think Asian.

[Tom Segura]

I was going to say, how's your English in it? Is It. The kind we all want to hear.

[Andrew Santino]

The. You all right?

[Bobby Lee]

But it's based on a popular comic book, right? In the video game.

[Andrew Santino]

So here's the deal, okay? I fucking look at you in that IMDb photo.

[Tom Segura]

That's great, man. Down there.

[Bobby Lee]

This guy's killing it, man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That was from a long time ago. 1996.

[Bobby Lee]

That's when VH1 was still on the air.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So handsome.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Anyway, this is what happened, Tom.

[Tom Segura]

Kick punch.

[Andrew Santino]

I had to fly.

[Tom Segura]

You had a. Tell me. You had what?

[Andrew Santino]

Come on, dude. I feel so defenseless. I being. I'm being bullied by both of you.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you deserve this?

[Andrew Santino]

I do.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you do.

[Andrew Santino]

I do.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

I apologize.

[Bobby Lee]

That's fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. I didn't show up to a meeting.

[Tom Segura]

You. Yeah, what was it, at noon or something?

[Andrew Santino]

You're like, it's 10aM in the morning.

[Bobby Lee]

10, 10:30. Carlos and I were on the phone with Ireland. We were zooming with Ireland doing morning press, and they were like, where's Bobby? Is Bobby. Is Bobby gonna be coming with you?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I was like, well, he's not at my house. We have two separate homes, so I don't know where. And they're like, really? Can you get a hold of Bobby? And I was like, I can't. We can't get a hold of Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. How mad were you?

[Bobby Lee]

We had this plan.

[Andrew Santino]

How mad were you?

[Bobby Lee]

I said, you're right, Irishman. We have had this plan for weeks. Yeah. I can't believe Bobby's not on the call. I was like, I can't either. You know what, dude? He never does stuff like this. And the Irishman goes, ah, that's so disappointing that I thought we'd get you together and you'd be goofing together. And I said, me, too. Me too, bud. Me too.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. How many times I have to fucking apologize for it. Karate Ghost.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we not talk about Karate Ghost?

[Tom Segura]

You didn't even tell me, by the way.

[Andrew Santino]

What? About what?

[Tom Segura]

Well, you. I. You had asked me and. And, you know, about. About you and bad thoughts and, like, is it funny? Is it good? And I was like. And then I was like, thank you so much for doing it. Did you watch it?

[Bobby Lee]

The. You know he didn't watch it.

[Tom Segura]

You didn't watch it?

[Bobby Lee]

No fucking chance.

[Tom Segura]

You didn't watch yourself?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Well, so what happened? Was this.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, what happened?

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you what happened. So Gilbert from Tiger Belly.

[Bobby Lee]

Correct.

[Andrew Santino]

I made him watch it. So he saw the whole show.

[Bobby Lee]

So you Paid another guy to watch your scene for you.

[Tom Segura]

And.

[Andrew Santino]

And then before. Because, you know. And he goes, your sketches is not as strong, you know, as the other sketches.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it your fault?

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Just listen to what I'm saying, Tom. I don't want it when you roll around. All right? So what I'm saying is that. And so I'm like, oh, but I have to say, I've gotten a lot of taxes. How great I was in it.

[Tom Segura]

You're so funny in it.

[Andrew Santino]

So my point is, is that. Thank you so much.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. You were. You were really great in it, honestly.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Why didn't you want to watch it?

[Andrew Santino]

Andrew, do you watch everything you're in?

[Bobby Lee]

No, but I watch everything you're in.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. And I watch Nicky. Nicky.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you.

[Andrew Santino]

Nicky Stinky?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What's it about?

[Andrew Santino]

It's about golf, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good. Say less.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, so I don't watch things that I'm in.

[Bobby Lee]

Me neither.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. But sometimes I force myself to. Yeah. I mean, I'm trapped into it.

[Tom Segura]

You're gonna be happy with yourself in this one day when you see it. You're very funny in it.

[Andrew Santino]

Also, if. If it was shown at the premiere, I would have been forced to watch it. But it's like. But based on the other sketches on the show, let me say it's this, okay? I was talking to my date about it, and I go, number one, I've never seen anything like it. Okay. Number two, it shot like a film. Number three, it's crazy funny. So what I'm saying is, is that thank you for putting me in it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's. It's prestigious, and I want to say that congratulations.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, thanks, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus Christ. Listen up to me.

[Andrew Santino]

No, listen. You listen to me.

[Bobby Lee]

You listen to me.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, I will.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going to tell you about the only gift that any dad wants to get this Father's Day. Get him Gold Belly. Gold Belly ships the most iconic foods from the best restaurants across the country straight to his door for free. Like this Chicago's finest new Luma luminaries.

[Andrew Santino]

And also, can I just say, during the pandemic, I survived with the gold Belly. I got pies from North Carolina, I got cakes from New York, and I got these pizzas from Chicago. You get the best from all over the United States of America, and it delivers your house. And, you know, it comes. Some of it comes frozen.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

And it's easily microwavable or baked in your oven. Right. And it's you get delicious foods from all over the country. And wow. I'm we're just trying to open your world.

[Bobby Lee]

We just want to open your world. Don't say contained to your little bubble in your little neighborhood of the three restaurants you always go to, there's an ease of shipping and a quality of food that is like no other. You can get anything from anywhere pretty much on gold belly. So if you're looking to make dad feel like an absolute legend this father's day, or you just want to impress your friends and family with an epic meal, next time you Host, go to GoldBelly.com and get free shipping and 20% off your first order with promo code BAD FRIEND.

[Andrew Santino]

That's Gold Belly.com code BAD FRIENDS for free shipping and 20% off your 1st order.

[Bobby Lee]

Old belly baby. Shopify. Cha ching cha ching ching cha ching cha ching.

[Andrew Santino]

Upgrade your business again. Get the same checkout we use with Shopify. You know, we have an online business. We would not have one without Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

That's exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

Nobody, nobody does it better than Shopify. And it's the humble. It's the home of the number one.

[Bobby Lee]

Checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%. You know, there's these companies like allbirds, you know, the shoes I love birds and stuff like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Skims.

[Bobby Lee]

Skims is great too. And you think great business, great business, great business. But what's really going on behind them? The business behind the business.

[Andrew Santino]

Shopify. Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

It's Shopify.

[Andrew Santino]

So if you're into growing your business like we all are, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere else in between.

[Bobby Lee]

So upgrade your business and get the same checkout that Skims and Allbirds uses right now. Sign up for your $1 per month trial [e-mail] Bad friends all lowercase.

[Andrew Santino]

You guys just got to go to shopify.com all lowercase bad friends to upgrade your selling today.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to shopify.combadfriends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com bad friends. The NBC Nightly News legacy isn't handed.

[Andrew Santino]

Down or NBC News. I'm Tom Brokaw.

[Bobby Lee]

I hope to see you back here.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm Lester Holt.

[Tom Segura]

It's carried forward.

[Andrew Santino]

Tom Yama is there for us.

[Bobby Lee]

Firefighters are still working around the clock. As the world changes, we look for what endures.

[Andrew Santino]

We are coming on the air with breaking news right now.

[Bobby Lee]

We look for A constant.

[Tom Segura]

And from one era to the next, trust is the anchor for NBC Nightly News.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm Tom Yamas. A new chapter begins.

[Tom Segura]

NBC Nightly News with Tom Yamas.

[Andrew Santino]

Evenings on NBC.

[Bobby Lee]

We're not doing that movie anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

I was considering it.

[Bobby Lee]

No chance, Andrew.

[Andrew Santino]

Promise. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You know, when he chases. This is a funny. I bet you. I. I wonder if your guys do this, like, after the show's done, you know, we're done, we're wrapping up, we're saying goodbye, and then he'll. They'll follow you to your car to ask you one thing. Not in front of everybody else. Yeah. He's like, andrew, Andrew. And he chased me to the parking lot. I go, what's up, man? He's like, well, just wondering. And as he's doing this, I'm getting into my car. I'm already gone. You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm leaving. You know what I mean? It's like a kid being like, when will you be back, dad? I'm like, I'm not coming back, buddy. Your mom has you now. And he goes, we. Maybe. Do you think you will be in that movie? Maybe. What did I say?

[Andrew Santino]

I say yes.

[Bobby Lee]

I said, of course I will.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but you're not.

[Tom Segura]

This is a movie.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, there's no fucking way.

[Andrew Santino]

He went to film school.

[Bobby Lee]

Total fucking bullshit.

[Andrew Santino]

We had a real director here two weeks ago.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. We had David Mammon sitting in. David Manning to work with this fucking guy. Yeah, we are. We're going to do your movie. And I can't wait to do it. I'm excited to do it, Andrew.

[Tom Segura]

I hope you consider the movie that we're.

[Bobby Lee]

I've heard. I don't know, man. You know what? But I am very excited to even. We don't have that. You have to. Have to tell me. No one's told me anything.

[Tom Segura]

No, it's coming this week.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it is.

[Tom Segura]

I swear to you. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, are you being fucking. No. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. Right. And I don't like your mischievous smile.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Are you saying to me this? Okay, tell me and I'll be open. Yes. And I'll accept it.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

What you're telling me, Mr. Segura, is that you're going to offer him a part in your movie. Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Through his agency.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Are my agents going to call me? You're going to audition for it? I. To be honest, because we're friends. I love you so much. I love you, too. We did Indian seances in Canada. Right. We've gone through so much together.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you asking? Ultimately, what are you asking?

[Andrew Santino]

Am I going to get an offer?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you want to get an offer for the movie?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, because you're getting one.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't know that.

[Andrew Santino]

He just said it.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't know that.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, hypothetically, would I get one? Not hypothetically. Am I getting one?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know yet. I. Because I.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Did a good job at that thought.

[Tom Segura]

Not like that. It's not like that.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't understand.

[Tom Segura]

You don't. There's a lot of. It's not me going. Him. Yes, him. No, it's not like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you. I don't think I. You don't think I know how movies work?

[Tom Segura]

Well, then why are you yelling?

[Andrew Santino]

Look at my IMDb guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's look at. Let's check out his IMDb.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, here we go. Now you're gonna shame me.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, what's your problem? He's probably. You're probably gonna get something. You never know.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, let's see this imdbl.

[Andrew Santino]

No, just kidding. Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that. Stacked. Stacked.

[Tom Segura]

So many.

[Bobby Lee]

What else do you need?

[Tom Segura]

God damn.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that right there. Kicking it. Old school. Chili Chill. I mean, it never ends.

[Tom Segura]

What's your favorite thing that's on there? Do you have one favorite?

[Bobby Lee]

He's got to fix the. Mikey.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad thoughts.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, stop.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello. I know. Listen, I'm being real. Yeah, let's be real for a second. I know how the biz works. And.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a great actor.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I understand why you would. And I'll catch you on the flip side. Yeah, I'll catch you on the flip side.

[Tom Segura]

But it's not like. It's definitely not like.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, no, it's. But, you know, I'm gonna talk.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I cut this off and change this.

[Andrew Santino]

Change the subject.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to say something.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Let's get real.

[Bobby Lee]

We are a little heartbroken. We do. We do miss you. It's a little annoying that everyone left us. Can we be honest and tell our friends everybody left us. We're here alone on this little island.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Also, it's gonna die out there.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, he. Yeah, he's been. He's been. He's trying to curse it.

[Tom Segura]

Well, he was telling me that in 2020.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

He's like, you don't feel the fucking wave coming back here right now? And I go, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

I did say that. Huh?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, you did.

[Andrew Santino]

No. You know what? I think we're jealous.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not jealous. We miss our friends. I miss.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the thing. It's like when the. Half the community moves you. I mean, you. It's like Game of Thrones.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It was so fun, by the way, to be in the store the other night when we ran into each other. Yeah, that was such a fun night.

[Andrew Santino]

That was a fun night.

[Bobby Lee]

Felt like the old days.

[Andrew Santino]

The old days, you know, I mean, I remember when Rogan was there. You, all these guys, you know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Seth.

[Andrew Santino]

Seth Rogen. Yeah, yeah. And all those guys. You're so quick today.

[Bobby Lee]

Thanks, man.

[Andrew Santino]

God, you're so good.

[Bobby Lee]

Now you turn it up.

[Andrew Santino]

Good sleep?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Did you?

[Andrew Santino]

Not really.

[Bobby Lee]

I can tell.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Because your demeanor.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my demeanor's off.

[Bobby Lee]

You're slower today. You sound slurry.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

It's early for you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's early for me.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, how. This is early.

[Bobby Lee]

Very early.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Too early.

[Bobby Lee]

We know.

[Tom Segura]

What's a normal wake up time? I know we've talked about it, but I don't remember.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, no, when I have nothing. Yeah, when I. When. When I have nothing to do. Right? So when I have nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. How funny is that? How funny is that for you to say that to me in front of my. When. When I have nothing to do? We have so much going on and it's so funny. What he's saying is when Andrew has all the stuff to do and I don't do any of it, I get to fucking sleep till 5. It's amazing.

[Tom Segura]

That's insane, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

He sleeps till 4pm and then we shoot at 6 or 7pm Usually.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't have children.

[Bobby Lee]

Neither do I.

[Andrew Santino]

We have.

[Bobby Lee]

We have jobs.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, so what, to get up at 4? What time did you go to sleep, though?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, last night, for instance, if I may. Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Tom Segura]

You may.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so I'm playing. So I'm playing. I was playing Oblivion but watching House of the Dragon at the same time.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, double down.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I was doubling down again.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it.

[Andrew Santino]

But with Oblivion, I could just wander.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't need to really be pick up mushrooms, you know, I mean, you.

[Bobby Lee]

Know, you're foraging and stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I'm an alchemist, right. In the game. So like I like making potions and stuff, you know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

You're quite the alchemist in the real world as well.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And then taking Grand Soul Gems, trigger the Black Soul Gems, you know, I mean, why are you.

[Tom Segura]

But you are slurring. Is that from a thing?

[Andrew Santino]

I haven't slept Good. Last night.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. It's not like a neurological condition or something?

[Andrew Santino]

Are you being real right now? You think I'm slurring?

[Tom Segura]

Well, you said I pick up mushrooms.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you did. Okay, he is right.

[Andrew Santino]

Or I'll be more clear then.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so what I'm gonna say. This will make dumb. Let me finish. Let me finish. Okay. So then. Then the birds. Tweet, tweet, chirp, chirp.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Sounds like I'm teaching you English.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you're right. I literally had one hour of sleep last night.

[Tom Segura]

Wait a minute.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So what? Wait, you're playing the game? The movies on TV show. TV show. And then what it show? It's 5, 6am Later.

[Andrew Santino]

5, 6am okay. And then I go. Bath time.

[Bobby Lee]

He takes a bath. He loves morning baths.

[Andrew Santino]

So I have buckets in the bathtub. And also my tree. Tea oil.

[Bobby Lee]

Tea tree.

[Andrew Santino]

Whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

We're gonna figure it all out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Tea tree, tea tree.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. So I had one hour of sleep, so I'm like, really tired. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you go on a date? Were you going to date last night, though?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no date.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't lie.

[Andrew Santino]

Swear to God.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, so the bath is over around 7, 8am Then, then do you get.

[Andrew Santino]

It's called a Korean ritual.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Do you get body scrub too? You got scrubbed.

[Andrew Santino]

So I have two scrubbers. One for my feet.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And the one for all my whole body.

[Bobby Lee]

What are the buckets for? In the tub?

[Andrew Santino]

Because when you do. Yeah, right. Then I take the bucket, fill it with warm water and I pour it over my back.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, wow, you're super Korean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I lay there, listen to music, and then by the time. Then it's 10.

[Tom Segura]

Then it's 10.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Then it's now it's 10, man. Now it's 11. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

That's when I'm on the call with Ireland.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly. And then what happens is I hear my dogs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

In the backyard. Because my bedroom, you have a pool and a really nice backyard.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I mean, you don't have to flex that hard.

[Bobby Lee]

He does too.

[Andrew Santino]

Ozembeck. I took a shot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we know.

[Andrew Santino]

And now I'm like, oh, my God, the dogs are running around. I'm right.

[Bobby Lee]

They're hungry. They have to eat and piss.

[Andrew Santino]

And so then I double check my phone to see if the alarm is on. It was.

[Bobby Lee]

It was on. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And then I went to sleep.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

So what's up? What's up? What do you. You got A problem with that.

[Bobby Lee]

So that's about 11:30 or so.

[Tom Segura]

That's a normal day. You're not a weird guy.

[Andrew Santino]

But normally, like, for instance, the karate ghost week.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you're filming is a different thing.

[Andrew Santino]

So if I have a 5am call time, I'm there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I was gonna say, how do you. How hard is it for you to pivot when you're working in a production and you.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't sleep.

[Tom Segura]

You just don't.

[Andrew Santino]

I just show up. Like, no sleep.

[Tom Segura]

So you show up and then.

[Andrew Santino]

But then if I have two days in a row, then that night I'll sleep at 7.

[Tom Segura]

Right. You'll just pass.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And he knows the lines.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, He's a pro.

[Andrew Santino]

I do. I know my lines.

[Bobby Lee]

Show up knowing the lines. That is a fact.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Show up knowing the lines and he shows up on time, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, I'm getting better at though, memorizing lines when I'm there.

[Bobby Lee]

It's giving you more incentive to not memorize lines.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, I'm just saying I still memorize them. But there was one day where I was like, I was so tired. I'll just do it in the morning. Right, right. It was a lot of pages. Oh, and I could just do it quickly. What? What?

[Bobby Lee]

You're really solidifying your offer from the new movie.

[Tom Segura]

Well, yeah, that's just. I just get panicked if you're like.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you're the lead. You're number one on the call sheet for that. Yeah, yeah. So you have a lot of lines.

[Tom Segura]

That's true.

[Andrew Santino]

And that horror movie did really good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think that not the best number.

[Andrew Santino]

What was that movie called?

[Tom Segura]

What? The one that I had a role in.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you were like the VHS clerk.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, Countdown.

[Andrew Santino]

Countdown.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, bring it up. I want to see a photo.

[Andrew Santino]

I love that movie.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When I saw Cigar because I watched.

[Bobby Lee]

Every horror type in his name with the Countdown actually that the.

[Tom Segura]

The scene for me went, is there he is. No, but this look at the acting. The scene with the next to it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And the cell phone store that goes like. That's like even like hood clips over. You play it. Because people love a customer service guy being like, hey, off.

[Andrew Santino]

I love. I love. Honestly, I love drew mov scenes in that movie.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, thanks.

[Bobby Lee]

But yeah, that is on hood clips. 100%. That's World Star's favorite.

[Tom Segura]

They're like, hey. And then people comment like, well, she deserves it. She was talking.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, deserve that. Get up on my man's face.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Too much. You did it.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but it was. We're doing it in context. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh. What?

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's good.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You know my favorite thing to watch, by the way? It's graduation season and black graduation is the greatest thing in the world. Have you watched black high school?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They're losing their mind. I love most fun I've ever seen.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I love where it was like all women just.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Lee]

Going off chaos. Give me videos. Go to YouTube. Go to YouTube and just do Black Graduation Celebration.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, it's. Yeah, it's wild. And then sometimes it goes from these incredible, like dance, you know, like celebratory things to just an all out riot.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a fist fight. Yeah, it's a. Yeah, amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

You know they call that, huh? Joy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Joy and happiness.

[Andrew Santino]

You went to college, Tom.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at this. Look. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.

[Andrew Santino]

Down.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey. Hey.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so cool, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

I love this. I love this so much. Damn.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, it's so good.

[Tom Segura]

That's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

This is it. My grandma. All right, that's it. Anyway, and then. And then a white person has to ruin it with salt.

[Andrew Santino]

There's some turmeric.

[Tom Segura]

That kid's moves were so, so, so good.

[Bobby Lee]

But I'm saying though, how. How has this not been? How is this now? Is this like new to us?

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you guys are white people are stiff and they don't know joy.

[Tom Segura]

You don't think white people know joy?

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

At a level, you think Asian graduations are buck like that? Are you out of your fucking mind?

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

You think an Asian graduation celebration would be fucking wild?

[Tom Segura]

Asian.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, look up. Okay, look up. Oh, hold on. Carlos. Carlos, look at me. They go directly. Carlos, look at me. After that, look up the gradu where people can wear whatever they want in Japan. Go ahead. I'm gonna prove you wrong for once in my life.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it? Hello Kitty all over the place?

[Andrew Santino]

No, just listen so people can anything in your graduation at Kyoto University. Graduation isn't just about formal robes. It's a celebration of individuality. Instead of sticking to the usual caps. That's joy, dude. Yeah. Japanese universe.

[Bobby Lee]

Time out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys are so repressed as a culture that you're like. You have to dress up like weird fantas creatures.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

In order to like, feel something.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's expression.

[Bobby Lee]

No, because they're not allowed to express any other time of day. They have to be head down on the train. Quiet.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Is this a look at.

[Tom Segura]

And they also wore masks that you can't even actually express yourself in.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. It's not even them.

[Tom Segura]

Like mascot helmet.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but. But with the head helmet on and off. It's the same thing. Their faces are the same.

[Bobby Lee]

This is repression.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

This is heavy repression.

[Andrew Santino]

Is this oppression?

[Bobby Lee]

What is that?

[Andrew Santino]

It's a ninja.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, that's expression. What's your little sarcasm bomb? That's express. Oh, that's Nagasaki.

[Tom Segura]

Was it a joke or was that, like, Hiroshima?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that was more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was definitely Hiroshima. The. The cloud was bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't even try. Don't try to play like you're Asians are stiff as fucking whites. Black people celebration is individual to them. You don't get to fucking.

[Andrew Santino]

Tom.

[Bobby Lee]

Get to be on that fence.

[Andrew Santino]

Were you, for once. Because you've been. It's been the duo.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Against Papa.

[Bobby Lee]

That's bullshit.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So what I'm saying is this, for once.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that a form of expression?

[Tom Segura]

Is that a form of expression?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I mean, it's. It's very repressed expression. Yes, it is an expression.

[Bobby Lee]

This does not happen at Korean graduate. This is Japanese Japan. You don't get to do that.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay? We're just. We're talking about, like, the race.

[Tom Segura]

Kids smiles at graduation.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's just.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, hey. No.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, now give me a wild white graduation celebration.

[Bobby Lee]

Shooting guns at each other.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

She's like, hey, I'm gonna wear my blue.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, my case was black people celebrate like no one else. You can't lump Asians into there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm just.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys, don't do it like we're in the middle.

[Andrew Santino]

If blacks are tens or fives, you're.

[Bobby Lee]

Zero, you're above whites.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you. That's all I wanted.

[Bobby Lee]

But you're not near them, are they? Yeah, they're above whites for their celebrating, I would say, for their oddity, their culture of oddity. They're weirdos.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're weirdos.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. The weirdos right here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, I just got it. It's your American lens.

[Bobby Lee]

You're American.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

So what I'm saying to you, you're from San Diego. You know, that's about the whitest place on planet Earth.

[Andrew Santino]

You have to wear a new pair of glasses.

[Bobby Lee]

I got lasik.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. I'm just saying you have to look at life with a different lens. Go on a different perspective. Well, teach me what I'M saying is. Is that. You mean culturally? You know, I mean, we're Americans, right? I dabble in Asian, though.

[Bobby Lee]

I dabble in Asian as well.

[Andrew Santino]

You know?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

You do dabble in Asian?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, when I. You know, the way I walk and the way I behave. Maybe it's a cultural thing that I'm from Asia.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a Bobby Lee thing.

[Andrew Santino]

And you perceive it as to be, you know, I mean, weird.

[Bobby Lee]

You're one of one.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm just one of a billion.

[Bobby Lee]

Nobody's like you.

[Tom Segura]

No, I don't think so.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Nobody's like you.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

I haven't met other Asians. None of them.

[Bobby Lee]

None of them are like you. Jimmy Oyang. Nothing like you.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I was molested and beat by my dad. Well, that's what happens.

[Bobby Lee]

That's white.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

See, you are like us. That's our thing.

[Tom Segura]

Now you need to go back to etiquette school for being honest.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you do.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

I think you should probably do a little course.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, where are you gonna go now? Oh, he's walking into a dinner. Anybody order Chinese? Hey, buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello, sir.

[Bobby Lee]

How you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

Excuse me.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you think?

[Bobby Lee]

It looked good.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

That was really respectful.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, very.

[Andrew Santino]

And like. Like your Thanksgiving thing, Like my Thanksgiving.

[Bobby Lee]

Dinner with my parents.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What a lovely time.

[Tom Segura]

So he was super polite there.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, it was so annoying. My mom literally goes, it was so good that everyone came over. I was like, no, it was nice. And she was like, and Bobby. Oh. So, you know, he's so sweet. And I was like, you have no fucking idea, dude. It was such an act. It was such a fucking act. He had that glimmer in his eye, like, when he said goodbye, he turned to me and he was like, okay, bye. And then you're me. He turned and went like this devil. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What am I, prayer? Oh, dude, I did Tom. I did a Thanksgiving prayer at the table.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

How great was that?

[Bobby Lee]

It was, you know. You know it was him. Are you still married to that lady?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he's the best. Yeah, I saw her in that.

[Bobby Lee]

You gotta get out of that, dude. Dude, you gotta get out of that, dude.

[Tom Segura]

No, she's still there.

[Bobby Lee]

Kids aside.

[Andrew Santino]

But you've won the lottery in a way. In a way, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You have a rad wife.

[Andrew Santino]

She is awesome. Not. But just not just. That is like, if I was dating a comic or, you know, married to one. It's rare to find a super funny one.

[Bobby Lee]

And ones that last. I know this is cornball shit, but Honestly, I'm always. It is funny. You two, the only other comic couples that's married and obviously you've been married much longer. Moshe. Natasha.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you're talking about comics.

[Bobby Lee]

Comics that are married.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Mark Norman and his.

[Bobby Lee]

Mark Norman and his wife. Yeah, that's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Comics.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's also new. They've been married for way longer.

[Andrew Santino]

Andy and Rose. Bud Baker comics. New.

[Bobby Lee]

Newer.

[Andrew Santino]

Newer. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, there's the other fun game.

[Bobby Lee]

This is too many more people than I thought.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Isn't Hannah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Hannah Burner and her husband.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Yeah. Both good stand ups.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What are these lists?

[Tom Segura]

Persons.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

But the. But, but the proof is.

[Bobby Lee]

The point is it's incredible that you two have stayed together.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

This long, being both comedians and both reserving your career and no one had to stop.

[Andrew Santino]

But all those examples is that they all are both funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, I've never seen like a really great comic date marry an open micro.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, that wouldn't work.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think it would work by friends.

[Bobby Lee]

You might.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Anyway.

[Tom Segura]

You might have a harem.

[Andrew Santino]

So it does. Yeah. But you guys are together and that's great. What does it celebrate?

[Tom Segura]

That Christina's great. She's awesome.

[Andrew Santino]

We, we love her and she's good actress. Yeah, she was granted actress. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Great mom. Great. Yeah, she's the best, man.

[Bobby Lee]

But honestly, be real with us.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't miss us at all?

[Tom Segura]

I miss you guys crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you?

[Tom Segura]

I tell you this too. This is also totally sincere, man. This show is so funny.

[Bobby Lee]

This dumb show.

[Tom Segura]

This dumb show. This is the only, one of the only things that like, you know, we all are scrolling all the time. I watch every clip.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah, Tommy, come on.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you know what? I would share the same sentiment, but I can't watch Bort. No, I'll watch you. I can't watch Bort.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't even see fucking Bert. Bert anymore. I'm joking around. Burt.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't even see Burt anymore because of his appearance. Yeah. I can't be near. No. We never see him fucking anymore. He's the only guy that stayed in la. And how often do you see Bert for real?

[Andrew Santino]

Not much.

[Bobby Lee]

I went over to his house, we had a little get together. You came. But then outside of that, he's never here.

[Tom Segura]

But do you really miss out? You miss your friends?

[Bobby Lee]

I do a lot of Tom. We do a lot actually. It kind of sucks.

[Andrew Santino]

Reminded a little dance when you're sitting back there.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So he's in the worst. Sitting in the back bucket booth.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't hear a word you just said.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he's in the back. Like the little chairs in the back. Yeah, yeah. What? What didn't you understand?

[Tom Segura]

It was a. It was a rough sentence. It was rough.

[Andrew Santino]

Rocket Money.

[Bobby Lee]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending. It helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Bobby was spending so much money on stupid apps and stuff, games, meditation apps. We did Rocket Money for him and it was almost embarrassing how much money he was.

[Andrew Santino]

I probably spent. I saved thousands of dollars.

[Bobby Lee]

Thousands. You probably truly. Because you didn't know what you were doing. And you know what? Most people don't know. Rocket Money has a dashboard that gives you a clear view of your expenses across all your accounts, so you know what you're paying for.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Rocket Money is going to help, even negotiate to lower your bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. You can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service. You don't have to. And Rocket Money has over 5 million users, has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to 740 a year when they use all the app's premium feature.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Download the Rocket Money app and enter our show name bad friends in the survey so they know we sent you.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from our show Blue chew. You guys, 53 year old man here, Ed Dog and I need to rise.

[Bobby Lee]

You are the Ed Dog.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And in a situation where I need to rise, you know what? I just choo choo here. A couple of minutes later, bam. And the women go woo woo.

[Tom Segura]

Yay.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

That's promo code bad friends. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast and for keeping Bobby Lee hardware.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Crank it up, man. Let's go.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so anyway, I was sitting in the bed. Yeah. And I. I was. And I walked in. I did a little dance in front of you.

[Tom Segura]

You did?

[Andrew Santino]

Because of. I was so happy to see you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it really was. It was fun. Memories, man. Being there was super fun.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. The store is not the same, but it's okay. Things change. They come and they go. Are you going up at the mothership a lot or.

[Andrew Santino]

No?

[Tom Segura]

Well, I've been on tour so much that I'm not one of those people when, you know, you get off of a. A. A week of grinding, you get home, you're like, I gotta get back on stage right away. I don't do that, Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You were always. You're that. You'll always just get up. You'll just go, go, go. You'll just do it again.

[Tom Segura]

That's good. That's good. I. I still go. I went two weeks ago.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So it's just like, depends on the time, but, you know, this summer, I'm not gonna tour. So if.

[Bobby Lee]

What's on the. What's on the. What's on the docket for the summer?

[Tom Segura]

I'm gonna vacay a little vacay, and. And then we shoot something.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we guess what the. Whether he's going to vacation. Let's get.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Bora Bora. No, I don't know where that is.

[Bobby Lee]

Something more elevated. That's in Tahiti.

[Andrew Santino]

That is. Okay. Elevated. Well, I'm gonna say this about him. We did a show in Vegas. We went to that Jose Anders what's her name? Jose Andres.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, hey.

[Tom Segura]

Hometown guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And I go, I thought to myself, oh, this is how he eats.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean, this is how he eats?

[Andrew Santino]

I love.

[Bobby Lee]

Huh? High level, high level food.

[Andrew Santino]

High level everything.

[Bobby Lee]

How many. How much did he order?

[Tom Segura]

I don't remember.

[Andrew Santino]

It was. No, it was a. You order for everybody?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we had a feast.

[Andrew Santino]

It was a feast. It was the greatest steak I've ever had.

[Bobby Lee]

Ever.

[Andrew Santino]

I think so. Because it was the way. Because they gave us a plaque. You know, sometimes when you get, like, Japanese wagyu, he just says it on the menu. This dude came up with an authentic, like a stamp.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

From some Asian dude.

[Bobby Lee]

He stamped the wagyu.

[Andrew Santino]

No, for the Asian dude. It's a gold, like, you know, like Game of Thrones, where you would, like, I mean, put like, you know, wax to hold it together or whatever. And it was like, signed by some Japanese dude.

[Tom Segura]

You know what? I remember about this dinner, too. It was a big dinner. It was probably like 15 of us or something.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Tom Segura]

And we had a security guy, like, assigned to us for this weekend.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And he was like. He came over to me. I thought he was going to tell me, like, something related. He goes, is it cool if my uncle comes by? What? He goes, he goes, yeah, just to, like, you know, meet you. And I go, are you working right now?

[Andrew Santino]

He was like, what'd you say?

[Tom Segura]

I said, of course. And then. And then, you know, we're having dinner. And then the security guy. And then there's just some guy just unk. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And uncle showed up.

[Tom Segura]

He goes, yeah, come over here.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you want. You, like, get up from eating?

[Tom Segura]

Got up from the table. And I was like, what's up, man? He goes, hey. I go, hey. He goes, yeah, I live here. I go, cool, I'm having dinner.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Wow. Did he sit down with us?

[Tom Segura]

No, he did not.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, good.

[Bobby Lee]

But he's been funny as if he sat down.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I get a plate? You're like, I guess, dude.

[Tom Segura]

He showed me, like, photos of some he's working on. This is at the restaurant at, like, during.

[Bobby Lee]

I love this guy. I like when people are bold like that. I think that's funny.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you think so?

[Bobby Lee]

I think it's funny.

[Tom Segura]

It was very funny.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it would bother you.

[Bobby Lee]

I'd laugh about it. But we talk about it.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, you talk, but it's also hilarious. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

What circumstance would you not take a photo with somebody? Dude, I've funeral, obviously.

[Tom Segura]

Funeral.

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's My. I look my best. I'm wearing a suit. We're in a suit. Take a photo.

[Tom Segura]

I don't have that thing, dude. Like, I've. I've been around friends of ours who. I'm like, oh, my God. When they go. When they're like, no, not now, like, all that. I've never done that.

[Bobby Lee]

Never.

[Andrew Santino]

I haven't either.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, the only time I've done.

[Tom Segura]

It for other people, if that makes sense.

[Bobby Lee]

Ah, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, like, one time I was at a dinner with Rogan, and I see a guy, like, there's like a plant in the restaurant, and he's like. And I go, hey, man, what are you doing? He's just like. I go, he's having dinner. Like, So I did it for him, right? I would never do it for. For me.

[Andrew Santino]

I can come up with some scenarios where you wouldn't do it.

[Tom Segura]

Well, okay. If my kids.

[Andrew Santino]

When you're skydiving, just going to say.

[Bobby Lee]

If you're with your family, if you're.

[Andrew Santino]

Skydiving, you won't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Bungee jumping.

[Andrew Santino]

If you were in, like, a war, like, you know, I mean, like, you're a Russian, and then you're fighting Ukraine, and the Russian guy goes, photo. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, can I get the photo? Not right now.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Honestly, only. Only. I think I told the story on here. I was sitting down. We just got off a long flight. My wife and I are sitting down to have dinner, and this guy, like, barges up to the table and doesn't even acknowledge my wife. Like, stares right at me. Like. Like, basically bumps into her way. He's like, yo, dude, I'm a fucking huge friend. Let me get a photo. And that line of questioning also. Let me get a photo. Like, what, dude? I was like, dude, I go, brother, I'm at dinner with my wife. You need to chill the out. Like, you were being a little too. And he went. Sat down. And then the server comes over with a bucket of ice and a bottle of champagne. And I was like, no, no, we didn't. We're not drinking. We're not. Order any booze. And she's like, no, no, this is from a gentleman in the restaurant. I was like, oh, I don't. We hate champagne.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, we don't. I don't like champagne. I hate it. And I was. And she's like, it's one of this spot, you know. The guy's like, oh, it's a really nice bottle. I was like, okay, don't open it. And they're like, don't open. I was like, just put it in the thing. And I go, who's the guy? And then they lead me around the side. It's the guy. Yeah, it's the same guy. And I walked it up to him, and I go, hey, man. And then he goes, dude, I just wanted to apologize. I'm so sorry I took care of your meal. I. That was so fucking rude.

[Tom Segura]

No, that's really.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was like, buddy, you're the man. I go, I don't drink champagne. Here, have it. To take it. He had, like, three girls with him. I was like, do your thing. Thank you. And then I said, let's take a photo. But that turned out the right way.

[Tom Segura]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

But it was cool. Move on him. He was like, I took. I paid for your meal. I was like, oh, that's fucking.

[Tom Segura]

That's nice.

[Bobby Lee]

But at the beginning, I was very like, dude, get the fuck out of here.

[Tom Segura]

Are you. Do you shut people down?

[Andrew Santino]

Never. But there's some annoying circumstances if somebody did that.

[Bobby Lee]

If you're at dinner with a girl and somebody barged and, like, ignored them, you'd be mad. You'd be like, dude, that's fucking crazy rude.

[Andrew Santino]

I had a guy come up to me and from behind, and I feel arms wrapped around me on the side like this. He's. Come on, man. Like that. Without even asking. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, he just snuck in and like, let's. You know. I mean, I was like, what are you doing?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll always take a photo, but if it's. I'm with. If I'm with my wife at dinner, I'm like, dude, it's dinner, man. That's. But also, the kind of person that just is chill about is, like, thinks that that's chill. You're like, are you okay? Yeah, I'm at dinner. We're eating food.

[Tom Segura]

That's the worst time to approach someone, hands down.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Well, just any other time.

[Tom Segura]

Also, I did have one time at a. At a urinal. The guy next to me goes like, no. And I go, hey. And he goes, nice to meet you. And he sticks his hand up, and I go, I'll wait.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's so crazy.

[Tom Segura]

We're done.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Where would you not take a photo? You.

[Andrew Santino]

Me specifically?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you.

[Andrew Santino]

Like I said funeral. I wouldn't do it if I was like, AA meeting.

[Bobby Lee]

Can't do. You can't. Did you get asked to get. Take pictures, bro?

[Andrew Santino]

One time I was at an A meeting, and it was a big one. It was in Louisville, Kentucky.

[Bobby Lee]

Those are big.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. No, it was a speak. It was a speaker meeting.

[Tom Segura]

Ground zero.

[Bobby Lee]

Right, Right. That's where bourbon is made.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. You're talking about 2, 300 people there. Right.

[Tom Segura]

Damn.

[Andrew Santino]

And so in a meetings, they always go, does any. Is there any from out of town? Right. But that was my mistake. Would you please introduce yourself? I go, hey, I'm Bobby. I'm from Los Angeles. I've been sober for whatever the time it was, you know, 12 years, whatever. And I sat back down. Then after the meeting, there was a line.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

To take a photo with me. And I just went, I can't do this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I just, it's just, it's because it's.

[Bobby Lee]

An invasion of your privacy.

[Andrew Santino]

Not only that is like, you know, I go to regular meetings. You know, I mean, sometimes I go to celebrity ones, but like, you know, he does.

[Bobby Lee]

He loves celebrity meetings.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's going to be there?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Who else is getting clear.

[Tom Segura]

I want to ask you a question. And obviously I'm not asking you to reveal actual details, but in a broader sense. Have you ever been to a celebrity meeting where a celebrity reveals something?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And it's just like your dopamine rush.

[Andrew Santino]

Is just like, oh, yeah. Oh, man, I've heard some crazy shits from gigantic people.

[Tom Segura]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Fuck.

[Andrew Santino]

I go to this meeting, I'm going to tell you what night.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's an all men's meeting.

[Tom Segura]

Tuesday.

[Bobby Lee]

What, Thursday.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not Thursday.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's Tuesday.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. And it's. It's invite only. And it's all legendary rock stars. Okay. And I got in it when I back. Way back in the day when I was on mad TV when I got.

[Bobby Lee]

Sober that you have to get recommended. It's like, Raya, somebody has to recommend.

[Andrew Santino]

No, somebody has to go up to the guy and go, can this guy come?

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

You mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

And I've been turned down by celebrity mean. You know that. No, I swear to God.

[Bobby Lee]

What, do they check your star meter? Why the fuck.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, when I first got sober this time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When you were Kicking the Hat, 2022.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Kicking the habit.

[Andrew Santino]

My therapist goes, you should contact this person because he has a really good meaning. So I called this guy and Paul Rubens and I go, can I. I just got sober again. Can I go to your meeting? Go. You're not big enough.

[Tom Segura]

No. Yeah, he said that. For real?

[Bobby Lee]

But honestly, I do know who the guy was.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I wasn't big.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not big enough.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not bad.

[Tom Segura]

He hasn't seen bad thoughts. Maybe you call him again.

[Bobby Lee]

That's also true.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But I went to this. So this Monday night, and it's like, it's so intimidating to see the. Yeah. Because I've pried in that meeting.

[Tom Segura]

Is the person. The person who said, that's good. You're.

[Andrew Santino]

I have.

[Tom Segura]

Is the person who said, you're not big enough. A huge name, though.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, they are too.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And they were like, sorry, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It just. You can't do.

[Tom Segura]

Maybe do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Should I get to a marvel. I should get sober just to see if I could get into better. I would.

[Andrew Santino]

I would relapse then love that. If you call me, go, hey, he let me in the meeting. I would be like.

[Bobby Lee]

How funny would that be if I got into more important meetings?

[Tom Segura]

Dude, you gotta do it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna do it. Dude, I'm gonna do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. It's weird, but I like to go to the regular ones, like the plumbers and all that stuff, because it's like, I want to feel normal.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, but also, like, you're also the.

[Andrew Santino]

No, wait, that's not. No, what I'm saying. Let me rephrase it.

[Tom Segura]

Don't you want to be the big shot at the.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

He does. Yes, he does.

[Andrew Santino]

Cut all that out.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up.

[Andrew Santino]

Cut that out.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop it.

[Tom Segura]

They're all like, we're just regular guys. And you're like, me too.

[Andrew Santino]

No, because with alcoholism, right. It's just like, you want to have commonality with people.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And a connection. Right. And I want to bond people through alcoholism.

[Tom Segura]

Do you share a lot? Are you a share?

[Andrew Santino]

I do.

[Tom Segura]

You do?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And dude, he loves to share.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He gets up there. In fact, he kills.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? I don't like when it's like. So there's two types of. There's three types of meetings. Okay. Okay. Speaker meeting. Right. And then there's like a circle where everyone shares, but the worst kind. And I went to one Tuesday like this, where it was like, anyone can share it, but you have to raise your hand. Right. So I can't. Me, me. I can't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. And so when something. Somebody doesn't raise their hand, they'll pick somebody. So sometimes I'll go pick me. You know what I mean? But I can't raise my hand.

[Bobby Lee]

Because you feel like it's too desperate.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I just want to. Yeah. Because it's like, you know, And I'm always.

[Bobby Lee]

Because you're an attention.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I'm not.

[Bobby Lee]

No. We all. We're standups.

[Andrew Santino]

I am. I am.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we are. You are.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I am.

[Bobby Lee]

You're an attention. Look at how you just reacted to that. You're an attention whore.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And those things are. I mean, that's.

[Tom Segura]

So you'll speak, but not if you have to raise your hand. So in what circumstance do you.

[Andrew Santino]

So some meetings.

[Bobby Lee]

He wants them. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to be like, pick me. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Some meetings are like this, where the secretary. This is. We point to you. You don't raise your hand. Those are ones I like.

[Tom Segura]

You like that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Can you share something with us that you've shared at one of those.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

Because if I say it, it's going to. You cringe.

[Bobby Lee]

No, we won't. I promise. Yeah, we're your friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I like example, you know, I mean, you know, I'll say something like, you know, Socrates once said a life not self examined is not a life worth living. I mean, and so what I love about AA is like, it's internal, you know, I mean, and it's like, it's about looking in the mirror and looking inside yourself. And so. And so, you know, I do the steps. You know, I think it's very important. You know, the weight lifted from 8 and N, you know, I mean, is absolutely incredible. You know, I mean, and I think it's very important, that kind of thing.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you, Robert.

[Andrew Santino]

That.

[Tom Segura]

Like that and then everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, no, but sometimes they'll have a music they'll play you off.

[Tom Segura]

They'll play you off like the Emmys.

[Bobby Lee]

That's incredible. Like, they know when you. They say you're done.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

You're like talking about. Yeah. Was molested. Who let the dogs out.

[Tom Segura]

Really cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And you're like, okay, I'm done. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I think that's pretty incredible that you give them that shtick.

[Andrew Santino]

I have so many different shticks I can use, you know, I mean, when.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you actually being real?

[Andrew Santino]

When there's a hot girl there. No.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, how many times have you scooped one up? A million?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Gonna be so one one throughout my whole life. Sarah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Sarah. That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I shouldn't blow her animity, but yeah. Yeah. That was the only one. I don't go there to like hook up.

[Bobby Lee]

Isn't. It's against the code.

[Andrew Santino]

They call it the 13th step.

[Bobby Lee]

What is that?

[Andrew Santino]

It's these. It's so gross. It's like these old timers, people with men and women, they see a newcomer and they go in, and it's like.

[Bobby Lee]

That'S the 13 step.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. It's. It's not in the steps, but it's like.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I know. It's a hypothetical.

[Andrew Santino]

You're taking advantage of people's vulnerability and desperation because you don't get sober unless you lost a lot, you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no.

[Andrew Santino]

If you lost a lot, you get. Did I say that wrong?

[Bobby Lee]

I have no idea.

[Andrew Santino]

You have to be a very low point in your life. Yeah. I mean, people that are newcomers have lost a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

You mean? And they've. You know what's a great place to.

[Tom Segura]

Be a predator, is what you're saying, right?

[Andrew Santino]

What I'm saying is, is that some people, not probably 1%, right. They'll go in and. Not predator, but they're like, you know, hey, let me take you after the meeting.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Take it to lunch.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me pick you up for meetings. When their intention is, this girl's hot.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And it's. It's unfathomable, and I think it's wrong.

[Tom Segura]

Wow. You're a really good person.

[Andrew Santino]

It says that. It's just. Here's the thing. And. And let's be real for a second, okay? The whole point of it is to get out of yourself, right? So, you know, when there's a newcomer, like, if I'm sitting there in a meeting and a newcomer goes, I'm a newcomer. I'll always reach my hand out and go, hey, man, welcome. You know, if you need anything, let me know.

[Bobby Lee]

Nice.

[Andrew Santino]

I think you're being a jerk.

[Bobby Lee]

I said, that's nice.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. When you do this, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, yeah, I'm listening.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, let's move on from now.

[Bobby Lee]

I said, that's nice. I was being nice. I was being what?

[Tom Segura]

Tom, you'll. You'll also welcome, like, an attractive woman, right?

[Bobby Lee]

You'll welcome them if you need anything.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, no, you know, I. You know. But anyway, you inspired me.

[Bobby Lee]

You've inspired all of us, Tom.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And the biggest bummer of all is we don't get to see you more.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, dude, but the only way.

[Bobby Lee]

We can see you is by watching Netflix Bad Thoughts, available right now on Netflix.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Streaming Name some of the other people that are in this.

[Tom Segura]

So Shea Wiggum's in it.

[Bobby Lee]

Boom.

[Tom Segura]

Who's also in the new Mission Impossible. Phenomenal time for us, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

When I saw him.

[Bobby Lee]

Can he finish?

[Tom Segura]

Dan Stevens. Dan Stevens, incredible actor.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, true.

[Tom Segura]

Daniella Pineda, Phenomenal. She's phenomenal. Who else? Roberto Lee. Bobby Lee.

[Bobby Lee]

Roberto.

[Tom Segura]

Roberto Lee. Oh, my God. Rob Eiler. Kirk Fox. He's in. Fantastic in it. Marlon Bar. Christina Pajitki. Alan. Rachel. Rachel, yeah. Rachel Bloom.

[Andrew Santino]

Alan Barnholtz.

[Tom Segura]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I did a scene with him. He. I love Alan.

[Bobby Lee]

Joseph Rogan.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

None other than Joseph Rogan.

[Andrew Santino]

What did Joe do in it?

[Tom Segura]

Plays a gay. Like a regular gay. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so great.

[Bobby Lee]

And Sickler. Sick dog.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. Sickle cell.

[Bobby Lee]

The boy.

[Andrew Santino]

Sickle cells in it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you ever try to convince him to move down to Austin? Sickle.

[Tom Segura]

We've talked about it. You know, everybody at some point has talked. And then even now, people go like, I got to get out of this city. I'll say it now. I guess maybe post fires and people start talking about it more. But. Yeah, I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

We should. We should get a place down there.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Tom Segura]

I still love it here, though. I have to say that I do love it.

[Bobby Lee]

You love la?

[Tom Segura]

I love la.

[Andrew Santino]

I loved your house.

[Tom Segura]

The one that burned down.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I mean before. I mean, after you left, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You went to that house?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

His entire family was in that house when it burned.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Extremely expensive.

[Andrew Santino]

Can we talk about. I try to bring up the last episode, but then we made a joke out of it. But I'm being real, okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Be real.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you heard of King Charles? Not the. It's a dog. Right. I remember that.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm trying to push this on us.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I. I want you to. Your perspective.

[Bobby Lee]

So can I tell you who my opinion. My guess is that the girl you're dating has a King Charles.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not about King Charles. The dog. It's a dog name.

[Tom Segura]

God, that's an adorable dog.

[Andrew Santino]

No, King Charles, the. The alpha Alpha dog.

[Bobby Lee]

What is this?

[Andrew Santino]

That guy?

[Bobby Lee]

What about him?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. This video is great.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's so great. So what. See that? I'm just.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm just trying to ingest.

[Andrew Santino]

So basically in China, you haven't seen this video?

[Tom Segura]

Is that what he's.

[Bobby Lee]

I have never seen.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, right. In China. Right? There's like, oh, I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Video ends then.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not like that. It's a sanctuary. So there's a dog sanctuary. Right. And there's hundreds of dogs there. Right? I'm boring you.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it just. I mean, so many jokes are running through. It's unbelievable. I mean, you're like. Literally, I'm like loading a gun.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

You're like, in China, there's A hundred dogs.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Kept as a sanctuary. I'm like, this is a buffet. Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so what I'm saying is, is that. But there's one dog, his name is King Charles, and he's the alpha dog. But he's not the biggest, Right. He's super small.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

And the way the dogs behave in front of him. So this video in itself is. King Charles is not in it. Right. A bunch of dogs are fighting, right? Right, King Charles. But it's. It's in the subtle details.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

So. Right, exactly. Play again. See, these dogs are going crazy, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? They're all fighting, right? Yelling at each other. Here comes King Charles. That one. See the. Let's push pause.

[Tom Segura]

That's.

[Andrew Santino]

Rewind a little.

[Bobby Lee]

One dog bowed to him.

[Tom Segura]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

So what the. What dog to his left bows. The other one gets up and leaves.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the most Chinese I've ever seen. They bow. They taught that dog how. It's amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

This brown dog leaves, right? Go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The brown dogs are.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm out of here.

[Tom Segura]

Look at that. The rest of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Tom Segura]

Otherwise, goes into the gate. It's like, I'm out.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm out. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's.

[Andrew Santino]

Slowly, everyone leaves.

[Tom Segura]

Everyone leaves.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I've been obsessed with this guy. This is how you see yourself. Smaller but commanding.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, wow. Is that. Is that a real observation? You think, though, Is that relevant to you, that you feel like this. This is the dog you identify with. You're like, I'm not as big as the other dogs, but I should be respected the way that they.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me tell you the dog that he is in this video. Start the video over. Okay? I'll tell you who Bobby is.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. All these dogs are fighting. Pause. You see the dog sleeping?

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

That is you. That is you.

[Tom Segura]

And that dog gets up and goes, look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, fuck this. This.

[Andrew Santino]

That's me, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

100%. That's you. That's literally you. There's no argument about it. Look at that. Keep him. Watch him off. Look at that. Off. He's gone.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Or that's you, buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Who.

[Bobby Lee]

That's you on the ground. That's me. After you. Didn't you bail on. I'm the King Charles, and you bailed on another fucking gig.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

And then. Look at this. And you try to make excuses, and I put my foot on your throat.

[Andrew Santino]

But it does give you a life. It gives me a perspective of, like, you know, I mean, sizes and everything.

[Tom Segura]

You're.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Nice.

[Andrew Santino]

You mean? Yeah. And the Other day, I was at the Improv. There was a gigantic door guy. He's like 6:3. He's standing out front. And I walked up to and like his breasts, you know, I mean, my head is at his breasts.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I just walked up to him and kissed his breast and walked away. This King Charles dude, how did he.

[Tom Segura]

Like, how did he react?

[Andrew Santino]

Didn't like it at all.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He'S that bottom dog.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Hell yeah, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You kiss that man's tit Just like that. What did he say?

[Andrew Santino]

He laughed.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course. When Bobby Lee kisses you in the.

[Tom Segura]

Breast, dude, it's funny.

[Andrew Santino]

It's funny, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

It is funny. Yeah. I don't know how you get away with that.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know how you do that. Imagine Tommy and I kiss somebody's tit.

[Tom Segura]

It wouldn't go.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that the weird. Is that the weird thing you're talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, if we're going to go full circle. That's what we were talking about at the beginning. Most guys don't kiss other guys tits.

[Tom Segura]

The only thing you should leave with here today is just knowing how not normal you are.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

But in a good way.

[Tom Segura]

In a good way. It's so endearing.

[Bobby Lee]

I want you to impart some words of wisdom for our good friend Tom Segura before he leaves. Because you are an all knowing, all seeing, all being individual. And people come here looking for advice about the world and life and comedy and career.

[Andrew Santino]

I see. I see. Okay, so. I see. I see. I see.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

Let him get in his too.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, I'll make up a proverb.

[Tom Segura]

Please.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, don't say make it up. Just pretend like it's a. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

No, but that's how special I am.

[Bobby Lee]

You say it then.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, you're right. I apologize. A man who says that a word.

[Bobby Lee]

That sounds like a proverb?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, heary, heary. A man who promises gold to a fellow man and negates on that gold is a man who should be boiled in water. Are you. Do you really know the language?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. He's speaking Japanese.

[Andrew Santino]

Holy fuck, dude. Forget what I said. Then forget what I said.

[Bobby Lee]

Ladies and gentlemen, do yourself a big favor. On behalf of the Bad Friends family, please go watch Bad Thoughts right now on Netflix. Please do our best buddy, Tom Segura. We miss and love and we know he's doing right by us. Down.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you why you should watch.

[Bobby Lee]

It, because you're in it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. And also I want a second season so it can continue my story.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, interesting that you think you'd go back.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Probably not.

[Bobby Lee]

It's on him, not on you.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Okay. Everything's on him.

[Tom Segura]

I'd love to.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not gonna do it. Can you look in the camera and say thank you for being a bad friend?

[Bobby Lee]

Say thank you for being a bad friend in Japanese. That was so good.

[Andrew Santino]

D.