Yellow Peril & Cave Butter

Summary

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Bad Friends – "Yellow Peril & Cave Butter"

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Release Date: October 13, 2025

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Overview

In this lively episode, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino dive deep into the quirks of movie theater snacks, the art of sneaking food into cinemas, and their dreams of gourmet popcorn. They touch on aging pets, gym struggles, growing up with or without privilege, and the realities of chasing fame. The conversation is as unpredictable and hilarious as ever, peppered with memorable tangents and quick-witted banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Aging Pets and Mortality

Timestamps: 01:16 – 03:12

• Andrew opens up about caring for his aging dog who now needs to be carried up hills, leading to a heartfelt (yet comedic) lament about dogs getting old.
• Bobby shares his own struggles with his blind, deaf dog Remy, revealing plans to hold off euthanasia until after Christmas:

  "We’re doing Christmas, we'll put him down maybe in January." (Bobby, 02:45)

• The segment turns existential, with both hosts musing about loss, mortality, and even considering full-body health scans.

2. Dealing with Fame and Public Spaces

Timestamps: 04:02 – 05:19

• Andrew teases Bobby for supposedly hating fame but always going to crowded theaters like The Grove, while Andrew seeks out quieter venues.
• Both vent about tired pre-movie ads, especially the drawn-out Nicole Kidman video and the excessive Coca-Cola commercials.

3. Movie Theater Snack Culture: Obsessions & Innovations

Timestamps: 08:23 – 16:14

• Discussion shifts to movie concessions, criticizing the "butter-like oil" used on popcorn:

  "How do you get the butter at the bottom of the bucket?" (Bobby, 09:46)

• Andrew details his “psychopath” strategy:

  "I squirt a cup of butter... and I sip the butter." (Andrew, 09:51)

• They brainstorm elevating cinema snacks: Indian (multicolored) corn, "cave butter" (after discussing crown finish cave-aged butter at David Chang’s Majordomo), and custom mix-ins (M&Ms, candied nuts).
• They imagine a premium popcorn experience akin to "a yogurt chop," layering high-end fixes and even hiding a "good luck blueberry" in each bucket.

4. Price Gouging and Sneaking Food into Theaters

Timestamps: 19:21 – 22:28

• Bobby reacts to $30 price tags for simple movie snacks, and both laugh about the creative ways people sneak everything from coffee to 40oz beers into theaters:

  "The only reason I [don’t sneak food] now is because I just… don’t feel like bringing shit in." (Andrew, 20:18)

• Bobby reminisces about "cupping" drinks the way he hid cigarettes in high school, and Andrew invites fans to share their wildest theater-smuggling stories.

5. Wild Movie Theater Stories

Timestamps: 22:00 – 23:00

• Bobby admits to once peeing on the floor during Evil Dead as a kid to spite his cousin (who didn’t want to watch Empire Strikes Back). Andrew is astonished but not surprised:

  "It was normal back in the '80s." (Bobby, 22:26)

6. Dangerous Vacations & Panic Attacks

Timestamps: 28:50 – 32:38

• The hosts discuss a viral video of a woman dying during parasailing after unclipping her harness mid-air due to a panic attack.
• Spirals into a broader critique of unsafe tourist attractions and Bobby’s dark waterpark fantasy:

  "I have a morbid fantasy of creating a water park… but everyone dies on each ride." (Bobby, 31:09)

7. LA vs. Elsewhere & 'Fantasy' Upbringings

Timestamps: 42:04 – 44:57

• Bobby expresses envy of LA natives like Charlie Sheen and Keanu Reeves, dreaming of an alternate life among Malibu’s Hollywood kids, but Andrew reassures him:

  "You were born to be Bobby Lee. ...You were going to be you." (Andrew, 44:49)

8. Stand-Up, Spite, and the "You'll See" Mentality

Timestamps: 49:53 – 51:12

• Bobby reveals plans for his Hulu special, aiming to meet only the bare minimum required:

  "I'm doing least possible." (Bobby, 50:17)

• He shares his lifelong drive:

  "My whole life has been... 'You can't do it. It's not gonna happen.' And I always do it, and I always prevail..." (Bobby, 51:02)

9. Fitness, Insecurity, and Body Types

Timestamps: 51:41 – 56:22

• Bobby discusses his struggle to use gym machines and his obsession with fitness as part of a personal reinvention attempt, while Andrew encourages practical, at-home training:

  "My thinness isn’t good...I still look fat." (Bobby, 54:25)

• They joke about being "desserts": flan (Bobby), baguette (Andreas).

10. Language, Identity, and Pop Culture

Timestamps: 47:52 – 49:53

• A playful look at the origins of the “Fu Manchu” mustache, the legacy of "Yellow Peril," and Bobby floating "Yellow Peril" as a possible special name.
• Debate over Bad Bunny as a Super Bowl performer and the prevalence of Spanish in the U.S.

11. Sex, Awkwardness, and Old School Internet

Timestamps: 60:20 – 61:48

• The crew riff on sexual "moves" like "fire and ice" and "blumpkin," landing on awkward hilarity over the absurdity of it all.
• Nostalgia for classic viral gross-out videos like “cake farts” and “two girls one cup.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On facing pet loss:

  "We're doing Christmas. We'll put him down maybe in January." — Bobby Lee (02:40)

• On handling popcorn butter:

  "I squirt a cup of butter… I eat the popcorn and I sip the butter." — Andrew Santino (09:52)

• On movie theater prices:

  "We got a large popcorn…a Diet Coke. Thirty bucks." — Bobby Lee (19:37)

• On LA Upbringings:

  "You were born to be Bobby Lee. No matter where you were placed… you were going to be you." — Andrew Santino (44:49)

• On gym confusion:

  "I didn't know how any of the machines worked either. …You don't even know how to get in them. It's like a pole away, and you don't know how to put the stick in." — Bobby Lee (52:16)

• On the 'you’ll see' attitude:

  "My whole life has been... 'You can't do it. It's not gonna happen.' And I always do it, and I always prevail..." — Bobby Lee (51:02)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Pet Mortality & Full Body Scans: 01:16 – 03:12
• Popcorn Butter & Snack Innovations: 08:23 – 16:14
• Sneaking Food into Theaters: 19:21 – 22:28
• Dream Movie Theater (Indian Corn & Cave Butter): 15:13 – 16:02, 59:13 – 59:53
• Dangerous Amusement Parks & Parasailing Stories: 28:50 – 32:38
• Alternative Life/Fantasy Childhoods: 42:04 – 44:57
• Fitness & Gym Insecurity: 51:41 – 56:22
• Language, Identity, and 'Yellow Peril': 47:52 – 49:53

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Tone and Style

The episode is high-energy, irreverent, and filled with the kind of rapid-fire exchanges that define Bad Friends. Both hosts oscillate between sincere vulnerability and wild, unexpected humor, using each tangent as an opportunity for jokes, honest admissions, and self-deprecation. The language is raw, honest, and always leaning into the absurd.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential Bad Friends ride: you’ll bounce between movie theater memories, culinary inventions, intimate self-reflection, and bizarrely candid life advice. Expect plenty of shout-outs to LA culture, cinema snacks, and the kind of friendship where mockery and affection are indistinguishable.

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Closing

The show wraps with Bobby and Andrew dreaming up the most extravagant (and possibly overpriced) popcorn and movie theater combo ever, closing on notes of playful banter about fitness and—of course—the bond that’s made them "bad friends."

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together.

[Andrew Santino]

Use polls to settle dinner plans.

[Bobby Lee]

Send event invites and pin messages so.

[Andrew Santino]

No one forgets mom 60th and never.

[Bobby Lee]

Miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone.

[Andrew Santino]

Learn [e-mail] hey, what's up, bad friends? I am on tour. I'm back out on the road. First up, I do San Francisco. Sadly, that's sold out. I think there's a wait list now. Brea, Southern California. Brea Improv. Come out and see me. Brea. Then I'm gonna be at the Tempe Improv out there in my old stomping grounds of asu. I'm gonna be in Hammond, Indiana, right before Thanksgiving. I'm gonna be at Caesars Windsor in Ontario, Canada. Then I'm going to Bethlehem. Penns Hanover, MD. Atlantic City @ the Borgata that's getting close to being sold out. Valley Center, Harrah's Casino down in Valley center, which is near San Diego. Canyonville, Oregon, over there during Valentine's Day. And then I'm going to be at the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas in March of the new year. So get your ticket to andrewsantino.com andrewsantino.com you2 are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[Bobby Lee]

You two are disgusting. You two are something.

[Andrew Santino]

We're bad friends. What a man, What a man. What a man. What a mighty good man. Yes, he is. I went for a hike today and I had to carry my dog up half of the hill. She's getting old. Oh, no, my heart break. It is so funny. She's getting to the point now where she just lays down when she's over it. You know when dogs, like, sit and they just won't get up because you could, like, come on, come on. She just lay down in the dirt. I was like, please get up and go. Please can we go? And then she just looked up. I was like, I'll pick you. How old is 36?

[Bobby Lee]

Wow, that's good. That's really good.

[Andrew Santino]

She's gonna be nine, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

So I made the decision.

[Andrew Santino]

She's a. She's an old dog.

[Bobby Lee]

We have a dog named Remy. Eyes completely white.

[Andrew Santino]

You're gonna do it, aren't you? You're gonna put her down.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Spine crooked. Dude, bro. What?

[Andrew Santino]

No. But when a dog's eyes significantly stress or fear when they have.

[Bobby Lee]

He's Completely blind. Remy is deaf, Crooked spine. Right. Won't leave his bed. Right. So the vet said you guys might.

[Andrew Santino]

Want to start thinking about don't put him down.

[Bobby Lee]

And I go, we're doing Christmas, we're doing Christmas. I go, we're doing Christmas, we'll put him down maybe in January.

[Andrew Santino]

Put him down on Christmas.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but when I told Jules that information two days ago, we all just started crying.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. I don't want to hear it.

[Bobby Lee]

What? You want to, you don't want to hear the cry?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want to hear how you cry.

[Bobby Lee]

And then you know what? And then you start thinking about your other animals. Cuz I have seven of them.

[Andrew Santino]

They're all going to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And it's just, it's just devastating.

[Andrew Santino]

But we're all going to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to do that full body scan thing you were talking about.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I gotta do it too, because we know a comic that had that done and they found a little something.

[Andrew Santino]

They found a little something in our friend. I want to do a full body scan. Carlos, you should do a full body scan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andreas]

I just got health insurance this summer. I'm excited.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that the first time you've ever had it?

[Andreas]

No, not since I got dropped off my parents like 11 years ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Are your parents disappointed in you? That's what it feels like.

[Andreas]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

How could they look back at their lives on you and they go, oh, we're proud.

[Andreas]

Yeah, because I'm not like, I'm not dead.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you didn't die.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't work like a. I'm, I'm proud of you.

[Andreas]

You are?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. The glory holes, you know, I mean, that stuff's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Very cool.

[Bobby Lee]

I kept on the times you've almost died and survived.

[Andreas]

I kept this job.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's true. Is this the longest job you've ever had?

[Andreas]

Yeah, 100,000%.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, have you thought about quitting ever?

[Andreas]

No, never.

[Bobby Lee]

I love this job. You do?

[Andreas]

Yeah, I love it.

[Bobby Lee]

You got like the fame.

[Andreas]

That's not why.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why. That's projecting.

[Andreas]

That is projecting.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like the fame.

[Andreas]

Oh, you don't?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't have get any fame. I do, but you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't, I, I, I don't bask in it.

[Andrew Santino]

Here's how much Bobby hates the fame. When I said, where'd you go see the movie that we're talking about? He goes, the Grove the most. Look at me, look at me, look at me. Location The Grove. Of all places to go see a movie that. That's like being like. I went to Universal Studios, which I've been to. I know. It's the busiest. You love that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I go to the little quiet as far away.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you go to the hipster one, where all the hipsters say, what's up, man? With their fancy mustaches.

[Andrew Santino]

I go to Burbank.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you don't.

[Andrew Santino]

I. I do. I go. I shouldn't say that, but you went.

[Bobby Lee]

To Echo park or something.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I go to Burbank. Where did I go to see this movie? Yeah. Lemoli on Sunset.

[Bobby Lee]

8.

[Andrew Santino]

8,000 Sunset.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's because I had dinner down there, and it's already.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, can I just say something?

[Andrew Santino]

And it's the only one that had.

[Bobby Lee]

When your lips tighten up, dude, you're starting a fight. You know what it is?

[Andrew Santino]

It's because I'm. My lips are sunburned.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I went to. I usually go to Burbank because I like it. It's quiet. And there's four theaters up there.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you noticed that they. They've cut down the Nicole Kidman video?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'm tired of it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm tired of it. It's too long of a walk. It's too long of a walk. Too much talking much. Right. The audience goes a little too haywire for me. But then Friday night, when I saw one battle after an ex, it was just one thing she said. And I was like, that was perfect. That is good editing.

[Andrew Santino]

You know the scene where they're like, put away your cell phone. Yeah, that thing. I went down to watch a movie in Inglewood.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They run a different pre roll down.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Different pre.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Like, take out your cell phone, turn that on. Text and FaceTime. The whole time, the movie going, it was, Doc.

[Bobby Lee]

As loud as you can.

[Andrew Santino]

Talk as loud as you can. Final moment, walk out to P4 five more times. Yeah, yeah. It was different. Down.

[Bobby Lee]

Start a riot. Start a riot. Start a riot. You know what else I'm tired of?

[Andrew Santino]

Actually, wait, this reminds me. The first time I went to go see Belly in the movie theater. Remember Belly? Bring up Belly. He probably doesn't even remember Belly. Look at how. Look at this movie. I went to go see this in a tough neighborhood.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And dm, spoiler alert. DMX gets killed pretty early on. And a dude, a black dude in front of us stands up. He goes, oh, hell, no. And they walked out. They will. They wanted DMX in the whole fucking move.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I. That's what I do when Michelle Yao dies early.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, hell no.

[Bobby Lee]

I go, I know. No. So I'm tired of.

[Andrew Santino]

God, Belly was such a good movie.

[Bobby Lee]

The Coca Cola commercials with the two people. Right. And then all of a sudden they're race car driving. And then all of a sudden they're dancing. Yeah, right. And then all of a sudden, they're basically just in love on the middle of a New York street. And they hit the Cokes together. I hate that one. And it has nothing to do with it because they're black.

[Andreas]

Okay, good.

[Bobby Lee]

It has nothing to do with. If they were white, it would annoy me, too.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't. No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I met this girl at the Comedy Store. It was Thursday.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then she was like. Then she just kind of made out with me in the hallway.

[Andrew Santino]

Just started making out with you?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, we talked a little bit. Had cigarette. Right. I bought her a drink. Like the Coke commercial?

[Andrew Santino]

Just like the commercial.

[Bobby Lee]

And then we, we race cars dancing. It was crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

It's pretty cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. One battle after another, though.

[Andrew Santino]

That's one of the best movies I've seen.

[Bobby Lee]

Best movies I've ever seen.

[Andrew Santino]

Also underrated. As far as comedy goes. It won't be considered a comedy, but it absolutely is a comedy. It's an action movie, but it's a comedy for sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I, I, I find Leo because of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, too. I think he was very funny in that at times. You?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That. I just think that it's because he plays it real as well. It's, it's interesting. They're funny situations. But he's such a good actor, and when you play it real, that's when it's funny. That's when it's super funny.

[Andrew Santino]

He's not like. Yeah, it's not like a, it's not like, you know, like a Will Ferrell character that he's supposed to be. He is just being funny because this one, the situations are very honest.

[Bobby Lee]

But, yeah, the reaction is yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Benicio was great in it.

[Andrew Santino]

So good. How old is Benicio Del Toro at this point? Let's take a guess.

[Andreas]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

50 something.

[Andrew Santino]

I thought maybe almost 60 by now. 60. Got to be 62 is my guess.

[Andreas]

Do you want to guess, Bob?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I remember when he first came, when he did Usual Suspects. I was at the Mondrian. I was a doorman.

[Andrew Santino]

But how old Was he then?

[Bobby Lee]

30, but he seen My age. But he was, like, on fire because it was. Him and Michael Rappaport were in that Mondrian. I see them, like, dancing with these hot chicks. And I was. And I remember just sitting there by myself with a Diet Coke sipping, going, oh, my God. They. That's the.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the new Hollywood.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I want to ask you this. This is interesting. These newer theaters, these nicer movie theaters now. It's not just the old school snacks. Yeah. The upgrade is crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Crazy, bro.

[Andrew Santino]

They had. We had.

[Bobby Lee]

What's it, Raisinets.

[Andrew Santino]

That's old school.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me guess. Let me guess.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, you're. This is just insane. They had those high end chalk, like, dark chocolate bars with. Mixed in, like, raspberry flakes and all that stuff. And I was like, I'm not getting at the movie theater. And she was like, let's just get it. Just with their popcorn. I can't go back.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The dark milk, the dark chocolate with, like, the raspberry, like the, you know, like the Lindt chocolate bars. You know, those. They had those on display. They had 10 different flavors. I was like, come on, get three or four.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you get the butter at the bottom of the bucket?

[Andrew Santino]

Say it again.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you get the butter at the bottom of the bucket?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you're gonna think I'm a psychopath.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but. Because I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I squirt a cup of butter. I get a side cup for a fountain, and I put butter in it. I eat the popcorn and I sip the butter.

[Bobby Lee]

Like a shock. Like a chaser. A chaser. A butter chaser.

[Andrew Santino]

A butter chaser.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. But how do you do it? Do you. Do you move? Sometimes I try to move it.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh.

[Bobby Lee]

Or you put the butter on top and you do a shake. Like, what do you do? How do you get the butter on the bottom?

[Andrew Santino]

Do you want my secret?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So you get the bucket. You can't get the bag. The bag is an issue.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

You get the bucket.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And you go, hey, can you fill that up just below the line? I know. Don't overflow it. And they fill it up just below the line and you go, can I get a second bucket? I'll pay for just an empty bucket. And I put the bucket on top of the bucket and I shake it like a salad and then mix it all up and I just throw.

[Bobby Lee]

You really do that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I throw away the second bucket.

[Bobby Lee]

That's ingenious.

[Andrew Santino]

It's that of the bucket or the butter shot. I'll do a butter shot too. I'll take a little.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Take a little butterback. Yeah, a little popcorn Butterback.

[Bobby Lee]

What kind of butter is it? It seems like oil.

[Andrew Santino]

It's oil. Butter.

[Bobby Lee]

It's oil.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it's also been sitting in that vat for about 40 days. Yeah, there's no way they clean it.

[Bobby Lee]

Not good for you.

[Andrew Santino]

You know that's how I got sick in college, right?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I got butter. My buddy. My buddy Colin, and I could call him my buddy Colin and I got food poisoning during finals week of college. We went to go see a movie with our buddy, Colorado John. And John was the only guy that didn't eat popcorn. He's like, no, I don't want popcorn, man. And we shared a bucket of popcorn and we got so sick.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you get food poisoning from popcorn?

[Andrew Santino]

From the butter. The butter spoiled.

[Bobby Lee]

Oil butter.

[Andrew Santino]

The butter spoiled.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

The doctor was like, what did you eat? I went down the list. I was like, dude, I had ramen, which literally doesn't go bad. Ramen lasts about 9 million years in that packet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I go, I had ramen for lunch. That's all I ate until we got to the theater. And then Colin had a totally different meal. We both were sick for two full days. I lost like £9. It was insane.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I look good for finals. I wasn't my shirt off. A, B, C. See? Yeah, dude, I was sick. That's the sickest I've ever been. Food poisoning. And the doctor concluded. He was like, well, it had to been the. Did you put. But I said, yeah, of course. We had butter on the pot. He goes, that dude, brother. That's.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

100 what it was. You know, it's also a college campus movie theater. The goons working there are stoned to the bone like us. They're not paying attention. And cleaning. Yeah, Dirty, dirty, dirty.

[Bobby Lee]

So if you go to Majordomo, there used to. They used to have cave butter. And there's a cave somewhere in California where they get the butter.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you. What are you talking about? Butter comes from cows.

[Bobby Lee]

No, there's cave butter, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

So. So it just organically grows in the cave.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, there's like a bat in there. I don't know what it is, but.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, major domo K Butter refers to cave age butter from crown finish cave served at David Chang's restaurant.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying. Right, right. So what I'm saying is crown fish. And you can taste the difference because.

[Andrew Santino]

It'S from a cave.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's definitely cape butter dish. What is no cave butter when I say it's just.

[Andrew Santino]

They store it in a cave. That's all it is.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. That's what I'm saying. I didn't say it's from the cave. There's one cow in there going, how funn.

[Andrew Santino]

There was just a cow. He's exhausted. They're milking him all day long.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Leave me alone.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but what I'm saying is, is you take fancy butter like that, right? And you put that in popcorn somehow.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah, this is like.

[Andreas]

Level it out.

[Bobby Lee]

No, level out because the oil butter is bad for you.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course.

[Bobby Lee]

And. And cave butter is so flavorful. Why don't we just take it to the next level?

[Andrew Santino]

Take it to the next level with the cave butter, please.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you do it? Do you condense the K butter into a liquid form? I don't know. Of course you have to.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it can't be that much more. How much is K butter? Very expensive.

[Bobby Lee]

That's like a thousand dollars a bar.

[Andrew Santino]

Fancy cave butter.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Like elevate the popcorn.

[Andrew Santino]

We must at this point. It is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Frank's Gourmet Popcorn Butter flavored coconut oil. Oh, yeah. It's a substitute. Now, these are all substitutes, my guy.

[Bobby Lee]

But still not elevated enough for me.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, but how about this? When you get a candy like an Eminem's, you sprinkle that in the popcorn. Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Insane. You don't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you do that?

[Andrew Santino]

Everybody does that. You sprinkle them in there. Then you get to grab a couple of handfuls. Then you get some. You'll get one popcorn with. With some of them. Because M&MS. Don't go all the way through. They stick halfway in some of the crevasses.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I know. I got a good idea. You just. You make it so it's like a fucking yogurt chop.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So it's just not just K butter. Right. But you put graham. The graham from. A little bit of graham from some toffee. Some sort of toffee thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe. Maybe candied pecans.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

If you're getting nuts, candy walnuts, you're getting.

[Bobby Lee]

But you put the butter in first so that all the other stuff sticks to it.

[Andrew Santino]

I like this.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? What do you think? Maybe a blueberry?

[Andrew Santino]

You know, it's a stretch, but I like it.

[Bobby Lee]

One blueberry. One blueberry in the bottom of it. You got. You have to try to find it. And your partner goes, you got the Blueberry. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, there's only one in there, you.

[Andrew Santino]

Know, that's good for good luck.

[Bobby Lee]

That's for.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's actually a good idea.

[Bobby Lee]

Elevate the popcorn. What else can we elevate in there?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, well, they do they at some of the. Like at Lemley's, they have a full bar, which I think is insane, that you can just get like a cocktail with it, which I thought was kind of crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

That's nice.

[Andrew Santino]

No drinking, but still. Yeah, Garrett's is good. I see that. You got to elevate the popcorn, man. We got to move on up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, let's move on the popcorn.

[Andrew Santino]

We're running thin on that. And also then the snacks. The snacks, though the snack game is very. What's Williams Sonoma? What's this? Opal Pop $50 popcorn and Bobby's gonna love it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's it.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that? Williams and Sonoma makes Sonoma popcorn gift set. No, no, that's the bowl thing. You're paying $50.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andreas]

Glad I didn't get it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, this guy was just gonna buy it.

[Bobby Lee]

Is there elevated corn?

[Andrew Santino]

Google. Is there elevated corn?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm really getting into this.

[Andrew Santino]

We're trying to get to the next level of popcorn.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, we got. It starts with the corn cave corn.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, there can be elevated, significantly taller corn. No, that's not. We're talking about.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is there fancy corn?

[Bobby Lee]

Is there fancy corn?

[Andrew Santino]

Is there Andres Cor organic fancy corn? Is there. Yes, there is fancy corn. Yeah, it's. You conferred to cornmeal multicol Indian corn. Oh, yeah. Indian corn.

[Bobby Lee]

We need Indian.

[Andrew Santino]

We need Indian popcorn.

[Bobby Lee]

Cuz they're different colors.

[Andrew Santino]

They're going to be mad at us for appropriating that as well. Look at that. There's Indian corn.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you use Indian corn. Cave butter.

[Andrew Santino]

Indian corn with butter.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. Imagine. I just sounded like John F. Kennedy. Imagine, Imagine.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, Indian popcorn with cave butter with K butter.

[Bobby Lee]

And also all the fixings.

[Andrew Santino]

And sea salt.

[Bobby Lee]

And sea salt, dude. That's what I'm saying. Elevate the shit.

[Andrew Santino]

Kosher sea salt.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Imagine.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. I think we should imagine. Imagine we can elevate the menu at a. At a movie theater. I think we can.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

It's time.

[Bobby Lee]

It's time.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, I will say those Coke machines they have now have every flavor of everything on earth and it's fucking amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

I refuse to do the flavors.

[Andrew Santino]

You're out of your fucking.

[Bobby Lee]

I refuse it.

[Andrew Santino]

Cherry Coke is phenomenal.

[Bobby Lee]

If you get A Diet Coke. And you put a sugary cherry thing. It defeats the purpose of the diet part of it. You're still getting sugar.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? They do fake. They do fake sugar? Yeah, they do fake sugar. Now they do aspartame versions of all of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really? So it's not real sugar?

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's fake.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well, then I'll do lime. You have them both? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they have both. Look at all the options. I want one of those at my house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's a great thing.

[Andrew Santino]

That's one of those things. Like, I had a friend in high school who was like a. Who's a super rich kid, and we go over to his house in his basement. He had a Coke bottle machine. We could get Coke by the bottle.

[Bobby Lee]

You hit it.

[Andrew Santino]

But it would dispense. We drink like nine Cokes a day.

[Bobby Lee]

Culkin movie where he gets a million dollars.

[Andrew Santino]

Brewster's millions puts.

[Bobby Lee]

The McDonald's.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the McDonald's in your house. Yeah. I was hankering this morning, by the way, for a sausage. Egg McMuffin. I almost went to MacD's for one. Sausage McMuffin is the best thing in the.

[Bobby Lee]

I think so, too.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the. It's so fucking good.

[Bobby Lee]

Amen.

[Andrew Santino]

You slide that hash brown inside.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't do that. No. You know, you don't put the hash.

[Andrew Santino]

Brown inside the sausage. No, but I'll change your life.

[Bobby Lee]

It won't change my life, I'm telling you.

[Andrew Santino]

Why eat it separately?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why eat it out of it?

[Bobby Lee]

So if I do that, the light, like, it'll turn completely bright.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And I have a spiritual awakening. What the fuck you talking.

[Andrew Santino]

You'll see in color for the first time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. No, I don't think so, but I think it'll be good.

[Andrew Santino]

It's phenomenal. Okay, here's what. Here's what you do. You want to. You want a real little secret. Topper. They sell Taco Bell hot sauce now in the grocery store, which, my fridge has five of them in there right now. Honestly, of all the hot Diablo they sell, they sell the fire. You can get hot fire. Look, there they are. Yeah. Taco Bell hot sauce. Sold. Sold in the store, in the bottle. We buy that. I put that on everything. It's good, that. On breakfast. Do you not like Taco Bell hot sauce? It's so good.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't really think about it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, brother.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

When you go to Taco Bell, you don't use it?

[Bobby Lee]

I use Diablo fire. Yeah, but I don't Think. Oh, this is amazing hot sauce.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no, no, no. It's not that it's amazing. It's. The flavor is just good. Well, the flavor's okay, but I put that on my breakfast sandwiches.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you do?

[Andrew Santino]

And you know what?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I bet. I bet it is. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a kiss on the mouth. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you ever do the.

[Andrew Santino]

This guy's selling 50 hot sauce packets. That's so funny.

[Bobby Lee]

That's funny.

[Andrew Santino]

I bet you people buy it.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you do the breakfast burrito at McDonald's, too, or.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I've never done the breakfast burrito. Yeah, I'm too scared.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a tube of fear.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I call it a tube of fear. I don't like it.

[Andrew Santino]

But this is the thing. McDonald's has been switching up their menu a little bit with introducing new items. They're risky, and some of the new ones. I'm not. Their chicken menu is getting too big. Slow down with all the chicken.

[Bobby Lee]

Amen.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me McDonald's new menu. Yeah, I went. We went the other week, and I thought, you guys need to slow down, go back to the basics. Dude, they got new shit on there that I'm just not like chicken strips. Get the fuck out of here. It's nuggets or nothing, dude. It's nuggets or nothing. What's a new. What's new on there? New addition. Boo Buckets.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Boo Buckets.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait. Tiny Tan Happy Meal. That's for the Philippines only, isn't it? Tiny 10.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a meetup in Los Angeles for Tiny Tan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andreas]

For parents, I guess.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we go back to the movie Popcorn real quick?

[Andrew Santino]

Look at this. Special edition. Special edition. Gold sauce.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. What's. What do you want to do with the popcorn? We are.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I'm just saying. So I went to see that movie with the date. We got a large popcorn, a small.

[Andrew Santino]

Bottle of smart water not needed, but go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Waste of money.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Anyway, that's what we got.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And a Diet Coke. Thirty bucks.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. Well, it's a.

[Bobby Lee]

How much are they making off of that?

[Andrew Santino]

Can you imagine how much our. Our fancy Indian corn cave butter is going to be? 80 bucks a bucket. We're never gonna be able to source it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

We're gonna be. We're gonna be ripping people off. Yeah, but the movie, we can make cheaper because we won't. What we'll do is we'll run a bunch of, you know, previews will be an hour and a half to pay for the Indian corn.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So you have an hour of previews.

[Bobby Lee]

Movie theaters make almost no money with a movie.

[Andrew Santino]

They make all their money with concessions, but they also make money using the previews.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

So they have to pay to have those previews put in front of those films. Is that not true? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, but have you smuggled in stuff? I have and they don't give a shit.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? That was my whole life. Yeah. Yeah. The only reason I. Reason I do it now is because I'm just timing wise. I don't feel like bringing shit in. Yeah, but Mo, I would say the majority of people still sneak in food and you shouldn't sneak because it's a teenager ripping tickets. He doesn't give a fuck. You think a 16 year old's gonna be like, sure, what's in your pockets?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they don't do.

[Andrew Santino]

Doesn't care. Yeah, it's a. It's a. It's.

[Bobby Lee]

It's mostly coffee.

[Andrew Santino]

You sneak in coffee?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, like an iced, you know, I mean, venti something. Right. I. What?

[Andrew Santino]

Put it in your.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I cup. I do this. This. Right, Right. And I do one of these and I hand the ticket like this.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. They'll never see that when you walk around. No.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you see it now?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I'm just on this angle.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I know. You think you can spin around to this side?

[Andrew Santino]

He can hear the ice jingle jangling in that cup.

[Bobby Lee]

It's basically on the walk, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I go, here you go. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Smart.

[Bobby Lee]

And then when they're. I always keep. You always have to keep eye contact.

[Andrew Santino]

Got it.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

What if there's an employee behind you, sir?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you got to cop it.

[Andrew Santino]

You sneak in coffee.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because in high school I used to post cigarettes. I was good at cupping the cigarette. Oh, yeah, you're just walking down the hallway. You're right.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. Cupping this. Cupping.

[Bobby Lee]

I know how to cut that. I know there's smoke, but they thought I was Asian. I was doing some sort of, you know, I mean, like street fighter thing. All you can, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But yeah, that's smart.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm very smart with my hands.

[Andrew Santino]

My friend Sarah and I used to sneak in 40s. She just bring in a big purse in college and sneak in. 40s. That's college days, dude. The good old days.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Sneak at a 40 in the movie. Actually, the fans down below comment the craziest thing. You've snuck into the movie theater because I'm actually Curious to know who snuck in some wild. Yeah. Like what do you think the biggest thing. You could put something down your pants? If it's long.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I mean, if you have like a. If. If it's like a big thing, you just put it in your pant. They're never. They don't care jackets, by the way. Midwest, we don't have that out here. When winter comes, you can sneak in a entire kitchen into a movie theater.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you repeated in the movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Into what, the bucket?

[Bobby Lee]

No, on the ground.

[Andrew Santino]

You just pissed on the ground one time.

[Bobby Lee]

I did.

[Andrew Santino]

It goes that way.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

It just goes away from.

[Bobby Lee]

Because it was back in the early 80s.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Back when it was normal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it was normal back in the 80s. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you remember the movie Evil Dead? Evil Dead, Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That was not the 80s.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it was like late 70s.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't want to miss a minute.

[Bobby Lee]

Now, as a kid, I remember, and my friend, my cousin Jennifer, because here's what we went to the movie. There was Empire Strikes Back playing and Evil Dead. And I was like, can we do Empire Strikes Back? And she was like, older said, no, we're doing evil. You already saw Empire Strikes Back.

[Andrew Santino]

See, a double feature, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I was. No, we. Our parents, we only had two hours. Okay. So anyway, we went in there, right? And just to make her mad, I peed on the ground. And I remember it ruined the movie for she. Fudgeing.

[Andrew Santino]

Hated it.

[Bobby Lee]

But anyway, I did that. Yeah. You never done that?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Okay. Never in the theater.

[Bobby Lee]

Bluetooth into the room. Dick first.

[Andrew Santino]

Get in there. Dick first. Bluetooth, not just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch. Stronger, harder, longer lasting. Like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership that Bobby is finally getting.

[Bobby Lee]

Bluechew has saved my sex life. Because when you get older, sometimes papa's not awake.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

And you know, bluechew goes. It's like its own coff almost. It's like, whoop, wake up. And it's. It does work. Last time I took bluechew, my dick got sponsored by an energy drink company and refused to do missionary.

[Andrew Santino]

Guys, this isn't just about performances, about legacy or third legacy. Hey, hey, hey. Give her group chat. Something to talk about, you know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little bit of bluechew. Discover your [e-mail] we got a special deal for our listeners. As always, get your first month of BlueChew for free. Just use promo code Bad Friends at checkout and just pay five bucks for shipping.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it. Join BlueChew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to BlueChew.com for details and safety.

[Andrew Santino]

Info and we thank you BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast DraftKings Sportsbook.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Your team hitting paydirt pays out to you. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and use Code Bad Friends.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

This is what.

[Andrew Santino]

Say bathroom. Then it's.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the guy that's doing the signs.

[Andrew Santino]

So it's guy that's doing.

[Bobby Lee]

Just listen to the. Just listen.

[Andrew Santino]

Fuck the guy that made these signs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. No, it's not that side. It's this. Okay, that. The original one is the men's one, right? And then somebody at the. At the meeting, Rhett said, hey, we need new signs.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think that's what they said. Yeah, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, it's 2025, bro. We need new signs. Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, Pedro, I don't think we're. Trust you're aligned, but let me tell you something.

[Bobby Lee]

I bought the new signs on, you know, Amazon, right? But you know what? I'm gonna keep the old sign on just in case. Yeah, yeah. No, because he's lazy. Ah, yeah. Not because. Because the character's Mexican.

[Andrew Santino]

See, I think I'm just saying, he's.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, I'm just gonna put this side underneath the old sign.

[Andrew Santino]

Right, Right. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, but, you know, they' get it. But then Santino comes along and goes, I don't like that.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't just say bathroom, by the way. They should all just say bathroom then. That's the deal. If you're going to keep doing this game, just say bathroom. And it should. You know what the signs should say? If you're a guy? Lift the seat up and piss and put it down when you're done. That's what the sign should actually say. Don't piss on the seat. Don't be. An. And then it's just a place to pee and poop. But. But you.

[Bobby Lee]

They should have ones.

[Andrew Santino]

This is big signage at its.

[Bobby Lee]

See the little white head on it?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What if they have race specific ones?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's funny. Race neutral bathroom.

[Bobby Lee]

No, just no spec. Why don't we just go the reverse way?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, just white and black bathrooms.

[Bobby Lee]

No and different. Different ones.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you like water fountains like that too? What else do you want to do? You want schools to be only one color?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Because. Can I say something for Asians? Right?

[Andrew Santino]

We like Carlos.

[Bobby Lee]

We like lower, you know, toilets.

[Andrew Santino]

You need lower sinks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And lower things. You know what I mean? We like, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we'll make the Asian only. Yeah, I get that.

[Bobby Lee]

What would the black one have in it?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it'd be taller, that's for sure. On average. Go back to that picture, there'd be graffiti.

[Bobby Lee]

It's an art.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God. Dude, did you see that video of that girl that had a panic attack parasailing and then unclipped her?

[Bobby Lee]

Did she die?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, big time.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, big time, big time.

[Bobby Lee]

Diesel.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at her. What the fuck? That's not it. Oh, there it is. There's the footage. So she's like. She's freaking out. She's freaking out and then she unclips the fucking harness.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Cuz she's having a panic attack. You don't see anything gruesome here. You just. She just disappears. But look, she gets out of it. She takes off the jacket. She must be having a severe look at how high she is. This poor girl, she gets out of the harness and he's like, no, I don't want to be here anymore. And then gone.

[Andreas]

It's like Tom Cruise.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, well, that. That turns out that mission was possible. I mean, mission complete. That's insane. I don't know why she would do that. She must have had a crazy panic attack. By the way. These things are.

[Bobby Lee]

All.

[Andrew Santino]

These things are fucking atrocious. How many times a year do you hear these accidents? They go down. Kids go down to Mexico and these things. Some fucking wild shit happens with parasailing. It's. It's a terrible. They're so dumb.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you see if she died?

[Andrew Santino]

She did die, dude. It just said that in the article.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God. But did she know she was gonna die?

[Andrew Santino]

I think if you're 200ft up, you'd know you're gonna die.

[Bobby Lee]

Then why would she do that?

[Andrew Santino]

I think she had a panic. 60 accidents, injuries and fatalities over one death for a hundred thousand trips. Let me tell you something. If one in one, it's worth it.

[Bobby Lee]

That.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not it. No one in 100,000 is worth that.

[Andrew Santino]

That there's no exact number of parasailing deaths per year. You know why? Because they all happen in Mexico. Yeah, and they don't report it.

[Bobby Lee]

If there was a roller coaster and they go one in every 100, 000 people die on this, would you?

[Andrew Santino]

Not interested. That's why I do roller coasters. Because it's not. One in roller coasters is probably like one in every hundred million. Yeah, they never did. Never happen.

[Bobby Lee]

But it puts more fear into the roller coaster. That's what makes it funner, right? Carlos, Come on.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not what makes it more funner.

[Andreas]

I mean, two to four, that's not enough to get my blood going.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not even fatalities half the time. Just accidents. Health. The fatalities from these accidents are often guest health issues. Right. Like heart attack. People have heart attack or stroke.

[Andreas]

You should drive fast on the freeway and turn your lights off for two seconds.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Andreas]

Exciting.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Yeah, I do that sometimes because I've always.

[Andrew Santino]

Like these girls. They have all this dash footage of these girls texting and flipping their cars. That is some of the funniest.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I have a morbid, morbid fantasy of creating a water park, but it's. Everyone dies on each ride. Like, I have a water.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait till word gets out about it.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a water slide where you go in a tube, but it gets smaller and smaller.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. That's like my nightmare.

[Bobby Lee]

And then you get stuck. Right. But the water's still flowing.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

Other people, you know me, hop, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. So that's one of them.

[Andrew Santino]

Death Trap water slide.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Welcome to Death Trap.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't have thoughts like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Absolutely not.

[Bobby Lee]

What's wrong with me?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. Yeah, well, you know, Nate Bargazzi is making a theme park. Maybe you can pitch this theme park. Yeah. At Nateland. You could die in the water park. Exactly. Numbers aren't. There are specifically a few fatalities annually in the US Water parks. Drowning is a significant risk, by the way. No, this has got to be up, too. Every year a kid dies at those wave pools. Every year, a kid dies at one of these wave pools because they get stuck in the thing. They can't swim. Wave pools are sick, though.

[Bobby Lee]

They're sick.

[Andrew Santino]

They're so fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? You and I got to go to at least one time. Look at. Yeah, look at that. The wave.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you go in that? I don't think you would go in there.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

I've been to pools with you. If there's one person, sometimes you're like, I'm not going in.

[Andrew Santino]

That's true. I don't. To go in. If there's one person in the pool, I want it to be quiet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that.

[Andrew Santino]

That for. That's. That is a. This is genuinely. That's an anxiety attack. That's where you pull out the shoot. It's. I can't do that. Also, rest in peace to that girl. I wasn't making fun of her. I was saying, that's crazy. The poor girl had a panic attack and jumped.

[Bobby Lee]

How much SARS are in that water?

[Andrew Santino]

That's where.

[Bobby Lee]

There's got to be SARS in there.

[Andrew Santino]

That's where CO really started. Had a wave pool. Oh, man, I saw a funny meme online of the kid. Of. Of Ron Weasley. I don't know. I can't remember the actor's name.

[Andreas]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Of yelling. It was like he was holding gasoline in the air. Yeah. What did he say?

[Andreas]

Expensive petroleum expense.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What does he say? This is a great dude.

[Bobby Lee]

He's Ron Weasley, 24. 7. That guy. Dude, that's amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Killer. That's so funny.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's almost. Almost like a wand he pulled up there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's why he did it. Wow, that's so fun. Expensive petroleum.

[Bobby Lee]

God, he's so good.

[Andrew Santino]

What a brilliant thing to do. Play into the bit, though.

[Andreas]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So good, man. So funny. Oh, I got bad news for you, too. Your boy diddy just got 50 months.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Does he go to your meetings at Ron Weasley or.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he hasn't been in years. Yeah, he does.

[Bobby Lee]

He's been showing up to your meetings lately.

[Andrew Santino]

Kathy Griffin's there. She leaves it. Yeah, Carrot Top. Look at the. Look at the picture that they put up of Diddy bending over on the stool. Did you see that? They're like, man, they did Diddy wrong. They drew him, like, bent over the stool, crying. 50 months. Yeah, that one. That second one. Yeah, yeah. They're like. They did him wrong in the court drawing.

[Bobby Lee]

Isn't that a good time, though? I mean, he was gonna get way worse, right?

[Andrew Santino]

He should have gotten.

[Bobby Lee]

He shouldn't have got, like, 40 years. I think.

[Andrew Santino]

Four years he got off, you say 50 months. Is that the truth? Is that what it was? Four. Four months.

[Bobby Lee]

They cut that in half. You'll get out earlier.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Time served, time served and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. Probably get out in two and a.

[Bobby Lee]

Half years and then would you go to the next Diddy party when he gets out?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How good it's gonna be.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you get invited to those? I. I've never been to one.

[Andrew Santino]

How do you get invited to those? Yeah. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I don't yeah. You know, let me. Who. Who would get invited first, you or me?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, brother.

[Bobby Lee]

You.

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos. Oh, Carlos, buddy, you and I don't get invited to any.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Parties, but I wonder what I would.

[Andrew Santino]

Wear to a Diddy party.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, get a suit.

[Andrew Santino]

Easy. You want easy access to your tush. Maybe one of those assless chaps. Yeah. You know, with a little flap.

[Bobby Lee]

I would be nervous.

[Andrew Santino]

To a Diddy party.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine he is going to throw a party when he gets out. You do know that?

[Andreas]

It's gonna be sick.

[Bobby Lee]

It's gonna be a. Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

It's gonna be sick. Sick. It's gonna be.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you rather go to a Diddy party or a Cosby party?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, did he? Because I want to remember it. Cosby party. And no recollection of the party.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I just woke up in my car the next day.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't like it when he made those kids walk to fucking Brooklyn for cheesecake. That's like the first time I actually hated him. You don't even know the reference I'm making.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I don't.

[Andrew Santino]

Diddy did a show called. Was it Making the Band or whatever. What was the name of his show?

[Andreas]

Making the Band.

[Andrew Santino]

Making the Band. And he would make them go on these missions, right? And they had to go do shit for him.

[Bobby Lee]

Him.

[Andrew Santino]

And he had to make. One time he made them walk. I want to say it was across Brooklyn Bridge for cheesecake making. That's not like a. That's not a proof of that. You're loyal.

[Bobby Lee]

Cheesecake, though.

[Andrew Santino]

It was phenomenal. Cheesecake.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I did it depends on what kind of cheesecake it is.

[Andrew Santino]

No, there's no cheesecake that good. Now if it was tiramisu, we have a totally different conversation. Yeah, but tiramisu is undoubtedly the best.

[Bobby Lee]

Are they being televised?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it was on mtv.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, then. Yeah, do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

I knew you agree.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. See TV guy.

[Andreas]

I knew you'd agree with this method of.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no, it's basically like this. It's like when Leah was on the Revenant. Right. He was out there in the cold.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's so different than this.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not. It's not. It's not.

[Andrew Santino]

Leo, you do the job. Leo was in character.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And these kids are in the character.

[Andrew Santino]

They're not in character.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm playing the cheesecake guy.

[Andrew Santino]

You're the cheesecake guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You are.

[Bobby Lee]

You're the cheesecake guy, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you are.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. What do you mean by that?

[Andrew Santino]

What do you want on it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't like cheesecake.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, then it's.

[Bobby Lee]

Why would I be the cheesecake guy? Well, exactly what I'm saying though is if the cameras are rolling and they're playing a role, right? You're a reality show show guy.

[Andrew Santino]

If the cameras are rolling.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? It's like, get the cheesecake.

[Andreas]

Haven't you done this with someone where you made them get you breakfast burritos at like 5 in the morning?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I pay them good.

[Andreas]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Who got you breakfast?

[Bobby Lee]

Like Alex and stuff? I'll get. I'll call Alex and go. Because there's some breakfast burritos that don't deliver.

[Andrew Santino]

So you say, go get it for me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And they get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you got?

[Andrew Santino]

100 bucks.

[Bobby Lee]

Lucky boys in Pasadena. Oh, you've been there. Lucky Boys. Pasadena has the best breakfast burritos in la.

[Andrew Santino]

Look it up. I want to see.

[Bobby Lee]

And they don't. They don't deliver. So sometimes I'll call somebody and go, yo, I'll give you a hundred dollars, go down to Pasadena, give me Lucky Boys fucking breakfast burrito.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you get cheese fries with it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Get the whole thing.

[Andrew Santino]

That looks good.

[Bobby Lee]

The best thing about. See, that's the key. You get. You have the breakfast burrito right to your right. It's the perfect amount of everything dispersed equal.

[Andrew Santino]

Eggs, cheese, bacon, sausage, hash browns and that's it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. And look at to the left, the best ranch sauce with the best hot sauce. And you duck them together.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I know. You don't get the cheese chili cheese fries.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I don't get that. I. I can only eat one Lucky Boy.

[Andrew Santino]

One Lucky Boy Burrito.

[Bobby Lee]

Burrito.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's 900 calories.

[Bobby Lee]

My second favor, that's a big burrito.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is the Corner Cottage.

[Andrew Santino]

Where the Is that?

[Bobby Lee]

In Burbank. They deliver. Get the Corner Cottage breakfast burrito. That's my second, second favorite. My third favorite is Kofax.

[Andrew Santino]

Kofax is good. Yeah, They've been good for years.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And if you don't have an opinion about breakfast burrito, don't be my friend, all right? Do you have an opinion about it?

[Andrew Santino]

I tell you who's got a pretty good ass breakfast. Which one is right here up at Sportsman's Lodge?

[Andreas]

It's called Air1 has a good one.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, that. What's. What's the spot? That's civil coffee. They have a good breakfast burrito I like there. You know why I like that? They have chunky potatoes. I Like those big, cute potatoes.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, look at that thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, look at the big, chunky. I like big, chunky potatoes, baby. Give me chunky potatoes. Look at that thing.

[Bobby Lee]

That noise.

[Andrew Santino]

And look. Wait. And look at. But zoom in and look at. Yeah, and look at. Look at the fry oil because you can still see through the burrito.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, as soon as I.

[Bobby Lee]

Eat that Lucky Boy burrito.

[Andrew Santino]

As soon as I eat that, my stomach.

[Bobby Lee]

Lucky Boys. Okay, that's me.

[Andrew Santino]

And with Lucky Boy, I'll kiss the burrito.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll. The burrito.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want me to a burrito, dude, I don't. Okay, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's your.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry. My bad, dude. YouTube. But I get it.

[Andrew Santino]

I get it.

[Andreas]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we get it.

[Bobby Lee]

If there are places in LA where you get the best of something. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

That's why the city is still.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a great.

[Andrew Santino]

Why it's still holding up. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andreas]

What should we be for Halloween this year?

[Bobby Lee]

The girl from Silent Hill F. Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

That looks like you. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I've been playing that game.

[Andreas]

No, I haven't started yet.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I have. I've been playing it the fast. I'm going to give up. I've died 15 times.

[Andreas]

I was going to say it looks really hard. I don't want to deal with that right now, else I'll tell you.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I tell you what's hard? There's only two modes, Story and hard.

[Andreas]

So story is, like, too easy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, story's too hard. I. I don't even know what hard's like that.

[Andreas]

Then.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, in the beginning of the game, you're stuck in this small little Japanese town.

[Andreas]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. And all of a sudden, there's these creatures that come out with a knife. It's scary as.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the name of the game?

[Bobby Lee]

Silent Hill F. And I'm ready for some Halloween.

[Andrew Santino]

Are we gonna go to a haunted house?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, let's do it. You see. See that creature? Yeah. They're like.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that Ali Wong?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Ali Wong that. You play Ali Wong. And you're. The first 20 minutes of game, you're just dodging, like, running from them, and you can hear them chase you. It's so petrifying, scary. And there's no. It's all melee weapons. So you. Eventually you pick up a pole like that. Yeah. Or. Yeah. Or something like that. Or like a pipe. And you're fighting these creatures with a pipe. It's so hard.

[Andreas]

It's too Hard.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so hard. But it is beautiful and it's pretty scary.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad Friends, Halloween. What are we gonna be for Halloween?

[Andreas]

Yeah, I was just writing on my notes.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad Bunny. Oh, yeah. People are mad at Bad Bunny for doing the Super Bowl. Is that why it is.

[Andreas]

He was so good on snl?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, dude, he's the man. I don't know. What's the issue? Go ahead. You're a Spaniard. What's the issue with Bad Bunny playing the Super Bowl? I think people don't like that he speaks Spanish. Only Spanish. What percentage of America speaks Spanish? He speaks English. Yeah, like me, right? Bad English doesn't matter. 15% of the 14 of the 45 million people speak Spanish. There's a lot of people will get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Me and Canto Bailar.

[Andrew Santino]

I think. I think that money is the. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We should do a Bad Friends Spanish.

[Andrew Santino]

Edition and try to speak only in Spanish. Good luck.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, how do you say bad friends in Spanish?

[Andrew Santino]

Amigos.

[Bobby Lee]

Amigos. Hey. Welcome to Marlos, amigos.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, that was one thing that Leo did right. In that movie was he got his. He got the Spanish right, Right.

[Bobby Lee]

When he.

[Andrew Santino]

When he was, like, vibing with those dudes, you could tell. He. He. They loved him.

[Andreas]

Shia can do that, too, with the Mexicans. He vibes with them.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, dude. Look at that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, because Shia. But Shia's from. From where in la? He's from Echo Park. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

He can do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Didn't Leo grow up a little bit nicer? Los Feliz area a little bit nicer? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I wish that we grew up, like, in la.

[Andrew Santino]

Not me.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

I like being from Chicago.

[Bobby Lee]

It would have been easier, I think, though.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, for the business.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think so.

[Bobby Lee]

But you watch a Charlie Sheen, right? Documentary in Malibu when Sean Penn and all those guys, neighborhood kids, were making films. It started then.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but that's a dream. That's a fantasy moment in time. In the same way that, like, what are the chances? That, like, the Will Ferrell class of snl, it's like, these are fantasy moments in time. These are.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to be in a fantasy moment. I didn't have a fantasy moment.

[Andrew Santino]

We're living in it right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, now? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We made bad friends together.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

This is our. This is our little fantasy moment.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but, you know, it'd be cool that you're in an avocado field with young Keanu Reeves.

[Andrew Santino]

You mean, what are you doing out there?

[Bobby Lee]

What, throwing avocados at each other?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's like, cut it out, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Cut it out, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, and. Well, it's great. That was. What a great throw, Bobby. You. I mean, thank you, Keanu. I talk like that too. I would probably talk like that too, dude. Because Keanu Reeves would influence me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like, bro, dude, Fantastic. You got an A in geometry.

[Andrew Santino]

Now you just sound like your brother. I know that sounds like Stevie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I think it influences you, right? So it's like, you know, you. You grew up with Daero, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Daero.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're doing all the.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, you know, if you want me to help you tutor in that biology class, I think I'll help you.

[Andrew Santino]

I think you would have been a good fellas. Don't you think that's really good? Yeah. I don't want to grow up in L. You're. Don't you have to grow up in San Diego?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm two time Nicky Bob.

[Andrew Santino]

Two time Nicky Bob.

[Andreas]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Two time Nicky Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

I said Nicky Bob twice. Every time Nicky by Nicky Bob. That's why they call me Two Time.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I like it. Nicky Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Nicky Bob.

[Andrew Santino]

Nicky Bob. Nicky Bob. That's two times Nicky Bob's. You always said everything twice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, it's everything twice. Yeah. What's your name?

[Andrew Santino]

Say it again.

[Bobby Lee]

What's your name? What's your name?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm Slippery Santines.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Do the slides. Do the slide.

[Andrew Santino]

Cops never caught me. Slippery Sandins.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. As I sneak through. As he sneaks through. As he sneaks through.

[Andrew Santino]

It's actually pretty good.

[Bobby Lee]

It's pretty good. They're pretty good. Pretty good.

[Andrew Santino]

You would have grown up in la. Okay. You would have grown up in Koreatown. Here's your life.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're working, you're fucking busing at. At. At Seoul Park.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're bus and tables. You're. You're still going to take your same route. You're going to get mad TV like nothing's going to change.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you think that no matter where I was, you were going to be. I was always going to end up here.

[Andrew Santino]

Or are you going to be on a roof during the riots?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a rooftop Korean for sure.

[Andrew Santino]

For 100.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'm at that Carl Jr. Drive through. Like, what is going on?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You would have been Bobby Lee. No matter where you were placed in the world, you were born to be Bobby Lee.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You were going to be you. And that's what we love about you.

[Bobby Lee]

I said those fantasy fantasies aren't real.

[Andrew Santino]

They're you're living a fantasy. You live a dream. We get to talk to our fans and do stand up and like, this is the best dream. It's the best dream we've ever lived.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't ever want to wake up.

[Bobby Lee]

But it'd be great. Like, you're an Echo Park. Like, Shia is like, hey, let's go duck hunting.

[Andrew Santino]

You think it's gonna be friends with you? You think you would have been his click?

[Bobby Lee]

I think Shy would have liked me because he liked me. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

He likes you now.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Chances of becoming famous are extremely slim. Said is less than 0.01% of the.

[Andreas]

Global population, and he's still not happy. Happy.

[Andrew Santino]

You're still not happy. The likelihood.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so happy and so grateful.

[Andreas]

You just wish you were from la.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but when you. When you watch that movie, Charlie Sheen, it's just like, it's. What an exciting life.

[Andreas]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You mean he lived under the guise of famous parents, so it. It like ushered him into the world naturally. Yeah, right. Like I told you, that documentary I love, Better Bastards of baseball. It's great.

[Bobby Lee]

Better Bastards of Paper.

[Andrew Santino]

There it is. There's Nikki two times.

[Bobby Lee]

Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. Look, we all have way too many subscriptions. This is an old point that we've made so many times on this show. Bobby saved so much money by doing this. And by the way, Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features.

[Bobby Lee]

Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if. If you're close to going over budget.

[Andrew Santino]

Rocket Money will even try to negotiate to lowers your bills for you. This app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals. They even talk to customer service. You don't want to talk to them. They're going to do it for you. You do not have to. Bobby had the dashboard and it laid out his total financial picture. So they include bill due dates and paydays, and it's easier to digest that way, the way they lay it out. Some of us are visual learners like Bob and I. You can automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending. So they're trying to help you save your money.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop wasting it cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Bad Friends today you heard it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's RocketMoney.com Bad Friends RocketMoney.com Bad Friends Shopify hey, if you're running a small business, you know there's nothing small about it. There's a lot going on and as business owners, we provide merch for you guys. And the Shopify point of sale system is unified command center for your retail businesses. It brings together in store and online operations across up to a thousand locations.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient. Endless aisle ship to customer, buy online, pickup in store. All made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close the sale every time.

[Andrew Santino]

And let's face it, acquiring new customers is expensive. With Shopify POS you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first party data that give marketing teams a competitive edge. In fact, it's proven based on a report from EY Business on Shopify POS see real results like 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% up lift in sales on average relative to the market set surveyed. And we use Shopify and you must if you're running a business. Bob, tell them how to get we.

[Bobby Lee]

Love Shopify and we've been using it since our inception and we love it. Get all the big stuff for your small businesses right with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad friends go to shopify.com badfriends that's shopify.com bad friends.

[Andreas]

Upgrade your laundry routine.

[Andrew Santino]

With a durable and reliable Maytag laundry pair at Lowe's.

[Andreas]

Like the new Maytag washer and dryer with performance enhanced stain fighting power designed.

[Andrew Santino]

To cut through series dirt and grime.

[Andreas]

And what's great is this laundry pair is in stock and ready for delivery when you need it the most.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't miss out.

[Andreas]

Shop Maytag in store or online today at Lowe's.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that? I could be that for Halloween.

[Andreas]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's great.

[Andrew Santino]

Shave my beard like that a little. Little Fu Manchu. Yeah. Where did the name Fu Manchu come from?

[Bobby Lee]

From? I don't know, man. Asia? It's a real guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Is Fu Manchu a real guy?

[Bobby Lee]

It's a guy. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Come on. You don't know that to be a fact. We're just guessing. The new Fu Fu Manchu is invented by British author Arthur Wild. Writing as sex sex roamer 1913, a series of novels about a sinister Chinese villain, Bobby Lee, becoming the embodiment of the Yellow Peril. Bobby Lee. The specific name likely comes from the generic Chinese surname Fu. Historical ethnic group Manchu, creating an exotic and threat and threatening identity for the character. So is Fu Manchu gonna be X out of our vernacular now? Because it's on PC. It's funny because people still call it Fu Manchu. Like, isn't that called a Fu Manchu? What up? Yeah, right?

[Andreas]

Guys probably just aren't people who would change how they talk.

[Andrew Santino]

The character name originated from Arthur Ward.

[Bobby Lee]

I like Yellow Peril.

[Andrew Santino]

Yellow Peril is a great name for your special. Yeah, yeah, the Yellow Peril.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's good.

[Andrew Santino]

When are you. Are you ready to tape? Are you getting close?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Come on.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not at all close.

[Bobby Lee]

But when. When hula goes it, this is the amount of time we expect. I'm like, okay, I got it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's an hour, right?

[Andreas]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

What do they expect out of you?

[Bobby Lee]

40 minutes.

[Andrew Santino]

You're doing just 40?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna do more. But, I mean, that's. I mean, that's the. I have 40. So then I'm like, okay, you want.

[Andrew Santino]

To do the least possible?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm doing least possible.

[Andrew Santino]

How smart.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Bank for your.

[Bobby Lee]

And then the next one is going to be great, because I. I'll clean slate. I'm going to walk honestly. I'm just going to figure it out.

[Andrew Santino]

I genuinely think you'll never do another one. I think one is good.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm going to do another one. I have to.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Because there's no more personal things I want to talk about. About how I really feel that I. I don't do. And I want to go in. Why are you smirking?

[Andreas]

Because it's all like a pipe dream. Because you were trying to show off for Louis, like, oh, after this special, I promise I'll really get into the depths of comedy. And, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You know, my whole life has been this. I believe in you. No, this is what. I'm being real. My whole life has been. You can't do it. It's not. Listen, My whole life has been this.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't say me.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't do it. It's not gonna happen. This and that, and I always do it, and I always prevail, and I can't wait. And then when that happens, I would love that I could look at you and go, what's up?

[Andreas]

I would love that.

[Bobby Lee]

And then you're gonna be like, well, I never said that. Right. And then we're have another conflict. All right.

[Andreas]

You'll see moment. It's actually just.

[Bobby Lee]

You'll see is my. The whole reason why I am even where I'm at.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a good thing to bring up. You'll see. Because that was my favorite phrase when we were in Australia. Bobby's the first thing out of his mouth. I'm going to be jacked. I'm gonna get so jacked. And I go.

[Bobby Lee]

And you'll see.

[Andrew Santino]

And I go, no, you won't. You go. You'll see. Yeah, but we're past a year. You lost it.

[Bobby Lee]

It doesn't matter. The sea hasn't happened.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm excited for the scene to see happens.

[Andrew Santino]

You'll do it when the tides change.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. So I. I went to that gym next to my house, Planet Fitness.

[Andreas]

This.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I swear to God, I walked in there and I. And I go, can I join? And they're like, well, we need your bank account.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know why. I go, I just have a credit card and say, we don't do it that way. We need your bank account.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what they said.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never heard of that before in my life.

[Bobby Lee]

That's. I've never heard that before in my life, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Bank account.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andreas]

Equinox.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andreas]

Go to Equinox.

[Bobby Lee]

So then what? I know, but there's too many hot people there.

[Andreas]

What's wrong with that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to be slothy in front of those people. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Just get a personal trainer then.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So then I brought my friend Alex over there. You know my friend Alex that worked for me at Tiger.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I didn't know how any of the machines worked either. Right. So once we. We already went once. He's gonna teach me how. Those machines, you don't even know how to get in them. It's like a pole away, and you don't know how to put the stick in. And I don't know what it works.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like that Japanese game show where they got to go through those cardboard cutouts on the thing.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what it's like.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then every machine works on one thing. Like, I don't want this muscle to be fucking.

[Andrew Santino]

This is a good muscle. Look at this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't want that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I don't want that.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't want that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Or like, you know, my elbows, like, gigantic, and I'm Like, I did this machine too long.

[Andrew Santino]

All you really need to do is like push ups, sit ups, and then, you know, some squatty stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but I want to learn how to do this one, the butterfly one.

[Andrew Santino]

What the is that?

[Bobby Lee]

There's one where there's sticks above. And you do this.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, what will you do? Flies.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then you do this one. Like flies like that, Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to be able to do. But even this machine is different.

[Andrew Santino]

The bench press. Yeah, Just get on a free.

[Bobby Lee]

Just get go to Plant Famous Fitness. It's evolved.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, they've changed.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't know what the machines do. Look at the machines that are so complex.

[Andrew Santino]

Sound like Kimmy Schmidt who has like been buried for like 50 years.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is he on all the machines?

[Bobby Lee]

See that machine right there? I didn't sit on that. I went reverse. My knees were on that thing. Right. I was staring backwards.

[Andrew Santino]

It would be funny to see a Bobby Lee workout video trying the machines for the first time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Like, I don't know how to get into that.

[Andrew Santino]

She's in it right now. Just like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, now I know after seeing her squat and press. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So you're not going to be going to Planet Fit. Why don't you have someone to come to your house to train you from your house?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't have weights.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't need much. You can do bands. You can do. You can do exercise with so little today.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Maybe tomorrow night. I just decided just now. No, I just literally decided because I have, I have my pod tomorrow at 4 and then Alex will be there afterwards. I'm going to give him a little.

[Andrew Santino]

Money, go right to the.

[Bobby Lee]

And I'm going right to Planet Fitness. I'm going to finish the training.

[Andrew Santino]

I thought you couldn't get in without your bank.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you can do a day pass. That's what I'm going to do. Yeah, I'm gonna get two bit day passes. I'm gonna figure out how all the machines work. I'll even video it. Okay, now I'm being real. I want to do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I want you to.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I'm just. I, I think my thinness isn't good.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you. What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

I still look fat.

[Andreas]

What's the tone?

[Andrew Santino]

You don't look fat.

[Bobby Lee]

No. If you take my shirt off, it's not good.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? It's just, it's just lumpy.

[Bobby Lee]

It's Andreas. Like, I'm so. No offense.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't know what he looks like without a shirt.

[Bobby Lee]

I do. I do. No offense, dude, and none taken, but.

[Andrew Santino]

It'S so much offense. He's taking it.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. What I'm saying is that it's. Can I be honest with you?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a pork too. Yeah, you're more like a flan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm flanny. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're like a flan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's dessert? Name it. We're all desserts. He's flan. What's. What's. Carlos, what is it? He's like a churro.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's like a baguette.

[Andreas]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

A baguette. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Dessert.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Nobody wants it.

[Andrew Santino]

Nobody wants it.

[Andreas]

Yeah, I'm flaky and.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you have a great body.

[Andrew Santino]

It's fine. Yeah, it's up and down. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But it's pretty. You can see the muscles.

[Andrew Santino]

It can be if.

[Bobby Lee]

Where they're supposed to be. If I work out with me and Andreas. No, we don't know what muscles. What. That's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

But he's also thinking, yeah, yeah, he's a father now. He has less time to work out. Yeah, dads have way less time. He's busy. He's either editing, taking care of his kid or editing dad bod. Dad bod. Life and dude. His. His. Dude, the chicks, especially in our age range, they love dad bods.

[Bobby Lee]

They do.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, they do. You ask any girl of. Of a. Of an age. That's our range.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sure girls in their, like, 20s don't like dad bods. They want young, but, like, 30s and up. Those girls love dad bots.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Oh, I can't wait. I'm inspired today.

[Andrew Santino]

You are?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. I'm doing it because you're right. I did say that. By now, I would.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I didn't. Yeah, I did lose the weight.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Andreas]

Five weeks.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I don't. Well, I'm gonna start tomorrow. What can I. In five weeks? Do you think if I start tomorrow, in five weeks, do you think you'll be able to see. See the difference?

[Andrew Santino]

If you have to. If you go every. Every, like, other day.

[Andreas]

Yeah, you would.

[Andrew Santino]

You have to go, like, literally three, four days a week.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You're gonna do it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do it.

[Andrew Santino]

God, I think it's a great day. I love this. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And that.

[Andrew Santino]

Who are you doing it for, though? That's the real question.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Who are you doing it for?

[Andreas]

Spite.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm doing It. Because when I. When.

[Andrew Santino]

Because women find you attractive.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I get giggles when I walk into the Wii spa steam room.

[Andrew Santino]

From who, little Asians?

[Bobby Lee]

No, from all the. Everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

They giggle because they know who you are.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know if that's the case. That's in my mind. I think it's it. But it could be my Porgy Andreas, like, body.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, he's gonna go home and be like, I'm gonna quit the show in the gym.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you a member at a gym? No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Your wife is, though. Yes, she's in. Your wife's in phenomenal shape. She work. She works full time. Is a full time mom and still has time to go work out. Damn, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

How did you get her?

[Andreas]

He's funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You're a funny guy. Sorry. You know what? I love you. You're right. I see your skill set. Not taken. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully not the amount of.

[Andrew Santino]

None taken. She has to. None taken. Not. He's building all this up to, like, shut us down.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you offended right now? No. I love you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know that. Deeply. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Fans.

[Bobby Lee]

Fancy.

[Andrew Santino]

Does not.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Does not buy it.

[Andreas]

It's emotional abuse.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it an emotional abuse?

[Andreas]

Yeah. I think if you were doing this to, like, your partner, they could, like, record it and like, show all their friends. They'd be mad at you.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? Like that. Like that. Mel Gibson. You should just shut up and blow me. Andres is going to have this on loop in the courtroom. Pork, pork por.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I apologize, dude. I'll use a different reference next time.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's just because he loves you. Yeah. We all are mean to each other because we love each other.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the only reason we do it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the only reason.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you ever hooked up in the movie theater?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Have you?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, the movie's empty, right?

[Andrew Santino]

No, people were there.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to watch a bad movie, right?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I've got. I got a hand. I got a hand tug over. Over a coat, underneath a coat.

[Bobby Lee]

Like Gremlins 5.

[Andrew Santino]

You couldn't fucking. Fucking would be impossible.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think so.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, where are you? Unless no one's in there.

[Andreas]

Like in Germany, there's like, on pornhub videos of, like, Germans.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a. That's a casted porno. It's not hidden camera.

[Andreas]

No, some. It's like a real movie playing in the background.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but Germans are lunatics.

[Bobby Lee]

They're lunatics.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Will you me to Sieta.

[Bobby Lee]

They created two girls, one cup bud. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When are they going to add another cup? Yeah, they can't just share that one forever. Yeah, no, I gotta. I got a handy tug in a movie theater. I thought that was kind of tight.

[Bobby Lee]

Was there a one girl, one cup? I mean, why'd you go to the second movie first?

[Andrew Santino]

Elevated?

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, it went right to two. Do part one.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, you know what that reminds me of? Every time. Every time somebody brings up two girls, one cup, I always think about cake farts. Do you remember cake?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Farts are great.

[Andrew Santino]

One of the best.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so good.

[Andrew Santino]

That was when the Internet was really finding itself.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now it's just evil and dark and sad and nasty, and you're like, you want to see a guy get killed live on Twitter? Well, look, we're going to create our movie theater of Indian corn and cave butter, native corn and native corn. So please come to our new movie theater. And it's called. They're going to be called Fancy Corn.

[Bobby Lee]

What.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the name of our theater chain? We're going to make a chain of theaters.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're good at naming things. Yeah, you've always been good.

[Bobby Lee]

It's got to. There's got to be a la.

[Andrew Santino]

La.

[Bobby Lee]

There's got to be. Make it French. Yeah. I mean, la crochet.

[Andrew Santino]

La crochet profil.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what it's called.

[Andrew Santino]

The preferred crochet.

[Bobby Lee]

The preferred crochet. Yeah, that's it. La.

[Andrew Santino]

Prefer crochet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So please come see the lache.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we'll have fancy native butter. Not Indian.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry. I said.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll have cave butter.

[Andrew Santino]

Cave butter.

[Bobby Lee]

All the fixings. Right. No smart water. You don't like that?

[Andrew Santino]

It's.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's okay. And we'll have filtered water. No charge.

[Andrew Santino]

No charge. And you can pee at your seat. There's little toilets.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Bobby Lee]

Ice.

[Andrew Santino]

What's up? What is it?

[Andreas]

It's. It's a move called Fire and Ice.

[Andrew Santino]

Go on.

[Andreas]

You get, like, Mentos or like. Like some sort of, like, mouthwash. You make it super, like, crisp and stuff, and you go down on them like a guy. Like a girl does it to a guy. And then.

[Andrew Santino]

What is this? Call her daddy. Now, what show are we doing?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, where's the fire part?

[Andreas]

The ice?

[Bobby Lee]

It's like.

[Andreas]

It's like.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so it's Ice and Ice. It's Ice and Ice. Ice.

[Andrew Santino]

The name is more just where's the fire come from?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, where's the fire, you're saying super minty.

[Andrew Santino]

The menthol. The. The menthol and mint. Yeah. That makes it hot. Yeah.

[Andreas]

Yeah, I got that wrong. But the ice is like just super intense. And you go back and forth between the two.

[Andrew Santino]

One time in high school, this girl I was doing.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I mean, just. It doesn't make any sense.

[Andrew Santino]

Hit him. Go ahead, hit him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andreas]

I could be remembering the escort.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think it's just called ice.

[Andrew Santino]

It sounds like ice and ice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. The door flips open, right? There's guys with guns and stuff. Is that what it is?

[Andrew Santino]

Show me your papers. Yeah, you're just going down on ice agents. Ice and ice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andreas]

No, I promise.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever had a bump, bumpkin?

[Andreas]

Oh, wait, what's that again?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

It's where you get ahead when you're taking a poop.

[Andreas]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not a good one.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not a good one.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not a good one at all. Yeah, I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean? What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

No, it'd be fun. I've never had at it before.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, kind of fun. Yeah. I've never had one.

[Andrew Santino]

A blomp. No, not even close.

[Bobby Lee]

And Doug here we have the Limu.

[Andrew Santino]

Emu in its natural habitat helping people. People customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual.

[Bobby Lee]

Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Andrew Santino]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us.

[Bobby Lee]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Andrew Santino]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings.

[Bobby Lee]

Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.