We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends Episode - "We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang"

Episode Information:

• Title: Bad Friends
• Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
• Guest: Jimmy O Yang
• Production: 7EQUIS
• Release Date: January 20, 2025

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1. Introduction

In this episode of Bad Friends, hosts Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino are joined by their friend and fellow comedian, Jimmy O Yang. The trio dives into a wide array of topics ranging from personal anecdotes, travel experiences, societal issues, to the challenges within the entertainment industry. The casual and humorous banter sets the tone for an engaging and insightful discussion.

2. Main Discussion Points

a. Recent Events and Personal Experiences

The conversation kicks off with Andrew Santino sharing his excitement about an upcoming tour across various cities, including New York, Philadelphia, San Diego, Phoenix, San Francisco, Boston, and Minneapolis. He mentions shooting a special in Minneapolis, highlighting his gratitude and anticipation for performing at multiple venues.

Notable Quote:

• Andrew Santino [00:05]: "I'm so very excited and so humbled. I cannot believe I get to play two beautiful venues, New York and Philly."

b. Navigating Travel Challenges

Bobby Lee and Andrew delve into the frustrations of air travel, specifically the inefficiencies of airplane boarding processes and seat management. They humorously critique the lack of logical boarding sequences and express their disdain for strict airline regulations, such as the tray table rules and seatbelt sign policies.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [04:48]: "Why can't we have separate radios for taking phone calls on planes?"
• Andrew Santino [05:53]: "We should have the back of the plane board first. It doesn't make sense to board front to back."

c. Cultural Representation and Stereotypes

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around cultural stereotypes and representation, particularly concerning the Asian community in America. The hosts touch upon the impact of media portrayals, such as the success of Squid Game, and the challenges Asian comedians face in Hollywood. They also explore interracial relationships and the complexities that arise from cultural differences.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [25:01]: "Once you go Asian, you find yourself another Asian fellow."
• Jimmy O Yang [53:37]: "Growing up in Hong Kong, white people were exotic to me."

d. Personal Updates and Future Plans

Jimmy O Yang shares his upcoming projects, including a new golf show that blends entertainment with sports. The hosts discuss their own ventures, such as Andrew's special on Hulu and Bobby's involvement in various projects. They also humorously contemplate relocating to more central locations in the U.S. due to ongoing challenges in Los Angeles, like wildfires and regulatory hurdles.

Notable Quotes:

• Jimmy O Yang [62:22]: "I'm doing a golf show where I'm talking and walking with players."
• Bobby Lee [68:27]: "We're going to Missouri. It's the most central state in the United States."

e. Theatrical Experiences and Movie Critiques

The trio reminisces about their experiences visiting movie theaters, discussing specific films like A Serious Man and Falling Down. They critique the portrayal of Los Angeles in cinema and share personal anecdotes about attending screenings with family members.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Santino [35:54]: "It's about a man who takes everything on the chin while his life falls apart."
• Bobby Lee [37:11]: "Falling Down was the best representation of Los Angeles I've ever seen."

3. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Andrew Santino [00:05]: "I'm so very excited and so humbled."
• Bobby Lee [04:48]: "Why can't we have separate radios for taking phone calls on planes?"
• Bobby Lee [25:01]: "Once you go Asian, you find yourself another Asian fellow."
• Jimmy O Yang [53:37]: "Growing up in Hong Kong, white people were exotic to me."
• Bobby Lee [68:27]: "We're going to Missouri. It's the most central state in the United States."
• Andrew Santino [35:54]: "It's about a man who takes everything on the chin while his life falls apart."

4. Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Bad Friends offers a blend of humor and candid discussions on relevant societal issues. The hosts and guest effectively use their personal experiences to shed light on broader topics like cultural representation, the minutiae of travel frustrations, and the struggles within the entertainment industry for Asian comedians. Their lighthearted yet insightful approach encourages listeners to reflect on these issues while being entertained.

The episode concludes with heartfelt exchanges and promotions of each other's projects, reinforcing the camaraderie and mutual support among the friends. The conversations about moving away from LA due to recurring challenges encapsulate a sense of searching for better environments, both personally and professionally.

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Final Thoughts: Bad Friends continues to deliver engaging content through its dynamic host interactions and relevant discussions. This episode, featuring Jimmy O Yang, stands out by addressing both personal anecdotes and societal observations, making it a relatable and thought-provoking listen for audiences.

Transcript

[A]

This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huell. Your go to for complete Nutrition Try.

[B]

Huel with 15 off today using code bad friends at my.huell.com Bad friends. Hey, bad Friends. This week I'm gonna be in Philly and in New York. I'm playing the Met and the Beacon. I'm so very excited and so humbled. I cannot believe I get to play two beautiful venues, New York and Philly. Come out and see me. Then I'm doing San Diego and Phoenix and San Francisco. We added a show. Then I'm going to be doing Boston. Going over to Boston, my friends. And then I'm finishing this tour in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Come see me. Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm doing four shows. That's where I'm shooting my special. I'm so very excited. Go to andrew santino.com for those tickets. Andrew santino.com.

[A]

You two are bad friends.

[B]

Who are these two idiots?

[A]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something. We're bad friends. Friends. Dude, did you fall asleep last night? No, bro. Yeah, you did. No, no, I liked your. No, you have that today. You liked it? No, no. So you're saying that I could have died? No, I liked it at 4 in the morning, I promise you. No, I. I could see the phone right now. Yeah, you could see it. Well, what can you see? That I did it at 4 in the morning. I know. Oh God. I could have died last night.

[B]

You definitely couldn't have died.

[A]

He.

[B]

He could have died last night.

[A]

No, he could have killed me.

[B]

Well, he's sick right now too.

[A]

Are you sick? Yeah, from the fires, dude, it's the smoke.

[B]

No, he's sick. You know he's sick.

[A]

Those are meth nose.

[B]

Meth nostrils. I' are nostrils. Those are meth nostrils?

[A]

Yeah. Bobby texted me at three in the morning saying like doors were unlocked and to come in if the fire hits.

[B]

That's sexy.

[A]

No, it's not, dude.

[B]

No, that's not sexy.

[A]

It's not sexy? No.

[B]

Oh, I thought that was sexy.

[A]

No, I had everything set up. I had the cat crates, everything set up. And I liked it. An hour later I could have died. Because I fell asleep knowing that you were my garden angel and I could have died. Angels need to take naps. So last night, what happened?

[B]

Saying garden angel.

[A]

Garden angel did like.

[B]

He lives in the garden.

[A]

That's right, dude.

[B]

My little gardening.

[A]

He's a garden angel, dude. He's a lawn gnome, dude.

[B]

He is kinda.

[A]

So last night, what time did you get in. I kept texting you on the flight.

[B]

Texting you from the sky.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I landed at 10:35.

[A]

My God. Oh, wow.

[B]

I saw the smoke the whole way. It was wild.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I saw the fires the whole way.

[A]

Last night, I texted Carlos because I was so tired. I go, so just. I'm gonna fall asleep. But just in case, if it gets out of control, I'm gonna leave my bedroom door open. Hot. Yeah. And then wake me up. I have the bags packed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Get the cats in the cradle. Cats in the cradle. And the silver spoon.

[B]

LA is on fire. And it's Newsom's fault.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So is that mayor we have? Were you going to.

[B]

Hey, Los Angeles, this is Mayor Karen Bass.

[A]

Yeah. Where are you going, baby?

[B]

She's done.

[A]

She's done. Dud.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's cooked.

[B]

She's done. Dude, why she stayed silent? They're interviewing.

[A]

Dude, that was crazy, that. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Sweet British guys like, Madam Mayor, have you got anything to say to the people of Los Angeles?

[A]

You cut. You cut. You know, the fire department fund and all that stuff. And she kept quiet. But last night, right? So I'm like. I felt. I fell asleep. I'm like, okay, Carlos has me this morning. He liked one thing, and so. Which means that he himself slept through it. So if my house is on fire, I'd be dead.

[B]

You'd be dead. But I was texting you the whole night. I texted you back and forth. In fact, I got a call from Kalila.

[A]

How many calls did you get from Kalila yesterday? Two.

[B]

Well, I got a call mid flight, and I saw a text that I was like, I can't answer. I'm on a plane.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why can't. By the way? Why can't I answer? I'm on a plane. Can't they just make it available for us to take a call on a plane?

[A]

It'll interfere with the radio.

[B]

No, it won't. That's. There's no way that.

[A]

There's no way.

[B]

There's no way.

[A]

There's a lot of things they should, like the closing the windows when you're landing. What's that all about?

[B]

Give me a break.

[A]

I. I know why they do that.

[B]

Why?

[A]

So when it's on fire, you can't see.

[B]

You can't see. So no one, right?

[A]

Yes. You don't panic. Right? Here's another one. Tray table. Why does that have to be up? Up or down or whatever? Whatever.

[B]

Couldn't matter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And by the way, if the plane crashes, the tray table, I want it to cut me in half.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Let it sever me in half.

[A]

Well, it would hit your head because they want you to bend over.

[B]

Well, they want you to eat your own balls. It's such a weird. They, like, tuck your head in your lap.

[A]

Another one. Here's another one. That drives me crazy.

[B]

Give it to me.

[A]

I feel like we're doing hacky road stuff. One is not. We're driving and flying.

[B]

Was that Seinfeld?

[A]

Not good.

[B]

Well, you just did it.

[A]

That was my dad.

[B]

What's the deal with flying?

[A]

What's the deal with flying? Anyway, Another one is. Some of. Some of you poor folk might know to not know this one. Okay, let me get. I want you to see if you can guess. All right? You can have the waist, right? But what else do they want? In first class sometimes.

[B]

What are you talking about? Have the waist?

[A]

The waist. Seat belt. Yeah, right. There's another thing they tell you to do.

[B]

Sit up straight.

[A]

Shoulder one.

[B]

Oh, the strap one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? Double strap.

[A]

It's like, I'm already. This.

[B]

Why do I need that?

[A]

Yeah, they need. We want this too.

[B]

Because you fold in half.

[A]

Oh, is that what it is?

[B]

Yeah, you'll fold in half. I don't. You know, there's no logic to it, but I will say this. You can't tell me we have people that live in space, right? We have someone that lives at the International Space Station. They live in space. You can't tell me the plane can't have a separate radio for me taking a phone call.

[A]

Dude, that's a good point.

[B]

Dude, what are you talking about?

[A]

Write a letter, dude, I'm go. Karen Bass.

[B]

To write a letter.

[A]

Write a letter to Karen Bass.

[B]

Dear Karen Bass.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why can't you figure this radio playing stuff out?

[A]

Okay, I have another one.

[B]

Get it?

[A]

The seatbelt signs on, right?

[B]

Yeah. Ding.

[A]

You have diarrhea every flight. Me too.

[B]

Literally every flight.

[A]

So I get up, see, right? And then stewardess goes. What do you call them? Flight attendant goes, yeah, you have to sit, right? And I go, but you're standing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Circa soleil.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

You think you have better balance than me? Circa soleil.

[B]

Cirque di Soleil. But yes, whatever, right?

[A]

You know, I bet you money I want to say this.

[B]

Circus ole.

[A]

Yeah. I want to see it. Olay. Olay.

[B]

She does it for.

[A]

I want. I want to look her in the eyes. I go, I bet you. Money lad or sir. Sir. Whatever, who knows, right? If we were on one of those longs in the leg, I would win 100, right?

[B]

Not even.

[A]

Don't pretend that you're log champion.

[B]

You're not.

[A]

You know that one? What? You know that one?

[B]

That's a log champion.

[A]

Look at my form.

[B]

Look, look, look, look. Now it's going backwards. Yeah. Switch, Switch.

[A]

So you know how they go?

[B]

Switch. They go forward and they go backwards.

[A]

What I'm saying is, is that, no, if you're standing, I stand.

[B]

If you're stand, I stand.

[A]

Don't you think.

[B]

Stand up for your right to fight.

[A]

Would you have any other flight ones?

[B]

I'll tell you one right now. This, because it's crazy, okay? And this applies to everybody. They get, they, they entice you on these frequent flyers. You know, they're like, oh, you get miles, right? Like, it means, it doesn't mean, it doesn't mean diarrhea. They lie, they. So here's what happens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm in Terminal 5. I'm about to fly on JetBlue because it shares it with American. I fly to American. My whole career we've been on the road.

[A]

You know why? Because you're in America.

[B]

God bless. God is good.

[A]

God bless America.

[B]

No, but I, but look, I've been, I've been an American customer because my dad was. When we traveled a lot. Now I've switched a lot back and forth, but I have over a million miles on American. Over a million, right? And check this out. I politely go to the. I politely go to the lounge and I say to the woman, hey, I know I'm not traveling American today. I'm traveling JetBlue. It's the same terminal. They don't have a lounge. But, like, I want to get something to eat because I haven't eaten. Like, I'm running around, I haven't eaten. I go, is it cool if I go in there? Because I'm a. And she goes, you have to fly American. I go, can I show you my. I, I, I, My loyalty or whatever? And she's like, no, I don't care. And I have the card. And I was like, no, I mean, just please, can I just get like a coffee and something to eat? I haven't eaten all day. She's like, no, you have to be flying American. And I said, I have over a million miles. What else do you want me to do? Dude, your. I give your company so much money every year. I'm not saying I, I, I'm entitled. It's like, dude, cut me a break. Can I get a coffee and a donut? I fly with you guys a million miles a Year.

[A]

I don't want to fight with you.

[B]

Start it.

[A]

Yeah, I don't. I don't want to. I don't. No.

[B]

Start it.

[A]

I. I don't want to start another fire. No.

[B]

Start it.

[A]

I don't want to start another fire.

[B]

Start one in this, in this room. And then we'll get an alert. By the way. We get an alert on our phone, Matt. And Bobby goes, they're telling the whole city to evacuate. I was like, read it.

[A]

I was mentioning common things that normal people go through, right? And you had to throw in, oh.

[B]

The first class strap. Common thing. You liar. You liar. This is. This is what the fans don't know. You're a liar.

[A]

No, you're a liar.

[B]

He started off by saying the poor people liar.

[A]

I never said that.

[B]

Yeah, you did. Roll the tape.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I did.

[B]

Yeah, he did. Okay, here's what he does. He plays this victim card and the fans think like, poor, innocent Bobby, dude. He's a brat. You guys don't know shit. You guys are so out of your element. And by the way, everybody can get access to a lounge. That's not like a privileged thing. But if you travel with an airline enough, you can go to the lounge. It doesn't matter how many points you have. You can go. And by the way. And by the way, little boy, you didn't have any status until I signed you up for all of your frequent flyer. Because I said I'm trying to help you out. Another thing you don't fucking take care of.

[A]

I didn't listen to a word you just said. Let me say something.

[B]

I know you did, Carla.

[A]

And you've been to the airport with him, right? Oh, yeah. What's up with him in the lounge? We're always. He's always like, meet me in the lounge. What am I. I'm like, I don't want to go to the lounge.

[B]

I want to go get a snack. I want to get food. Thank you, George.

[A]

We can go to Dunkin Donuts.

[B]

Why would I pay when I can just sit down and they don't have.

[A]

Chocolate donuts in the lounge.

[B]

Well, you should stop getting Dunkin Donuts.

[A]

It's kid mentality.

[B]

Like, he's a child.

[A]

McDonald's over cafeteria food.

[B]

Yeah, I'll take. I'll take what he said.

[A]

Go ahead, George.

[B]

It's shitty food.

[A]

It's airplane lounges aren't cafeteria food.

[B]

No, no, no, but I know what he's saying. It's. It's comparative. My point is, I just want to have, like, A cup of coffee and sit down and relax. Because you get to the gate and you're like, well, there's nowhere to sit. So I'm gonna stand here like a dildo waiting for the flight and then. It's not worth it. I'd rather go to the lounge, get a cup of coffee, sit down, read some emails. It's so that's why every time I invite. By the way, when we do go to the lounge together. You liar. You love it. You're a liar. When we were in Australia when the lounges. You loved it, didn't you? Didn't you? Liar. Dude, you're such a liar. The fact fans, you don't know who you really are.

[A]

What is wrong with you?

[B]

It bums me out.

[A]

Craz.

[B]

I testosterone. You listen to yourself walking out every day. My tea is way up right now. Dude, I want to kiss you.

[A]

Okay, one. One last thing and then we can move on from thing. They should have obviously at the gate a first class line.

[B]

Oh, boy. This is relatable. This will be a rel.

[A]

They should have. They should. I'm not done. Okay, they should have the groups, you know, so you have group B, C, whatever. The lettering of the 1, 2, whatever the numbers.

[B]

It's always numbers. Go ahead.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You wanted to start a fight, dude, you even said it.

[A]

Okay, but what.

[B]

So what they should have.

[A]

No, I'm not done yet, though. All right, so then they should have also a line that they don't have. Right? I know it for the Chinese, dude.

[B]

I knew you're gonna say.

[A]

Because I'll tell you why. Yeah, okay.

[B]

They cut.

[A]

They what? They don't know how it works.

[B]

Yes, they do.

[A]

I know they do, but they pretend that they don't.

[B]

I love them.

[A]

So their whole thing is what going on right here?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You know, I love Chinese. They cut. They cut, they cut and they go in the first class, dude. Sometimes you'll see a Chinese couple. Yeah, Chinese couple.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they'll go with the. Needs more time. Like the disabled people.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I've seen them walk with the veterans.

[A]

I've seen them with military.

[B]

Yeah. With the vet.

[A]

Yeah. You're not in the Marines.

[B]

And he beats his phone, right? He beeps phone. He's like, right, well, yeah, America.

[A]

But you know what I love, though? This is what I love.

[B]

I love that the.

[A]

When they. When they get to the ticket person, right? They go, how about me? Right? Right. How about me? And then they go, no, you're. You're you're five. You're at the end. And then. Then they had to go. And I always make a face. I was go.

[B]

I love it. See, when they walk by me, I go, nice try.

[A]

You did.

[B]

I let. I. It's a nice try. You got to let them swing. Okay, I'll give you one for the boarding. I'll give you one back. It doesn't make any sense. And it never has that we don't board back to front. Why wouldn't the back of the plane board first? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. You're boarding the front and it's jamming up. Let people in the back go first.

[A]

Are you saying this? I used to put first class first and then go back. No, because I'll tell you why.

[B]

That's not gonna go last.

[A]

I'll tell you why not.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because you're gonna know this, okay?

[B]

You like to stare at the people as they walk by.

[A]

That's number one. Yeah. Yeah. I like. I have my face.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And I do this. I sit like this. And I always have my hand out like this, right? And when they. When they lock eyes, I go like this.

[B]

I go, oh, move on.

[A]

Yeah, like move on. Don't look, don't look. All right. Yeah.

[B]

And if you get to the Comfort plus section and the bags don't fit because there's no bag room.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They burn. They light your bag on fire in front of you.

[A]

That's a very good one.

[B]

Right in front of you.

[A]

Here's what I don't like. Okay?

[B]

What?

[A]

My shit's up there, right? Some guy's late, he moves it. Not just moves it, he does something different. Like he tries to fucking Tetris. He tries to Tetris it, right?

[B]

I guess.

[A]

And he puts his stuff, jams yours twisted, right? You have no idea what's in mine. I could have some biohazard material.

[B]

And you sometimes do.

[A]

I sometimes do. Right. So don't touch mine and Tetris my.

[B]

Shit because you could set it off.

[A]

Yeah, I just don't touch my shit.

[B]

I say that to him next time they're moving and be like, oof, that's going to trip the wire. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. It will go off.

[A]

Yeah. So those are my things.

[B]

Those are your rules. Well, how about this one?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I did a nice thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I did a switch. Will you switch me seats? I did a nice thing. You got your Blue Chew? Yeah, I did a switch me thing. You know, Can I have my husband And I can sit the thing. Yeah, of course. No problem. I'll do it. I'll do it anytime someone asks. No big deal.

[A]

You do.

[B]

I do. When they what? How about this?

[A]

Would you do this, huh, if you were an aisle or a window?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And so you had to be a window, a middle to do it.

[B]

It's six. How long is the flight?

[A]

Six hours long.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Six hours. That's correct. Come on.

[A]

So you. So I'm the guy.

[B]

This is.

[A]

Excuse me.

[B]

It's time dependent.

[A]

Excuse me, sir.

[B]

Yeah. How are you, man?

[A]

Yeah, you know, we got our tickets late, and so me and my wife, we don't have seats next to each other, but if you switch, my wife, you know, she can sit next to me. So can you switch, please? She's got the middle.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I don't. How.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're not from this country.

[B]

Excuse me. Yeah. I don't speak right away. Right away. See? How would you handle it? Ready?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Excuse me, sir? Sir? Excuse me, sir? Hi. Hey. My wife and I book tickets late, and we're actually going to my mom's funeral. And you think we could switch seats so I could sit next to my wife? Sir? Oh. Oh, my God. You know what I do in that situation?

[A]

What?

[B]

I go right to flight attendant. I go, hey, can you just move this guy? Because he won't know the difference.

[A]

Yeah, no, no, but I did it. I did. Deaf and blind.

[B]

Right, right, right. You guys looking at me?

[A]

I wasn't looking at you. Right. So you got to go deaf and blind. Right? And then if that doesn't work, you go a little bit of, like, twisty.

[B]

You pulled it in the brain. You pulled a Helen Keller.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, yeah. So that's good.

[B]

Pull a Keller. Would you pull a color on a flight?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, but my favorite thing to do when someone's talking to you on a flight, sitting next to you, I like to make up a life. If they don't know, if they've never seen me or if they don't know, they're like, what. What are you going to Charleston for?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a fun opportunity to be like, I'm an engineer. I'm an aerospace engineer, and I'm going to a conference right now. We're actually developing a way to shoot down Chinese spaceships.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

I'll just make sure.

[A]

Oh, that's good.

[B]

It's fun. Who fudgeing cares? And that guy's like, whoa, Yeah.

[A]

I pretend.

[B]

Then he goes and tells someone. They start a Reddit thread and then they do. Yeah.

[A]

When they asked me, I've had, like, older white dudes will ask me, like, hey, where's your family from? Right. And you already know one that he wants to know.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Because if you tell him you're Korean, then he has a story. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear the story.

[B]

I went to Seoul.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Or yeah, yeah. Or like, his grandfather was in the war.

[B]

I used to exclusively date Asian women.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I knew.

[A]

That is. So I go, george. Yeah, that's. So I just make up a place.

[B]

Oh, where are you from?

[A]

Bongbong.

[B]

You're from Bong Bong.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

How far is that?

[A]

Bangwon is.

[B]

Oh, Bong Beni.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. From Bang Island.

[B]

Oh, it's an island.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And we're known for. If you want to know.

[B]

I would love to.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. We have a special kind of corn that we crop.

[B]

Oh, what color?

[A]

Purple. Wow. Yeah. And then we're also the best at making whistles.

[B]

That's you guys?

[A]

Yeah, we make whistles. We invented that.

[B]

You did?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So different than regular whistles.

[B]

Fry. Imagine.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

What's the sound that they make so people have a laugh. No one's going to come save the day.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's it. But so I make it up because I don't want to get into their fucking. They want to connect with you, so they try to find that thing.

[B]

It's cute sometimes, but. But sometimes I also just want to have fun. Because, by the way, when you tell them I'm a comedian or we do a podcast, they don't give a. They're like, oh, really? How come I've never seen your stuff? And you're like, well, this. I don't want to. Oh, I don't want to. You know what I mean?

[A]

I hate.

[B]

Well, they'll go. They'll go, oh, you're a comedian.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You friends with Nate Barti, like, you know, he's the most famous comedian in the world. It's like, if they don't know you. Show the video, by the way, Carlos, real fast. This is my agent's house. Who? You know. You know my agent?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's his home.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

They sent that to. He sent.

[A]

Nice place, Carlos. You're a.

[B]

You're a piece of.

[A]

It's just nice that I have a nicer place than your agent now.

[B]

Oh, my God. Dude, dude, dude. By the way, Back it up just a little bit. Yeah, Just there. Right there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That. That's your place. That fireplace. That's the size of your place, right? Right around the fireplace.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I. I texted Rain Wilson today because his was just devastated.

[B]

Well, thank God my agent and his family and his wife got out because I. I mean, dude, how terrible. This is awful, bro.

[A]

Yeah, it's awful. I think that's Sebastian. His is fine.

[B]

Oh, he is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whitney. I talked to her. She lives way out there.

[A]

Yeah. She's fine, though, right?

[B]

She's fine. Yeah.

[A]

She said, but, you know Kalila's sister's house?

[B]

She said, we have no home to go to.

[A]

Yeah. But her house is the only one that didn't burn down.

[B]

Seriously?

[A]

Yeah. They cried today because they. They bought their first house.

[B]

They're in the desert, right?

[A]

No, they're in Altadena.

[B]

No. Now.

[A]

Now they're in the desert. Yeah. Yeah. And they cried because they were the only house standing. What they don't know is that four in the morning last night I took Fiji water. You know what I mean?

[B]

You did that?

[A]

I did that.

[B]

Dude, why feed and.

[A]

Because it's my favorite kind of water. And also, they're Filipino, so that was close, right?

[B]

It is near it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. My point is that I saved their house last night.

[B]

Let's give it up for Bob Savings.

[A]

Yeah. Anyway, it was.

[B]

You're a hero.

[A]

It was scary. Honestly, though, I don't know if. Because I would text your wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I go, what are you doing? And she's like, I'm doing. I mean, like, we were communicating.

[B]

She was packing bags. She actually went to our friend's house because there was a fire right near our house. I got so scared because I thought, oh, dude, I'm on a plane. Like, I can't do. So I just had a million texts coming in. The. My favorite text that I got was from Stanhope. Stanhope gave me, like, I think, the funniest text. Like, a lot of these, like, Rachel Feinstein and stuff. Like Sam Morrell. Like, a lot of New York people. A lot of great.

[A]

They texted you.

[B]

Adrian Bellucci.

[A]

Yeah, they didn't text me. And I'm going to have a problemo right now.

[B]

They don't know where you live.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

Look at this.

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That's trueclassic.com Bad Friends shop now and elevate your wardrobe today. Stanhope Stanhope wrote. Hey, just making sure Sam Morel is checked in to make sure you're okay. I wrote you're the man. I go, he has. But we all think it's disingenuous. Yeah, Mateo, a bunch of. You know what's so funny?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So many of these. The New York, New York comedy scene. Men. These people are so like, they all checked in. Rachel Feinstein just hit me just now.

[A]

Never got one from her. I got one from Versey.

[B]

Adrian ipalucci, Paul Verze. That's nice.

[A]

I got one from Mateo. Oh God. Howie Mandel.

[B]

Oh, that's nice.

[A]

I got one from.

[B]

Yeah, a lot of my New York comic friends. Dylan and I were talking too, because I wanted what Tim was up to. Dan Soder, the dog.

[A]

Did you get one from Rosebud?

[B]

Yeah, of course. Rosie and I were talking about one. Yeah. And Andy Cigura. Yep. Talked to Tom.

[A]

Ronnie Chang.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Ronnie Chang.

[B]

No, thank you.

[A]

I got a Ronnie Ch.

[B]

No, thank you. Yeah, that was a no thank you. I actually blocked him, I think.

[A]

Thank God for Chang. Yeah, I didn't get a lot.

[B]

No I didn't get. It's not that. I got.

[A]

Who else? Samuel. I'm gonna text him right now.

[B]

No, no, no. Don't. Don't do that.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Cuz he's not. He's not allowed to have his phone at this hour.

[A]

I'm gonna go. Sam Morel.

[B]

Can you imagine?

[A]

Yeah, dude.

[B]

My favorite text, though, I got was from a Chicago friend because, you know, I'm going to Chicago in the morning. My buddy in Chicago. Hey, man, are you okay? Yeah, we're okay, man. Thank you. Cool. Can I get a ticket for tomorrow's show?

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah, you got it.

[A]

Where are you going tomorrow?

[B]

I'm going to Chicago. Wow. Playing the Chicago theater.

[A]

Oh, this weekend?

[B]

Saturday. Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Big, big, big moment.

[A]

Big moment. It sold out.

[B]

I heard it's sold out.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's a big thing for me, man. It's like going home. It does something to me. I can't explain how much I appreciate it.

[A]

It's incredible. What are you talking about?

[B]

No, it just shocks my soul that people will come out like that. It's just nuts. It's awesome. I'm genuinely so, like, Jesus Christ. Crazy.

[A]

Well, you deserve.

[B]

When I was a kid. No, I'm saying when I was a kid, dude, we went to go see, like, my mother took my. My grandmother wanted to go see Phantom of the Opera, and she was like, we're gonna go. We're going to Chicago theater. Like, it was a big deal. Like, I had to dress up.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

But now we go there, we tell.

[A]

What is that about?

[B]

Penis jokes.

[A]

What is the Phantom about, bro? About, Duh. I know. I've seen the posters. That's what it's about.

[B]

Christine. What is Phantom of the Opera? It's. It's a dark, twisted tale of a. You would love it, dude. It's exact. It's right up your alley.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I love Dark and Twisted. Tell me what it's about.

[B]

It's general.

[A]

Give me a general.

[B]

A physical reject who falls in love with this woman. And he tries to look. Then he's got to cover up his face because his face is all up. And he's in love with this woman, but she's. She's. She's with another man. And he's trying to get her back into his good graces, but.

[A]

What happened to his face?

[B]

Acid.

[A]

No acid.

[B]

He went over to Saudi Arabia, made a couple of. He was pro gay rights.

[A]

That's what it's about.

[B]

Yeah. Well, no, that's right. They threw acid because he had a black Girlfriend.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Did not like that in Saudi.

[A]

Is there's really a black woman in it or they just cast.

[B]

What do you mean they Cat, what do you mean? Was there originally black cast members?

[A]

Well, I just see that photo right now and there's a black woman. I don't care if there is.

[B]

It sounds like you do.

[A]

No, I'm just. It's curious. Is it set in the South?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that racist?

[B]

It's set in Alabama.

[A]

Okay, so it's a. Christine, you better.

[B]

Come back to my cave now. I think it. Look. Look this up. I think it's the longest running musical I think it's the longest running musical in American history. Maybe it's not. What's number one? Phantom. It is.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

13,000 performances got beat Chicago.

[A]

After it got revived, I saw Lion King. That was fun.

[B]

What about Wicked? You see Wicked in theaters? Do you see it hold space?

[A]

Do you see the movie?

[B]

Come on, bro. I have zero interest in that.

[A]

Yeah, I downloaded. I just can't get myself to watch it.

[B]

Why would I watch that? You know what? I did watch that.

[A]

I loved Squid games.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

You love it?

[B]

I love it.

[A]

So good.

[B]

It's.

[A]

I being real.

[B]

I thought it was going to be bad because I was like. The first was so good. This series is going to be bad.

[A]

Guys see it? Oh yeah. It's so good.

[B]

You didn't watch it. It's so good.

[A]

It's so.

[B]

Wait, wait. But time out. Let me go back. We'll get back to Squid games because.

[A]

Okay, okay. What do you want?

[B]

I watched. I watch. And I know it's think it's from last year or the year before, but I was catching up on how to with John Wilson on hbo. That guy's so brilliant. And I mean it. He's so. What? You don't like it?

[A]

You remember you try to turn me. I saw a couple of.

[B]

I didn't like it, buddy. It's so good. It's such brilliant comedy, man. He's so fucking funny.

[A]

I don't know what it is.

[B]

Why don't you. You don't get. You don't get his shit.

[A]

I don't get it.

[B]

Here's what it is. It's an alternative subversive. Look at the world of New York through this. This artist lens. You're such an artsy guy. I can't believe you don't like it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Go back to squid.

[B]

Okay. Swiggy Squid games.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Once I'm genuinely. I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart. Once Again, the fucking Asian community makes another banger.

[A]

Korean.

[B]

Okay, more specific. I said Asian. But, but, but here's my problem. Why can't American shows do a second run and it's just as good as the first?

[A]

Why.

[B]

Why can't we do that? We don't. We up all the time.

[A]

You mean, like, do a better second season?

[B]

Yes. We don't. Do we almost we.

[A]

Well, I mean, severances should be good when it comes out, I hope. Yeah, maybe.

[B]

I mean, the first was so good. Well, who the know?

[A]

Who knows?

[B]

100 season two got 100 rotten tomatoes on severance.

[A]

Yes. You saw it? You already. It's out already. No, there is a post.

[B]

Season one was great.

[A]

I love that. Yeah.

[B]

But I'm just saying, it's like American shows, they struggle a lot with coming back with another band.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And this show, I think is. I'm not done. I think it's going to be just as good as the first.

[A]

Well, the third one. You know who's in it?

[B]

You know, how you. How are you not in it?

[A]

I'm not Korean. I don't speak Korean.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you fucking do.

[A]

No, I don't. I'll be able to say, where's the bathroom? And pussy. I mean. I mean, those are the only words I know.

[B]

The only thing.

[A]

Bibimbap food.

[B]

I've heard you say that to your mom.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Where's the bathroom? Pussy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

How do you say that as one sentence? Say, where's the bathroom? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna say that. By the way, I'm going to South Korea. You got to come with me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you want to go for real?

[A]

Yeah, let's go.

[B]

No, I'm dead serious. Yeah, I just said yes, but, like, can we go? Go.

[A]

I want to go.

[B]

Who? You?

[A]

Why are you going?

[B]

I'm going for that golf thing that I'm doing now. I'm doing a golf show. I just got back from.

[A]

I can't go to the course with you, but I'll just go.

[B]

Please.

[A]

I'm not going to the course.

[B]

All right. Let me tell you something. I know you don't care. I'm just gonna inflate your ego. Yeah, I went and go. I met just. I went to go meet a bunch of people and say hi and introduce myself because it's like the beginning in Miami. Yeah. And, dude, who's the amount of guys. No, no, no, no. The amount of guys that were what, celebrities, yo? Nobody. It was their pro golfers. You don't know them.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

But the amount of guys that were like, yo, I love you, and Bobby.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Where's Bobby? And I was like, dude, it'd be rad to bring you now that I know that you will go to South Korea. You have to come.

[A]

I'm gonna go. So, Squid. So the Squid game and I just do a real quick review.

[B]

Give me. Give me your review.

[A]

What out is. I was fearful about redundancy. Right. In your mind, you're like, okay, where can they go with this? Because they're gonna. They gotta showcase the games again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But in terms of the angle and the different kind of characters are in it, I mean, I really like the trans character in it. Yeah. She had honor. Yeah, she had honor, dude. And you know what? They do have honor in life.

[B]

All of them. All of them.

[A]

I don't. The ones that I know have honor.

[B]

How many do you know? How many trans people do you know?

[A]

For real? Be real.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

2. And they both have honor. They're so honorable.

[B]

They're not honorless.

[A]

They're not honorable.

[B]

None of them lack honor.

[A]

No. Yeah. They know who they are. They know who they are and they know what they're doing.

[B]

Is that what honor is?

[A]

Let's talk about a complete unknown to.

[B]

Such a phenomenal film.

[A]

It's just that it's phenomenal. But what I liked about it is, it's. There was a sigh of relief once I heard Timothy Charlemagne talk and sing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like when he's by with. Next to Woody in the. In the hospital.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he sings a song for Woody. Right. And there's a part in the song where there's, like a little bit of a hold of a note in the song. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was just so committed, and he sounds so much like Bob. And I began to cry because I'm like, I think he got it right.

[B]

You cried in the theater?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Ask Gene. Gene Hong would keep looking at me, and I literally weeped. What's so funny? Were you crying, like, to look cool in front of Gene? A little bit, yeah. Because you knew he kept looking at you.

[B]

You think you crying in the theater to Bob Dylan would bring back Magnum PI Magnum PI to another season? Gene.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

[B]

All right.

[A]

No. Because him and I had walked out of movies before. Yeah, yeah. But this one, we. I. You know, we always do a little Korean glance at each other. What?

[B]

Little wink?

[A]

Yeah. To see if we're gonna leave. Oh, yeah. I mean, so I looked at him that. Tears in my eyes. And he Was very pleased, you know.

[B]

Yeah, he's proud.

[A]

Proud and so. And I used to work with this girl, Monica Barbara. She was.

[B]

She's so good.

[A]

Yeah, she's so good.

[B]

It's unbelievable.

[A]

So hot. And the movie is.

[B]

Carlos, Carlos, come on.

[A]

She's very beautif. Pretty.

[B]

But Carlos. Carlos's commentary is always. You know what it is?

[A]

Yeah. It's degrading.

[B]

It's. It's. It's Howard Stern in, like the. In 96. Like, we say any girl. He's like, great kids.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

It's so funny. Yeah, she's gorgeous.

[A]

Yeah. But the movie was just great. And I thought, so good. Another one was Gladiator, too. You see it?

[B]

I haven't seen it. Now, do you do. Do you do the relaxed seats? Did you do the. You know, the seats that go down?

[A]

No, we didn't relax.

[B]

So you.

[A]

So I did the unrelaxing one.

[B]

See, I like to go to the. To the chill, to the relax.

[A]

The.

[B]

What is it called? The See what?

[A]

It's just like the lounge again. We're gonna bring it back to the lounge.

[B]

The best gaslighter I've ever met in my entire life. No, I mean, honestly. Honestly, it's impressive. It's impressive how much of a gaslighter you are. It's, like, disgusting. Anybody can go to that theater. I like to be in the recliner seats because of my back.

[A]

This is what gaslighting is, okay?

[B]

You have no idea.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

If there's a light, you think it's Cirque D Olay. You.

[A]

If there's a light on and I tell a woman, I go there, there's no light that's on. And I try to convince her that the lights on. Go ahead.

[B]

Some gas.

[A]

Yeah, so what I'm saying. Yeah, so what I'm saying to you is, is that you bring the gas. You bring up lounges and comfortable seats all the time. How is that gaslighting?

[B]

What? You're. Your argument's so fucking bad. It's unbelievable. It's like. It's shocking how many holes are in your bullshit.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

What are you talking about? I like to go to the theater to lounge. Everyone likes the fucking recliner seats. It's the best seats, okay? They're by far the best.

[A]

I don't do those.

[B]

What are you talking about? Because it's not close to your house. What theater do you go to?

[A]

The Grove.

[B]

You go to the fucking Grove?

[A]

What are you so angry about? Yes, I go to the fucking Grove, dude.

[B]

You Go to the Grove. Yeah, I know why you go to the Grove.

[A]

Same.

[B]

I know exactly why he goes.

[A]

Oh, here we go. Let's start now.

[B]

It's Bobby Lee. Hey, man, what's up? Smoking a cigarette. You. Oh, dude.

[A]

You.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

That's not why, dude.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

That's not why.

[B]

Carlos and George.

[A]

That's not why. That's not why, dude. Where do I go?

[B]

Then there's.

[A]

Where's a little relaxing scene.

[B]

See how many theaters there are in the valley that you can go to. You know where they are, you liar. They're all over Burbank. Burbank has three movie theaters within a mile of one another. Yeah, and they're so close to your house.

[A]

What's what I love about going to the movie?

[B]

Smoking outside.

[A]

That's not why.

[B]

Is that Bobby Lee?

[A]

That's not why, dude.

[B]

You love it.

[A]

Love it too. I. Anyone going to a movie theater, I want to let you know, like, I went to go see with my mom. Noo.

[B]

Did you like it?

[A]

I. I have my opinions about it.

[B]

All right. But vampiric.

[A]

You saw it?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. And what I love about going to the theater with my mom is she's so weird. No one approaches me.

[B]

I love your mom.

[A]

My mom was laying down. Beautiful, you know, where you wait in line to get popcorn. Just off to the side. She had just laid down because her back hurt.

[B]

Let her be comfortable.

[A]

I know. And I was. Me and my brother are just squatting next to her.

[B]

Like, how about this?

[A]

Get up. Right? No, no, my back. My back. Right. And we just. And no one approaches us because they think, you know, I mean, they think it's either a family crisis. Family crisis. Or of an emergency of some sort. Right. But they don't approach.

[B]

If her back hurts, why don't you take her to the recliner seat theater.

[A]

I'm not an elitist like you.

[B]

It's so funny. Elitist. At least it's open to the public. It's literally just a movie theater.

[A]

All right, anyway. So you're back good at the theater?

[B]

I had epidurals. Yeah, it feels so much better now. I had an epidural put in my back. I'm gonna have another one. I gotta have another one put in my.

[A]

Did you see Nos Roto? Yeah, I loved it. You did? Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah.

[B]

I watched a disturbing movie and my last movie of the flight last night.

[A]

What was it called?

[B]

Called A Simple Man. The simple man or A Simple Man. It's old. It's an old movie.

[A]

Coen. Brothers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A simple plan.

[B]

No, simple man. I thought.

[A]

Yeah, a simple man is a combo. Yeah, that's right. Stephen Parks in that.

[B]

Yeah, it was really tough.

[A]

It's hard to watch.

[B]

It was just. It just makes you sad.

[A]

Is it like falling down?

[B]

A serious man. I apologize. I'm serious man. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's really hard to watch. It, like, hurts your heart.

[A]

It's about a man who. What's going on with him?

[B]

Well, it starts with like a Jewish parable at the beginning, and then it goes into this man's life in the 60s, I believe, 50s or 60s. And his. His. I mean, everyone shits on this guy. He's a professor at a university. It's literally no respect. And his wife is, like, leaving him for their fucking neighbor who's like a buddy who, like, comes over and he's like, you know, we're. We're thinking about. We're thinking about you moving out of the house and me moving, like. And he's taking it all on the fucking chin. It's.

[A]

What is Stephen park playing at? He's Korean.

[B]

He's. He's. I think he's the student. One of the students.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's just a dark look. It's beautifully done, but, man, it was hard to watch. He always. The dad. He's the dad of the student.

[A]

That's right. Let's do it. Wow.

[B]

It was just one of those movies where you're like, it's. It's.

[A]

But does he snap?

[B]

Look at that. He's hugging his wife's lover.

[A]

Well, does he snap?

[B]

You can watch the movie. I bet you could figure it out.

[A]

So it's like falling Down. I thought that movie was Falling Down.

[B]

That dark.

[A]

Very, very dark.

[B]

Very. Well, this is dark in a way that's like. It's. It's shot in such bright, beautiful colors. I mean, bright, beautiful for the time period that it looks happy, but it feels atrocious. And he's trying to get tenure and nobody wants him to get tenure.

[A]

Life is hard, huh?

[B]

It's a guy that, like. Yeah. You're surprised he doesn't jump.

[A]

Yeah. I thought Falling down was the best representation of Los Angeles I've ever seen.

[B]

Better than, like, swingers? Because Swingers to me.

[A]

Yeah, because, you know, there was a scene where he's like, going on. Off ramp on the 101 or whatever. It's so trafficky and just.

[B]

He, like, runs on a golf course.

[A]

The tone of it, it just. And the Just. It just looks like LA to me.

[B]

No. Well, I mean, what about.

[A]

You can just track where he's walking in la. Exactly. You know exactly where.

[B]

Those places. Well, what about. What about. What's wrong with me? Pacino. Yeah. What about Heat?

[A]

That too. Yeah.

[B]

He's so Los Angeles. I mean, like, in fact, in Heat, sometimes when I rewatch that movie, I see the underpasses they're shooting at and I'm like, I know that. I used to drive under there all the time.

[A]

110 in the.

[B]

Yeah, like, that's such a great.

[A]

Like. Like you see Santa Monica and Western. Make that kind of la, where it's like, it doesn't. You can't really see that in movies. It's sort of like. It kind of looks like Mexico.

[B]

Yeah, it looks like when you go to. It looks like when you go to. Down to Mexico, it looks. Oh, it looks very like. What is it called? Barrios. I don't even know what I'm saying.

[A]

You get a mixture of, like Hispanics and then you also get a mixture of like tourists that. I kind of. That made the wrong turn.

[B]

Chinese tours.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, will we? Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Hey, bro, you're in the wrong hood. Can I take you a picture?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Pose dog. That LA is dead, by the way.

[A]

That LA is dead.

[B]

You mean the LA as we know it is dead.

[A]

Why?

[B]

This is a red alert. Red alert. After the pandemic and the fires and the strike, la, we gotta go. I hate to say it to you, buddy, but it's happening. No, no, it's happening. 100. We're leaving.

[A]

Where are we going?

[B]

I don't give a fuck, but we're leaving. We're leaving. We got to go. Dude, what are we doing?

[A]

Because us, me, you and Tim Dylan were talking about, like, we have to stay.

[B]

I know, we said the exact opposite on the show.

[A]

Yeah, we.

[B]

That's the best part about podcast.

[A]

Yeah. We have to. We have to be the last standing.

[B]

We should stay. I don't want to. Yeah, but I'm Gavin Newsom and fucking Karen Bass and all the bullshit of this fucking city and it's never going to get rebuilt right. And the fuck they can't get Hollywood to stay. What are we doing? Yeah, they fucked us up. By the way, I listen to Adam Corolla this morning talking about. He just. This guy has. He's grew up in Los Angeles, he's lived here his whole life. He was talking about how good luck rebuilding Malibu. These people are going to have to fucking try to get permits. Good luck. Why good fucking love. Because it's going to be a billion people trying to get permits from the city of la. And this city is insane with building permits. It's crazy. There's a million rules and restrictions. There's so much regulation in Los Angeles, it's going to take them forever.

[A]

But what if I had a house that burned down? I can't. I have to get a building permit to rebuild my house.

[B]

Of course you do. And you have to get a million different kinds of them. Wow. And never mind that. Talk about all the insurance companies that fucked over all those people. They're never. They're never going to rebuild. Even if they do, it's going to take three years before the Palisades even exist anymore.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

The whole city is fucked.

[A]

Yeah. What are they going to do, these stars and stuff?

[B]

It's not just stars, dude.

[A]

I mean, regular people, too.

[B]

Altadena.

[A]

Cut that out. Yeah, he cut that out. Cut that out. Cut that out. Cut that. No, no, it came out wrong.

[C]

It came out wrong.

[B]

And that's why it has to stay in all.

[A]

No, all people. No, all people.

[B]

Aladina, keep it in. He will.

[A]

Don't you keep it. I don't keep it in.

[B]

No, he keeps.

[A]

I'm scared.

[B]

It's fun.

[A]

Stop, please.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

Yeah, you shut up, dude.

[B]

Let them know who you are.

[A]

No, I don't know who I am. Yeah, yeah, I'm good guy.

[B]

Altadina. Altadena Aladina is like a, A, a regular working class neighborhood. I'm sure there's some nice house there, but it up a lot of people, man. That was the, that was the misinformation of the news. People like, this is just superstars. You're like, dude, it's 30,000 acres.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

So many people. What do you mean? And it's probably. Look at the total acreage that's been burnt in Los Angeles County. And by the way, we're doing this podcast while it's more than Manhattan, it's.

[A]

Bigger than Manhattan is burned.

[B]

Wow. And we're doing this while it's on fire still right now?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People at home.

[A]

Just the Palisades is over. Is bigger.

[B]

17,000. Just the Palisades.

[A]

Also, can they do this? You know what happened? I called you two hours ago. Right.

[B]

Wow. Yeah.

[A]

So they did a evacuation alert on everyone's phone tomorrow. Would you get that on accident? Yeah, on accident, though.

[B]

Yeah. Don't do that, don't do that.

[A]

Who's the guy? Like, what's this John Beep. You know what I mean? And then the like, who's in charge.

[B]

Of that one idiot sitting in a room being like, oh, that scared the out of me. But imagine if you and I had that. We'd be like, do it.

[A]

Oh my God, don't do it. You get fired.

[B]

Yeah. Right away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know how many, what are they called? Amber Alerts I just let out? But I would do Amber Alert. Or one of our. For one of our friends cars. Someone's car that we know at the Comedy Store.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shipstation. You guys, we all have an online business. Do you have one? I mean we do. And we use Shipstation because we only use the best. Life in general can be chaotic. But if you're in charge of order fulfillment for an e commerce business, you know, that's its own special kind of chaos. But with Shipstation, you can count on your day to day remaining calm. Save hours of money every month by shipping from all your stores with one login. Just one, guys. Automating repetitive tasks and fighting the best rates among all the global carriers. Man. You can focus on other parts of your business because you never have to worry about shipping and fulfillment again with Shipstation, guys. Huh? You never need to upgrade. Shipstation grows with your business no matter how big it gets. Lead your business into the future with smart features and automations that boost efficiency and save you time. It's the fastest and most affordable way to ship products to your customers. With discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express and USPS rates up to 90% off FedEx rates. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation.com and use code Bad Friends to sign up for your free trial. That's shipstation.com bad friends shopify. So it's the new year.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's 2025.

[B]

God bless.

[A]

And you're probably thinking, how am I going to make this year different?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Am I going to build something for myself?

[B]

I'd like to.

[A]

I'm dying to be my own boss or see if I can turn this business idea I've been kicking around in my head into a reality. But I don't know how to make it happen.

[B]

Shopify, Bob. Shopify is how you're going to. Is that how I tell you how?

[A]

That's what we did.

[B]

Shopify is the best. They make it very simple to create your brand, open a business, get your first sale, get your store up and running easily with thousands of customizable templates. No coding or design skills required. All you need to do is drag and drop.

[A]

Shopify makes it also easy to manage your growing business. They help with the details like shipping taxes and payments from one single dashboard, allowing you to focus on the important stuff like growing your business.

[B]

What happens if you don't act now? Will you?

[A]

Disaster. It's a disaster.

[B]

It's a disaster. Someone's going to beat you to the idea. So don't do this to yourself. You don't kick yourself when you hear this again in the year because you didn't do anything. You must start working with Shopify now established in 2025. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

[A]

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com bad friends all.

[B]

Lowercase go to shopify.com bad friends to start selling with Shopify today. That's shopify.com/bad friends.

[A]

Sock doc. You know, Guy. Can I call you Guy?

[B]

Call me Guy.

[A]

Sometimes when I, you know, go to a restaurant, I'll, you know, read reviews, you know, I mean I do some research. You do, But I do that for my health. And that's why I'm on ZocDoc.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Okay. Am I too busy? These are excuses.

[B]

You know why? Because ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

[A]

We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty. Andrew. From mental health. Look at me right now. To dental health.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Okay. Primary care to urgent care. Look at me right now. And more.

[B]

And way more. Look, I got a bad little back and I got taken care of. Thanks to Zocdoc you're able to find a doctor very quickly. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance. They're located nearby. And if they're a good fit for any medical need you have, they're highly rated by verified patients. You can see it yourself. You see what other people said to let you know how good they were.

[A]

Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com bad friends to find it instantly. Book and a top rated doctor today.

[B]

That's Zoc Doc. Zoc D O C.com BadFriends ZocDoc.com Bad Friends. You have a. A special Gu. Is he here? I thought you said he's here.

[A]

Oh, who's coming?

[B]

It's a surprise.

[A]

Now I want to know.

[B]

It's a surprise. It's a fun surprise.

[A]

It's a surprise for you. One hits in the room. Wait, how do you. How are you? Do you know? Why do I have to be surprised? Why can't you be surprised?

[B]

Well, if you did any organization for this show whatsoever, then you could.

[A]

Yeah, but why would. I don't want the surprise if you're not going to get a surprise. I. No, you're CC on all the emails, Bob.

[B]

You literally are CCed on everything.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna look at it now then.

[B]

God, which email?

[A]

I'm cc'd in it. It's Amazon. It says Dermacon.

[B]

Hold on, what's Dermacon? Is that a pimple? Pimple?

[A]

It's for my nails. I have high street beast.

[B]

What's high street beast?

[A]

Clothing.

[B]

Sick.

[A]

Oh, wow. Yeah. Sit down.

[B]

What a prince.

[A]

What a prince. Prince. Look at the prince here.

[B]

Dude, less is us.

[A]

Yeah. What happened to your glasses?

[C]

It's gone.

[A]

Why?

[C]

Korean doctor helped me out.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Dr. Paul Lee. Shout out, you know?

[A]

Yeah, shout out.

[B]

Paul Lee.

[A]

You want to wear the cans or do you need them?

[C]

I don't think I need them.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You guys just fine or are you guys playing clips and stuff?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

This isn't your mom's house.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

As. As you got successful, your skin cleared up.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Did I have bad skin?

[B]

No.

[A]

Before, like you almost have perfect skin now.

[C]

That is so weird.

[B]

You look happier. Maybe that's what it is.

[A]

No, there's something about your skin, dude.

[C]

Really? I. I swear I can see the flaws now.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. I thought I used to have perfect skin and now I'm stressed, you know?

[B]

What are you stressed about?

[C]

Just stuff like, you know, you're killing it.

[B]

You got a baby?

[C]

No, no baby.

[B]

Well then what are you stressed about? You met, you're married.

[C]

No, I'm not married.

[B]

You're not married, you don't have a baby. What do you give?

[A]

This is how good Jimmy is doing. This is how good Jimmy's doing. And I want to be honest with you. Your ex girlfriends are girls I couldn't even get. I don't think.

[C]

No, come on, Bobby.

[A]

That's the truth. Let's talk truth and let's talk gospel.

[B]

Let's talk gospel and truth.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Is that the girls? I've seen your ex girlfriends do it.

[B]

Do it like the gospel. Do it in gospel tone.

[A]

Give me an example.

[B]

Have seen your.

[A]

Exactly. I've seen your ex white girlfriend. And they come from the depths of the earth within each other. And the prince of Korea has Come. With his clear skin and his eyes, a purple white.

[C]

Yeah, I appreciate this. Makes me feel good about myself. Bobby, I wasn't expecting this coming in.

[A]

You're killing it.

[C]

No, I appreciate it, but I see your presence. Whenever Bobby steps into a room.

[A]

I have no presence.

[C]

He sits down on a couch and people. People just line up and gather around him. There's an aura.

[B]

There's an aura, brother.

[A]

That's not true. Because the last party I saw you at.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Where who was the aura?

[B]

You.

[A]

You were the oral.

[C]

No, man, no, no, man. You were.

[A]

That was a really old man. And I'll tell you why. All right. Is because we went to Aquafina's New Year's party.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Right, right. And I came, like, late.

[C]

He came late.

[A]

I came late with a woman.

[C]

He was like, the headliner. Coming.

[A]

No, I'm not gonna do the voice. We walk in, who's on the dance floor?

[C]

Was it me dancing?

[A]

You were dancing like a little butterfly.

[C]

I was trying.

[A]

Okay. Like a little cream butterfly. Right. And. And you were the flame. We were the moths.

[C]

No, no, that's how I saw. Keep complimenting.

[A]

Let me stop. Right. And I. Remember me, Gene, Dominic, we all went to you. You didn't come to us. We came to you on the dance floor. We took a photo with you on the dance floor, which means you're the light. Right. And we are the moth.

[B]

Yeah, that sounds like it.

[C]

That's interesting. That's how you saw it. Because how I saw it was you arrived.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you were like, there's a beautiful woman next to you. And she was very doting. And every time I'll talk to you or like, you know, I'll talk to her, she was like, I gotta go. Bobby's right there.

[B]

I gotta take care of him.

[C]

Were like, the king.

[A]

She's my concubine.

[C]

Yeah, there you go. Boom.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And were there any whites at the party? Other than the one.

[C]

There's some whites.

[A]

He's always. He's always with the white. What is up with you and the whites as of late?

[B]

He loves the whites. As of late?

[C]

I don't.

[B]

He loves the whites.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

No, no, no. I. I'm. I'm into ethnicity. I dated black girls, Asian girls, you know, white girls. I think that my ex girlfriend was very white.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I think people just assume that. But also, I don't know, like, growing up in Hong Kong, when everyone was Asian, like white people was exotic to me. Like how white guys here Obsess over Asian girls. Cuz it's exotic.

[B]

Certain kinds of white guys, maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, weirdo white guys do.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Creepy white like George.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Look at tell. Look, take one look at that guy, tell me his wife is Asian for sure. Asian chick, 100% for sure. It's a kind of white guy that's obsessed with it. Now, I find Asian women beautiful, but there's a certain kind of white guy that like obsesses over Asian women.

[A]

Yeah, he is.

[C]

He does.

[B]

He. Oh my.

[A]

No. But. Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna ask you a question.

[B]

There you go. Mark Zuckerberg.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. She placed the violin. She's a violinist, I think. Yeah.

[B]

It's always weirdo white guys, dude.

[A]

It's always white girls on Raya that I match with. You know what it always says?

[C]

What?

[A]

In common with Jimmy Oyang.

[C]

No, Come on, man.

[B]

It says it right there. I see it.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

Damn, dude, you know her.

[C]

I do not know her.

[A]

Come closer. You do know her.

[B]

He does.

[C]

I do know her.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Let me see.

[A]

What?

[B]

Let me see this girl.

[A]

Ex girlfriend.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Okay, how do I see your photos?

[A]

I'll show you.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[C]

Wait, Bobby, did you talk to her?

[A]

Well, I did. I forgot to read the Jimmy part. So I did say hi.

[B]

This is how you know she loves Asian guys. Bruce Lee is one of her profile photos. I know Bruce Lee is one of her profiles.

[C]

Yeah, but that's a good tell. That's like. Like you in.

[A]

No, but that's.

[B]

And Jackie Chan.

[A]

I know, I understand that.

[B]

I'm not exaggerating.

[A]

That's. I sort of got it as right, so. But. But she. This is what I find. Because I want to say this one time.

[B]

You look good, dude.

[C]

What?

[A]

What? Me? Wow.

[B]

Hot guy, huh?

[A]

Let me look. Let me look hot, dad. So one time you were at the Improv. This is years ago. And you had a girlfriend, right? She dressed in an Asian thing. She was a white girl.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. And then she also had a. Her purse had like pearls in it. But it looked like, you know, the green J.D. you know what I mean? It looked like an Asian bag.

[B]

For real?

[A]

Yeah. So I'm wondering, with this girl, I think you're the influence. Oh. Once they meet you, they become more Asian. And then now. You mean it opens them up to our market.

[C]

That's. You know what? Let's put that out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

She was already predisposed to Asian dudes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Jimmy.

[B]

Jimmy is the. Once you Go black means the once.

[C]

Once you go yellow, you bang Bobby Lee also, you know, that's. That's.

[A]

Once you go yellow, you find yourself another Asian fellow. I think that's what it is. That's it. You're the opening. So, you know, but. Because I felt that too, where I've like, dated a white girl and then they were like, you go to their house and you go, oh, yeah, they. They're prone to us.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[B]

Yeah, they're aware.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There's like a poster of, like, watch Mulan or something. Yeah. And then there's like, you know, a lot of bamboo and bonsai trees.

[B]

Those are Chinese stress.

[A]

Yeah, Those stress parts. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

George has those in his dinner table. 100.

[C]

It's a different time, though. I feel like now with so much representation, like with squid games, BTs, everything.

[B]

Too much.

[C]

Who isn't into Asians? Like, I wish I grew up, like, I went to high school and middle school now. I think some of them are different, Jimmy.

[A]

Some of them are not. And you've. You've seen them, have you not?

[C]

I think so. I think so.

[A]

But they just won't. They won't do it.

[B]

What are you talking about?

[A]

Some white girls, they just won't cross that line.

[B]

Some girls in general are just not interested. I'm saying it's like a. You're making.

[A]

I just don't like the way you said it. Yeah, why did you say it?

[B]

Like, some women aren't interested, period. It has nothing to do with you being Asian. They're just not interested.

[A]

They're not interested in my type.

[B]

Your type is not. Because you're.

[C]

Your type is specific. You know. Hey, so is my type.

[A]

Wait, wait. My type. Wait, my type specific? Are you fucking telling me what, that you and I are on two completely different categories?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. So tell me what the category I'm in. I don't.

[C]

Andrew. Andrew Carlos somebody. I mean, third person point of view.

[B]

Here's what I would say. Yeah, Jimmy is. I understand he's a starter on Arsenal. And you're. You're in the locker room and you're there and you're cheering on the boys and you're on the team, but you're not on. You're not on a midfield, by the way. This is.

[A]

Is that what you're saying?

[C]

He's a superstar.

[B]

He's a superstar.

[C]

That's not what I was saying.

[B]

The kid's a fucking superstar.

[C]

No, come on, guys.

[B]

We know he is 100.

[A]

Is.

[B]

He is. Well, what do you guys doing? Better than me.

[A]

What are you guys talking about? That's not true.

[C]

You own your own studio podcast.

[A]

You have staff.

[C]

You have staff of white people.

[A]

People.

[B]

Well, first of all, he's. He's actually half Mexican, so that's. We got points for him.

[C]

Carlos, I heard about you, man. One of my best friend, pj, a big fan of the podcast, says he liked Glory Holes.

[B]

He loves.

[A]

That's getting around, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm glad it's getting around.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know what? Honestly, you. You're here. Let's. Let's squash this now. Your appeal for women is just different than yours. You get plenty of beautiful women. They're just different kinds of women.

[A]

I get it. I've accepted it.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah. I'm not fighting against the.

[B]

Because I've seen beautiful women with you.

[A]

You know, but what I'm saying is, is that I have to say that it's. He's still in a different category.

[B]

Yep. So is Carlos and I. So we're.

[A]

In the same category. That's my problem.

[B]

No one's casting you guys in the same. You guys are. No. Okay.

[A]

So I was up for the Joe Coy part. Did you do that part? Well, I produced that movie, Easter Sunday.

[B]

It's his fucking movie.

[C]

Which part? The. The one I saw Ali end up playing.

[B]

What, the one.

[C]

The bad guy part.

[B]

The bad guy?

[A]

No, there was a part that he said he had written for me that I got offered. I said I did. I couldn't do it because I was doing Borderlands.

[C]

Oh, I think there was a part. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I don't remember my part.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Because my part. I couldn't do another part, so I was like, okay, okay.

[A]

I'm not sad. Okay. But I've also been in other situations where Jimmy Oyang got the part and I didn't get it.

[B]

But that's just. Because it's.

[A]

But this. But it was for the same part. Was. I'm saying that he beats me out.

[B]

They just want to see how.

[A]

So if we're in the same category when it comes to.

[C]

I think that's a very broad. Like, it's.

[B]

It's.

[C]

It's. It's not. It's Hollywood's issue that at times we're in the same category.

[B]

Correct.

[C]

Because if Santino and, like, who will be, I don't know, like, another white guy, that would be totally different.

[B]

Like, you and me and Anthony Jeselnik aren't going to go off for the same fucking role.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like you and Patton Oswald could go out for different roles, but you guys are very different people. Or you and Ryan Gosling kick off with different roles. I'm not saying you're. You know. I'm just saying.

[B]

Yeah, no, you're right.

[C]

All very different people. And. And sometimes it's just people are dumb. Like, the category could also just be Asian, Asian guy, funny guys, or whatever. Right.

[A]

Like.

[C]

Or whatever. It's. It's different. You okay, Bobby?

[B]

He's a little shocked. He's a little stunned. He's. He got a little hit. He got a little hit.

[A]

I'm good. I'll agree with you.

[B]

Well, also.

[A]

No, no, stop, stop.

[B]

Well, you're also different in age. I mean, Jimmy's 37 years old, and.

[C]

Also Korean and Chinese. Very different, you know?

[B]

Well, that part I don't know about.

[A]

I. I understand that. I understand that. I know we're different.

[B]

Yeah. He's Chinese.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

Do you know what I mean?

[A]

I take. Take that back.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I'm older also.

[B]

Be nice to the Chinese.

[A]

I love the Chinese.

[B]

Just be nice.

[A]

I love the stuff.

[B]

Just be nice.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because he gets on his little high horse, and he doesn't.

[A]

Oh, you think that I.

[C]

What's the high horse? What's the.

[B]

He starts spouting hatred about China, he'll do it. He'll just crack one open and start flying off the handle.

[A]

Well, I mean, you guys don't know how to wait in line.

[B]

See? How do I wait in line? We talked about it.

[A]

You guys don't even know how to.

[C]

In mainland China.

[A]

Something Everywhere. Okay.

[B]

Oh, no. Here.

[A]

Everywhere. Baskin Robbins. It doesn't matter where it is.

[B]

Chinese be. Skipping lines, dude. Oh, for real?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Chinese be.

[A]

I mean, you guys are the ones that. We go, oh, my God. There they go again.

[C]

I can't support. Support that stereotype. Maybe in certain parts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They'd be skipping. Chinese people skipping line. Do. Skipping in line. Skipping line.

[A]

Yeah. Look at all those people skipping in line.

[B]

They're all skipping somebody.

[A]

Or. What are your qualms about? Chinese? Yeah.

[B]

Is that a Chinese word? What's qualms?

[A]

Is that a. Is that a real word?

[B]

Yeah, qualms is good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My issues.

[A]

What are your issues about Chinese? Do you have any.

[B]

What's my qualm with Chinese people?

[A]

Anything about it? The culture. Let's start with the food.

[B]

Okay. How about this? I can't do that. Chinese food is really good.

[A]

It's good.

[B]

I like it a lot. I really like Chinese food.

[A]

Yeah. Like, what's this Cantonese stuff and Szechuan, you know, I mean, like, pick one.

[B]

Thing, you know, I mean, Szechuan. Love Szechuan. What do you mean? Hotter the better. I think Chinese is hard to. Chinese food is hard because I really love that.

[A]

Yeah, but when it's bad, it's bad.

[B]

How about this one? The language we've talked about. The language is harsh. It's sharp.

[C]

Well, which one? There's also a lot.

[B]

Well, Mandarin.

[A]

Okay. What's the one that you are?

[C]

I. I can speak a few, but that's arrogant. I'm not saying that. No, no, because I grew up, like, I grew up in Hong Kong, but my parents speak Shanghainese, and then.

[A]

Okay, so if I'm in Hong Kong, let me. Cantonese. Yeah, yeah. Say something in Cantonese. I'm gonna see if it's harsh.

[B]

How about this? Say, say, hey, you guys, save me a seat when you get to the restaurant. Not in that world, lady.

[C]

I found theme.

[B]

See, it's like. Jesus.

[A]

It's like a machine gun going off. Yeah.

[B]

Now listen in Korean. Save me a seat when you get there.

[A]

What?

[B]

In Korean, save me.

[A]

I don't know how to say that.

[B]

Make it up.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Very nice. I'm gonna say.

[C]

No, he's saying it very softly.

[A]

That's.

[C]

That's. He's like. Never heard that tone.

[B]

That's how they talk.

[A]

That's how we talk.

[B]

On the run for their life. They have to be yelling, give me the Korean. Let's hear it. That's Korean. Here we go. Pretty similar.

[A]

So. Yeah, that's. Yeah.

[C]

Do they have cantones? They might not. Cantones. Just put man in it.

[A]

Yeah, let's go.

[C]

Oh, there you go.

[B]

Cantonese. Let's hear it.

[C]

That's new.

[A]

They don't have it.

[B]

God bless for.

[A]

Because they don't have enough. Because they can't get a voice over a guy that has harsh. Go Mandarin.

[B]

No, just do. Just do Chinese traditional.

[A]

Let's go Chinese man.

[C]

Yeah, simplified.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

Traditional, simple.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

So nice.

[B]

You know what? They had to put it with a woman's voice.

[A]

Just exactly.

[C]

Why is that?

[A]

What?

[B]

What is that?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's just an aggressive thing, you know? And, you know, what's up with tai chi? Is that a martial arts or is it a meditative thing you're doing?

[B]

It's a little bit of both.

[A]

I've never seen anyone fight anyone with tai chi.

[C]

I don't think he have you Tai chi. It's an exercise.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Dude. How is this a martial arts dude? There's no way.

[C]

See, that's the opposite aggressive.

[A]

You know, that is true. That there's nobody.

[C]

No Asians more aggressive than Koreans, I think.

[A]

Yeah. I don't care how long that's.

[C]

Koreans will kick your ass.

[B]

Yes, they will.

[C]

For good and for bad.

[A]

Like, don't ever forget that.

[C]

I don't ever.

[B]

I don't.

[C]

I don't with you, Bobby.

[A]

Yeah, don't with me. Okay.

[B]

What about Japanese, though? They. Japanese got. How do you feel about wild?

[C]

I. I don't know.

[A]

A lot.

[C]

There's not a lot of, like, authentic Japanese people in la. I feel like I like Japan. I like that.

[B]

What does that say about Japanese that they don't want to live in la? That's interesting, because there's a lot of Korean and a lot of Chinese here, but not a lot of Japanese.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why not?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

You think it's a superiority thing? Because a lot. He always says they have a superiority complex. Did you have.

[A]

I never said that.

[B]

Yeah, you do. You said that like they're.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

What do you mean? We have that on tape. Yeah.

[A]

You say.

[B]

You said they think they're the best. You say that all the time.

[A]

They are the best. Okay. What the.

[B]

What are we saying then? I just said what you said.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They have. You said they have a superiority complex. They think they're complex. They think that was a legitimate act.

[A]

But don't you think that they're perceived as the best or. No. What do you think?

[B]

I think it's because they project. That is what I think.

[C]

They run their country very well. There's good food. There's a good sense of respect there. There's a. A high speed railway, you know, That's.

[A]

A very good one.

[C]

You know, I think logically they're doing pretty good.

[B]

I'm a big fan of Japan.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Big fan of Japan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

By the way, I'm going to Hong Kong for the first time. You.

[C]

Are you touring there?

[B]

No, I'm doing. I'm doing like, a new show that I'm doing, so I'm gonna go there for a couple of days.

[A]

Is that when you're gonna go to Korea? That same time?

[B]

We're gonna go to Korea right after.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, that's. Wait, what kind of show is this? Like a travel show?

[B]

No, it's like a. There's like an alternative golf league, and I'm started, like a little. A little show that I'm doing with them where I'm talking like a walk and Talk with players and we just goof around and get, like, a glimpse of their life.

[C]

That's the dream.

[B]

I do.

[A]

It's a big drink for him.

[B]

For me, it actually genuinely is.

[A]

Do you play golf? Golf? I. I can't either.

[C]

I don't have the patience.

[A]

Me either. I'm too.

[C]

I'm too angry, too.

[B]

Chinese?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Two Chinese, two Chinese, two Korean, two Chinese.

[A]

You think you could beat me in ping pong?

[C]

I probably now.

[B]

That's you guys's golf, you know? Well, ping pong is Asian golf.

[C]

Ping pong is a weird thing because first of all, people assume I'm good at ping pong. And I used to be really good, okay? Because I trained when I was a child in Hong Kong, you know? But now it's really shameful because I haven't played in so long, people assume I'm good, and I'm actually not good. I can't.

[A]

But you just said that you could beat me even though you're not good. Go yourself.

[C]

No, if I, you know.

[A]

Yeah, I can beat you.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

By the way. By the way, he crossed his legs so eloquently as he said, yeah, I probably. Probably could beat you.

[C]

This is a very uncomfortable chair.

[A]

What do you guys want me to do?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Because I was leaned up. I don't want your audience to be.

[A]

Like, oh, he seems uncomfortable sat in that chair.

[C]

You know?

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Jack Black sat on that chair. Chair.

[B]

A lot of famous people.

[A]

A lot of famous people sat on that chair. Wow.

[B]

Machine Gun Kelly.

[A]

The pink one, right? Yeah, pink one.

[B]

Oh, sorry about that.

[A]

Stand.

[B]

Stay in the blue one then. Yeah. How's. How's. How's your show, by the way? Everyone seems to. People, like, absolutely love your show.

[C]

And Terry Chinatown.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, man, it was awesome. I think from what I hear, you know, they haven't shared the numbers with us, but from what I hear, people are really liking it.

[B]

Chloe Bennett's on that.

[C]

Chloe Bennett. Ronnie Chang's on it.

[B]

And our good friend Lisa Gilroy, who we love.

[C]

She is amazing, right?

[B]

Number one dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Chloe Bennett. Look at that. Ronnie Chang. We love us. From Ronnie Chan. And that's Alan. Is that Alan?

[C]

No, that's Charles. You.

[B]

Oh, I couldn't see. Showrunner.

[C]

And that's Taika.

[B]

Taika's great. Waititi.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

Good for you. Dude, this is amazing.

[A]

It's huge. It's on Hulu, right?

[C]

Yeah, it's on Hulu.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

Yeah, we love Hulu. We love kids over here. We love we got specials coming out on Hulu.

[C]

Oh, really? Both of you?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, maybe I should do one. Wait, Bobby, I thought you're. You're the first piece of advice. Bobby told me when I was coming up, he was like, don't ever do a stand up special material and then you can tour with the same material in colleges for 20 years.

[B]

30. Yeah, 30.

[C]

Yo, yo. That was sound advice. You know, he's like, why would you want to do a special? And then now you have to write and the whole new hour.

[B]

We literally. I took that.

[C]

I took that to heart, man. You know, did what you did.

[A]

You didn't go by my suggestion.

[B]

You've done. You've done a few.

[C]

I don't. I seriously, I. I swear, like when I said, okay, I'll do one and I'll quit.

[A]

Quit? Yeah.

[C]

And I said, I'll do my second one for this amount of money and I'll quit.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Then, you know, it's just too fun, man. This is what we do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's so much fun.

[C]

Bobby, this is your. Well, how many specials have you done now?

[A]

None.

[C]

So this is your first one. This is huge.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

It's a big deal.

[C]

This is huge.

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[C]

When is it coming out?

[A]

We don't know yet, but you know, we do it.

[B]

He filmed.

[A]

I can't believe that.

[B]

End of this year.

[A]

I can't believe that I gave you that suggestion.

[C]

It's sound advice.

[A]

Yeah, but you didn't go with advice.

[C]

Only 10 years later.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but him going against your.

[B]

Advice worked out pretty well for him.

[A]

I think we did it when you were in. I know. I remember the day. It was when I was living in.

[C]

The apartment on Beechwood when I did Tiger Belly.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That's when I gave you the advice. Yeah, I remember now.

[B]

The Beechwood days, the beach. Where are you living now? You're still in Los Angeles, aren't you?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is your house okay?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Were you scared last night? I was.

[C]

I went to K Town and they didn't evacuate my place, but I'm like, dude, let me just go to the hotel in K Town, grab all my stuff.

[B]

Stuff?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are you gonna do, man? You stay in la?

[A]

I don't. I.

[C]

You know. You know what I like? I like Vancouver.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

I've shot a couple things in Vancouver. Yeah, it's really nice. Great Chinese food. It's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So expensive.

[A]

So expensive.

[C]

But I mean, it's expensive anywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, no, not in Idaho.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Montana.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But see, these are places great for you, like, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? To me, good. Thank you. It's good for you.

[B]

And back in the day, everyone's like, this whole country was great for people like me. And then we let you guys in.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because everyone's like, why don't you move to Texas? Why don't you move to.

[B]

No, we don't.

[C]

Nashville, whatever. I'm like, that's not.

[A]

But Texas, right.

[C]

For me.

[A]

It's okay for you.

[C]

No, no, it's fine.

[A]

You kill in tech.

[C]

I like it just like I like it here. I can, you know, assimilate. I can make all kinds of. All my friends with different ethnicities. But, like, Vancouver, like, I just felt like home. I felt like Hong Kong. It's very, very majority. And I felt there's a. The weird, like, familiarity and safeness and the food just makes sense to me there.

[B]

Yeah, Canada's great, man.

[A]

Here's the thing about whites anywhere else. Okay. It's not that they have hatred, is that they don't see people like us often. Like a night when I was in Butte, Montana, shooting that movie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was at an AA meeting. Okay. And some guy was pouring coffee in people's glasses. The guy came up to me and goes, hey, man, sorry we don't have any green tea.

[C]

That's. That's a very accommodating.

[A]

Right. And I go.

[B]

Actually pretty polite.

[A]

I drink coffee too, man.

[B]

You know, I mean, we know, but what happens when you do drink coffee? I don't want you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't be kung fu.

[A]

It's somebody that, like, doesn't. Isn't around us that often, and then they just want to be nice.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

But it comes out, you know, I mean, a little racist, but I don't mind that. It's just people are just. Just trying to get. Acclimate themselves to us. Yeah.

[C]

It's not malicious. I don't feel bad after that happens, but I feel like, could I really be friends with this man?

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Maybe it'll be hard.

[C]

It'll be an uphill battle, you know?

[B]

Well, we're gonna. We're leaving. We're moving.

[A]

We're not moving.

[B]

Bob and I are moving.

[C]

Where are you guys going?

[B]

We figured, how's. How can we get the most central in the United States? And it's Missouri. We're going to Missouri. It's the most central state in the United States. So we're going to Missouri.

[A]

I'll go to Las Vegas. That's it. It.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

You'll move to Las Vegas?

[B]

100%. Let's go.

[C]

Yeah, Tax free, dude.

[B]

This place. Let's get the. Let's go to Vegas.

[A]

I think it'd be better, huh?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

We can get. How about this? I'll do this.

[B]

We'll get.

[A]

Keep our houses here.

[B]

Nah, this place. Let's get out.

[A]

I love my house.

[B]

Keep your house.

[C]

Are you guys safe? The house good?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we're good. We're good. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

He's. He's lucky. He. The fire was right near him. Yeah, we're very lucky you guys are in the hills. It's different for. You guys are threatened all the time. Us in the flats, we're not that.

[A]

If I call a. A. This is new. If I call Asian. My Asian sister. Sisters. No, no. What I'm asking you is what's the problemo? Poor.

[B]

Well, I'll tell you. That is a black cultural nickname for black women sisters. You don't do that. You guys don't do that.

[A]

Can I say brothers then?

[B]

Absolutely not.

[C]

Well, you can say like in. In Korean, isn't it Hyung?

[A]

Right?

[C]

Yeah, like, we can say some like and. And like, you know, in. In Mandarin. So yeah, maybe we got to bring that back.

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, so we can't.

[C]

Oh, you can't even. We can't.

[A]

We can't even. We can't even reference our Asian friends.

[B]

Female friends.

[A]

Female friends as anything remotely sister or anything like that?

[B]

No. And let me tell you something, pal. You want to do that in Vancouver, you can. But here in my country yet. No, I think it's just a. It's a black cultural thing that when I hear somebody non black go like. Like my sisters or brothers, I'm always like, no, I don't do that. That's a black thing, dude. That's theirs. You going to take more stuff from black people?

[C]

But no, but like brother. You know, like.

[A]

Tell me about brother. Yeah, brother.

[B]

It's because he does it with such. Well, he's also said the NW a few times on tape. They have him. Yeah, yeah, they caught him.

[A]

Him, right.

[B]

No, you know what it is?

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's. It's just I can't have Asians do it again. That's what I'm saying. Can't have them do it again. You guys did it with Black Lives Matter. You overtook them. You did eight. You did. Stop Asian hate.

[C]

You remember two different incidents.

[B]

Don't even start it. Black Lives Matter was humming along. They were moved. That train was chugging along. And then here comes Stop. Asian Hate it right in its tracks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You remember.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And everyone forgot about it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, so I will. Well, Jimmy and I, when we go back to the meeting.

[B]

Yeah, when you go back.

[A]

We have our meeting once a month. Yeah. You know, I mean, and you know, Stephen, you. Everyone goes. Yeah, And. And we have some of our. Can I call them sisters now? But like, yes, like Aquafina, one of our sisters. We're gonna change the lingo. That's the lingo now, but we'll just give it. We'll come up with a new one.

[B]

But right now we can word what's what. We'll give it a word. What was the thing you said in Mandarin?

[C]

May is like little sister and then perfect. Same cook is older brother. You know, there's different.

[B]

Yeah, you're Maymay and your cucas.

[C]

And that's not. That sounded. That sounded kind of cool.

[A]

I could be Chinese.

[B]

Yeah, well, then be Chinese, bud. You're gonna be.

[A]

Oh, I want. Oh, you know what, dude? I'll be Chinese.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz I don't want to steal any more words.

[C]

Or you can be.

[A]

You can be Hyung Young.

[C]

Okay, you are young.

[A]

But now what you're saying, Jimmy, is we have to memorize every Japanese. What? Brother and sister. I'm not going to do all that.

[B]

You're not hanging out with Japanese people. We already talked about this.

[A]

Okay. Or Vietnamese. Like, what's the Vietnamese?

[B]

Not hanging out with them either.

[A]

I am.

[B]

No, you're not. For you, it's. It's Korean, Chinese, Filipino. Those are the three.

[A]

I don't know what you're doing right now, but I don't like it.

[B]

It's working.

[A]

I don't like it.

[B]

Now let's. Let's go backwards.

[A]

Let's go back.

[B]

Obviously you can call. Obviously you can call him sister. I'm fucking joking. Jesus Christ. What show are we on? But the South Asian hate thing was funny.

[A]

That was good. That was good.

[B]

It's fucking funny, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, let me say this. Jimmy Oyang is the best, probably one of the greatest comedian, friends, actors, performers, souls in the comedy business. We love you so very much.

[A]

You're so, so, so nice.

[B]

I think you're one of the greatest out there. Known you for a long time. Funny dude. Great dude. You seem to not really miss a stride. You're pretty good. You're pretty good, man.

[C]

And you guys, man, I. I tell Bobby this every time, bro. I fucking look up to this guy. Don't ever, ever Ever since I was young, you know, my dad, like, was about to buy a ticket to the Improv on a night that I wasn't going to be there. But you were there. He was like, I'm going to go watch my hero, Bobby Lee.

[A]

I want to meet your dad. Yeah.

[C]

Well, are you coming to the show at the Forum?

[A]

Yeah, I am. Yes, please. When is that?

[B]

Well, you're playing the Forum.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And he asked me to do a little set.

[C]

February 28th. We going to. I. I would invite. I love you, but I'm trying to make it, like an Asian thing for my brothers.

[B]

Oh, I don't. I'm sorry for your mongs and your pickpocks.

[A]

Oh, is it. Are there other Asians you asked to be on it? Who else is on it? Yeah.

[C]

Do you? I don't want to give away the whole lineup, but I. I'll tell you later.

[A]

So let's. Let's promote some of the things. Jimmy. So Jimmy, do what you. You. So you have the TV show on Hulu.

[C]

Interior Chinatown.

[A]

He's gonna. The Forum you're playing.

[C]

Yeah, the forum. LA. February 28th. On February 28th.

[A]

Yeah. I might be doing it. Yeah, yeah, I know.

[C]

Surprise. Yeah.

[A]

Number three. What else? Your Instagram handle. What is it?

[C]

It's Jimmy O. Yang.

[A]

Jimmy O. Yang.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And please support our brother here. He's one of the best. I've always loved him.

[B]

He's one of the greatest. So go see him if you're in LA. Come see him at the forum February 28th. Jimmy.com.

[C]

Jimmy.Com. Jimmy comedy dot com. I own many websites. I own plenty of fish sauce dot com. I own celeb, dick size dot com. They all just redirect to my.

[B]

Yeah, awesome.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So China, Chinese of you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So advantageous. We're gonna buy all the website. It's brilliant.

[A]

You ever get my one last question, if I may please wrap it up. Have you ever had a white girl see your penis and be surprised how big it is?

[B]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[A]

Who dance.