Bawdy Storytelling – Episode 294: "First Nude, Last Nude" (Dirty Lola) – Detailed Summary

Episode Overview

In Episode 294 of Bawdy Storytelling, host Dixie De La Tour welcomes renowned sex educator and performer Dirty Lola to share a transformative, funny, and deeply vulnerable story about body image, kink, and self-acceptance. Set against the early days of "good Twitter," Lola recounts how her virtual relationship with her first Dom helped her confront longstanding insecurities and see herself through new, loving eyes. This episode is a reflection on how sex-positive communities and kink can catalyze profound personal growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dirty Lola: Setting the Scene & The Struggles of Self-Image

• Lola (09:52): Introduces herself as 42, sharing a story from her 28-year-old self as a bored, lonely, monogamous housewife in New York having "vanilla sex" and suffering from low self-esteem.
• Quote: "I'm a lonely, bored, 28-year-old monogamous housewife with low self esteem having vanilla sex in a full size bed. No, I was fucking miserable."
• Highlights the absurdity of her tiny full-size bed and desire for change, prompting her to join Twitter—"the wild days," where “Titty Tuesday was king.”
• Twitter becomes Lola's lifeline—a place to meet her people, including some attendees at the live show.

2. Finding Community & Her First Dom

• Lola (11:36): Narrates her journey into kink, non-monogamy, and finding her first Dom ("Sir") via Twitter DMs—a charismatic, older Texan businessman with a classic southern drawl.
• Describes the negotiation and boundary-setting required, as she was still married at the time (now cheerfully divorced).
• Quote: "He slid into my DMs one day, and he did not say, 'hey girl.' ... And he asked if I had a Dom... And I said no... So, he was like, 'do you want one?' And I was like, I guess."
• The arrangement becomes official after three weeks: Lola is now "Sir’s pretty little slut.”

3. The Daily Task & the Terror of Nudes

• Lola (14:10): Sir institutes a daily task—by 9am, Lola must send three photos: her outfit, her underwear for the day, and a nude.
• For a woman with lifelong body shame, the nude is "fucking terrifying."
• Shares traumatic memories of cruel body shaming—by bullies, media, even her mother who gifted her a "Get Fit Girl" workout for Christmas at age 6, and humiliated her over outgrowing a recital outfit at 10.
• Quote: "I could barely look at myself clothed in the mirror, let alone naked."
• The first nude is particularly difficult, reducing Lola to tears, self-doubt, and a breakdown as the deadline approaches.
• Lola (16:43): "I sit on the floor and I'm hyperventilating. I'm rocking. I'm like, he's gonna see it. He's gonna hate it... Oh, my God, the whole thing."

4. A New Perspective & Transformation

• Lola (17:13): Sir responds kindly, asking if she trusts him, and assures her he would never ask for something unwanted. "That's a shame, because I love what I see."
• A shift begins: "Sometimes it's okay to see ourselves through the eyes of people who adore and love us. Because our eyes are tainted with moms and magazines and bullies and fucking society."
• Over a year of D/s dynamic, Lola:
  • Learns self-discipline and the mechanics of online kink.
  • Gains confidence and comfort with her body via loving, attentive Dominance.
  • Discovers new physical pleasures and kinks ("anything on your desk can become a kink object").
  • Is forbidden from self-denigration: "I would get in trouble if I was mean to myself."
• Quote (19:37): "It's really hard to think bad things about yourself" when someone persistently expresses love, desire, and pride in your body.

5. First Nude, Last Nude—The Visual Evidence

• After a year, Sir sends back Lola’s first nude and her most recent (the "last nude") to show her growth.
• Comparison: The first—Lola is hunched, crying, and fearful. The last—upright, smiling, powerful, and proud.
• Lola (20:07): "It looks like two different fucking people. And it was."
• The episode’s lesson: Sometimes, loving mirrors change how we see ourselves.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Old-School Twitter:
  “Back then, Dirty Lola was just a handle. Didn’t mean anything. But Twitter was like my salvation… because it’s where I met my people. Some of my people are here tonight.” — Dirty Lola, [09:52]
• On Being Tasked with Nudes:
  “It sounds easy, but that nude was fucking terrifying. Because at that point I hadn’t been sending anybody nudes… because I did not like myself.” — Dirty Lola, [13:54]
• On the Power of a Caring Dom:
  “If you’re with somebody who constantly is making sure you’re not being awful to yourself… and is constantly showering you with love and affection and talking about your body in such a bright way that you’ve never experienced… it’s really hard to think bad things about yourself.” — Dirty Lola, [19:37]
• Lesson Learned:
  “Sometimes it’s okay to see ourselves through the eyes of people who adore and love us. Because our own eyes are tainted with moms and magazines and bullies and fucking society.” — Dirty Lola, [20:17]

Important Segment Timestamps

• [09:52] — Dirty Lola begins her story, setting the stage for her emotional journey.
• [11:36] — Meeting her first Dom and entering the D/s dynamic.
• [13:54] — Describing the task of daily nude photos and her initial terror.
• [16:43] — Lola recounts her breakdown before sending her first nude.
• [17:13] — Sir’s compassionate response and the start of transformation.
• [19:12] — The positive, affirming impact of her Dom over the year.
• [20:07] — Comparing her "first nude" to her "last nude" and realizing her transformation.

Storytelling, Community & Final Thoughts

• Dixie de La Tour weaves personal community-building guidance throughout, sharing how Bawdy Storytelling helps introverts connect and find their people ("the Bawdience").
• Encourages listeners to embrace vulnerability and storytelling as a way to break through social isolation and self-doubt.
• Quote: "If there’s anything that Bawdy can do, it can get you friends… I probably shouldn’t guarantee it’ll make you friends, but I really feel it’s gonna happen for you." — Dixie de La Tour, [07:18]

Song Break

• [20:29] — "Chunky" by Bruno Mars plays, celebrating bodies and further supporting the theme of body acceptance and joy.

Tone & Language

Open, humorous, and raw, Dirty Lola shares without shame or pretense—inviting listeners to both laugh and reflect. The episode is peppered with jokes, pop culture references, and deeply personal admissions, all in the celebratory, sex-positive style that characterizes Bawdy Storytelling.

Summary Takeaways

• Kinky, sex-positive communities—both online and offline—can be catalysts for friendship and self-actualization.
• Erotic dynamics, especially those rooted in care and affirmation, can heal wounds inflicted by societal and familial body shaming.
• Sometimes, personal transformation requires someone else’s loving perspective to reveal our own beauty and power.

For full details and community events, check Bawdy Storytelling’s show notes and consider attending a live show or telling your story.