Bawdy Storytelling Episode 46: “Yucatan Triangle” (Gretchen Shanks)

Podcast: Bawdy Storytelling
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Storyteller: Gretchen Shanks
Release Date: October 31, 2018

Episode Overview

This episode features Gretchen Shanks’ deeply personal, sex-positive journey of sexual awakening and transformation, delivered on stage for Bawdy Storytelling. Gretchen shares her vulnerable and at times hilarious story of moving from sexual frustration and self-doubt to sexual exploration, joy, and empowerment – starting with an unexpected experience in Tulum, Mexico, and leading to adventures in sex parties, BDSM, and profound self-discovery.

Main Story: Gretchen Shanks’ “Yucatan Triangle”

[04:12] A Sexual Encounter in Tulum

• Gretchen sets the stage: She’s 43, newly single, on a self-reinvention vacation in Tulum after burnout and a long, sexless stretch.

• Scene: Gretchen is naked in bed with her kayaking guide, a “short, swarthy Mayan man.” He starts massaging her, surprisingly moves to rimming her (“He’s licking my ass!”), and they proceed to have sex.

• Her internal dialogue is split between enjoying the experience and feeling disconnected:

  • “I’m so embarrassed. My brain just keeps going back and forth – focus on the pleasure. I’m not going to come.” [06:18]

• She observes a recurring pattern: In her limited sexual history (five encounters in her life), she’s never been able to orgasm with a partner.

  • Notable Quote:

    “This is the story of all my sexual encounters. Never come with someone else. Don’t know how to be responsive. And at this point, I just feel broken and defective.”
    — Gretchen Shanks [07:21]

[07:21] Realization and Resolve

• The emotional fallout: Gretchen returns to her hotel, breaks down in tears, and realizes she can no longer ignore this pain point in her life.
• She is determined to change— “[Am I] gonna live the rest of my life like this, or... finally fucking do something?” [08:52]

[09:08] Research and Seeking Help

• As a self-described “research geek,” she searches the internet for “female failure to orgasm,” reading everything to find solutions.
• Discovers a world of sex therapy options: sex therapists, sexual surrogacy, sexological bodywork, tantra, and more.
• Back home in Seattle, after careful vetting (and spreadsheeting), she finds a multi-disciplinary practitioner who guides her through months of sexual healing.
  • “I worked with him for four and a half, almost five really intense months. And it is so good… now I feel way more comfortable in my body. I’m much more comfortable with sex and dating.” [11:42]

[12:30] Sexual Exploration Begins

• Newly empowered, Gretchen begins exploring her sexuality:
  • Dates a couple and discovers threesomes.
  • Attends an all-female sex party in San Francisco: “A little intimidating, a little challenging, but so hot. I just love the sight of a lot of naked ladies getting sexy together.” [12:57]
  • Engages a BDSM coach, exploring submission and bondage for the first time.

[13:34] Public Play and Sexual Triumph

• At a pre-Pride BDSM party, Gretchen is publicly pleasured on a medical exam table by a “delicious man, who’s kind of a cross between Vin Diesel and Truman Capote.” [15:12]

• She describes the physical sensations, the toys used, and the increasing intensity:

  • “He’s talking dirty to me the whole time, telling me what he sees as he watches me on the table writhing and moaning…” [16:32]

• The cathartic climax:

  • “It’s so amazing that it happens. My back arches off the table as this orgasm that just feels huge to me comes through… Not only had I had this orgasm with this person, but there were like 30 other people in the room at the same time.” [16:48]

[18:32] Transformation and Self-Love

• Gretchen closes her story radiating self-acceptance and joy:
  • “I’m 45 now. I go to sex parties, I date a ton, and I finally know that I am totally worthy of all of the pleasure and sex that I want for myself. I know I’m beautiful and desirable… It took fucking forever to figure it out. But you know what? Doesn’t matter, because I know it now.” [18:50]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On feeling broken:
  “Never come with someone else. Don’t know how to be responsive… I just feel broken and defective.”
  — Gretchen [07:21]

• On sexual healing:
  “I worked with him for four and a half, almost five really intense months. Now I feel way more comfortable in my body.” — Gretchen [11:42]

• On sex parties:
  “It was a little intimidating, a little challenging, but so hot. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I just love the sight of a lot of naked ladies getting sexy together.”
  — Gretchen [12:57]

• On her public orgasm:
  “My back arches off the table as this orgasm that just feels huge to me comes through… Not only had I had this orgasm with this person here, but there were like 30 other people in the room!”
  — Gretchen [16:48]

• Self-acceptance:
  “I finally know that I am totally worthy of all of the pleasure and sex that I want for myself. I know I’m beautiful and desirable.”
  — Gretchen [18:50]

Important Timestamps

• 04:12 – Gretchen’s story begins: Tulum encounter and sexual frustrations.
• 07:21 – Realization of lifelong sexual struggle.
• 09:08 – Research and decision to seek professional help.
• 12:30 – Outlining her sexual explorations and growth.
• 13:34 – BDSM and public sexual experiences.
• 16:48 – Culmination: First partnered orgasm in public.
• 18:50 – Gretchen’s conclusion and message of self-worth.

Episode Tone & Style

Gretchen’s storytelling is candid, humorous, and unflinchingly honest. She mixes self-deprecation with positivity, taking listeners through vulnerability, shame, curiosity, pleasure, and eventual triumph. Dixie’s hosting frames Gretchen’s journey as brave and inspirational, while the Bawdy Storytelling environment embraces radical honesty, consent, and celebration of sexual exploration.

Closing Thoughts

This episode is a celebration of owning one’s sexual narrative and healing from shame and self-doubt. Gretchen’s story offers hope, guidance, and inspiration for anyone seeking more joy and wholeness in their sexual lives. The audience’s enthusiastic response (standing ovation) mirrors the impact her vulnerability and transformation has on listeners.

For further information about live shows, music, and future episodes, see Bawdy Storytelling’s website or social channels.