Bawdy Storytelling Podcast

Episode 37: Love Isn’t Blind (Marco Salsiccia)
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Storyteller: Marco Salsiccia
Date: August 29, 2018

Episode Overview

In this episode, Marco Salsiccia takes the stage to share a deeply personal and transformational story about losing his vision—and finding himself, love, and sexual awakening in the process. Dixie De La Tour, the creator and host of Bawdy Storytelling, sets the scene, both honoring Marco’s bravery and illuminating the power of true, raw storytelling that forms the heart of the show. The episode explores sex, disability, loss, adaptation, and the radical possibilities discovered within non-monogamy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Intimacy and Safety

[01:42] – [04:28]:

• Dixie introduces Marco and shares their unique connection, forged through storytelling workshops and a dream she had about him being on stage.
• “[Marco] had been coming to my San Francisco show for a few years…The winner of Bango that night…he was blind and he had a handler with him…After that, we became friends on Facebook. And one night I had a dream…you were on my stage…Let’s find your story.” (Dixie, 01:42–03:40)

2. Marco’s Life Before Blindness

[04:28] – [06:10]:

• 2013 was a breakthrough year for Marco: senior animator, vibrant social life, and a serious relationship with his girlfriend, Mindy.
• He describes himself as fairly well-rounded, passionate about work, gaming, art, and cooking.
• “‘I was also entering my second and a half year of dating my girlfriend at the time, Mindy…basically a diametric opposite to me…But we had hit it off.’” (Marco, 04:43)

3. The Onset of Blindness and Relationship Strain

[06:10] – [09:47]:

• Marco details a cascade of complicated eye surgeries leading to the eventual and sudden loss of his vision.
• Emotional strain builds as Mindy expresses disappointment, placing the burden of “getting better” on him.
• “‘All Mindy can tell me is that I have to get better for this to work….One of my last visual memories was talking to Mindy on the couch. I could just see her staring at me with an ultimate look of disappointment. But it wasn’t disappointment in the surgery or the doctors. It was disappointment in me for not having gotten better.’” (Marco, 07:40–08:43)
• After his complete loss of vision, Mindy leaves him, deepening his sense of isolation.

4. Rediscovering Himself and Navigating Online Dating

[09:47] – [13:00]:

• With the support of family and organizations for the blind, Marco starts rebuilding his independence, learning new technologies and skills.
• He tentatively returns to OkCupid, navigating profiles by ear and screen reader.
• Connects with Amy—her witty profile and tech-savvy nature catch his attention. She has experience with vision problems and responds warmly.
• “‘Her first message back was that that was the best message she’d ever seen on OkCupid.’” (Marco, 11:35)
• Amy is in an open relationship and introduces Marco to literature on non-monogamy (“Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino), opening new horizons.

5. First-Date Vulnerabilities and Sexual Awakening

[13:00] – [15:12]:

• Their first date is a revelation—Amy is supportive, guides him comfortably, and embraces his blindness without discomfort.
• Discussion of non-monogamy deepens their connection; Marco explores and embraces an identity he’d never previously named.
• Their chemistry peaks with a memorable moment:
  • “She turned to me and said, ‘Damn.’ I was like, ‘What?’ She said, ‘My cat’s where I want to be right now.’ So I picked the cat up, and she crawled onto my lap.” (Marco, 14:10)
• Marco discovers sensuality without sight, guided by touch, sound, and openness.
• “‘And I realized that you don’t really need eyes for this. I was able to feel every fold, every bit of hair, her thighs with my hands. I was able to feel her excitement through my tongue and through my mouth. I didn’t have to look up and see that she was enjoying herself. I could hear it. All of my senses were on fire and all that fear melted away.’” (Marco, 15:00)

6. Acceptance, Love, and Adaptation

[15:12] – [16:39]:

• Marco and Amy thrive in a committed, non-monogamous relationship, embracing open communication and adaptation as central to their love.
• “‘She’s really brought me around to not thinking. That’s been a burden. Not a burden. It’s just a way of life. And we adapt and we move forward. And it really took losing one of my most treasured senses to realize who I actually was.’” (Marco, 16:15)
• Ends with a note of hope:
  • “‘In the darkest of darks, there’s always a way forward. You just have to keep moving.’” (Marco, 16:31)

7. Dixie’s Reflection and the Power of Storytelling

[16:39] – [18:48]:

• Dixie shares the behind-the-scenes logistics and emotional weight of bringing Marco’s story to the stage.
• Highlights accommodations, accessibility, and ultimately, Marco receiving a standing ovation—a prophetic vision fulfilled.
• “I look toward the audience and I say, ‘Marco, stop. You’re getting a standing ovation.’ And that’s when I saw it. That look on his face I’d seen in my dream…all that applause just flood his body.” (Dixie, 17:45)
• Encourages listeners to honor their stories and trust their worth.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Marco (on his relationship’s breakdown):
  “It was disappointment in me for not having gotten better.” (08:43)
• Amy (on their first date):
  “‘My cat’s where I want to be right now.’” (14:10)
• Marco (on sex without sight):
  “I was able to feel her excitement through my tongue and through my mouth. I didn’t have to look up and see that she was enjoying herself. I could hear it. All of my senses were on fire…” (15:00)
• Marco (on acceptance):
  “It really took losing one of my most treasured senses to realize who I actually was.” (16:15)
• Dixie (reflecting on Marco’s ovation):
  “That look on his face I’d seen in my dream…all that applause just flood his body. Fucking crying right now, thinking about [it]...” (17:45)

Important Timestamps

• [01:42] Dixie introduces Marco’s backstory and her dream
• [04:28] Marco takes the stage, sharing his life before blindness
• [06:10] Vision loss and the unraveling of his relationship with Mindy
• [09:47] Learning adaptive skills and returning to online dating
• [11:35] Connecting with Amy, an open relationship, and emotional chemistry
• [13:00] Their first date and sexual experience without sight
• [16:15] Reflections on his relationship with Amy, self-acceptance, and hope
• [16:39] Dixie’s behind-the-scenes look at the performance and its significance

Tone & Language

The episode is honest, irreverent, open-hearted, and explicit—as is Bawdy’s trademark style. Marco narrates with warmth, comedy, and deep emotion; Dixie provides candid, enthusiastic insight as host and coach, reinforcing the importance of raw, real storytelling.

Conclusion

“Love Isn’t Blind” is a powerful testament to resilience, adaptation, and the profound possibilities that can emerge in the face of loss. Through Marco’s candid and moving story, the episode reaffirms the central Bawdy Storytelling ethos: everyone’s intimate experiences have value and telling your true story can be an act of both personal and communal transformation.