Podcast Summary: Bawdy Storytelling – Episode 83: “Wishbone” (Danni Lyon)

Host: Dixie De La Tour
Storyteller: Danni Lyon
Date: July 18, 2019

Episode Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling features Danni Lyon’s deeply personal, vulnerable, and often funny first-time storytelling performance, “Wishbone.” Danni shares her journey grappling with vaginismus—a medical condition causing painful intercourse—and the complex intersections of sexual identity, shame, self-acceptance, and what it really means to “have sex.” True to Bawdy Storytelling’s mission, it’s radically honest, sex-positive, and filled with moments of transformation and raw authenticity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction and Episode Context

• Dixie sets the stage (01:15–07:06), reflects on the hope of rediscovering Dani’s story, and teases upcoming changes for the show.

  • Notable Quote (01:28):
    “The story that you’re going to hear on this episode was one that I feared was lost forever... but superhero podcast producer Marty Garcia made it his life’s work to find this story for me.”

• Dixie introduces Danni Lyon with warmth, including her self-penned bio—“public health geek by day and militant bisexual 24/7”—and celebrates the Bawdy community’s embrace of new storytellers. (05:45–07:06)

2. Danni Lyon’s Story: The Experience of Vaginismus and Sexual Awakening

The Fraught “First Time” – Confusion and Pain

• At 17, Danni plans to lose her virginity to her boyfriend, Sam, but experiences intense pain (“like I’m a wishbone and he’s torn me in half,” 07:50) and emotional fallout from expectations unmet.
  • Notable Quote (08:34):
    “He looks so disappointed. And I could tell he’s thinking, what is wrong with her? And I am also thinking, what is wrong with her?”

Diagnosis and Medical Misinformation

• At the doctor’s office, Danni is told she has vaginismus—her vagina’s “intruder alarm”—and is incorrectly advised that having an orgasm beforehand will solve it. (09:20–09:50)
  • Notable Quote (09:40):
    “She tells me... all you have to do is have an orgasm first, and that loosens up the muscles... By the way, this is not true. It’s medically bullshit.”

The Search for Answers – Therapy and Stigma

• Danni consults a therapist who pathologizes her bisexuality and suggests her sexual preference is a form of avoidance (“So I guess I don’t understand why this vaginismus thing is so important to you. Like, if you can just choose to like women…” 10:50).
• This experience deeply wounds Danni, resulting in a retreat from coming out to others for years.

Physical Therapy and Despair

• Undergoes pelvic floor therapy involving “prescription dildos,” while coping with the emotional toll (“every time I leave her office... I cry the entire way back to campus,” 12:21).

Love, Sex, and Sexual Self-Discovery

• Her relationship with Emily—a confident, queer redhead—reframes sex, intimacy, and pleasure on her terms, even as penetration remains daunting. (13:06–14:36)
  • Notable Quote (14:13):
    “I don’t come, but she does... and when I watch her come, I feel like I’ve had 10 orgasms. It’s so good.”

Acceptance and Redefinition of Sex

• Several years later, with a new partner, Luke, she tries penetration again—this time with support, mutual care, and communication. The experience is emotionally overwhelming and brings up complex questions about identity and worth, but also relief and catharsis. (15:07–18:20)
  • Notable Quote (17:38):
    “I’m, like, happy because I did it, but also I’m grieving because seven years ago there was this girl on a bed who... couldn’t do sex, so by definition, I had no value.”

Epiphany and Ongoing Self-Acceptance

• The story comes full circle as Danni realizes sexual identity and value are not defined by a single act, or by other people’s definitions, but by what feels authentic and good for her. (19:10–20:01)
  • Notable Quote (19:38):
    “The reason sex didn’t change me is because I’m 24 years old and I have no fucking clue what sex is... So I know there’s something wrong with my body, but also, is it wrong if it’s working for me?”

Reclaiming Agency Over Her Body

• Faced with the offer of an invasive medical solution (Botox shots for vaginismus), Danni declines—choosing self-acceptance instead. (20:01–20:15)
  • Notable Quote (20:05):
    “I look at her and I tell her, you know what? No, thank you. Because my body and my sex life are actually perfect just like they are right now.”

3. Musical and Poetic Bookends

• The story is introduced and closed with Danni and musical performances/song lyrics that mirror her journey of pain, longing, self-exploration, and empowerment. (20:15–25:08)
  • Lyrics like:
    “One of these days you’re gonna learn to touch yourself. You won’t need no man, no one...” (21:25)

4. Community, Support, and Looking Forward

• Dixie returns (25:08 onward) to discuss:

  • Listener support through Patreon (25:08–26:15)

  • The new “Test Tickle” initiative—fans can help decide where live Bawdy Storytelling shows will be held by pre-purchasing tickets in their cities (26:15–28:45)

  • Upcoming special live show details

  • Emphasis on the power of sharing stories, community, and finding empowerment and camaraderie by owning one’s narrative

    Notable Quote (25:50):
    “For me, watching people who look like me have these incredible adventures inspires me. It makes me feel like anything is possible.”

Memorable Moments and Quotes

• (07:57) “It feels like he’s just slid a knife in between my legs or like I’m a wishbone and he’s torn me in half.”
• (09:20) “I have vaginismus. And she tells me that vaginismus… is basically an intruder alarm in my vagina.”
• (10:50) Therapist: “So I guess I don’t understand why this vaginismus thing is so important to you. Like, if you can just choose to like women, what does it matter if you can't be with men?”
• (14:13) “When I watch her come, I feel like I’ve had 10 orgasms. It’s so good.”
• (17:38) “I’m, like, happy because I did it, but also I’m grieving because seven years ago there was this girl on a bed who… couldn’t do sex, so by definition, I had no value.”
• (19:38) “The reason sex didn’t change me is because I’m 24 years old and I have no fucking clue what sex is.”
• (20:05) “It’s my body and my sex life are actually perfect, just like they are right now.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:01–01:15: Dixie’s intro and episode setup
• 07:06–20:15: Danni Lyon’s full story (“Wishbone”)
• 20:15–25:08: Song/poetic segment – Danni and musical reflection
• 25:08–28:44: Dixie on Patreon, community, and upcoming events

Tone & Language

The episode maintains Bawdy Storytelling’s signature mixture of candid humor, body-positivity, empathy, and celebration of sexual diversity. Danni’s story is told in raw, authentic, sometimes self-deprecating language and is unapologetically open about sex, pain, confusion, and triumph. Dixie’s narration is welcoming, supportive, and galvanizing, framing the story with warmth and encouragement.

For New Listeners

This episode offers a powerful exploration of shame, healing, and self-acceptance in the realm of sexuality—especially for those who have felt “different,” marginalized, or challenged by their own bodies. It also highlights the importance of community stories and radical honesty, making it essential listening for fans of true, unfiltered storytelling about sex and identity.