Bad On Paper: Chatting About Comparison & Competition Release Date: August 6, 2025

In this engaging episode of Bad On Paper, hosts Becca Freeman and Olivia Muenter delve deep into the intricate dynamics of comparison, competition, and jealousy. Through personal anecdotes and thoughtful discussions, they unpack how these emotions influence their professional and personal lives, particularly within the realms of writing and podcasting.

1. Sharing Personal Highs

Becca's Culinary Triumph Becca opens the conversation by celebrating her recent achievement as a two-time Lobster Roll Off champion. She shares her excitement and gratitude, emphasizing the competitive spirit of this event:

“...the roles across the board were much better this year than they have been in any previous year... I'm also doubly honored to win against such a competitive field.” ([00:55])

She details her winning lobster roll, highlighting the unique combination of Calabrian chili garlic butter, honey, basil, and lemon zest, which set her creation apart in a closely contested competition.

Olivia's Home Projects Olivia contrasts Becca's culinary success by discussing her recent projects at home. She and her partner, Jake, have taken a substantial break from house projects, allowing them time to dream up new ideas:

“...we did that with the kitchen, which is still on, and it's really exciting.” ([06:09])

She shares her vision of transforming an unfinished attic space into a cozy movie room, aiming to create a dedicated area for intentional viewing and relaxation.

2. Sharing Personal Lows

Becca's Struggle with Balance Becca candidly addresses her ongoing challenge with balancing her writing endeavors amidst a demanding travel schedule:

“I'm really struggling with balancing writing with my travel schedule... I need to figure out how to do both, and I'm struggling with it.” ([13:24])

She reflects on the pressure of meeting self-imposed deadlines for her book, ultimately seeking to reduce the financial dependency on annual book releases to alleviate stress.

Olivia's Health Spiral Olivia opens up about a recent health scare that triggered a mini health spiral:

“I had a symptom that I've never had... it was a bit of a health spiral, but I'm feeling better now.” ([14:21])

She emphasizes the rapid shift from anxiety to relief once she sought professional help, showcasing her resilience in overcoming unexpected challenges.

3. Deep Dive into Comparison and Competition

Defining the Concepts Olivia initiates the core discussion by distinguishing between comparison and competition:

“Comparison has always felt to me like I'm shrinking, sort of. And I hate that.” ([23:17])

Becca adds her perspective, noting that while she leans more towards jealousy, especially in aspects like style and hair, her feelings of comparison are fleeting and often irrational:

“...it's like an irrational thing that once you think about it a little more, like, it doesn't haunt me in any way.” ([23:17])

Personal Experiences with Competitiveness Becca identifies herself as a highly competitive individual, attributing this trait to being an only child and expressing how it permeates various aspects of her life:

“It's about everything. It's about important things, and it's about deeply unimportant things.” ([19:02])

Olivia contrasts her own competitiveness, rating herself around a 3 out of 10, and explains how she primarily grapples with comparison rather than active competition:

“To me, competitive is like, there must be one winner, you know, and it must be me.” ([20:07])

Impact on Careers Becca discusses how her competitiveness fueled her early career in marketing and consulting, leading to both success and burnout due to the high demands of startup environments:

“It has made me be a very hard worker... and then led to burnout.” ([33:08])

Olivia reflects on her transition from a competitive editorial role to the more ambiguous world of publishing, where success metrics are less transparent and more subjective:

“There's so little transparency. So it's really hard to even know how you're doing for yourself.” ([42:09])

Publishing Industry's Competitive Culture Both hosts highlight the intense and often isolating nature of competition within the publishing industry. Becca shares her struggle with keeping up with authors who release multiple books annually:

“I had somehow internalized that to be a successful author, I had to write a book a year... I felt a sense of failure.” ([41:06])

Olivia echoes these sentiments, discussing how the lack of clear success metrics and the constant comparison to peers can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy:

“It's this fixation on these details that you think, like, Amazon rankings... I struggle with sometimes.” ([52:27])

Coping Strategies and Personal Goals To combat these challenges, Becca aims to "go easier on herself," recognizing the need to celebrate her achievements rather than constantly striving for the next goal:

“My biggest goal is to go easier on myself.” ([66:13])

Olivia voices her intention to focus more on personal growth rather than external comparisons:

“I want to remember that comparison is not creative... to actually enjoy my life and like myself.” ([66:18])

4. Reflections on Co-hosting the Podcast

Becca and Olivia discuss their journey as co-hosts, highlighting the initial fears and the organic development of their partnership. Olivia shares her apprehension about being compared to the previous host, Grace, and how her confidence has grown over time:

“I feel a lot more confident now in general in all things.” ([62:40])

Becca expresses gratitude for Olivia's presence and the seamless integration into the podcast, emphasizing the positive impact it has had on their dynamic:

“I'm so glad that you're the co-host and it has gone so well.” ([63:35])

5. Obsessions and Book Club Picks

Becca's Board Game Obsession Becca introduces her newfound love for the board game Hues and Q's, describing its engaging and creative gameplay centered around color descriptions:

“It's a fun game for a big group... it scratched an itch for me.” ([69:00])

Olivia's eBay Fascination Olivia shares her recent obsession with eBay, detailing her discovery of vintage items and nostalgic memorabilia:

“I've gotten into a habit of looking up old toys I used to have as a nostalgia bomb.” ([70:53])

Book Club Selection Becca announces the August book club pick, The Night and the Moth by Rachel Gilligan, a Romantasy novel that promises a moody and atmospheric journey:

“It felt really like moody and atmospheric... I’m very excited to discuss it with everyone.” ([75:36])

Olivia adds her own book recommendation, Greenwich by Kate Broad, praising its gripping narrative and complex characters:

“I absolutely loved it... deeply flawed characters that I think people would find offensive.” ([74:04])

6. Conclusion: Goals Around Dealing with Jealousy and Competition

As the episode winds down, Becca and Olivia reiterate their personal goals to manage feelings of jealousy and competition. Becca emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, while Olivia focuses on maintaining creative autonomy:

“I just want to lean into just focusing on myself and my work.” ([66:39])

Their heartfelt exchange underscores the ongoing journey of self-improvement and the pursuit of personal fulfillment beyond external validations.

Notable Quotes:

• Becca Freeman at [00:55]: “It feels really good... I did not expect to win this time... even the last place ones were very good.”

• Olivia Muenter at [20:07]: “To me, competitive is like, there must be one winner, you know, and it must be me.”

• Becca Freeman at [41:06]: “I have had such a sense of failure and such a sense of competition and I'm coming up really lacking.”

• Olivia Muenter at [52:27]: “There's this fixation on these details that you think, like, Amazon rankings... I struggle with sometimes.”

• Becca Freeman at [66:13]: “My biggest goal is to go easier on myself.”

• Olivia Muenter at [66:18]: “I want to remember that comparison is not creative... to actually enjoy my life and like myself.”

This episode offers a profound exploration of how comparison and competition shape our professional trajectories and personal well-being. Becca and Olivia's honest dialogue provides listeners with relatable insights and practical reflections on navigating these complex emotions.