Bawdy Storytelling, Episode 297: "Strap-On Olympics" (Tatyana Brown)

Date: July 25, 2024
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Storyteller: Tatyana Brown

Episode Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling centers on themes of sexual exploration, community, and the wild creativity that flourishes in inclusive and sex-positive spaces. Featured storyteller Tatyana Brown takes us inside a notorious Bay Area play party, narrating how a simple desire to witness strap-on play transformed into an unforgettable, collaborative group event: the gleefully chaotic Strap-On Olympics. The tale is a celebration of queer joy, communication, spectacle, and the radical possibilities that unfold when people are unashamedly open about their desires.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Sex-Positive Community

Timestamp: 07:01–10:40

• Tatyana sets the stage with vulnerability, sharing a rough start to the year: sudden work loss, simultaneous polyamorous breakups, and questioning her sex drive.

  “Like, I was just, like, destroyed. Like, what is sex? You know what I'm saying? ... Maybe I just, like, I'm gonna turn 30 and now I just don't want to have sex. That might be what it is. No.” (07:25, Tatyana)

• She decides to revitalize herself the local way: attending a Bay Area play party, emphasizing how these spaces foster both communication and fun.
  • These parties begin with “communication workshops” and exercises around consent, intimacy, and being present—a ritual she gently mocks but also wholeheartedly embraces.

  “I sound really sarcastic about it, but I fucking love that shit. For real. Like, all of us who are here, like, we do we both need to be like, no, no, no, that's stupid. And also, like, actually, my inner child needs to be held right now.” (08:45, Tatyana)

2. The Inciting Incident: “Strap-On Sex? I’d Watch That”

Timestamp: 10:41–13:50

• Tatyana bonds poolside with a lively “straight” woman over dessert and sex banter.
  • The woman admits, “she’s never hooked up with anybody who wasn’t a dude” and would only be “tempted by someone really smooth” at the party—something Tatyana laughingly disclaims is “definitely not” her.
• Inspiration strikes when they both witness a charismatic, platform-booted partygoer whom both admire. Tatyana tells a story about her receiving a mind-blowing clothed strap-on blowjob—a “life goal!”

  “True story: This one time I saw that woman get the most amazing blowjob wearing a strap on while fully clothed with her arms like behind her head from this like completely naked sub dude who was just going to town on her. And I was like, life goals, that's who I want to be.” (12:51, Tatyana)

• Prompted by the straight woman’s comment, “I could totally go for some of that—watching, you know,” Tatyana seizes the initiative to orchestrate the scene.
  • She emphasizes the “What if we…?” magic of these spaces, where voicing desires often sparks creative communal action.

3. Birthing the “Strap-On Olympics”

Timestamp: 13:51–16:40

• The pair approaches go-go boots woman, then the party's logistics fall into place—slowly morphing from a joke to an all-out event spurred on by a “deeply competitive genderqueer person” (nicknamed “Napoleon”: short, fiery, full of bravado).
• The phrase “Strap-On Olympics” is coined; excitement blossoms. The party organizer agrees to help:

  “Do you need the toys from my bag?”

  • The host’s supportive, can-do attitude underscores the open spirits of sex-positive parties.

4. The Olympics Begin: Improvised Competition & The Spirit of Play

Timestamp: 16:41–22:50

• Shouts of “Strap-On Olympics!” ring out, gathering a crowd of 70–80 people.
  • Tatyana—temporarily thrust into the role of impromptu emcee—quickly invents rules and events “camp counselor”-style:
    • Event 1: Blowjobs (on strap-ons), audience chooses winners
    • Event 2: "Floor Exercises"—teams compete to perform the most penetrative positions in four minutes
• Contestants include:
  • The go-go boots woman (“who I want to be when I grow up”)
  • Napoleon (ultra-competitive)
  • A complete newbie, preparing for their first-ever strap-on experience—publicly!

  “We are on the brink of something no one has ever done before. We are about to cause world peace through strap on sex. Because that's what the Olympics are fucking about, right, you guys?” (19:34, Tatyana)

• A sense of spontaneous, shared thrill spreads among participants and audience alike; the event turns both wild and heartwarming.

5. The Play-by-Play: Chaos, Cheer, and Consent

Timestamp: 22:51–24:50

• The “floor exercises” commence after a dramatic audience-led slow clap (for warmup/foreplay).
• Each team dives into energetic, inventive sexual feats:
  • Napoleon’s team manages 17 positions in four minutes, displaying both determination and acrobatics.
  • The newbie and their partner communicate tenderly, relishing the experience.
  • The go-go boots woman, ever nonchalant, enjoys herself in her own way.

  “Napoleon is in the middle of this, like, completely industrious machine... if you were to tell me that Napoleon had, like, charted out what was going to go next and what was the most efficient way to move their body, I would have believed you.” (24:01, Tatyana)

• The event ends in awe and applause, a collective sense of “this has never happened anywhere before.”
• The straight woman (“the reason I did all this in the first place”) is beaming with shared accomplishment and amazement.

  "I can't believe we did that together." (24:36, ‘Straight girl’)
  "Yeah, me either. Good job. Thanks, everybody. Ooh, nice." (24:38, Tatyana)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Oh, lord, don’t worry y’all. You can keep your boners, I promise.” (07:01, Tatyana, opening her story with self-deprecating humor)
• “If you say the words and you see enough people be like, huh, that’s a good introduction to... Yeah, keep it going, keep saying the things, see if you can make it happen.” (14:44, Tatyana, demystifying community consent)
• “I’m gonna seem a little bit pushy and annoying for a little bit. You just gotta understand that there’s a difference... you gotta be able to read the room.” (15:13, Tatyana, on instigating group play responsibly)
• “There’s kind of like a lazy orgy feeling that happens, right? Where you’re like, I mean, I’m just having orgasms, this is fine..." (13:20, Tatyana, on sexual party atmospheres)
• "17 positions in four minutes... I don’t know if I’ve ever had sex in 17 positions." (24:20, Tatyana, amused awe at the competitive spirit)
• “We are about to cause world peace through strap on sex. Because that's what the Olympics are fucking about, right, you guys?” (19:34, Tatyana)

Important Segment Timestamps

• 07:01 – Tatyana begins her story and sets up the heartbreak backdrop
• 08:45 – A tongue-in-cheek yet sincere take on sex party communication exercises
• 12:51 – “Life goals” moment: recounting a legendary strap-on blowjob
• 17:32 – The phrase “Strap-On Olympics” emerges
• 19:34 – “We are about to cause world peace through strap on sex...”
• 21:20 – Events and competition format are announced
• 22:51 – The games commence; mayhem and laughter ensue
• 24:36 – The heartfelt aftermath and shared joy

Tone and Language

Tatyana’s narrative style is playful, honest, sarcastic-yet-sincere, and deeply sex positive—adopting a camp counselor-meets-queer auntie vibe. The story seamlessly blends humor, vulnerability, emotional nuance, and an infectious sense of possibility.

Takeaway

“Strap-On Olympics” is a dazzling testament to the power of collaboration, unapologetic desire, and queer communal mischief. The episode encapsulates why Bawdy Storytelling endures: it’s raw, raucous, tender, and reminds us that sexual connection and collective joy—when approached with care, consent, and creativity—are transformative acts.

For more like this—subscribe to Bawdy Storytelling and stay tuned for more tales of radical honesty, laughter, and liberation.