Episode 299: ‘Both My Vaginas’ (Sara Lederach)

Summary

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Bawdy Storytelling Podcast: Episode 299

Title: ‘Both My Vaginas’ (Sara Lederach)
Release Date: September 1, 2024
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Featured Storyteller: Sarah Lederach

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Episode Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling, hosted by Dixie De La Tour, features a bold, vulnerable, and laugh-out-loud true story from Nashville-based artist, mother, and sex-positive realtor Sarah Lederach. The main theme is embodied self-discovery and acceptance, as Sarah recounts her journey navigating marriage, motherhood, sexual awakening—and, notably, life with two vaginas due to a septate uterus. The story explores pleasure, healing, non-monogamy, and the transformative magic of sex-positivity, all with Bawdy’s hallmark humor and heartfelt honesty.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing the Show and Host’s Personal Reflections

• Dixie shares personal struggles (“Edna” the van’s breakdown) as a metaphor for grief and adapting through hard things, tying into the episode’s themes of loss, change, and resilience.
• Quote: “How stupid is it to get emotional about a van? But I'm gonna have to figure out something soon.” (08:38)
• Dixie discusses why Bawdy insists on off-script, real-life storytelling: “That’s the way my brain works, y'all… I seem to make it really hard.” (11:00–11:18)

2. Sarah Lederach’s Story: ‘Both My Vaginas’

[14:56]

• Scene Setting: In a Nashville hotel room, Sarah describes a climactic moment of double penetration, foreshadowing the reveal of her double anatomy.

Background/Origins

• Sarah describes her upbringing in a strict Mennonite household as the eldest of nine. Sex education was absent; her adult sexuality grew in opposition to that environment.
• Quote: “I knew that it sometimes hurt to have sex... but just assumed it was standard issue.” (17:21)
• Marriage to a country musician leads to a life revolving around his schedule—Sarah’s sense of self shrinks.

Discovery of Two Vaginas

• At age 20, during an abortion procedure, Sarah learns she has a double uterus, double cervix, and two vaginas (septate uterus).
• The medical staff’s confusion is recounted with dark humor: “Sort of work their way through like a Russian nesting doll situation with speculums and land at one that they inform me is child sized...” (18:12)
• The procedure reveals half the pregnancy tissue is missing: “Did you see it? Was no. So they ultrasounded me and sure enough, there on the left side of my body was a pulsing mass of cells. Because the occupier was still in place. They did a little bit more purposeful wanding and revealed that there is a septum that is to blame.” (19:32)

Sexual Exploration and Relationships

• Tinder and non-monogamy in a failing marriage offer Sarah clarity and stories: “I loved the ease of meeting up with people for the explicit purpose of sex. It was clean, it was easy... It made for really great stories.” (16:36)
• New partner Chuck suggested a threesome; Sarah counter-offers: “Because I'm solutions-oriented... two pussies, but they're both mine.” (15:58)
• Innovative negotiating and agreements: “Perhaps the left side could be for his use only and the right side was a public use beach. It's a really good solution.” (21:08)

Pandemic, Divorce, and Growth

• “Pandemic monogamy” forced emotional intimacy—not just sex as escapism, but as raw connection.
• Divorce leads to buying a duplex and co-parenting with her ex; Sarah’s life and home structure mirrors her anatomy (two separate but interconnected spaces).

Sexual Wish Lists and Play

• Sarah and Chuck prepare a sexual “Google sheet”: “Dream Lover, come and rescue me. It's got a column for the name of activities and then the number of bodies and then the tools that you would need...” (22:43)
• Playfully reframes objectification: “I want to be treated like a very well designed, hard to find piece of mid century furniture.” (23:11)

The Double Penetration Event

• Post-vaccine, Sarah and Chuck invite a flight attendant, Jimmy, for a double penetration encounter.
• Vivid sensory details and affirming dirty talk:
  • “I love two cocks in my face.” (25:00)
  • “Chuck is handing out instructions and also affirmations like, 'You can fuck her harder, buddy. She likes it. Do you like that? Good job, bud. Good job.'” (26:08)
• Service bonus: “I absolutely recommend fucking a flight attendant because as we clean up, he gives me the ultimate in flight accoutrement. He gives me a warm, wet rag to clean myself with. The service is spectacular.” (27:10)

Reflection, Healing, and What "Home" Means

• The experience marks the end of pandemic isolation and a deeper unfurling into self-acceptance: “The universe had given me a partner who wants to know all of me and more importantly, wants me to know all of myself.” (28:00)
• Deep compassion for her former self: “When I think back to when I was choosing to preserve the peace of my home and the peace of my husband and my child at the expense of my pleasure and my desire. I have a lot of compassion for that version of myself.” (28:45)
• Warm closure: “At the end of every day... we go through our ritual of connection, which is to ask one another, what's your favorite thing that happened today? And do you want to do it again tomorrow?” (29:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Moment | |-----------|------------------|--------------| | 08:38 | Dixie De La Tour | “How stupid is it to get emotional about a van? But I’m gonna have to figure out something soon.” | | 11:00 | Dixie De La Tour | “That’s the way my brain works, y’all... I seem to make it really hard.” | | 14:56 | Sarah Lederach | “I am naked in a stranger's downtown Nashville hotel room, sweaty clothing discarded, straddling my boyfriend on the crisp white linen...” | | 18:12 | Sarah Lederach | “Sort of work their way through like a Russian nesting doll situation with speculums and land at one that they inform me is child sized...” | | 23:11 | Sarah Lederach | “I want to be treated like a very well designed, hard to find piece of mid century furniture.” | | 26:08 | Sarah Lederach | “Chuck is handing out instructions and also affirmations like, 'You can fuck her harder, buddy. She likes it. Do you like that? Good job, bud. Good job.'” | | 27:10 | Sarah Lederach | “I absolutely recommend fucking a flight attendant because as we clean up, he gives me the ultimate in flight accoutrement. He gives me a warm, wet rag to clean myself with. The service is spectacular. Spectacular.” | | 29:40 | Sarah Lederach | “At the end of every day... we go through our ritual of connection, which is to ask one another, what's your favorite thing that happened today? And do you want to do it again tomorrow?” |

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Noteworthy Segments & Timestamps

• [00:13] – Show theme song/performance by Shirley Noem
• [01:06–12:18] – Dixie’s intro, personal story about Edna the van, reflections on grief and adaptation
• [14:56–29:53] – Sarah Lederach’s featured story
• [29:53–33:30] – Shirley Noem’s closing song "Believe in Yourself," playful banter and musical humor
• [33:30–35:41] – Workshop announcement and call for support (skip for content focus)

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Episode Tone & Language

• Tone: Raw, confessional, sex-positive, and wryly humorous throughout. Both Dixie and Sarah balance vulnerability and playfulness, creating a welcoming space for taboo, tender, and triumphant narratives.
• Language: Candid descriptions of bodies, sex, and emotions; loaded with witty asides and affirming, inclusive language. True to Bawdy’s brand: direct, generous, deeply human.

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Conclusion

Episode 299 is a powerful blend of openhearted storytelling and sexual honesty, highlighting the transformative journey of self-knowledge and pleasure. Sara Lederach’s story shines as a testament to the value of knowing your anatomy, creating your own rules for pleasure, and cultivating love and compassion for every version of yourself. With Dixie’s guidance and the supportive Bawdy Storytelling ethos, listeners are left inspired to embrace their fullness—be it one vagina or two.

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Transcript

[Dixie De La Tour]

The following podcast contains true stories of sex, kink, gender, or body image. Thanks for being a consenting adult. Cause here we go.

[Shirley Noem]

All of my life I've never fit But I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous get used to it. Everyone tells me I'm too much maybe it's just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm supposed to be? Hey, my vagina is eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just running hide. My vagina is eight miles.

[Sarah Laderock]

What?

[Dixie De La Tour]

Hi there and welcome to the Body Storytelling podcast. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie De La Tour, and this week we have a story from Miracle of Nature and Sex Positive realtor Sarah Laderock. Hi there, story bestie. Well, this is the part of the.

Podcast where I talk about things that are uncomfortable. And I have avoided talking about this.

It may not make much sense to.

You, but to me it was a big fucking deal.

I've been getting a lot of messages from people who have asked me, you're.

Getting ready to go on tour again. So is Edna ready to hit the road? I know that you had trouble when.

You were on the road during all those snowstorms at the beginning of 2024. And no, I will not be taking Edna the minivan this time.

There's a big reason for that, and.

It'S that back in June, I was getting ready to drive up to Portland.

I was going to be doing a show in Portland, and I was going.

To be teaching at Sex Geek Summer Camp. Rest in peace. That was the last year of Sexgeek Summer Camp. And Edna's AC wasn't working.

Had something to do with whatever happened on the road when the heater went out and everything. So I took it to a mechanic who specialized in working on an AC. I found him on Yelp. Top 10 AC people in the San Francisco area. When I got there. Okay, here's a story.

When I got there, there was a guy who didn't speak English.

I had had a very short conversation via text with him. He said, yeah, I can fit you in. Bring it here at 8:30 in the morning. Sent me a picture of the front of his building. Text works great for that. When I got there, didn't really speak English. And I said, hi, I'm Dixie. I have an appointment. And he pointed to a building two doors down.

Well, I said, you were on Yelp.

As being the best AC guy. Why am I going over There. Who are they? They don't have a sign on the front of the building. There's nobody even there. He. I'm like, do they know I'm coming? And he's like, 45 minutes. So it was strange, but I was hitting the road and we were having a heat spell. So I was like, okay, well, I'm not going to be able to find anybody who can fit me in. I guess I'm doing this. The guy shows up. He speaks English a little bit better than the other guy. Obviously, he's the go to for all.

The other mechanics on this row of mechanics. And I tell him what's going on. It just blows hot air.

And so he tells me he's going.

To work on it. I said, great, I'll check in with.

You end of day. End of day. He said, there's something still going on with it.

It's not ready.

And I'm like, well, I have to drive to Portland, so I need to have it back tomorrow.

That's it.

End of day tomorrow. He's like, great, yeah, we'll fix it. So I check in. End of day two. Hi, I. I'm packed. I need to go. And he's like, well, your air conditioning will not work. And also it's $1,100, but you need to pay me in cash. I'm like, wait, you've had my car for two days. It will not have ac, which is what I brought it in for. And he's like, oh, it's a problem. It's gotta be this. But we'll do it when you get back because you said you have to leave. So clearly it's my fault. I got really upset about it and then said, I will pay you with a card. He got very upset and yelled at me. At this point, I'm just like, I just wanna. I should been there two days ago. I'm like, I'm paying with a card. So when I show up, he is setting up an account so that he can accept a card because apparently he never accepted a card before. I pay him $1,100 just to get my car back.

I drive two miles down the road. The entire electrical system goes beep bop.

Beep bop bop bop while I'm driving down the road. And then the car just conks out. I call him and say, I don't know what you did to my car, but you did something really fucked up. And he's like, oh, yeah, no big deal. Just bring it back in the morning. Which is what I was trying to avoid doing. I got it to start again. Eventually, I drove it home. I said, I don't feel safe driving this thing to Portland, Oregon, from San Francisco. So I rented a car, I parked Edna the minivan on the street, and I drove and was gone longer than I thought. I was gone several weeks and then got sick. So all of this is time passing. I decide finally, finally I'm feeling well.

Enough because I've been sick.

I'm gonna go get some creamer and maybe some soup, because I can actually.

I didn't have Covid.

I just had some bug that I caught from being around people.

I go to the grocery store, I.

Get those things, I come out, and Edna won't start. It takes two different triple A appointments for them to go, oh, yeah, no, it's not your battery. It's another thing. Where do you want it to go? Well, I was not going to take it back to him, so I said, well, let's take it to Jose, this mechanic who helped me prepare to go on the road at the beginning of January. So it was towed 50 miles away to Jose. It's been sitting at Jose's this entire time. And one of the things that I did is I prepared Edna at the beginning of the year. This happened in December of 2023, because I left on January 4th.

We had put what we called the brain in. It was a black box. It controlled everything they make it.

So it's all sealed up together so you can't get to it.

I had ordered one. It didn't come in time.

I paid somebody else more to have it in time.

So I spent 15, $1800 to get.

This box put in. And so after Jose has time enough to look at it, after I have it hauled out to Elsa Bronte, he says, yeah, I don't know how this guy got the electricity to reverse, because that's really hard to do. But he fried your black box. We're gonna have to get a new black box.

And then there's probably things behind it, but we gotta get that done.

It took me three months to get the first one, and I've already paid for it once. And I wasn't completely sure that it was the problem that I was facing that meant my car wouldn't pass smog anyway. So now I have to wait another three months. So I'm trying to figure out what to do. I got a call today from Jose that's like, you need to have it off the lot this week. I'm trying to have it hauled to my friend Leo, who's a shade tree mechanic, because Leo has the time to. To start, you know, figuring out what's going on. He's been helping me try to troubleshoot this entire time because I'm getting ready to go on tour and I need to have it out of the way. And the reason I did this, the reason I drove at the beginning of the year during the worst storms that were going on this year, was because it's my mom's van. I was processing grief. I was becoming a grief traveler and had a little Edna figurine on the dash, talking to mom as I went, doing shows, getting in it, going to the next town, telling the little figurine. Well, Philadelphia was harder than I thought it was going to be. But I really loved the stories.

Oh, my God, the people are so nice.

In Nashville, when you're alone in your car, you listen to podcasts and you talk to a little plastic figurine that looks like Edna from the Impossibles and it represents your mom. But it could be that my mom is finally dead. She died last year, but now the van is bringing it all up again. Now maybe Edna really is gone because the van's gone. It was my final piece of her. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it can be fixed. I can't leave it parked on the street in San Francisco. That's just not a thing you do unless you want 800 bargain tickets. So it's not what I need to deal with right now. It's been sitting for a long time. Jose has been doing me a big favor by letting me leave it there while I try and figure out what's going on. But the wait to get the piece that will even let us start to figure out the mystery of what Wilton the shitty mechanic did to my car. We'd have to start there. And it takes months to get that piece because it's always back ordered, because Dodge Grand Caravans all need the same piece because apparently it's the piece that goes out. So I've put off talking about this because how stupid is it to get emotional about a van? But I'm gonna have to figure out something soon. I bought my plane ticket. I'm going to Chicago. I'm really excited about this Chicago show. The tour I did at the beginning of the year was me trying to figure things out. Like the world has changed. How do I have to adapt my show if I'm going to keep it alive? And the first show of any date on a tour is hard. So this is gonna be hard. Processing Grief and doing something hard at the same time seems to be my specialty. I don't know if you've had a chance to watch on hbo, there is a documentary on the life of Albert Brooks. And Albert Brooks said something at the end, at the end of that documentary that really resonated with me.

Somebody said to him, why do you.

Always have to choose the hard way? Why do you always have to choose the most difficult option? And Albert Brooks said, what's really interesting is that you think, I see two options. There's not a hard and an easy way. There's one way. That's the way my brain works, y'. All. That's. That's the way my brain works. I seem to make it really hard. It comes up all the time when people are like, why does it have to be completely told without paper, no notes? That's hard. Why does it have to be about sex, kink, gender, body image? Why does it have to be people who've never been on stage before getting on stage and doing something absolutely terrifying to somebody who's been doing this their whole life? I don't know, y'.

[Shirley Noem]

All.

[Dixie De La Tour]

That's what my brain gets excited for. That's what I want to watch. So that's what I want to make. I've been incredibly lucky for almost 18 years. It comes together in a way that is like, even when it goes wrong, it goes wrong in this really interesting way. Live theater is a total crapshoot. I don't know what's going to happen. I've got six cities coming up. How's it going to go? I guess we'll find out together.

Well, I'm about to head out on my first stop on the fall tour.

And guess what's first. Chicago.

I love Chicago. I haven't been there in five years. And the lineup for this show looks so good. I've got non binary speaker, therapist, author Ray McDaniel. I've got Leatherman and rubber enthusiast Miguel Torres, music by Clara and the Great Goddamn, and so much more. And this stage, this is where they shoot all those comedy specials.

This is going to be at the.

Heath, main stage at the Den.

This stage is intimidating the fuck out of me, y'. All.

So please be there, hold my hand.

Tell me I did okay.

Because this one feels next level. There's a link to tickets in the show notes. If you're not in Chicago, please share it with anybody you know who's in that area. A full house on the first stop of a tour makes all the difference in the world. Thanks so much for considering it. Well, you're probably wondering how people end up on the body storytelling stage, aren't you? Well, I often put out a call saying that I'm looking for true stories of sex, kink, gender or body image. And when I do that in a new city, I put it out everywhere that I can find that. They might find that on the Internet if they listen to the podcast. Better yet. And the minute I announced that I was going to Nashville, I got a pitch that blew my mind. So I'm going to tell you about this week's Storyteller. Sarah Laderock is a longtime body listener and first time body submitter. Sarah is an artist, mama and realtor based in Nashville, Tennessee. She's a big fan of creatively designed lives, which she feels plays into the space we live in and the way that we relate to one another. In her free time you can find her hiking sequestered in her studio with piles of fabric, or digging through dead people's things at estate sales. Being a sex positive realtor is Sarah's greatest delight. Her first couple of transactions originated in that area and Sarah's your go to if you need exposed beams for suspension play or if you just need more space because your polycule is changing. Don't you love that we live in a world where we can be honest with our realtor?

If we gonna spend that much money.

Let'S buy the right house. I'm Polly, I'm kinky and I want to buy this mansion for my paramores and my metamors and I want a place that fits my life. I think that's kind of smart. This storyteller is someone that I fell in love with when I got to spend time with them in Nashville and I truly consider them a friend now. This storyteller is Sarah Laderock.

[Sarah Laderock]

All right. I am naked in a stranger's downtown Nashville hotel room, sweaty clothing discarded, straddling my boyfriend on the crisp white linen. I had been led into the room blindfolded, with only my hands and lips and nose to orient me to the space and men. Their bodies complement one another perfectly. One is luscious, her suit and smells like home to me. The other is smooth and hard and completely foreign to my touch. Touch. I lift my hips and feel my pussy stretch to accommodate two cocks as my new friend slides inside. Sex has been one of my favorite ways to meet people for a long time, but I lost sight of myself for a while as I navigated marriage and motherhood. You know that Thing where you get sadder and sadder in increments and you squish yourself sad, smaller and smaller to fit into places that you really actually never wanted to belong. That's where I was when I met my partner, the man who smells like home. I was in the death rattle of my marriage, and it was months before the dawn of the pandemic. Fifteen years before I, a very slutty Midwestern feminist, had married a man that plays country music for a living. But I had never found reason to listen to country music. And I'm really not talking about wet leg. They were fabulous, Absolutely fabulous. So as his career blossomed, my life got smaller and smaller and further and further away from anything that I had imagined for myself. Life revolved around tour schedules and his career and parenting by myself and wondering if people who I didn't even really respect liked me. I didn't know what I liked. I was just sort of part of the architecture. So I was bored and I was lonely, and my marriage was open, and I was obviously on Tinder. I loved the ease of meeting up with people for the explicit purpose of sex. It was clean, it was easy. It wasn't going to interrupt the status quo. It made for really great stories. You want to meet at a bar, that's fine. Would you like to pretend to have coffee and then we'll go fuck in your hotel room? That's great. You want me to let myself into your house while you shower? That sounds safe. I'm going to totally do that. So in late 2019, I came across a profile with a man declaring himself the disgraced former mayor of East Nashville and obviously swiped right because I needed to know about that as an East Nashvillian myself. We met up for coffee, or tea, rather, the next week. And Chuck showed up. You met Chuck looking like a bearded, tattooed Nick Offerman, but bald and wearing very expensive sneakers. We sat face to face over a steaming pot of hot tea, and he led with, I am addicted to bang energy drinks and filet o fish sandwiches. I replied with, I'm painting a magazine cover of my own menstrual blood. You'd really be surprised how long it keeps me in the refrigerator. It's true, we were smitten. Before our second date, Chuck pitched a threesome, but I let him know that I actually don't have group sex until the third date. But because I'm solutions oriented, I had another option, which is two pussies, but they're both mine. So he stopped texting me and called and said, please Explain. And I reported that I have a septum, a wall that runs from the top to bottom of my reproductive system. So there are two uteri, two cervices and two vaginas. I had learned this tidbit about my body as a 20 year old when I found myself pregnant and in need of reproductive health care. Thankfully, in 2001 in northern Indiana, we had access to abortions. And so I got myself to South Bend, Indiana, passed the little shitty nun on the way into the office and landed on the medical table, feet in stirrups, legs spread, ready to go, while a nurse and extremely German doctor tried to find a speculum that would fit in my apparently teeny tiny, itty bitty little pussy. I hadn't been having sex for long. I am the oldest of nine children. My family is Mennonite royalty. I was a very good girl. I didn't really fuck with drugs or sex until I was in college, at which point I ambitiously explored all of the options I could get my hands on. I knew that it sometimes hurt to have sex. I knew that something would feel like it caught or there was something that would sort of stop. I'd had my fingers in there for years and knew it to be squishy and wet, but just assumed it was standard issue. So the doctor and nurse sort of work their way through like a Russian nesting doll situation with speculums and land at one that they inform me is child sized so that they can begin the procedure. So I'm on my back, you know, watching the canister fill up with tissue and fluid and noticing that the nurse and doctor are sort of becoming more and more disconcerted and asking questions like, did you see it? We got to the end of the procedure and the answer to did you see it? Was no. So they ultrasounded me and sure enough, there on the left side of my body was a pulsing mass of cells. Because the occupier was still in place. They did a little bit more purposeful wanding and revealed that there is a septum that is to blame. And you know, the tiny little baby speculum made sense, but nothing else did. I didn't even know it was an option. So I did eventually terminate the pregnancy. I went home that day and in the way of underage anarchists, made myself a bar out of cinder blocks and duct tape. And then a few weeks later got a medical abortion, took the pill, walked around the block a few times, and a little golf ball sized orb plopped into the toilet. I fished it out to look at it, it was pretty cool. And then flushed it away. So over the next years, I obviously became very well acquainted with two vaginas. I know how to avoid the pain. I know how to avoid, you know, the catching and the tearing. The left side is tighter. It is my favorite. It is still a little terrifying every time I'm fucked really hard because it's torn so many times, but it's fine. And I, I mean, you bleed a little bit sometimes. It's all right. I dreamt of two cocks to match two pussies and wrote fully functional to diephalia into pieces. In college, I, you know, masturbated about it. But the opportunity never presented itself. So as Chuck and I became more entangled, we wrote a non monogamy agreement. I suggested that perhaps the left side could be for his use only and the right side was a public use beach. It's a really good solution. We typed it into a Google document and suddenly the pandemic was upon us. And so, like, our ideas about non monogamy were about to go completely out the window. Where am I in my story? With the advent of the pandemic, we transitioned into and sort of chose were forced into something that we called pandemic monogamy. So this for us was this experience where we, as two people who really like to use sex for, like, entertainment and novelty and like, as an emotional band aid, had to figure out how to just be together, like literally in our own homes for two years. It, you know, gave us an opportunity to have emotional, raw conversations that led to hungry, passionate sex. Also, with the advent of the pandemic, I decided to divorce the country musician. We bought a duplex so that we could parent together. Septate uterus, septate home. It all works really well for me. I think that the messiness of our separate lives when Chuck and I met really set a culture within our relationship where growth is expected. But it comes with the understanding that it's not going to be beautiful and graceful and you're not always going to show up as your best self. It's a place that you can be vulnerable and a place where you can fuck up and apologize and cry. It felt like the whole world was a dumpster fire, but I really healed within those flames. We also used the time to create a Google sheet because I'm a huge fan of the Google suite that was for planning our sexual escapades post pandemic. So we're waiting on the vaccines to show up. So I made this Google sheet that's called Dream Lover, come and rescue me. And it's got a column for the name of activities and then the number of bodies and then the tools that you would need. So it's stuff like auction house or bound and gagged. It's nice. We still check stuff off on it. I really like to be objectified, but not as something of no value. I'm not a cum dumpster. I want to be treated like a very well designed, hard to find piece of mid century furniture. So, you know, you have to. So, you know you like spend a lot of time looking for this object and then you pay a lot of money for it and then you have it in your home and you spend a lot of time sort of admiring it and looking at it and you share it with your friends sometimes. So top of list for me is an entry involving double penetration that is called double your pleasure, double the fun. So vaccines come on the scene, we are vaccinated. Cultural or calculated. Risk feels, you know, somewhat better and we're ready to go. So I met Jimmy, who is a flight attendant on field on a Sunday afternoon, and then very quickly just negotiated a play date for that even evening. The rules are that Chuck is in charge. He can pull the plug whenever he wants to. And I am to do what I am told. Which is great because we already know that I'm a very good girl. We drive downtown and take the elevator up to Jimmy's hotel room. And I mask up. Which for the first time in like two years means that I put on a blindfold and not an N95 mask on my face. It's awesome. Chuck leads me down the hall and I hear the door open and he says, open your mouth and get on your knees. Which is thrilling because I love two cocks in my face. So I kneel down. The hotel room floor is obviously digging into my knees and trace my fingers down Jimmy's hard thigh to find his hard, buttery cock. I put it in my mouth. I take turns with the boys giving them pleasure in turn. They are very good at sharing and their moans are intoxicating. At some point, someone lifts me onto the bed and I feel a cock in my pussy and a cock in my mouth. Chuck is handing out instructions and also affirmations like, you can fuck her harder, buddy. She likes it. Do you like that? Good job, bud. Good job. It's a real thing that happens. We're a big fan of affirmations that are orgies. Someone flips me onto my back and I hear Chuck say, hey, do you want to Fuck her together, both at the same time, both in the same hole. I'm like, vibrating with pleasure. So I mount Chuck on the edge of the bed and savor his belly and trace the texture of his tattoos and feel Jimmy's hard body press in from behind my pushy stretches around two cocks. Our three bodies move together. It is fabulous. The two boys stroked in tandem and eventually come in my pulsing pussy. Now I absolutely recommend fucking a flight attendant because as we clean up, he gives me the ultimate in flight accoutrement. He gives me a warm, wet rag to clean myself with. The service is spectacular. Spectacular. That night marked a seasonal shift. So, like, not only was it the end of the isolation of the pandemic, but a bigger unfurling of the bounds of my pre pandemic life. Just in time for a giant reset. The universe had given me a partner who wants to know all of me and more importantly, wants me to know all of myself. It also gave us the time to sit and process our shit together. It was time to plan to make the Google document with all of the quantities of our sexual fantasies. It was an emergence. You know, for the first time ever, we were playing with strangers together. And for the. It took two years, but Chuck got his threesome. And it was the first time in 20 years that I got two cocks from my two pussies. So I think home is one of those words that's really mutable. It's like sexual. It means 100 different things to any given person. And when I think back to when I was choosing to preserve the peace of my home and the peace of my husband and my child at the expense of my pleasure and my desire. I have a lot of compassion for that version of myself. She was doing the best she could. She. I mean, her nervous system was always activated and she never really felt at home in her body. When I think of home now, I think of the little piece of East Nashville that is mine. I think of my kiddo. I think of the two separate households that Chuck and I keep. And I think of the end of every day when I still bury my face in his neck. And we go through our ritual of connection, which is to ask one another, what's your favorite thing that happened today? And do you want to do it again tomorrow? I am so thankful for this life. I am so thankful for. For the growth. And I'm very thankful for this man who smells like home.

[Shirley Noem]

But don't listen to because it's not what it seems. They try to tear you down Say you're a hopeless fool to give up and to smart enough. The world can be so cruel. Don't listen to the haters. Forget all that stuff. You can put anything up your vagina, you try hard enough. So believe in yourself, you can't do anything. Trust in yourself, you have everything. A cucumber doesnate over count amount to do. There's nothing that you can't show. Deep inside of you.

I realize that this song isn't necessarily an inclusive one. I know that not everyone listening to it has a vagina and I don't want anyone to feel left out of all the inspirational feelings I'm clearly causing. So if you're listening and you do not have a vagina of your own during this song, just imagine your sisters or your mom's there we're all sent.

Compared to all the objects you could shove into your hoo hoo There are so many things that are harder to get inside of you. Like the feeling of belonging.

Oh, a little self esteem maybe Hope.

For your future, hope for our dreams. In a world that always tells you.

[Dixie De La Tour]

You'Re not good enough.

[Shirley Noem]

Well, an orange or the handle of a frying pan, that's the easy stuff. Now let's listen to everything I brought up there. Right on out.

[Sarah Laderock]

O.

[Shirley Noem]

No, no, no, you're n. You don't need a purse, you don't need a bag. All you need is you. Check your asshole. There might be some room.

Oop, out she goes. Oh, that's where I put that. Oh, look at that. Oh, fuck. That was from the last album.

[Sarah Laderock]

Watermelon.

[Shirley Noem]

Believe in Yourself.

[Dixie De La Tour]

I'm a big fan.

That was Believe in Yourself by the inimitable Shirley Noem. What if I told you that I could make every aspect of communication easier for you? Dating work. Every single aspect of your life is affected by storytelling.

It's your ability to communicate.

So I am teaching my workshop how to be Dixie's secret system for uncensored storytelling. And I'm doing it live and online. It's a six week hands on storytelling intensive. Yes, it is talking about sex, kink, open relationships, consent, all of it.

But what we're basically teaching you is how to tell a story.

We're just making it really fun. Think about the stories you're going to get to hear, the conversations that you're going to have that relate to all aspects of sex, kink, gender, body image. This is the most fun way you'll ever have to learn how to tell a story. It's online. It starts on September 16th and each week there's going to be office hours. You can drop in if you're available, work on stories, get custom coaching. And by the way, if you'd rather.

Do it in person, I'm also offering.

An in person intensive in Portland, Oregon and in Seattle, Washington. Sign up for how to Be Dixie's Secret System for Uncensored Storytelling. There's a link in the show Notes. I need your help to ensure that this podcast continues. I can't go out of pocket anymore. It costs money to have podcast producers and web hosting and all of the things that are part of making a podcast happen. My labor is free.

I'd love to get paid one day.

But I need to pay those other people now.

If Patreon's not your thing and it's.

Patreon.Com body in case it is your thing, there's also Venmo, PayPal, Cash App, Zelle. Any of those things will mean that you continue to get these stories.

I have so many great stories I.

Want to share with you. Help me make that happen. We're at the end of the episode. I'm so grateful to you for listening to this. It means a lot when you put the energy into creating a podcast and then knowing that people listen. If you did, please send me a message however you want to do it. It means a lot to know that you have thoughts. I like to hear your thoughts. I also want to say thank you to the people who make this podcast possible. Thank you to David Grossoff, Donal Mooney, Mohsa Maxwell Smith, and podcast producer Roman Den Hautecker. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie Delator. This has been episode 299 of the Bawdy Storytelling Podcast. And again, thanks for listening.

[Sarah Laderock]

RA.