Bawdy Storytelling – Episode 54: "The Expiration Date"

Guest Storyteller: Kristin Pedemonti
Release Date: December 26, 2018
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Location Recorded: Baltimore Bawdy Storytelling (live show, East Coast tour)

Episode Overview

This episode features professional storyteller Kristin Pedemonti in her debut Bawdy Storytelling performance. She shares a funny, honest, and empowering journey about confronting age, sexuality, and desirability as she enters her 50s. Through the lens of an unexpected trip to a tantric festival, Kristin’s tale explores late sexual blooming, confronting shame and trauma, and ultimately finding liberation, confidence, and connection.

Theme:
Feeling “past your expiration date” and discovering renewed sexual empowerment as a woman approaching 50.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to Kristin and the "Expiration Date" Question

• [03:39] Kristin opens by asking, “Has anyone here ever felt past their expiration date?”
• Establishes the emotional thesis: feeling undesired or invisible with age.

2. Entering the Tantra Festival: Pushing Boundaries

• Kristin recounts receiving a last-minute invite to a tantra immersion festival for her 50th birthday.
• Describes how unexpected and out-of-character this decision was:
  “If you would have told me I was going to a tantra immersion festival, I would have told you you were out of your fucking mind.” [05:05]
• She’s honest about insecurity:
  “I was turning 50 and feeling past my expiration date…and I can tell you I was feeling anything but hot and anything but sexy and anything but desirable.” [05:35]

3. The Opening Experiential Exercises

• Led by "Luba," a charismatic facilitator, the group (~200 people) is guided through confidence-boosting exercises:

  • Walk like your cock is “as big as the entire room”
  • Walk as if your pussy “is as big as the entire universe”
  • Imagine “everyone here wants to have sex with you right now,” noticing the shift in body language.

• Humor and surrealism mark the storytelling.

• Kristin openly shares insecurities transmuted into confidence through these exercises.

  Quote:

  “All of a sudden, holy shit, I do feel like everyone in the room wants to have sex with me.” [06:40]

4. Reclaiming Sexuality in Her 40s

• Kristin claims her sexual awakening came late in life; didn’t feel "pretty" until 40, and didn’t have “mind-blowing” sex until 41. [07:25]

• Stories about:

  • A spontaneous hookup in Belize at 38 with a much younger man.
  • Playful “crotch surfing” stories via couchsurfing in NYC.
  • Sexual adventures at Burning Man at 48, including an introduction to shibari (Japanese rope bondage).

  Quote:

  “The best part was when he would slide that safety shears up through the rope and slowly set me free. And then I got to tie him up. Yeah, but I digress.” [09:40]

• Her first orgasm from penetration occurred at 48, adding to the anxiety: was sexual excitement already ending?

  Quote:

  “I was thinking, oh my god, is this all there is? Like, is that it? I get that one decade and then, boom, the door closes. Shit.” [10:35]

5. Experiencing Personal and Collective Healing

• At the tantra festival, deeper exercises prompt introspection and self-release.

• Group exercise: “Shake all the trauma out.” Kristin describes the cathartic escalation from discomfort, to anger (confronting past molestation at age 4), to compassion—for herself, and even for her abusers.

• The environment feels safe even amidst intense emotion.

  Quote:

  “I’m screaming too. But it doesn’t feel unsafe. It feels so good. It feels like this release. And I’m getting rid of all that crap. And I feel powerful, and I feel so in control, and I feel great.” [12:25]

• The group is led into a meditation with ocean sounds, “washed completely clean.” [13:05]

6. Learning to Ask for What You Want

• Advanced partner activities: participants can only touch others if asked, learning both to request and to offer touch mindfully.

• Kristin partners with a voluptuous 20-something woman:

  • She asks for gentle touches, ear-breathing, ass massage—explicitly vocalizing her desires.
  • The experience is mutual, nurturing, and healing.

• The festival concludes with a massive cuddle party among 450 participants, feeling warmth and desirability from all sides.

  Quote:

  “I walked in feeling like I was not desirable. And I walked in feeling like I was past my expiration date. Are you fucking kidding me? I left that tantra festival…so empowered.” [15:12]

7. Direct Outcomes: Transformation & Confidence

• Post-festival, Kristin feels confident and attractive.

  • Posts on Facebook: “Who wants to go on a date?” gets 10 replies.
  • Sets up a date with a longtime crush, tries her first play party.

  Quote:

  “If anyone here is feeling past your expiration date, I am illustration that you ain’t – rock it.” [16:04]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On late sexual blooming:

  “The first time I had an orgasm from penetration, I was 48, and holy shit, I was turning 50. And I was thinking, oh my god, is this all there is?” [10:35]

• On self-reclamation at the festival:

  “It feels so good. It feels like this release. And I’m getting rid of all that crap. And I feel powerful, and I feel so in control, and I feel great.” [12:25]

• Post-festival empowerment:

  “Ten people responded [to my Facebook post]. Both men and women. I’m going out with a guy tomorrow night that I’ve had a crush on for 20 fucking years… I am illustration that you ain’t [past your expiration date]. Rock it.” [15:35]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening / context / about the series: 00:16–03:25
• Kristin’s Story Begins (question about expiration date): 03:39
• Tantra exercises and personal insecurity: 05:00–07:00
• Stories of late-blooming sexuality & first orgasm: 07:20–10:50
• Tantric festival catharsis (trauma release): 11:00–13:20
• Learning to ask for and give what you want: 13:25–15:10
• Festival aftermath and empowered conclusion: 15:12–16:16

Tone & Style

• Highly candid, humorous, self-deprecating but ultimately triumphant and encouraging.
• Speaks directly about sexual vulnerability and joy, trauma and healing, always with audacity and laughter.
• Warm, celebratory, sex-positive spirit.

Conclusion

Kristin’s story on Bawdy Storytelling is a powerful reminder that sexual self-discovery and personal transformation are not constrained by age, past trauma, or societal expectations. By saying yes to a crazy, last-minute festival invite, Kristin shattered her own internal “expiration date.” Her journey is not just about sex; it’s about agency, articulation, healing, and feeling alive at every age. This episode leaves listeners feeling empowered, entertained, and inspired to embrace their own desires—no matter when, or how, they bloom.