Episode 70: ‘F. Scott Surprise’ (Shawn Silverman)

Summary

Bawdy Storytelling – Episode 70: ‘F. Scott Surprise’ (Shawn Silverman)

Episode Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling, hosted by sexual folklorist Dixie De La Tour, features storyteller Shawn Silverman as he recounts his adventures exploring kink and sexual liberation after ending a long-term, monogamous relationship. With classic Bawdy humor and explicit honesty, Shawn’s story navigates themes of sexual awakening, BDSM dynamics, and one especially memorable tribute set at the gravesite of literary giant F. Scott Fitzgerald. The story is rich with vulnerabilities, humor, and insight into the evolution of sexual identity—making for both a poignant and outrageous adventure.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Arc

1. A New Beginning After Heartbreak

[02:50] – [05:40]

• Shawn returns home on his 28th birthday to find his partner of seven years gone and a steel case left behind: “one of those beaded stainless steel rods for shoving up your ass.”
• The breakup is mutual in its necessity: his ex needed to live her queer truth; Shawn craved kinkier sex.
• Shawn reflects: “I really wish she’d figured it out before we’d signed all the mortgage paperwork, though.”
• Inspired by post-breakup advice, Shawn dives into missed experiences—from home décor to fried chicken to casual hookups.

2. Online Connections and the Flapper Philosopher

[05:40] – [07:40]

• Rediscovering OkCupid, Shawn crafts a profile blending “Marxist feminist politics” and kink interests.
• An algorithm pairs him with Nikki, a self-described “flapper philosopher,” with shared tastes in literature and adventurous food.
• Their witty online exchange blooms into meeting for drinks. Nikki is compelling: “tall...long dirty blonde hair...blue rectangle rim glasses and a very low cut dress with very large tits.”
• They quickly begin dating, chemistry fueled by a shared sense of humor and sexual curiosity.

3. First Steps Into the Kink Scene

[07:41] – [10:45]

• Nikki initiates Shawn into kink, revealing both her masochistic desires and her history: “scars on her back from a flesh hook suspension... pictures on her fetlife of needle play.”
• She teaches him about “risk aware, consensual kink”—a step beyond the familiar “safe, sane and consensual.”
• Together, they explore a host of new experiences: public sex, ass play, bondage, saran wrap mummification, and degradation play (“...write mean things about her with markers and also with the Wartenberg wheel.”)
• Shawn openly credits Nikki as his “kink mentor,” playfully narrating their escalating escapades.

4. Switching Roles and Deepening Experience

[10:45] – [12:00]

• The couple realizes that “if I was going to be doming all the time, this just wasn’t going to last.”
• Leaning on Nikki’s experience, Shawn is introduced to submission—his first experiences being tied up, face-fucked with a strap-on, and even enduring a rope rig involving his ponytail and an anal hook.
• Shawn, reflecting on one invention: “I’d recommend that to literally anyone. Like, grow your hair out or whatever you need to do.”

5. The ‘F. Scott Surprise’ – The Climax

[12:01] – [13:35]

• Shawn orchestrates a dramatic surprise for Nikki: blindfolding her, binding her wrists, and driving her to a mystery location at night.
• After some wayfinding mishaps (“miracle she didn’t trip over something”), he leads her, still blindfolded, to a granite slab.
• He pushes her “down to her knees on a cold granite slab.” Their play intensifies despite the cold.
• At the moment of disclosure, Shawn removes her blindfold to reveal: “coins and flowers and books and the granite slab beneath her, which read: ‘So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.’...Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda.”
• Nikki is ecstatic; both agree: “F. Scott would have been really pleased with this tribute.”
• The story ends with more passionate sex in the car and back home: “She sucked my dick like a pro while fucking my ass with a dildo until I flooded her mouth for the first time in my life.”

6. Reflection and Life Beyond the Story

[13:36] – [14:33]

• The relationship soon ends, but with positive outcomes. Nikki finds her dream dom; Shawn embraces a “poly queer lifestyle.”
• “...after seven years of a pretty vanilla marriage and her spending most of her adult life in a dungeon, I could still find some ways to surprise her.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[My ex] left me a birthday present in a steel case...one of those beaded stainless steel rods for shoving up your ass.” (Shawn, 02:52)
• “She was the first person to finger my ass while blowing me.” (Shawn, 09:00)
• “She taught me a lot about risk aware, consensual kink. Which is not a thing I’d ever heard of.” (Shawn, 08:45)
• “One day she came over, I was pre tied up and she tied a piece of rope to my hair...and the other end of the rope to an anal hook...whenever my butt wasn’t getting fucked too hard, my neck hurt. I’d recommend that to literally anyone.” (Shawn, 11:27)
• “I pushed Nikki down to her knees on a cold granite slab...when she heard me unzip, she was ecstatic.” (Shawn, 12:16)
• “The granite slab beneath her...read: So we beat on like boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” (Shawn, 12:40)
• “She told some of her friends what I’d done and they described it as a life story–altering sex, which was a bucket list item I didn’t know I had.” (Shawn, 14:30)
• “...I could still find some ways to surprise her.” (Shawn, 14:32)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:50] Shawn’s breakup, kinky birthday gift, and beginning of sexual reawakening
• [05:40] Creation of new OkCupid profile, meeting Nikki
• [07:40] Nikki introduces Shawn to risk-aware, consensual kink and BDSM play
• [10:45] Exploration of switching roles and advanced BDSM scenarios
• [12:01] The “F. Scott Surprise”: the public sex act at Fitzgerald’s grave
• [13:36] Reflections on the past, relationship closure, new communities

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Tone & Style

The tone throughout is candid, humorous, sometimes self-deprecating and always sex-positive, mirroring the ethos of the Bawdy Storytelling podcast. Shawn is earnest and matter-of-fact about the explicit details, openly sharing his process of discovery without shame or bravado. Dixie’s introductions frame the episode with warmth and celebration of genuine sexual narrative.

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Final Thoughts

“F. Scott Surprise” is a celebratory account of rediscovering authentic sexual joy after loss, set against the backdrop of queer, kinky, and literary subculture. The episode champions exploration, communication, and creativity, all delivered in Bawdy’s signature entertaining and insightful style. Listeners, whether experienced or new to kink, will find both humor and humanity in Shawn’s journey, making for a memorable chapter in the Bawdy Storytelling series.

Transcript

[Dixie de La Tour]

Spring's here, but are you still feeling a chill? Warm up with Kama Sutra's Kissable Oil of Love. Not a massage oil or a lubricant, but a delicious and exciting way to savor your partner. Use its elegant dropper to anoint their erogenous zones and then lightly blow on the oil for a gentle warming sensation. Follow with kisses. And now you're enjoying any of those six sweet flavors too. Is it getting hot in here? More on Kama Sutra and some big savings later on in the podcast.

[Poet or Performer]

All of my life I've never fit But I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous get used to it Tells me I'm too much maybe it's just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm supposed to be.

[Chorus or Backup Vocalist]

Hey, my.

[Poet or Performer]

Vagina is eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just run and hide. My vagina is 8 miles.

[Chorus or Backup Vocalist]

Why.

[Dixie de La Tour]

I am sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour and you are listening to the Bawdi Storytelling Podcast and when you come back later and you try and remember which one was the one that had that crazy good thing that happened in that weird place. That one. This One is episode 70. You ready to hear a story? This storyteller told very recently at Bawdy Storytelling in Seattle. He identifies as a nihilistic hedonist, which may be why he's been the subject of one of the stories chosen at Best of Body in Seattle recently. He's been a co conspirator in many of the stories from the Seattle perv and kink community that we've had shared on our stage. But this was the first time he got on stage himself to tell a story. This storyteller is Shawn silverman.

[Shawn Silverman]

On my 28th birthday, I came home to find that my ex had packed most of her things and left me a birthday present in a steel case. And when I opened the steel clasps on it, I found one of those beaded stainless steel rods for shoving up your ass. We'd been together for over seven years when she decided that she couldn't really live her truth in a hetero performative relationship any longer and couldn't really be anything other than monogamous. And she didn't really think that I could deal with not having kinkier sex for much longer. So when she left, I had a long list of things that I'd been wanting to try and one of the things people tell you when you end a long relationship that you didn't necessarily want to end is that you should do all the things that you couldn't do because you were with that person. Like rearrange the furniture and make fried chicken, make the whole house smell like fryer grease and have random guys over from Craigslist. I really wish she'd figured it out before we'd signed all the mortgage paperwork, though. We just bought a house in Rockville, Maryland, which is a town best known for the R.E.M song Don't Go Back to Rockville. Now, at the time, I think this was before Grindr, or right at the leading edge of Grindr. And I still think that at the time, it was the best way to get random guys, or Craigslist was the best way to get random guys over. And I know Dixie really likes it, but I'd always been more comfortable on OkCupid. And so pretty quickly afterwards, I opened a new account. It had changed a lot since. Since my ex and I met there. It was mostly a personality quiz site. I don't know if you guys remember that far back. And so I answered a few questions about my Marxist feminist politics and what kind of kinks I wanted to try. And pretty quickly. This algorithm was 99% sure that I'd enjoy the company of a flapper philosopher. And her essays had me pretty interested. She opened with I like Israelis and then she listed a bunch of other nationalities, but she listed mine first. And I'm already into this kind of fetishization. She was clearly into books and good ones. She listed my favorite Asimov that very few people have heard of, and a lot of my favorite classics. I looked up the F. Scott Fitzgerald story she was punning about and her username, and it was pretty good. She was into some pretty serious board games. Not like Twilight Imperium Serious, but, you know, enough that we could like hang out. And in her favorite foods, she gave me a really good opening. She said that she loved tzabich, which is a kind of fried eggplant in a pita you can get in Israel. So I asked where she had it and if she wanted a local source and a few messages back and forth. And I met Nikki for drinks. She was tall and had like long dirty blonde hair in a low ponytail and was wearing these blue rectangle rim glasses and a very low cut dress with very large tits. And a few drinks in, she wanted to go to a park and she showed me a statue of Dante Alighieri and I asked if she wanted to make out so we started dating pretty quickly. I found out that Nikki is what's called in the kink scene masochist. She had scars on her back from a flesh hook suspension and pictures on her fet life of needle play. She was one of those people who ask you to hit them when you were fucking them. And when you didn't hit her hard enough, she would ask if you had something to hit her with. And so, you know, she taught me a lot about risk aware, consensual kink. Which is not a thing I'd ever heard of. I'd always heard that the kinky folks were into a safe, sane and consensual. And some of Nicky's fantasies were like breaking bones and getting shot through with arrows. It's a natural escalation of needle play. She took me to my first kink happy hour. And it was clear that if we stayed together there would be a lot more kink events in my future. And we ran through a lot of my firsts. One day, coming home from the subway to my house, she had me pull her into a park, like a little wooded area. And I pushed her down on her knees and she gave me a job next to this bubbling creek. She had a great time. The. The pictures of her knees covered in forest detritus are still on her fetlife. She was the first person to finger my ass while blowing me. She was the. Yeah, she was the first person I ever hit with an implement. She. One day she brought rope over to my house and instructed me in tying her up. And that was fun. But then one day she found my packing Saran wrap and instructed me in mummifying her. She was also into degradation. She had me write mean things about her with markers and also with the Wartenberg wheel. So, you know, we had a really good time. But eventually we realized that if I was going to be doming all the time, this just wasn't going to last. And she drew on her years of experience subbing to go through some more excellent firsts. She was the first person to fuck my face with a strap on. She was the first person to tie me up. And one day I. One day she came over, I was pre tied up and she tied a piece of rope to my hair. I had a long ponytail at the time and the other end of the rope to an anal hook. And the rope was just a little too short so that whenever my butt wasn't getting fucked too hard, my neck hurt. And I'd recommend that to literally anyone. Like grow your, grow your Hair out or whatever you need to do. One day she fucked me in the ass so hard that I complained about it. And so she measured the strap on and measured my dick and declared herself the butt sex champion. But pretty much everything we were doing that was new to me was old hat to Nikki. But one day I had this idea. So it was like after dark on a cold day in November when she came over and I blindfolded her at my door and tied her wrists together and threw her in the backseat of my car. And I drove around for a little while, in part because I thought it would be fun and in part because I genuinely had never driven where we were going. I got a little lost, pulled into. I eventually found it. I pulled into a parking space. I pulled her out of the car and put my phone in flashlight mode and started walking around. And honestly, it's a miracle she didn't trip over something. We were walking around in, like, circles because I just couldn't find this thing. And I'd read an article in the post or DCist or something, and the GPS on my phone said that it was here somewhere and there it was. And I pushed Nikki down to her knees on a cold granite slab. And when she heard me unzip, she was ecstatic and she was like. And I was like, oh, what do you want? And she said, your dick in my mouth, Please. And I said, are you sure? I can't really tell. And she said, please, please fuck my face. And I was like, okay. So I pulled my dick out and let her lips to it and she immediately tried to deep throat me. And then she started bobbing up and down, but it was cold and she was, like, slobbering, and it was dripping down to my balls and it was, like, cold and windy and wet. So, like, after a few minutes of this, I was like, hey, so do you want to know where we are? And she nodded with, like, you know, my dick in her mouth.

[Podcast Host or Interviewer]

So.

[Shawn Silverman]

So I took her blindfold off and put my phone back in flashlight mode and pulled her by her hair off of my crotch. And so she could see all the coins and flowers and books and the granite slab beneath her, which read. So we beat on like boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. And the granite slab in front of her, which read Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda, she was ecstatic. We agreed that F. Scott would have been really pleased with this tribute to him. And she really wanted to finish what she'd started. So I led her back to the car and she put my dick back in her mouth and so I had to drive carefully back home. Pulled her by the hair off of my crotch and got into bed and she sucked my dick like a pro while like fucking my ass with a dildo until I flooded her mouth for the first time in my life. Flooded someone's mouth with Cummings. It ended a few weeks after that, but before it did, she told some of her friends what I'd done and they described it as a life story altering sex which was a bucket list item I didn't know I had. I'm pretty sure Nikki has found the dom of her dreams and I found the sort of poly queer lifestyle of mine. So it was pretty great that after seven years of a pretty vanilla marriage and her spending most of her adult life in a dungeon, I could still find some ways to surprise her.

[Singer or Performer]

Talk about love, man. My first time was with the Spirit girl Paulette. Forget about it. We did it in a graveyard. First time we made love it was a great big deal. I was too scared to feel nervous from trying. Next time we made love, still we were not a hit. Oh, I thought of this. This is it. The April one's lying. But then we did it again.

[Dixie de La Tour]

And.

[Singer or Performer]

I forgot to be scared I guess cuz when we did it again I closed my eyes Surprise, surprise.

[Chorus or Backup Vocalist]

Surprise.

[Singer or Performer]

Surprise.

[Chorus or Backup Vocalist]

Surprise, surprise.

[Singer or Performer]

Surprise Sweet icicle hot Smooth as a lemon pie spring Sailing across the sky into the ocean.

[Chorus or Backup Vocalist]

The wheel.

[Singer or Performer]

I did a lot, you can't imagine why we had begun to fly Feelings in motion and then we did it again. I'm thinking it was a beginner's luck or is it wonderful?

[Chorus or Backup Vocalist]

Once in it's the ring true.

[Dixie de La Tour]

First.

[Singer or Performer]

Time.

[Chorus or Backup Vocalist]

Again.

[Singer or Performer]

So I close my eyes.

[Chorus or Backup Vocalist]

Sam.

[Singer or Performer]

It was a sweet surprise Icicle hot smooth as a Raymond pie Surprise, surprise Surprise Surprise Surprise surprise.

[Dixie de La Tour]

The song you just heard, Surprise surprise was from a chorus lines soundtrack.

[Shawn Silverman]

Discover Pleasure Dungeon.

[Dixie de La Tour]

Here's a question. Who invented foreplay? It's hard to tell, but Kama Sutra created the foreplay market with its very first product, Oil of Love. I mean, they got 50 years of experience and have been making love better since 1969, so I'm gonna vote for them. Their original Oil of Love was developed to heighten sensitivity, increase arousal and enhance orgasms. And I'm a fan of all those things. Their kissable water based foreplay oil warms on the skin. So use the Elegant Dropper to deliver any of their six sexy flavors to you or your partner. Flavors like Raspberry Kiss, Vanilla Cream, Tingly Original Tropical Mango, Coconut Pineapple, or their best seller, Strawberry Dreams. And all of them pair perfectly with Kama Sutra's Honey Dust Powder. Do you know of another foreplay method that's DSA approved? Cause I sure don't. And right now, just because you're bawdy, you can get 20% off anything you order when you use the promo code dixie. And not just for Oil of Love or their famous Honey Dust Powder on anything. Want to get better at making love? Go to Kamasutra.com right now and use the code DIXIE at checkout to get 20% off. I beseech thee. Support us on Patreon. Patreon is a way to support the projects that you love, that you want to see continue. Kickstarter's for like one of them one time things. But Patreon means that a podcast, which comes out weekly. It's coming out Winkley, y'. All. Did you ever think that was gonna happen? I didn't think that's gonna happen. I'm so proud of the record we have for delivering these stories to you every week. It's a lot of work. It costs money to produce this thing. If you'd like to support us, if you'd like to keep this thing going, I need your help. Go to P a t r e o-n.com b a w d Y and support us. Whatever you can do helps ensure that we can keep doing this. We can keep delivering these stories that are heard in cities where you're not and maybe even come to you. So just like the folks who showed up at Bodi Storytelling in Seattle for the live show this week who traveled from long distances. Live Body is so different than the podcast. There's so much more. There's bango, there's games, there's sexy cocktails that are so fun to sidle up to. Somebody hunt and go. I'll be having the cbt thank you. Or the Ethical Slut or the Body Got me Laid. But at a live show, you get to meet other people like you, hear their stories and go home knowing that the world is a better place because we all come together. So I'm gonna tell you about an upcoming live body storytelling shows. This week we have Gateway Drug in San Francisco at the Verdi Club. We have some incredible stories in this show. We have a brand new musical guest, Dr. Stryker, and I'm really excited about that. So go to bodystriketelling.com shows and get your tickets right away because it's Thursday, April 18th. That's any minute. Now on May 17th in San Francisco, we got Unicorn Fest. And I am working hard to make this one extra weird. Weird is good for me. We are going to have unicorn related activities and we're gonna have stories and it's gonna be a big Friday night Show on Friday, May 17. Tickets are online now and they're selling fast. Then don't forget, I'm gonna be putting tickets up soon for our Folsom Street Fair Show. Sunday, September 29th. After you've been out in the sun, wearing your leather, getting all sweaty at the world's largest kink event, you can come on over to bawdy storytelling, for sexy cocktails and to flirt. You're already dressed up. Why not? A lot of people fly in for Folsom Street Fair. They come in from all over the world. So we're a destination. They're a destination. Two great tastes that taste great together, right? We have a show coming up in Seattle on May 9th. The theme is Libertine. I got pitches, but I don't have your pitch yet. I'd really like to have you on stage in Seattle on May 9th. That's a Thursday, so send your story to dixieodistorytelling.com. how do you pitch me so easy? On your phone, you have a thing called the Voice Memo. You are just going to tell me your story. Beginning, middle and end. You're just telling me. You're not telling everybody. We work together. I coach you, we make it beautiful. You get on stage, you get a standing ovation. Your life's changed forever. It's simple, really. So those are upcoming shows for body storytelling. I really hope to see you at a live show soon. I'm a grateful Southern girl and I like to say thank you and this could not happen without the help of the following people. Podcast producer Marty Garcia, who makes it sound so fucking good. Video archivist Joe Moore. Project manager Dana Hanna. Sound engineer David Grossoff. And it wouldn't work if you weren't listening. Thank you to you for listening, for sharing, for reviewing, writing us a review that would rock my fucking world. All of those things make this podcast grow. And that's my dream. Thank you for listening because you're insatiable. I want to introduce you to a new sex positive podcast, Sex Talk with My mom is a mother and son talking frankly about sex. And the role reversal between them will surprise you. Not just that they're about to celebrate their 200th episode right this fucking minute. So go over and listen to Sex Talk with my mom. You can Find it anywhere you listen to podcasts. Cam and his mom, Karen Lee, she's a cougar. I see her at the cougar meetings when I'm in la. Will blow your mind. It's a really fun podcast and here's a sample of it.

[Podcast Host or Interviewer]

Right now, it's uncomfortable to talk about sex, but sometimes it's important to get uncomfortable. Sex Talk with My mom is the best mom son podcast about sex.

[Co-host or Interviewer]

It is the only one as well.

[Podcast Host or Interviewer]

My mother is a cougar.

[Co-host or Interviewer]

My son is a clown.

[Podcast Host or Interviewer]

In a nutshell, my dad died, so my mother decided to create a YouTube channel all about sex, like all mothers do.

[Co-host or Interviewer]

And then my son decides to use my material in his stand up comedy routines.

[Podcast Host or Interviewer]

And thus Sex Talk with My mom was born. Each week we interview comedians. She starts sucking my dick and I'm like, whoa. I guess pornos are real.

[Co-host or Interviewer]

We also talk to sex experts.

[Dixie de La Tour]

I could bottom in a really dominant way. I could be like, pick up that flogger and hit me with it now.

[Podcast Host or Interviewer]

And we also talked to our ex lovers. I was not that experienced with fingering. So we start that experience. I wasn't that experienced. I. I'm picking up from like what I've seen on porn, which is hovering.

[Dixie de La Tour]

He was hoverboarding it.

[Podcast Host or Interviewer]

We've been featured in Esquire magazine and.

[Co-host or Interviewer]

The Today show at Second City in Chicago.

[Podcast Host or Interviewer]

Subscribe to Sex Talk with my Mom.