← Bawdy Storytelling
Bawdy Storytelling
Episode 40: ‘Sex, Drugs and the Rainbow Gathering’ (Luna Murray)
00:30:32
Luna leaves her Americorp job with teammates Alejandro and Jordana to enjoy Spring Break at the National Rainbow Gathering. A late night encounter in the glow of the bonfire with a Professor Trelawney lookalike / Alien visiting from Pleiades launches...
Loading summary
Transcript18 lines
- [00:10]
Dixie de La Tour
We're about to get filthy. All please remember this podcast is explicit. So if you look around, there's a nun talking to a Trump supporter. They don't want to hear this, but you do. So plug your headphones in really well. All good. Lets do it.
- [00:28]
Luna Murray
All of my life I've never fit But I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous. Get used to it. Everyone tells me I'm too much maybe it's just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm supposed to be? Hey, my vagina is eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just run and hide. My vagina is eight miles.
- [01:25]
Dixie de La Tour
Hey there and welcome to the Body Storytelling podcast. I'm Sexual Folklore Dixie de La Tour and this is episode 40. So I'm going to ask you to stop right now. Hit pause, go to patreon.com body b a w D Y and make a donation. Any amount you want. We're starting to get really good rewards that were given out to people. You guys get them first. I'd really like to see your name come into my email to tell me that you've decided that you want to support the Bodi storytelling podcast. Thanks so much. You know how we like to say body gets you laid?
- [02:06]
Luna Murray
Oh yeah.
- [02:07]
Dixie de La Tour
Well, our storyteller for this episode likes to say body got me paid. She had moved from the Bay Area to Seattle and she'd had jobs that ranged from professional fairy princess for children's parties to non profit director to the gig she ended up getting because of Body. Let me tell you about that gig. She had moved to Seattle with the promise of a job. She was really excited about this job. Everything was done. She was told she had the job and then something happened. She was very upset, so she came to bawdy storytelling. She ended up sitting on the front row next to our phenomenal timekeeper in Seattle, Princess Fancy Pants. Princess Fancy Pants, in addition to being kind hearted and beautiful and stacked and brilliant, runs a kinky B and B in Seattle. The name of the inn is enthrall. Our storyteller, Luna, and Princess Fancy Pants started talking. Luna told her she just lost out on her dream job. And Princess Fancy Pants said, well, I'm a kinky innkeeper and I could use some help. And so almost immediately, the two of them moved in together and they're making the world a kinkier place. Side by side. Body did that. I'm so proud. Our Storyteller for this episode is Luna Murray.
- [03:52]
Luna Murray
Yeah. Yeah. The crazy in her eyes was amplified by the fire glow against her ginormous pupils. She told me, close your eyes. Stick out your tongue. Uh huh. She put a tablet in my mouth. She gave me a little kiss and flitted away. I was 20 years old at the time, serving in a program called AmeriCorps. Anybody know what AmeriCorps is? Yeah, a few of you out there. I survived eight months. Anyway, the scholarship wasn't worth it, so I didn't really particularly get along with my teammates very much. I love the work, but I made two friends that I was very attracted to in very different ways. The first, lovely Jordana. She's like a young Joni Mitchell. She never wore a stitch of makeup. Had crazy curly, beautiful hair, and just something really sturdy and solid about her that was fucking sexy. And then there was Alejandro. Okay, imagine if you can, like, scrunch Antonio Banderas this way. Uh huh huh. Stocky, passionate, fiery, Colombian hot. Okay. So they came to my room one day and said, guess what we're doing for spring break now. We had a week off coming up. And so they informed me of a festival that was happening a few states away in Pennsylvania called the National Rainbow Gathering. Oh, some of you know. Yeah. Okay. So. So for all of you that don't know, it is just a massive, ridiculous group. Thousands of hippies converge on a national forest until they get kicked out, basically. It's so unorganized and fabulous. So I said, that sounds like a grand adventure. Off we went. So we arrive, and I didn't quite realize that there was an arduous mile and a half hike down to get into the festival with all of our gear and our packs. And so we're huffing along. We finally see the ginormous rainbow welcome home banner. And I thought, all right, I'm in for something. So the festival ensued. I had a phenomenal time. The first five days were full of drum circles in every fucking corner you could find one. You know, naked mud bath parties, sexy aerialists hanging in trees, dreadlock children running around. It was fabulous. So. So I definitely had some trepidation at first, but throughout the event, it kind of flowed. And I had a great time. But my story doesn't truly begin until the last day. So I wake up on the last day and I'm realizing I haven't gotten laid. This is lame. I mean, I've had grand frolicky fun, but I just have. So what the fuck? So that morning, I decided to Take matters into my own hands. I invited Jordana. I said, I think we're a little ripe. Let's go down to the river. So we saunter on down to the river and normally it's bustling and there's kids and it's crazy, but this is the last day and it was pretty mellow. So we found a little nice alcove in the riverbank. And I'm just so struck by her beauty. And I was like, yeah, it's fucking time, girl. So I lock eyes with her in the water and I wade over to her and I brushed a curl out of her face and she gave me that uh huh look and I kissed her. God, at the time I had only kissed three women and it still shocked me how soft their lips were or how different they are from men. Oh. So I just nibbled on her lip and her neck and her ginormous gorgeous breasts. Ugh. I had my way with her on the bank and she did wonderful things with her fingers. So fine time. We flitted away and had a wonderful adventure for the rest of the day. And then by the time the sun went down, it was time to kind of bring it back into camp, check in on my peeps. So I found Alejandro by a bonfire by our tent, engrossed in conversation with a very interesting looking woman. So I approached the scene and he immediately sees me, gives me these wide eyed look, this wide eyed look like, help me. And I, I see the woman he's interacting with now, truly imagine if you will, my Harry Potter nerds, Professor Trelawney, in her 20s, right? Like crazy, crazy hair and big glasses. And she was explaining to my friend Alejandro how she was actually an alien from Pleiades. And tonight was the night that they were going to beam her back up. And look at that star. It's actually not a star. That's my spaceship. And I can move it with my mind. Anyway, so as I sat down, Alejandro stood up promptly and said, well, I'm off to bed, but maybe Luna would be interested in your gift. It all works out, don't worry. So she immediately turns to me, she says, would you like to come along? It only takes a token. And she pulls out an Altoids tin. Now, thank God, before Alejandro left, he whispered in my ear, it's acid. Like a lot of acid. And thank God, because I was 20 and I had no idea about anything. I was this lovely little sheltered thing and trying to save the world. So I'm like, well, I've been open to that. And it hasn't happened yet. Yet. So, okay. So I realized, guys, how fucking stupid this was. Please keep in mind I was 20 and I knew nothing. But when she said, close your eyes and open your mouth, I went, ah. She kissed me and flitted away. So now I'm at this bonfire and there's a lovely drumbeat that's going on. There's some lovely hippie people. And I'm thinking, okay, I'm about to do a thing, but I don't know shit, right? So I wait like 30 minutes. I wait 45 minutes, and nothing seems to be happening. So, gosh, I guess it's a dud, so I'll just go to bed. And then I stood up and whoo. The world went a little sideways and the trees got really exciting, and I just wanted to go up and hug it. But wait, there's a fire. Oh, the fire is really wonderful. Oh, yes. I like to move by the. And there's a drum.
- [10:41]
Jefferson Berge
Yeah.
- [10:42]
Luna Murray
Beating my jam right there. Uh huh. Oh, these clothes. What the are these clothes still doing on my body? Get them off. And then, of course, as the clothes came off, I'm like, fuck, I'm horny as shit. So I made a beeline to my tent. I found Alejandro sleeping. I found him sleeping, and I decided to just nuzzle him a little bit. And I kind of niddled his ear a little bit. And then I got a whiff of his campfire. Colombian sexy man stank. And at that moment, everything really hit. And all of a sudden, I could feel my pulse in my eyeballs. And the tent was like. The tent was encouraging me for all the sexiness that I wanted to have. And I could, like, feel all the other hippies. They wanted me to have all the sexy goodness. And I was like, yeah, it's happening. So I rode him for hours, and I had rainbow orgasms all over the tent. Very sparkly, very exciting. But after a couple of hours. But after a couple of hours, I wore him out. He literally pushed me off of him and passed out. But my night was not over. It was time for more adventure. So outside the tent, I go. Ooh. Into the forest. I go frolicking. Frolicking. And fairies. Oh, the fairies. There's another barn. Yes. I like the bonfire. Okay, get naked again. Dancy. Dancy in the bonfire. Mmm. So nice. And then across the bonfire, I see a flash of coattails and a top hat and piercing blue eyes. And all of a sudden, I am entranced by the Mad Hatter across the way. And then he Nudges someone next to him. And I noticed a very sexy Carrot Top sitting right next to it. Now you know the Carrot Top crate. Like awkward character. Take out like all the awkward and put in all the sexy. Like what a pair I had stumbled onto. So I shimmy, shimmy, shimmy over that direction and I start picking up a conversation and we flirty, flirty, flirty by the fire. And then all of a sudden it's been nighttime for a long time. There's like things are getting lighter and it was so disorienting and I thought, are they turning on floodlights somewhere? I'm really confused. No, the fucking sun is coming up. Holy shit. The night flew by so they very smartly invited me to breakfast. So we frolic through the forest, we make out through the trees. We have a lovely stroll over the to their camp. And there was this wonderful hammock and I got in it with the Carrot Top creature and we're all strokey, strokey and. Exactly. And then the Mad Hatter comes over with a strawberry. That was like the best fucking strawberry of my life. You know, like that, like you could feel the electricity from the red of it. Oh God. So we meander over to the tent. And the thing about these things, so they're both European, don't remember exactly how it goes, but they were so sweet with each other. There was like this really heart centered bromance that was going on. It wasn't that they were like sexually attracted to each other, but they were just so happy to be focused on me and that suited me just fine and like be in the same vicinity as each other. I was like woohoo. So everything ensued and it was lovely. But the moment the Mad Hatter's pants dropped, that's when the real magic began. Okay, let me just tell you about this cock. First of all, at the time it was like the biggest cock I had seen at the time. It was like 8 inches and plenty thick and delicious. But at the base of his cock it was like unnervingly pale. And then the midsection of his cock was really, really dark. And then the tip was the pinkest tip I have ever seen. It wasn't the drugs, I swear. And I couldn't help but yell out neapolitan. And I sucked that ice cream down like it was my last meal on earth. Carrot Top climbed behind me. I was Eiffel towered and skewered every single which way in this tent. Oh my God. Rainbow orgasm. Like cannons going off in my brain with sparkles and unicorns. And it was so intense. So, yeah, quite a wonderful first mmf three way. So I wore them out. They passed out. I was still going. So I charged back out into the forest, and I'm like, oh, fuck. It's the last day. I should probably meet up with my peeps that are packed up and, like, waiting for me to go home. Fuck. So I go back to my camp. They had the most amazing bowl of oatmeal for me ever. It was a thing. Don't worry about it. And then it was time to hike back up the crazy, arduous hill. Getting out of the thing, and I was like the Energizer bunny. I was on all the things, including endorphins and oxytocin. And just right up the mountain, and I realized that our car had been towed. So as soon as the. As soon as I got the crew together, we figured out, okay, I'm gonna hitch a ride into town. I'll call the situation, we'll figure out the car situation. So I hitch a ride. The ride down there was uneventful, but the ride back. This is a tiny little town in Pennsylvania, right? So imagine, like, townies, like, you know, marching through and seeing, like, fabulous rainbow, crazy hippie people overtaking their town. And, like, I'm going this way, I'm going this way. I'm going back to the festival. So I joined a line of going back to the festival. I piled in a van of people, and I was still. Everything was still very sparkly, including this woman in front of me. Oh, my God. You guys. You guys. Imagine isis. Like isis, right? What does that evoke? Like, the most gorgeous olive skin, piercing eyes. She was wearing all white and had this white thing around her head. Oh, my God. I felt like. I've never felt so magnetic to a person in my life. I was pulled to my knees in front of her. I looked up into her face and said, may I kiss you? And she said, yes. I kissed the sweetest, most sumptuous lips. Gave me a lisp. And then, of course, I don't know what's going on in the car around me, but I got down to her skirt and I hike up her skirt around her waist, and I dove into the sweetest, juiciest pussy I have ever tasted. It gets better. I couldn't help but come up for air and go, it tastes like honeydew. To which she announced to the car that she was a fruitarian. So that makes sense. Like, fucking, of course. So I finally get back to my peeps we finally figure out the car situation. It took hours and hours and hours and I'm, I'm finally starting to like feel the grind of my body coming off of what I found out to be later. Five hits of acid. So. So we fight, right My first time ever. Talk about heroic. So. So we finally all collect. I got home, I had a total. Been up for 56 hours of this adventure. I drove the last hundred miles home. I had probably walked about 20 miles. Oh my God, I had fucked five people. And when I got home, I slept for three days. So I woke up from, I woke up from my three day nap and I just was like, what the fuck just happened? And you know, looking back on the Rainbow gathering, there's really something quite magical about thousands of people coming together for a collective intention to fucking love each other ultimately at the end of the day and to fucking like support each other in the needs, in their needs. And every need is met there. There's something magical about that collective intention. When you want to find somebody around the corner and they're there, you want to, you're starving. They hand you a plate of the most amazing oatmeal you've ever had. There was something that just blew me wide open in that space and I found true magic. Or maybe it was the drugs, I don't know. So what do you do? I enjoy skinny ski. You both fight sun acid.
- [20:31]
Dixie de La Tour
Did you know that I'm available for story coaching? You know that story you want to work on, but it's way too dirty to contact anybody else. Well, I can handle it. Whatever you throw at me, I'm pretty good with that and I'm a really good story coach. So if you'd like to work on a story, I'm available. So book me. I'm Dixie@bodystorytelling.com. let's figure it out. How about a little music to soothe the savage breast? I am so lucky that I have people who write fucked up songs for me. And here's one now. A couple of months ago we had Jefferson Berge on our stage and he always writes new songs for our show. Sometimes multiple. Sometimes all the songs are brand new just for the episode because he gets so inspired by the theme and this song is one he wrote. The theme was not called this, but the name of the song is when it comes to Coming, the song is by Jefferson Berge.
- [22:05]
Jefferson Berge
Jackpot. Kind of think that every time you masturbate, it's kind of like a little lone jackpot for yourself, right? Right. I've already Offended her, She's already out of here. There you go. That's your little jackpot. So when it comes to coming.
- [22:32]
Luna Murray
It.
- [22:32]
Jefferson Berge
All comes down to this. I can do it by myself. I'm a specialist. Cause there's never needed much just to do the deed. Cause there's really not that much that I really need. I just need a little spit and my dominant hand. That's all I really need to get off. At least it used to be that guy. Hmm. When it comes to coming, I've come to understand it's gonna take more than just my hand. Now I don't need much just to do the deed. But there's really not that much that I really need. Just need the highest speed of Internet and a wifi password. I can't forget my dominant hand. A little spit and that's all I really need to get off. You see where this is going? When it comes to coming, My will is getting stronger to do me. My to do list is getting so much longer Now I don't need much just to do the deed. But there's really not that much that I really need. I just need a phone sex operator Saying something that's humiliating. Highest speed of Internet with a wi fi password. I can't forget my dominant hand. A little spit and that's all I really need to get off. It's not enough when it comes to coming I have realized that I have become desensitized Now I needed much more to do the deed. But there's really not that much that I really need. I just need a What do I need? I just need this week's favorite nudie mag. A unicorn butt plug. A rubber ball gag. A belt to cut off all my air. A pair of women's underwear foam sex somber saying something that's humiliating. Highest speed of Internet and I wipe my password I can't forget.
- [25:03]
Luna Murray
A little.
- [25:04]
Jefferson Berge
My dominant hand A little spin and that's all I really need to get off.
- [25:10]
Luna Murray
It's not enough.
- [25:18]
Jefferson Berge
When it comes to coming. I've become fiend craving that next spike in dopamine. Now I don't need much just to do the diva. There's really not that much that I really need. I just need that robot I bought on Amazon. A glass coffee table I can defecate upon. A Hitachi touching on my taint. A cam girl dipped in body paint. This week's favorite nudie mag with a unicorn butt plugin. Rubber ball gag. A Jefferson Bergie come for me rag. Oh, wait, I have one of those. There's more at the merch station. Where was I? Oh, a phone sex operator saying something that's humiliating. Highest speed of Internet in a virtual reality helmet. Five full tubes of loo. Four calling birds, three French hens. What the fuck's a turtle dove? My dominance hand. A little spirit and that's all I need to get off and lots of time.
- [27:02]
Dixie de La Tour
So it seems like you're enjoying the stories on this podcast. Will Imagine an evening where you go out and you look around and you're surrounded by perverts just like you. No matter where you are, we're going to be right here telling the most transformational, vulnerable, relatable, beautiful stories about buttholes that you're ever going to hear in your lifetime. Here's the upcoming shows for body storytelling on September 20th. Hey, that's tomorrow night. The theme is Metamorphosis in San Francisco. That's at the Verdi Club, and it's going to be a really good show. The stories in this one, wow. On September 27, the theme is Pax a Wallop in Seattle. I just completed the lineup on that one. Been coaching people and there's nothing like the rebar. It's a smaller club. It's one of the oldest gay bars in Seattle. The drinks are pretty strong, so I warn you. And there's always Bango to get your party started. On October 18th. The theme in San Francisco is Never say never. Never done that one before. Very excited to hear the rest of the stories that I have on the pile. So I usually pile them up and listen to them all at the same time so that I can get a feel for a show, you know, and put it together in my head. And so far it's looking really good. And on October 25th, the theme is Wicked. Just a few days before Halloween in Seattle. So you're gonna wear your costume, maybe you're gonna pitch me a story. And if you want to do that, my email address is Dixie bodystorytelling.com youm can get tickets to any of these shows@bodystorytelling.com you know how to spell body because you found us on the podcast. And if you're wondering where we're coming soon, I can tell you I just booked a show in New York later on this year. So stay tuned for details on that, but I will be on the other coast sometime soon. Till then, come to me. Tell your boss you need some time off. Hey, this episode came out pretty good, didn't it? Let's thank the people who made it possible to Jo Moore our archivist and video person. If you haven't checked out Body Storytelling's YouTube channel, it's got a lot of stories you may not have seen or heard yet. To Dana Hanna, my project manager who's helping me get my ducks in a row, To David Grossoff, my sound engineer who records at the live Body Storytelling shows, To Marty Garcia, my podcast producer, I'm so grateful that he's helping me put these stories out where you can get them. And speaking of you getting them, thank you to you. You took the time to listen. Thank you for subscribing writing us itunes reviews. Thanks for telling all your pervy friends about the Body Storytelling podcast and we'll keep it coming. Coming. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie Delator. You've been listening to the Body Storytelling podcast. Here's a peek at what's next.
- [30:21]
Jefferson Berge
And I just got kind of angry and I just yell, will you come already? And that did it for him.