Transcript
Dixie Delator (0:11)
Hang on just a minute, will you? Because this podcast is labeled explicit, we're going to say words that you might not want everybody in your office to hear. So make sure that your earbuds are in or that you're listening in a place where only people who are on board to hear these sorts of stories can hear. These sorts of stories. Sound good? Let's do it.
Creature Hole (Band Member) (0:35)
All of my life I've never fit But I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous. Get used to it. Everyone tells me I'm too much maybe it's just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm supposed to be? Hey, my vagina is eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just run and hide. My vagina is eight miles.
Dixie Delator (1:32)
Hi there. This is sexual folklorist Dixie Delator. And I'm really excited to say this next part. This is episode 50 of the Body Storytelling Podcast.
Creature Hole (Band Member) (1:42)
50.
Dixie Delator (1:43)
We've made 50 of these things. I'm so excited to tell you that we hit this landmark number and it's a really good episode. To mark the occasion, let's talk about our storyteller. For this episode, she's written a memoir on plunging into online dating just as she was entering menopause. And she's hoping to sell that memoir so that she can travel all over the country telling people how great middle aged sex can be. Her first career was as a physician's assistant where she worked for nearly 20 years. She was well paid. Now she's a poor writer, she makes no money at it and she's ecstatically happy. She's a relationship editor of the Erotic Review magazine and writes a bi monthly column on love and sex called Savvy Love. And this was her first time getting on stage to tell a story. She told this at Body Storytelling in Seattle. And this storyteller is Karen Jo.
Karen Jo (3:01)
You're right, you cannot see anything. I cannot see you guys. And I have a drink up here because I have a bit of cough. I might just start coughing. So that's why I have this. Anyway, so I became single not that long ago after a 23 year marriage. And I just so happened to be living in London with my ex and my son. And around that same time, I was going through menopause and I didn't have the normal symptoms. I did not have night sweats, I didn't have hot flashes. I was losing my mind. But one of the upsides of Going through menopause is that you feel bolder, you feel less like you care about what people think and you just want to kind of take risks. And I, When I moved to England, I decided not to practice medicine anymore because I was in menopause and I didn't want to take care of other people's problems. You know, I take care of my son, I took care of myself, but everyone else could just go to hell. So I got on Tinder and OkCupid, and my God, you know, when you're in a dating pool of 10 million people, that is a bonanza. That is a real bonanza. And it was feeling good. You know, I did. Hadn't felt desired for a long time. So, you know, every time I swiped right and it was like, woo hoo hoo, you know, someone wants me. Finally. So shortly after I started doing this, I met a man named George. Now, I was looking for something a little different. I didn't want to do vanilla anymore. So I was kind of picking these guys out based on their profiles. Now, George was a really eloquent writer, and I'm such a sucker for that, of course. But when he walked through the door, he was about 6 foot 3. He had these isosceles triangle sideburns. He looked like Piers Bronson, except with. He was much more swarthy. And, you know, unlike most of the metrosexuals in London, George wore car hearts. And so this Northwest girl was like, ooh, yeah. So we started talking at the bar and we were immediately smitten with each other. And George asked. Asked me, so what are you interested in? And I said, well, I'm not really sure. I'm just a suburban mom. So George takes my wrist in each of his hands and he slowly pins them behind my back. And he leans down from his large height and he gently bites me on the neck. And that was the most electrifying thing anybody had ever done to me up to that point. So when he looked at me and I could breathe again, I said, that's a good start. So George and I became lovers, and it was wonderful. He taught me all sorts of new things in the bedroom. And one day I got a call from him. He says, karen, I have this friend, his name is Rob, and he has these Penthouse parties. Would you like to go? And I'm thinking, George. I say, george, is this a sex party? And he said, why, yes, it is. I said, since I was in menopause, yes. My first sex party. All right. So he was excited. And so the night of the party. It's cold and it's March, and it's drizzly. And we took a cab from his house on the south side of the river in Brixton, which is very gritty place. And we take the cab over to the north side of the river, to the Hilton Hotel at Westminster. And as we're going up in the elevator to the 11th floor, I'm clutching my reusable Seattle nylon bag with two bottles of Prosecco in it. And I'm starting to get really nervous. And the thing that's going through my head is, you know that scene in Eyes Wide Shut? You know it. You know, like, everybody's so fucking beautiful. Like, all the call girls have these gorgeous bodies, and everyone looks like Tom Cruise. And I'm thinking, oh, shit. I'm gonna be sitting in the corner with my hand over my dimpled ass, just watching. So we knock on the door, and as soon as the door opened, I knew it was gonna be nothing because Rob, the host, was this guy. He was about 5 foot 4, just a little sprite of a guy. Dark curly hair. He looked like this Jewish Dudley Moore. And all he had on was a black latex Speedo. And he throws open his arms and he welcomes us. And he takes our jackets and says, go, introduce yourselves. So we walk into this penthouse. It's not that big. It's just like a studio apartment. It's got a queen bed on one side, and on the opposite end of the room is the king bed. And in between, there's a couple couches and there's some tables and one table there's drinks and finger food. And on the other table there's vibrators and dildos and lube and switches and riding crops. And everybody's still clothed. So we start mingling, and I start talking to these three women. Now, one of them is also an American. She's got very spiky hair. It's all different colors. She's got tattoos everywhere. And I'm kind of feeling intimidated and suburban. And the other two women were also. They were very, very nice. They were all nice. We just started talking about our kids.