Bawdy Storytelling Episode 53: "The Doctor is In"

Host: Dixie De La Tour
Guests: April Kidwell, Auntie Vice
Release Date: December 20, 2018

Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling delivers the show's signature mix of candid, comedic, and transformative real-life sex stories. Centered around the theme “The Doctor is In,” Dixie gives listeners a holiday treat with two stories: a raucous cruise ship romance from performer April Kidwell, and a poignant tale of healing through kink from writer/researcher Auntie Vice. The episode explores self-discovery, sexual liberation, hard-won boundaries, and the power of body-positive storytelling, all told with humor and vulnerability.

Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdowns

1. Host Reflections and Listener Impact

[01:28–05:23]

• Dixie shares the aftermath of her recent podcast episode on sexual assault and dissociation.
  • Moved by supportive emails from listeners and a trauma therapist.
  • Expresses gratitude for personal stories shared and emphasizes storytelling’s healing impact:

    “These are stories that reflect growth, healing, and hope.” (Dixie, 02:54)

• Announces a special double-story holiday episode.

2. Story #1: April Kidwell – Muscle, Mischief, and "The Doctor"

[05:23–23:31]

a. Pop Star Dreams & Cruise Ship Life

• April recounts her post-college pop-star fantasy job: lead singer on a Norwegian cruise ship at age 23.
  • Describes sparkling costumes and the exhilarating (and sometimes exploitative) world of cruise performers.

b. Enter Dr. Xander van der Poel

• April’s first glimpse of the ship’s “hot, beefy” South African doctor sparks instant obsession.
• Friends play along, April invents medical excuses to visit the doctor (“Dr. Van der Poel, I have a hangnail…” [11:09]).

c. The Steamy Liaison

• At a farewell party, mutual attraction is finally confessed (thanks to friend Sheldon), leading to an epic night together.
  • Nine breathtaking hours in the doctor’s cabin:

    “...the sexiest, beefiest, hottest sex of my life for nine fucking hours. There were no breaks.”
    (April Kidwell, 14:45)

  • Comedic panic over potential “poop incidents,” with April discreetly checking herself in the bathroom repeatedly:

    “I swear to God, poop was coming out…And then I look on the bed, and there are shit stains all over the sheets.”
    (April, 16:10)

  • The chaos continues as ship officials barge in to say goodbye to Xander; April tries to hide the evidence and her “sex-hair.”

d. The Reprise and the Realization

• Fate brings April and Xander together again on another ship years later; another marathon night, but the magic fades in the light of his character.
• Xander reveals snobbish disrespect for others (“What a waste of space. What a pig.” [21:07]), particularly towards a fellow passenger and server staff at dinner.
• April decides that kindness matters more than chemistry:

  “I realized that even though he was the sexiest person I’d ever fucked, he was the ugliest person I had ever been with... Yes, he was one of my shits.”
  (April Kidwell, 23:21)

3. Interlude: Rachel Lark’s Musical Intermission

[26:37–30:16]

• Rachel Lark performs “There’s Nothing Sexy About Christmas,” a witty, sex-positive holiday anthem written for Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast.
  • Highlights the (un)sexiness of traditional Christmas trappings, with tongue-in-cheek humor:

    “I don’t mean to yuck your yum but take that tinsel off your bum / This holiday is nothing but wholesome, so why you gotta turn it into Folsom?”
    (Rachel Lark, 27:06)

4. Story #2: Auntie Vice – Knives, Self-Harm, and Kink Healing

[32:11–41:42]

a. The Brooklyn Warehouse Night

• Auntie Vice arrives at a kink play party:

  “Ropes are hanging from this 25-foot ceiling… I’m looking for a guy that I only know by his screen name, Naughty Boy.”
  (Auntie Vice, 32:16)

• She opts to confront a hard limit—knife play—once a tool of self-harm, now approached as an act of trust and growth.

b. Courage & Vulnerability

• Vice recounts 20+ years as a cutter, tracing the origins of her pain and body dysmorphia:
  • “The first time I was 11...I start outlining on my stomach the parts I want to go away...”
    (Auntie Vice, 33:57)
• The scene is carefully negotiated, and Vice chooses connection over fear.

c. The Knife Scene: From Destruction to Generativity

• Erotic, meticulously described sensory details:
  • “I feel his hands on my back through the nitrile gloves he’s wearing. And it immediately centers me...”
    (Auntie Vice, 36:52)
  • “And I feel that first blade hit my back … he starts going across my ass in these long strokes. And the chef in me is like, ‘Oh my God, I know how a tomato feels. This is amazing.’”
    (37:50)
• Vice focuses on staying present, battling old voices with new sensations—culminating in empowerment and arousal:
  • “Instead of freaking out, I’m like, I’m getting into this. And I start thinking, I wonder if he knows I’m wet.”
    (38:38)

d. Aftermath: Owning Her Body

• Naughty Boy rewards her with the green knife as a token.
• Vice reflects on ongoing struggles with her body, gender, and mental health—but also her resilience:

  “What I’m left with is— instead of being back in the place where I want to destroy my body— I’m willing to fight for it now and make sure it’s okay. And on those days where that gets really hard to embrace, I have a little green knife that reminds me, I can do this, and if I do it right, I might get a little wet.”
  (Auntie Vice, 41:16)

Memorable Quotes

• “He hit such success with that role [Showgirls] that she’s turned it into a solo show. … She looked like she’s made out of a rubber band. This girl is flexible.”
  (Dixie De La Tour, introducing April, 04:11)
• “He was so beefy he doesn’t have a neck, but so beefy he doesn’t need a neck.”
  (April, on Xander, 08:52)
• “I realized that even though he was the sexiest person I’d ever fucked, he was the ugliest person I had ever been with. And so, yes, he was one of my shits.”
  (April, 23:21)
• “Kink is all about generativity and connection and love and growth.”
  (Auntie Vice, 35:27)
• “Instead of being back in the place where I want to destroy my body, I’m willing to fight for it now and make sure it’s okay. And on those days where that gets really hard ... I have a little green knife that reminds me, I can do this.”
  (Auntie Vice, 41:16)

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Dixie’s Opening Reflections: 01:28–05:23
• April Kidwell’s Story, Cruise Ship Sexcapade: 05:23–23:31
• Rachel Lark’s “Nothing Sexy About Christmas”: 26:37–30:16
• Auntie Vice’s Knife Play Story: 32:11–41:42
• Powerful Takeaway on Kindness in Relationships: 21:15–23:31
• Final Reflection on Survival and Growth: 41:16

Tone and Language

The episode is unflinchingly honest, peppered with comedic timing, self-aware wit, and moments of profound vulnerability. The storytellers are raunchy, irreverent, but deeply human, exemplifying Bawdy Storytelling’s motto: “The Moth for pervs.” Dixie’s emceeing is warm, confessional, and celebratory of sexual diversity and healing. There’s a notable emphasis on consent, boundaries, and the importance of kindness—both toward others and oneself.

Summary Takeaway

Episode 53 of Bawdy Storytelling celebrates the messiness, hilarity, and courage required to truly own one’s body and sexual story. April Kidwell’s romp with a doctor turns into a wise reconsideration of what (and who) is truly sexy, while Auntie Vice’s journey with knives highlights kink’s transforming power to heal old wounds. The stories—ripe with laughter, embarrassment, and ultimately self-love—reinforce Bawdy’s mission to break sexual shame, one unfiltered tale at a time.