MC Crumb Snatcher (7:07)

You got that?

AC Lobo (7:10)

This is hard. All right, you guys. So some of you guys might be shocked by this and others may not even believe this, but I really like getting fucked. I like fucking. I love sex. And in fact, I'm something that is commonly referred to in the gay community as a sex pig. I love to get down and dirty and have uninhibited, wild, freaky, sticky, messy, smelly man sex. But coming to a place where I could stand on a stage in front of a room full of people that I can't fucking see. It took some work. You know, growing up in a Latino family where I happened to be fat and queer. Not the butchest thing in the world. Exactly. Shocking. I know. I'll pay you later. So I struggled, like, struggled with my sexuality and I struggled with body image and I struggled with insecurity and I felt shame around my sex and the kind of sex that I wanted. So when I discovered crystal meth, I felt like I had been set free. Because when I was high, that committee of critics in my head was silent. When I was high, I felt sexy and I felt confident and I felt powerful. Add on top of that that when you're high on crystal meth, it gave me the permission that I needed. That I thought that I needed to explore these kind of kinky desires that I had that I was too ashamed to explore. Plus, when you are on crystal meth, it allows you to have sex not just for hours, but literally days on end. Eventually, the fun wasn't fun anymore. I'd been working for many years as an American Sign Language interpreter, and I loved that work. I was super passionate about it. It was a huge part of my identity. And I lost that work because of my addiction. I lost family, I lost friends. And one day I woke up and I looked around and I thought, how the fuck did I get here? And how the fuck do I get out of this? And I knew I needed help, so I got that help. I got sober and Slow Vodka? No. So I got sober. And I got sober through the help of the Rims of Crystal meth Anonymous and 12 Step Recovery. And I remember being in a meeting very early on during that time, and I remember there was a gentleman who was sharing his story, and he was talking to the audience, and he's told us, you know, hey, you guys, like, I know what you're going through. I know that you think that you'll never have good sex again. You'll never have kinky sex. You'll never have amazing sex. And I'm here to tell you that that's bullshit. I am sober, and I have the most amazing, kinkiest, dirtiest sex that I've ever had. And I thought to myself, fuck you, dude. Like, what the fuck? Like, what do you know? Like, obviously you're a, you're lying, B, you didn't use the way I used, or C, maybe it did work for you, but it's not gonna work for me. It's not. Because literally, you know, sex on meth for me was like, I got to watch my favorite movie on a brand new 4K television with beautiful color and vibrant color and all this amazing sounds. And then someone takes that away from you and tells me that for the rest of my life I have to watch that movie on a black and white TV with rabbit ears. Eventually, I did start incorporating sex back into my life. And it wasn't great at first, you know, and it got a little better. And it got a little better. And one of the guys that I had sex with was called Matt. And I met Matt on a gentleman's hookup site called Scruff, because I'm a lady. And when I first met Matt online, I thought, I don't know if this is gonna work. I don't know that he's we're gonna be a match. Because he wasn't really. You know, I typically go for somebody who's a little bit beefier, a little bit burlier, and he was more Frodo from the Shire. But his profile name really caught my attention. It was huge. Cummer. Even more so when he sent me a message and was like, bro, I want to breed you. I come fucking buckets full and my cock is going to pulse and you're going to feel it every time I shoot in your ass. And I was like, ding dong, hey, I'm here. That was me. We were talking online. So one day, after we had finished playing around, he had come. I was drenched. He starts telling me about his plans to bring this sex party to San Francisco. And it was based on a sex party that happens in Berlin called the Horse Fair. And I'm like, wait a minute, wait, you mean the Horse Fair from Berlin? He's like, yeah. I'm like, the Horse Fair in Berlin, where there are stallions who are tops and mares who are bottoms? He's like, yeah, that's the one. I'm gonna do it here. I'm like, the Horse Fair, where there's stallions and there's mayors, and the stallions fuck whichever mayor they want, and the mayors can't say no, and they're hooded and they can't see who the fuck is fucking them. He's like, yeah. And I'm like, oh, no, I'm not gonna go to that. Because. Because there was a huge part of me that really didn't wanna go. Because in my head, I'm like, you can't go to that. That's something you used to fantasize about when you were using meth. You're not that person. You're sober now. You can't do that freaky stuff. That's not. You need crystal meth, you know, that's not what you do. But there was another part of me, the smaller part was like, no, fuck that. You can go like you're sober. You didn't get sober to fucking be boring. Go. So a couple days go by and I'm actually upstairs at my house and I'm on the computer and I'm on the website for the thing. And there's two options. There's one for a stallion ticket and there's one for a mare ticket. And I've got the mouse and I am fucking hovering. And then my roommate Dolan walks in. And Dolan is kind of. He looks kind of like a cross between if you know Eric from True Blood, and Pete Zamper's had a baby, but with a lovely temperament. Like, he's amazing. So he comes in and he's like, what's going on? I tell him what's going on, and he's like, look, this is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna write stallion on one piece of paper, and I'm gonna write mayor on the other. We're gonna do this. You're gonna select one, and that's what you're gonna go as. And I'm like, I have no better ideas. Fuck it. So he does it, and I select. I pick the left, and he goes. He opens his hand, and there on that crumpled piece of paper, it's a stallion. And I went, oh. And he went, that's it. Clearly, you want to go as a mayor, you fucking whore. You're going as a fucking mayor. Click. So I bought the mayor ticket because it's his fault, right? He told me I had to jump. So now it's the day of. And I'm fucking pacing around the house. You know, his husband Mark is like, would you fucking calm down? And I'm like, like. And so I'm pacing back and for. And finally it's time to go. And I'm fucking trying to time shit out. I'm like, okay, when do I start douching? How deep do I douche? Do I douche now? Do I douche later? Because, you know, bottoming in a public sex space is not a fucking easy trick, right? You don't want any accidents. And for you, tops, appreciate your fucking bottoms. There's a lot of work that goes into that shit. All right? So shit does happen, but we don't want it to happen. All right? So I'm ready. I go. I go to the space. The space is at this great public dungeon that you guys can rent, you kinky fuckers. It's called Catalyst. It's on in soma, on Folso. So walk in. There's a gentleman there. He's lovely. He helps me with my clothes, puts it in a bag, puts a number on the bag, puts a number on my ass in permanent marker, because later. And they take a picture of it, because later they're gonna vote on who the best mayor was. Go me. So I walk into the place, you know, it's a dungeon. It's got slings, it's got fuck benches, it's got cages, it's got St. Andrew's crosses, places to mummify people, the whole nine yards. Right. There's probably about 30 other mayor's bottoms there. And I'm in jock straps, some naked. And we're kind of milling about and just kind of like staring at each other like cats in a bag. Like, because we're looking. We're checking out the competition, right? And I'm looking around, I'm like, I'm not the worst, right? So. So they tell us, okay, it's time to put your hood on. We're going to. They have monitors, like, hood monitors. They're going to come and you're going to, you know, monitor, and they put your hood on, and they say they're going to let the tops in. So I'm excited. I'm nervous. It's that thing. It's like the adult kinky version of that fear when you're a kid and you have a birthday party and you're afraid no one will come. That part. So I hear boots coming in. I can't hear anything. I'm, like, trying to present myself really well. Like, oh, I was just stretching. My shoe's untied. So anyway, so people come in, and slowly I start hearing, you know, moans and groans and that. Like, have you ever made a pot of Mac and cheese? You had to stir it like that sound, like, yeah. So stuff starts happening, right? And it seems like a really long time. And I'm like, no one's fucking touched me right away. That committee of critics in my head, you're unfuckable. No one's coming to your party. Blah, blah, blah. Right? I know. So I'm like, okay, how the fuck do I get out of this with any dignity? Was there a back door? Do I bolt naked? Like, so just before I'm about to bolt, I feel someone. They cut my balls and they tweak my nipple, and they lead me over to, like, a flat space, and they lay me down and they start fucking me. And it's awesome. This guy, then he comes, and soon afterwards, another guy starts pounding me. And then he leads me over to one of the slings and puts me in the sling. And I can't see anything, mind you. So everything is just. You know that thing where they say that when you're blind, you can see better or you can hear better and vice versa. I really felt like I could feel every nook and cranny on his dick and all that stuff. So he's fucking me, and then he comes and he leans over and is like, hey, I'm gonna take a break. Thanks. I had a great time there's. A line. So I'm like, oh, fuck. People are waiting. People. I'm thinking, people are waiting for this thing. I'm so rude. I'm taking it. Then he's like, no, no. They're like the line for people to fuck you. And before I even had a chance to, like, react, somebody was sliding their dick inside me. And, you know, the night went on. And after I had literally had my fill, I lost count of how many guys fucked me. No, I'm kidding. It was 15. So I put, you know, I get ready and I put. Put my clothes on. And the amazing thing, I couldn't stop smiling. And the amazing thing is. And the irony was that thing that I was looking for, those feelings I felt when I was leaving there. And I felt sexy and I felt confident and I felt powerful. And I tasted that real freedom. The freedom to just let go and be in the moment and not worry about what people thought of me. And that feeling of, yeah, I'm okay. These kinks, these. Whatever it is that is, it's mine and it's okay. Thanks.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:09)

Double tap that ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:12)

Double tap it, double tap it, Double.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:16)

Tap that ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:19)

Double tap it, Double tap it, Double tap it.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:22)

I wanna fuck you in the ass. Yeah, I saw your butt pick when I was scrolling past a whip was juicy and round. It looked like hours of fun. It looked like two round melons laying out in the sun.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:33)

It was a Georgia peach.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:35)

It was a beautiful find. A whip must be an onion baby. Cause it's making me cry and it was making me hot. My pants are starting to lift. Your butt's a killer, baby boy and you are making me smile. Double tap that ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:49)

Double tap it, Double tap it.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:52)

Double tap that ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:55)

D D Double tap it, double tap it.

MC Crumb Snatcher (19:58)

Oh, it must be my birthday Cause you're bringing me cakes I'll give you 69 likes if you sit on my face. You got that booty for days I got that wiener for weeks? And if you rub me right My bubbly might just spray on your sheet. And if your butthole was a glove I'd be the first perfect fit. Oh, you could call me OJ Cuz I kill the out of it. I ain't got time for lubrication I'm just using spit. Pull it out real slow make your booty say.

AC Lobo (20:25)

Double tap it, double tap.

MC Crumb Snatcher (20:27)

That ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (20:29)

Double tap it, double tap it.

MC Crumb Snatcher (20:32)

Double tap that ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (20:35)

Double tap it, double tap it or.

MC Crumb Snatcher (20:39)

I'll make your dick explode. You're like a washing machine because you're taking my load. Girl, I ain't packing a show. It's like a magic wand. I'll take my Dumbledic, Give it a second till you're great. Beyond now where my mama ain't Louisiana, Daddy isn't Alabama. I just wanna take your booty, slam it with my meaty hammer. I just wanna tap so hard, just shaking, shaking like a grandma. I just wanna hit it so they lock my ass up in the slammer. You could call me bulge packer, you could call me Cash Stacker. I be throwing balls around us like a fucking quarterback. You could call me dick whacker, me cross, Just don't call me if you only want me to tap at once. Cuz I will double to double to.

AC Lobo (21:16)

Double, double double tap it.

MC Crumb Snatcher (21:18)

Double tap that ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (21:21)

Double tap it. Double tap it.

MC Crumb Snatcher (21:24)

Double tap that ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (21:28)

Double tap it, double tap it.

MC Crumb Snatcher (21:31)

Double tap that ass like it's Instagram.

MC Crumb Snatcher (21:34)

Double tap it, double tap it.

MC Crumb Snatcher (21:37)

Double tap that ass like it's Instagram.

AC Lobo (21:43)

Double tap it.

Dixie De La Tour (21:43)

That was double tap from MC Crumb Snatcher, y'.

MC Crumb Snatcher (21:49)

All.

Dixie De La Tour (21:49)

We've got a new podcast sponsor and I'm excited to introduce you to them because I think this service is brilliant. Plus, they're gonna save you a lot of time and money. They're called Simple Health, and as the name suggests, they're here to make your healthcare simple, starting with online birth control. Finally, birth control is getting a much needed 21st century upgrade. With Simple Health, you can get your birth control prescribed online and delivered to your door for free. Whether you're already on birth control, looking to get back on it, or want to try it for the first time, Simple Health will take care of you. When I first saw a doctor to get birth control back in the day, an old Southern gynecologist wandered into the exam room, helped me put my feet up in the stirrups, took a look, and then emerged from my vagina to say, dixie, you better be careful because you're a big old healthy girl. Whatever that meant. And then he proceeded to argue with me about whether I could even have birth control. But dude, you just told me I need it, so shut up and write my prescription already. If you dread conversations like that, or won't put up with them, or you just want to make your life easier, try Simple Health. You can sign up for Birth control through Simple Health on your phone and be done with it. Here's how it works. You know that form you fill out at the doctor's office with your medical history, your conditions, allergies, etc. Simple Health is the exact same thing, but online, so it's way more convenient, comfortable. The process is comprehensive and feels very personalized. They actually ask you for your preferences about birth control. Doctors help build the product and they review every patient carefully to figure out if you're a good candidate for birth control and to pick the right method for your needs. And just to be clear, Simple Health isn't making their own birth control. Their doctors only prescribe trusted and vetted brands of birth control pills, as well as the Patch in the Ring. And best of all, Simple Health offers affordable care regardless of insurance. They do accept insurance and luckily birth control is free with most insurance plans, so you can pay absolutely nothing to use this service every month. For those without insurance, pills start at $15 a month, which is still super affordable and delivery is free for the prescription is usually $20. But my listeners can try Simple Health for free. Just go to simplehealth.com dixie or enter the code DIXIE at checkout. I want to mention that this isn't a replacement for routine evaluations by your primary care physician or gynecologist. You should still get checkups as needed, but it's the most convenient and comfortable way to get your birth control. Again, try a better way to get birth control with Simple Health by going to simplehealth.com dixie or just enter D at checkout. Y', all, we're living in the future. You may never get that jet pack they promised you, but at least Simple Health is here to make birth control simple cocktails, a rousing game of Bango and your smiling face. Is there anything better? I don't think so. Let me tell you about upcoming live shows for Body Storytelling where I can meet you in person, give you a hug, and maybe talk you into being on stage at Body Storytelling sometime soon. I'm pretty persuasive in Seattle this week on May 9, the theme is Libertine. We'll be at the rebar Seattle. And then we're gonna be on June 6th in Seattle. We'll be celebrating five years of producing Body in Seattle. Dan Savage came to my show in San Francisco, told me where to go, told me he'd tell up my very first show in Seattle, and it all came true because of him. Five years later, we're celebrating not just Body but thank you, Dan. Thank you for helping us find a new home in one of the most sex positive cities in the country. It's part of why I go to Seattle every month. I really love Seattle and I never would have known if it hadn't been for Dan Savage. Coming up In San Francisco May 17, we're doing unicorn Fest. Unicorn Fest is one of those bad ideas I have. That is what I like to do to celebrate my birthday every year I have been talking to unicorns. We may be doing raffling off date with unicorn. I'm waiting to see if it all comes together. Working on it now. And if you're a unicorn in the Bay Area who would like to be raffled off, contact me@dixiebodystorytelling.com we're going to be raising money for going on tour. You'd be helping us bring body to the cities that need the kind of sex positive storytelling that we provide. Not just unicorns. We're also going to be doing a unicorn photo booth with Sibian rides. If you don't know what a Sibian is, look in the show notes. I'll have a link to it. It's kind of wild and kind of great. I can't imagine how great the faces are going to be while riding a unicorn dubbed Sibian. It's gonna be great photos. And on June 20, the theme is Best fiends. When your friends get you laid. Or maybe when you get laid by your friends. I've already had some really great pitches on that one. But there's a couple spots left if you would like to tell a story at that one. I'll tell you how at the end and then don't forget September 29th we are doing a special Folsom Street Fair after party. Go to the Folsom Street Fair, the largest kink event in the world. All day, wander around at a street fair in San Francisco and then come sit in the cool with a chair under your ass. A sexy cocktail. Yeah, doesn't that sound great? How do you pitch me for body storytelling? It's not hard. I want to hear your voice. I want to hear you tell a story. So you go to your phone, you turn on a voice memo, you hit record and you talk to to me. You tell me your story, beginning, middle and end. Send it to Dixie bodystorytelling.com I work with you, I coach you, I get you ready for the stage. Because it's not just for the audience. It's a life changing to get on stage at Bodi. I want to help. So those are the upcoming live shows for Bodi. I look forward to seeing you at a show really soon. I want to say thank you to the team that makes this podcast possible, to podcast producer Marty Garcia, to sound engineer David Grossoff, to video archivist Joe Moore, to project manager Dana Hanna, and the other thing that keeps this podcast going is you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for going. And telling just one friend about the podcast. Growing is really, really important to me. I want to know that these stories are getting out to a larger audience. And the fan mail I'm getting tells me that people want these stories, but they don't know they want them until you let them know. So tell a friend and we'll be back really soon with more of the body storytelling podcast. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour. And one last thing before I go, I want to tell you about a podcast that I really love. I listen to it all the time, and I am a super fan of the people who put this podcast on. The American Sex podcast is hosted by my friend Sunny Megatron and her partner, Ken Melvoinberg. The two of them together talking about sex in these frank, open conversations. The people that they have on their podcast, they have the most interesting guests and the best conversation with them. And if you're really into interview style podcasts where you get to really hear the behind the scenes from the people who come on and talk about their lives and why they work in the realm of sex or kink, this is the podcast for you. Give it a listen. It's the American Sex podcast. And here's a little taste. I'll be back really soon with Bodi, but in the meantime, here's Sunny.

Sunny Megatron (30:05)

Hey, I'm Sunny Megatron from American Sex, a podcast about life, liberty, and the pursuit of. Ooh, that's kind of a trashy first impression, isn't it? I'm so sorry.

Dixie De La Tour (30:13)

Okay.

Sunny Megatron (30:14)

On American Sex, Ken Melvoin Berg and I explore our guests deepest, darkest sexual secrets, hang ups, fantasies and victories. Each episode reminds us that in this fine country of ours, no matter our differences, we all want and deserve the same things. Freedom and happiness. And find American Sex on itunes, stitcher and most podcast services or@AmericanSexPodcast.com.