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Bobby Lee
I'm ready for my life to change.
Andrew Santino
ABC Sundays.
Bobby Lee
American Idol is all new. Give it your all. Good luck. Come out with a golden ticket. Let's hear it. This is immense world.
Andrew Santino
I've never seen anything like it.
Bobby Lee
And a new chapter begins. You're going to Hollywood. Carrie Underwood joins Lionel Richie, Luke Bryant and Ryan Seacrest on American Idol News Sundays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. Hey, everyone from Texas, Houston, specifically, I need you to buy tickets for my show on. What's it March 28th and 29th of this year. Go to houstonimprov.com buy the tickets or I'm gonna hurt myself. I'm gonna hurt myself. I might.
Andrew Santino
You two are bad friends.
Bobby Lee
Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something? We're bad friends.
Andrew Santino
Apparently. You guys were talking a lot of when I wasn't here. That's what I heard.
Bobby Lee
You don't know yourself.
Andrew Santino
I heard you guys talking a lot of. Well, I wasn't here. Not even here to defend myself. You guys are talking. It's interesting, huh? Because when people talk behind your back to me, I always defend you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I say, he's not here to defend himself. Don't say that stuff about him.
Bobby Lee
It's so funny because when I look in the mirror, I. I look at my characteristic defects as well. So I know what my problems are, you know. You don't know what your problems are.
Andrew Santino
I know what your problems are, for sure. I know what yours are. But whenever people talk about you and I hear it and I catch wind of it, I grab it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I know where you store it in your heart.
Andrew Santino
And I said, you talk about my dog, dude? And they go, oh, so sorry, man. And I defend.
Bobby Lee
I. I never talked about your dog. I mean, your wife. I don't know. I'm kidding. That's crazy.
Andrew Santino
Is that your bit?
Bobby Lee
That was crazy. That was crazy.
Andrew Santino
Is that your bit?
Bobby Lee
I'm sorry. I got defensive.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And I apologize.
Andrew Santino
It's okay.
Bobby Lee
She's beautiful and I love her as a human.
Andrew Santino
Well, it's whatever you want to do today, man. I heard that you had so much fun without me, you don't want me on the show anymore.
Bobby Lee
Are you reminded?
Andrew Santino
That's what I heard.
Bobby Lee
I turned down a pod with some so and so. He got mad, by the way. Why he came up to me. The first thing out of his mind is like, hey, buddy, you don't want to pod with me. And I go, oh, no. What? Andrew's not there. It's weird, you know? I mean, didn't you do one with Stefano Call. I know, but it's like I've never. We don't have that kind of. And he was mad. Yeah, but I love him.
Andrew Santino
It doesn't seem like. It seemed like you would have done the pod with him if you loved him so much.
Bobby Lee
You know, most people, they'll go to the Salvation army, right, to get their T shirts. Not this guy. Kiss.
Andrew Santino
You don't know what kith is, man.
Bobby Lee
I've been into kith. Yeah, I've been to kith with you in New York.
Andrew Santino
Oh, right. I did. I brought you along. That's right.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Well, I want to see.
Andrew Santino
You're coming at me today.
Bobby Lee
No, I'm not coming at you, dude. You're coming at yourself.
Andrew Santino
My KITH shirt.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you're coming at yourself, dude. And that's the sad part.
Andrew Santino
How am I coming at myself?
Bobby Lee
You were like. Well, you guys were talking about me.
Andrew Santino
No, no, I heard the grapevine. You guys now. Yeah, we can bring up the clips. We have them, dude, bring them up. Oh, the chair.
Bobby Lee
Why do you have that?
Andrew Santino
That's Andrew seat.
Bobby Lee
Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, it sucks. Oh, oh, push pause. No, no, no. I already know that. What I wanted to say after that.
Andrew Santino
I hope so. You just did the episode.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You did a bit about. I do. Did a bit about your little back.
Andrew Santino
Let me see.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What Andrew likes. Yeah. Anyway, you click, click, click.
Andrew Santino
Opens up his butt.
Bobby Lee
Okay, I know he has back. He has backaches. Oh, my God, his spinal disc. What a gay little boy. He's a gay disc. He has a little gay discs in his back. He's a gay. They're dismantled. What a crybaby, huh?
Andrew Santino
Interesting, Interesting. Yeah, keep going.
Bobby Lee
Toilet. Remember cry baby? How do you hit his head on the toilet? He got all woozy like.
Dan Soder
Woo.
Bobby Lee
I'm redheaded. I get wy. Wow, wow, wow. This is so good. Wait, what's my.
Andrew Santino
Interesting.
Bobby Lee
Interesting. It's interesting, but also clever. Interesting, Interesting, interesting, interesting.
Andrew Santino
That was funny. I mean, it didn't make me laugh at all, but it was very funny.
Bobby Lee
All right, let's. All right, let's get it out. Let's get it out in the open.
Andrew Santino
I just said it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. So what I want to say is you've never talked about. About me.
Andrew Santino
Never. Do you have. Is it. First of all, no. And if I did, is it on tape?
Bobby Lee
No, but I've heard people say that you talk about me.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. What do I say?
Bobby Lee
I Don't remember. Really recall.
Andrew Santino
I feel like you'd remember.
Bobby Lee
I think you're right. I think.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Oh, my bad. I got caught in a lie.
Andrew Santino
Oh, that's okay.
Bobby Lee
I don't know what was with me that day, but you're grooving. I went. No, I wasn't grooving. I was out of bounds, out of pocket. And, you know, because you're such a big star. Yeah, right. I love when Carlos laughs at me because, you know, he gets my comedy.
Andrew Santino
Somebody gets your comedy.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God. All right, here we go. Okay, Here we go. Yeah, let's not do this right now, dude. You know, I. I want to say to you this.
Andrew Santino
Because I heard you. I want to say absolutely destroyed in Phoenix.
Bobby Lee
Shut up, dude.
Andrew Santino
Just.
Bobby Lee
All right, now let me say that roof off. I have to say, for Saturday night's second show was one of my best performances.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Bobby Lee
But I also want to say this. Okay. That you have no idea how I feel about you.
Andrew Santino
Okay, dude, let's move on.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no. Oh. When it's positive, you want to move on.
Andrew Santino
I'm over.
Bobby Lee
Let's get. No, I'm not over it. All right. I love you like your family, and with my family, you kind of do little dig digs right on the side. Yeah, yeah. Like, you don't visit when you go to their town.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. That was a big point of contention. Two things. One, Yeah. I did say to Carlos. I made him do Simon says before the show because I think he was stoned. And I asked him, and he's trying to tell me he's not, but I looked into his eyes. You look into his eyes?
Bobby Lee
I wear contact. No, he's Carlos. It'd be. It would be better if you were honest. I didn't smoke weed today. I smoked last night.
Andrew Santino
Last night.
Bobby Lee
Weed. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So now we know. Now you're fully gone. Relapse. That's called California sober.
Andrew Santino
No, that's not a real.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you can call it, but people say that all over the Internet.
Andrew Santino
But it's not real. That's like a fake.
Bobby Lee
I do meth, but I have. I'm Colorado sober.
Andrew Santino
It's Colorado sober.
Bobby Lee
It's the same thing. It doesn't make any sense. No, this is like, one in the lexicon. It was in White Lotus, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
But it doesn't mean you should do it. I thought you were clean. Clean, clean. I thought we were all out when.
Bobby Lee
I saw him in the alleyway in Australia.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
He had a glaze over his Eyes. I don't know what he was on.
Andrew Santino
What were you on in Australia? In the alley?
Dan Soder
Marijuana.
Andrew Santino
That's it.
Bobby Lee
And you lied to me.
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
You lied to me. You know what I did? You lied to me. No, I got you on a technicality. I went into the hotel and I said, bobby, I'm not drinking.
Andrew Santino
Why? What do you mean?
Bobby Lee
Because I need something on this earth.
Andrew Santino
Bobby doesn't need anything.
Bobby Lee
He should have something though.
Andrew Santino
No, he has lots of things.
Bobby Lee
I do agree. I should have something.
Andrew Santino
You have sugar free Red Bull and cigarettes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but sometimes I want more to drown my sorrows.
Andrew Santino
What do you want?
Bobby Lee
I mean, sometimes I would love to smoke weed. You know what I mean? To zone out.
Andrew Santino
But you don't need to.
Bobby Lee
I don't need to. And I've been three years. I haven't.
Andrew Santino
So that's great.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Why, why would we crack it now?
Bobby Lee
Because my fear though is, is that once that door is open, I do all the other stuff and I can' have that. So I just decided to do all. I mean.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Because what he's saying also can happen to you. You may decide. So what, dude? I'm. I'm going to be San Bernardino sober and just have one pill.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. You do pills too?
Andrew Santino
You do do pills.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that's so such a project projection to me. I prom only Xanax and Lex Pro, which.
Andrew Santino
Those are pills.
Bobby Lee
Those are called pills, dude. But you get them at Walgreens.
Andrew Santino
I know, but they can prescribe any.
Bobby Lee
I do math. But I only smoke it.
Andrew Santino
Right?
Bobby Lee
That's what it sounds like.
Andrew Santino
That's what.
Bobby Lee
It's not cartel stuff, so it's good.
Andrew Santino
All right, well whatever. I. I'm just looking out for your well being.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I'd rather you be clean as a whistle. Clear headed.
Bobby Lee
I know, but I'm just. I'm gonna sober Carlos. My history with Carlos is this. When I first met him, he was full, full blown in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Andrew Santino
It was great.
Bobby Lee
And anyone that's in aa, right, people aren't because they had like, you know, I mean, an accident. It takes a lot of pain and suffering to drive you into a 12 step group.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And to be committed to it. Right. So that's, you know your history with it, right? You know that you're an alcoholic and drug addict. Do you? Yeah. Okay, you have other addictions too, like sex labs too.
Andrew Santino
That's. That's not a pointing. It's not a. It's not appointing.
Bobby Lee
I'm not arguing with you. This is like a tit for Tat. Bobby's being like, oh, I missed her sober, and I know everything.
Dan Soder
And.
Bobby Lee
But he's also really.
Andrew Santino
That's not true. He's not being. I know everything. Mr. Sober. He's just saying to. To get back on the right track and stay clean.
Bobby Lee
Have I done any drugs or alcohol since I got sober three years ago? No, but you've literally done them with me.
Andrew Santino
Okay, but this.
Bobby Lee
Okay, you see what he's doing? That's the drug addiction. Jedi.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you are Jedi.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You're angling.
Bobby Lee
You're angling. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You're trapping and angling. You're leading into a corner. You're trapped.
Bobby Lee
You're a rat trapped.
Andrew Santino
You're a rat trap.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you're a rat trap. Like, rats should get in trouble for, like, having a little bit of che Cheese.
Andrew Santino
A rat as fat as you doesn't need any more cheese.
Bobby Lee
Exactly. Anyway, let's move on.
Andrew Santino
Let's move on.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But had a great time in the city of Minnesota.
Bobby Lee
So Andrew did his special. He did four shows I did to cut it together. It's gonna be a wonderful piece of artwork.
Andrew Santino
Well, I hope so. It was a really. It was a little bit of a challenge at the beginning, finding everything the way that I wanted to find it. And also, boy, oh, boy, was I upset at my team. Shane Gillis was in town. Kevin Hart was in town. I was like, what the.
Bobby Lee
Oh, I saw a photo with you.
Andrew Santino
And Shane Gilly played the Target center, where the Minnesota Timberwolves play. And Kevin played a big theater. Like, he did, like, four. The five theaters or something, all in Minneapolis that weekend.
Bobby Lee
But did you. Were your shows full?
Andrew Santino
No. Yeah, they sold out. But I'm.
Bobby Lee
What is. What's the problem?
Andrew Santino
No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, thank God Shane sells out same day. Because imagine if Shane was playing big theaters and he wasn't an act that could sell out an arena same day, then we would. We definitely share some audience. You know what I mean?
Bobby Lee
Like, right, right.
Andrew Santino
Kevin and I, definitely. No crossover. We joked. We were like, kevin was. Shane goes. I guess you and I had to split all the whites in town. I was like, yeah, Kevin, there's no confidence.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But I mean, thank God Shane's so famous. He sold out the Target center the same day.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Andrew Santino
That's how famous he is. Like, we. I'm lucky we got around to it, but I think it's a bummer because ticket prices are so stupid now, and we can't control them anymore. It sucks. The promoters Ticketmaster, the venues. It's disgusting what they do now. And people can't go to both. People couldn't see me on Friday and see Shane on Saturday. There's no way they could afford that. I think it fucking sucks. So I wish. I wish they communicated to go, hey, this guy's in town shooting. Can we reserve this, you know, this weekend if we could skip it or come back to it.
Bobby Lee
You're complaining about something that didn't happen, though.
Andrew Santino
No, no. I do think it affected the way that I moved at the end. Moved tickets at the end.
Bobby Lee
Oh, I see.
Andrew Santino
Do you know what I mean? Like, it definitely changed people because people.
Bobby Lee
The first time I played the Philadelphia Helium.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I love that club.
Bobby Lee
I showed up at the club. I'm not kidding. It's not an exaggeration. I showed up at the first show on a Friday night. There was seven people.
Andrew Santino
Oh, my God.
Bobby Lee
Right? And I kind of looked around. I go, oh, I guess it's. I'm not big here, right? They're like, oh, no. It's just literally right across the street. Chappelle's there. And I go, oh, I got booked, right? And then the second show was full and. And half the audience was like, oh, we saw the Chappelle show earlier and we came to both.
Andrew Santino
That's pretty rad.
Bobby Lee
Still the first show, I was going to kill myself. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
When you can't.
Bobby Lee
I mean, I understand what you're saying.
Andrew Santino
Well, when you're fighting. When you're fighting upstream because people can't see both. And he takes a lot. I mean, he's so famous. Shane's the best. He's the biggest. So it's, you know. Yeah, you can't fight that. But anyway, it was a good weekend in Minneapolis. I love. I love Minneapolis. Although I was scared to come home once again because of the flights, bro.
Bobby Lee
I had turbulence last night, but it's.
Andrew Santino
Getting out of control.
Bobby Lee
It is today. How many today? Another cash.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no, dude. A Southwest plane almost hit a private jet today. Today. Today.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God, It.
Andrew Santino
Look at this. Near miss. It's landing or taken off. It's landing. And is that it?
Bobby Lee
The jets, right?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, the jets right there. Look at that. It's landing and the jet is coming. And so he took off again.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God. Is it the. What do we call the people of the tower?
Andrew Santino
The fa. Well, no, the control tower. Yeah, the control tower.
Bobby Lee
Control tower, people.
Andrew Santino
Central tower, people.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Is it their fault? What is going on here?
Andrew Santino
I don't know, man. Something's going on though. Like, do you not believe that could.
Bobby Lee
Have been a disaster, Dude.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Everybody dead.
Bobby Lee
Everyone dead.
Andrew Santino
How is this not.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Do we work.
Andrew Santino
Something's going on. Can we make up a conspiracy, please? Did they fire all of the faa?
Bobby Lee
Okay, I have a conspiracy.
Andrew Santino
Is that real?
Bobby Lee
I have a conspiracy and I think it's connected. So hear me out. Guys. I heard your joke and I'm sorry. That didn't laugh.
Andrew Santino
It's okay.
Bobby Lee
I didn't like it. Just please. Okay. Your resentment right now is so evident. So it's like you're gaslighting me. You're trying to get me.
Andrew Santino
Look, we know you're not high now, Andrew.
Bobby Lee
Was that gaslighting?
Andrew Santino
No, there was no lighting. There.
Bobby Lee
There. There was. Thank you. There was no lighting from Andrew. My mistake. I. I thought I saw a little light. Yeah, there's no light. And if you saw when it was dim.
Andrew Santino
Sodi.
Dan Soder
Sodi.
Bobby Lee
Sit down, you dum dummy.
Andrew Santino
No, you're not a dumb, dumb dude.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, he's one of the dumbest dude. He's one of the dumbest on earth.
Andrew Santino
You really think that? Yeah, he's one of the smartest dudes in. Com.
Dan Soder
No, no, you're right.
Bobby Lee
Let me finish this point and then we'll get to you.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Dan Soder. Love you.
Dan Soder
I love you too.
Bobby Lee
The last time we did a gig together, you weren't that nice to me.
Dan Soder
Bullshit. That is 100%.
Bobby Lee
But we're just no real this.
Dan Soder
Well, yeah, cuz it was two gigs. We hung out.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
Where was it on the Burt tour?
Bobby Lee
On the Pert tour.
Dan Soder
So it's chaos. You're just in the middle.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but he. You know, I try to start conversations. There's no dick locking.
Dan Soder
No, no, no.
Bobby Lee
I want to dick lock.
Dan Soder
First off, I'll dock with you all day. He will go get foreskin put on my penis in order to dock. Wow.
Bobby Lee
You know what? I believe you.
Dan Soder
Whatever the reverse.
Bobby Lee
Let me finish my theory here, Dan, and we'll get to you.
Dan Soder
Okay.
Bobby Lee
All right. Anyway, this is good.
Andrew Santino
You're going to want to hear this.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So I think the reason why there's a connection between the flights, you know, men getting in these accidents, all the flight crash and the drones that we saw a month ago.
Andrew Santino
Oh, the. The Chinese drones.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Wasn't there a lot of drones a couple of months ago?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
Around. Right.
Andrew Santino
New Jersey.
Bobby Lee
New Jersey. It was. It was in California as well. It was everywhere.
Andrew Santino
Really?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. There. Could there be a link there, you think?
Andrew Santino
Something in Alien airspace. Something UFO airspace? What, what, what? What could it be?
Dan Soder
Are you thinking like the drones are causing the accidents?
Bobby Lee
Maybe there's a connection is all I'm saying.
Dan Soder
I like that you're saying it like a CIA guy. Where you go, there could be a connection. Yeah, I'm not saying affirmative. I'm not saying negative.
Bobby Lee
Do you ever see Zero Dark Thirty, brother?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Have you seen Zero Dark? Yeah, I haven't. You haven't?
Dan Soder
No.
Bobby Lee
There's another documentary called Manhunt.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Okay, well, guess who caught who did they track? Let me ask you. Who do they track to get to Osama bin Laden? Exactly. Right.
Andrew Santino
The courier, the mail delivery guy.
Bobby Lee
No, he used one guy for information. So there was one guy they would drive to his.
Andrew Santino
Abu Ahmed al Kuwait.
Bobby Lee
Abu. Ah, right, that dude, right?
Andrew Santino
Is that Amir?
Bobby Lee
K. It is Amir. You know what I mean? And now he's doing stand up and he's very successful. You know what I mean?
Dan Soder
What a second act.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, right, right, right.
Dan Soder
Just being a hilarious stand up comic.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
You know, he's the courier for Osama bin Laden.
Bobby Lee
In a movie, I would cast Michael pena.
Andrew Santino
I think 100% looks like Michael.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Yes. And not Amir. Okay.
Andrew Santino
No, it'd be Michael Pena.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I think there. So in the. One lady in the CIA was like, we. I think we should track the courier. And everyone was like, no, no, no, no, no. Right. But that ended up being the truth.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And she didn't even really know what the connection was, but she followed a gun instinct. I think that's what I'm doing with the fucking drones.
Andrew Santino
So your instinct is that the drones are making the planes crash?
Bobby Lee
I don't know exactly the connection between them, but there's a gut instinct there.
Dan Soder
You just feel like it is. I feel like, yeah.
Bobby Lee
I feel like it is.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
What's your theory, Sodor?
Dan Soder
I don't know. These plane crashes are crazy. How many are happening? There was also an avoided one. Did you guys see the one?
Andrew Santino
We just talked.
Bobby Lee
We just talked about that. Just now that I have.
Dan Soder
Whenever something like this happens, I immediately empathize with the other plane. Just like remember when the bridge in Baltimore, the boat drove into the bridge. Dude, just this moment of like.
Bobby Lee
I don't. I don't know anything about it. Please explain to me that catastrophe.
Dan Soder
There was a boat that like, it was like one of those short stack boats. Almost like. You can bring it up.
Bobby Lee
I want. I want the clinical version of the boat because I don't get shorts.
Dan Soder
I don't even know what that means. I made that up.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah. See, it's like a ferry, a freight, a freighter boat.
Dan Soder
Freighter boat ran into a bridge.
Bobby Lee
Dark Knight, they had those in the Dark Knight.
Andrew Santino
A dark night boat.
Bobby Lee
I call it a dark night boat.
Dan Soder
In the biz, we call it a dark.
Bobby Lee
Because remember the. In the Dark, the first Batman movie? Wasn't there like a thing where he first goes, I'm Batman? Which is a dead on impression.
Dan Soder
Yeah, it was perfect.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I think really good. Christian Bale was.
Andrew Santino
These are called container ships.
Bobby Lee
Container ship.
Dan Soder
But doesn't that sound more made up than short stack container? I know it sounds like mine was completely made up.
Andrew Santino
Short stack sounds great. That's a short stack.
Bobby Lee
I call Brad Williams short stack. Right. So that's my nickname for him. But my point is, is that. So what happened here?
Dan Soder
So this. This like this boat went into the bridge. You see it at night. It like, shuts the lights off and.
Bobby Lee
It fucks it up with the people on the road.
Dan Soder
I don't know. I don't know if anyone died in that.
Andrew Santino
No, people did die. A few people did die.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, the cars. Yeah, a few people are on. No one on the boat died. And all the containers were safe, by the way.
Dan Soder
But everyone likes to go like, oh, terrorists, this was a terrorist attack or whatever. But just like the small jet that almost got hit this time. Just like a guy being an idiot, fucking being like, fuck, fuck, fuck, dude. Is that. Is that fucking plane about to take off? It's like coming down and you're like a. And someone's just yelling your name in your ear, going like, bobby, Bobby, I.
Bobby Lee
I've said that when I was entering a woman's vagina.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that's a. Yeah, no, but no.
Bobby Lee
In a panic like that. Like, I shouldn't be doing it. Oh, right. You know. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And then somebody dies.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Have you ever had sex with somebody you didn't want to have sex with?
Dan Soder
I don't know how to answer that. You mean, like, just like I, like I wasn't physically attracted to or that.
Bobby Lee
No, but you just knew that they were a little cray cray. You know, sometime, brother, you're like, what's gonna happen once I enter this?
Dan Soder
That's my early 20s, brother.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, man.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Soder
I don't know if you've ever been to Tucson, Arizona.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, brother, bro. Tell me about it, bro.
Dan Soder
I was living it.
Andrew Santino
Did you have any. Did you have any double xl? Do you ever go down that road? Anybody heavy?
Dan Soder
Yeah, I like a Larger lady.
Andrew Santino
I mean, double xl.
Dan Soder
Oh, no. Like vastly outweighing.
Bobby Lee
So. Yeah. So I have a way. And I'm not lying. I had sex with one time, many, many years ago with a 400 pound woman.
Dan Soder
That is, that's not. I don't think that's physically possible.
Bobby Lee
It happened in Phoenix, 20 years ago.
Dan Soder
Did they have to lower.
Bobby Lee
Your brother hooked it up.
Dan Soder
Did they have to lower you down into her?
Andrew Santino
I don't know if it's a hookup.
Bobby Lee
Well, yeah, it's a hook down.
Andrew Santino
Hook down.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Dan Soder
But she goes, it was like a medical procedure.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I'm gonna lay on my back, then you're gonna enter me.
Bobby Lee
And I. I did it though, like a soldier.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. You went through with it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Because sometimes, you know your nom, Right. You're in Hamburger Hill.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. You really get it right going through it.
Bobby Lee
Right. And your sergeant goes, we gotta take over this hill.
Andrew Santino
And you're up first.
Bobby Lee
And you. Yeah. And you don't want to, but you end up up there anyway. And you get friends slaughtered and whatnot. Are you still fighting for your life?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Black Hawk Down. Black Hawk Down.
Andrew Santino
Say it's so Asian. Black Hawk Down.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Black Caught Down.
Bobby Lee
You know, I recently saw the Netflix documentary on it.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And I rewatched the movie.
Dan Soder
Are you getting like third hand PTSD from these movies?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
You're coming back.
Bobby Lee
So anyway. Oh, yeah. So that's what I did with this lady.
Dan Soder
How was it?
Andrew Santino
400, pretty big.
Dan Soder
I mean, you did have sex with a waterbed.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Well, at that. See, the thing is, at that time, this is pre mad tv.
Andrew Santino
Oh, before you got on.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So before I got on.
Dan Soder
Let me tell you, she liked you.
Andrew Santino
For who you really were.
Dan Soder
Through.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Well, she saw me MC the Improv in Tempe.
Dan Soder
She's eating a bucket of chicken, a nice Saturday night special, and a bad TV comes on. And she goes, yeah, my little lover. My little.
Andrew Santino
I used to fuck that.
Dan Soder
My little spelunker.
Bobby Lee
But here's the sad part of the story. And I feel so bad about it. I think about it all the time. And I feel so bad about it. Nick, nicotine pouches.
Andrew Santino
You heard us talking about Nick before, Right Here, baby. Take taking nicotine pouches. The next level. These are the pouches that we be using over here. At bad.
Bobby Lee
We be using all day, every day.
Andrew Santino
They got citrus, iceberry, lemon ice, spearmint and winter, Winter green.
Bobby Lee
They do have wintergreen. They also have strawberry, watermelon, ice, baby.
Andrew Santino
It's a step above any other pouch because they use the best ingredients for a cleaner, more refined experience. And we're refined.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, we are. And if you're on a journey to quit, Nicotine Nicked gives you full control of your experience. They're even launching a new zero milligram option soon, helping you gradually reduce your nicotine uses at your pace.
Andrew Santino
That's pretty great. If you're trying to kick chewing tobacco, traditional smoking products, or vapes, nicked flavors hit just right. Okay, some of these pouches that we've got here right in front of you, very, very good crisp mint. By the way, the tropical ice is probably the most favorite. Everyone wants to grab one of those when they come through the studio. So it's time to upgrade to nicked nicotine pouches, just like we did right now.
Bobby Lee
Our listens get 35% off when you order our exclusive URL nickedpouches.com badfriend that's.
Andrew Santino
N y k d pouches.com badfriends and you can use this code up to three times. Don't wait. Get 35% off now at nykdpouches.com badfriends and check out the Bad Friends bundle with our favorite flavors.
Bobby Lee
That's nicked pouches.com bad friends Nick Pouches.
Andrew Santino
Are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine nicotine as an addictive chemical. DraftKings sportsbook hey, when it comes to college basketball and March mania, one thing is for sure. Nothing is for sure. That's right. Upsets, buzzer beaters. Cinderella's advancing, going to the dance, top seeds going home early. It's all going to happen. You're going to see it. We've already seen some top teams get knocked off in the last couple of nights. Some upsets. It's been tough and rough for some of us. You can bet on the unexpected. That's for sure. Every day. You can do this with DraftKings sportsbook. With live betting, exclusive content, promos and parlays, DraftKings is the ultimate college basketball destination for March 1st time. Here's something special just for you. New DraftKings customers. Bet five bucks. You can bet just five bucks to get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Come on, friends. Look, my old man with the University of Tennessee. They are humming along this year. I got a couple of shekels on University of Tennessee. I'm not saying you should do that. I'm saying that's what I'm doing. Not telling you how to bet. Just telling you where I'll be putting my bets. Bet the unexpected with DraftKings Sportsbook. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use Code Bad Friends. That's Code Bad Friends for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets. When you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings, the crown is yours. Gambling Problem Call 1-800-Gambler In New York, call 877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY 467-369 In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boudill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void. In Ontario, new customers only. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms Responsible Gaming resources, see DKNG co Audio.
Bobby Lee
Are your ulcerative colitis symptoms proving difficult to manage? Tremphya Guselkumab can help you manage the cycle of UC symptoms.
Andrew Santino
At one year, many patients taking Tremphya.
Bobby Lee
Achieved clinical remission and some patients also achieved endoscopic remission. Individual results may vary. Tremphya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb.
Dan Soder
Tell your doctor if you have an.
Bobby Lee
Infection, flu like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. Ask your doctor if Tremphaya can help.
Andrew Santino
You manage the cycle of UC symptoms.
Bobby Lee
Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit tremphiradio.com and I've never shared it on group level. I don't even know if I should go on, but I'm going to do it anyway. So years later when I was kind, I got on Matt this and that. I redid the room, I think as I was featuring for someone big, you know what I mean? And I don't know why, but I was walking. You know when they bring you up, I was walking toward the stage. Somebody grabbed my jacket or my shirt, long shoes, shirt. And I look over and it's her. No, I just see this fat hand on my.
Dan Soder
How strong was that grip? How strong was that grip? It was like a gorilla grabbed you.
Bobby Lee
Or walrus, where you go flipper. It was a walrus. Flipper.
Dan Soder
You know when animal trainers realize that it's out of control. Yeah, dude, like Bobby gave one of those where he goes give it back. Okay, okay, we're not playing anymore.
Andrew Santino
Kiko, stop. Kiko, stop.
Bobby Lee
No, it was more like a leper grabbing you. Back in the day, you were like, I did this. I went. I pulled it away like that.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And then after my set, I ran down out so she couldn't grab me.
Dan Soder
Damn.
Bobby Lee
And I stayed in the green room so I wouldn't run into. I feel so bad about it.
Andrew Santino
She was clawing at the door.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You hear it? Like a dog on a. Smelling you under the door.
Bobby Lee
What's your fat as you think?
Dan Soder
Oh, Jesus. I don't know. You know, I'm over 200, so I would imagine probably over that.
Andrew Santino
What do you.
Dan Soder
What do you hover at to walk around at 215?
Andrew Santino
Do you really?
Dan Soder
I would like to be 210.
Andrew Santino
What are you, 6, 3?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that's good.
Dan Soder
Yeah. But nothing extreme.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You've never. Have you ever been, like, embarrassed when you step on the scale? Have you ever been like, Jesus Dan?
Dan Soder
Yeah, what was it?
Andrew Santino
What was The Jesus Dan?
Dan Soder
2:40.
Bobby Lee
Whoa.
Dan Soder
And it was just like, after a breakup and it was just sweet season. I just quit drinking.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I quit drinking like a couple years before. And then he was just, like, eating everything.
Andrew Santino
Sweet seasons. Do you never had a sweet season when you quit doing drugs and alcohol? You're not really a sweets guy. You like. What is it? Savory over sweet, right?
Bobby Lee
That's interesting that you say that, because you're absolutely wrong.
Dan Soder
Really?
Andrew Santino
I don't know. You'd eat a lot of sweets.
Bobby Lee
Whenever we get to, I hide it. You do?
Dan Soder
Secret sweetie pie.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I do. I have a drawer in my bedroom with gummy colas.
Dan Soder
Great, right?
Andrew Santino
I've never seen you be a sweets boy.
Bobby Lee
And then I have bags of these, like, candies with, like, salt in. In it. In the middle of it.
Dan Soder
Oh, so it's sweet and savory.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah, right. You know what?
Dan Soder
You're a little. You're. You're candy.
Bobby Lee
The Mexican. Like when they use the mango and they put that stuff up. What's it called?
Andrew Santino
What are you talking about?
Dan Soder
Baby Bobby's. Oh.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you're talking about.
Bobby Lee
Yes. Yeah. There's a tain in the middle.
Dan Soder
Yeah. So it's got a little spice.
Andrew Santino
A little bit of spice.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know, it's funny, dude, because whenever we go eat, you, you like the savory stuff. And then when we get dessert, you'll take a bite. But. But you're not, like, a reason why.
Bobby Lee
I take a bite. I have bites at home.
Dan Soder
Yeah, you do.
Bobby Lee
In the hotel room.
Dan Soder
You're goddamn right.
Bobby Lee
How do you fucking know?
Andrew Santino
Are you a secret?
Dan Soder
Sweetie, I'm. I'm out in the open with it. Yeah, brother. I live it. It's Easter season, so I'm in. I'm in knee deep in the shit. They're doing jelly beans. I just picked up two bags of jelly beans. Didn't even mean to.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Dan Soder
Because you got Jolly Rancher. It's Easter season, so everyone's doing their, like their jelly bean. I got Jolly Rancher and airhead jelly beans.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Andrew Santino
I'm a savory guy, dude. Late night. I want.
Bobby Lee
I know that about.
Andrew Santino
I want a food. Food.
Dan Soder
Yeah. Because you drink, you're getting all your sugar through the booze. When you cut it, that's when you want.
Bobby Lee
That's what it is.
Dan Soder
Yeah. I didn't give it. I didn't give a shit about sweets when I drank.
Andrew Santino
I mean, I still like having a little bit of sweet tooth thing. When we gotta go out to eat. I always have a little bit of dessert.
Dan Soder
Took down a mini bag of Cadbury eggs.
Andrew Santino
Bad boy, dude.
Dan Soder
Just fucking landed. And thought, why not?
Bobby Lee
I want to say something to you. I've always thought this and I don't want to be rude.
Dan Soder
Oh, man.
Bobby Lee
Erica and I want to cause any friction.
Dan Soder
I think it's going to do both.
Bobby Lee
No, I don't think so.
Dan Soder
Okay.
Bobby Lee
I think I'm being very mindful about it, but it's observation that I've had over the years. I've never been brave enough to tell you, but you're one of those comics, like, if you didn't do comedy, I just don't know.
Dan Soder
Oh, what I do.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. You know what you. I have a prediction what you would have been doing.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I know.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So you know, you go to Soho and they have those boutique shops. It's always some sort of arbitrary, like, name, like F, Z, Z, N Y. I love fcz.
Dan Soder
Yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
Let's go into the Zazani or whatever. Right? And then you go in there and there's like this guy. He looks like a John Wick villain. He's got a black overcoat. Oh, yeah, right. And just like tattoos on the neck.
Andrew Santino
Eyeliner.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
A lot of jewelry.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't know how much they make. Probably not good.
Andrew Santino
Who cares?
Bobby Lee
Who cares? That's what you'd be doing.
Dan Soder
I can't think of something that is more opposite of who I am as a human being.
Bobby Lee
No, I'm saying you are like it.
Dan Soder
I've never seen just an insane miss like that. That is. You have, you know, you have zero working knowledge of me as a human being.
Andrew Santino
I know.
Dan Soder
If you think I'm anywhere close. I have dressed the same, like I'm moving, since I was 12 years old.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I understand.
Dan Soder
I don't understand what I'm saying to you.
Andrew Santino
Dan, he's a labor bitch.
Dan Soder
I would never wear rings. I can't wear a watch.
Andrew Santino
No, he's a laborator.
Dan Soder
I have a thin wrist.
Bobby Lee
This is information I was not privy to.
Dan Soder
Well, guess what, brother? Before you diagnose, take a look at the X ray, because I'm sitting right here.
Bobby Lee
I'm a kind of doctor where. I don't look at that.
Dan Soder
You come in, you go, I'm a diagnoser. You go, it's cancer. And they go, is it? And you go, could be, though.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Dan Soder
It could be all like, this could be.
Andrew Santino
Dr. Lee, this is a dentist's office. He's got stomach cancer. I can tell.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Sorry.
Andrew Santino
Soda, I think, would be.
Bobby Lee
Thank you. Here we go.
Andrew Santino
You'd be a laborer of some kind. I could see you.
Dan Soder
I would be getting in trouble for being funny, Correct.
Andrew Santino
On a site. On a job site somewhere where I'd.
Dan Soder
Have to be somewhat serious. I would be getting in trouble for.
Andrew Santino
I could see you getting tied up with Ringling Brothers and you assembling part of the tents and also announcing stuff.
Dan Soder
I. Honestly, that's way close. You put me on the mic for the fucking Flying Giuseppe's or whoever.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Whoever's in sequins doing flips in the air. And I get to build a tent.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. He killed it.
Dan Soder
And then I make a mistake, and then a couple families, and then it's.
Andrew Santino
Back to the railroads.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know, you're. You're. You're. But you know him.
Dan Soder
I got my four roses, you know, My little flask of whiskey in my traveling jacket.
Bobby Lee
Dude, I have another observation. I'm so sorry.
Dan Soder
He goes, you and your dad are best.
Bobby Lee
That was very good. That's very good, what you said.
Andrew Santino
I just. I know.
Bobby Lee
So he also seems like this guy, right? Well, you meet a girl.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
A beautiful girl, right?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And you go, hey, you want to go on that? She goes, I have a boyfriend. Right. And then when you actually meet, it's like, him.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And I'm like, what the fuck are you dating this guy for?
Dan Soder
That's okay.
Bobby Lee
Am I right?
Dan Soder
Warm?
Bobby Lee
Am I getting warm?
Dan Soder
Yeah, very warm.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I understand it now.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I know you have a girlfriend, a wife.
Dan Soder
I have a Fiance.
Bobby Lee
Fiance. Yeah, I understand it now. Like, I understand Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis with his girl.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
The influencer lady.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Would have never made sense in any other scenario.
Dan Soder
Besides. What?
Bobby Lee
Besides famous comic influencer?
Dan Soder
I don't think so.
Andrew Santino
You don't know.
Dan Soder
You underestimate Shane. Yeah, I knew him before. I knew.
Bobby Lee
Oh, so he was deep in hot chicks before.
Dan Soder
Before he got bit by the radioactive spider and he became Shane Mann.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Dan Soder
He. He's. Dude, he's charming. He's low key. He's low key. A cutie pie.
Andrew Santino
You're missing.
Bobby Lee
Everybody needs fame.
Andrew Santino
No, no. Okay, how about this?
Bobby Lee
You're.
Andrew Santino
You're. You're missing a few key points, by the way. You go to the Midwest. You go to the Midwest, you see beautiful women with big guys. Guys.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Like in Canada.
Dan Soder
And I'll tell you right now, I used to go with Shane. Shane used to go on the road with me and feature for me. And when we would go to, like, Boston or something like that, boy would. We were both single. Boy would clean up.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Because the ladies would be like, oh, I want me a pale daddy.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Dan Soder
And he'd be like, shut up, you're gay. And they'd be like, oh, right. I need them freckles.
Bobby Lee
He looks like a white guy that's been in water like a dead corpse.
Andrew Santino
Oh, my God.
Dan Soder
Are you calling him bloated?
Bobby Lee
No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying the eyes bulge like it's been like in a swamp.
Andrew Santino
I gotta tell you something right now.
Bobby Lee
I'm wrong.
Andrew Santino
He's gonna come get you.
Dan Soder
You don't want that.
Andrew Santino
You want to start this war.
Dan Soder
Dude, you are calling on. You're yelling at.
Bobby Lee
A cloud picks me up.
Dan Soder
You're yelling at the little boy.
Bobby Lee
And I like it. And we have that relationship. Right. I'm not. You know, Shane, if you're listening right now or if you get this clip, he will. I'm just. I give you props all day long. You're one of the funniest comics on planet Earth. Right. You're the king.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And you deserve all your success. That's not what I'm saying. But you say you have, like, you know, like, you know, in Lord of the Rings, like, maybe the second or third movie, Right. Remember the Frodo and those guys went to the swamp.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And Gollum's like, don't look in the water.
Andrew Santino
Who's in the water?
Bobby Lee
These dead elves from, like thousands of years ago.
Andrew Santino
Oh, my God.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I mean, that's all I'm saying just.
Dan Soder
Don'T look in the water.
Andrew Santino
Starting a war.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I'm not starting a. Anyway, I didn't mean in a bad way. Let's. Anyway, so.
Dan Soder
Whole store is just crazy.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Whenever I go to those stores, I look at the guy and I go others down. Version of Dan saga.
Andrew Santino
That's what you think.
Dan Soder
Damn.
Bobby Lee
What are you doing? Why can you back me once?
Dan Soder
Because I think you're insanely.
Bobby Lee
I think you're up.
Andrew Santino
You're out of bounds.
Dan Soder
Don't do that.
Bobby Lee
I'm sorry.
Dan Soder
Don't do that. I'm over here saving you for a war.
Bobby Lee
I'm tired of being bullied by people like you.
Dan Soder
I'm saving you from a war.
Bobby Lee
I tried to befriend you at the tour.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
See what he's doing?
Dan Soder
I see it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I'm tired of being bullied by you. After you just went after him and then Shane Gills. You're.
Bobby Lee
Oh, really?
Andrew Santino
You're. You're bullied.
Bobby Lee
You're fascinated.
Andrew Santino
You're 100% bullied.
Bobby Lee
I'm being honest.
Andrew Santino
You're mad that the Soho thing didn't land, and then you bullied Shane Gillis.
Dan Soder
Yeah. You went after my friend.
Andrew Santino
You're the bully, dude.
Bobby Lee
Well, the next time I say a thing, disagree with me.
Dan Soder
Okay, you know what?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's the new rule.
Dan Soder
Let's both be Bobby. I'm down, but yeah. Let's make this cool on all of us.
Bobby Lee
All right.
Dan Soder
Trying to negotiate. We're all gonna be cool.
Andrew Santino
We're gonna be cool.
Dan Soder
We're all gonna be cool. We're gonna make a point. We can.
Bobby Lee
That's right. Thank you.
Andrew Santino
Point we can all agree on. Ready?
Bobby Lee
You think everything you say I agree with. No, I always laugh and I always agree.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Why?
Bobby Lee
That's what friendship is all about. All right. I know your diabolical east coast way of thinking. What?
Andrew Santino
Can I say something? I know.
Bobby Lee
I'm so sorry.
Andrew Santino
Something happened on the Bert tour between you guys that's unresolved.
Dan Soder
No, we have fun.
Bobby Lee
Was it when I hurt my lip?
Dan Soder
You hurt your lip, but you were gone.
Andrew Santino
That's how.
Bobby Lee
But were you there?
Dan Soder
I'm one of the only people that texted you when you called me with Ralph Barbosa, I picked up and I said I was one of the only people that texted you.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
You busted your lip.
Dan Soder
And on the tour bus.
Bobby Lee
On the tour bus. Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Soder
We were on our way to Florida.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And we were in Florida.
Bobby Lee
I feel like you were, like, one of the last people attacks. I Think that's what it was.
Dan Soder
Oh, okay. I would honestly check the receipt.
Bobby Lee
I think now I'm just testing you. You're supposed to agree with me. I thought the rule was I was testing him. He doesn't follow the rules.
Dan Soder
Bobby, look at me. I'm sorry. That was on me.
Bobby Lee
There we go. It's easy as that.
Andrew Santino
Give me something to agree.
Dan Soder
We're back in, right?
Bobby Lee
Dax Flame definitely has a bigger penis than you.
Andrew Santino
Than me.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that.
Bobby Lee
See?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Is it true?
Andrew Santino
No.
Dan Soder
You know what? I don't. I don't care. Because that kind of loyalty.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. That's where it is.
Dan Soder
Fuck the truth. I'd rather have that.
Andrew Santino
There it is.
Bobby Lee
That's. I want you to be loyal.
Dan Soder
Got it.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Dan Soder
Done.
Bobby Lee
And I will agree with everything you say. Say something that I might not agree with, but I'll agree with it.
Dan Soder
Honestly, I think gummy sodas kind of suck.
Bobby Lee
I agree. And whenever I'm eating them, I don't even understand why it's in my mouth. Do you understand how easy that is?
Dan Soder
Yeah. Throw it back to me.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like a.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
No, no.
Dan Soder
Let him go.
Bobby Lee
You look like a fluffer in gay porn.
Dan Soder
Yeah, Absolutely. Strong jaw, looking like I'm just getting big gay rods. Called a stiff.
Bobby Lee
It's called. Right. Adding information and agreeing in Esrov.
Dan Soder
Yes.
Andrew Santino
And now do one back to him.
Dan Soder
I'm just gonna say it right now. It shouldn't be illegal to eat a homeless person's ass.
Bobby Lee
It should not be.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I went for a nighttime walk. I go for a nighttime walk a lot. And I go for a nighttime walk in the same little stretch of area by my neighborhood. And this homeless guy must have heard me, like, talking on the phone, and he yelled out, I live here. And I felt bad. I was like, sorry.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So I said, sorry.
Dan Soder
Where does he stay? Like, there's.
Andrew Santino
So, like, by the LA River. There's, like, a walking path and people. There's, like, tents that are up underneath, tucked under. You can't see them.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And. But he's right. He does live there. I was talking loud.
Bobby Lee
He does live there.
Dan Soder
The thought of.
Andrew Santino
And I apologized.
Dan Soder
The thought of him in makeshift reading glasses reading the back of a label and him going, will you shut the fuck up? Yeah, I'm reading.
Andrew Santino
He's mixing chemicals.
Dan Soder
I live here. I'm trying to make a new form of hooch.
Bobby Lee
He's reading Dostoevsky.
Dan Soder
He's like, anyway, it was Coldikov. Really didn't have to murder that he.
Andrew Santino
Did call the cops and get him removed.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Gotta clean up the streets.
Dan Soder
Nice.
Andrew Santino
Can't put up with that, dude.
Bobby Lee
Now, how do you feel about the homeless? How do I feel about genuine European?
Andrew Santino
Well, he doesn't see them now in New York. They're all hibernating.
Dan Soder
Yeah. They're all in the. They're all in the tunnel.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Where do they go in the tunnels?
Dan Soder
Honestly, you don't know? It's just like. It's like a crisp. It's like a crisp fall day and then they're just. Where are they? And then it gets hot and then you're like, oh, I can't walk my.
Bobby Lee
Maybe they're frozen and they thaw.
Dan Soder
That might be. You go. Seasons are changing. They're start.
Bobby Lee
Help me. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Reanimate.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And then now it's March.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Do the position. Yeah, March. Yeah, exactly. I live here. Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Soder
You just did the dethawing of a homeless man. Perfect.
Bobby Lee
And that's Comedy 101. That's called a call.
Dan Soder
And that's what we do here.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And that's how talented he is, by the way.
Andrew Santino
That's. That's this Encino Man. We just did the movie and.
Bobby Lee
Don't, don't, don't. Please don't do that.
Dan Soder
Everything's fitted for a reboot right now.
Bobby Lee
Thank you.
Dan Soder
Honestly.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Tell me Bobby Lee and the Brendan Fraser role. You would be.
Andrew Santino
You great Encino Man.
Dan Soder
You as the new weasel.
Bobby Lee
Oh, let's go this. Okay. Let's talk about what they should remake.
Dan Soder
Yeah. Okay.
Bobby Lee
We talk about what movies they should.
Andrew Santino
I'm going to go down the same line of where we already are. One of my favorite movies. That's underrated Airheads. I fucking would love a new Airhead.
Dan Soder
But how do you do airheads? Radio doesn't matter matter anymore.
Andrew Santino
Podcasts.
Dan Soder
Oh, they like. They, like, take over.
Bobby Lee
I never saw. I never saw Airheads.
Dan Soder
Oh, you would love it. Brendan Frazier. You got Adam Sandler.
Andrew Santino
Sandler, dude.
Dan Soder
Buscemi.
Andrew Santino
So these three guys are like, they're. They're a shitty band and they badly want to get on the. On the radio back when, like, if you got your record played once, it was like you were home free on a radio.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And they decide they're gonna hijack a local radio station because they just can't get any radio play. And it's basically Die Hard at a radio station.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
That's amazing.
Andrew Santino
It's.
Dan Soder
But they're the bad guys. The good guys are the bad guys. They're like, IDIO they take over the.
Andrew Santino
Radio, but you root for them because they're so downtrodden.
Bobby Lee
Let's remake Airheads.
Andrew Santino
This is. By the way, Soder is obviously Frazier. You're the tallest. I'm Sandler, and you're Bushemi.
Dan Soder
I mean, let's do it.
Bobby Lee
What about remaking Gremlins?
Dan Soder
Love it. One. Or how about one and two? Let's give me the whole franchise.
Andrew Santino
Start with one.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, let's start with one.
Andrew Santino
Start.
Dan Soder
If anybody wants to tell you right now, I'm so.
Bobby Lee
And I want to be. I want to. I want to be a mogwai.
Andrew Santino
You are a fucking mogwai.
Dan Soder
Honestly, if they ever do a reboot and you're not voicing the mogwai.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Someone's missing big.
Bobby Lee
I want to be.
Dan Soder
Put fur.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Dan Soder
On me.
Bobby Lee
What about Goonies?
Dan Soder
No, I can't touch that.
Andrew Santino
Can't.
Bobby Lee
You can't touch it.
Dan Soder
It's pitch perfect.
Andrew Santino
It's also because that childhood fantasy of, like, neighborhood play. I don't even know if people do that. I don't know if kids do that, like, go to the.
Bobby Lee
That's a good point. That's a good point.
Andrew Santino
Do kids get in trouble?
Dan Soder
Did you see the lady in Georgia that got arrested because her son walked, like, half a mile to a store?
Bobby Lee
I remember. Yeah, I saw.
Andrew Santino
Insane.
Bobby Lee
Insane.
Dan Soder
10 years old.
Bobby Lee
She was charged, right?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
A child endangerment.
Bobby Lee
That's. Yeah. The kids wouldn't do it, so that's why it wouldn't make any sense. They call it amazing.
Dan Soder
They call that free range parenting. Now, what. When you just let your kid be a kid when you're not helicoptering anymore, now it's called free range.
Bobby Lee
I ran away from home for a week. I'm not kidding you. My parents didn't go to the co ops.
Andrew Santino
Why would that.
Dan Soder
Because they just knew you were going to come back.
Bobby Lee
I came in the house after a week. My dad goes, hello. And I go, all right.
Dan Soder
That's the reception.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it is funny that, like, it was such a. Not big. There were kids that I knew growing up whose parents were real, real, like, loosey goosey, you know?
Dan Soder
I had a friend that didn't have to check in with his parents to sleep over.
Andrew Santino
Just could just do it.
Dan Soder
He could. He could. He could turn the key and launch it himself.
Andrew Santino
So you go.
Dan Soder
You want to sleep over? He goes, yeah. You're gonna call her?
Andrew Santino
Well, for. I don't want to bug him.
Dan Soder
Yeah. I don't know. I think they. They probably.
Andrew Santino
You know where she is? She's at the casino.
Bobby Lee
Anyway, she's up in Blackhawk. Can I say this is a controversial say. I want to think. I want to say let her rip is. I feel like the bullying that I received was necessary.
Dan Soder
Yes.
Andrew Santino
When you were a kid.
Bobby Lee
Yes. Put your head in this toilet, you're not going to be able to breathe for two.
Andrew Santino
You never got a swirly in real life.
Bobby Lee
What?
Andrew Santino
You never got a swirl.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God. I was locked, like, old school. I was locked in a locker for four hours.
Dan Soder
No way.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. What was half locker so I had to crouch. It was insane.
Dan Soder
What grade?
Andrew Santino
Ninth.
Bobby Lee
No, even younger. Like, probably second grade or third grade.
Andrew Santino
Freshman year sounds like exactly what happened.
Bobby Lee
And I. I definitely heard teachers walk and I was screaming and they didn't even help me.
Andrew Santino
Well, you hear tears, like, is Bobby Lee in there? That's so funny.
Dan Soder
Yeah. Go to lounge. Go to lounge.
Bobby Lee
Go. I just feel like that sort of like, made me strong enough to do comedy almost.
Dan Soder
Yeah, absolutely. Do you know there's kids that are like, they're giving Ozempic to, like, fat kids now and you're like, no, no, you're going to. You're not going to have funny people when you grow.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Let them level out.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Dan Soder
Let them be fat and weird and awkward. Let everyone. Gillis, dude, you want that?
Andrew Santino
Doing it again. I don't know why you're doing.
Dan Soder
Honestly, I'm trying to agree.
Bobby Lee
You know what? You know what? I'm trying to bring down the king.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I'm willing to do it.
Andrew Santino
You know, it's hard to bring down the king when you're a rook.
Dan Soder
Damn. Did you just write that? Yeah, just write that.
Andrew Santino
Thank you, dog.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. And I'll be honest with you.
Dan Soder
Just spit that off the top of your head.
Bobby Lee
The last gig that he. Did you do the show?
Andrew Santino
The last gig, The Wiltern one with.
Bobby Lee
Bill Burr and Shane Gillis.
Andrew Santino
I did that show. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I wasn't asked.
Andrew Santino
Oh. They told me why they didn't ask. Because it was a strict timeline they had to keep and they were like, bob, Will, Bobby on time to sing. I said, no, no chance.
Dan Soder
Damn.
Bobby Lee
That hurts me so bad, dude. That you wouldn't. That's really hurtful.
Andrew Santino
That's not true. They didn't. They didn't ask what?
Bobby Lee
He wouldn't. They would never ask me, is my point.
Andrew Santino
This is.
Bobby Lee
It's not. Fuck you.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
Welcome to the show and thanks for doing it.
Dan Soder
Yeah, absolutely.
Bobby Lee
I'm in a mood. I'm sorry.
Dan Soder
And honestly, I love it. It's like holding a kid cat with its claws out.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Dan Soder
So sweet.
Bobby Lee
That's good, that's good.
Dan Soder
Trying to keep you away from the problem areas.
Bobby Lee
That's. Oh yeah, that's good. That's good, that's good. I have a problems with some other kings here, man. If we're doing this, let's go ahead.
Dan Soder
D.L. hughley, Steve Harvey.
Bobby Lee
I have problems. I have problems with them as well.
Andrew Santino
And rest in peace, Bernie Mack, the king of all kings.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, the true king.
Dan Soder
The true king of kings.
Bobby Lee
Right? Who has Bulgari is like somebody else we know.
Dan Soder
What are you doing, bro?
Andrew Santino
Who are you talking about?
Dan Soder
I'm telling you, we hold council with the man, okay? And you're coming and you're going to. You're going to get. You're going to.
Bobby Lee
Sometimes Slovenia needs to have start a war with the United States.
Andrew Santino
No, no, they don't.
Bobby Lee
They don't.
Andrew Santino
Terrible fucking idea.
Dan Soder
Something you say coming out of a nap.
Bobby Lee
Shopify. Guess what?
Andrew Santino
Guess what I get.
Bobby Lee
Oh, what?
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Sometimes it's a knock knock and I say knock knock, right?
Bobby Lee
Well, I'll tell you, we have the best online business because we use Shopify.
Andrew Santino
That's exactly right. Right. Shopify is home with the number one checkout on the planet. And by the way, when you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like aloe or allbirds or skims, sure, you think that's a great product, a cool brand, brilliant marketing, yada yada yada. But often overlooked. The secret is actually the businesses behind the business. Making selling for shoppers and buying very simple for millions of businesses. That business is Shopify.
Bobby Lee
Nobody does selling better than Shopify. I'm telling you right now. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret it with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%.
Andrew Santino
That is so much. That means way less carts are going to go abandoned and way more sales going checking through the roof.
Bobby Lee
Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as all birds or aloe uses.
Andrew Santino
Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com bad friends. That's all lowercase.
Bobby Lee
Go to shopify.com lowercase bad friends to upgrade your selling today.
Andrew Santino
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Bobby Lee
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with.
Andrew Santino
A message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just 15amonth. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments.
Dan Soder
But that's weird.
Andrew Santino
Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment.
Bobby Lee
Of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent.
Andrew Santino
To 15 per month required intro rate.
Bobby Lee
First 3 months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com that's not something you should.
Dan Soder
You're right.
Bobby Lee
You're right.
Andrew Santino
No, no. Whose do you want to throw a stone at? I'm curious now.
Dan Soder
Yeah. You said you wanted another case. Another.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Okay. I'll throw this out. Billy Burr. Wow. Yeah. He goes his way of saying he's like, he'll call me kiddo. Right?
Dan Soder
Does he rub your head?
Andrew Santino
You guys are the same age.
Bobby Lee
I know. And he doesn't really, you know, I mean, talk to me that much.
Dan Soder
Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
He doesn't talk to anybody that much. Bill is a very quiet.
Bobby Lee
I don't like that.
Andrew Santino
You wanted him to be more chatty.
Bobby Lee
More chatty?
Andrew Santino
Bill Burr to be more chatty.
Bobby Lee
I've. I love him.
Andrew Santino
He loves you, too.
Bobby Lee
We've worked together many times.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Anyway, let's move on.
Dan Soder
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Shots are fired.
Bobby Lee
Shots are not fired.
Andrew Santino
No.
Dan Soder
Why?
Bobby Lee
Because I said that Shane Gillis is bloated looking. How is that a shot fired?
Andrew Santino
That's legitimately a shot fired.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Is it not? Am I crazy?
Dan Soder
Of all weeks.
Bobby Lee
Okay, here we go.
Andrew Santino
I know. He's hosting snl.
Bobby Lee
That doesn't look. Shane Gillis.
Andrew Santino
Oh, my God. Dude, you're.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Shut up.
Bobby Lee
Imagine a nudist beach and Shane Gillis at it. Bingo.
Andrew Santino
There he is. I will say this. You are my best friend and I love you so much.
Bobby Lee
I'm going wrong.
Andrew Santino
I cannot wait for him to come back at you. Like, it's fucking. Honestly, it's gonna be great.
Dan Soder
I just. I feel like a fur trapper that's come out of the mountains and told you, like, you don't want that war, dude.
Andrew Santino
You think that's Gilly?
Dan Soder
I'd give you some Sam Elliott knowledge right now and say, Bobby, sometimes you eat the bear. Well, sometimes the bear eats you. That's not funny.
Bobby Lee
That's not funny. Yeah, the way you said it.
Dan Soder
Stop it.
Bobby Lee
Fuck you. Thanks for coming.
Andrew Santino
I'm loving whatever's going on.
Bobby Lee
All right, so I want to say this.
Andrew Santino
You're humming hot.
Bobby Lee
I'm humming hot right now. I'm on fire, dude.
Dan Soder
You're pinned.
Bobby Lee
I'm going to try to dig my way out. All right. When that whole thing happened with Shane. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I was the first one to defend him. Number two. The first time I saw him perform, I thought to myself, oh, I would never want to follow that. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
He's a beast.
Dan Soder
Yes.
Bobby Lee
He's an absolute beast. Right? He's at the top of his game.
Dan Soder
Absolutely.
Bobby Lee
He's Got a beautiful girlfriend, right? Yes, I met. I know his dad. Love him.
Dan Soder
Phil's a legend.
Bobby Lee
Great guy, right?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I've been only respectful to his family, Right. I did a little dig. I did a little. I did a little.
Dan Soder
I'm gonna tell you right now. You moonwalking son of a. Oh, I moonwalk, brother. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. I do.
Dan Soder
That might.
Bobby Lee
There.
Dan Soder
That might have saved you.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Andrew Santino
You walk. Walked.
Bobby Lee
I walked. Walked.
Andrew Santino
You walked.
Bobby Lee
Walked backwards. And I only have the greatest admiration. He's one of the kings of the world right now. He's a beast. And I. I discovered this when we did. No, please don't call him. I discovered this when me and Shane were guest stars on the Burton Tom show in Vegas. Yeah, I went up first, right? And I. He was supposed to go before me, and I switched it. I brought Shane on. And this is in front of 15, 20,000 seats.
Dan Soder
I was there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you were there. And when I said his name, the kind of response that he got went through my. I had a spiritual awakening.
Dan Soder
You felt that?
Bobby Lee
Is that your laugh?
Dan Soder
Yeah, that's how I laugh. That made me laugh.
Andrew Santino
Gilly.
Dan Soder
All right.
Bobby Lee
What up, bro?
Andrew Santino
I want to tell you, you're on the pod, and we can cut it for sure because I never want to trap you, but Soda's over here right now. Soda's in studio, the man. And Bobby is over here. He's on a hot one. He's talking about you. And we all. We warned him. And I said.
Bobby Lee
I'm not talking shit about you, dude.
Andrew Santino
Go ahead and say it, dude. Go ahead and say we got to say to Shane Gillis. Say it.
Bobby Lee
I just said that. You're one of the top comics on planet Earth. You're one of the kings. No.
Dan Soder
What else?
Bobby Lee
I know your dad. I know your dad, and I have great respect for you. Is that a slam?
Andrew Santino
Doesn't sound like that's what you said.
Bobby Lee
So I'll tell you what I said. All right? I think. I think you have bulgy eyes. Yeah. And sometimes you look bloated. All right. Is that war?
Andrew Santino
Oh, is it war, Gilly?
Bobby Lee
No, no, no, no, no. Me go to war with Bobby Lee. No. Could you defeat me quickly? Yeah. I'm not. No, I think you're great, man. I look forward to the special.
Andrew Santino
See that dude? He throws you a compliment, you insult my friend.
Bobby Lee
Why are you doing. Oh, my God, I feel so bad.
Andrew Santino
That's the kind of guy Gillis is. Thank you, Shane.
Bobby Lee
Thank you.
Andrew Santino
Love you, buddy. Talk to you later.
Bobby Lee
Hey, good luck, man. I Wish you guys nothing but the best. Bobby, keep it up, man. Man, you're hilarious.
Andrew Santino
I love you, Shane. Damn. Too nice, dude.
Dan Soder
That good a comedy and that good a person.
Andrew Santino
So you get a two for two.
Dan Soder
Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
You feel it now, huh?
Dan Soder
You know what, though?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
At least you're reflective of it.
Bobby Lee
That's even.
Dan Soder
And the accountability.
Bobby Lee
Well, I'll tell you another thing, dude. We're cutting all that out. I have control of this podcast. We're going to cut all that out. Out.
Andrew Santino
Dude. Yeah, he just texted me.
Bobby Lee
What do you say?
Andrew Santino
Tell him he's dead. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Let me see it.
Andrew Santino
Dead. Told you.
Dan Soder
Wait, he did? Really?
Bobby Lee
Dead?
Andrew Santino
That's it for you, buddy.
Bobby Lee
That's it for me. Oh, well, you know what?
Dan Soder
That's a good run.
Bobby Lee
I think it's my way to get out. It's a good run. It's a good run. It's my way to get out. I'll get out.
Dan Soder
It's my way to get out. You know what, man? Honestly, they won't be able to find me in Vermont if I stay off the Internet.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I mean, I have a fantasy of just kind of getting out.
Andrew Santino
You know what it is, dude?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
This is like one of those Hollywood stars. Where are they now? And this will be a grainy flashback to when it all started to plummet.
Dan Soder
Yeah. This is when the music changes, dude. This is when the music changes on the dock.
Andrew Santino
The color slowly fades.
Dan Soder
I mean, it goes black, stings get slowed down.
Andrew Santino
It just punched in on you right now contemplating.
Bobby Lee
I want to say I haven't slept a lot lately.
Dan Soder
I'm okay.
Andrew Santino
All you do is sleep. It's literally all I.
Bobby Lee
No, but the last three days I haven't because I've been traveling and stuff. Okay. I haven't not sleep. Been sleeping.
Andrew Santino
You think you're.
Bobby Lee
I. I'm not in my right mind. And I think that what I did was not right. And it was like. I. I don't even think that's how I really feel, you know? Yeah, I think it was just a guy just out of his mind talking.
Dan Soder
Yeah, dude, I get it.
Bobby Lee
You get it?
Andrew Santino
I respect it, man, and I apologize.
Bobby Lee
I don't. You don't look like. Like a security guard at a boutiques. Soho.
Dan Soder
Honestly, I would have taken that over what you originally said because that says I am there to secure.
Bobby Lee
And I. I think you were one of the first people to text me when I got hurt when I woke.
Dan Soder
Up and I heard about it and.
Bobby Lee
We have a great relationship.
Dan Soder
Absolutely.
Bobby Lee
And that's My bad.
Andrew Santino
We can start anew.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And la. You know last week when I went after you.
Andrew Santino
You did?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Bobby Spring about to be sprung.
Bobby Lee
I apologize for that. I was like, not in my right mind.
Andrew Santino
I don't care. It was actually kind of funny.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
I loved. I actually thought it was very funny. Someone sent me the clip. I was like, that's pretty funny.
Bobby Lee
Okay. So. So it's my. I'm the. I'm the one that needs to change. I'm the wrong. Wow. I'm the bad guy.
Dan Soder
That level of accountability.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I. I'm ashamed that I said.
Dan Soder
No, stop. You are. You are entering a new phase in life.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Where you are taking ownership.
Bobby Lee
I'm trying to figure out if I really believe what I said. So I'm going through that right now. You know what I mean? I just. Be honest with you. Like, reflect. Do I really feel that way? Maybe, maybe not. But I shouldn't have said it out loud. I'll tell you that right now. In fact, I will say this. I do believe what I said. All of it.
Dan Soder
Oh.
Bobby Lee
But I shouldn't have said it out loud.
Andrew Santino
Okay. Dude.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
That's crazy.
Andrew Santino
Pretty good. That was a 180 to a 180. We're right back where we started.
Dan Soder
If you watched a trial with that kind of. Admit where he goes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I don't.
Dan Soder
I'm sorry I killed her. But am I sorry I killed her? Not really. But I am sorry that I did it. I felt it. And I'm fine for feeling that.
Bobby Lee
I've been masturbating in five days.
Andrew Santino
Well, you. Why haven't you jerked off in five days?
Bobby Lee
I'm trying to.
Andrew Santino
Not five days. Yeah, five days is a pretty good amount of time.
Dan Soder
When did you notice it? Like, what was the worst day so far?
Bobby Lee
Like today, last night. I tried to and I couldn't do it.
Andrew Santino
Four day four is when I start to get a little itchy.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Ari Shafir would told me that he said this out loud so I. You know.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
That he. The way, you know, his girlfriend. Great girlfriend.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
That the reason he even met her in the first place, because he wasn't masturbating for a long time. Time. And then when that happens, that it motivates you to, like, you know, when you meet a girl like, hey, meet us at the bar. You don't go. It motivated him to go.
Dan Soder
Yeah. Because he had full balls.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. So I think it is a good advice, five days, though.
Andrew Santino
You should. You gotta. You gotta empty it out. Man.
Dan Soder
Yeah, go, go empty the clip.
Bobby Lee
And maybe that's why I'm acting the way I am today.
Andrew Santino
That's exactly right. That actually explains.
Dan Soder
You know what? That. Is it because you're aggressive. You're being very.
Bobby Lee
Being very aggressive, right?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
You're just horned up.
Bobby Lee
Dude, I'm horned up.
Andrew Santino
You're a little full.
Bobby Lee
So. Chin, if you're listening, running, don't start a war with me.
Dan Soder
Yeah, dude, I'm horned up.
Bobby Lee
You get what you're saying? Yeah, Yeah.
Andrew Santino
A guy getting to a fight with another guy, be like, brother, don't. I'm just this way because you're horny.
Dan Soder
I just realized it. The reason I tried to fight you in that bar was because I have a boner.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Out of my mind.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So I apologize. And I think people listening get it.
Dan Soder
Oh. Huh.
Andrew Santino
I think they get it.
Bobby Lee
I think they get it too.
Dan Soder
Any rational person would get it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Now, can I ask you another question? What do you think of Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix?
Andrew Santino
I know you called me about this. We talked.
Bobby Lee
Have you been there?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. He's Tucson. He doesn't know Phoenix as well.
Dan Soder
Yeah, I know.
Bobby Lee
South on I10 so years ago, a film critic in New York Times said that that's the best pizza on planet Earth. And it became a gigantic hours away.
Andrew Santino
Big planet.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And big planet. To say Earth, dude, that's insane.
Bobby Lee
And you know, I went there again. It's pretty good.
Andrew Santino
It's good.
Dan Soder
Is it? Is it like. Have you had Frank Pepe's in Connecticut?
Andrew Santino
That's like one of the. That's like the.
Bobby Lee
Why would I go there?
Dan Soder
I don't know. You do a lot of shows.
Andrew Santino
Connecticut has some of the best pizza.
Dan Soder
They're trying to like, they're trying to make it that. They're trying to make us Hartford there in Connecticut. Yeah, yeah. But this. But Frank Pepe's is in New York.
Bobby Lee
Hartford, Connecticut. Funny bone. They just. They were so rude to me. That's why I've never been back.
Andrew Santino
The club?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Or the people that went to the club?
Bobby Lee
No, the. The staff, the management there.
Andrew Santino
Really.
Bobby Lee
I did one weekend there and the manager at the last night and I'd seen him around all weekend, finally introduced himself and he was kind of like, here's your check.
Dan Soder
Oh, damn.
Andrew Santino
Maybe he had something going on. He could have had full balls. What if that guy had full balls?
Dan Soder
Would you have taken it if he was full balls?
Bobby Lee
No, twice I've been there.
Andrew Santino
Imagine he's.
Bobby Lee
And they were not nice to me.
Andrew Santino
Well, he's. Well, maybe he had full balls twice.
Dan Soder
They can fill up real quick.
Bobby Lee
Okay, you know what? You're right. Maybe you're right.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
So Connecticut has the best pizza.
Dan Soder
They try to. If you ever go to New Haven, you should have Frank Pepe's.
Bobby Lee
New Haven. Frank Pepe's.
Dan Soder
It's very good.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so.
Dan Soder
But do you think so far, do you think Pizza Bianco was the best you've ever had?
Bobby Lee
I think that it's the best in the top five I've ever had, probably.
Andrew Santino
Well, okay, let's. Frank, how about this? This is even more. Because we got in a good debate about donuts the other week. Let's try.
Dan Soder
By the way, in Los Angeles, I go to kettle glaze every time I'm here.
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah.
Dan Soder
And I went and picked up a half a dozen.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you are a little sweet secret sweet boy. Huh?
Dan Soder
I'm pretty loud. I'm pretty raging.
Bobby Lee
I'm going to tell you something right now. I think you're going wrong with it. I think you're going wrong with it, and I'm going to convince you otherwise.
Dan Soder
Kettle glaze.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
The wrong way to go.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I would go have your head. Sidecar.
Andrew Santino
Mm. We brought them into the studio one time.
Bobby Lee
What do you think of them?
Andrew Santino
They're kind of fine.
Dan Soder
Wow.
Andrew Santino
You know, it's not my. It's not my number.
Dan Soder
Oh, are they like, a busy donut?
Andrew Santino
A busy don't. Yes.
Dan Soder
Here's.
Bobby Lee
We were talking about this. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Kettle glaze goes like this. We're a donut.
Andrew Santino
We're done. See, that's what I like.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Dan Soder
Like, we're a donut wearing a fruit hat.
Andrew Santino
You know what? You know what these are? These are donuts that. These are a. These are single moms now that have been through a divorce. That's who. This donut.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's got too much going on.
Dan Soder
Yeah. You go. You don't need all of this. You don't even need.
Bobby Lee
But I'm going to double down now, my friends. Okay. And I'm going to show you something that's going to blow your minds. If I may.
Andrew Santino
Please.
Bobby Lee
Okay. In Korea.
Andrew Santino
I'm already out.
Dan Soder
I'm in. I'm in. Harder.
Bobby Lee
That's the right answer.
Andrew Santino
South or North?
Dan Soder
I don't care.
Andrew Santino
The good side.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Look at Kim Jong Un does North Korea.
Bobby Lee
He loves donuts.
Andrew Santino
North Korea have a similar thing. Like, Northern Ireland has an up the Raw. Like, does North Korea have a fucking chant or anything like that?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Kill American. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Or it's like, it's untime.
Bobby Lee
So there's a. They have one now. So this is a Korean company that. They have one in Koreatown, and it's called Old Fairy Donut.
Dan Soder
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Okay, That's.
Andrew Santino
That's what we call you.
Bobby Lee
You know what, dude, that's rude.
Andrew Santino
You set me up.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Old Fairy. Old F, E, R, R, Y.
Bobby Lee
Like, yeah, it is the best donut in la.
Andrew Santino
All right, we'll go to Old Fairy.
Dan Soder
Oh, yeah, those pictures, Bobby, you're right. This is it.
Bobby Lee
Sarcastic.
Dan Soder
No, I'm being 100 for real.
Bobby Lee
Telling you.
Dan Soder
You showed me that first fancy. I don't want that. This is.
Andrew Santino
Yes, I want to rank this. I want to rank the most. The corporate pizza joints where they go. Because, look, everyone's got their fancy pizza joints. Give me the corporate rankings. Give me Domino's Pizza Hut, Little Caesars. Give me. Sbaro can be thrown.
Bobby Lee
I can tell you go. I honestly think Pizza Hut.
Dan Soder
Yes.
Andrew Santino
Number one.
Dan Soder
Number one is Pizza Hut because no.
Bobby Lee
One crust is buttery and something about it.
Dan Soder
Also, the way they do their pizza, it stays more of like a pizza Domino's. They overload you with the fucking dough and the cheese.
Bobby Lee
And your swearing is right for that. They're fucking dough. Yeah. Yeah. I hate it.
Andrew Santino
I think little C's is my favorite.
Bobby Lee
What?
Andrew Santino
That's hot and ready, dude. Hot and ready. It's simple. It's simple as Little C's. Cheese is fine.
Dan Soder
What do you have? Cricket. You have a cricket phone?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Who likes Little Caesars?
Andrew Santino
I just like the five.
Bobby Lee
One of their toppings is cancer.
Dan Soder
I. I bet it goes Pizza Hut, Domino's. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Papa John's.
Bobby Lee
Papa John's.
Dan Soder
Pre or post N word. I don't know that garlic sauce. You get in the top three with that?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, dude, I like the hot and ready. Just. It saved me for a long time in my 20s. Financially, I think if you ate it.
Bobby Lee
Now, you would think differently, because I don't.
Andrew Santino
We don't have that pizza now. That's the problem. Like, I haven't eaten anything like that in a long time.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but the pizza, Little Caesar is still around.
Dan Soder
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Is it?
Dan Soder
Dude?
Bobby Lee
What? Every corner go to Western.
Dan Soder
My buddy Matt's kid, I haven't seen.
Andrew Santino
A Little Caesars in forever.
Dan Soder
My buddy Matt's kid just tried it for the first time, like, last week, and he was like. He says it's the best food he's ever had in his life.
Andrew Santino
Life I've never seen. We're in Echo Park. Not Going over there.
Dan Soder
But what if you guys had a Little Caesar's pizza party and it was brought to you?
Andrew Santino
We keep talking about it. They might end up sponsoring the show.
Bobby Lee
So I went to pizza. When I play Chicago improv, some things that get me a fresh lumalnal. Yeah, it's pretty good.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. It's my. That's my. That's. I love.
Bobby Lee
It's pretty good.
Dan Soder
It's very good.
Bobby Lee
I like deep. Deep dish. I don't care what you feel about it.
Andrew Santino
It's good Just for that special occasion. We don't eat it on the regular.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. But I love it.
Dan Soder
It's heavy. It's too heavy for a regular.
Andrew Santino
Now you eat it once in. Wow. It's. It's cake.
Dan Soder
Yeah. Fork and knife.
Bobby Lee
So I had this Filipino family, Kila's End, come from Philippines one summer, and we went to that deep dish pizza place in Los Feliz or Echo Park. Masa. Masa.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Masa. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Very good.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it's great.
Bobby Lee
They didn't eat it.
Dan Soder
What?
Bobby Lee
They don't know what it is.
Andrew Santino
There wasn't any bugs on it.
Bobby Lee
No. Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They're like.
Bobby Lee
There's no cardboard.
Andrew Santino
If you shave some tree bark on, they say we'll be good.
Dan Soder
Say when. On the tree bark. They're doing it like it's truffle.
Andrew Santino
Can I interest you in some truffle?
Dan Soder
Yeah. This is some oak. We're just gonna shave it onto your.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, of course.
Andrew Santino
They didn't eat. That's not. They're in their flavor profile. They like. They like spicy. That pizza is a thick, doughy cake pizza.
Dan Soder
It's just a mushed up tomato.
Andrew Santino
They're not gonna like that.
Bobby Lee
But let me say something to you, y'all.
Dan Soder
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
When I'm in a different country, I just. I'll check all of it out and I'll try it.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you're saying they didn't even want to try it?
Dan Soder
Yeah, they didn't even, like, attempt it at that thing.
Bobby Lee
How would you not try that?
Dan Soder
They didn't even take a bite.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, there's no.
Dan Soder
That is. That's, like. You get. I would. I would see myself getting very upset about that.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Take a.
Dan Soder
Being like, take a bite.
Bobby Lee
I also made reservations. You guys got to check out this.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean?
Dan Soder
Put thought into it.
Bobby Lee
Exactly, dude.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What do they end up wanting? They want a jollibee. Right? Right? Yeah, they love jollibee, dude.
Dan Soder
What's jollibee?
Bobby Lee
Oh, you're. You know, it's Their version of, like, a chain food restaurant.
Andrew Santino
But it's. But it's. They live and die by this so much so that, like, yeah, you know.
Bobby Lee
You know, but they have spaghetti, too. Show. Show me Jollibee spaghetti, you know.
Andrew Santino
You know, Benny Blanco, that's their spaghetti. The producer.
Bobby Lee
You know how you. Sometimes you're in the mood for spaghetti and a chicken leg.
Dan Soder
Yeah. What am I pregnant?
Andrew Santino
Benny Blanco did a video of a food review, I think, at his house, and he caught so much from Filipino fans for just being like, this isn't good, Benny B. Yeah, but it's so funny how, like, they take. This is like their.
Bobby Lee
But the one in the Philippines that I've been to is. The quality is different. It's better.
Andrew Santino
You think it's just. Yeah, it's just.
Dan Soder
Do you think it's like. Like, when you get a Guinness in Ireland, it's just better?
Andrew Santino
That's.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that's what it is.
Andrew Santino
I don't know.
Dan Soder
That's true. They clean out their lines.
Andrew Santino
I know, but you go to a good spot that serves a good Guinness, there's a couple of good Guinness spots. Because I. That, you know, that's my beer. I don't really drink beer, but if I'm going to have a beer, I'm drinking that.
Dan Soder
You know, I was the.
Andrew Santino
I was the Guinness king.
Dan Soder
I was the brand ambassador.
Andrew Santino
What?
Dan Soder
Yeah, that's what got me out, Julie, you know Julian McCullough.
Andrew Santino
I know. Yeah, I know.
Dan Soder
He did the Guinness brand ambassador thing, and then he quit drinking, and they were trying to find a new one, and he's like, you should have my buddy Soder do it. And.
Bobby Lee
Can I talk about him? What's that, McCullough?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You cut off a story, but, yeah.
Dan Soder
What's up?
Andrew Santino
What's going on? You're gonna call him bloated, too?
Bobby Lee
Finish your story?
Dan Soder
No, I was just saying I got to go to the. I got to, like, go. They flew me to Dublin, and I got to, like. I had to drink Guinness for, like, two years.
Andrew Santino
The best.
Dan Soder
And by the end, I was like, get this mud water out of me.
Andrew Santino
I love it.
Bobby Lee
See, when he finishes it, we should have cut it off this guy.
Andrew Santino
Dude, you're. You're a little hot. Hot.
Dan Soder
I need. I almost need you to go to the bathroom.
Bobby Lee
I think I have to. I think I have to watch you come back.
Dan Soder
And it's just.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I'm not gonna. You know what? You're right. I'm gonna be more mindful about it. I'm not gonna say what I want to say about Julian McCullough, I think it's another war.
Andrew Santino
Go ahead, let me hear it. You might as well, dude. You're starting it up.
Bobby Lee
So when I met him, he used to live in la.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I thought, what a handsome fella he is.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Something happened.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you're saying he lost his look?
Bobby Lee
Something happened.
Dan Soder
Did you fall out of love with him because he's still handsome? Maybe you fell out of love with him.
Bobby Lee
Maybe.
Andrew Santino
He's a pretty good looking guy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I guess he's still got it. Okay.
Andrew Santino
What did you think you. Did you see him on an off night?
Bobby Lee
I mean, look. Yeah. So when I saw him recently, he just got older. That's it. Like, we all do. He gained like six pounds is all.
Dan Soder
Dude, Bobby's like Tim Gunn. He's like, what are you, fat? Look at this. Gross.
Bobby Lee
No, I loved it. Ew, what a fantastic.
Dan Soder
Julian rules.
Bobby Lee
He's so funny.
Dan Soder
He's very, very.
Bobby Lee
I love him anyway, and thanks for.
Dan Soder
Giving me the brand Ambassador job in 2000.
Bobby Lee
Thank you, Julian.
Dan Soder
I got to quit waiting tables because of it.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Dan Soder
It's pretty sick.
Andrew Santino
Isn't that great when something like that changes your life?
Dan Soder
I mean, changed my life. I bought a laptop. I never. I didn't own a laptop from 2007 to 2011.
Andrew Santino
Slow down.
Bobby Lee
Is Joe Matari still around?
Dan Soder
I don't know.
Bobby Lee
You know him.
Dan Soder
Yeah, I know Jim, Joe, Matt.
Andrew Santino
The first time I made enough money to buy like a new laptop, like a real one, I didn't. I didn't watch porn on it. I was so scared.
Dan Soder
Yeah. You don't want to. Yes. You didn't want to damage.
Andrew Santino
I didn't want to hurt her. I keep her in good shape.
Dan Soder
No, only emails and videos for years.
Andrew Santino
I was like, so afraid. I was like, no, it's going to it up. And it's the first one I could afford, so no, I'm not going to it up.
Dan Soder
Yes. That's how I felt about my iPhone. First time I got an iPhone. I'm like watching porn on this thing. And then you're like, oh, you can watch porn on this thing. That's all I wanted.
Andrew Santino
And now that's all it is for.
Dan Soder
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Dan, how are you dealing with the fame, brother?
Dan Soder
Day by day.
Andrew Santino
He takes it day by day.
Bobby Lee
But do. Do you like it?
Dan Soder
I'm not famous.
Bobby Lee
What are you talking about? Can I tell you why you are? Because I'm hanging out with somebody. She was, introduced me to these family members.
Dan Soder
Sure.
Bobby Lee
And there was a guy involved and he was like, do you know Dennis Hodo? No, they were white.
Andrew Santino
Oh, sorry.
Dan Soder
You know what, though?
Bobby Lee
You. You seem to think all the people I hang out with are Asian.
Andrew Santino
Well, I didn't get an accent in all episode. I figured I had to do it now because we talked about.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Okay.
Dan Soder
Honestly, at the buzzer. Nailed it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. But he is a huge fan of yours.
Dan Soder
Oh, that's awesome.
Bobby Lee
He's like, I love. You know how. What's he like? You know what I mean?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I swear to God. And I'm like, who, Dan? He goes, yeah. What's he like? He seems he's biggest fan.
Andrew Santino
He's the man.
Bobby Lee
I've seen people talk about you many times.
Dan Soder
Really?
Bobby Lee
So there is a level of fame, and you know it because when you go to clubs, you sell out, right?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
So why does that happen?
Dan Soder
Because I've been going to cities for years.
Bobby Lee
That's not why. It's because you're. You're. Your presence is elevated.
Dan Soder
Thank you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I mean, you write. Can we agree with that? So how are you dealing with it?
Andrew Santino
I didn't know who this guy was before he walked in the door.
Dan Soder
I just randomly walk in. Can I sit down on your podcast also?
Bobby Lee
People that we have on this podcast are people that are elevated.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
So how does it feel?
Dan Soder
Feels good. Thank you. By the way, Bobby.
Bobby Lee
Easy answer, dude.
Dan Soder
But just like the way you described me, you went, the. The worst thing with me is me trying to be confident with myself.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's hard to. I know.
Dan Soder
On me all you want. Bring it on, baby. Yeah, we can have fun. But the second you go, like, good job. I go, it's the hug.
Bobby Lee
Why are we like that?
Dan Soder
It's the hugging step brothers. Because it's. You just said it earlier. It's the bullying that made you funny.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I'm shocked when people are like, come to my shows and it's sold out or whatever. I always turn to the manager, go, is there some sort of promotion going on? And they go, what do you mean? I go, I mean, is it a two for one or what's going on? He goes, no, it's regular price. And you sold out. And I'm always. I look in the audience, I go, wow.
Dan Soder
I've told this story before on. On the regs, but I was working the Blue Room in Springfield, Missouri, and I drove from Kansas City to Springfield, and I had a bunch of texts, and people were like. Like, they're like, dude, the club's running a special where if they buy tickets to You. They're entered into a raffle to see Matt Rife. And like, so many comics texted me screen, grabbed it and sent it to me.
Bobby Lee
They're like, wow, really?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, they're like, same audience.
Dan Soder
They were like. They were like, hey, buy tickets to this ogre and then maybe you can see Matt Rife. And it worked.
Bobby Lee
It worked. Wow. Yeah.
Dan Soder
My ticket sales were dog shit. And there were people there and it was. It was wild. That's like where you're like, oh, so you guys are running around. Okay. And then when it really happens, you go.
Andrew Santino
First time I played the Mall of America.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
House of comedy, maybe 20 people maybe. And that's like a 500 seat room.
Bobby Lee
That's a hard.
Dan Soder
That's a full circle moment, though. Taping your special in Minneapolis.
Andrew Santino
That was pretty cool, that. It was really cool. It was. That one hurt a lot, though, the mall, because you walk into.
Dan Soder
It's a big room, too.
Andrew Santino
And you have to walk into the mall before you go to a club, which hurts you twice.
Bobby Lee
Also. Top floor.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. You have to pass.
Bobby Lee
You have to go up escalators and elevators.
Dan Soder
And honestly, that Jamba Juice is doing some heavy lifting.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
There's.
Dan Soder
I'm getting an Orange Dream Machine and then I'm going upstairs.
Andrew Santino
By the way, it's an Orange Julius now. I'm just kidding. I'm not.
Bobby Lee
I'm glad you said that because that was my worst turnout of all time.
Andrew Santino
I got.
Bobby Lee
I h them, all of them.
Dan Soder
Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
And I just. I can see an image of me like a Paul Thomas Anderson shot of me, like, going down the escalator when it's over, passing, like the guy at Journeys, like, turning off the lights.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Shutting the cage.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Like, yeah, dude, it hurt. It hurts. Hurts so much when you, like, have to do that. But it makes you a great comic. And to piggyback what you're saying, not to be a sappy, but I thank every. Every set now. I've been thanking the fans and I did it every night at the special because it does mean the world to me that they show up. I think it's so dope that they come out. It's. Dude, it. It never has made me go. Yep. Knew it. Every time I go out, I go, wow, dude, thank you. Unreal. Amazing.
Bobby Lee
Do you have.
Andrew Santino
But there's a couple of comics we know, you know, that are like, I knew it was going to be this way.
Dan Soder
That's crazy.
Bobby Lee
I do get resentments, though, of clubs that didn't treat you well.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You know I mean, and then now you won't play them.
Dan Soder
Yeah. I got a couple.
Andrew Santino
You mean. Totally.
Dan Soder
I got a couple.
Bobby Lee
Is that right, though? Is that healthy?
Andrew Santino
That's like, if any. If any regular person at your regular job at home, whatever job that you work, if someone treated you poorly in your customer route and then you started doing well on some other version of your job and then those customers wanted to come back, you'd be like, get fucked.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
The clubs I play now are. The clubs are necessarily not because of the draw, but it's because they treated me when I was down.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
So when I talked about Hartford, Connecticut, at that Funny Bone, I was down then.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Right. And I just want people to be regular and nice.
Dan Soder
Yeah. When they're. When they're. When they're good to you. When they don't have a reason to be.
Bobby Lee
I have loyalty. Yeah.
Dan Soder
You're like, oh, cool, then I'll come back. Back, you know, like, they used to.
Andrew Santino
Be good to me, by the way. I'm not saying not change, but when I was doing those house comedies.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And Bronson's Rooms, they. They were always good to me.
Bobby Lee
Edmonton's great.
Dan Soder
Now, that's where we might differ.
Andrew Santino
Oh, really? Oh, you got clipped out there.
Dan Soder
There might be a reason why I don't use them as a club chain anymore. Oh, I. You want to talk about one of my worst weekends of my life?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Was the. That club House of Comedy in Scottsdale.
Bobby Lee
Scottsdale.
Dan Soder
It's north Scottsdale, dude. At a point, it looked like a moon base. When you drive up and you'd be like, there's nothing. It looks like Mars and.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dan Soder
And I just ate every night so bad.
Bobby Lee
Is that 12 years ago again?
Dan Soder
Yeah, it's 2000. Yeah. This is 2013. 2014.
Bobby Lee
Wow. Wow.
Dan Soder
I think the Edmonton happened, like, 2016, 2017. This is like 2014. I remember specifically, I called Gary Goldman, and Gary Goldman was like, just do your best stuff. Keep your head down. Get through the weekend.
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah.
Dan Soder
Because it was just. Well, was eating.
Andrew Santino
I'll tell you why, though. From a socioeconomic standpoint, you're not that kind of. That's not your crowd.
Dan Soder
No.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. This is like retirees. This is a lot of, like, old couples.
Bobby Lee
God.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. This is.
Dan Soder
I also have, like, some resentment for Arizona because, like, you went to school there.
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah.
Dan Soder
You know, we both went to school there, and you kind of come back and you're like, you weren't that nice to me.
Andrew Santino
Why were you so mean to me?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dan Soder
You got doing to me.
Bobby Lee
Come back to those things.
Dan Soder
You're like, I couldn't get pussy for shit at this school. And I'm coming back and being like. But. But I. I'm doing a show in Tucson this fall. I'm very excited. I haven't been back to Tucson in, like, years.
Andrew Santino
Plug it, by the way. You playing the school?
Dan Soder
No, no, no, no. I don't know what venue we're doing yet, but we're setting it up.
Andrew Santino
Have you ever played this school?
Dan Soder
No, I have zero interest.
Andrew Santino
One day I want to play asu. I don't know why, Because I think Schwartzen played there when I was in school.
Dan Soder
That's awesome.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, well, he was.
Dan Soder
I want to do the Rialto because that's where I saw Chappelle in Tucson.
Andrew Santino
That's sick.
Dan Soder
During the Blackzilla. Season one of Chappelle.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Dan Soder
Without a doubt, one of the greatest live standup shows I've ever seen in my life. Guy did like 70, came back out, did 20 on courts.
Andrew Santino
Get.
Bobby Lee
Get ripping it.
Andrew Santino
I hate that we're doing 26, tops.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Bring up Sod's dates.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
If you want to see Dan Soder on tour, he's on tour right now here in February, March, April, May. He's everywhere. His Balboa Theater down there in San Diego.
Dan Soder
So Richmond, Virginia, I'm gonna be at the Funny Bone April 4th and 5th, and then in Spokane Comedy Club May 1st through the 3rd. We got a big announcement coming up with a bunch of shows that I'm gonna hopefully be dropping very soon that are not on this list, that are not listed.
Andrew Santino
Are you doing, like, a skanks thing?
Dan Soder
No.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Dan Soder
I'm doing, like, a tour.
Andrew Santino
With a bunch of other guys?
Dan Soder
No, by myself. Okay, Big boy. Shit.
Andrew Santino
All right, big dog.
Dan Soder
Put on some big pants.
Andrew Santino
Well, go to dansoder.com if you do wanna go see one of the funniest comedians we know touring across the country. We love you, Dan. Look at that camera. Say thank you for being a bad friend.
Dan Soder
Thank you for being a bad friend.
Andrew Santino
God, your voice is so good.
Podcast Summary: Bad Friends - "We Bring Down the King"
Episode Information:
The episode kicks off with the hosts, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, engaging in their signature playful banter. Bobby introduces the episode with enthusiastic remarks about "American Idol," seamlessly transitioning into promoting his upcoming shows in Houston. The dynamic between Bobby and Andrew is immediately characterized by friendly teasing and light-hearted insults, setting the tone for the episode.
Notable Quote:
A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the nature of their friendship, specifically addressing rumors of them being "bad friends." Both hosts discuss instances where they've heard others talking behind their backs and emphasize their commitment to defending one another. The interplay between Bobby, Andrew, and guest Dan Soder highlights their deep bond and mutual respect, despite the comedic jabs.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation takes a serious turn as Bobby and Andrew delve into topics of addiction and sobriety. Bobby shares his three-year journey of sobriety, expressing concerns about potential relapses. Andrew discusses his experiences with substance use and emphasizes the importance of maintaining a clean lifestyle. The dialogue is candid, providing listeners with an authentic glimpse into their personal challenges and support systems.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts and Dan Soder recount their experiences on various comedy tours, particularly focusing on challenges like ticket sales and venue dynamics. Andrew shares his frustrations with overlapping shows in Minneapolis, lamenting the lack of communication between promoters and the resulting financial strain. Bobby reflects on his early days performing in smaller clubs, illustrating the struggles comedians face in building their careers.
Notable Quotes:
A humorous yet concerning discussion unfolds around recent flight near-misses and potential connections to Chinese drones. Bobby speculates on a possible link between drone activity and plane crashes, drawing parallels to spy tactics portrayed in films like "Zero Dark Thirty." While the conversation is light-hearted, it touches on genuine anxieties surrounding aviation safety and international espionage.
Notable Quotes:
The trio shares a series of comedic stories, ranging from Bobby's unconventional encounter backstage to Dan's experiences with brand ambassadorships. These anecdotes are interspersed with witty exchanges and playful insults, showcasing their chemistry and ability to find humor in everyday situations.
Notable Quotes:
Interwoven throughout the episode are several promotional segments endorsing products like Nicotine Nicked Pouches, DraftKings Sportsbook, Tremphya for ulcerative colitis, Manscaped grooming products, Mint Mobile, and more. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining the episode's flow while highlighting sponsorships.
Notable Segments:
As the episode progresses, Bobby, Andrew, and Dan navigate through various topics with humor and honesty. The hosts express their gratitude towards each other and their fans, emphasizing the importance of loyalty and support within their comedic community. The episode culminates with heartfelt apologies and acknowledgments, reinforcing the strong friendship at the core of the "Bad Friends" podcast.
Notable Quotes:
Key Takeaways:
Overall, "We Bring Down the King" offers a mix of heartfelt dialogue, comedic storytelling, and candid reflections, making it a compelling episode for both regular listeners and newcomers to the "Bad Friends" podcast.