Podcast Summary: Bawdy Storytelling

Episode 25 – "Talk Nerdy To Me"

Host: Dixie De La Tour
Date: April 30, 2017

Overview

This celebratory 25th episode unites the worlds of sexuality and geekdom in classic Bawdy Storytelling style. Host Dixie De La Tour introduces a trio of hilarious, raw, and sex-positive stories from nerds who proudly embrace their kinks, ingenuity, and awkwardness. Themes include letting your "geek flag" fly at sex parties, the erotic power of computer programming, and how nerdy tattoos can lead to legendary threesomes. The show is peppered with bawdy musical interludes and audience participation, creating a lively, uninhibited atmosphere for true tales of nerd seduction.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Erotic Arts of Computer Programming

Storyteller: Janelle Tavares
Start: 02:52

• Janelle’s story centers on her seduction by a fellow student, Mike, after a riveting computer science lecture featuring masterful use of the 'vi' editor—a moment which gives her a "nerd boner" (04:06).
• She details the excitement of a dual-boot Ubuntu install in her dorm room, mixing the practical steps of Linux system setup with palpable flirtation and sexual anticipation.
• The exchange of technical jargon serves as foreplay, culminating in witty, geeky banter that ramps up their mutual attraction:

  “So Sudo demands obedience.” – Janelle Tavares [09:24]

• The technical setup turns physical, with Janelle giving a play-by-play of their encounter using programming metaphors and cues:

  “For password, I’m going to use Hertz. H-E-R-T-Z as in the units of frequency.” [10:52] “Sudo, lick me.” [13:01] “Wow. One open curly brace right there. Semicolon. Don’t stop. Semicolon.” [13:52]

• The story concludes with tender post-coital geekery and Janelle's enduring affection for Ubuntu Linux.

Notable Moments

• Janelle's clever sexual wordplay (e.g., "you mounted my network shares; I mount you" [14:35])
• The vivid interplay between technical and sensual language

2. The Ultimate Nerd Sex Party

Storyteller: Spider
Start: 18:26

• Spider begins in medias res at a science fiction-themed sex party, describing costumed guests (William T. Riker, Seven of Nine, Borgs, etc.) and “missions” that gamify sexual encounters through badges and playful tasks.
• Flashbacks reveal how subtle signals—like bondage tape used to organize "Settlers of Catan" cards—lead to a flirtatious exchange and eventual hookup with his friend Lana.
• The party’s geekiness is on full display: decorations include planets ("Hoth", "Gallifrey"), themed drinks, and "Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters" (themed cocktails).
• Real-world fan service includes elaborate role-play, costumed bondage, and the use of custom geeky sex toys, such as:

  “I could construct, assemble and solder together a working light up LED blue 10 inch lightsaber dildo. Would you like to see it?” – Spider [27:11]

• Spider describes group scenes featuring characters from “Firefly,” “Battlestar Galactica,” and “Star Trek,” highlight being the double-teaming of a “Seven of Nine” cosplayer with a vibrating phaser and his lightsaber dildo.
• The party’s inclusive and accepting environment is a key theme, as is the joy of finding others who share both one's fantasies and fandoms.

  “We have gamified the sex party. These are my people.” – Spider [23:44]

Notable Moments

• The moment a party guest locks eyes with Spider and declares, “I want that inside of me right now,” referring to the lightsaber dildo [29:35].
• “And yes, resistance was futile.” – Spider [26:45], referencing both the Borg and party dynamics.

3. Nerd Tattoos and the Battle of the Blackwater

Storyteller: Caitlin Gill
Start: 31:41

• Stand-up comic Caitlin Gill riffs on how tattoos have become a secret language among nerds, sharing stories behind her own ink: a Calvin & Hobbes tramp stamp, Roald Dahl on her ankle, and her cat posed as Eleanor Roosevelt on her arm.

  “You can come on your childhood memories. That’s what it means. You’re welcome.” – Caitlin Gill [34:27]

• She recounts how her nerdy tattoos and rapport with an artistic couple led to a threesome. The escalating sexual tension is explored with her signature self-deprecating humor.
  • "You ever just fight with someone, and just in the middle of it it's like, oh, this is ‘cause we're not fucking. Oh, I get it." [36:53]
• Caitlin is surprised to learn that the woman in the couple has a crush on her:

  “I know that I am beautiful. I have seen the scientific evidence of my own beauty. I have seen them. I have seen the boners. Those are mine. I made those.” [38:51]

• The group’s night of sex is playfully measured against episodes of "Game of Thrones," with the neighbor calling the cops due to their enthusiastic noises.
  • “How do I know we fucked for hours? ‘Cause Game of Thrones season one had just come out…” [43:32]
• After pausing to watch the pivotal "Battle of the Blackwater" episode, Caitlin proclaims:

  “Any threesome I have the privilege to be a part of will hereby be known as a Battle of My Black Water.” – Caitlin Gill [45:59]

Notable Moments

• The police arriving due to loud sex noises, confirming the reputation of nerds who play hard as well as work hard [45:06].
• Caitlin’s candid, relatable reflections on beauty, bisexuality, and sexual confidence.

Memorable Quotes

• “My nerd boner is huge and my nipples are erect.” – Janelle Tavares [04:26]
• “We have gamified the sex party. These are my people.” – Spider [23:44]
• “How many are you inked up? Give me a round. Put your Hands. Right, Right. And if you’re a nerd, your tattoo comes from a nerdy place. That’s what you’re expressing.” – Caitlin Gill [32:03]
• “No, ya’ll. What the fuck is up with the vagina? Oh, my God. It has no end. It has no beginning. Who made this? MC Escher?” – Caitlin Gill [41:44]
• “A Jedi’s duty is to serve.” – Spider [29:50]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:52] – Janelle Tavares’ programming seduction story begins
• [10:52] – “For password I’m going to use Hertz…”
• [13:01] – “Sudo, lick me.”
• [18:26] – Spider’s Star Trek sex party narrative opens
• [23:44] – Sex party “missions” and gamification described
• [27:11] – “Lightsaber dildo” moment
• [29:35] – “I want that inside of me right now.”
• [31:41] – Caitlin Gill’s set begins
• [34:27] – “You can come on your childhood memories.”
• [38:51] – “I’ve seen the scientific evidence of my own beauty…”
• [43:32] – Sex marathon measured by “Game of Thrones” episodes
• [45:59] – “Battle of My Black Water” coined

Tone and Style

• Unapologetically explicit, nerdy, and joyous; stories are told with warmth, humor, and affectionate detail.
• Each storyteller brings their own blend of intellectual kink, geek culture references, and sexual honesty to the stage.
• The episode is celebratory, inclusive, and empowering, emphasizing the unique ways nerds connect, play, and experience pleasure.

Conclusion

“Talk Nerdy To Me” is a love letter to nerds and the joys of embracing both sexual and geeky identities. It showcases how technical skills, inside jokes, and fandom can be potent aphrodisiacs, offering both belly laughs and reminders that everyone deserves a place to fly their freak (and nerd) flag.