Episode 16 - Open WIDE

Summary

Bawdy Storytelling Podcast – Episode 16: “Open WIDE”
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Date: February 2, 2017

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Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling centers around the theme of open relationships, exploring the diverse, sex-positive worlds of swinging and polyamory through hilarious, honest, and explicit stories told live. Dixie De La Tour, the show’s vibrant “sexual folklorist,” guides listeners through the experiences of two women from Chicago’s thriving non-monogamous community: one a proud swinger, the other a poly community leader. Expect candid self-reflection, humor, taboo-breaking tales, and moments of both vulnerability and raunchy fun.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction to Open Relationships

[01:17]–[04:45]

• Dixie sets the tone: “How many of you out there identify as polyamorous, or as non-monogamous, or as being in open relationships? Did I… oh, swingers. Don’t forget swingers!”
• Notes lack of positive synonyms for “polyamory” and “non-monogamy” in standard dictionaries: “I went to thesaurus.com, looked up polyamory. It ain’t there… The only thing I could think to look up was monogamy and look up antonyms for monogamy. And it was. It's. It's not positive.”
• Describes “Bango” — dirty bingo cards used at live shows to spark flirtation and community among open relationship folks.
• Dixie challenges social misconceptions: “Maybe out there in the rest of the world they don’t approve of this sort of behavior. But we… We’re there for you.”
• The show’s musical intro is “Open Relationship” by Andy Clockwise.
• Sets up that both stories this episode come from a Chicago show: “The polyamorous community in the Chicago area is huge. People came in from hours away.”

Story #1: “Cougars and Cuckolds” — Sarah McGuinn (Swinger)

[04:45]–[17:28]

Story Highlights

• Sarah describes herself not as a “cougar,” but humorously recounts how, at 31, she ended up having sex with an 18-year-old named Danny.
• Married for nine years to Bill; always been non-monogamous. “We’ve been swingers… from parties to threesomes to couple swapping. We actually had our very first orgy on Sunday. Very exciting.”
• Bill enjoys cuckold scenarios; Sarah describes him as “the tall, sexy bald guy with tattoos and piercings.”
• First meets Danny, her stepdaughter’s ex, at Target. He’s sweet, nerdy, and still a virgin.
• Sarah offers to “coach” Danny in flirting rather than seduce him at first. Jokes about American Pie and invites him for a movie night while her husband is away.
• The moment things turn sexual:
  • [12:00] “If you send that to him, I’m going to kiss you.” — Danny
  • Sarah: “Threw my fucking phone on the floor and just attacked him.”
• Bill comes home and sees them mid-makeout — handles it with comedic calm, hands over a condom, and leaves to let them have privacy.
• Sarah details a playful, explicit, and consensual losing-of-virginity scene with honest attention to nerves, excitement, and the thrill of taboo:
  • [15:05] Danny’s unexpectedly confident: “He’s like a fucking pro, right? …I’m the one losing my shit over here, and you’re the one just like you’ve done it a million times.”
• The sex is “taboo and slutty and really hot in that way,” but also “intimate and kind of special.”
• The affair with Danny continues for months; Sarah jokes: “I’m probably not a cougar, but channeling Stifler’s mom for a couple months was pretty fucking fun.”

Notable Quotes

• “For us… we’ve been swingers, so we have sex with other people outside of our marriage…” — Sarah [05:31]
• “But Danny was not your typical 18-year-old… He was very sexy though.” — Sarah [06:35]
• “Is it okay if Bill watches? Because that’s a fucking normal question to ask somebody, right?” — Sarah [13:16]
• “The entire experience was really incredibly hot, but on these, like, different levels… taboo and slutty and really hot… but also rather intimate and kind of special…” — Sarah [16:23]

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Show Community and Midwest Myths

[17:45]–[20:35]

• Dixie underscores the openness and pride of Chicago’s non-monogamous community:
  • “Don’t let them tell you in the Midwest they don’t know what they’re doing. I love that these people are loud and proud about what they believe in.”

Story #2: “The Long Goodbye” — Ashley (Polyamorous)

[20:35]–[33:52]

Story Highlights

• Begins with Ashley and her lover (“Romeo”) in Houston, sharing a passionate, last night together before Ashley’s move to Chicago for her husband’s medical career.
• Introduces her “Prince Charming,” Steven: they met at age 17–18 and soon realized their love style was different.
• Discovery of Polyamory: “It wasn’t until our mid-20s that we actually found the word ‘polyamorous.’”
• Faces the bittersweet process of saying goodbye not just to friends and family, but to multiple partners and lovers:
  • Eric: “Everybody knows an Eric. I want you to picture that Eric. That’s exactly what my Eric looked like.”
  • The Party Couple: “At their place they had a ball pit in their basement… and a stripper pole… That’s where I first fucked him, was in the ball pit.”
  • Romeo and Juliet: A meaningful couple; Juliet, the “primary,” tells Ashley she should have one final night alone with Romeo.
• The goodbye tryst with Romeo: elaborate, kinky scene with spreader bars, floggers, rope, and mutual creativity and affection.
  • Kink details: Rope bondage is Ashley’s favorite: “He was the first one to really push my boundaries… I love the confinement of it… and the release when it is coming off your body.”
  • Multiple kinds of sex, enthusiastic consent, and detailed sensory description.
  • Condom misadventure:

    “One wrapper, two wrapper, three wrapper, four. …I’m like, what the fuck just happened? My body finally relaxed enough after the amazing sex that it just decided to ooze its way down. And he goes, ‘You just gave birth to our condom baby.’” — Ashley [32:57]

• Ashley reflects on her move to Chicago: welcomed by the local poly community, delighted by the difference from Texas’ conservative environment.
  • “I still talk to them to this day… My winning story was a wonderful goodbye, sad goodbye, funny surprises… but now I’m here and I have wonderful partners… I love Chicago.”

Notable Quotes

• “It wasn’t just fucking people. We actually started dating people and loving people and fucking them and having fun…” — Ashley [22:16]
• “As you do with any private hot tub, you get naked because he had a hot tub in his backyard.” — Ashley [27:25]
• “You just gave birth to our condom baby.” — Romeo, quoted by Ashley [32:57]
• “It was just so nice to come up here and not have to worry about the conservatives right behind your back and just be able to open up to you guys.” — Ashley [33:42]

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Host’s Reflections, Community, & Matchmaking

[33:52]–[39:00]

• Dixie playfully tries to “fix up” Sarah (the swinger) and Ashley (the polyamorist):
  • “There ain’t much difference between swinger and polyamorous except the word you choose to call it… I would love to see the swinger world and the polyamorous world cross-pollinate, shall we call them?”
• Champions the community-building potential of Bawdy Storytelling: “My whole reason to be alive is to get your ass to a live show… They also find their community. They make new friends. The world’s a lonely place.”
• Upcoming events teased: 10th anniversary shows, festivals, and more (details omitted here as per guidelines).

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Memorable Moments and Quotes (with Timestamps)

• [04:58] Sarah McGuinn:
  “I’ve never really thought of myself as a cougar… But so it’s still kind of incredible to me to think that just a few years ago I was 31 and I was fucking this really hot 18-year-old guy on the couch in my living room while my kids and my husband were upstairs.”

• [11:03] Sarah/Danny:
  “If you send that to him, I’m going to kiss you.”
  “Threw my fucking phone on the floor and just attacked him.”

• [13:16] Sarah:
  “Is it okay if Bill watches? Because that’s a fucking normal question to ask somebody, right?”

• [15:05] Sarah:
  “I’m the one losing my shit over here, and you’re the one just like you’ve done it a million times.”

• [22:16] Ashley:
  “It wasn’t just fucking people. We actually started dating people and loving people and fucking them and having fun…”

• [27:25] Ashley:
  “As you do with any private hot tub, you get naked because he had a hot tub in his backyard.”

• [32:57] Ashley:
  “You just gave birth to our condom baby.” — Romeo

• [33:42] Ashley:
  “It was just so nice to come up here and not have to worry about the conservatives right behind your back and just be able to open up to you guys.”

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Conclusion

Bawdy Storytelling’s “Open WIDE” is a bold, hilarious, and moving celebration of non-monogamy in its many forms. Through Sarah’s swinger exploits and Ashley’s polyamorous journey, the episode destigmatizes alternative relationships, foregrounds the importance of communication, consent, and community, and spotlights both the light and poignant sides of sexual adventure.
Dixie’s warm, irreverent hosting ties it all together, making space for laughter, empathy, and “dirty, dirty stories” that go beyond titillation into real, human connection.

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For full, explicit details with all the feels, listen to Bawdy Storytelling Episode 16: “Open WIDE.”

Transcript

[Sarah McGuinn]

Wow.

[Dixie de La Tour]

I was looking at your face and the keys in the.

[Ashley]

And I thought, I'm in an open relationship.

[Sarah McGuinn]

I was looking at your friend and he was eyeing me hole. I'm in an open relationship.

[Ashley]

And I saw you take his hand and he walked you to his van. Oh, shit. I'm in an open relationship.

[Sarah McGuinn]

Well, it walked me down and I saw you frown. I'm in an open relationship.

[Ashley]

But baby, this shit is driving me crazy.

[Sarah McGuinn]

Crazy.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Cause every time you take a guy.

[Ashley]

I ask myself why I agreed to our open relationship.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Bodi storytelling podcast. I am sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour, and I have a brand new episode full of dirty, dirty stories for you this week. How many of you people out there identify as polyamorous or identify as non monogamous or identify as being in open relationships? Did I? Oh, swingers. Don't forget swingers. You know, I was looking for all of the synonyms to identify with open relationships, and this shocked the fuck out of me. I went to thesaurus.com, looked up polyamory. It ain't there. I looked up non monogamy is hyphenated. It ain't there. The only thing I could find, because, you know, dictionary.com thesaurus.com, the only thing I could think to look up was monogamy and look up antonyms for monogamy. And it was. It's. It's not positive. Y'.

[Sarah McGuinn]

All.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Y' all should go look it up yourself. So I want to tell you, maybe out there in the rest of the world, they don't approve of this sort of behavior. But we. We're there for you. In fact, we have a game that we play at body storytelling. If you come to a live show, one of the first things that will happen to you is you will be handed a bango card. A bango card is dirty bingo. And the idea is to get you to talk to people you haven't met yet. So you get to walk up to that very attractive person across the room and choose a question or just say, can you answer any of these in the very middle of that card, in most cases will be a question that says, find someone who identifies as polyamorous. Do you know why it's in the center of the card? Because the center of a bingo card is the free spot. And everybody who comes to our show, not everybody, but a huge percentage, identify as swingers or polyamorous or in open relationships. Not only are we a great player place to flirt, but it's a Great place to find community. So if you don't know anything about these worlds, you're about to learn firsthand from stories who live the lifestyle. We're going to call this episode Open Wide because we're going to talk about open relationships in many different forms. The song that you heard when we came into this episode was Open Relationship. It's by Andy Clockwise. It's brand new to me. I like it a lot. I hope you do, too. Our first story. Well, hell, both the stories that you're going to hear on this episode are from a recent show that we did in Chicago. Chicago is. You know, I heard the Midwest was one of those places where maybe they're not quite as wild as we are in San Francisco. And you know what? When they tell you shit like that, they're wrong. They have a firmly entrenched community. The polyamorous community in the Chicago area is huge. People came in from hours away that had heard about us in the swinger communities in the polyamorous community. Our first story in this episode is from a woman who identifies as a swinger. Her name is Sarah McGuinn. And we like to call this story Cougars and Cuckolds.

[Sarah McGuinn]

Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for having me here. I'm very, very excited to be telling story for the first time at Bodi.

[Dixie de La Tour]

So.

[Sarah McGuinn]

I've never really thought of myself as a cougar. I've actually, for the most part, I've been attracted mainly to older men. Case in point, my husband is 11 years older than me. And so the whole idea of, like, seeking out sex with a significantly younger guy just wasn't really in my wheelhouse. But so it's still kind of incredible to me to think that just a few years ago I was 31 and I was fucking this really hot 18 year old guy on the couch in my living room while my kids and my husband were upstairs. So my husband Bill and I have been married for nine years. Nine years. Tonight, actually. It is our anniversary. There's no place else that we would rather be, but right here. And you've probably seen him. He's here tonight. He's like the tall, sexy bald guy with all the tattoos and the piercings. Very hot. So we've been non monogamous for our entire marriage. And actually for the vast majority of time that we were dating. And non monogamy can mean a lot of different things to different people. And for us, it's meant primarily that we've been swingers, so we have sex with other people outside of Our marriage and we've had a lot of. We've had. Thank you. We've had a lot of really fun experiences over the years. And they've, you know, from parties to threesomes to couple swapping. We actually had our very first orgy on Sunday. Very exciting. And then also Bill has some cuckold fantasies. And so again, cuckolding can mean a lot of different things. But for us it's been primarily that I have sex with other men while he watches and I'm a little bit slutty, so it kind of works out for me. It works out really well for both of us. But still, even with all these experiences like seeking out sex with a younger guy just wasn't really something that I was looking for. But Danny was not your typical 18 year old, let's put it that way. He was very sexy though. So if you kind of think like Joseph Gordon Levitt, but you know, still with that baby face but short hair and he's really fucking to die for, just, you know, blue, gray, really sexy eyes. The first time that I met him, well, he was actually on a date with my stepdaughter who. But it's okay because they dated for a hot minute. It didn't work out. I really didn't even think anything of it. It was okay. But then a few months later I was grocery shopping at Target and who do I run into but Danny, because it turns out that he worked there. So we started talking for a little bit and it was mostly about books because I'm also a really huge nerd. And we ended up exchanging numbers because he was going to come over and borrow a book sometime and he did. A few days later he came over, he borrowed a book and we ended up talking for hours and hours. And he is definitely an old soul and you know, we talked for a long time, covered a lot of things. So sex and relationships inevitably came up and we, I did share with him that Bill and I were swingers and he shared with me that he was still a virgin and he was, he was, he wanted to have sex. He was, he was, you know, he wanted to lose his virginity, but he was a little shy, you know, and kind of had trouble making the first move when it came to meeting girl through. So honestly at this point I really, I really didn't think that we were going to sleep together because call me naive, but what 18 year old wants to lose their virginity to a 31 year old woman who's the stepmom of somebody that he dated, right? Like that's not a thing, right? Is that a thing? So instead, I offered to coach him, you know, so I would give him these, like, little homework assignments, right? And I was like, okay, well, so today, just, you know, just. Just talk to somebody cute. Just talk to, like, a cute customer or. Because he was. He worked at Target, right? He was meeting new people all the time, or, you know, flirt with a cute coworker, get somebody's number. And the whole thing really reminded me of, like, the whole idea of trying to meet somebody in order to have sex for the very first time reminded me of that movie American Pie. Do you guys remember that movie? That 90s movie? So for those of you that haven't seen it or that don't remember it, it's about. The main premise is you've got these four high school seniors, these four boys who make a pact that they all need to lose their virginity by prom night. And so I made a joking reference to Danny one time, and he was like, oh, I've never seen that movie. I'm like, oh, well, you totally have to see this movie. Why don't you come over to my house? And so we made a date. We were gonna. You know, he was gonna come over and watch the movie. And the night that we picked, actually, Bill's in a band, so he had a music gig that night, so he was gonna be out of the house the whole evening. And so when I told him that Danny was coming over to watch the movie, to watch American Pie, he was. And. And I was pretty adamant that, like, nothing sexual was gonna happen. And Bill looked at me, and he was just like, yeah, right, sure. I know you better than that. So. But so. So Danny came over, we watched the movie. Nothing happened. And so we were sitting on the couch, and we were just talking, laughing about. About the movie. And then I get a text message on my phone, and it was from Bill, and he was like, hey, I'm in the driveway. Are you and Danny making out? And I looked at it, and I kind of chuckled because obviously we were very much not making out. And. And Jordan or Danny and I were sitting pretty close on the. On the couch together, and I showed it to him, and he kind of. You know, he kind of laughed, and he was like, you should respond, not yet. And I was like, okay. And then I started to write, and Danny could see what I was writing, and I was like, danny says not yet. And then Danny could see it, and he was just like, do not fucking send that to your husband. Do not send that to your husband. And then. And he looks at me and he was like, if you send that to him, I'm going to kiss you. And I looked at him and I was just like, well, fucking shit. That's all she wrote. Threw my fucking phone on the floor and just attacked him. And I was like. I was. So I was on top of him on the couch. I was kissing him, like, pretty aggressively. And I just. I had my hands everywhere, right? Just in his hair and on his chest and on his hips. And my fucking body was going crazy, you know, because I was just. It was all like butterflies and heat and adrenaline and all I wanted was to get his fucking clothes off. And then I hear the front door open and I see Bill walk in. And I'm lying on top of Danny at this point, and I kind of look over and I'm like, hey, baby, how you doing? And I can only imagine how Danny was feeling at this point, right? Because he. He knows that. He knew that we were swingers, but he didn't, like, really know that we were swingers, right? So. But anyway, so Bill walks in and he's very not surprised. And so he proceeds to then take a seat on the edge of the couch and just kind of like get comfortable for the show, you know, like it's one of our normal cuckold scenarios. And so then I lean over Danny and I whisper in his ear. I'm like, is it okay if Bill watches? Because that's a fucking normal question to ask somebody, right? But Danny was super cool about it, right? He was kind of like, look, you.

[Ashley]

Know.

[Sarah McGuinn]

It is my first time. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like, I was so embarrassed. I'm so, so sorry. Right? I totally get it. And I go over and I tell Bill, I'm like, this is not. This is not one of these things. And he was like, okay. He hands me a condom and then very, very graciously goes upstairs and leaves me alone with this really sexy 18 year old in our living room. And so I'm on top of him and we're making out again. And so I take off his shirt. I take off my shirt, my bra. Cause I don't want him to have to deal with that. And then. And I, you know, I lean over him and he's like, you know, he's grabbing my tits and sucking them and I reach down between his legs and he's just. He's so hard. And. And it occurs to me, like, okay, so I don't really. I don't want him to come too fast, right? But at the same time, I really want to fucking taste his cock. So I take off the rest of his clothes. I take off my clothes, and I go down on him gently and slowly, just for a minute or two, just for fun. And then after, I kind of. I come up and I look at him, and I was like, are you sure that you want to do this? And he looks at me and he's.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Like, yeah, yeah, I do.

[Sarah McGuinn]

I'm like, all right, awesome. I put a condom on him, and then I guide his cock to my pussy and slowly lower myself down. And as I feel him slide into me, my fucking thoughts are, like, no longer coherent. And I start, you know, rocking on top of him. And I'm looking at him expecting some kind of mind blowing, holy fuck, this is my first time, right? No, he's like a fucking pro, right? He's just like, yeah. I'm like, I'm the one losing my.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Shit over here, and you're the one.

[Sarah McGuinn]

Just like, you've done it a million times. So actually, he did not come right away. Very impressive. And so, yeah, seriously. And so we switched positions. He was on top for a little bit, and I really. I couldn't take my eyes off of his face because he just had this awesome expression on his face. His eyes were closed, but his mouth was open just a little bit. And he was smiling, like, ever so slightly, right? So fucking hot. Really, the entire. The entire experience was really incredibly hot, but on these, like, different levels, right? Because it was kind of, you know, like, taboo and slutty and really hot in that way. But it was also rather intimate and kind of special and really hot in that way, too. And so afterwards, we're lying on the couch completely naked, and surprisingly, it was not at all awkward. We're just sitting there just, like, chatting, and we actually ended up having kind of an ongoing thing for a little bit. He would come over, we would fuck a couple times a week. And that happened for a few months. And so even looking back at this experience, I think that I would still say I'm probably not. I'm still probably not a cougar, but channeling Stifler's mom for a couple of months was pretty fucking fun. Thank you.

[Ashley]

You and me and her. Simultaneous you and me and you and you. Simultaneous love and be back two or three simultaneous. Come on.

[Dixie de La Tour]

That story was from Sarah, and she performed it live on stage at Body Storytelling in Chicago. An interesting thing about Sarah's story is she was so proud of that story and so proud of her lifestyle that she invited her entire family to the show to see her tell that story on stage. Her husband was recording the video with a giant grin on his face. She introduced me to, this is my sister, this mother sister, this mother sister, this mother sister, my sister's husband. And I was like, wow. Don't let them tell you in the Midwest, they don't know what they're doing. I love that these people are loud and proud about what they believe in and how they live their life. It's a positive thing. So we have started a Patreon for body Storytelling. We have been doing live shows for 10 years, but we're brand new to podcasting, and I need people who know what they're doing because we gotta host the podcast. And I know it sounds like I'm hosting the podcast, and that should. But you know what? That's not worth talk about. We're talking about terabytes and shit. Because nobody looks at the career of storyteller and goes, she's probably really good with technology, I bet, because books. So if you like this show, if you like what we're doing, if you are loud and proud, if you're polyamorous, if you're a swinger, if you want people to be more accepting, to create a world where being exactly who you are is not only y', all, I'll tell you the truth. I ain't good at asking for money. I'm not good at asking for help. So we'[e-mail] bawdy spelled b a w D Y. If you would like to support ba di storytelling and you'd like to help me keep making this thing so that we can make it bigger and make it better, then your support can make that happen. We'[e-mail] BODI thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for telling people and for supporting this podcast. So let's get back to it, shall we? Swinging as well as polyamory is where hooking up with someone's partner is not only, you know, accepted and permitted, it's endorsed in many cases. Our next story is from a woman who identifies as polyamorous. She is a leader in the polyamory community in the Chicago area, and she hasn't been in Chicago long, so that's pretty impressive. Our next story is from Ashley, and we like to call this story the Long Goodbye.

[Ashley]

Hello. Hello, everyone. All right, so my story begins in Houston, Texas. I'm soaking wet, naked with Romeo. He has Me by the hand. He's dragging me up the stairs, stairs. He's prancing me through the room. We get to the door, we know that I'm about to be in a U haul heading to Chicago the next morning at 6am and this is our last night together. This is our last rendezvous. So he has me by the hand again. He's rock hard, both soaking wet. He opens the door and on the bed are all of my favorite things. All of them spreader bars, chains, leather floggers, and in a bundle, rope. My favorite. Now I gotta backtrack and let me introduce you to Romeo. But the really primary foundation to where this all began. My husband, my prince Charming, my Steven. So my Steven is like a Kylo Ren, low key and Benedict Cumberbatch. If they all fucked and made a baby, that's what my husband looks like. So Stephen, he and I started dating. We met in fourth grade and started dating in our younger years at 17 and 18. And we knew, yeah, I know, all 10 years, this upcoming February. So I'm excited. So what ended up happening is we knew that we fucked differently at 17 and 18. We knew that we loved people differently. We knew that we wanted to start dating other people at 17 and 18. And it wasn't until we were our mid-20s that we actually found the word polyamorous. And then we started building our relationship around that. And so when that happened, our relationship shifted. It wasn't just fucking people. We actually started dating people and loving people and fucking them and having fun. But it developed. And so I started having people that I started to date. And it wasn't until 2015 where he called me and told me that he'd been traveling, he's been in medical school. He called and told me that he matched at hospital and I was very excited. This was January of 2015. I'm excited. He's telling me, he's about to tell me where our next step is in our future. And he tells me it's Chicago and that I only have until June 25th to pack my stuff and relocate where he is. And this is exciting. My job can go anywhere and I'm so excited. He just matched at a hospital. He's about to be this doctor and I'm so excited. But this is the first time I have to say goodbye to friends and, and family and to my partners, which I've never had to do before. Like, how do you tell your partner that you've been dating and you know, doing all these things that have done so much for you and your marriage, but also them that you're gonna say goodbye. So I figured it out. We led life normally, and then in June, we decided to like, start saying goodbye. So first I said goodbye to Eric. Now everybody knows an Eric. I want you to picture that Eric. That's exactly what my Eric looked like. Okay, so like, just typical Eric. We hadn't been dating long. He was kind of my first, like long term rendezvous. But our connection wasn't as strong, so it was a little easier. I know this is sad to say it was easier to say goodbye to Eric, but we both were just. It was more fun, but it was easier. But then I had another couple, the party couple. So I like to call them Luke and Leia because literally they're like, woo. So you go out and have fun with them. And at their place they had a ball pit in their basement. Just. Yeah. And a stripper pole. Like, that's where I first fucked him, was in the ball pit. Like, it was great. So the party couple, right? So we went like we always did. Went and partied, had fun, went back to the ball pit and fucked one last time in the ball pit. So that was great. So that was our goodbye. But then there was Romeo and Juliet. And Romeo and Juliet was a couple that I was dating for a while. Juliet looked exactly like me. It was hilarious. Actually, Romeo, sometimes behind, would take pictures when we were naked because our asses, he couldn't tell apart. So he was just like. He was like. So Romeo and Juliet and Romeo, of course. I found out that I had a type. So Benedict Cumberbatch, Loki, and of course fucking baby, but on steroids. Okay, so that was my Romeo. So we decided to have a nice quiet dinner, all three of us. We went to dinner, went back to their place and had fun. But this is where the story changed. Juliet calls me the next day, Juliet calls me and says, I know we've had a great connection. She was also my really good best friend. It was a wonderful relationship I developed with them. So Juliet calls me and she tells me, you and Romeo have something special. You and Romeo need to have one last night together. And as the primary partner, to give up their time to get out of the place, to go stay with their parents, to move out of the way for you to have time with them was like. We both teared up on the phone. We're crying and I'm like, oh, God. Okay, bye. Love you. All right. And then I have three days left. I'm like, well, shit, I have to pack A U haul. I'm like, oh my God. Okay, so I get one night. I'm like, what am I gonna do? So I call Romeo up and literally the only night that we have left is the night before I leave. So I pack all day with my parents. I'm like, peace, I'll be here at 6am and leave. They don't know what I'm doing. I'm like, okay, okay. Hanging out with friends. Okay. So I go back and I hang out with Romeo. The U haul's packed at my parents place. I need to be there by 6am I'm in Houston, Texas, conservative. And I'm like, okay, bye. I'm not doing anything, you know. Cause yeah, you kind of have to be a little secretive there. Luckily, the poly scene is getting better and opening up. So I go and meet Romeo. We are dressed to the nines. We go to a nice Italian dinner. We are reminiscing, we are laughing, we are having fun and just talking about our times. And then of course, as conversation does, it shifted. We started talking about the rope and the spreader bars and the things. And the first suspension I ever had, which he did with me. And just the feeling of that and the excitement of all that. And then we're like, get the check, just get the check. We're done. Okay, so now our reminiscing has changed. And we went to his place and as you do with any private hot tub, you get naked because he had a hot tub in his backyard. So we get naked and like that's like, okay, I just want to fuck you now. And then he's like, no, no, get in the tub. And I'm like, okay, fine. So we get in the hot tub and I start. He's on the other side because we know we can't sit next to each other or we would just fuck right there. And we don't want it to just last fucking. You just don't want it to end in the hot tub. So I'm like reaching my foot over like kind of playing with his cock a little bit. And I can feel that he's getting hard. He's scooching closer, grabbing my nipples and twisting a little bit and so biting my ears and my neck, my favorite places. He's starting to bite that and I'm like. And he goes, shh. I'm like, okay. Grabs my hand. We're both soaking wet and naked and he starts bringing me upstairs. Now he has a rock hard cock. And I'm like, come. Okay, calm. So we walk up the stairs. We're going up the stairs. He's prancing me up those stairs. And he opens the door. And this is where I see all of my favorite things. Now let me describe this rope, because I told you that was my favorite thing. This rope is my favorite. He was the first one to really push my boundaries. He was the first one to get my limits. And I love the confinement of it. I love the being empowered by him. And I love the release when it is coming off of your body. So he takes me over to the bed. He leans into my ear, and he tells me, bend over. I was like, okay, okay. So I bend over. Okay, still standing. He rips my feet apart and throws my hands apart. So I'm in the X position. But bending over the bed, I hear him get the ropes. He starts untying. He has little rigging points under his bed. And he actually starts tying my feet to the bed. And then he yanks my hands to the other side and ties my hands to the other side of the bed, picks up the blindfold and puts it over my eyes. So now I don't know what he's going to grab. All my favorite things are out. And I don't know. I have to listen and I have to feel so I can hear the chain. He lays it across my back. And I think he just wanted to the cold on my back. So he puts the cold on my back. I hear him grab something, and then all of a sudden, I feel the first pop on my back of the flogger. And so he starts flogging me, hitting me lightly. And then I can hear him fuddling around with things. And again, it's all sensory right now. And I feel a loud sting on my ass with the crop. So now he's flogging and cropping, and I feel other things. I feel more rope. So he starts making braces around my chest, doing all sorts of fun things. I'm getting excited by this. He's purposely leaning over me so I can feel his cock on my ass. And so by this point, I say, fuck me, please. So he grabs a condom. I fear the first condom rip open. He slides it on and he starts fucking me. And I am just beside myself. I am literally dripping down my leg. He's applauding me for being a good girl. So then again, after that happens, he then pulls out of me, and I can feel him actually start playing with my ass. And I hear another condom rip open. And he's like, are you ready? And I'm like, yes, sir. And he starts fucking me and my ass. And so I'm just going to town. I'm loving what's going on. I'm just like, oh my God. By this point he can tell I'm just beside myself. So he unties one of my hands so that I can literally grab him and like pull him into me. Because I'm just like ready. He unties my other hand. So now I have both hands free, still with a blindfold on. Then he pulls out of me and he's like, I'm gonna. I want to fuck your pussy. Because by this point I'm like, okay. So he unties one of my legs. The other leg is still tied. And he like acrobatically like, flings me around, rips off my blindfold, puts on another condom and starts fucking me. Jackhammer. Fuck me stupid. Like, I don't, I don't even know when I came it happened, but it was like so. Yeah, and it was great. And he collapses on top of me and we just rest until our orgasm subsides. And then he looks at me, he growls at me because he always growled at me. And he goes, I'm not done. And he unties my last little rope. He slides on a condom and just scoops me up, puts me in the middle of the bed and just very intimate. Wonderful. Goodbye sex. Amazing. And we wrap up and we're laying there. We came one more time, we're just laying there and we're just like. And I look over at the clock and I'm like, shit, I need at least three hours of sleep. But now we have ropes and this there, that there. Condom, condom, condom wrapper. And we're like, oh, we gotta clean up, I need to sleep. U haul's packed, I gotta go. So now we're frantically cleaning up the room so we can get some sort of sleep. He's very particular about his toys, so I just kinda throw em at him. And he's doing that. But I'm getting all of the like wiping down the bed and like getting the condoms. And then I started looking into the trash can. One wrapper, two wrapper, three wrapper, four. What did I hear? One wrapper, two wrapper, three wrapper, four condoms. One, two, three. We're missing a condom. No one wants to find a dried condom anywhere ever. That's not a good surprise you want. That is not the jackpot you want. So yeah, so we start looking and he's just calmly like looking through the toy bag. I'm like, prancing around. And I go, I know this isn't pretty. I know this is our last night together. And I start having to fist myself, like, in front of him looking for a condom. I don't feel it. So I'm like, walking around the room and finally I bend over the bed, trying to shake out pillows and stuff, and he's rolling up rope and he laughs out loud and I feel a plop. And I'm like, oh, my God. And he's laughing just like, oh, my God. And I'm like, what? And I look down and there's a condom. I'm like, what the fuck just happened? Well, my body finally relaxed enough after the amazing sex that it just decided to ooze its way down. And just like. And he goes, you just gave birth to our condom, baby. I was like, yay. So that was our little happy ending. And the last line of this, like, little rendezvous was, I just go, ha, ha, good thing I'm on birth control. And that was not the parting goodbye I would want. So now I am here. I literally packed up into the U haul. I still talk to them to this day. But my winning story was a wonderful goodbye, sad goodbye, funny surprises. But then I got up here and now I have wonderful partners. Some of them are here tonight. I have met amazing people, and you guys have welcomed me like nobody's business. This is the awesome city, and it was just so nice to come up here and not have to worry about the conservatives right behind your back and just be able to open up to you guys. So I want to thank you because this has been awesome and I love Chicago. So go Cubs. Right? So.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Okay, so that last story was from Ashley. And we'll tell you a little story about this show because y' all know I'm a matchmaker, right? You know, I like to fix people up. So Sarah, the first story, she identifies as a swinger. Ashley, the second story, identifies as polyamorous. There ain't much difference between swinger and polyamorous except the word you choose to call it. And they had never met each other. And they were. You can't see them because it's a podcast, but they are mighty attractive, both of them. Very attractive. So at the end of the show, Sarah's good looking, bald headed, tattooed husband had been recording her story on video. And when he had said, do you want me to record anybody else in the show so I can let you use it? I went, could you make sure you get Ashley's story? And so he had footage from both of them. And at the end of the night when they said thank you, I loved performing at Bawdy. That was so much fun. I'm like, I need to ask you a big old favor, Sarah. Your super hot husband recorded Ashley's story. And I don't think y' all know each other, so you might want to know each other. And her eyes lit up and she kind of grinned and she went, oh, yeah, I think you might be right about that. So I, I haven't heard. I live in San Francisco. I haven't heard if anything happened, but I did try and fix them up. I would love to see the swinger world and the polyamorous world cross pollinate, shall we call them? Cause you know, I don't understand why we get so hung up on words. If you feel free to fuck who you want, Fuck who you want. I'll call you exactly what you tell me to call you. So let's hope that worked out. And then I can rub my hands together and feel powerful because you know what happens? I go home and I masturbate from the power of it. Sorry, that was a visual. All right. So you know, my whole reason to be alive is to get your ass to a live show. I believe that when people get together in a room, they not only do they get laid, yes, they get laid. But they also find their community. They make new friends. The world is a lonely place. So put your phone down, come play bango, ask people about their buttholes, make new friends, win bags of sex toys. All of those things happen at a live body storytelling. Our upcoming shows are this month because today is February 1st. That means body is having a birthday. Body is 10 years old as of February. So we are celebrating all over San Francisco. We are going to be doing the Body Songs Festival which is the this coming Saturday night at the Awakened Cafe in Oakland, followed by Doc's Lab in San Francisco. On February 9th. We're also going to have Body Got Me Laid where people get up on stage and tell the stories of how they not only, you know, found love. And we have stories about getting married. We have everything. And then it's going to be followed by our big 10 year anniversary shows. It's a two show night. The first one is going to be the rock stars. I can tell you that Melaina Williams coming in all the way from New York City to perform on our stage because it is her very favorite place to perform in the world. We have a lot of other rock stars coming soon and that will be followed by the best of Body. If you have stories that you have enjoyed on this podcast, go to our survey on Facebook. You will find it on our Facebook page and take the survey. Did you like Jeffrey Hayes story? Vote for Jeffrey Hayes. Did you like other stories? Vote for those people. The top five storytellers will be on the stage for a 10 year anniversary for the Best of Body. And you decide who's on that stage that shows on February 25th. It's a Saturday night, there'll be lots of sex toys and flirting and cocktails and the culmination of a decade of my life. So I hope to see you there at a live show. We're going to be back on the road again soon. My dream for the 10 year anniversary is to do a national tour. It's something I've been talking about for years. If you want me on the east coast, send me an [e-mail] Tell me what city you live in and I'm hoping we can include you when we go on tour. I want to say thank you, as I always do, to our podcast producer Matthew Marder, to David Grossoff who records our live shows, to Joe Moore, to Reuben Tan, to all the people who helped me put together Body Story Storytelling. I'm so grateful to have a team. If you see them in a live show, say thank you to their face too, will you? We're going to end this episode with Perils of Polly. It's from Gaia Consort. Thank you so much for listening. We will see you at a live show soon and we'll be back next week with more of the Body Storytelling podcast. Thanks. See you soon.

[Sarah McGuinn]

Mike and Jenna, Dylan, Jim, Raven, Morgan, Allison, Jenna, Donna, Dan.

[Dixie de La Tour]

But no, not that Jim.

[Ashley]

Date night, sleep night.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Patrick, Ellis, Catherine.

[Ashley]

Maybe in a year never mean a thing again.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Jen and Mike are freaking out, twisting.

[Sarah McGuinn]

Head, unprotected sister Raven at a party.

[Dixie de La Tour]

And now Morgan's kind of sore.

[Sarah McGuinn]

Raven isn't calling back and they're all having heart attacks and Morgan isn't sure.

[Ashley]

If she is poly anymore.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Nightmare to how is it love for.

[Ashley]

Good pleasure chasing everybody like we're candid. Daniel was a player. Daniel stepped in everybody's bed.

[Sarah McGuinn]

But now he's feeling guilty for the.

[Ashley]

Screwing that he did.

[Sarah McGuinn]

He's moving back to Omaha.

[Ashley]

He's moving back to liw. He says he's got religion and he's suing for the kids together. I was like yay, good thing I'm on birth control.