Dixie Delator (7:20)

Pleasure.

Gretchen Shanks (7:21)

I'm not going to come. And then it hits me. This is the story of all of my sexual encounters. Never come with someone else. Don't know how to be responsive. And at this point, I just feel broken and defective. Thank you. Thanks so it's the next morning and I go back to my hotel, drop my stuff down, sit on the couch, and I cry. Obviously I cry. I don't even know how long. It just comes. All the feelings, all the feelings, you see, because even though I had so little experience, I'd never really put it together that that's what they had, all that, it had always been like. I'm overwhelmed by the emotion, but I also know that I have to do something about it and I have to do something now. Like, I mean, I'm live the rest of my life like this. Or I'm going to use this time when I'm not working, stressed out 50 to 60 hours a week in the office, gone half the year to finally fucking do something.

Dixie Delator (9:06)

What the fuck?

Gretchen Shanks (9:08)

Because I've been in talk therapy for years, clearly not working on this point. And start to breathe again. Tears slow down and I think, research. I'm a research geek at heart. In fact, if I'd brought my laptop with me, I probably would have been making a spreadsheet at this point. But I have a smartphone and wi fi and that's all I need, really. I mean, the spreadsheet will come later. So here I am in one of my favorite parts of the world, this gorgeous area of the Yucatan Peninsula. I should be on the beach, slathered in sunscreen, getting one last sunburn in before I go home. And instead I'm in my hotel room just stabbing away at my phone and I'm searching female failure to orgasm. And I mean, I read, I follow article after article. I love cross links and references. So many pages open on my phone it might break at any moment. And I get another feeling right here that I need to do something that is more than just talk therapy. I'm a really smart person, and if intellect alone would have solved this, it would have already happened. So I start reading up on different approaches to dealing with sexual dysfunction. You know, there's actually a lot out there. I mean, I'm a former Catholic girl from Kentucky, so I didn't know most of this. I mean, my people don't even do talk therapy. So this was a whole new world for me. And I learned about. Of course there's talk therapy with specialist sex therapists, which I've never done. There's things like sexual surrogacy, sexological bodywork, tantric healing of all different sorts and flavors. And so I leave Tulum a little subdued, but resolved. Get back to Seattle, do a lot more research, interview some folks, and, oh, you've always got to interview the people because you never know, you know, with the questions and the spreadsheet. And you think I'm joking, but I'm not. No. And I find this amazing practitioner who's kind of a grab bag of all the things. He does some surrogacy work, some body work. He's a tantra guy, you know, just all the stuff. Cause I got shit to deal with. And I worked with him for four and a half, almost five really intense months. And it is so good. I don't have a job at this point because it took everything I had. But it's pretty fucking amazing because now I feel way more comfortable in my body. I'm much more comfortable with sex and dating. And now I'm at the point where I kind of want to try all the things, all this stuff I've missed out on, and really to figure out what actually turns me on. So I start exploring. I date a couple for a while, and I learn. I really like threesomes. I take a solo trip to San Francisco to go to an all female sex party. My first ever sex party. It was a little intimidating, a little challenging, but so hot. I mean, I don't know about you, but I just love the sight of a lot of naked ladies getting sexy together.

Rachel Lark (13:30)

So.

Gretchen Shanks (13:34)

And I do some work with this fantastic BDSM coach. She's a former pro dom. And, you know, submission and bondage had featured in my fantasy life for so long, but I'd never tried any of it. And I wanted to figure out what I really liked and how to be safe with someone I trusted. And it was so opening for me that I started going to BDSM parties that she throws sometimes at her space enthrall and even. And even at her pre Pride parade party last summer, I played for the first time in the dungeon out there where anyone might see. So I'm on the medical exam table, and my leather miniskirt is hiked up to my hips. My legs are splayed in the stirrups, which are really handier than you would think. And this delicious man, who's kind of a cross between Vin Diesel and Truman Capote.

Rachel Lark (15:08)

Is.

Gretchen Shanks (15:12)

Between my legs playing with my pussy and ass. And, you know, he's using mostly his fingers, which are magic. And for a little while, this butt plug that has these rotating beads in the base, right? So they kind of roll around your outer sphincter as it's vibrating. It's kind of like the rabbit vibe, but way better, in my opinion. When you Just really try it. And I mean, honestly, it's like this man is or virtuoso and I'm his instrument that he's just playing for like I don't even know how long. I mean, and it's just fantastic. And all of this pleasure is building. And you know, I'm self conscious at first because I've been in public space. But eventually like just he's layering sensation after sensation and the pleasure is building and I forget where I'm at and I'm on this table. He's doing all of these unbelievable things to me. Stimulating my G spot through my anus. The clit is being played with. There's a lot of fun pressure with his fingers and hands and penetration. And he's talking dirty to me the whole time, like telling me what he sees as he watches me on the table writhing and moaning and what else he wants to do to me.

Dixie Delator (16:45)

Yeah.

Gretchen Shanks (16:48)

Exactly. Yeah. And it's so amazing that it happens. My back arches off the table as this orgasm that just feels huge to me comes through. And I'm moaning and I'm writhing and I just. I don't even know what else is going on. See, I'd spent years, so many years of my life being unresponsive and unable to express any pleasure, experience orgasms with someone else. And here I was, I just had the mother of all orgasms for me with while this man was between my legs pleasuring me. And not only had I had this orgasm with this person here, but there were like 30 other people in the room at the same time. So I'm 45 now. I go to sex parties, I date a ton. And I finally know that I am totally worthy of all of the pleasure and sex that I want for myself. I'm not good. Thank you. Thank you. And I know I'm beautiful and desirable. It took fucking forever to figure it out. But you know what? So doesn't matter because I know it now.

Dixie Delator (19:50)

Tingling, delicious, electrifying, sensational experiences of orgasmic bliss. Will you talk dirty to me? Have an orgasm.

Gretchen Shanks (20:12)

Female fantasies, guys.

Rachel Lark (20:21)

So then why are people having sex?

Dixie Delator (20:44)

I had somebody contact me recently to say that they were battling cancer and that their dream was to come to a live body storytelling and be in the room where we make this magic. I am so honored by that that you realize the live show is something unique and special. Then I'm going to tell you about upcoming live body storytellings on Friday, November 9th in San Francisco. The theme is Packs a wallop. Oh my God. This is going to be such a good show. It's on a Friday night. We're bringing out our weird games. In fact, I'm working on some new games and the lineup so far is looking stellar, so please be there. That one's in San Francisco. On Wednesday, November 14, I'm in New York in Brooklyn at the Bell House. Risk, the Podcast and Body Storytelling are doing a collaboration show and these are shows that sell out fast. So get your tickets as soon as possible and if you haven't booked your travel, book your travel because it is worth a trip to see Risk and Bodi together on December 6th in Seattle. The theme is the Naughty Beds still taking pitches. So you could be on stage in Seattle if you pitch me@dixieaudistorytelling.com December 13th back in San Francisco and the theme is Happy Endings. That will be our last show for the year. So that's four shows coming up where you could see Bodi live. That's three cities. So I hope to see you at a live show sometime soon. Be sure and come up and say hi face to face, will you? I love a good backstory, so I'm going to tell you a backstory about the song on this episode. So you've probably heard Rachel Lark here on the podcast. She has been our main music writer for years and years for Bodi, writing custom songs for my show. This song is from her very early days. She had just joined us at Body and this is when I was doing Body Slam, which is a story slam similar to Bodi, except put your name in the hat, you get to tell a five minute story. And the theme of this particular Body Slam was but we finished anyway. She performed this song. We sat there in stunned silence and then got on her feet and gave her a standing ovation. I mean, we knew she was talented, but wow. She decided to do a high budget video and she wanted to put the people in our community who were really boosting her signal and the people who inspired her. So she put in Polly Superstar, the founder of Kinky Salon. She put in Sister Flora, Good Time of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. She put in Like a Fox from the Body political burlesque, Jamie DeWolf from Tourette's Without Regrets, Dan Savage that she had met backstage at Body. They headed off so well. They're still collaborating right now on another project. They fell in love with each other and she put in Me. So we spent days in a warehouse in Oakland making a big video for this song. And if you want to see it, look up Warm, Bloody and Tender. The official video. It's perfect for Halloween. I think you'll love this song. This is Warm, Bloody and Tender from Rachel Lark.

Rachel Lark (24:32)

I got a special date tonight. Everything has gotta be just right. Cause it's my last chance, you see tomorrow he moves to Italy. So I got my favorite scarf and I got my favorite hat Got all my jewelry, did my makeup like my cat. Got my favorite bra and I got my favorite tee oh shit, I see there's blood on my panties. What the fuck do I do to cancel it? Just be rude. But Shitty's just a dude and there's no way he'd be that down. Or maybe he would but what's at stake right now is he might not wanna. And the thing is I gotta. He's hotter than Madonna and a lot less drama. Maybe it is still a go and he just doesn't have to know. No harm, no foul. That's why God made towels. So I turned the lights down and he still went down he didn't even know that his face was was all brown he said, girl you taste good Girl you taste sweet I said, you do it right, you get a monthly treat Cuz just like steak tastes better when it's warm, bloody and tender Warm, bloody and tender Warm, bloody and tender While I kept the lights low I said, just so you know I'm we than most he said, yeah, I noticed and if you're into it, how about a fist? I said, why not? Though I never had before if my pussy won't clot, it might as well be sore I started screaming and begging for more it was a scene of blood and gore After a few hours we showered also in the dark he said that he'd think of me when he moved to Italy he said for some reason that he couldn't explain he'd been unleashed in a whole new way he picked me up and and said let's go again Then he turned on the lights and he saw the stair he didn't turn the lights down and he's doing down he didn't even care that his face was all brown he said, girl, he tastes good Girl, you taste sweet I said he'd eat right, you get a monthly treat he's just like steak Pussy tastes better when it's warm but. And tender. Warm, bloody and tender. Everybody sing it.

Gretchen Shanks (28:18)

Whoa.

Rachel Lark (28:19)

Wow. Warm, bloody and tender. Wow. Warm, bloody and tender. Wow. Warm, bloody and. 10. Thank you.

Dixie Delator (28:56)

Do you ever wish you could unlock your own story? Do you listen to the stories on this podcast and think I have so many stories, but which one? And how do I tell it? Well, you can work with me. That's my favorite thing in the world to do is to help people find their story and tell it well. Maybe you want to tell it on stage. Maybe you just want to regale your friends at your next party. Either way, I can help you tell your story in a way that feels good, not just for you, but for the people listening. Find out more by contacting me@dixieaudistorytelling.com can't wait to hear from you. I'm a plot Southern girl who always says please and thank you. So I must say thank you to the people who made this podcast episode possible. Thank you to Joe Moore, my video producer and archivist, to Dana Hanna, my project manager, to David Grossoff, my sound engineer. To Marty Garcia, my podcast producer. And thank you to you for listening, for subscribing, for writing us the review. I love it when you write us a review, sending me your emails. I love hearing from you and knowing what kind of stories you want to hear. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour and we'll be back very soon with the next episode of the Body Storytelling Podcast. Here's a peek at what's next.

Gretchen Shanks (30:25)

But that's not what tonight's story is about. No, tonight's story is about the Holy Grail of masturbation. My mouth Otto Fellatio. I'm going to tell you about the time that I successfully sucked my own dick, because that's what body storytelling is all about.