We Bring Down the King

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends - "We Bring Down the King"

Episode Information:

• Title: We Bring Down the King
• Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
• Guest: Dan Soder
• Release Date: March 17, 2025
• Production: A 7EQUIS production

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1. Introduction and Podcast Dynamics

The episode kicks off with the hosts, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, engaging in their signature playful banter. Bobby introduces the episode with enthusiastic remarks about "American Idol," seamlessly transitioning into promoting his upcoming shows in Houston. The dynamic between Bobby and Andrew is immediately characterized by friendly teasing and light-hearted insults, setting the tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Bobby Lee [00:15]: "And a new chapter begins. You're going to Hollywood."

2. Friendship and Defending Each Other

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the nature of their friendship, specifically addressing rumors of them being "bad friends." Both hosts discuss instances where they've heard others talking behind their backs and emphasize their commitment to defending one another. The interplay between Bobby, Andrew, and guest Dan Soder highlights their deep bond and mutual respect, despite the comedic jabs.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Santino [01:18]: "I heard you guys talking a lot of when I wasn't here."
• Bobby Lee [04:01]: "I think you're right. I think."

3. Addiction, Sobriety, and Personal Struggles

The conversation takes a serious turn as Bobby and Andrew delve into topics of addiction and sobriety. Bobby shares his three-year journey of sobriety, expressing concerns about potential relapses. Andrew discusses his experiences with substance use and emphasizes the importance of maintaining a clean lifestyle. The dialogue is candid, providing listeners with an authentic glimpse into their personal challenges and support systems.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [07:18]: "I have to say, for Saturday night's second show was one of my best performances."
• Andrew Santino [06:25]: "But it's not real. That's like a fake."

4. Comedy Tours and Show Experiences

The hosts and Dan Soder recount their experiences on various comedy tours, particularly focusing on challenges like ticket sales and venue dynamics. Andrew shares his frustrations with overlapping shows in Minneapolis, lamenting the lack of communication between promoters and the resulting financial strain. Bobby reflects on his early days performing in smaller clubs, illustrating the struggles comedians face in building their careers.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Santino [10:04]: "But I love when Carlos laughs at me because, you know, he gets my comedy."
• Bobby Lee [11:25]: "The first time I played the Philadelphia Helium."

5. Flight Safety and Conspiracy Theories

A humorous yet concerning discussion unfolds around recent flight near-misses and potential connections to Chinese drones. Bobby speculates on a possible link between drone activity and plane crashes, drawing parallels to spy tactics portrayed in films like "Zero Dark Thirty." While the conversation is light-hearted, it touches on genuine anxieties surrounding aviation safety and international espionage.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [14:34]: "But I'm going to double down now, my friends."
• Andrew Santino [15:19]: "Something UFO airspace? What, what, what?"

6. Humorous Anecdotes and Personal Stories

The trio shares a series of comedic stories, ranging from Bobby's unconventional encounter backstage to Dan's experiences with brand ambassadorships. These anecdotes are interspersed with witty exchanges and playful insults, showcasing their chemistry and ability to find humor in everyday situations.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [20:49]: "I've done sex with a waterbed."
• Dan Soder [55:58]: "That's a 180 to a 180. We're right back where we started."

7. Promotional Segments

Interwoven throughout the episode are several promotional segments endorsing products like Nicotine Nicked Pouches, DraftKings Sportsbook, Tremphya for ulcerative colitis, Manscaped grooming products, Mint Mobile, and more. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining the episode's flow while highlighting sponsorships.

Notable Segments:

• Nicotine Nicked Pouches [21:35]: "Our listeners get 35% off when you order our exclusive URL nickedpouches.com/badfriends."
• DraftKings Sportsbook [23:03]: "Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use Code Bad Friends for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets."

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Conclusion and Final Reflections

As the episode progresses, Bobby, Andrew, and Dan navigate through various topics with humor and honesty. The hosts express their gratitude towards each other and their fans, emphasizing the importance of loyalty and support within their comedic community. The episode culminates with heartfelt apologies and acknowledgments, reinforcing the strong friendship at the core of the "Bad Friends" podcast.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [43:55]: "I'm sorry. I was like, not in my right mind."
• Andrew Santino [53:00]: "Let them rip is. I feel like the bullying that I received was necessary."

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Key Takeaways:

• Authentic Friendship: The episode underscores the genuine bond between the hosts and their willingness to defend and support each other.
• Personal Struggles: Open discussions about addiction and sobriety highlight their personal growth and resilience.
• Comedic Insights: Through shared stories and humor, the hosts provide listeners with an inside look into the life of comedians.
• Integration of Promotions: Sponsored segments are cleverly woven into the conversation, ensuring they complement rather than disrupt the content.

Overall, "We Bring Down the King" offers a mix of heartfelt dialogue, comedic storytelling, and candid reflections, making it a compelling episode for both regular listeners and newcomers to the "Bad Friends" podcast.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

I'm ready for my life to change.

[Andrew Santino]

ABC Sundays.

[Bobby Lee]

American Idol is all new. Give it your all. Good luck. Come out with a golden ticket. Let's hear it. This is immense world.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never seen anything like it.

[Bobby Lee]

And a new chapter begins. You're going to Hollywood. Carrie Underwood joins Lionel Richie, Luke Bryant and Ryan Seacrest on American Idol News Sundays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. Hey, everyone from Texas, Houston, specifically, I need you to buy tickets for my show on. What's it March 28th and 29th of this year. Go to houstonimprov.com buy the tickets or I'm gonna hurt myself. I'm gonna hurt myself. I might.

[Andrew Santino]

You two are bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something? We're bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Apparently. You guys were talking a lot of when I wasn't here. That's what I heard.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't know yourself.

[Andrew Santino]

I heard you guys talking a lot of. Well, I wasn't here. Not even here to defend myself. You guys are talking. It's interesting, huh? Because when people talk behind your back to me, I always defend you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I say, he's not here to defend himself. Don't say that stuff about him.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so funny because when I look in the mirror, I. I look at my characteristic defects as well. So I know what my problems are, you know. You don't know what your problems are.

[Andrew Santino]

I know what your problems are, for sure. I know what yours are. But whenever people talk about you and I hear it and I catch wind of it, I grab it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I know where you store it in your heart.

[Andrew Santino]

And I said, you talk about my dog, dude? And they go, oh, so sorry, man. And I defend.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I never talked about your dog. I mean, your wife. I don't know. I'm kidding. That's crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that your bit?

[Bobby Lee]

That was crazy. That was crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that your bit?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm sorry. I got defensive.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I apologize.

[Andrew Santino]

It's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

She's beautiful and I love her as a human.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it's whatever you want to do today, man. I heard that you had so much fun without me, you don't want me on the show anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you reminded?

[Andrew Santino]

That's what I heard.

[Bobby Lee]

I turned down a pod with some so and so. He got mad, by the way. Why he came up to me. The first thing out of his mind is like, hey, buddy, you don't want to pod with me. And I go, oh, no. What? Andrew's not there. It's weird, you know? I mean, didn't you do one with Stefano Call. I know, but it's like I've never. We don't have that kind of. And he was mad. Yeah, but I love him.

[Andrew Santino]

It doesn't seem like. It seemed like you would have done the pod with him if you loved him so much.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, most people, they'll go to the Salvation army, right, to get their T shirts. Not this guy. Kiss.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't know what kith is, man.

[Bobby Lee]

I've been into kith. Yeah, I've been to kith with you in New York.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, right. I did. I brought you along. That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Well, I want to see.

[Andrew Santino]

You're coming at me today.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not coming at you, dude. You're coming at yourself.

[Andrew Santino]

My KITH shirt.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're coming at yourself, dude. And that's the sad part.

[Andrew Santino]

How am I coming at myself?

[Bobby Lee]

You were like. Well, you guys were talking about me.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, I heard the grapevine. You guys now. Yeah, we can bring up the clips. We have them, dude, bring them up. Oh, the chair.

[Bobby Lee]

Why do you have that?

[Andrew Santino]

That's Andrew seat.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, it sucks. Oh, oh, push pause. No, no, no. I already know that. What I wanted to say after that.

[Andrew Santino]

I hope so. You just did the episode.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You did a bit about. I do. Did a bit about your little back.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What Andrew likes. Yeah. Anyway, you click, click, click.

[Andrew Santino]

Opens up his butt.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I know he has back. He has backaches. Oh, my God, his spinal disc. What a gay little boy. He's a gay disc. He has a little gay discs in his back. He's a gay. They're dismantled. What a crybaby, huh?

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting, Interesting. Yeah, keep going.

[Bobby Lee]

Toilet. Remember cry baby? How do you hit his head on the toilet? He got all woozy like.

[Dan Soder]

Woo.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm redheaded. I get wy. Wow, wow, wow. This is so good. Wait, what's my.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting. It's interesting, but also clever. Interesting, Interesting, interesting, interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

That was funny. I mean, it didn't make me laugh at all, but it was very funny.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, let's. All right, let's get it out. Let's get it out in the open.

[Andrew Santino]

I just said it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. So what I want to say is you've never talked about. About me.

[Andrew Santino]

Never. Do you have. Is it. First of all, no. And if I did, is it on tape?

[Bobby Lee]

No, but I've heard people say that you talk about me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What do I say?

[Bobby Lee]

I Don't remember. Really recall.

[Andrew Santino]

I feel like you'd remember.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you're right. I think.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, my bad. I got caught in a lie.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know what was with me that day, but you're grooving. I went. No, I wasn't grooving. I was out of bounds, out of pocket. And, you know, because you're such a big star. Yeah, right. I love when Carlos laughs at me because, you know, he gets my comedy.

[Andrew Santino]

Somebody gets your comedy.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. All right, here we go. Okay, Here we go. Yeah, let's not do this right now, dude. You know, I. I want to say to you this.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I heard you. I want to say absolutely destroyed in Phoenix.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Just.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, now let me say that roof off. I have to say, for Saturday night's second show was one of my best performances.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

But I also want to say this. Okay. That you have no idea how I feel about you.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, dude, let's move on.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no. Oh. When it's positive, you want to move on.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm over.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's get. No, I'm not over it. All right. I love you like your family, and with my family, you kind of do little dig digs right on the side. Yeah, yeah. Like, you don't visit when you go to their town.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That was a big point of contention. Two things. One, Yeah. I did say to Carlos. I made him do Simon says before the show because I think he was stoned. And I asked him, and he's trying to tell me he's not, but I looked into his eyes. You look into his eyes?

[Bobby Lee]

I wear contact. No, he's Carlos. It'd be. It would be better if you were honest. I didn't smoke weed today. I smoked last night.

[Andrew Santino]

Last night.

[Bobby Lee]

Weed. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So now we know. Now you're fully gone. Relapse. That's called California sober.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's not a real.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you can call it, but people say that all over the Internet.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's not real. That's like a fake.

[Bobby Lee]

I do meth, but I have. I'm Colorado sober.

[Andrew Santino]

It's Colorado sober.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the same thing. It doesn't make any sense. No, this is like, one in the lexicon. It was in White Lotus, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But it doesn't mean you should do it. I thought you were clean. Clean, clean. I thought we were all out when.

[Bobby Lee]

I saw him in the alleyway in Australia.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He had a glaze over his Eyes. I don't know what he was on.

[Andrew Santino]

What were you on in Australia? In the alley?

[Dan Soder]

Marijuana.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

And you lied to me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

You lied to me. You know what I did? You lied to me. No, I got you on a technicality. I went into the hotel and I said, bobby, I'm not drinking.

[Andrew Santino]

Why? What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Because I need something on this earth.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby doesn't need anything.

[Bobby Lee]

He should have something though.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he has lots of things.

[Bobby Lee]

I do agree. I should have something.

[Andrew Santino]

You have sugar free Red Bull and cigarettes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but sometimes I want more to drown my sorrows.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you want?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, sometimes I would love to smoke weed. You know what I mean? To zone out.

[Andrew Santino]

But you don't need to.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't need to. And I've been three years. I haven't.

[Andrew Santino]

So that's great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why, why would we crack it now?

[Bobby Lee]

Because my fear though is, is that once that door is open, I do all the other stuff and I can' have that. So I just decided to do all. I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Because what he's saying also can happen to you. You may decide. So what, dude? I'm. I'm going to be San Bernardino sober and just have one pill.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You do pills too?

[Andrew Santino]

You do do pills.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's so such a project projection to me. I prom only Xanax and Lex Pro, which.

[Andrew Santino]

Those are pills.

[Bobby Lee]

Those are called pills, dude. But you get them at Walgreens.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but they can prescribe any.

[Bobby Lee]

I do math. But I only smoke it.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

That's what it sounds like.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not cartel stuff, so it's good.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, well whatever. I. I'm just looking out for your well being.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'd rather you be clean as a whistle. Clear headed.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I'm just. I'm gonna sober Carlos. My history with Carlos is this. When I first met him, he was full, full blown in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[Andrew Santino]

It was great.

[Bobby Lee]

And anyone that's in aa, right, people aren't because they had like, you know, I mean, an accident. It takes a lot of pain and suffering to drive you into a 12 step group.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And to be committed to it. Right. So that's, you know your history with it, right? You know that you're an alcoholic and drug addict. Do you? Yeah. Okay, you have other addictions too, like sex labs too.

[Andrew Santino]

That's. That's not a pointing. It's not a. It's not appointing.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not arguing with you. This is like a tit for Tat. Bobby's being like, oh, I missed her sober, and I know everything.

[Dan Soder]

And.

[Bobby Lee]

But he's also really.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not true. He's not being. I know everything. Mr. Sober. He's just saying to. To get back on the right track and stay clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Have I done any drugs or alcohol since I got sober three years ago? No, but you've literally done them with me.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, but this.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, you see what he's doing? That's the drug addiction. Jedi.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you are Jedi.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're angling.

[Bobby Lee]

You're angling. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're trapping and angling. You're leading into a corner. You're trapped.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a rat trapped.

[Andrew Santino]

You're a rat trap.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're a rat trap. Like, rats should get in trouble for, like, having a little bit of che Cheese.

[Andrew Santino]

A rat as fat as you doesn't need any more cheese.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly. Anyway, let's move on.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's move on.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But had a great time in the city of Minnesota.

[Bobby Lee]

So Andrew did his special. He did four shows I did to cut it together. It's gonna be a wonderful piece of artwork.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I hope so. It was a really. It was a little bit of a challenge at the beginning, finding everything the way that I wanted to find it. And also, boy, oh, boy, was I upset at my team. Shane Gillis was in town. Kevin Hart was in town. I was like, what the.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I saw a photo with you.

[Andrew Santino]

And Shane Gilly played the Target center, where the Minnesota Timberwolves play. And Kevin played a big theater. Like, he did, like, four. The five theaters or something, all in Minneapolis that weekend.

[Bobby Lee]

But did you. Were your shows full?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Yeah, they sold out. But I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

What is. What's the problem?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, thank God Shane sells out same day. Because imagine if Shane was playing big theaters and he wasn't an act that could sell out an arena same day, then we would. We definitely share some audience. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Like, right, right.

[Andrew Santino]

Kevin and I, definitely. No crossover. We joked. We were like, kevin was. Shane goes. I guess you and I had to split all the whites in town. I was like, yeah, Kevin, there's no confidence.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But I mean, thank God Shane's so famous. He sold out the Target center the same day.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how famous he is. Like, we. I'm lucky we got around to it, but I think it's a bummer because ticket prices are so stupid now, and we can't control them anymore. It sucks. The promoters Ticketmaster, the venues. It's disgusting what they do now. And people can't go to both. People couldn't see me on Friday and see Shane on Saturday. There's no way they could afford that. I think it fucking sucks. So I wish. I wish they communicated to go, hey, this guy's in town shooting. Can we reserve this, you know, this weekend if we could skip it or come back to it.

[Bobby Lee]

You're complaining about something that didn't happen, though.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. I do think it affected the way that I moved at the end. Moved tickets at the end.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I see.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know what I mean? Like, it definitely changed people because people.

[Bobby Lee]

The first time I played the Philadelphia Helium.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I love that club.

[Bobby Lee]

I showed up at the club. I'm not kidding. It's not an exaggeration. I showed up at the first show on a Friday night. There was seven people.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? And I kind of looked around. I go, oh, I guess it's. I'm not big here, right? They're like, oh, no. It's just literally right across the street. Chappelle's there. And I go, oh, I got booked, right? And then the second show was full and. And half the audience was like, oh, we saw the Chappelle show earlier and we came to both.

[Andrew Santino]

That's pretty rad.

[Bobby Lee]

Still the first show, I was going to kill myself. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When you can't.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I understand what you're saying.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, when you're fighting. When you're fighting upstream because people can't see both. And he takes a lot. I mean, he's so famous. Shane's the best. He's the biggest. So it's, you know. Yeah, you can't fight that. But anyway, it was a good weekend in Minneapolis. I love. I love Minneapolis. Although I was scared to come home once again because of the flights, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

I had turbulence last night, but it's.

[Andrew Santino]

Getting out of control.

[Bobby Lee]

It is today. How many today? Another cash.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, dude. A Southwest plane almost hit a private jet today. Today. Today.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God, It.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at this. Near miss. It's landing or taken off. It's landing. And is that it?

[Bobby Lee]

The jets, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the jets right there. Look at that. It's landing and the jet is coming. And so he took off again.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Is it the. What do we call the people of the tower?

[Andrew Santino]

The fa. Well, no, the control tower. Yeah, the control tower.

[Bobby Lee]

Control tower, people.

[Andrew Santino]

Central tower, people.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Is it their fault? What is going on here?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know, man. Something's going on though. Like, do you not believe that could.

[Bobby Lee]

Have been a disaster, Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Everybody dead.

[Bobby Lee]

Everyone dead.

[Andrew Santino]

How is this not.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Do we work.

[Andrew Santino]

Something's going on. Can we make up a conspiracy, please? Did they fire all of the faa?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I have a conspiracy.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that real?

[Bobby Lee]

I have a conspiracy and I think it's connected. So hear me out. Guys. I heard your joke and I'm sorry. That didn't laugh.

[Andrew Santino]

It's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't like it. Just please. Okay. Your resentment right now is so evident. So it's like you're gaslighting me. You're trying to get me.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, we know you're not high now, Andrew.

[Bobby Lee]

Was that gaslighting?

[Andrew Santino]

No, there was no lighting. There.

[Bobby Lee]

There. There was. Thank you. There was no lighting from Andrew. My mistake. I. I thought I saw a little light. Yeah, there's no light. And if you saw when it was dim.

[Andrew Santino]

Sodi.

[Dan Soder]

Sodi.

[Bobby Lee]

Sit down, you dum dummy.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you're not a dumb, dumb dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he's one of the dumbest dude. He's one of the dumbest on earth.

[Andrew Santino]

You really think that? Yeah, he's one of the smartest dudes in. Com.

[Dan Soder]

No, no, you're right.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me finish this point and then we'll get to you.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Dan Soder. Love you.

[Dan Soder]

I love you too.

[Bobby Lee]

The last time we did a gig together, you weren't that nice to me.

[Dan Soder]

Bullshit. That is 100%.

[Bobby Lee]

But we're just no real this.

[Dan Soder]

Well, yeah, cuz it was two gigs. We hung out.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Where was it on the Burt tour?

[Bobby Lee]

On the Pert tour.

[Dan Soder]

So it's chaos. You're just in the middle.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but he. You know, I try to start conversations. There's no dick locking.

[Dan Soder]

No, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to dick lock.

[Dan Soder]

First off, I'll dock with you all day. He will go get foreskin put on my penis in order to dock. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? I believe you.

[Dan Soder]

Whatever the reverse.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me finish my theory here, Dan, and we'll get to you.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Anyway, this is good.

[Andrew Santino]

You're going to want to hear this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I think the reason why there's a connection between the flights, you know, men getting in these accidents, all the flight crash and the drones that we saw a month ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, the. The Chinese drones.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Wasn't there a lot of drones a couple of months ago?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Around. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

New Jersey.

[Bobby Lee]

New Jersey. It was. It was in California as well. It was everywhere.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. There. Could there be a link there, you think?

[Andrew Santino]

Something in Alien airspace. Something UFO airspace? What, what, what? What could it be?

[Dan Soder]

Are you thinking like the drones are causing the accidents?

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe there's a connection is all I'm saying.

[Dan Soder]

I like that you're saying it like a CIA guy. Where you go, there could be a connection. Yeah, I'm not saying affirmative. I'm not saying negative.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you ever see Zero Dark Thirty, brother?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you seen Zero Dark? Yeah, I haven't. You haven't?

[Dan Soder]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

There's another documentary called Manhunt.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well, guess who caught who did they track? Let me ask you. Who do they track to get to Osama bin Laden? Exactly. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

The courier, the mail delivery guy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he used one guy for information. So there was one guy they would drive to his.

[Andrew Santino]

Abu Ahmed al Kuwait.

[Bobby Lee]

Abu. Ah, right, that dude, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Is that Amir?

[Bobby Lee]

K. It is Amir. You know what I mean? And now he's doing stand up and he's very successful. You know what I mean?

[Dan Soder]

What a second act.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[Dan Soder]

Just being a hilarious stand up comic.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You know, he's the courier for Osama bin Laden.

[Bobby Lee]

In a movie, I would cast Michael pena.

[Andrew Santino]

I think 100% looks like Michael.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. And not Amir. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it'd be Michael Pena.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I think there. So in the. One lady in the CIA was like, we. I think we should track the courier. And everyone was like, no, no, no, no, no. Right. But that ended up being the truth.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And she didn't even really know what the connection was, but she followed a gun instinct. I think that's what I'm doing with the fucking drones.

[Andrew Santino]

So your instinct is that the drones are making the planes crash?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know exactly the connection between them, but there's a gut instinct there.

[Dan Soder]

You just feel like it is. I feel like, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I feel like it is.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What's your theory, Sodor?

[Dan Soder]

I don't know. These plane crashes are crazy. How many are happening? There was also an avoided one. Did you guys see the one?

[Andrew Santino]

We just talked.

[Bobby Lee]

We just talked about that. Just now that I have.

[Dan Soder]

Whenever something like this happens, I immediately empathize with the other plane. Just like remember when the bridge in Baltimore, the boat drove into the bridge. Dude, just this moment of like.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. I don't know anything about it. Please explain to me that catastrophe.

[Dan Soder]

There was a boat that like, it was like one of those short stack boats. Almost like. You can bring it up.

[Bobby Lee]

I want. I want the clinical version of the boat because I don't get shorts.

[Dan Soder]

I don't even know what that means. I made that up.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. See, it's like a ferry, a freight, a freighter boat.

[Dan Soder]

Freighter boat ran into a bridge.

[Bobby Lee]

Dark Knight, they had those in the Dark Knight.

[Andrew Santino]

A dark night boat.

[Bobby Lee]

I call it a dark night boat.

[Dan Soder]

In the biz, we call it a dark.

[Bobby Lee]

Because remember the. In the Dark, the first Batman movie? Wasn't there like a thing where he first goes, I'm Batman? Which is a dead on impression.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it was perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think really good. Christian Bale was.

[Andrew Santino]

These are called container ships.

[Bobby Lee]

Container ship.

[Dan Soder]

But doesn't that sound more made up than short stack container? I know it sounds like mine was completely made up.

[Andrew Santino]

Short stack sounds great. That's a short stack.

[Bobby Lee]

I call Brad Williams short stack. Right. So that's my nickname for him. But my point is, is that. So what happened here?

[Dan Soder]

So this. This like this boat went into the bridge. You see it at night. It like, shuts the lights off and.

[Bobby Lee]

It fucks it up with the people on the road.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know. I don't know if anyone died in that.

[Andrew Santino]

No, people did die. A few people did die.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the cars. Yeah, a few people are on. No one on the boat died. And all the containers were safe, by the way.

[Dan Soder]

But everyone likes to go like, oh, terrorists, this was a terrorist attack or whatever. But just like the small jet that almost got hit this time. Just like a guy being an idiot, fucking being like, fuck, fuck, fuck, dude. Is that. Is that fucking plane about to take off? It's like coming down and you're like a. And someone's just yelling your name in your ear, going like, bobby, Bobby, I.

[Bobby Lee]

I've said that when I was entering a woman's vagina.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's a. Yeah, no, but no.

[Bobby Lee]

In a panic like that. Like, I shouldn't be doing it. Oh, right. You know. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then somebody dies.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Have you ever had sex with somebody you didn't want to have sex with?

[Dan Soder]

I don't know how to answer that. You mean, like, just like I, like I wasn't physically attracted to or that.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but you just knew that they were a little cray cray. You know, sometime, brother, you're like, what's gonna happen once I enter this?

[Dan Soder]

That's my early 20s, brother.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know if you've ever been to Tucson, Arizona.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, brother, bro. Tell me about it, bro.

[Dan Soder]

I was living it.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you have any. Did you have any double xl? Do you ever go down that road? Anybody heavy?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I like a Larger lady.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, double xl.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, no. Like vastly outweighing.

[Bobby Lee]

So. Yeah. So I have a way. And I'm not lying. I had sex with one time, many, many years ago with a 400 pound woman.

[Dan Soder]

That is, that's not. I don't think that's physically possible.

[Bobby Lee]

It happened in Phoenix, 20 years ago.

[Dan Soder]

Did they have to lower.

[Bobby Lee]

Your brother hooked it up.

[Dan Soder]

Did they have to lower you down into her?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know if it's a hookup.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, yeah, it's a hook down.

[Andrew Santino]

Hook down.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

But she goes, it was like a medical procedure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I'm gonna lay on my back, then you're gonna enter me.

[Bobby Lee]

And I. I did it though, like a soldier.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You went through with it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Because sometimes, you know your nom, Right. You're in Hamburger Hill.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You really get it right going through it.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And your sergeant goes, we gotta take over this hill.

[Andrew Santino]

And you're up first.

[Bobby Lee]

And you. Yeah. And you don't want to, but you end up up there anyway. And you get friends slaughtered and whatnot. Are you still fighting for your life?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Black Hawk Down. Black Hawk Down.

[Andrew Santino]

Say it's so Asian. Black Hawk Down.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Black Caught Down.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I recently saw the Netflix documentary on it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I rewatched the movie.

[Dan Soder]

Are you getting like third hand PTSD from these movies?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You're coming back.

[Bobby Lee]

So anyway. Oh, yeah. So that's what I did with this lady.

[Dan Soder]

How was it?

[Andrew Santino]

400, pretty big.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, you did have sex with a waterbed.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Well, at that. See, the thing is, at that time, this is pre mad tv.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, before you got on.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So before I got on.

[Dan Soder]

Let me tell you, she liked you.

[Andrew Santino]

For who you really were.

[Dan Soder]

Through.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Well, she saw me MC the Improv in Tempe.

[Dan Soder]

She's eating a bucket of chicken, a nice Saturday night special, and a bad TV comes on. And she goes, yeah, my little lover. My little.

[Andrew Santino]

I used to fuck that.

[Dan Soder]

My little spelunker.

[Bobby Lee]

But here's the sad part of the story. And I feel so bad about it. I think about it all the time. And I feel so bad about it. Nick, nicotine pouches.

[Andrew Santino]

You heard us talking about Nick before, Right Here, baby. Take taking nicotine pouches. The next level. These are the pouches that we be using over here. At bad.

[Bobby Lee]

We be using all day, every day.

[Andrew Santino]

They got citrus, iceberry, lemon ice, spearmint and winter, Winter green.

[Bobby Lee]

They do have wintergreen. They also have strawberry, watermelon, ice, baby.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a step above any other pouch because they use the best ingredients for a cleaner, more refined experience. And we're refined.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we are. And if you're on a journey to quit, Nicotine Nicked gives you full control of your experience. They're even launching a new zero milligram option soon, helping you gradually reduce your nicotine uses at your pace.

[Andrew Santino]

That's pretty great. If you're trying to kick chewing tobacco, traditional smoking products, or vapes, nicked flavors hit just right. Okay, some of these pouches that we've got here right in front of you, very, very good crisp mint. By the way, the tropical ice is probably the most favorite. Everyone wants to grab one of those when they come through the studio. So it's time to upgrade to nicked nicotine pouches, just like we did right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Our listens get 35% off when you order our exclusive URL nickedpouches.com badfriend that's.

[Andrew Santino]

N y k d pouches.com badfriends and you can use this code up to three times. Don't wait. Get 35% off now at nykdpouches.com badfriends and check out the Bad Friends bundle with our favorite flavors.

[Bobby Lee]

That's nicked pouches.com bad friends Nick Pouches.

[Andrew Santino]

Are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine nicotine as an addictive chemical. DraftKings sportsbook hey, when it comes to college basketball and March mania, one thing is for sure. Nothing is for sure. That's right. Upsets, buzzer beaters. Cinderella's advancing, going to the dance, top seeds going home early. It's all going to happen. You're going to see it. We've already seen some top teams get knocked off in the last couple of nights. Some upsets. It's been tough and rough for some of us. You can bet on the unexpected. That's for sure. Every day. You can do this with DraftKings sportsbook. With live betting, exclusive content, promos and parlays, DraftKings is the ultimate college basketball destination for March 1st time. Here's something special just for you. New DraftKings customers. Bet five bucks. You can bet just five bucks to get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Come on, friends. Look, my old man with the University of Tennessee. They are humming along this year. I got a couple of shekels on University of Tennessee. I'm not saying you should do that. I'm saying that's what I'm doing. Not telling you how to bet. Just telling you where I'll be putting my bets. Bet the unexpected with DraftKings Sportsbook. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use Code Bad Friends. That's Code Bad Friends for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets. When you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings, the crown is yours. Gambling Problem Call 1-800-Gambler In New York, call 877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY 467-369 In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boudill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void. In Ontario, new customers only. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms Responsible Gaming resources, see DKNG co Audio.

[Bobby Lee]

Are your ulcerative colitis symptoms proving difficult to manage? Tremphya Guselkumab can help you manage the cycle of UC symptoms.

[Andrew Santino]

At one year, many patients taking Tremphya.

[Bobby Lee]

Achieved clinical remission and some patients also achieved endoscopic remission. Individual results may vary. Tremphya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb.

[Dan Soder]

Tell your doctor if you have an.

[Bobby Lee]

Infection, flu like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. Ask your doctor if Tremphaya can help.

[Andrew Santino]

You manage the cycle of UC symptoms.

[Bobby Lee]

Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit tremphiradio.com and I've never shared it on group level. I don't even know if I should go on, but I'm going to do it anyway. So years later when I was kind, I got on Matt this and that. I redid the room, I think as I was featuring for someone big, you know what I mean? And I don't know why, but I was walking. You know when they bring you up, I was walking toward the stage. Somebody grabbed my jacket or my shirt, long shoes, shirt. And I look over and it's her. No, I just see this fat hand on my.

[Dan Soder]

How strong was that grip? How strong was that grip? It was like a gorilla grabbed you.

[Bobby Lee]

Or walrus, where you go flipper. It was a walrus. Flipper.

[Dan Soder]

You know when animal trainers realize that it's out of control. Yeah, dude, like Bobby gave one of those where he goes give it back. Okay, okay, we're not playing anymore.

[Andrew Santino]

Kiko, stop. Kiko, stop.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it was more like a leper grabbing you. Back in the day, you were like, I did this. I went. I pulled it away like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then after my set, I ran down out so she couldn't grab me.

[Dan Soder]

Damn.

[Bobby Lee]

And I stayed in the green room so I wouldn't run into. I feel so bad about it.

[Andrew Santino]

She was clawing at the door.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You hear it? Like a dog on a. Smelling you under the door.

[Bobby Lee]

What's your fat as you think?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, Jesus. I don't know. You know, I'm over 200, so I would imagine probably over that.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you.

[Dan Soder]

What do you hover at to walk around at 215?

[Andrew Santino]

Do you really?

[Dan Soder]

I would like to be 210.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you, 6, 3?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's good.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. But nothing extreme.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You've never. Have you ever been, like, embarrassed when you step on the scale? Have you ever been like, Jesus Dan?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, what was it?

[Andrew Santino]

What was The Jesus Dan?

[Dan Soder]

2:40.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Dan Soder]

And it was just like, after a breakup and it was just sweet season. I just quit drinking.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I quit drinking like a couple years before. And then he was just, like, eating everything.

[Andrew Santino]

Sweet seasons. Do you never had a sweet season when you quit doing drugs and alcohol? You're not really a sweets guy. You like. What is it? Savory over sweet, right?

[Bobby Lee]

That's interesting that you say that, because you're absolutely wrong.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. You'd eat a lot of sweets.

[Bobby Lee]

Whenever we get to, I hide it. You do?

[Dan Soder]

Secret sweetie pie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I do. I have a drawer in my bedroom with gummy colas.

[Dan Soder]

Great, right?

[Andrew Santino]

I've never seen you be a sweets boy.

[Bobby Lee]

And then I have bags of these, like, candies with, like, salt in. In it. In the middle of it.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, so it's sweet and savory.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, right. You know what?

[Dan Soder]

You're a little. You're. You're candy.

[Bobby Lee]

The Mexican. Like when they use the mango and they put that stuff up. What's it called?

[Andrew Santino]

What are you talking about?

[Dan Soder]

Baby Bobby's. Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you're talking about.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Yeah. There's a tain in the middle.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. So it's got a little spice.

[Andrew Santino]

A little bit of spice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, it's funny, dude, because whenever we go eat, you, you like the savory stuff. And then when we get dessert, you'll take a bite. But. But you're not, like, a reason why.

[Bobby Lee]

I take a bite. I have bites at home.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you do.

[Bobby Lee]

In the hotel room.

[Dan Soder]

You're goddamn right.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you fucking know?

[Andrew Santino]

Are you a secret?

[Dan Soder]

Sweetie, I'm. I'm out in the open with it. Yeah, brother. I live it. It's Easter season, so I'm in. I'm in knee deep in the shit. They're doing jelly beans. I just picked up two bags of jelly beans. Didn't even mean to.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

Because you got Jolly Rancher. It's Easter season, so everyone's doing their, like their jelly bean. I got Jolly Rancher and airhead jelly beans.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm a savory guy, dude. Late night. I want.

[Bobby Lee]

I know that about.

[Andrew Santino]

I want a food. Food.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Because you drink, you're getting all your sugar through the booze. When you cut it, that's when you want.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what it is.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I didn't give it. I didn't give a shit about sweets when I drank.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, I still like having a little bit of sweet tooth thing. When we gotta go out to eat. I always have a little bit of dessert.

[Dan Soder]

Took down a mini bag of Cadbury eggs.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad boy, dude.

[Dan Soder]

Just fucking landed. And thought, why not?

[Bobby Lee]

I want to say something to you. I've always thought this and I don't want to be rude.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Erica and I want to cause any friction.

[Dan Soder]

I think it's going to do both.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I don't think so.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I'm being very mindful about it, but it's observation that I've had over the years. I've never been brave enough to tell you, but you're one of those comics, like, if you didn't do comedy, I just don't know.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, what I do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You know what you. I have a prediction what you would have been doing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So you know, you go to Soho and they have those boutique shops. It's always some sort of arbitrary, like, name, like F, Z, Z, N Y. I love fcz.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's go into the Zazani or whatever. Right? And then you go in there and there's like this guy. He looks like a John Wick villain. He's got a black overcoat. Oh, yeah, right. And just like tattoos on the neck.

[Andrew Santino]

Eyeliner.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

A lot of jewelry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't know how much they make. Probably not good.

[Andrew Santino]

Who cares?

[Bobby Lee]

Who cares? That's what you'd be doing.

[Dan Soder]

I can't think of something that is more opposite of who I am as a human being.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm saying you are like it.

[Dan Soder]

I've never seen just an insane miss like that. That is. You have, you know, you have zero working knowledge of me as a human being.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Dan Soder]

If you think I'm anywhere close. I have dressed the same, like I'm moving, since I was 12 years old.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I understand.

[Dan Soder]

I don't understand what I'm saying to you.

[Andrew Santino]

Dan, he's a labor bitch.

[Dan Soder]

I would never wear rings. I can't wear a watch.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he's a laborator.

[Dan Soder]

I have a thin wrist.

[Bobby Lee]

This is information I was not privy to.

[Dan Soder]

Well, guess what, brother? Before you diagnose, take a look at the X ray, because I'm sitting right here.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a kind of doctor where. I don't look at that.

[Dan Soder]

You come in, you go, I'm a diagnoser. You go, it's cancer. And they go, is it? And you go, could be, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It could be all like, this could be.

[Andrew Santino]

Dr. Lee, this is a dentist's office. He's got stomach cancer. I can tell.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

Soda, I think, would be.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you. Here we go.

[Andrew Santino]

You'd be a laborer of some kind. I could see you.

[Dan Soder]

I would be getting in trouble for being funny, Correct.

[Andrew Santino]

On a site. On a job site somewhere where I'd.

[Dan Soder]

Have to be somewhat serious. I would be getting in trouble for.

[Andrew Santino]

I could see you getting tied up with Ringling Brothers and you assembling part of the tents and also announcing stuff.

[Dan Soder]

I. Honestly, that's way close. You put me on the mic for the fucking Flying Giuseppe's or whoever.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Whoever's in sequins doing flips in the air. And I get to build a tent.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He killed it.

[Dan Soder]

And then I make a mistake, and then a couple families, and then it's.

[Andrew Santino]

Back to the railroads.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, you're. You're. You're. But you know him.

[Dan Soder]

I got my four roses, you know, My little flask of whiskey in my traveling jacket.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I have another observation. I'm so sorry.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, you and your dad are best.

[Bobby Lee]

That was very good. That's very good, what you said.

[Andrew Santino]

I just. I know.

[Bobby Lee]

So he also seems like this guy, right? Well, you meet a girl.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

A beautiful girl, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And you go, hey, you want to go on that? She goes, I have a boyfriend. Right. And then when you actually meet, it's like, him.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I'm like, what the fuck are you dating this guy for?

[Dan Soder]

That's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Am I right?

[Dan Soder]

Warm?

[Bobby Lee]

Am I getting warm?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, very warm.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I understand it now.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you have a girlfriend, a wife.

[Dan Soder]

I have a Fiance.

[Bobby Lee]

Fiance. Yeah, I understand it now. Like, I understand Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis with his girl.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The influencer lady.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Would have never made sense in any other scenario.

[Dan Soder]

Besides. What?

[Bobby Lee]

Besides famous comic influencer?

[Dan Soder]

I don't think so.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't know.

[Dan Soder]

You underestimate Shane. Yeah, I knew him before. I knew.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so he was deep in hot chicks before.

[Dan Soder]

Before he got bit by the radioactive spider and he became Shane Mann.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

He. He's. Dude, he's charming. He's low key. He's low key. A cutie pie.

[Andrew Santino]

You're missing.

[Bobby Lee]

Everybody needs fame.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. Okay, how about this?

[Bobby Lee]

You're.

[Andrew Santino]

You're. You're missing a few key points, by the way. You go to the Midwest. You go to the Midwest, you see beautiful women with big guys. Guys.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like in Canada.

[Dan Soder]

And I'll tell you right now, I used to go with Shane. Shane used to go on the road with me and feature for me. And when we would go to, like, Boston or something like that, boy would. We were both single. Boy would clean up.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because the ladies would be like, oh, I want me a pale daddy.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

And he'd be like, shut up, you're gay. And they'd be like, oh, right. I need them freckles.

[Bobby Lee]

He looks like a white guy that's been in water like a dead corpse.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

Are you calling him bloated?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying the eyes bulge like it's been like in a swamp.

[Andrew Santino]

I gotta tell you something right now.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

He's gonna come get you.

[Dan Soder]

You don't want that.

[Andrew Santino]

You want to start this war.

[Dan Soder]

Dude, you are calling on. You're yelling at.

[Bobby Lee]

A cloud picks me up.

[Dan Soder]

You're yelling at the little boy.

[Bobby Lee]

And I like it. And we have that relationship. Right. I'm not. You know, Shane, if you're listening right now or if you get this clip, he will. I'm just. I give you props all day long. You're one of the funniest comics on planet Earth. Right. You're the king.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And you deserve all your success. That's not what I'm saying. But you say you have, like, you know, like, you know, in Lord of the Rings, like, maybe the second or third movie, Right. Remember the Frodo and those guys went to the swamp.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And Gollum's like, don't look in the water.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's in the water?

[Bobby Lee]

These dead elves from, like thousands of years ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I mean, that's all I'm saying just.

[Dan Soder]

Don'T look in the water.

[Andrew Santino]

Starting a war.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'm not starting a. Anyway, I didn't mean in a bad way. Let's. Anyway, so.

[Dan Soder]

Whole store is just crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Whenever I go to those stores, I look at the guy and I go others down. Version of Dan saga.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what you think.

[Dan Soder]

Damn.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you doing? Why can you back me once?

[Dan Soder]

Because I think you're insanely.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you're up.

[Andrew Santino]

You're out of bounds.

[Dan Soder]

Don't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm sorry.

[Dan Soder]

Don't do that. I'm over here saving you for a war.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm tired of being bullied by people like you.

[Dan Soder]

I'm saving you from a war.

[Bobby Lee]

I tried to befriend you at the tour.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

See what he's doing?

[Dan Soder]

I see it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm tired of being bullied by you. After you just went after him and then Shane Gills. You're.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Santino]

You're. You're bullied.

[Bobby Lee]

You're fascinated.

[Andrew Santino]

You're 100% bullied.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm being honest.

[Andrew Santino]

You're mad that the Soho thing didn't land, and then you bullied Shane Gillis.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You went after my friend.

[Andrew Santino]

You're the bully, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, the next time I say a thing, disagree with me.

[Dan Soder]

Okay, you know what?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's the new rule.

[Dan Soder]

Let's both be Bobby. I'm down, but yeah. Let's make this cool on all of us.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Dan Soder]

Trying to negotiate. We're all gonna be cool.

[Andrew Santino]

We're gonna be cool.

[Dan Soder]

We're all gonna be cool. We're gonna make a point. We can.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Point we can all agree on. Ready?

[Bobby Lee]

You think everything you say I agree with. No, I always laugh and I always agree.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

That's what friendship is all about. All right. I know your diabolical east coast way of thinking. What?

[Andrew Santino]

Can I say something? I know.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

Something happened on the Bert tour between you guys that's unresolved.

[Dan Soder]

No, we have fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Was it when I hurt my lip?

[Dan Soder]

You hurt your lip, but you were gone.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how.

[Bobby Lee]

But were you there?

[Dan Soder]

I'm one of the only people that texted you when you called me with Ralph Barbosa, I picked up and I said I was one of the only people that texted you.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You busted your lip.

[Dan Soder]

And on the tour bus.

[Bobby Lee]

On the tour bus. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

We were on our way to Florida.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And we were in Florida.

[Bobby Lee]

I feel like you were, like, one of the last people attacks. I Think that's what it was.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, okay. I would honestly check the receipt.

[Bobby Lee]

I think now I'm just testing you. You're supposed to agree with me. I thought the rule was I was testing him. He doesn't follow the rules.

[Dan Soder]

Bobby, look at me. I'm sorry. That was on me.

[Bobby Lee]

There we go. It's easy as that.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me something to agree.

[Dan Soder]

We're back in, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Dax Flame definitely has a bigger penis than you.

[Andrew Santino]

Than me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that.

[Bobby Lee]

See?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it true?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Dan Soder]

You know what? I don't. I don't care. Because that kind of loyalty.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's where it is.

[Dan Soder]

Fuck the truth. I'd rather have that.

[Andrew Santino]

There it is.

[Bobby Lee]

That's. I want you to be loyal.

[Dan Soder]

Got it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Done.

[Bobby Lee]

And I will agree with everything you say. Say something that I might not agree with, but I'll agree with it.

[Dan Soder]

Honestly, I think gummy sodas kind of suck.

[Bobby Lee]

I agree. And whenever I'm eating them, I don't even understand why it's in my mouth. Do you understand how easy that is?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Throw it back to me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like a.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no.

[Dan Soder]

Let him go.

[Bobby Lee]

You look like a fluffer in gay porn.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, Absolutely. Strong jaw, looking like I'm just getting big gay rods. Called a stiff.

[Bobby Lee]

It's called. Right. Adding information and agreeing in Esrov.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

And now do one back to him.

[Dan Soder]

I'm just gonna say it right now. It shouldn't be illegal to eat a homeless person's ass.

[Bobby Lee]

It should not be.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I went for a nighttime walk. I go for a nighttime walk a lot. And I go for a nighttime walk in the same little stretch of area by my neighborhood. And this homeless guy must have heard me, like, talking on the phone, and he yelled out, I live here. And I felt bad. I was like, sorry.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So I said, sorry.

[Dan Soder]

Where does he stay? Like, there's.

[Andrew Santino]

So, like, by the LA River. There's, like, a walking path and people. There's, like, tents that are up underneath, tucked under. You can't see them.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And. But he's right. He does live there. I was talking loud.

[Bobby Lee]

He does live there.

[Dan Soder]

The thought of.

[Andrew Santino]

And I apologized.

[Dan Soder]

The thought of him in makeshift reading glasses reading the back of a label and him going, will you shut the fuck up? Yeah, I'm reading.

[Andrew Santino]

He's mixing chemicals.

[Dan Soder]

I live here. I'm trying to make a new form of hooch.

[Bobby Lee]

He's reading Dostoevsky.

[Dan Soder]

He's like, anyway, it was Coldikov. Really didn't have to murder that he.

[Andrew Santino]

Did call the cops and get him removed.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Gotta clean up the streets.

[Dan Soder]

Nice.

[Andrew Santino]

Can't put up with that, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Now, how do you feel about the homeless? How do I feel about genuine European?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, he doesn't see them now in New York. They're all hibernating.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. They're all in the. They're all in the tunnel.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Where do they go in the tunnels?

[Dan Soder]

Honestly, you don't know? It's just like. It's like a crisp. It's like a crisp fall day and then they're just. Where are they? And then it gets hot and then you're like, oh, I can't walk my.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe they're frozen and they thaw.

[Dan Soder]

That might be. You go. Seasons are changing. They're start.

[Bobby Lee]

Help me. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Reanimate.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then now it's March.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do the position. Yeah, March. Yeah, exactly. I live here. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You just did the dethawing of a homeless man. Perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

And that's Comedy 101. That's called a call.

[Dan Soder]

And that's what we do here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And that's how talented he is, by the way.

[Andrew Santino]

That's. That's this Encino Man. We just did the movie and.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't, don't, don't. Please don't do that.

[Dan Soder]

Everything's fitted for a reboot right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Dan Soder]

Honestly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Tell me Bobby Lee and the Brendan Fraser role. You would be.

[Andrew Santino]

You great Encino Man.

[Dan Soder]

You as the new weasel.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, let's go this. Okay. Let's talk about what they should remake.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

We talk about what movies they should.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm going to go down the same line of where we already are. One of my favorite movies. That's underrated Airheads. I fucking would love a new Airhead.

[Dan Soder]

But how do you do airheads? Radio doesn't matter matter anymore.

[Andrew Santino]

Podcasts.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, they like. They, like, take over.

[Bobby Lee]

I never saw. I never saw Airheads.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, you would love it. Brendan Frazier. You got Adam Sandler.

[Andrew Santino]

Sandler, dude.

[Dan Soder]

Buscemi.

[Andrew Santino]

So these three guys are like, they're. They're a shitty band and they badly want to get on the. On the radio back when, like, if you got your record played once, it was like you were home free on a radio.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And they decide they're gonna hijack a local radio station because they just can't get any radio play. And it's basically Die Hard at a radio station.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

It's.

[Dan Soder]

But they're the bad guys. The good guys are the bad guys. They're like, IDIO they take over the.

[Andrew Santino]

Radio, but you root for them because they're so downtrodden.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's remake Airheads.

[Andrew Santino]

This is. By the way, Soder is obviously Frazier. You're the tallest. I'm Sandler, and you're Bushemi.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, let's do it.

[Bobby Lee]

What about remaking Gremlins?

[Dan Soder]

Love it. One. Or how about one and two? Let's give me the whole franchise.

[Andrew Santino]

Start with one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, let's start with one.

[Andrew Santino]

Start.

[Dan Soder]

If anybody wants to tell you right now, I'm so.

[Bobby Lee]

And I want to be. I want to. I want to be a mogwai.

[Andrew Santino]

You are a fucking mogwai.

[Dan Soder]

Honestly, if they ever do a reboot and you're not voicing the mogwai.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Someone's missing big.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to be.

[Dan Soder]

Put fur.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

On me.

[Bobby Lee]

What about Goonies?

[Dan Soder]

No, I can't touch that.

[Andrew Santino]

Can't.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't touch it.

[Dan Soder]

It's pitch perfect.

[Andrew Santino]

It's also because that childhood fantasy of, like, neighborhood play. I don't even know if people do that. I don't know if kids do that, like, go to the.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a good point. That's a good point.

[Andrew Santino]

Do kids get in trouble?

[Dan Soder]

Did you see the lady in Georgia that got arrested because her son walked, like, half a mile to a store?

[Bobby Lee]

I remember. Yeah, I saw.

[Andrew Santino]

Insane.

[Bobby Lee]

Insane.

[Dan Soder]

10 years old.

[Bobby Lee]

She was charged, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

A child endangerment.

[Bobby Lee]

That's. Yeah. The kids wouldn't do it, so that's why it wouldn't make any sense. They call it amazing.

[Dan Soder]

They call that free range parenting. Now, what. When you just let your kid be a kid when you're not helicoptering anymore, now it's called free range.

[Bobby Lee]

I ran away from home for a week. I'm not kidding you. My parents didn't go to the co ops.

[Andrew Santino]

Why would that.

[Dan Soder]

Because they just knew you were going to come back.

[Bobby Lee]

I came in the house after a week. My dad goes, hello. And I go, all right.

[Dan Soder]

That's the reception.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it is funny that, like, it was such a. Not big. There were kids that I knew growing up whose parents were real, real, like, loosey goosey, you know?

[Dan Soder]

I had a friend that didn't have to check in with his parents to sleep over.

[Andrew Santino]

Just could just do it.

[Dan Soder]

He could. He could. He could turn the key and launch it himself.

[Andrew Santino]

So you go.

[Dan Soder]

You want to sleep over? He goes, yeah. You're gonna call her?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, for. I don't want to bug him.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I don't know. I think they. They probably.

[Andrew Santino]

You know where she is? She's at the casino.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, she's up in Blackhawk. Can I say this is a controversial say. I want to think. I want to say let her rip is. I feel like the bullying that I received was necessary.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

When you were a kid.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Put your head in this toilet, you're not going to be able to breathe for two.

[Andrew Santino]

You never got a swirly in real life.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

You never got a swirl.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. I was locked, like, old school. I was locked in a locker for four hours.

[Dan Soder]

No way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. What was half locker so I had to crouch. It was insane.

[Dan Soder]

What grade?

[Andrew Santino]

Ninth.

[Bobby Lee]

No, even younger. Like, probably second grade or third grade.

[Andrew Santino]

Freshman year sounds like exactly what happened.

[Bobby Lee]

And I. I definitely heard teachers walk and I was screaming and they didn't even help me.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you hear tears, like, is Bobby Lee in there? That's so funny.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Go to lounge. Go to lounge.

[Bobby Lee]

Go. I just feel like that sort of like, made me strong enough to do comedy almost.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, absolutely. Do you know there's kids that are like, they're giving Ozempic to, like, fat kids now and you're like, no, no, you're going to. You're not going to have funny people when you grow.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Let them level out.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

Let them be fat and weird and awkward. Let everyone. Gillis, dude, you want that?

[Andrew Santino]

Doing it again. I don't know why you're doing.

[Dan Soder]

Honestly, I'm trying to agree.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? You know what? I'm trying to bring down the king.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'm willing to do it.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, it's hard to bring down the king when you're a rook.

[Dan Soder]

Damn. Did you just write that? Yeah, just write that.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you, dog.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. And I'll be honest with you.

[Dan Soder]

Just spit that off the top of your head.

[Bobby Lee]

The last gig that he. Did you do the show?

[Andrew Santino]

The last gig, The Wiltern one with.

[Bobby Lee]

Bill Burr and Shane Gillis.

[Andrew Santino]

I did that show. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I wasn't asked.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh. They told me why they didn't ask. Because it was a strict timeline they had to keep and they were like, bob, Will, Bobby on time to sing. I said, no, no chance.

[Dan Soder]

Damn.

[Bobby Lee]

That hurts me so bad, dude. That you wouldn't. That's really hurtful.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not true. They didn't. They didn't ask what?

[Bobby Lee]

He wouldn't. They would never ask me, is my point.

[Andrew Santino]

This is.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not. Fuck you.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Welcome to the show and thanks for doing it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm in a mood. I'm sorry.

[Dan Soder]

And honestly, I love it. It's like holding a kid cat with its claws out.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Dan Soder]

So sweet.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good, that's good.

[Dan Soder]

Trying to keep you away from the problem areas.

[Bobby Lee]

That's. Oh yeah, that's good. That's good, that's good. I have a problems with some other kings here, man. If we're doing this, let's go ahead.

[Dan Soder]

D.L. hughley, Steve Harvey.

[Bobby Lee]

I have problems. I have problems with them as well.

[Andrew Santino]

And rest in peace, Bernie Mack, the king of all kings.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the true king.

[Dan Soder]

The true king of kings.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? Who has Bulgari is like somebody else we know.

[Dan Soder]

What are you doing, bro?

[Andrew Santino]

Who are you talking about?

[Dan Soder]

I'm telling you, we hold council with the man, okay? And you're coming and you're going to. You're going to get. You're going to.

[Bobby Lee]

Sometimes Slovenia needs to have start a war with the United States.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, they don't.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't.

[Andrew Santino]

Terrible fucking idea.

[Dan Soder]

Something you say coming out of a nap.

[Bobby Lee]

Shopify. Guess what?

[Andrew Santino]

Guess what I get.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, what?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Sometimes it's a knock knock and I say knock knock, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I'll tell you, we have the best online business because we use Shopify.

[Andrew Santino]

That's exactly right. Right. Shopify is home with the number one checkout on the planet. And by the way, when you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like aloe or allbirds or skims, sure, you think that's a great product, a cool brand, brilliant marketing, yada yada yada. But often overlooked. The secret is actually the businesses behind the business. Making selling for shoppers and buying very simple for millions of businesses. That business is Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

Nobody does selling better than Shopify. I'm telling you right now. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret it with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%.

[Andrew Santino]

That is so much. That means way less carts are going to go abandoned and way more sales going checking through the roof.

[Bobby Lee]

Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as all birds or aloe uses.

[Andrew Santino]

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com bad friends. That's all lowercase.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to shopify.com lowercase bad friends to upgrade your selling today.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with.

[Andrew Santino]

A message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just 15amonth. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments.

[Dan Soder]

But that's weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Bobby Lee]

Of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent.

[Andrew Santino]

To 15 per month required intro rate.

[Bobby Lee]

First 3 months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] that's not something you should.

[Dan Soder]

You're right.

[Bobby Lee]

You're right.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. Whose do you want to throw a stone at? I'm curious now.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You said you wanted another case. Another.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay. I'll throw this out. Billy Burr. Wow. Yeah. He goes his way of saying he's like, he'll call me kiddo. Right?

[Dan Soder]

Does he rub your head?

[Andrew Santino]

You guys are the same age.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. And he doesn't really, you know, I mean, talk to me that much.

[Dan Soder]

Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He doesn't talk to anybody that much. Bill is a very quiet.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like that.

[Andrew Santino]

You wanted him to be more chatty.

[Bobby Lee]

More chatty?

[Andrew Santino]

Bill Burr to be more chatty.

[Bobby Lee]

I've. I love him.

[Andrew Santino]

He loves you, too.

[Bobby Lee]

We've worked together many times.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, let's move on.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Shots are fired.

[Bobby Lee]

Shots are not fired.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Dan Soder]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Because I said that Shane Gillis is bloated looking. How is that a shot fired?

[Andrew Santino]

That's legitimately a shot fired.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it not? Am I crazy?

[Dan Soder]

Of all weeks.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, here we go.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. He's hosting snl.

[Bobby Lee]

That doesn't look. Shane Gillis.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. Dude, you're.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Shut up.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine a nudist beach and Shane Gillis at it. Bingo.

[Andrew Santino]

There he is. I will say this. You are my best friend and I love you so much.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

I cannot wait for him to come back at you. Like, it's fucking. Honestly, it's gonna be great.

[Dan Soder]

I just. I feel like a fur trapper that's come out of the mountains and told you, like, you don't want that war, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

You think that's Gilly?

[Dan Soder]

I'd give you some Sam Elliott knowledge right now and say, Bobby, sometimes you eat the bear. Well, sometimes the bear eats you. That's not funny.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not funny. Yeah, the way you said it.

[Dan Soder]

Stop it.

[Bobby Lee]

Fuck you. Thanks for coming.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm loving whatever's going on.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so I want to say this.

[Andrew Santino]

You're humming hot.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm humming hot right now. I'm on fire, dude.

[Dan Soder]

You're pinned.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going to try to dig my way out. All right. When that whole thing happened with Shane. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I was the first one to defend him. Number two. The first time I saw him perform, I thought to myself, oh, I would never want to follow that. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's a beast.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

He's an absolute beast. Right? He's at the top of his game.

[Dan Soder]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Lee]

He's Got a beautiful girlfriend, right? Yes, I met. I know his dad. Love him.

[Dan Soder]

Phil's a legend.

[Bobby Lee]

Great guy, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I've been only respectful to his family, Right. I did a little dig. I did a little. I did a little.

[Dan Soder]

I'm gonna tell you right now. You moonwalking son of a. Oh, I moonwalk, brother. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. I do.

[Dan Soder]

That might.

[Bobby Lee]

There.

[Dan Soder]

That might have saved you.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

You walk. Walked.

[Bobby Lee]

I walked. Walked.

[Andrew Santino]

You walked.

[Bobby Lee]

Walked backwards. And I only have the greatest admiration. He's one of the kings of the world right now. He's a beast. And I. I discovered this when we did. No, please don't call him. I discovered this when me and Shane were guest stars on the Burton Tom show in Vegas. Yeah, I went up first, right? And I. He was supposed to go before me, and I switched it. I brought Shane on. And this is in front of 15, 20,000 seats.

[Dan Soder]

I was there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you were there. And when I said his name, the kind of response that he got went through my. I had a spiritual awakening.

[Dan Soder]

You felt that?

[Bobby Lee]

Is that your laugh?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's how I laugh. That made me laugh.

[Andrew Santino]

Gilly.

[Dan Soder]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

What up, bro?

[Andrew Santino]

I want to tell you, you're on the pod, and we can cut it for sure because I never want to trap you, but Soda's over here right now. Soda's in studio, the man. And Bobby is over here. He's on a hot one. He's talking about you. And we all. We warned him. And I said.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not talking shit about you, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead and say it, dude. Go ahead and say we got to say to Shane Gillis. Say it.

[Bobby Lee]

I just said that. You're one of the top comics on planet Earth. You're one of the kings. No.

[Dan Soder]

What else?

[Bobby Lee]

I know your dad. I know your dad, and I have great respect for you. Is that a slam?

[Andrew Santino]

Doesn't sound like that's what you said.

[Bobby Lee]

So I'll tell you what I said. All right? I think. I think you have bulgy eyes. Yeah. And sometimes you look bloated. All right. Is that war?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, is it war, Gilly?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no, no. Me go to war with Bobby Lee. No. Could you defeat me quickly? Yeah. I'm not. No, I think you're great, man. I look forward to the special.

[Andrew Santino]

See that dude? He throws you a compliment, you insult my friend.

[Bobby Lee]

Why are you doing. Oh, my God, I feel so bad.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the kind of guy Gillis is. Thank you, Shane.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Love you, buddy. Talk to you later.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, good luck, man. I Wish you guys nothing but the best. Bobby, keep it up, man. Man, you're hilarious.

[Andrew Santino]

I love you, Shane. Damn. Too nice, dude.

[Dan Soder]

That good a comedy and that good a person.

[Andrew Santino]

So you get a two for two.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

You feel it now, huh?

[Dan Soder]

You know what, though?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

At least you're reflective of it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's even.

[Dan Soder]

And the accountability.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I'll tell you another thing, dude. We're cutting all that out. I have control of this podcast. We're going to cut all that out. Out.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude. Yeah, he just texted me.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you say?

[Andrew Santino]

Tell him he's dead. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me see it.

[Andrew Santino]

Dead. Told you.

[Dan Soder]

Wait, he did? Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Dead?

[Andrew Santino]

That's it for you, buddy.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it for me. Oh, well, you know what?

[Dan Soder]

That's a good run.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it's my way to get out. It's a good run. It's a good run. It's my way to get out. I'll get out.

[Dan Soder]

It's my way to get out. You know what, man? Honestly, they won't be able to find me in Vermont if I stay off the Internet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I mean, I have a fantasy of just kind of getting out.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what it is, dude?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This is like one of those Hollywood stars. Where are they now? And this will be a grainy flashback to when it all started to plummet.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. This is when the music changes, dude. This is when the music changes on the dock.

[Andrew Santino]

The color slowly fades.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, it goes black, stings get slowed down.

[Andrew Santino]

It just punched in on you right now contemplating.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to say I haven't slept a lot lately.

[Dan Soder]

I'm okay.

[Andrew Santino]

All you do is sleep. It's literally all I.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but the last three days I haven't because I've been traveling and stuff. Okay. I haven't not sleep. Been sleeping.

[Andrew Santino]

You think you're.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I'm not in my right mind. And I think that what I did was not right. And it was like. I. I don't even think that's how I really feel, you know? Yeah, I think it was just a guy just out of his mind talking.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude, I get it.

[Bobby Lee]

You get it?

[Andrew Santino]

I respect it, man, and I apologize.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. You don't look like. Like a security guard at a boutiques. Soho.

[Dan Soder]

Honestly, I would have taken that over what you originally said because that says I am there to secure.

[Bobby Lee]

And I. I think you were one of the first people to text me when I got hurt when I woke.

[Dan Soder]

Up and I heard about it and.

[Bobby Lee]

We have a great relationship.

[Dan Soder]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Lee]

And that's My bad.

[Andrew Santino]

We can start anew.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And la. You know last week when I went after you.

[Andrew Santino]

You did?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Bobby Spring about to be sprung.

[Bobby Lee]

I apologize for that. I was like, not in my right mind.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't care. It was actually kind of funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I loved. I actually thought it was very funny. Someone sent me the clip. I was like, that's pretty funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So. So it's my. I'm the. I'm the one that needs to change. I'm the wrong. Wow. I'm the bad guy.

[Dan Soder]

That level of accountability.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I. I'm ashamed that I said.

[Dan Soder]

No, stop. You are. You are entering a new phase in life.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Where you are taking ownership.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm trying to figure out if I really believe what I said. So I'm going through that right now. You know what I mean? I just. Be honest with you. Like, reflect. Do I really feel that way? Maybe, maybe not. But I shouldn't have said it out loud. I'll tell you that right now. In fact, I will say this. I do believe what I said. All of it.

[Dan Soder]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

But I shouldn't have said it out loud.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

That's crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty good. That was a 180 to a 180. We're right back where we started.

[Dan Soder]

If you watched a trial with that kind of. Admit where he goes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I don't.

[Dan Soder]

I'm sorry I killed her. But am I sorry I killed her? Not really. But I am sorry that I did it. I felt it. And I'm fine for feeling that.

[Bobby Lee]

I've been masturbating in five days.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you. Why haven't you jerked off in five days?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm trying to.

[Andrew Santino]

Not five days. Yeah, five days is a pretty good amount of time.

[Dan Soder]

When did you notice it? Like, what was the worst day so far?

[Bobby Lee]

Like today, last night. I tried to and I couldn't do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Four day four is when I start to get a little itchy.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Ari Shafir would told me that he said this out loud so I. You know.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That he. The way, you know, his girlfriend. Great girlfriend.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That the reason he even met her in the first place, because he wasn't masturbating for a long time. Time. And then when that happens, that it motivates you to, like, you know, when you meet a girl like, hey, meet us at the bar. You don't go. It motivated him to go.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Because he had full balls.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. So I think it is a good advice, five days, though.

[Andrew Santino]

You should. You gotta. You gotta empty it out. Man.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, go, go empty the clip.

[Bobby Lee]

And maybe that's why I'm acting the way I am today.

[Andrew Santino]

That's exactly right. That actually explains.

[Dan Soder]

You know what? That. Is it because you're aggressive. You're being very.

[Bobby Lee]

Being very aggressive, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You're just horned up.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I'm horned up.

[Andrew Santino]

You're a little full.

[Bobby Lee]

So. Chin, if you're listening, running, don't start a war with me.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude, I'm horned up.

[Bobby Lee]

You get what you're saying? Yeah, Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

A guy getting to a fight with another guy, be like, brother, don't. I'm just this way because you're horny.

[Dan Soder]

I just realized it. The reason I tried to fight you in that bar was because I have a boner.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Out of my mind.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I apologize. And I think people listening get it.

[Dan Soder]

Oh. Huh.

[Andrew Santino]

I think they get it.

[Bobby Lee]

I think they get it too.

[Dan Soder]

Any rational person would get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Now, can I ask you another question? What do you think of Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix?

[Andrew Santino]

I know you called me about this. We talked.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you been there?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He's Tucson. He doesn't know Phoenix as well.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I know.

[Bobby Lee]

South on I10 so years ago, a film critic in New York Times said that that's the best pizza on planet Earth. And it became a gigantic hours away.

[Andrew Santino]

Big planet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And big planet. To say Earth, dude, that's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

And you know, I went there again. It's pretty good.

[Andrew Santino]

It's good.

[Dan Soder]

Is it? Is it like. Have you had Frank Pepe's in Connecticut?

[Andrew Santino]

That's like one of the. That's like the.

[Bobby Lee]

Why would I go there?

[Dan Soder]

I don't know. You do a lot of shows.

[Andrew Santino]

Connecticut has some of the best pizza.

[Dan Soder]

They're trying to like, they're trying to make it that. They're trying to make us Hartford there in Connecticut. Yeah, yeah. But this. But Frank Pepe's is in New York.

[Bobby Lee]

Hartford, Connecticut. Funny bone. They just. They were so rude to me. That's why I've never been back.

[Andrew Santino]

The club?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Or the people that went to the club?

[Bobby Lee]

No, the. The staff, the management there.

[Andrew Santino]

Really.

[Bobby Lee]

I did one weekend there and the manager at the last night and I'd seen him around all weekend, finally introduced himself and he was kind of like, here's your check.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, damn.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe he had something going on. He could have had full balls. What if that guy had full balls?

[Dan Soder]

Would you have taken it if he was full balls?

[Bobby Lee]

No, twice I've been there.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine he's.

[Bobby Lee]

And they were not nice to me.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, he's. Well, maybe he had full balls twice.

[Dan Soder]

They can fill up real quick.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, you know what? You're right. Maybe you're right.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So Connecticut has the best pizza.

[Dan Soder]

They try to. If you ever go to New Haven, you should have Frank Pepe's.

[Bobby Lee]

New Haven. Frank Pepe's.

[Dan Soder]

It's very good.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so.

[Dan Soder]

But do you think so far, do you think Pizza Bianco was the best you've ever had?

[Bobby Lee]

I think that it's the best in the top five I've ever had, probably.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, okay, let's. Frank, how about this? This is even more. Because we got in a good debate about donuts the other week. Let's try.

[Dan Soder]

By the way, in Los Angeles, I go to kettle glaze every time I'm here.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And I went and picked up a half a dozen.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you are a little sweet secret sweet boy. Huh?

[Dan Soder]

I'm pretty loud. I'm pretty raging.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going to tell you something right now. I think you're going wrong with it. I think you're going wrong with it, and I'm going to convince you otherwise.

[Dan Soder]

Kettle glaze.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

The wrong way to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I would go have your head. Sidecar.

[Andrew Santino]

Mm. We brought them into the studio one time.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you think of them?

[Andrew Santino]

They're kind of fine.

[Dan Soder]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, it's not my. It's not my number.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, are they like, a busy donut?

[Andrew Santino]

A busy don't. Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Here's.

[Bobby Lee]

We were talking about this. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Kettle glaze goes like this. We're a donut.

[Andrew Santino]

We're done. See, that's what I like.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Like, we're a donut wearing a fruit hat.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? You know what these are? These are donuts that. These are a. These are single moms now that have been through a divorce. That's who. This donut.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's got too much going on.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You go. You don't need all of this. You don't even need.

[Bobby Lee]

But I'm going to double down now, my friends. Okay. And I'm going to show you something that's going to blow your minds. If I may.

[Andrew Santino]

Please.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. In Korea.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm already out.

[Dan Soder]

I'm in. I'm in. Harder.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the right answer.

[Andrew Santino]

South or North?

[Dan Soder]

I don't care.

[Andrew Santino]

The good side.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at Kim Jong Un does North Korea.

[Bobby Lee]

He loves donuts.

[Andrew Santino]

North Korea have a similar thing. Like, Northern Ireland has an up the Raw. Like, does North Korea have a fucking chant or anything like that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Kill American. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Or it's like, it's untime.

[Bobby Lee]

So there's a. They have one now. So this is a Korean company that. They have one in Koreatown, and it's called Old Fairy Donut.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, That's.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what we call you.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what, dude, that's rude.

[Andrew Santino]

You set me up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Old Fairy. Old F, E, R, R, Y.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, yeah, it is the best donut in la.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, we'll go to Old Fairy.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah, those pictures, Bobby, you're right. This is it.

[Bobby Lee]

Sarcastic.

[Dan Soder]

No, I'm being 100 for real.

[Bobby Lee]

Telling you.

[Dan Soder]

You showed me that first fancy. I don't want that. This is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, I want to rank this. I want to rank the most. The corporate pizza joints where they go. Because, look, everyone's got their fancy pizza joints. Give me the corporate rankings. Give me Domino's Pizza Hut, Little Caesars. Give me. Sbaro can be thrown.

[Bobby Lee]

I can tell you go. I honestly think Pizza Hut.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Number one.

[Dan Soder]

Number one is Pizza Hut because no.

[Bobby Lee]

One crust is buttery and something about it.

[Dan Soder]

Also, the way they do their pizza, it stays more of like a pizza Domino's. They overload you with the fucking dough and the cheese.

[Bobby Lee]

And your swearing is right for that. They're fucking dough. Yeah. Yeah. I hate it.

[Andrew Santino]

I think little C's is my favorite.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

That's hot and ready, dude. Hot and ready. It's simple. It's simple as Little C's. Cheese is fine.

[Dan Soder]

What do you have? Cricket. You have a cricket phone?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Who likes Little Caesars?

[Andrew Santino]

I just like the five.

[Bobby Lee]

One of their toppings is cancer.

[Dan Soder]

I. I bet it goes Pizza Hut, Domino's. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Papa John's.

[Bobby Lee]

Papa John's.

[Dan Soder]

Pre or post N word. I don't know that garlic sauce. You get in the top three with that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, dude, I like the hot and ready. Just. It saved me for a long time in my 20s. Financially, I think if you ate it.

[Bobby Lee]

Now, you would think differently, because I don't.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't have that pizza now. That's the problem. Like, I haven't eaten anything like that in a long time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but the pizza, Little Caesar is still around.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it?

[Dan Soder]

Dude?

[Bobby Lee]

What? Every corner go to Western.

[Dan Soder]

My buddy Matt's kid, I haven't seen.

[Andrew Santino]

A Little Caesars in forever.

[Dan Soder]

My buddy Matt's kid just tried it for the first time, like, last week, and he was like. He says it's the best food he's ever had in his life.

[Andrew Santino]

Life I've never seen. We're in Echo Park. Not Going over there.

[Dan Soder]

But what if you guys had a Little Caesar's pizza party and it was brought to you?

[Andrew Santino]

We keep talking about it. They might end up sponsoring the show.

[Bobby Lee]

So I went to pizza. When I play Chicago improv, some things that get me a fresh lumalnal. Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's my. That's my. That's. I love.

[Bobby Lee]

It's pretty good.

[Dan Soder]

It's very good.

[Bobby Lee]

I like deep. Deep dish. I don't care what you feel about it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's good Just for that special occasion. We don't eat it on the regular.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. But I love it.

[Dan Soder]

It's heavy. It's too heavy for a regular.

[Andrew Santino]

Now you eat it once in. Wow. It's. It's cake.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Fork and knife.

[Bobby Lee]

So I had this Filipino family, Kila's End, come from Philippines one summer, and we went to that deep dish pizza place in Los Feliz or Echo Park. Masa. Masa.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Masa. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's great.

[Bobby Lee]

They didn't eat it.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

They don't know what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

There wasn't any bugs on it.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They're like.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no cardboard.

[Andrew Santino]

If you shave some tree bark on, they say we'll be good.

[Dan Soder]

Say when. On the tree bark. They're doing it like it's truffle.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I interest you in some truffle?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. This is some oak. We're just gonna shave it onto your.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, of course.

[Andrew Santino]

They didn't eat. That's not. They're in their flavor profile. They like. They like spicy. That pizza is a thick, doughy cake pizza.

[Dan Soder]

It's just a mushed up tomato.

[Andrew Santino]

They're not gonna like that.

[Bobby Lee]

But let me say something to you, y'all.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

When I'm in a different country, I just. I'll check all of it out and I'll try it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you're saying they didn't even want to try it?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, they didn't even, like, attempt it at that thing.

[Bobby Lee]

How would you not try that?

[Dan Soder]

They didn't even take a bite.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, there's no.

[Dan Soder]

That is. That's, like. You get. I would. I would see myself getting very upset about that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Take a.

[Dan Soder]

Being like, take a bite.

[Bobby Lee]

I also made reservations. You guys got to check out this.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean?

[Dan Soder]

Put thought into it.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly, dude.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What do they end up wanting? They want a jollibee. Right? Right? Yeah, they love jollibee, dude.

[Dan Soder]

What's jollibee?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you're. You know, it's Their version of, like, a chain food restaurant.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's. But it's. They live and die by this so much so that, like, yeah, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, but they have spaghetti, too. Show. Show me Jollibee spaghetti, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, Benny Blanco, that's their spaghetti. The producer.

[Bobby Lee]

You know how you. Sometimes you're in the mood for spaghetti and a chicken leg.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. What am I pregnant?

[Andrew Santino]

Benny Blanco did a video of a food review, I think, at his house, and he caught so much from Filipino fans for just being like, this isn't good, Benny B. Yeah, but it's so funny how, like, they take. This is like their.

[Bobby Lee]

But the one in the Philippines that I've been to is. The quality is different. It's better.

[Andrew Santino]

You think it's just. Yeah, it's just.

[Dan Soder]

Do you think it's like. Like, when you get a Guinness in Ireland, it's just better?

[Andrew Santino]

That's.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

That's true. They clean out their lines.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but you go to a good spot that serves a good Guinness, there's a couple of good Guinness spots. Because I. That, you know, that's my beer. I don't really drink beer, but if I'm going to have a beer, I'm drinking that.

[Dan Soder]

You know, I was the.

[Andrew Santino]

I was the Guinness king.

[Dan Soder]

I was the brand ambassador.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's what got me out, Julie, you know Julian McCullough.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Yeah, I know.

[Dan Soder]

He did the Guinness brand ambassador thing, and then he quit drinking, and they were trying to find a new one, and he's like, you should have my buddy Soder do it. And.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I talk about him? What's that, McCullough?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You cut off a story, but, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What's up?

[Andrew Santino]

What's going on? You're gonna call him bloated, too?

[Bobby Lee]

Finish your story?

[Dan Soder]

No, I was just saying I got to go to the. I got to, like, go. They flew me to Dublin, and I got to, like. I had to drink Guinness for, like, two years.

[Andrew Santino]

The best.

[Dan Soder]

And by the end, I was like, get this mud water out of me.

[Andrew Santino]

I love it.

[Bobby Lee]

See, when he finishes it, we should have cut it off this guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, you're. You're a little hot. Hot.

[Dan Soder]

I need. I almost need you to go to the bathroom.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I have to. I think I have to watch you come back.

[Dan Soder]

And it's just.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm not gonna. You know what? You're right. I'm gonna be more mindful about it. I'm not gonna say what I want to say about Julian McCullough, I think it's another war.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead, let me hear it. You might as well, dude. You're starting it up.

[Bobby Lee]

So when I met him, he used to live in la.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I thought, what a handsome fella he is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Something happened.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you're saying he lost his look?

[Bobby Lee]

Something happened.

[Dan Soder]

Did you fall out of love with him because he's still handsome? Maybe you fell out of love with him.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a pretty good looking guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I guess he's still got it. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

What did you think you. Did you see him on an off night?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, look. Yeah. So when I saw him recently, he just got older. That's it. Like, we all do. He gained like six pounds is all.

[Dan Soder]

Dude, Bobby's like Tim Gunn. He's like, what are you, fat? Look at this. Gross.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I loved it. Ew, what a fantastic.

[Dan Soder]

Julian rules.

[Bobby Lee]

He's so funny.

[Dan Soder]

He's very, very.

[Bobby Lee]

I love him anyway, and thanks for.

[Dan Soder]

Giving me the brand Ambassador job in 2000.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you, Julian.

[Dan Soder]

I got to quit waiting tables because of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

It's pretty sick.

[Andrew Santino]

Isn't that great when something like that changes your life?

[Dan Soder]

I mean, changed my life. I bought a laptop. I never. I didn't own a laptop from 2007 to 2011.

[Andrew Santino]

Slow down.

[Bobby Lee]

Is Joe Matari still around?

[Dan Soder]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

You know him.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I know Jim, Joe, Matt.

[Andrew Santino]

The first time I made enough money to buy like a new laptop, like a real one, I didn't. I didn't watch porn on it. I was so scared.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You don't want to. Yes. You didn't want to damage.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't want to hurt her. I keep her in good shape.

[Dan Soder]

No, only emails and videos for years.

[Andrew Santino]

I was like, so afraid. I was like, no, it's going to it up. And it's the first one I could afford, so no, I'm not going to it up.

[Dan Soder]

Yes. That's how I felt about my iPhone. First time I got an iPhone. I'm like watching porn on this thing. And then you're like, oh, you can watch porn on this thing. That's all I wanted.

[Andrew Santino]

And now that's all it is for.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Dan, how are you dealing with the fame, brother?

[Dan Soder]

Day by day.

[Andrew Santino]

He takes it day by day.

[Bobby Lee]

But do. Do you like it?

[Dan Soder]

I'm not famous.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you talking about? Can I tell you why you are? Because I'm hanging out with somebody. She was, introduced me to these family members.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

And there was a guy involved and he was like, do you know Dennis Hodo? No, they were white.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, sorry.

[Dan Soder]

You know what, though?

[Bobby Lee]

You. You seem to think all the people I hang out with are Asian.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I didn't get an accent in all episode. I figured I had to do it now because we talked about.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Honestly, at the buzzer. Nailed it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. But he is a huge fan of yours.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

He's like, I love. You know how. What's he like? You know what I mean?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I swear to God. And I'm like, who, Dan? He goes, yeah. What's he like? He seems he's biggest fan.

[Andrew Santino]

He's the man.

[Bobby Lee]

I've seen people talk about you many times.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

So there is a level of fame, and you know it because when you go to clubs, you sell out, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So why does that happen?

[Dan Soder]

Because I've been going to cities for years.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not why. It's because you're. You're. Your presence is elevated.

[Dan Soder]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I mean, you write. Can we agree with that? So how are you dealing with it?

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't know who this guy was before he walked in the door.

[Dan Soder]

I just randomly walk in. Can I sit down on your podcast also?

[Bobby Lee]

People that we have on this podcast are people that are elevated.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So how does it feel?

[Dan Soder]

Feels good. Thank you. By the way, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Easy answer, dude.

[Dan Soder]

But just like the way you described me, you went, the. The worst thing with me is me trying to be confident with myself.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's hard to. I know.

[Dan Soder]

On me all you want. Bring it on, baby. Yeah, we can have fun. But the second you go, like, good job. I go, it's the hug.

[Bobby Lee]

Why are we like that?

[Dan Soder]

It's the hugging step brothers. Because it's. You just said it earlier. It's the bullying that made you funny.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm shocked when people are like, come to my shows and it's sold out or whatever. I always turn to the manager, go, is there some sort of promotion going on? And they go, what do you mean? I go, I mean, is it a two for one or what's going on? He goes, no, it's regular price. And you sold out. And I'm always. I look in the audience, I go, wow.

[Dan Soder]

I've told this story before on. On the regs, but I was working the Blue Room in Springfield, Missouri, and I drove from Kansas City to Springfield, and I had a bunch of texts, and people were like. Like, they're like, dude, the club's running a special where if they buy tickets to You. They're entered into a raffle to see Matt Rife. And like, so many comics texted me screen, grabbed it and sent it to me.

[Bobby Lee]

They're like, wow, really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they're like, same audience.

[Dan Soder]

They were like. They were like, hey, buy tickets to this ogre and then maybe you can see Matt Rife. And it worked.

[Bobby Lee]

It worked. Wow. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

My ticket sales were dog shit. And there were people there and it was. It was wild. That's like where you're like, oh, so you guys are running around. Okay. And then when it really happens, you go.

[Andrew Santino]

First time I played the Mall of America.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

House of comedy, maybe 20 people maybe. And that's like a 500 seat room.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a hard.

[Dan Soder]

That's a full circle moment, though. Taping your special in Minneapolis.

[Andrew Santino]

That was pretty cool, that. It was really cool. It was. That one hurt a lot, though, the mall, because you walk into.

[Dan Soder]

It's a big room, too.

[Andrew Santino]

And you have to walk into the mall before you go to a club, which hurts you twice.

[Bobby Lee]

Also. Top floor.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You have to pass.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to go up escalators and elevators.

[Dan Soder]

And honestly, that Jamba Juice is doing some heavy lifting.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

There's.

[Dan Soder]

I'm getting an Orange Dream Machine and then I'm going upstairs.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, it's an Orange Julius now. I'm just kidding. I'm not.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm glad you said that because that was my worst turnout of all time.

[Andrew Santino]

I got.

[Bobby Lee]

I h them, all of them.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

And I just. I can see an image of me like a Paul Thomas Anderson shot of me, like, going down the escalator when it's over, passing, like the guy at Journeys, like, turning off the lights.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Shutting the cage.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Like, yeah, dude, it hurt. It hurts. Hurts so much when you, like, have to do that. But it makes you a great comic. And to piggyback what you're saying, not to be a sappy, but I thank every. Every set now. I've been thanking the fans and I did it every night at the special because it does mean the world to me that they show up. I think it's so dope that they come out. It's. Dude, it. It never has made me go. Yep. Knew it. Every time I go out, I go, wow, dude, thank you. Unreal. Amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you have.

[Andrew Santino]

But there's a couple of comics we know, you know, that are like, I knew it was going to be this way.

[Dan Soder]

That's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

I do get resentments, though, of clubs that didn't treat you well.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know I mean, and then now you won't play them.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I got a couple.

[Andrew Santino]

You mean. Totally.

[Dan Soder]

I got a couple.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that right, though? Is that healthy?

[Andrew Santino]

That's like, if any. If any regular person at your regular job at home, whatever job that you work, if someone treated you poorly in your customer route and then you started doing well on some other version of your job and then those customers wanted to come back, you'd be like, get fucked.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The clubs I play now are. The clubs are necessarily not because of the draw, but it's because they treated me when I was down.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So when I talked about Hartford, Connecticut, at that Funny Bone, I was down then.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And I just want people to be regular and nice.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. When they're. When they're. When they're good to you. When they don't have a reason to be.

[Bobby Lee]

I have loyalty. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You're like, oh, cool, then I'll come back. Back, you know, like, they used to.

[Andrew Santino]

Be good to me, by the way. I'm not saying not change, but when I was doing those house comedies.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And Bronson's Rooms, they. They were always good to me.

[Bobby Lee]

Edmonton's great.

[Dan Soder]

Now, that's where we might differ.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, really? Oh, you got clipped out there.

[Dan Soder]

There might be a reason why I don't use them as a club chain anymore. Oh, I. You want to talk about one of my worst weekends of my life?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Was the. That club House of Comedy in Scottsdale.

[Bobby Lee]

Scottsdale.

[Dan Soder]

It's north Scottsdale, dude. At a point, it looked like a moon base. When you drive up and you'd be like, there's nothing. It looks like Mars and.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And I just ate every night so bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that 12 years ago again?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it's 2000. Yeah. This is 2013. 2014.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Wow.

[Dan Soder]

I think the Edmonton happened, like, 2016, 2017. This is like 2014. I remember specifically, I called Gary Goldman, and Gary Goldman was like, just do your best stuff. Keep your head down. Get through the weekend.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because it was just. Well, was eating.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you why, though. From a socioeconomic standpoint, you're not that kind of. That's not your crowd.

[Dan Soder]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. This is like retirees. This is a lot of, like, old couples.

[Bobby Lee]

God.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. This is.

[Dan Soder]

I also have, like, some resentment for Arizona because, like, you went to school there.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You know, we both went to school there, and you kind of come back and you're like, you weren't that nice to me.

[Andrew Santino]

Why were you so mean to me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You got doing to me.

[Bobby Lee]

Come back to those things.

[Dan Soder]

You're like, I couldn't get pussy for shit at this school. And I'm coming back and being like. But. But I. I'm doing a show in Tucson this fall. I'm very excited. I haven't been back to Tucson in, like, years.

[Andrew Santino]

Plug it, by the way. You playing the school?

[Dan Soder]

No, no, no, no. I don't know what venue we're doing yet, but we're setting it up.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you ever played this school?

[Dan Soder]

No, I have zero interest.

[Andrew Santino]

One day I want to play asu. I don't know why, Because I think Schwartzen played there when I was in school.

[Dan Soder]

That's awesome.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, well, he was.

[Dan Soder]

I want to do the Rialto because that's where I saw Chappelle in Tucson.

[Andrew Santino]

That's sick.

[Dan Soder]

During the Blackzilla. Season one of Chappelle.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

Without a doubt, one of the greatest live standup shows I've ever seen in my life. Guy did like 70, came back out, did 20 on courts.

[Andrew Santino]

Get.

[Bobby Lee]

Get ripping it.

[Andrew Santino]

I hate that we're doing 26, tops.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Bring up Sod's dates.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

If you want to see Dan Soder on tour, he's on tour right now here in February, March, April, May. He's everywhere. His Balboa Theater down there in San Diego.

[Dan Soder]

So Richmond, Virginia, I'm gonna be at the Funny Bone April 4th and 5th, and then in Spokane Comedy Club May 1st through the 3rd. We got a big announcement coming up with a bunch of shows that I'm gonna hopefully be dropping very soon that are not on this list, that are not listed.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you doing, like, a skanks thing?

[Dan Soder]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

I'm doing, like, a tour.

[Andrew Santino]

With a bunch of other guys?

[Dan Soder]

No, by myself. Okay, Big boy. Shit.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, big dog.

[Dan Soder]

Put on some big pants.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, go to dansoder.com if you do wanna go see one of the funniest comedians we know touring across the country. We love you, Dan. Look at that camera. Say thank you for being a bad friend.

[Dan Soder]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Andrew Santino]

God, your voice is so good.