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Bawdy Storytelling
Episode 36 - The Master At Work
00:25:50
The first of many true stories told live at the infamous Re-bar in Seattle, Washington
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- [00:08]
Performer/Poet
Five bucks cause you're gonna fuck tonight Five bucks cause you're gonna cluck nine say all right people I take a bite Five bucks cause you're gonna fuck tonight cause you're getting stuck tonight Five bucks cause a little luck tonight you gonna fight for your ride be a Dyck 5 bucks cause you're gonna fuck tonight 5 bucks cause you're gonna fuck Tonight 5 bucks in my truck tonight hold on tight for the ride open wide 5 bucks cuz you're gonna tonight look at you, you're getting tonight. Wanna bet how much? I'm putting five bucks on the table, baby.
- [00:44]
Dixie Delator
Welcome back to the Bonnie Storytelling Podcast. I am sexual folklorist Dixie Delator. I want to thank you for your patience and I want to say I'm back. I've missed you. Have you missed me?
- [00:57]
Co-host/Listener
Oh, yeah.
- [00:59]
Dixie Delator
So you're listening and you subscribe and you really like the Body Storytelling Podcast? Well, let me tell you how to make sure it keeps going. We are supporting the podcast through Patreon. That is P A T R E O N dot com and Patreon, let's say if you've ever supported a Kickstarter. A Kickstarter is kind of like a one night. Patreon is friends with benefits. We know that we can rely on you. It's a regular monthly donation that lets us know that we have money coming in for sound engineers and people recording the best quality live sound off our stage show and all the costs that are accrued. So go to patreon.com body spelled b a w D Y C. Support us at whatever level feels good for you. And thanks in advance for helping us continue to put this podcast out and for continuing to grow.
- [01:59]
Co-host/Listener
All right, y', all, let's talk about what's been going on.
- [02:04]
Dixie Delator
I want to apologize to you for starting a podcast and conking out on it. So here's what happened. I had a family member die.
- [02:16]
Co-host/Listener
And you know how death kind of.
- [02:19]
Dixie Delator
Makes you say, what's the point? What's the point in anything? Is what I'm doing making any difference in the world.
- [02:30]
Co-host/Listener
And I kind of fell into this pit of anxiety and depression and could barely get out of bed for a long time. And, you know, one of the things that will help you believe that what you're doing is important is, you know, we got in the top 10 best sex podcasts from Esquire magazine, and that felt really good. And we got in the top 10 for Uproxx, and that felt great. And somehow I'm not even sure how this happened. I was on tour and somebody recently contacted me and told me that we had gotten number one best sex podcast from Marie Claire magazine. And it happened six months ago, and somehow I never knew. And all those things make you start pulling yourself out of your hole and going, well, maybe I'm not that bad at this. Maybe I can do this. And the thing that's making the most difference, really, is the testimonials and the reviews you guys are giving me on itunes. Because knowing that this is important really, really makes a difference. Makes a difference to me. I don't know about the world. It really really affects me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. And the emails you guys have been sending me telling me that, not berating me for stopping. Instead, you're going, it looks like you're taking a break. Just want to say, if it's over, thank you for the stories that you've brought into my life. And knowing that a place like Bodi exists, where people accept each other for who they are has changed my life. That was a direct comment somebody made, and that made me go, alright, if story. If storytelling is your life and your passion, then you need to pick yourself up and get back to this. Because podcasting means that y' all can have these stories all over the world. You know, you've been sending me your own stories from all over the world, and I get to know what's going on with you, and I love that. So I just wanted to say I apologize. I want to thank you for your patience and I'm gonna do my damnedest to keep it coming. My podcast producer and I have parted ways. I'm gonna start working with a new podcast producer and I'm gonna be back on track. And that's gonna happen. I promise that's gonna happen. One thing I would like to ask from you is I would like for you to let me know what you'd like more of or what you don't particularly love about the Body Storytelling podcast. Because I want to get better at this. I'm not convinced I'm great yet. And if you can tell me the parts that work for you or the parts that aren't that important or. Or if you have brilliant ideas, I'd love to have access to your brilliant ideas. I'm Dixie@bodystorytelling.com. send me an email and those reviews on itunes, those. Those really help. So thank you for everything.
- [06:09]
Dixie Delator
So the music in the story from this episode is from our Seattle Body Storytelling. We had trouble with the Acoustics on our venue up there, the rebar. Seattle, for a long time.
- [06:22]
Co-host/Listener
But recently I met what I like.
- [06:25]
Dixie Delator
To call the Mormon podcast brothers. And they came in, they've been figuring out the soundboard, they've been figuring out the acoustics, and they've been doing a great job of recording the great stories we're getting up there. This story is from Ron Bryan. Ron Bryan was new to storytelling. I think our stage was one of the first he's been on and was introduced to him by Jeffrey Robert, who does a show called the Gay Uncle Time up in Seattle. And when I asked him who I should put on stage, he said, ron is new to this, but he is gonna take to it like you're not gonna believe. And, boy, was Jeffrey Wright. Ron got on our stage and they were on their feet, giving him a standing ovation before he was even winding down from his story. This story is from Ron Bryan.
- [07:31]
Ron Bryan
Hi. All right. It was a Thursday afternoon. It was a beautiful summer day, sunny and bright. But I was sitting in pitch darkness in my favorite seat in the Mecca Theater in downtown Tacoma. It was a venerable old legitimate cinema at one point, which had converted into a porn theater at some point. And there I was, my favorite seat. And I'd been in my seat 30 or 40 minutes, and I hadn't sucked a single dick yet. I knew there were people there. I knew there were people there, the usual types that all looked like Republican senators. And I knew they were there because I could hear them shuffling around in the dark. And every now and then, I could hear the. The muffled sound of an orgasm coming from somewhere out there in the darkness. But no dick for me yet. I have my eye on this guy. He's walking around. He'll go down one aisle and across the front, and he'll come up the other aisle. He looks kind of tall and lanky. Ooh, kind of like him. Can't see much of him. He's wearing sweatpants. It's either jogging shorts or sweatpants. Those are the costumes to wear to the porn theater. He's wearing sweatpants. He's got a hoodie pulled over low. And I think I'm going to give him the wink and the nod when he comes up my aisle. So after a while, here he comes. And there's this little cat and mouse game you play, these little signals, either rejection or acceptance of your offer. And he comes up the aisle, and I give him the. How's it going? And he stops, leans against the wall, opposite side of the aisle. And I thought all right, so I'm making that eye contact. That's the secret. Am I going to get the signal? And we do the nod. And he pulls back his hood. And it was Drake. Well, not the real Drake, but, you know, Drake the rapper. This gorgeous man, this square jaw, this beautiful fade haircut, and a really fine jawline, whiskers, you know. I said, please, please, please, please. Yes, please. So we did the little cat and mouse thing, and eventually he kind of sidled over and I reached over and touched the front of his pants. He was half hard, and he said, let's do it. So pulled down his pants and this dick flops out. It's as thick as. As black as night and silky. Has his wicked downward curve. And I'm all over it. A few strokes and he gets hard and I take it in. He moans. He does the little, you know, that sound. And he takes a couple steps and he lines up square in front of me. His hands are on the back of my head and I love it. Beautiful dick. Handsome guy. Perfect. I love this theater. I'm enjoying it. And at one point, I hear him kind of. And his knees quiver a little bit. Then he pulls his dick out of my mouth and steps back, okay. And he gives it back to me. And as he gives it back to me, he turns to the left and says, yo, come check this out. And this guy gets up, walks over, opens his pants. Now I have two dicks in front of me, dick to dick, dick to dick. And eventually a third guy and then a fourth guy comes over and joins us. And you know, a big boy loves a buffet. I was. I was going from dick to dick like a bumblebee in a cock garden. And after a while, my beard and my shirt were soaked with some real sweet nectar. I do indeed love sucking cock. And I'm good at it. I come by it naturally. It's genetic. You can talk to my mom and she'll tell you herself how much she loves sucking dick. So I come by it naturally. That night in the Mecca wasn't my first night at such a theater. My first night came at the invite of a friend of mine, my friend Nelson. He's a campy old queen, old style queer, and we called him Aunt Nellie. I'm visiting Aunt Nellie, who looks like the butler from that show. Mr. Belvedere, looks ultra groomed, black turtleneck, tweed jacket. And I was complaining, aunt Nellie, I haven't had sex in so long, I can't find any dick. And he says, well, honey, I know what you need. To do. I'm gonna take you someplace special. So we got in his car, we went to a theater, and that was the first time I went to a theater like this. They all have the same smell. They smell like bleach, ass and cum. That's the smell in these theaters. So we go in there and he says, now go over there and have a seat and enjoy yourself. So I couldn't enjoy myself. I was a little intimidated, I was a little scared. I didn't know how you do this, how do you approach somebody? But I observed and I was intrigued. And as soon as I could, I went back alone. And I went back and I went back and I went back and eventually I knew every single porn theater, smut shop and glory hole between Everett, Washington, down the I5 corridor to Portland, Oregon. So they weren't always the fun banquet like at the Mecca Theater. One time I was at really the sleaziest spot here in Seattle, Hollywood Video in Lake City. Upstairs is just your traditional smut shop with magazines and videos and sex toys. But downstairs where the action happens, there's three or four rooms and they're dank and they're stinky and they play videos that were recorded 30 years ago on 40 year old televisions. Really seedy. And I was down there, and again, it's the cat and mouse game. There's one room that shows gay porn, one that shows straight porn, one that's got some Brazilian transsexual stuff going on. And I make my way to one of the rooms and here's this guy, looks like he just came from the gym. Massive pecs, big arms. He's sitting there all spraddle legged. Man spread. Yes, yes, please. I love this one. And needless to say, these places don't spend a lot on their furniture. In this place happened to have those cast resin chairs. So I go to sit next to him and I'm working to make the eye contact and I sit down and that goddamn chair gives out straight to the ground. I land on my ass with such force that one of the legs flies off and hits the wall. And Mr. Muscle does this kind of thing. And he was up and out of there. Yeah. So I picked up my bruised ego and walked out. There was no dick that night. But there's been plenty of fun times. Portland, Oregon used to have a couple of fun spots. My favorite was the Oregonian Theater. I think it's still there in the Hawthorne district. And I would wander in there every now and then. So I was in there one time doing the game. And I look over and here's this fellow. He's pretty much naked. He's got his pants pushed down to his ankles, his shirt lifted up over his chest, and he looks like a suburban daddy. He's young, curly, dirty blond hair, and he's completely reclined in his chair, jacking off. Now I'm going to go see how I do it with this guy. So I go over there, and there isn't a acceptance or rejection signal. So I sit down next to him. He removes his hand, thus exposing everything. That's my cue. Hop on that thing. So I get on my knees. I'm in front of this guy, and I'm looking up his torso. He has that blonde body hair on, tan skin, you know, it's beautiful. I'm looking up his torso, looking at his face, when all of a sudden, boop up from behind him in the seat. Behind him pops this other fellow. And he looks like. He looks like, oh, what's his name from the Poseidon Adventure, you know. Say it again. Borgnine. Yes, Ernie Borgnine looks like Ernest Borgnine. Five days of silver stubble and a. A truck driver hat. So he gets up there. I'm sucking this guy's dick, and I'm looking up his torso at Ernie Borgdine looking down at me. He's got his elbows on the chair and his chin like this, and he starts up this running commentary. Are you sucking that dick? Do you like sucking that dick? And I'm not shy. I've sucked so many dicks in front of so many people, I just keep going. He keeps it up, of course. I love it. He keeps up this running documentary, and he says, oh, to me, that's prettier than the sunset suburban daddy boy. Suburban daddy boy seems to be passed out or not otherwise concerned with what's going on. And I started laughing. You ever laughed with a dick in your mouth? So I'm enjoying this. I'm gonna keep going because this is a hot man and a good cock. I'm sucking his dick, and Ernie Borgnine says, if there's one thing I love to see, it's a master at work. And you, sir, are a master. That's. You, sir, are a master. I think my mother would be proud. Thank you very much.
- [19:16]
Performer/Poet
Five bucks. Cause they're gonna peg with a dildo as big as a leg jumping in the ass, let out the gas, give a reach around, make him come too fast. You're gonna suck that talk if your job don't walk. But if it does, I'm Expecting one extra buck? You're gonna make him cry when you say K bye. And you better say you're gay when.
- [19:30]
Dixie Delator
He asks you why.
- [19:32]
Performer/Poet
Five bucks says you'll get too attached. Come back and freak that. Claim him on TurboTac. Not gonna happen.
- [19:39]
Dixie Delator
Never happen to me.
- [19:40]
Performer/Poet
I don't think you're being wise. Think you're making up these lies and you're betting five? I'm not taking it light. I'll raise it right. 10 bucks to make a weird sound. Make a we.
- [19:54]
Dixie Delator
All right, y', all, let's talk about live body storytelling shows, because the podcast is great, but it is nothing compared to a live show. You can listen to stories and watch them be told right there in front of your eyes. You can hold hands with the person next to you and go, oh, my God, that was so moving. If they want to hold your hand, you can play Bango. And you can walk up and ask them really inappropriate questions. Any of the hundreds of people who are at the show, and they can ask you, too. I write the bingo cards myself, so I can tell you these questions are pretty fucking inappropriate. But it's so much fun. And the questions lead to stories. So before you know it, it's not just the stories on stage. You're getting to hear stories from the people right there in the room with you. Next thing you know, they're inviting you to an orgy.
- [20:42]
Co-host/Listener
So there you go.
- [20:43]
Dixie Delator
Our next show is going to be on Thursday, June 7th. It's in Seattle at the Rebar. And the theme is. Didn't see it. It's got some great stories in it, y'.
- [20:52]
Co-host/Listener
All.
- [20:52]
Dixie Delator
We've got music, we've got stories, we've got Bango, we've got community in Seattle. So come out to a live show and meet perverts just like you. Right after that, on June 21st, we'll be in San Francisco with Jackpot. Great story. Still got one spot left. So if you pitch me soon, you could be part of that show. Pitch me@dixie bodystorytelling.com in Seattle on July 12th. The theme is where the Wild Things Are. So what are you thinking for that? Camping? Burning Man? Sex in nature? There's a lot of places wild.
- [21:28]
Co-host/Listener
Just go wild.
- [21:30]
Dixie Delator
Send me a story. There's some spots left. And then on July 19th in San Francisco, brand new theme. Haven't tried this one before. The theme is Transformed. Oh, my God. What could we do with that? I've got my own ideas, but I really want to know what you're thinking. So if you want to be part of that show. I want you to turn on the voice memo on your phone and I want you to record, record a story for me, attach it to an email and send it to Dixie bodystorytelling.com I will pick a number of storytellers, coach them, get you ready to rock the stage. So we need to start soon. Get on it as soon as you can. And right after that, I'm going to be in Philadelphia. So far, no luck finding a venue in Philadelphia, but there's a chance that since I'm coming into town for podcast movement because podcasting is something I should be doing, you guys have been sending me emails for so long that I realized this is what I need to be doing. And I'm going to podcast movement to get inspired and to learn how to do this better than I do. If you're there, please contact me and let's have a coffee or a cocktail and geek out on podcasting, because you must like it. You're listening to one right now. There is a chance there will be a show in the Philadelphia area while I'm there if it comes together. So go to bodystorytelling.com for tickets to any of the shows that I just mentioned and be on the lookout for a Philadelphia show. I got my fingers and toes and titties crossed that we can pull it together. It's time to say thank you. Thank you to podcast producer Marty Garcia, to sound engineer David Grossoff, to the person who runs our on demand, Reuben Tan, to video producer Joe Moore. Joe runs our YouTube channel, and you can find videos@YouTube.com bodystorytelling and this episode's performers. Ron, Bryan, thank you for your story and Creature Hole. Thank you for the perfect music for body storytelling. And if you liked this episode, send me an email@dixie bodystorytelling.com knowing that there are people out there listening makes a huge difference. And I like knowing what you think. I like knowing what you like and.
- [23:51]
Co-host/Listener
Don'T like about the episode.
- [23:53]
Dixie Delator
And I should tell you that this summer I'm going to be in the Philadelphia area in July, and I'm thinking.
- [24:02]
Co-host/Listener
Philadelphia and Pittsburgh maybe.
- [24:04]
Dixie Delator
And I'm also going to be in New York in September because I'm going back to Camp John Waters, so might as well do some shows while I'm out there, right? So if you're interested in that, go to our website, bawdistorytelling.com go to slash, subscribe and subscribe to our newsletter so that you know when we're on tour and that way I get to meet you in person. I am sexual folklorist Dixie de la Tour. Thank you so much for listening. And more soon, I promise.
- [24:36]
Performer/Poet
I'm counting out my chains. There's a lot riding on this game. Should we flip a dime? We don't have much time to scout. You're out. If you make him shout one pout. No doubt. In the ass and out the mouth. Use 6. 9. Me greater than or equal 3. One more. That's 4. 5 bucks, cuz you're going to scoop the door. 5 bucks says you're gonna buy. Says you're gonna fuck him tonight. Thanks.
- [25:27]
Ron Bryan
I was going from dick to dick like a bumblebee in a cock garden. And after a while, my beard and my shirt were soaked with some real sweet nectar. Sam.