Transcript
A (0:02)
The following podcast contains true stories of sex, kink, gender, or body image. Thanks for being a consenting adult. Cause here we go.
B (0:12)
All of my life I've never fit But I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous.
C (0:22)
Get used to it.
B (0:27)
Everyone tells me I'm too much maybe it's too much, Just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm supposed to be? Hey, my vagina is eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just run and hide. My vagina is eight miles.
C (0:57)
What?
A (1:05)
Hi there and welcome to the Bawdi storytelling podcast. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie delator, and this week we have a story from emotional fermentation process starter and cuddle party facilitator, Scoby Goo. This is the part of the podcast called the Dixie Ramble where I tell you what's going on in my life. I tell you some of the correspondence, the emails, the questions I get. I tell you about what's been happening over the last week. And I. I got a message from someone who wanted to hire me. They were going to officiate a wedding and they wanted some coaching. I love projects like that. So we got on a zoom call and I asked lots of questions. Tell me about the bride and the groom. Tell me, is there anything special I should know about this wedding? No, not at all. For like, 20 minutes, I kept asking questions, kept reiterating. Storytelling is details. So give me details. Most of what I was getting was very vague at a certain point, I guess I asked the right question because they went, oh, have I sent you the link to the wedding website? No, I go to the website and go, are you kidding me? So you're officiating a polyamorous English to Spanish space pirate wedding? Yeah, that would be great information. We are doing much better now. Now that I know that. And it's really turning into something I feel is going to be great. And I love that they thought of me for that because that's. Yeah, that is. That is what that is. I had said last week, I'd like to know how you'd like to be referred to. I'm not sure I feel great about hey, fam. Feels like everybody does that or hey, wing nuts. That I'm not sure. So I asked you, how do you feel about being called perverts? I got a lot of responses that were like, I'm fine with being called a pervert. One person, Amy, sent me an email and said, perverts makes me feel. I'm not really sure, but how about calling me Sexy Motherfucker? I'd love to know how you feel about that. My first thought was, people may not like it when you indicate that they have relations with their relationship. Maybe Sexy mother fluffers. How about that? I used to call my dog that sometime. And finally, that memorial I had from my friend Rachel, I was dreading it so much, I puked all day. The day of the ceremony, and then I drove across the bridge and I walked in and I was ready to run the show. It turned out so good, so much better than I had ever expected. We had her sainted by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, which. Which in the San Francisco Bay area is the ultimate compliment. The sister walked in and everybody oohed and awed like, this party just went up like a hundred notches. I got through the evening. There was an after party. I said, I'm exhausted. I'm going to go home. And a few hours after I got home, I got a text. And the text made it all worth was a picture of Rachel's grown kids. One's in his 20s, one's in his 30s, and the one in his 30s has a wife. And so the three of them were sitting there looking at whatever is happening on stage, whatever story is being told about their mom, their mother in law, and the look on their face. You would never know that this was a funeral that was happening six weeks after their mother died, completely unexpectedly. That picture changed everything. And I'm so glad that I spent six weeks working on this thing. I didn't want to the whole time, but it's so important that we commemorate people's lives. Even if it feels like you're dealing with a lot of grief on your own, even if it feels like your life is way too full, you're too busy stopping because this is the only chance you'll ever get. You have to dedicate time to the people who changed your lives. I just want to remind you that it's so important. I'm so glad that it happened, and I never thought I'd ever say that, so lesson learned. I wanted to pass that along to you too. I feel like my life's a little better having learned that lesson. Did you know I have my own custom perfume? Let me tell you a story. My friends at Sucrobae, which is an amazing perfume company, they make the best products. The founder came up to me with a little gift and said, here, Dix, this is for you. I opened the velvet bag and inside was my little cartoon face and the words bodygotmelaid. I was like, wow, what does it smell like? They're like, whatever you want because it's your custom perfume. So I got to work creating a perfume that had a story and I just came across reviews for it and I wanted to read you a couple. One of them says, I got this as a free sample with my first purchase. I liked it and so did my mother who lives with me. She tried it on and I can say with great confidence, body did not get me laid, but it did get my mother some action of the laying variety. Worth every penny. 11 out of 10 will buy again once therapy has paid off. There's also reviews on here. They're all five stars that say things like, my 10 year old son loves it. And it takes me back to a night out at university in the late 90s, hoping to meet someone to at least dance my ass off with while drinking $1 beers at the dodgiest of the local nightclubs. You know, the one with the walls that would sweat on a Saturday night. Strange reviews for a perfume, right? But I feel like, you know, I like it weird. And that works great for me. Every review on here is extremely positive. I just came across them and was excited, so I wanted to share this with you. Body Got Me Laid is a perfume. It's a hair and body oil. It's a body butter. It's all of those things. And it smells like honey, a ylang ylang warm vanilla. It smells good. It's made up of bottom notes. So it's kind of like when you lean in and smell somebody and go, wow, you smell good. Subtle, but it lasts for a long time. If you want to see it, go to bodystorytelling.com merchandise. You can order it there. It'll take you right to Sukhar Bay. Order some and you too can have the best motorboats out there. Well, you've heard the stories for years. Are they true? This week we have a story from someone who can confirm that, yes, indeed, bawdy gets you laid. So let me introduce you to the storyteller. Scobie Goo dove into the worlds of kink and polyamory after attending a bawdy storytelling way back in 2014. Following the show from San Francisco to LA to Seattle and then Chicago, and later got on stage to share the stories created, she now hosts communication and consent workshops, also known as cuddle parties, as a certified facilitator. While she can make kombucha like her namesake, the symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast, she is more of an emotional fermentation process starter who also offers intimacy coaching. There's a link in the show notes for that. This storyteller is Scoby Goo.