A (10:13)

Fuck, yeah.

B (10:18)

And then you don't want to stop doing it. So next thing, I'm tied up and I'm gagged, and there's really no need for that because by now I'm subverbal. And David is. He's got my hole so relaxed, he's punch fisting me and there's lube going everywhere. And it was. I'm thinking, this is. I will not believe this afterwards, thank God I'm recording it.

A (10:43)

So.

B (10:46)

I can't remember how it ended, except with lots of towels. But I remember what it started. And it started a year later, I was doing fisting porn. Two years after that, I was traveling internationally and teaching fisting. And in 2014, I found myself at Fist Fest, which is like Comic Con for fisting. It's a lot smaller. There aren't nearly as many costumes. In fact, there's not much clothes at all. But it's still full of nerds. And I'm in Palm Springs at Fist Fest. It kind of travels around like Comic Con. And it so happens that in Palm Springs, at the same time, not even to be there for Fist Fest, is Mike, my Al Cid from True Blood. And we're texting back and forth, and he's not sure if he can get away from the thing he's in town to do. But somehow or other, I can't believe it. There's a guy holding a satellite party in a Ultimate Cage Fighter wrestling gym that he has, and I wind up there, and Mike winds up there. And on the mat. I wish I could say it was in the cage, it wasn't, but on the mats of this Ultimate Fighter gym, I finally take Mike's fist. And it was fun, but I have to say, he looks like Alcide from True Blood, but he fists like the Terminator. And it was fun up to a point. You know, it's nice to have a bit more soul, a little bit more variety in the play, but this is a fisting story, so it needs a happy ending. And four months later, I found myself in San Francisco, and I bumped into this really hot, sexy, beefy daddy beautiful man who invited me on a date. And six hours into that date, he said he loved me. And I said, I love you, too. And just under a year later, we got married, and I live with him in the East Bay. He's here this evening, and he has taught me that being fisted from someone who looks like they're from True Blood is hot, but being fisted by your true love is way hotter.

C (13:47)

A relaxed ass is a happy ass.

A (13:50)

But if it's a tight and unrelaxed ass, it's an unhappy ass.

C (14:02)

So I want to tell you a little bit about why I love pornography. When I was a kid and they announced that we were going to have sex education, they sent me home with a permission slip to get my parents permission. My mom thought that if boys and girls were in a classroom together and they were talking about sex, that it was going to turn into a big old classroom orgy, and she was going to end up with a pregnant daughter, and she didn't want that, so she refused to sign the permissions letter. And so while everybody else was learning about semen and about where babies come from, I found out eventually, but I was not allowed to take sex ed. I sat in the library and I read a book, and I felt incredibly left out. So not long after that summer came. We lived in the Blue Ridge Mountains, not far from Roanoke, Virginia. And in Roanoke, there were adult bookstores. So I hatched a plan, told my mom I wanted to go to work with her, that I was gonna go to the nearest theater, and I was gonna watch, I don't know, Grease 2. Something like that. And I would get on a bus and I would take it across town, and I would go to the adult bookstore. And I guess I looked older than I was, or I guess they didn't really care. And I would go in, I would have a roll of quarters because I was already. I was prepared for that. The way that it worked was they had these small little booths, and each one played a different movie. I would choose a movie, I would go in, and I would sit down by myself. You'd put a quarter in, and you'd get to watch, like, two minutes of a movie. Because it was an adult bookstore. Often the locks didn't work because there were a lot of glory hole action. Glory hole, where you can stick a dick through a hole and not know who's sucking your dick on the other side. But there was a lot of anonymous sex, and none of the locks worked on the door. So often I'd be sitting there watching intently, learning how to give a blowjob, and somebody would open the door, go, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And then realize that there was a girl in there. They'd slowly open the door again and say, hey, there, I've got quarters. And I'd say, I got quarters, too. Get the away from me. I'm not here for that. I really just wanted to learn. And pretty soon, when school came back in the fall, I was the resident expert on sex. Cheerleaders would come up to me and they'd ask how to give a blowjob, and I'd say, okay, the name is misleading. You suck. You don't actually blow. I'd learned a lot from watching porn, and I'm so grateful that I got to take my education into my own hands, so to speak. And I was persistent about learning about sex for myself. And if you're a parent, this is a cautionary tale. Look at what I do for a living. If you don't let your kids take sex education, they are gonna grow up to do what I do. And if you are worried about sex education, you probably don't want that. So let your kids learn about sex. Talk to them openly about it, and they will not be in the quarter loops having dirty old men offer them quarters for sex.

A (17:36)

How was that? That was definitely a happy ass.

C (17:46)

So we're about to take the show on the road, and I really want to see you in person at a live body storytelling show. We've got upcoming shows in Seattle, in San Francisco, in Brooklyn, in Boston, and in Baltim in Brooklyn. We are Going to be doing a collaboration show with the Risk podcast. I love doing shows with Kevin Allison. He's so much fun. We're so on the same page with this stuff. And the date of that show is Tuesday, September 26th. The theme of the night is Scandalous. Body storytelling and Risk get scandalous together at the Bell House in Brooklyn. You can get your tickets on the Risk podcast website@risk-show.com or you can get them on my website@bawdistorytelling.com right after that, I'll be in Boston at Club Oberon. And the night of that show is Thursday, September 28th. You can get your tickets on the Club Oberon site or you can get them on Body storytelling site as well. This is my first time in Boston. It's scary when you do a show in a new city. So I would really love for you to be at the show to come up, say hi, tell me you're listening to the podcast. Tell me me what kind of stories you want to hear on the podcast because it's really hard to read your mind. I like to know these things. And then we are going to be in Baltimore. I have so been waiting to do a show in Baltimore. That show is going to be at Ideal Art Space and it's going to be on Friday, September 29th. So a Friday night in Baltimore. That's not that far from Washington, D.C. so I'd love for friends in D.C. and Baltimore to show up, say hi face to face and tell me about your own body stories. You can get tickets on our website. You know where that is. And then we'll be back on the West Coast. We'll be in Seattle on Thursday, October 12th. The theme of the night is lusty. So those are going to be some hot stories. And that will be at the Rebar Seattle on Thursday, October 12th. And then I'll be back in San Francisco doing a theme I've never done before. I'm getting a lot of story pitches for this theme, but there's still time to pitch your own story. The theme of the night is sexual napalm, and that will be on Thursday, October 29th. In October, we move our show to Thursday nights in San Francisco. I hope it's a better night for you that you can show up and be at a live show too, because there is nothing like a live body storytelling. And before I move on, I'm gonna tell you what's happening. Sexual napalm means to me. Recently I was talking to someone about an old flame, someone in my life Who I hadn't seen in many years. But the chemistry we had had between us was so dangerous. I felt like I couldn't even be in the same city that he was. We tried to stay on different sides of the bay to keep from fucking up our relationships for various reasons. We have a very volatile past. And when I was trying to describe that this person had come up out of the past and we had started talking and how crazy I had felt just talking to him on the phone, my friend said, oh, yeah, there's a name for that. It's called sexual napalm. Never heard that phrase before. I know that I'm a make love, not war kind of girl, but I'm gonna give it a try. On Thursday, October 19th, we'll be doing stories so hot that you'll go home singed. Wear something flame retardant for that show and you can get your tickets@bodystorytelling.com our final storyteller is from a friend that I had not seen in many years, and I've been trying to get her on stage at body storytelling for a long, long time. She is an award winning gay porn director, a videographer, a photographer, and a proud pervert who's been working the gay porn industry for over 15 years. She works as the director of film production for Naked sword films. And she loves hanging out with her gay boys and doing stuff only bisexuals get to do. Wonder what that is. Our final storyteller is Mr. Pam.

A (22:21)

What's up, cocksuckers? How are you tonight? Can I move this? Oh my God. It's like a big cock. Okay. Hi, everybody. Hi. So I have this ritual when the lights are set up and the sound is all set, and the ship sheets are pretty clean and ready to go, and the lube and condoms at the side of the bed. And I just sit there and I'm waiting for the bottom to douche out his ass. And I just put my camera between my legs and I start cleaning the lens and get all the schmegma from whatever happened from the scene before that splashed on it. And it's my little meditative moment. So as I'm doing this, it's kind of like this. You're on the set and the lights are there and they're very hot. And I. I hear this joyous laughter coming down the hallway. I'm like, what is that? It's definitely not the bottom because usually it takes a really long time to douche. So I see this and all of a sudden out of this light comes this figure, this gorgeous man with these muscles and this long black hair that slicked back, and he just is bulging with sexiness like sex on wheels. And he comes a little closer. I'm like, wow. It's like if Popeye was kidnapped as a child and then all of a sudden kidnapped by this Brazilian gods and they turned him into the most perfect porn star in the world and set him in front of me. There he is, Raphael Alencar. Beautiful gay boys know him, right? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. So for the straight. Straight. Whatever, whatever. Okay. So he's just perfect. So he's walking down the hallway and he's flirting with everybody. Oh, hey. Oh, hi. Hi. Hi. He has this really tight white tank top and his hair is all there and he's barefoot. And actually he's naked from the waist down and just fondling his junk. Because you know when guys are naked, they have to play with it. So especially on a porn set, they're just playing with it. It's like if you have a 7 year old in a Tonka truck and you just like put it in their lap, like, don't play with it. They're like, I gotta play with it. So that's like guys when they're naked. So he's walking down the hallway and he's got his junk and like, hey, what's up? Hand on the. What's up? How are you? Hand on the. Hi. I'm like, okay, his hands are covered in penis, but whatever, he's really cute. So he comes up to me. Hi. Hi. What's your name? Mr. Pam. Which is Raphael. Okay, so we start the scene. So I'm doing camera. So it starts out and he's kissing and it's good. And he's got this little very clean twink because he took a while to clean out his ass. So they're kissing and then they're like doing some cock sucking. And the twink's like crying because tears are really good, you know? And then we get to the anal and so the little twink's bent over and Raphael's going through slow because this thing is fucking huge. Like, there's dick and then there's dick. Like sometimes it's not a dick you want. Every day it's like prime rib. You don't want to eat it every day, but on occasion you're like, I'll have some prime rib with creme brulee. It's like both of those together. So he's starting really slow. It's like a baby's arm like, if a baby were to fist you, that would be Raphael. And I'm not into pedicle. Okay? So the. So he's doing it. So the twink's warming up, and all of a sudden he grabs him and he flips him up and down. And the twink's little pink hole is, like looking up. And I'm over Raphael. And Raphael's got his big dick and he's just. And I'm over him. Like, oh, my God, this is the best piledriver shot ever. And just come everywhere. It was beautiful. So we became really good friends after that. So we worked together for many years. Dozens of scenes. And like, when you work with a model a lot, you kind of get to know them. So I knew what he did. So it's like a waltz. Like, if he's fucking and I'm shooting him and we're going up and then they grab the throat and then they come down and I come down with them. And it's just this. It's like Dancing with the Stars, but porn. So we're doing it and we just got our groove on. It's awesome. So we both end up moving to New York. And this one day after the set, I had like 400 pounds of luggage in a fifth floor walk up. Yeah, thanks. New York. Have you been there? Yeah, it's summer. Yes. It gets worse. So I'm like, I can't carry all this shit upstairs. He's like, I'll help you. I'll help you. So we lug everything up the stairs and we collapse on the couch. And then all of a sudden he's like looking at me. So when are we gonna fuck? And leans in and kisses me. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, I totally thought you were gay. He's like, no, I'm Brazilian. Okay. So I'm kind of a slut. So we start making out. And if I close my eyes, it was one of those like, oh, my God, his skin feels so good. And a good kisser. And everything is just like, this is a really hot fuck. Then I open my eyes, I'm like, whoa, what are you doing? I'm usually on top of you with the camera. Like, all of a sudden, I'm in the porn scene and you're on top of me and you're fucking me and I'm touching. This is so surreal. Okay. Hot fuck. Ah, weird. Hot fuck. Weird. So it was hot. So we continued doing it because I'm a big old slut pornographer and he's a porn Star hooker. One of the biggest award winning hookers in New York. He's. Yeah, he's amazing. So we get it on. And then this one day, we're hanging out in Central park and we're walking around doing like what normal people do. We had like a normal day. It was daylight and we're out. So we're sitting in this bench and we're having this conversation. And he's kind of rubbing my hand. It was like somewhat romantic. And he looks at me and then he pops the question. He's like, we should have a baby. What? What? No. Oh my God. I'm like a world traveler gay pornographer. And you're a big old hooker and like, what are we gonna do? And like take your kid to work day? Like, hi, this is mom and dad. And I shoot dad fucking guys in the asshole. Like, no, I don't know. No, no, no, no, no. Come on, it'll be fun. No, no, no, no. So whatever. So he had to go see a client and I went home to work on a porn script. So like, okay, that's kind of cute. So a few hours later, I get a phone call and it's him. The man. Oh my God. When he gets real riled up, he forgets English. So he's speeching Portuguese. And I don't really know any Portuguese other than tudo bon. So I'll just say tutu bon. Tuto bon. Tuto bon. That means how are you? I know that's not what he said, but. So he's freaking out, so I'm like, okay, what's wrong? He's like, ah, you have to come over. So I come over to his house and get in a cab, go uptown and I let myself in slowly. I'm like, I don't know what I'm walking into. So open the door and there's like really dark. You know, he's a hooker, so he's got the music, you know, the lighting going. And there's this like freaky techno. And in the background I could see a silhouette of this guy, kind of like normal, like putting his shirt on and wiping his nose and sniffling. I'm like, okay, whatever. He sees me, he's like, ah, like, Like a cockroach. Like, okay, he runs in the bathroom and so I go over and Raphael's laying on the bed in which was once this beautiful cock. This beautiful cock that I cherish and I worship from afar. And an ear, and it's just there and it's just kind of mangled like it's purple and red and it looked like. You know when a python, like, eats something, eats its prey, but it's a little big, and it's too big, and there's something inside of it squirming and it's kind of to the side. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on with your dick? He's like, I don't know. The guy was just like, fuck me harder. Fuck me harder. Fuck me harder. And I'm him, harder. I'm fucking him harder. And all of a sudden I missed his hole and I hit the thing and it just kind of. I know. True story. What? I think I broke my dick. I'm like, okay. So I gather what's left of his penis in this, like, towel with some ice, and, like, get him in the car. And then the client with us, we're all in a cab and okay, note if you walk away with anything tonight, if you hire a hooker and you're high on cocaine and you're screaming at him to fuck you harder, and all of a sudden he misses and he breaks his dick. And then you can at least pay for services rendered or pay for the cab. Okay, thank you. Okay, back to the story. So we're in the cab, and all of a sudden, Mr. Cokehead, like, jumps out of the cab. He's, well, fuck you. So we get to the hospital, and so Raphael doesn't want to tell everybody that he's a prostitute because I guess that's illegal. So he goes and gives his own stories to the nurse. So I'm walking through, and the nurse is just like, mm, what I know about you. Yeah, I'm keeping my man away from you. You a dick breaker, bitch. For real? For real. Okay, thanks, Rafael. I didn't want to tell him. Thanks. Okay, so then the dick doctor comes up, the urologist, I guess, and she's like, well, it looks like you have a penile fracture, so we're going to have to operate right away. And, you know, chances are pretty good, but there might be some slight chance of erectile dysfunction in your future, and we're going to have to circumcise you. Both of us are like, no, you don't even know. This is a world famous gay porn star, and he's won awards for his big uncut cock. And you can't do this, and why would you even try to circumcise? And you have to fix it. We're gonna have a baby. She's like, I'll do what I can. So he gets whisked off, and I'm sitting in the waiting room for, like, four hours. Like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Save the dick. Save the dick. Save the dick. Save the dick. Save the dick. What's he gonna do? He could go back to being a dentist, I guess. I don't know. He could, like. We could move in with my family. What did he do? I mean, he makes his money off of his dick. So she comes out, she's like, okay, I have some good news. We think it's a success, but we won't really know for a while. Okay. Because he's very swollen. But we think we saved his foreskin. Okay? So he needs a lot of bed rest, a lot of icing, and no hard ons and no sex for at least six weeks. I know, I know. Can you imagine? Six weeks? Okay, so if I was thinking, I wasn't quite sure I'm ready to have a baby. Taking care of a post op dick from a Brazilian is just like taking care of a newborn. You have to cater to it and swab it and feed it and burp it. And if it starts crying or getting hard, you have to calm it back down. I'm like, it was like six weeks of hell. So we made a pact, okay? So let's go through the six weeks. If we can handle it, then we'll go to Puerto Rico and celebrate. So six weeks goes by. Two things about Rafael is he loves to fuck and he loves to travel, but he does not like to plan anything. So we land in Puerto Rico, we get a rental car, and we start driving. We're like, okay, this is cute. But me being a total control freak, I'm like, I don't even know where we're gonna stay. Okay, so we see in this little village, there's this, like, shack and a bar type thing with these four old Puerto Rican men. They're just sitting there smoking. And there's like, a dog that's itching itself and, like, some lighting. It's starting to get dark. And we pull over it. Excuse me, is there a bed and breakfast around here or something? Mi espanol. S? S E. S E. You know my tacos, Spanish. So they're like, oh, yeah, man, you could come up here. I'm like, okay, no, this looks like an insane asylum. I guess it was an old abandoned hotel that had been there forever. And they're like, no, no, no. My cousin is here. You could come. Stay here. It's fine. Oh, come on, my friend. Give me $40. We find you a blanket. I'm like, okay, so fine. So we go upstairs. If I was by myself, I would have, like, ran out screaming because it was something straight out of a horror movie. But I'm with him. And when you like someone, you put on those rose colored glasses. Everything's okay. So we kind of make do with what we have. The whole hotel was abandoned. So we're out on this little porch and we got some food we found at the side of the road and we had a little picnic. And then we went in our room and I put a little pashmina over the light and kind of scurried away. The cockroaches. And we're trying to calm down and then it's time. It's time to test out the new penis. Okay, so we're like kissing and everything and it's going. Okay. Are you okay? Yeah. Are you okay? Yes, I'm fine. Okay. So then like pulls his pants down and it's getting hard. And it's okay to get hard now because the doctor said so. It's growing and it's growing. And it looks okay. It looks good. It's got some scarring around the top, but things are holding together. So I'm like, well, let me give it a little kiss. Okay. Okay. Smells. Okay. Okay, this is good. All right, so, okay, this is the moment of truth. So Raphael's laying down with this enormous dick and I'm like, over him, like, okay. And I got my little sexy number on and I'm like, over him. You know, I'm like kind of lowering down and all of a sudden I'm like, holy fuck. I have this whole sexual future right between my legs. If anything goes wrong, we are fucked. There is no medical facility anywhere near where we are. And if I break it again, oh my God, he'll never. And he looks at me with those little brown eyes. I'm like, okay, okay, okay, okay. It's okay. We could do this. I'm like, all right. So I'm lowering down. It's touching. Are you okay? Yeah. Okay. Okay, we got an inch. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm good. Okay. Okay. Okay. Two inches. Good. All right. Some people, that's all they have. But we're going for 12. Okay. Three, four. I'm pretty good with four or five. No, let's do the whole thing. All of a sudden, down. We're in. We're in. We achieved it. Yes. The dick was intact, the sex was good, and we both came. Woo hoo. Yeah. So now when we're back on the porn set and we're doing that epic piledriver. And I'm leaning over on him and he's looking over at me, and we just give that little wink because he knows and I know because of his urologist and my magical vagina, that we saved the world of gay porn. Thank you very much.

C (37:15)

I'd like to say thank you to the people who made this podcast episode possible. To podcast producer Matthew Marder, to sound engineer David Grossoff, to Dana, to Crystal, to Joe Moore, who is our archivist and video person, to Reuben Tan, who runs our livestream and on demand@bodystreaming.com and to you. Thank you for listening to this episode. Please go on to wherever you review podcast episodes and give us a lot of stars. Tell people why this podcast is great and tell your friends about it. We'll be back really soon with the next episode of the Body storytelling podcast. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour. Thanks so much for listening.

A (38:01)

I'm glad we have this new technology, 4Porn, which gives us untold opportunity. 4Porn. Oh, sorry. From your own desktop 4, you can research, browse and shop until you've had enough and you're ready to stop porpor. The Internet is 4 porn. Internet is for polygon. Trekkie me up all night hugging me Porn. To porn. Porn. Porn. That's gross. You're a pervert. Ah, sticks and stones, Kate. Monster. No, really. You're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the Internet. Oh, what? You have no idea. Ready? Normal people ready? Ready.

C (38:54)

Ready.

A (38:54)

Let me hear it. The Internet is horrible. Sorry, Kate. The Internet is horrible. I masturbate. All these guys unzip their flies for porn. Porn. The Internet is not for porn. Porn. Porn. Hold on a second. Wow. Now I happen to know for a fact that you rod check your portfolio and trade stocks online. That's correct. And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com. sure. And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on ebay. Yes, I do. And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card. True. Oh, but Kate, what you think he do after? Yeah. Ew. The Internet is your poor. Hello. The Internet is your poor. I hate porn. Grab your dick and double click for porn. Porn, Porn. I hate net. I'm leaving. I hate the Internet. The Internet is porn. Internet is porn.

B (40:00)

He's punch fisting me and there's lube going everywhere. And it was. I'm thinking this is. I will not believe this afterwards. Thank God I'm recording it.