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Transcript39 lines
- [00:09]
Performer/Singer
$0.10 a dance that's what they pay me Gosh, how they weigh me down 10 cents a dance Dandies and ruffles guys tough guys who tear my gown Seven to midnight I hear drums loudly the saxophone blow Trumpets are tearing my.
- [00:53]
Interjecting Storyteller
Eardrums.
- [00:57]
Performer/Singer
Customers crush my toes Sometimes I think I found my hero but it's a queer romance all that you need is a ticket Come on, big boy 10 cents a day.
- [01:31]
Dixie (Podcast Host)
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Bodi Storytelling Podcast. This week, our theme is Turning Pro, about people who got their feet wet and learned on the job. Those jobs might include sex work. They might include domination and a few other things. So I think that by the end of this, you're gonna have learned a few things, too. We've all had that fantasy about what it's like to get paid for the best thing in the world. And these stories are about people who gave it a try, and we're gonna live vicariously through their true adventures. Our first story this week is from a collaboration show with the Risk podcast. When they were here in San Francisco a few years ago, and Alice pitched Kevin, Allison, and I a great story, and we loved it so much, we put it on stage. And this recording is from that night of stories. The theme of the night was secrets, and this storyteller is Alice Page.
- [02:43]
Audience Member/Listener
Wow.
- [02:45]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
I moved to San Francisco about two years ago and very quickly realized that this is a very difficult city to survive in and that I needed a job that would pay a lot for relatively few hours of work. I moved here for graduate school.
- [03:06]
Interjecting Storyteller
So.
- [03:08]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
Sex work seemed like a viable option. But I, however, had no desire to have sex with people for money or even not for money. Although I did feel it was time to put these puppies to work. And so a friend of mine suggested that I combine my love for misery with my desperate need for money into one profession. Becoming a dominatrix. Now, I have to say, I was intrigued. Getting to yell at men for a living and. And those fabulous heels they wear. So the same friend found me a job opening at a BDSM co op in Berkeley. Of course, where else? And I promptly submitted an application with all the necessary requirements. Two full body length photos, a description of why I wanted to do this job. I want to kick men in the balls for a living. Okay. I learned at the Folsom Street Fair that this is extremely fun. And my available times. I received an automatic response informing me that they had received hundreds of applications and if they wanted me, they would contact me. So in the meantime, I decided to do Some research on what exactly a BDSM co op would entail. See, I'm originally from Washington D.C. so I understood power play, but not quite the nuances of BDSM or how this would work in a co op situation. Aren't co ops for fresh vegetables, not whips? And would there be communal chores? Like, would taking out the trash take on a whole new meaning? Would I be punished if I didn't fulfill my duties? But the co op at least provided all the gear and the training. So I began to imagine what exactly the training would involve. Proper spanking techniques, safe words, appropriate levels of verbal abuse. I had never read Fifty Shades of Grey. Would this be required reading or absolutely not. The email also informed me that I must be available twice a week from 10am to 8pm 10am really? 10am I am not a morning person, so I'm barely just beginning to function by that time. But I had no idea that people were getting their kink on at 10am on a Tuesday. That is dedication. My morning routine usually consists of brushing my teeth, getting dressed, maybe if I'm lucky, shoving some food down my throat, hopefully getting myself to work or school on time. I had never considered eating my eggs with a side of corporal discipline. And meanwhile, I was able to find the co op website online and quickly discovered that I would in no way fit in here. All the women were 1950s pinup, glamorous, gorgeous, seductive, unique. Kind of like Dixie here, or like Betty. Meet Betty with an E. Betty engages in anal play, erotic role play, water play, switch play, sissy play. I had never heard of most of this play. I didn't know what it would involve, but I did think that it kind of sounded like the most fun I'd have since my recess days had ended. So lo and behold, a few days later, I received an email, a response email asking me if A I had any visible tattoos. No, we're good there. I'm Jewish, no problem. And B if I would be interested in scheduling a phone interview. And just a few days after that, I was on the phone with a British woman who described herself as the headmistress. I'm sorry my accent is so bad. Who probably began yelling at me for everything I said or didn't say say. Now I'm terrified of confrontation. Yeah, I know this seems completely contradictory to becoming a dominatrix, but just hear me out. I've had breakups that have lasted for years because I'm too afraid to confront the fact that I no longer want to be in the relationship and tell them that I need out. I have conversations with people on the bus that I miss my stomach because I can't stand to tell them that I can't listen to their life story anymore. But since moving to San Francisco and living in the damn tender knob area where I have seen more shit, literally and figuratively, than I ever care to admit, I've had to toughen up. But before, I was a huge softie. So as this British headmistress snarls at me on the phone, I suddenly realize this is probably part of the test. She's trying to see how I'll react as a future dominatrix. She's breaking me in, so I suddenly shriek at her.
- [09:01]
Interjecting Storyteller
I can't take this anymore. You can't talk to me like this. I won't stand for this type of behavior.
- [09:08]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
I am shocked by my own outbursts. But I like it. I really, really like it. And apparently so does she. Suddenly she becomes silent. And then she says, we've been looking for someone just like you. We need someone to fill the bubbly blonde niche. Our clients are sick of the overly tattooed suicide girls. As she continues to rattle on about the co op pay structure, I begin to wonder. Bubbly blonde niche? I had no idea this was a thing in the dominatrix world. It seemed like an oxymoron. Bubbly blonde dominatrix, ka cha. But I also didn't know how I felt about filling this niche. I am not a bubbly blonde. I'm a fake blonde jewess who a complete stranger once described, very accurately, I should say, as a foxy curmudgeon. And I have not yet since heard a better description of my personality. So I had to imagine other niches that I could fill. Awkward teenager. I know I look young from my age, but I in no way wanted to live out that not so distant past reality. And what could I do with this voice? How would I ever intimidate anyone when I sound like, get down on your.
- [10:48]
Interjecting Storyteller
Knees and beg for it? I said, lick my boot.
- [10:55]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
It's a voice that only dogs can.
- [10:57]
Interjecting Storyteller
Hear and that clients would probably laugh.
- [11:03]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
And walk away from. And then it came to me. Nasally voice, Childbearing hips. No tattoos. Jewish mother. Dominatrix.
- [11:27]
Interjecting Storyteller
Oy vey. It's the perfect niche. I am so disappointed in you. You never write, you never call. You're not a lawyer or a doctor. When are you going to give me grandchildren? Write your thank you notes now.
- [11:52]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
Seriously, the world needs this. So many Jewish mommy issues, it's obscene. I mean, imagine a schmuck like Mark Zuckerberg works in who every day has to run this juggernaut of a company, who every day has to boss people around. And now it's his turn to be brought to his knees, and he begs to be dressed up like a baby and spanked for breaking with tradition and marrying a non Jewish shiksa. I mean, imagine the guilt he feels. He must be punished.
- [12:32]
Interjecting Storyteller
Now I'll never have Jewish grandchildren. Where's your yarmulke? I'm gonna drip candle wax from the menorah on you eight times.
- [12:46]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
Or a nebbishy Woody Allen type who is feeling guilty for no longer keeping kosher, I would put on my babushka and let him have it.
- [12:58]
Interjecting Storyteller
Eat your matzo balls now. Here, have another one. I said eat it. I don't care if you're hungry or not. Chicken soup is a Jewish penicillin.
- [13:13]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
My mother would be so proud of me right now. I'm lost in this reverie in the midst of my phone interview with the British headmistress when I find out that my schedule as a graduate student directly conflicts with their needs for me as a dominatrix. And I am promptly shut out. But I still carry with me this Jewish mother dominatrix Persona and have felt validated in my ability to simultaneously stay, stand up to, and annoy the shit out of the likes of bad boyfriends and catcallers alike. And if my career in a think tank doesn't work out, I think I found my other calling that the world truly needs. Thank you.
- [14:10]
Dixie (Podcast Host)
Again. That storyteller's name was Alice Paige, and I particularly love that story because I worked at that same house of domination. It was here in the Bay Area, and I had so many friends who told me I'd make a great dominatrix. What they didn't understand is I come from the Blue Ridge Mountains, a long line of domineering Irish women, but not necessarily dominating Irish women. But nonetheless, I interviewed at that house of domination. I sent them some information on me. They called me, they asked me some questions, and they asked me to come in and do. I'm not sure what you'd call it in bdsm. If you were a baker, you'd call it a stage. It's basically an unpaid internship. Let's give you a try and see how you do. So I went in and I walked around and I explored all the rooms. There were lots of those. Lots of thrones and lots of four poster beds. And if you went into the kitchen, there was this giant whiteboard that had taped off sections so that each person who worked there could have an X or a check mark next to whatever they were down to do. But I didn't earn an X or a check mark. So I sat around all day. There wasn't a lot going on. And eventually one of the other girls came in and she said, so I have this regular. She's very detailed. He's an older man, and he really likes a certain scene. In fact, he likes it so much, he likes to write out instructions. He submits a written fantasy, and we have to create it for him. And this scene is gonna need extra girls. Anybody wanna be an extra girl in this scene? And I, of course, raised my hand and said, fuck, yes, I'll be one of the girls in this scene. And as I read, which was really handy, if you're gonna go to a house of domination, be sure to take in a written description of exactly what you want. They gonna get it right. And the detailed description was that he wanted the woman he had hired to drug him and tie him to a bed. And when he woke up, he wanted us to tell him that she had given him a drug and that he was in the process of turning into a girl. So he feigned that he had passed out. And when he woke up, we all came in and we loomed over him and said, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. How do you like that? You're tied to the bed. You're helpless.
- [16:45]
Audience Member/Listener
Mistress.
- [16:46]
Dixie (Podcast Host)
Lillian looms over him and says, I don't know if you know this, but I gave you a concoction. And that concoction is working in your body right now, and it is changing you. Do you feel the change? Do you feel it happening right now? Because as we speak, you are no longer the man you were when you walked through the door. You are turning into a girl right now. And the rest of us were like, oh, yeah, I see it. Oh, my God, look at that. Look at that. And we're telling him all these things, and he's thrashing around on the bed.
- [17:15]
Audience Member/Listener
No, no, no.
- [17:16]
Dixie (Podcast Host)
I came over and I stuck my giant tits in his face. I'm like, look at me. I used to be a guy. This shit works. I did not get the job. So I'm a failure at being a dominatrix. I'm not really good at that kind of work. But one thing I'm good at is collecting stories and coaching stories. And now, thanks to the Internet, I can put those stories out into the world. But we need help to do that. And that's why this is rolling into a Patreon ad. You saw it coming. Patreon is what's helping us support this podcast and pay for all the things that need to happen to get it out into the world. I need help to do this and that means that your support of our Patreon will allow us to do this, to get bigger, to grow, and to give you the kind of stories you want. If you have something you'd like, let me know. I'm DixieBodyStoryTelling.com I like to make people happy and you can make me happy by supporting our patreon. We're@patreon.com that's spelled P A T R E O N. It's like patron, but they don't know how to spell it right. And it's patreon.com bawdy b a w D Y. That's a lot of spelling. Thanks for listening to all the spelling. Please support our Patreon. Please tell your friends about this podcast, review it on itunes or wherever you review things. We've been getting some incredible reviews and with your help, we'll keep doing it and we're gonna make it better.
- [19:09]
Another Performer/Singer
And I think my prices are fair. Cause this real cheap guy walked in one day that I knew saw a chair he wanted to buy but wouldn't Claimed the price was too high. Well, I looked him straight in the eye and this was my reply. Darling, if I can't sell it.
- [19:36]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
I'm.
- [19:36]
Another Performer/Singer
Gonna sit down on it. Ain't gonna give it away now if you want it, you're gonna have to buy it. And I mean just what I say. Now how would you like to come home and find this waiting for you every night? Only been used once or twice but still nice and tight.
- [20:05]
Audience Member/Listener
Woo.
- [20:08]
Another Performer/Singer
So I'm not gonna. I can't sell it. I ain't gonna sit on it. Now you can't find a better pair of legs in town or back like this. Not for miles around. So darling, if I can't sell it, I'm gonna keep sitting down on it. I ain't gonna get.
- [20:41]
Interjecting Storyteller
You're gonna rock it. You're gonna rock it.
- [20:46]
Audience Member/Listener
Thank you. So I'm standing in front of Destiny's front door and I gotta tell you, it doesn't look like much. It's generic. It looks like every other apartment door in this five story mid century apartment building up at the top of Potrero Hill where I'm standing in San Francisco. And the overhead fluorescent light isn't doing anything for the paint job. It just Makes it look dingy and kind of beat up. So maybe it sounds a little melodramatic for me to describe this as destiny's door, but there are those times in life when you know as it's happening that when you're about to set something in motion, it has the potential to change your life forever. And it just so happens, on this Saturday night in 1991, I'm having one of those moments. So I've described the door. It doesn't look like much. And I don't look like much either. I'm just wearing jeans and a sweater and comfortable flat shoes. You would need X ray vision to know that underneath I'm wearing what I consider to be my laciest, sexiest lavender teddy with matching garter belt and white stockings on underneath. If you can see inside my purse, you'd know that I'm carrying my sexiest, highest, strappiest heels. These shoes are ridiculous, okay? I can't even stand in them, let alone walk in them. So my plan is as soon as I get inside that door, I'm going to put them on right away. If you had X ray vision, you would know that there are two people waiting for me on the other side of that door. But when I say strangers, I've never met them. I have never even spoken to them on the phone. So I check my watch. It's 8 o' clock on the nose. So I'm either going to have to get this party started or I'm going to have to turn around and go home. It's my choice. No one's making me be here. I am terrified as fuck. But you know what? I have to find out what's on the other side of that door. So I screw up all my courage and I knock. In an instant it just whips right open. And there's this giant man standing there. He's barrel chested, he looks like a lion. He's a cross between Nick Nolte and Christopher Lloyd. He's got this shock of like crazy man white hair on top of his head and he's wearing a giant white terry cloth bathrobe. Standing right next to him is this tiny little Latina pixie. She's only about this tall and about this big around and she's got gorgeous flowing brunette hair. And she is wearing the most exquisite black, black lingerie I have ever seen in my life. I mean, she's got the garter belts, the stockings, the shoes. She looks like a fetish model. So I start to take a breath to say something Friendly, but like this coordinated sex SWAT team. Each one of them grabs one of my arms and without saying a word, they pull me into the apartment and down the hallway and towards the bedroom. Now, I'm about to get to the naughty bits, but let me just catch you up on what I'm doing here. The man, his name is Jake, and he's a major California politician. Now, I'm not talking, like movie star major, but if you had been reading the Chronicle in the early 1990s, you would certainly know his name. And the woman, his girlfriend is Emma, and she's a big time lobbyist and lawyer in her own right. And it's Jake's birthday tonight. And the kicker is, I am Jake's birthday present from Emma. It's my job. Hello? It's my job to have sex with these two people for money, which I have never done before. At least not the money part. It's my first call, and I am 22 years old. So this is how I find myself being dragged down the hallway to this enormous master bedroom. And there's a king size bed over here. And the lights are dim, but they have dozens of votive candles all around the room. So the light is all soft and flickery. And there's a full size mirror that's right by the side of the bed, strategically placed. Emma has dragged me to the bed, and she's like this ninja sex assassin. She's, like, pulling off my clothes and she's getting me out of my teddy, and she's got like eight arms. I mean, I don't even know what she's doing. And Jake is standing over here. He's not touching us. He's standing a ways back, and he's enjoying the show. And he lets his back bathrobe drop, and he is completely stark naked underneath. So Jake is a white guy, all right, but he is sporting the deepest, darkest tan I have ever seen in my entire life. I mean, his skin is like the color of chocolate milk. But right here in his mankini region, it's like baby white. It's like pale white. Like his ass and his junk. It's like it couldn't be paler. And then he's like, patted it with baby powder. So it just makes it even starker, this contrast. And his dick isn't very big and it isn't very hard. But my madam had warned me that he was having some difficulties getting and maintaining an erection. But she told me, mm, you don't have to worry about a thing. Don't pay any attention to what's going on with his plumbing. Because, you know, the one thing that Jake likes to do is to fuck. So I'm not too worried about him. At least not right now. He's standing there and he's jerking himself off and he's watching the show and he's like, yeah, uh huh, huh, huh, huh. He likes it, okay? And Emma and I are caressing each other and we're, like, kissing and everything. And then, you know, the. The logic of these things. You know, the way that it works. You know, we all just kind of find ourselves on the bed and we're rolling around and we're, like, kissing each other and we're grinding on one another. And somebody gets the bright idea. I'm guessing it's probably Jake, that I should go down on Emma now. Oh, Emma is just so beautiful. Her skin is honey brown and her. Her pussy is just perfectly trimmed. I mean, it just puts my hippie bush to shame. I mean, I just showed up like God made me. I mean, I didn't know. And so, so, so I'm down there and I'm kissing her and I'm getting ready to worship like you do. And this is when I realized that Emma is dry and cold as Christmas down there. She is not into this at all. And even though she and Jake are up here and they're kissing and talking dirty to each other, anything that I am trying down here, I'm getting no response from above, which is unnerving. So this goes on for a few minutes, and then somebody gets the bright idea. And I'm thinking probably it was Emma, that maybe Jake should go down on me now. Okay, Couple things you need to know. So I actually coined a phrase for clients like Jake. I named them potato chip clients because just imagine Jim Belushi or John Belushi. Sorry, John Belushi, right about the time of Animal House, just, like, sticking his hand into a bag of Frito Lays and just, like, shoving it into its first. Okay, this is Jake's cunnilingus modality. Oh, there's more. Because it just so happens that I possess the most sensitive clitoris on earth. And when I say that, I am not talking about, like, you just stick a little bit. And then, like, I have all these orgasms. Like, what I'm saying is I do not want you anywhere near my fucking clit, okay? Like, I don't even want to touch it. Like, the list of, like, certified service technicians is, like, this long. Like, so, so. But I learn in this precise moment that the noises that I'M making, which in my mind are. Oh my God. No, don't. Oh. Oh my God. Stay away from that. I can just like run them through this sexy filter and it sounds like. Oh my God. Okay, all right. Okay, all right. Oh. Oh God. And because I haven't bothered to shave down there, I can just like, you know, wiggle around and get him into like the crease of my groin and it's so furry, he can't tell the difference.
- [30:34]
Alice Paige (Storyteller)
So.
- [30:34]
Audience Member/Listener
All right. So I feel like things are going pretty okay and Emma and I are making out and stuff. But this minute comes where she gets up and she walks out of the room. And then I. Over my own noises, I hear that she has opened the front door and. And closed it behind her. And she's left. So a couple of things go through my mind right now. The first is, how did I manage to fuck this call up in only 10 minutes? The second thing that goes through my mind is this is actually dangerous, what I'm doing. I mean, I don't know why I thought that with another woman there I'd be safe, but. But now I'm here all alone with him, so I don't really know what to do. So I just tap Jake on the top of his head and I give him the noose. But he doesn't appear even the least bit phased. He just pulls himself up next to me and he grips me really tight and he looks me straight in the eye and we kiss like this. And he's jerking himself up. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. What are you doing? Just like that. And I take my hand and I cup his balls just as gently as I can until he comes. So now we're both lying there and he's staring off into space with a thousand yard stare. And all I'm thinking about is how can I get out of there gracefully. But there's just some part of me that has to know the answer to the question, what happened? So I say to him, so what happened with Emma back there? I don't know. I guess she got bored. Then he looks straight at me and he says, you should go too. Oh, fuck. Okay. So I scamper up, okay, And I grab all my gear and I run to the bathroom and I clean myself up as fast as I can and I'm back in my street clothes and I walk out the door and he's standing there in his robe and he hands me the money. But as he opens the front door to let me out, he says, you did a good job tonight, kid. I'm going to call you again soon. I don't have a response to that. So I just wave and say thanks and say bye. Oh, I stepped out into the foggy San Francisco night and I'm holding two crisp $100 bills in my hand. My whole body is trembling. I check the time. It's 8:17. I haven't even been there for 20 minutes. Oh, and I'm mortified because I have fucked up this call. I mean, I never even got into my strappy shoes. I'm such an asshole. Like I fucked up every part my of of this. And I know that Jake and Emma are never going to want to see me again. Turns out I was half right about that. Jake and Emma did break up that night and I never saw Emma again. But Jake went on to become my very best client. I must have seen him at least 100 times over the next 15 years. I also felt bad because I felt like I should feel bad, right? I mean, I had crossed a line tonight. I had crossed a line you can never uncross. I was a prostitute now and I should feel ashamed, right? Story's not over, kids. Instead, I felt like Dorothy stepping out of the ruins of her Kansas farmhouse into a technicolor dream world filled with wizards and witches and ruby red slippers and flying monkeys. I had crossed through fire into the world of prostitution. And I could not wait to find out what it was going to teach me. Thank you.
- [35:15]
Dixie (Podcast Host)
That story was from Lola Divina, told on stage in San Francisco. It was her first time performing for us. She has a forthcoming book called Thriving and Sex Work, which is about surviving and thriving in the industry. You can look for it soon and in the show notes you'll find information on how to find Lola and why.
- [35:35]
Audience Member/Listener
Watch for that book.
- [35:37]
Dixie (Podcast Host)
So this episode has been about sex work. I believe it's your choice. It's your body. You can do what the fuck you want with it. I think these stories are incredibly brave and I'm so grateful these people got on our stage and shared them with you. So as I told you last week, we are now full on into our 10 year anniversary month. And to celebrate 10 years, I've decided to do fuckton of shows because I'm a masochist sometimes. This month in particular, tomorrow night I am doing a show at Doc's Lab in North beach in San Francisco. That show is Allmusic. So over the years we've had tons of songs written for us. They're all about sex or kink or gender. And we Put together an entire evening of songs. That's going to be on February 9. Then on February 19, which is the night before President's Day, so you can stay out late. You ain't got to worry about it. We're gonna do Body Slam where you can put your name in a hat, tell story. It's gonna be followed by Body Got Me Laid, where you get to hear the backstage stories of how people got lucky and found love and got dominated and found sex workers. And all of the things that you're gonna find in the audience sitting right next to you. All the trouble you'd ever want is sitting next to you at a bawdy storytelling. I'll probably get me sued. That's going to be followed by our big 10 year anniversary shows. We're doing two of them back to back. The first one is decadent. It's going to star Melaina Williams flying in all the way from New York. We're working on special guests now. And after that we have the Best of Body. If you have not voted for Best of Body, please go to our page on Facebook and vote for your favorite storyteller. It can be anybody you've heard here on the podcast and that person is going to be on stage. It is a real honor to be chosen for Best of Body. So vote for your favorites. Shoot and do that voting by this Friday night, February 10th, by midnight Pacific Standard Time. Because that's the time I live in. So did I just tell you I did a fuck ton of shows for the month of February and when I collapsed into a pile at the end of the month of February, do you all know what's next? I'm gonna bring body to you. You gotta tell me where you are. It's really important that I know where I'm gonna go because if I get in a car and I don't know where I'm headed, it could be a fiasco. But hey, I want to know how you cream your Twinkie Toronto. I want to know how you grease your loaf pan. Louisville. And I want to know how you guys yiff Ypsilanti. That did not sound as good as when I wrote it. So I want to bring Body to other cities. I want to hear how people do things. I know I live in a magic bubble called San Francisco and I love bringing the show to new cities. So yeah, write me DixieAudistorytelling.com I've had a bunch of you writing me to tell me that you want me to come to your city. Fort Lauderdale's interested because apparently there's a lot of wild people in Fort Lauderdale, just like you'd expect. But you haven't contacted me. So send me an email and let's put your friends and fuck buddies on stage and enjoy a night of stories together. I want to say my thank yous, as I always do, to my podcast producer Matthew Marder, to our sound engineer David Grossoff, to Joe Moore who runs video to Reuben Tan who does our On Demand. You can get on Demand of the show bawdistreaming.com to Crystal Crow, who's my assistant and sidekick who travels with me, and to the entire team because it's so much more fun when you do it with a team. That's it till next week. Thanks so much for listening. Be sure to subscribe and give us five stars and all of those things. Tell your friends. Share this you're not going to find these stories anywhere else. We'll be back next week with more. Thanks for listening to Body Storytelling and I'll talk to you soon.
- [39:57]
Performer/Singer
Oh I'm just a gigolo and everybody know the people know the part I play who paid for every dance Selling each roman every night Some heart betraying now there will come a day Years will pass away Then what will it say about me baby when the end comes I know this is just another jig I know as life goes on without me.
- [41:18]
Interjecting Storyteller
Get down on your knees and beg for it I said lick my boot.