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Bawdy Storytelling
Episode 53: ‘The Doctor is In’ (April Kidwell & Auntie Vice)
00:46:15
Put on that cheetah thong and your favorite character heels and show the world your inner beauty this season. From sexual adventure on the high seas to exclusive kink parties in a Brooklyn warehouse, this episode’s storytellers find inner calm and...
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- [00:15]
Dixie de La Tour
This is a reminder that the podcast you're about to listen to is adult in nature. That means it contains explicit content. Please put your headphones on if you're out in a public place. There you go. You've had your warning. By the way, thanks so much for listening.
- [00:32]
Rachel Lark
All of my life I've never fit But I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous get used to it. Everyone tells me I'm too much maybe it's just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm sorry Supposed to be.
- [01:03]
Dixie de La Tour
Hey.
- [01:03]
Rachel Lark
My vagina is eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just run and hide My vagina is eight miles.
- [01:28]
Dixie de La Tour
Hi there. I am sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour, and you are listening to episode 53 of the Body Storytelling Podcast. So before we get into story, I'm going to tell you a little bit about what my week's been like. If you listened to last week's episode of the Body Storytelling Podcast, our collaboration with the Risks show, you got to hear my story, and it was a hard one, y'. All. And the day it came up, I cried all day. And I found out the episode was up on Risk because, I don't know, the middle of the night, someone had written me and told me their sexual assault story. I woke up, read it, and went, well, I guess the episode's up. Then I listened to the whole episode and I cried all day. Interspersed with reading emails from people who'd been through the same thing. I want to say thank you for sending me your story. If I haven't replied, it's because it's been tough. But I've gotten some really, really touching and moving email this week. I also got this really interesting email from a therapist who specializes in trauma, and he said, thank you so much for talking about disassociation, because it's not that well known and it's very important people don't know about it as much as they should when it comes to trauma. And he also said, I work all day with trauma survivors, and I love to listen to storytelling shows like Body Storytelling, because these are stories that reflect growth, healing, and hope. He thanked me for my story, and when you get an email like that and the other emails that I got this week with the personal stories, it makes you go, I guess I made the right decision. So I just wanted to say thank you. And emails are my most favorite thing, you guys. So I'd love To hear from you. I guess we should get on with this show, shouldn't we? So it's the holidays and I'm really feeling like I want to give you a gift. So we're going to have two stories on this week's episode. It was Christmas and all the other holidays. And I thought maybe what could I give you that felt just right? What did they like? They seem to like stories. So let's do more than usual. Let's talk about our first storyteller. Our first storyteller is a show producer and star. She is incredible. I first saw her on stage at Peaches Christ's Showgirls and she played Nomi Malone, the main character. She walked around stage in the tiniest little G string and hardly anything else. Maybe some pasties. And she was this comic genius who looked like she's made out of a rubber band. This girl is flexible. She hit such success with that role that she's turned it into a solo show. She is going to be starring in I Know Me. There'll be information on that in the show notes and it will be running for a very short time at the Oasis nightclub here in San Francisco January 3rd through 5th. I'm going. I'd love to sit next to you while we hold hands and go. Isn't she incredibly talented? This is your first story. This one is from April Kidwell.
- [05:23]
April Kidwell
This is amazing. Good job, everybody. You're doing a great job. Well, the moon was shining through the porthole of his dark cabin and the waves were crashing against the ship, rocking our bodies with a swell of the ocean. And as he pressed my very eager body against his hard closet, I slowly peeled off his shirt and with my bare hands discovered his beefy, brawny, naked body. And this body I had lusted after for a very long time. Two weeks. It was my first job out of college. I was working on a cruise ship. I was cast as a lead singer in the production shows aboard Norwegian cruise lines. I was 23 years old, which was a very long time ago. And this was my life now. Sailing around the world, living out my pop star fantasies, performing to thousand person audiences three times a week wearing the most bedazzled, sparkled, bespeckled, spangled sequined costumes and evening gowns I'd ever seen and singing some of my favorite songs with a whole crew of backup dancers with like French buns and cheetah print thongs and character heels. And it was glorious. It was like everything I had fantasized about because for like 10 years prior, I Would go to bed with earplugs in and like fantasize about being a pop star with backup dancers. So it was pretty fucking awesome. And so this ship was the Norwegian Star. And we were traveling to and around Alaska. And my first night on the ship, my company manager tells me, you know, being the principal singer is a very prestigious position. It's actually one of the most coveted jobs on the ship. And you have all the privileges, the best privileges. You have your own cabin with your own full size bed and a porthole because it's very important to see the sun when you live on a boat. You get to go in all the restaurants and all the public spaces because it's actually slave labor working on a cruise ship for everybody else involved. If you don't know that, I'm sorry. And I got to go. I got to be in port as long as I wanted because I only worked 16 hours a week. It was pretty fucking rad. Didn't really set me up well for the rest of my life and reality. And so I got to do amazing. Like on this ship, we got to do a 70s rock review called Band on the Run. And it was a medley of like wings and Queen and Heart and Sticks and the whole Village People got a section. And I got to sing Donna Summers last dance wearing like a red sequin evening gown at the top of the risers, like real. I'm not a riffer. So it was like, it was very interesting. And there were ballroom dancers like spinning and stuff. And then we did an Andrew Lloyd Webber review called Music of the Night. And I got to sing Memory from Cats and Cats was my favorite musical growing up. So this was like fucking heaven. I used to take the mirror off the wall and put it on the couch in my living room and play the Cats DVD and teach myself the choreography because I was a fucking nerd. And so I'm on this ship and there are 67 different nationalities on this ship. And so I make friends with this wonderful, tall, beautiful, fabulous gay man jeweler from St. Lucia named Sheldon. And we have a great time together and we go out on a date, just the two of us. And we're up in the steakhouse and in walks this hunky, beefy six foot three, golden glowing, tanned skin, like so beefy he doesn't have a neck, but so beefy he doesn't need a neck. And like the brightest green eyes and the biggest megawatt smile I'd ever seen. Like, this guy was so fucking hot. He looked like he just walked off the set of 300, which was exactly the movie that I masturbated to for many years. And so he walks by this hot, beefy sex stud in a crisp officer's uniform, and he gives me this megawatt smile. I'm like, sheldon, who the fuck is that? He's like, oh, that. That's the ship's doctor from South Africa, and his name is Xander van der Poel. Like, pole, as in penis. So naturally, I became obsessed. And the very mention of the name Zander van der Poel sound like earthquake shivering in my vagina and panties and all of it. And, I mean, even, like, Dr. Van der Poel, it's like. So my cast had a field day with that and made fun of me relentlessly. But luckily, my company manager was, like, was very sympathetic to my cause and would write me the most ridiculous doctor's notes, and I would come up with any reason I possibly could to go see Dr. Van der Poel. Xander van der Poel in his office, like, oh, Dr. Van der Poel, I have a hangnail. I don't know what to do. Dr. Vanderpoel, I sprained my ankle, and now I have to hobble around the ship for a week looking like a dick. And then I, like, try to convince him. It's like, I think I have gi. My shit is coming out like spackle. And that's when he explained to me that they put stool softener in the food on the ship, and then it wasn't gi. Like, it's a very sensitive piping system. So if you ever go on a cruise ship and you notice that the food is salty, they do this for a reason. Try doing that for three fucking years. And so I find out it's Xander's last week on the ship, and I'm absolutely devastated. But Sheldon is throwing a goodbye party for Xander in his cabin, and I was invited. And so I'm just hanging out, lingering next to him, like, not saying anything. We've never actually had a conversation. I'm just always like. And I'm just standing there with my $5, like, bottle of wine and a red plastic cup just like. But Xander, I feel vibes. It's not just me. And I'm not just delusional. And so then Sheldon very kindly takes my hand, and then he takes Xander's hand. He puts my drink down first continuity. Puts my drink down, grabs my hand and grabs Xander's hand. And then he looks at Xander and he goes, you know she likes you. And I'm mortified. And then he turns to me, goes, you know he likes you. And I'm like, oh, fuck, yeah.
- [14:05]
Auntie Weiss
Yeah.
- [14:08]
April Kidwell
And then he puts our hands together and he says, now go do something about it. And so we walk down the hall to his cabin, and we get inside without saying a word, enter his dark cabin. And it all starts. The taking off the shirt, pushing me against his closet, grinding his dick against my pussy. And we start smashing our faces into each other. And I can feel the scruff of his face grinding on my skin. And I love every fucking second of it. And that's when I have this realization, like, I'm about to fuck a man. I've had sex with many guys, but I've never fucked a man. And he was 39 and I was 23. So that was fucking hot. That was like a whole lifetime, like, happening. Like I am. I became a woman. I knew it. I was very aware. I am becoming a woman in this sexual experience. And just the sexiest, beefiest, hottest sex of my life for nine fucking hours. There were no breaks. It was like, definitely before midnight to pass the sun coming up. And he's leaving. The next morning, he's getting off the ship, and we're fucking each other's brains out in his room. And three quarters of the way in, I'm like, on top, grinding him. And I'm not usually comfortable being on top, even still to this day. But at that point, there were no reservations. And so I'm on top fucking, living my dreams. And then suddenly, his wonderfully big giant cock was, like, pushing on the part of my body that I feel like is connected to my poop. And I'm just like, I'm still orgasm. The whole thing is an orgasm, but I'm just very mindful of. I'm shitting on his balls. Oh, my God, I'm shitting on his balls. So very discreetly, I'd be, like, grinding on him. And I put my hand back there and I'd wipe my butt. I'd be like, I have to go to the bathroom right now. I'll be right back and go to the bathroom and check my hand. And nothing was there. And so it was fine. But I did this like five times because I was. I swear to God, poop was coming out. And so the sun is up, but we had shut the porthole door because we wanted some privacy. And he, you know, when he's done fucking my brains out for nine hours, he does it with a big smile on his face and walks his cute tush up to the Bathroom. And I'm just. Like. I'm adjusting to a penis not being in my body. And then I look on the bed, and there are shit stains all over the sheets. And it was like somebody took a paintbrush and drew race tracks all over it and brown. And I'm fucking freaking out. Like, oh, my fucking God. What do I do?
- [17:37]
Auntie Weiss
What do I do?
- [17:38]
April Kidwell
So I get the genius idea. I'll just throw the duvet over it. I'll lay on top. Like, nothing to see here. And he comes back out, and I refuse to. To leave the bed. And then he gets a knock on the door. So he hands me a towel, and I wrap it around, and it's the hotel director coming in to say goodbye to Xander. And my hair is out to fucking here, and I have a gaping, like, scab on my chin like the size of a silver dollar. Like, the skin completely, like, tore off from making out so hard. So the hotel director, my boss, comes by to say goodbye to Xander. I'm just sitting there, hotel like, hey. Then the cruise director comes by to say goodbye to Xander. Then the captain of the ship, then the whole fucking spa department secret's out. And so we say goodbye, thinking that we'd never see each other again and kind of heartbroken. And after he left, I could not sit down for a week. And so I wrote him, I miss you. This was the best sex I've ever had in my life, by the way. I think I have a UTI and vaginal bacteritis, whatever you call that. Can I have a prescription, please? And he was such a gentleman. He wrote me a prescription. It was great. And years go by, and I think, ah, the days of Xander van der Poel. And still people were bringing it up because everybody knew. And then a couple years go by, I'm on a new ship. It's not as glamorous anymore. I fall down the stairs with my heels clack, and it's fun. And I'm on a new ship. And I had. Somehow, somebody told me that Xander van der Poel was on this new ship. And it's three years later, we're on the same fucking ship. Mm. And then he finds out that I'm on the ship same day. So we find each other. We're like, we're gonna have sex tonight date in your cabin. And this time he didn't have a full bed. It was like. I don't know why he got degraded to a bunk bed situation, but I guess it's humbling. But this time I had something to like, hold onto for seven hours. No poop this time. So that was a plus. And then we decide to go on our first date, and we go out for sushi on the ship. And realizing we've never actually had a conversation. How interesting. And we're both feeling these genuine feelings. And he's telling me. He's like, I've already told my whole spa department, all my nurses, I really think you're the one. And I want to take you back to South Africa with me.
- [20:38]
Dixie de La Tour
And.
- [20:38]
April Kidwell
And I'm thinking, I want you to meet my family and be my wife and spend the rest of my life with me.
- [20:42]
Dixie de La Tour
Your life with me.
- [20:43]
April Kidwell
And I'm like, okay. And then there's this. I see this lady walk by on the ship, and it's like, her. She looks kind of tacky and the normal, typical physique of somebody, a guest on a cruise ship, big in America, and, you know, enjoying life, as I like to put it. And I thought this lady was cute. And then Xander's like, ugh, what a waste of space. What a pig.
- [21:15]
Auntie Weiss
Yeah.
- [21:16]
April Kidwell
Yeah. And I was like, that's gross. And I'm like, okay. Continuing the meal. I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that or. That was weird. I don't like that internally. I don't intuitively, this does not feel good. And then the waitress comes by, and she's very apologetic, like, doing her waitressing server duties, like, I'm gonna take your plates. Would you like anything else? And he's like, ugh. And then makes his face to me, like, ugh, horrible. How dare she? And I'm just like, you're the grossest fucking person I've ever seen. And then I decided not to take any of his calls anymore after that, even. We had a week left on the ship. And I just thought, ignoring him is the solution is the mature this route out of this one. And I get hate mail from him after he gets off the ship saying, april, I am not one of your shits. And what I realized from this experience is that I have values. And the way that the people that I date or engage with or anybody in my life, the way that they treat other people is so important to me. And especially. Especially servers, and especially the way people look. These things matter to me. Kindness and love and respect and gratitude. And he never once exercised any of those attributes in our time together, just really good sex. And I realized that even though he was the sexiest person I'd ever fucked, he was the ugliest person I had ever been with. And so, yes, he was one of my shits.
- [23:32]
Dixie de La Tour
So we're coming up on the end of the year, and I'd like to ask you if you could just share this podcast. You can do it on social media, you can do it through email. You can call a friend. You can sit down over tea or coffee and tell somebody face to face about this cool podcast that you listen to. If you tell just one friend and each one of you do it, we're gonna grow. Just talking about it is so important. You can also go and review us on itunes. We're also on Spotify. You letting other people know that you love us, that's what it's all about. One of the best gifts you could ever give me, and I thank you in advance for that. Ladies, how old were you when you got your first period? You are not going to believe my answer to that question. But first, I want to tell you about our sponsor, Lola. Lola is a subscription service. They deliver organic cotton tampons, pads, liners, and 100% natural cleansing wipe right to your door in discreet packaging. No more running to the drugstore late at night. Everything you need comes right to you. You select the type of absorbency, the number of boxes you need, and you can adjust the frequency of delivery whenever you want. And then there's Lola's sex products. Lola's personal lubricant is gynecologist approved and hypoallergenic. Lola's condoms are ultra thin and lubricated. And they've also got brilliant products like Crampcare multivitamins. And I really thought this was smart. A first period kit for new menstruators. Maybe you have a young human in your house who might find themselves in need. It comes with a guide on what to expect when you start your period. Boy, I wish I'd had that when I started menstruating. So how old was I when I started? I was 10. And that's a huge chunk of my life spent in the feminine hygiene aisle and feeling judged when I went to the drugstore to buy condoms and lube. But you don't have to do that. Give Lola a try. And if you visit mylola.com and enter the promo code DIXIE at checkout, you'll get 40% off your subscription. Use the code DIXIE. DIXIE for home delivery of feminine products and sex supplies with free shipping. Make life simpler. Try Lola. If you've heard of author and sex advice columnist Dan Savage, you know that I'm a big fan, and I've had him on stage at body storytelling a few times. Once upon a time in the green room, he met Rachel Lark, our musical sidekick and beloved musical artist, and they hit it off. In fact, he hired her to write a song for the Savage Love cast's live show, and we're gonna play it on this episode. She wrote it just for Dan Savage. It's called There's Nothing Sexy Bout Christmas. This is Rachel, Larry.
- [26:38]
Rachel Lark
Christmas bells are ringing, Stores are having sales. This time of year is always such a joy. Families get together, and Santa never fails to put a smile on the face of every girl and boy. But, my love, I need you to know Just because this is my favorite holiday doesn't mean I like it when you buy me Santa's Little Helper lingerie. Well, there's nothing sexy about Christmas Whoa. Leave your Santa fantasies up there in the chimney, please hey. There's nothing sexy about Christmas Whoa. I don't mean to yuck your yum but take that tinsel off your bum this holiday is nothing but wholesome so why you gotta turn it into Folsom? I'll leave my Christmas love Boom. I'm a kinky lady and you're a kinky guy and I'm down for almost everything you try but everyone thinks that everything you like should be part of every part of your life Remember how I explained just because I have cat doesn't mean I like cat stuff? So I assumed that because I like spanking, I'd be into wearing jingle bell handcuffs. Well, there's nothing sexy about Christmas Whoa. You know that I'm ggg But get these snowballs off of me. Hey. There's nothing sexy about Christmas Whoa. It's my favorite time of year but let's make one thing crystal clear this holiday's about a virgin it's far too easy A perversion I'll leave my Christmas.
- [28:32]
Dixie de La Tour
Alone.
- [28:52]
April Kidwell
If you really want to make.
- [28:53]
Rachel Lark
Me happy Let me out of this sleigh Unstrap me I'll leave my Christmas.
- [28:58]
Dixie de La Tour
Alone.
- [29:03]
Rachel Lark
I'm not squeaked out by holidays per se it's just that this one is so pure in every way the most I want to do is steal a kiss or two Beneath the wreath of mistletoe at night can't you see that to me you're sexy in the way you show how helpful you can be hmm. Maybe when the family's gone away I'll pull your sweater off and say baby, fuck me by the tree Fine. There's something sexy about Christmas Whoa. Now that it's all said and done I'm no longer stressed let's have some fun hey, there's something sexy about Christmas Whoa while we're cleaning up tonight Won't you tie me in those Christmas lights? When holiday plans are haunting Being sexy is far too daunting so if you really want me in that elf outfit wait till December 26th just leave my Christmas alone Leave my Christmas alone.
- [30:16]
Dixie de La Tour
You know how you fall in love with something? There's this show maybe that comes out and you love it so much and you can't wait for the next episode and then it's cancelled. Let's make sure the bawdy storytelling podcast isn't canceled. If you could go to patreon.com bawdi b a w D Y and support us at any level you can manage, it means we can keep going and growing and that this podcast won't stop. I have a favorite show that was just canceled and I'm so sad and I don't know what to do about it. I'm just gonna pine for it, but I can't change it. But you can change Things. Go to patreon.com bodi Support this podcast and thank you in advance for your support. Can I ask you for a favor? I'd really like to get to know you better. You're a listener of this show and I want to know how to improve it. What you like. So if you could please go to bodystorytelling.com and click on the Survey tab. It's a really quick survey. It won't take but a minute. And the best part is one lucky survey entrant will win a We Vibe gift set with 10 toys and accessories worth over $350 from Babeland.com please go to bodystorytelling.com and click on the Survey tab. Thanks. Our next storyteller holds a PhD in political psychology. She is the author of the blog Love Letters to a Unicorn and she is the author of the Big Workbook for Submissives. She co hosts the Body Positive podcast Fat Chicks on Top. She's a writer, a performer and a storyteller. This story is from Auntie Weiss.
- [32:12]
Auntie Weiss
I'm standing in the middle of a warehouse in Brooklyn. It's about 100, 150 people there. Ropes are hanging from this 25 foot ceiling and there's a couple in the middle of the room starting a suspension scene around the edges of the walls there are St. Andrews crosses and massage tables and people are doing other kinky things. And I'm looking for a guy that I only know by his screen name, Naughty Boy. And I see him in a corner next to a massage table, and there's a smaller table next to him, and it's a tray full of knives, bright, shiny knives. So I walk over and introduce myself, and we exchange some pleasantries. And he says, so, are you ready to do this? I'm like, yeah. And inside my no, but I'm not going to wimp out. And he goes, okay, what's your favorite color? He said, green. And he pops out a briefcase and opens it up like the guys used to do on the Lower east side of New York with fake watches. But this one has rows and rows of little pocket knives. And he pulls out a green one. And he closes it. He's like, okay. And he smiles. And I'm thinking, you are remarkably casual for what we're about to do. See, I'm in New York and I was teaching at Subcon, which is a conference for submissives. And the organizers, as part of this conference, brought in a ton of professional dominance and tops. And they'd sent all the participants their names and their specialties and said, if you want, want to play with them on Saturday night, here you go. So when I was getting ready for the conference, I'd gone through all the names and I'm thinking, do I want to do something that I've done before, but with somebody who's really talented, you know, whipping scene, get lit on fire, or do I want to try something new? Because, you know, and as I'm going through, Naughty Boy does fire. So I was initially looking at him, but he also does knives. And for most of my life, knives were on the hard no list. I wasn't going to do it. And it's not for some esoteric, I'm anti violence thing. It was not a random fear of knives. It's because for most of my life, knives have been on my body in a very negative way. See, I was a cutter for 20 years. I used it as a form of self harm. The first time I was 11. It was the summer between sixth and seventh grade. I was one of those latchkey kids in San Jose. And I'm home after band camp, waiting for my parents to get home. And I'm lying in my room in a T shirt and shorts, and I start getting hungry. And that inner voice starts. It's like, you fat fuck, how do you want to eat? You can't possibly want a snack. You are so disgusting. Look at those fat fucking thighs. You are worthless. No one's ever going to love you. It's like worse than any Twitter troll I've ever had. It's laying into me and I start thinking, you know, if I could just cut off the gross parts, there might be something to love. So I got up, I went into my parents office and opened the roll top desk. And I got out one of my dad's exacto knives that he used to do mattes for his photographs with. I go back into my room and I start outlining on my stomach the parts I want to go away. And I'm watching the blood bead up in the cuts, and I'm just hoping I have enough in me to just cut off the parts I don't like. And I didn't. And so I soft up the blood with toilet paper and I'm thinking, fuck, I'm still hungry. And that started 20 years of this. And it moved from my stomach to my thighs. When my tits came in, it was horrible. I just wanted to cut them off and then to my arms. And every time I would pray that I would find the strength to go deep enough and obliterate myself. As I got older, I realized this is not normal thinking. This is not normally what you do. And I started to work to improve how I felt about myself and at least stop thinking cutting. So by the time I'm in New York in this warehouse, a knife hadn't touched my body in 10 years. And it's terrifying to me to think I might retrigger all of that. But I'm like, no, I'm here. I'm teaching classes on growing your submission and deepening your submission. And I need to face this. And I had chosen to do a knife scene because knives kink is exactly the opposite of cutting for me, where cutting was about hate and obliterating myself and disconnection, kink is all about generativity and connection and love and growth. So I had talked to naughty boy about this and let him know a little bit about this. And so we're there and he goes, okay, when you're ready, strip down and we'll start. So I started taking off my clothes, and he starts wiping down the massage table with an alcohol disinfectant. And that's incredibly triggering because at this point in my life, I fucking hate doctors. Really, I can't stand them. So it's triggering. And I'm doing what I do when I get triggered to call myself, and I start getting really methodical. I'm taking off all my clothes and I'm folding them very neatly and laying on the chair. In the order I'm going to have to put them back on like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory. Been a really proud of this organization calling myself. So I get on the massage table and I can smell this disinfectant. And I'm trying to talk myself down and I start going, okay, it's okay. You're not in a doctor's office. As far as you know he's not an md. You know, I hadn't asked. I didn't know his real name. It's okay. It's just a random guy from the Internet. You're in a warehouse in Brooklyn with knives. You're going to be good. And I start laughing at myself because it's like I'm saying you're naked with a guy and knives in Brooklyn. You don't know. And this is a good thing. Okay, we can do this. And I feel his hands on my back through the nitrile gloves he's wearing. And it immediately centers me. It brings me back to that kink space where I start focusing and my breathing calms and the world starts to fall away and time starts to disappear and I'm no longer hearing music, I'm not hearing people or anything. And I feel that first blade hit my back and he's working on me. And it's this razor sharp blade. I can feel him tracing around my tattoos and not cutting through them. So I'm focusing on which tattoos he's moving around. And then he moves down to my sides and that 11 year cold comes back and I can just think of how big and disgusting I am. But I'm like, I'm going to focus. I'm going to power through this, right? And his hands move down and the blades move down. He starts going across my ass in these long strokes. And the chef in me is like, oh, my God, I know how a tomato feels. This is kind of amazing. Like I need him as a sous chef. He's doing these long cuts on my ass. I'm like, okay, I'm kind of getting into this. And the blade moves down into my inner thighs. And instead of freaking out, I'm like, I'm getting into this. And I start thinking, I wonder if he knows I'm wet. And it's such a positive, sexy response. And I have no idea how long this has been going on. Like, it's just me and him in the moment. And he starts moving back up. And then he takes the tip of the blade and runs it all the way up my spine to the back of my neck. And like I'm covered in goosebumps, like head to toe. And he's like, how are you? And like tap the bench. So he'll take the knife off because I do have some self preservation at this point. And he takes it off and says, you know, I'm okay. And I sit up and he gives me a hug and he wipes off the blade with disinfectant and folds it up and gives it to me as a token, which I'm sure for him, he does for a lot of people. I mean, this is what he does. But for me, it was an incredibly meaningful thing. I have this little green pocket knife from him and it's not like I've ever gotten real okay with my body. I still don't love it, right? I'm agender. I have a lot of dysmorphia. I don't feel comfortable. And there's still days I want to take the double Ds and put them on the shelf and just be done with them. I want the Mr. Potato Head body. You pop off one part you don't like and pop off on another. And I'm bipolar, so when the mood swings hit, it makes it much worse. But what I'm left with is instead of being back in the place where I want to destroy my body, I'm willing to fight for it now and make sure it's okay. And on those days where that gets really hard to embrace, I have a little green knife that reminds me, I can do this, and if I do it right, I might get a little wet.
- [41:42]
Dixie de La Tour
I'd like to say thank you to our sponsor of the Bango prizes that we give away at live body storytelling shows. Good Vibrations in San Francisco and Babeland in Seattle have been giving us prizes to give to you guys for being brave and smart and outgoing in any of the things that are hard. Talking to strangers at a show. We like to reward you and they make that possible. If you want to know more about them, you can learn more about Good Vibrations and Beyblade in the show notes. So I just did a live body storytelling. I had people come up to me at the show to tell me that they had specially arranged a flight from Toronto to come be at the San Francisco show. There was somebody there from Glastonbury in the UK and it was his first body storytelling. If you make flight or hotel plans, which I've been getting emails asking me for upcoming shows, if you travel, please come up and say hi to me at a show. I want to thank you, give you a big hug if you're up for that and show you that I appreciate you valuing what we do. So I'm about to tell you the dates of upcoming live body storytelling shows. We're going to start on January 9th in San Francisco. That will be at the verdi Club on January 17th in Seattle. The theme is Shenanigans that shows at the Rebar Seattle. And I am also staying that weekend for the PodCon conference, the podcasting conference in Seattle that happens that weekend. If you happen to be there, send me an email and let me know. Maybe we can have coffee or something. On February 3, I am doing Notorious. It is a celebration of of the co author of the Ethical Slut, Dawsey Easton. Dawsey Easton will be celebrating her 75th birthday with us at Bodie. It happens to be the 50th anniversary of an adventure that led to the writing of the Ethical Sled. If you want to know what the adventure was, you want to hear the story, please come be at that show with us that is in San Francisco on Sunday, February 3rd. On February 14th, that's Valentine's Day. I'm gonna do some sex and love theme. Haven't figured it out. If you have a great idea, let me know. Somebody wants to do. A lot of people keep suggesting Love Hurts and I'm like that's great for a kink theme. I don't know, maybe it'll be Love Hurts. I don't know. But on February 14, which is Valentine's Day, I will be performing inside Seattle. Would love to have you celebrate that special holiday with us on February 23rd in San Francisco. It is Body Storytelling's 12 year anniversary. We're gonna do two shows that night. We are going to do a special anniversary show and then we will follow it with Best of Body. I'm about to tell you how to start voting for people. Voting opens up the beginning of January and you can vote for Body Storytellers in the San Francisco Bay area. The winners will be on stage that night as the Best of Body. It's a really special night. If you're gonna fly in, that's the one to fly in for the 12 year anniversary show. It's not Saturday night. It's a big show. Two shows back to back and I'd love to have you there. If you have questions or if you'd like to pitch me a story. I'm Dixie@bodystorytelling.com you can go to our website bodystorytelling.com to buy tickets and I'M gonna see you in person really soon. I hope. It's time to say thank you. Thank you to podcast producer Marty Garcia, to project manager Dana Hannah, to sound engineer David Grossoff, to video producer and archivist Joe Moore. And a special thank you goes out to you. I am sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour, and you have been listening to the bawdy storytelling podcast. Here's a peek at what's next.
- [45:56]
April Kidwell
And then finally, he says, listen, I hope this doesn't matter or anything, but I thought it might be important to.
- [46:01]
Dixie de La Tour
Tell you how old I am. And I was like, oh, God, I'm not sure where this is going. He goes, I am but 20. And I said, I'm a little older than that.