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Bawdy Storytelling
Episode 290: ‘Magic Trick’ (Scoby Goo)
00:22:29
Is that a Magic Wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Cuddle Party Facilitator and Intimacy Coach Scoby Goo feels like an outsider until she stumbles upon our little storytelling show, and its inclusive atmosphere changes everything...
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Transcript11 lines
- [00:02]
A
The following podcast contains true stories of sex, kink, gender, or body image. Thanks for being a consenting adult. Cause here we go.
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B
All of my life I've never fit But I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous.
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C
Get used to it.
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B
Everyone tells me I'm too much maybe it's too much, Just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm supposed to be? Hey, my vagina is eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just run and hide. My vagina is eight miles.
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C
What?
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A
Hi there and welcome to the Bawdi storytelling podcast. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie delator, and this week we have a story from emotional fermentation process starter and cuddle party facilitator, Scoby Goo. This is the part of the podcast called the Dixie Ramble where I tell you what's going on in my life. I tell you some of the correspondence, the emails, the questions I get. I tell you about what's been happening over the last week. And I. I got a message from someone who wanted to hire me. They were going to officiate a wedding and they wanted some coaching. I love projects like that. So we got on a zoom call and I asked lots of questions. Tell me about the bride and the groom. Tell me, is there anything special I should know about this wedding? No, not at all. For like, 20 minutes, I kept asking questions, kept reiterating. Storytelling is details. So give me details. Most of what I was getting was very vague at a certain point, I guess I asked the right question because they went, oh, have I sent you the link to the wedding website? No, I go to the website and go, are you kidding me? So you're officiating a polyamorous English to Spanish space pirate wedding? Yeah, that would be great information. We are doing much better now. Now that I know that. And it's really turning into something I feel is going to be great. And I love that they thought of me for that because that's. Yeah, that is. That is what that is. I had said last week, I'd like to know how you'd like to be referred to. I'm not sure I feel great about hey, fam. Feels like everybody does that or hey, wing nuts. That I'm not sure. So I asked you, how do you feel about being called perverts? I got a lot of responses that were like, I'm fine with being called a pervert. One person, Amy, sent me an email and said, perverts makes me feel. I'm not really sure, but how about calling me Sexy Motherfucker? I'd love to know how you feel about that. My first thought was, people may not like it when you indicate that they have relations with their relationship. Maybe Sexy mother fluffers. How about that? I used to call my dog that sometime. And finally, that memorial I had from my friend Rachel, I was dreading it so much, I puked all day. The day of the ceremony, and then I drove across the bridge and I walked in and I was ready to run the show. It turned out so good, so much better than I had ever expected. We had her sainted by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, which. Which in the San Francisco Bay area is the ultimate compliment. The sister walked in and everybody oohed and awed like, this party just went up like a hundred notches. I got through the evening. There was an after party. I said, I'm exhausted. I'm going to go home. And a few hours after I got home, I got a text. And the text made it all worth was a picture of Rachel's grown kids. One's in his 20s, one's in his 30s, and the one in his 30s has a wife. And so the three of them were sitting there looking at whatever is happening on stage, whatever story is being told about their mom, their mother in law, and the look on their face. You would never know that this was a funeral that was happening six weeks after their mother died, completely unexpectedly. That picture changed everything. And I'm so glad that I spent six weeks working on this thing. I didn't want to the whole time, but it's so important that we commemorate people's lives. Even if it feels like you're dealing with a lot of grief on your own, even if it feels like your life is way too full, you're too busy stopping because this is the only chance you'll ever get. You have to dedicate time to the people who changed your lives. I just want to remind you that it's so important. I'm so glad that it happened, and I never thought I'd ever say that, so lesson learned. I wanted to pass that along to you too. I feel like my life's a little better having learned that lesson. Did you know I have my own custom perfume? Let me tell you a story. My friends at Sucrobae, which is an amazing perfume company, they make the best products. The founder came up to me with a little gift and said, here, Dix, this is for you. I opened the velvet bag and inside was my little cartoon face and the words bodygotmelaid. I was like, wow, what does it smell like? They're like, whatever you want because it's your custom perfume. So I got to work creating a perfume that had a story and I just came across reviews for it and I wanted to read you a couple. One of them says, I got this as a free sample with my first purchase. I liked it and so did my mother who lives with me. She tried it on and I can say with great confidence, body did not get me laid, but it did get my mother some action of the laying variety. Worth every penny. 11 out of 10 will buy again once therapy has paid off. There's also reviews on here. They're all five stars that say things like, my 10 year old son loves it. And it takes me back to a night out at university in the late 90s, hoping to meet someone to at least dance my ass off with while drinking $1 beers at the dodgiest of the local nightclubs. You know, the one with the walls that would sweat on a Saturday night. Strange reviews for a perfume, right? But I feel like, you know, I like it weird. And that works great for me. Every review on here is extremely positive. I just came across them and was excited, so I wanted to share this with you. Body Got Me Laid is a perfume. It's a hair and body oil. It's a body butter. It's all of those things. And it smells like honey, a ylang ylang warm vanilla. It smells good. It's made up of bottom notes. So it's kind of like when you lean in and smell somebody and go, wow, you smell good. Subtle, but it lasts for a long time. If you want to see it, go to bodystorytelling.com merchandise. You can order it there. It'll take you right to Sukhar Bay. Order some and you too can have the best motorboats out there. Well, you've heard the stories for years. Are they true? This week we have a story from someone who can confirm that, yes, indeed, bawdy gets you laid. So let me introduce you to the storyteller. Scobie Goo dove into the worlds of kink and polyamory after attending a bawdy storytelling way back in 2014. Following the show from San Francisco to LA to Seattle and then Chicago, and later got on stage to share the stories created, she now hosts communication and consent workshops, also known as cuddle parties, as a certified facilitator. While she can make kombucha like her namesake, the symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast, she is more of an emotional fermentation process starter who also offers intimacy coaching. There's a link in the show notes for that. This storyteller is Scoby Goo.
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C
Yeah, Give it up for like the hardest working woman in show business. Seriously, this is ridiculous. So I'm straddling this shirtless guy, enjoying his. The feel of the buzz cut on his hair and his nipple piercings. And we're straddling. I'm straddling him on this ottoman and there's a couch behind me. And if I lean back, I can kind of put my thighs, my hands on two different thighs of the women behind me. And I'm thinking, I'm supposed to be asleep at my sister's right now. But no, I'm here. As she said, I'm a super fan. Bodi literally changed my life. I was kind of always on like the fringe of the kink poly scene. But the first time I came to a show here, it was like the doors widening open and I was like a whole new world. I was like, this is great. I follow her down to LA while I was in grad school and I put my name in the hat and I won a thousand dollars worth of sex toys. And so the Seattle show is happening and I have a sister up in Seattle. And the timing is perfect because it's the week before I'm done with my grad program. I'm starting a new job in Stockton and I'm just like, I gotta give me some of this before I have to move to Cowtown. So the body story happening in Seattle, it's this gay bar in downtown Seattle. It's like bar cabaret. I get there early enough to get right on the aisle and so I can just see straight line of sight up to the stage. And one of the storytellers is this super cute guy. He kind of looks like Jesse from Breaking Bad, but, you know, kind of skinnier. So like, shaved head, bright blue eyes. His name's Aaron. He's telling a story about a five guy orgy that happened at a magician conference in Las Vegas that included Siegfried and Roy's assistant. And this experience made him realize he might be bisexual. He's talking about coming out to his parents and declaring, I like human beings. All of them, all shapes, sizes. And I'm like, right on, dude. I find him after the show and give him this huge hug. I'm like, I like human beings as well and sort of like robots trying to pass off as human by flirting with each other this way. Yes, the squishy bits. And we're talking, and this other girl who kind of looks like Ms. Frizzle from the Magic school bus, but like, the hip, but like the hipster version, she's kind of hanging around. And I get the sense that, like, they're a couple of some sort. But with the way that he's flirting with me and the way she's flirting with me, I get the sense it's not exactly exclusive. And sure enough, he invites me to come see a parlor tricks magic show that he's performing the next night at this little black box theater in North Seattle, 10pm and I'm like, ooh, this is kind of gonna be my last big cry. Cause I gotta start being a morning person. I'm starting a 9 to 5 job in, like, three days. But you're so cute. Okay. He's like, I may be a little biased as the star of the show, but it's gonna be awesome. And his girlfriend Angie, saves me a seat in the front row. Get there and kind of hold him back, like, you know, when he's asking for, like, audience volunteers during some of his tricks. But his last one, he's like, this is a very special trick, and it's going to need a very special volunteer. Perhaps someone sitting in the front row looks directly at me. Okay. I assist in this, like, table levitation trick. And he gives me the rose that was in the vase. And I'm like, that is good flirt. Really good flirt. But after the show, there's like 50 people that know him, and I know, too. And I'm, you know, hanging around as I can and talking with Angie Moore. And Angie's talking with these three gorgeous women who, like, were, like, freaking Charlie's Angels, but, like, the new one with Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu. Because there's the blonde, the brunette, and the redhead. And, you know, they're nice and stupid, but, like, I'm kind of like, well, I wanted something to happen with the magician, but maybe that's not gonna happen. So I guess I'll go to my car and look at my phone and God damn it, this can't be how the story ends. No, come on. And so muster up that courage. And I just text him, you know, this is my last night in Seattle. I really wanted to spend more time with you. Do you want to go get a drink? And he writes me back of like, well, we seem to be having a bit of an after party, so why don't you come over to this address? Okay. And I show up, and it's. It's Aaron and Angie and Charlie's Angels, and the girls are all kind of strewn out on this little couch futon. And I'm like, hi. Can I hang out with you guys? They're like, yeah, I'm sorry. Come join us. And I sit down between Lucy Liu and Angie. And Lucy, she's like, oh, your hands are so cold. Here, let me warm them. And places them between her thighs. And Drew Barrymo's kind of in a bathrobe because it's her place. And Cameron's got, you know, doing that thing of, like, just the little edge of the. And just, like, the top of the boob. And I'm like, so how do you guys know each other? And they're like, in a little polycule. You know, she's dating his boyfriend, and they've had threesomes with this girl's girlfriend. I'm like, okay. And Aaron's meanwhile, like, across the room, kind of smirking. Lucy's kind of like, you're wearing far too much clothing.
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A
Yeah.
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C
I come over here, and she takes off his shirt, and he sits down on the ottoman across from us, and I kind of go, can I have dibs on making out with him first? Like, go for it. All right. And I climb on top of it, and I'm straddling him and kind of grinding on him, and then kind of like, lean back and run my hands up the thighs behind me. And so I'm like, grinding on this cock and fingering two pussies at the same time. And I'm like, I am the least attractive person here. I have psoriasis on my crotch and armpit hair. What is going on? But they seem to still be having sex with me. Like, Lucy offers me a hair tie to get my hair out of my face so that I can suck her tits better while Drew's fingering her. And the coconut oil breaks out, and everyone's just kind of rubbing and touching each other. Angie's doing her own little magic trick on the magician of making his cactus appear with her mouth. And this is an impressive feat, you guys, because later, you know, Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz both have their hands on it, and there's room for both hands. There's a lot going on here. The Hitachi magic wand, at some point is out, like, the plug in kind. And Cameron's just, like, going down the line of, like, who's next? Who wants a squirting orgasm? I do. I do. I may have gotten fisted, but, like, I was so blacked out with just orgasmic pleasure at that point that I don't even know how many fingers win me. The magician is the last one to orgasm, and he's got two people on his cock. One person giving him a back rub. He's making out with another girl and stroking my tit. And Drew Barrymore is over there taking pictures of it. And we collapse in a pile. It's three in the morning. It's like, well, I should probably figure out whose underwear is. Who's in this pile of clothing on the floor and sort of sort things out. And Angie and Erin walk me to my car, and I'm like, did I just crash an orgy? Like, I don't know if I was supposed to be there. And Aaron says, she didn't crash anything. I mean, your feelings are valid, but you really weren't imposing. What a nice guy to be the center of attention and an orgy that, you know. So I still work through that fear of being a bother and being imposing. But sometimes, if you can just go for it and just fight through that fear and at least ask, you know, sometimes the answer is no, but sometimes the answer is hell, yeah.
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D
A smile so wide he'll captivate you with his magic inside dancing fingers A touch so light he'll make your heart race Keep you up all night with every trick he'll make you believe In a world of wonder where dreams are achieved he'll whisper secrets in your ear as he pulls across the.
- [19:32]
A
Sa. This podcast was on break from the first week of January until mid March. Something like that. And so many of you told me that you miss it. I want to ask you to ensure that this podcast continues. I have watched so many of my favorite podcasts go away, and I don't want to go away. This is my way to connect with you until I figure out what's next. I did live shows in the Bay Area. Those didn't seem to be panning out financially. I went on an east coast tour. Did not really pay off. And here we are. What's next? The podcast was originally intended to make sure you knew about live shows. And I'm trying to decide if this is something you actually want. So there's many ways to do it. You can go to Cash App, you can go to Venmo, you can go to PayPal, Zelle, all of those things. Or you can provide ongoing support through Patreon. That's the best way. That is a way to get Ad free episodes. And also help me know that you want this because I'm going to throw my efforts at what you want from me and this is a great way to ensure that the podcast keeps going and you let me know that that's what you want. Thanks for considering it. There's a link in the show notes for all of those ways to support the podcast. Well, we're at the end. Before you go, could I ask you to write a review for this podcast? It feels like we're in a make or break kind of place and I'd love to know if you're listening. And a review tells me and other people that this podcast is worth their time. Thanks in advance for doing that. And I also want to say thank you to the people who make this podcast possible. Thank you to Domhnall Mooney, David Grossoff, Mohsa Maxwell Smith, and podcast producer Roman Den Heldeker. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour. This has been episode 290 of the Body Storytelling Podcast. Thanks for listening.