Saren O'Grady (7:29)

Oral. Aral.

Dixie DeLaTour (7:31)

Is that how you say Aral? I'm not sure how you say Aral because I'm from the South. A U R A L. I'm that kind of person. So thanks for listening. I just wanted to let you know what's going on with the testicle and voting is going to end on the first day of fall. That's September 23rd. So please vote. Please encourage your friends to vote. I can't wait to see your face in your city in person. Clean and simple. It's the best way. That's why I'm excited to tell you about Native, a company that creates safe, effective products with fewer ingredients. Products that people use in their bathroom every day. Products with trusted ingredients and trusted performance. Native can keep you smelling good for your workout or for your 16 hour day. Less is more with Native so you know and you can pronounce everything that's in their deodorant. Native uses ingredients found in nature such as coconut oil or tapioca starch, shea butter, and there's no animal testing either. Native comes in a wide variety of enticing scents. Scents like lavender and rose, cucumber and mint and more. I love Native's coconut and vanilla scent, but there's so many scents to choose from. They release new limited edition seasonal scents throughout the year and they also offer uninscented formula and baking soda free formula for people with sensitivities. But don't take my word for it. Go check out the more than 8,000 five star reviews from satisfied customers and we've got a special offer for listeners of the Body Storytelling Podcast. Right now you can get 20% off your first purchase. Just visit nativeDeodorant.com and use the promo code Dixie during checkout. There's no risk to try Native. They offer free returns and exchanges in the US if you're not completely satisfied, y' all take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. Visit nativedeodorant.com, use the promo code Dixie and get 20% off plus free shipping before we get into the story for this week's episode, I want to explain something about the basic tenants a Body Storytelling and tell you something about how stories are approached on this podcast. I have always personally believed your body, your choice. So maybe some of the fantasies or the acts in this story are not things that you choose to do. Don't do them. You know, I'm always on stage going consent, consent, consent, consent. And I believe if it's your fantasy, share it with the world. Let them know. The only way you get your fantasy is if you let people know your fantasy. So okay, that's it. That's all I'm going to say about that. And now I'm going to tell you about the Storyteller. This Storyteller is someone who took my storytelling workshop a few years ago, came in and realized she must have a ton of stories, but she just didn't know how to get there with them. She didn't know how to create a story arc. She didn't know how to turn it into a beautiful thing. And it's so great to watch somebody get it, to watch them realize that their life is so full of stories, and to watch them get on stage and share their story for the first time. This was her first story for us on stage at Body Storytelling. We've had her back a few times, but this one was raw and powerful and it moved me. I'm going to tell you a little bit about the Storyteller, but when I checked in to see if everything in the bio because the story was told a little bit ago current, I discovered that she had been a general manager at a high end restaurant in Oakland and had decided to reinvent herself. So Right now, nothing in her bio was true. Nothing that she told me to say on stage about herself was true. And she's reinventing herself. And I think by the end of this story, you'll agree with me that if anybody can do it, Sarin can do it. This storyteller is Sarah o'. Grady.

Saren O'Grady (11:48)

You look amazing.

Dixie DeLaTour (11:55)

Make sure you talk on the mic.

Saren O'Grady (12:06)

Okay, everybody, I have a secret, but I'm kind of nervous about it, so can I tell you? I have a rape fantasy. Okay, okay, hear me out. Hear me out. So in my fantasy, it's the middle of the night, I'm asleep, and a strange, preferably athletically built man breaks into my house, finds me in my room and tries to fuck me. But he doesn't know that I'm strong, too. And so we fight it out on my bed, and I scratch and I scream and I kick him with my strong legs. And finally I overpower him and I say, get on your fucking knees, motherfucker. And he goes down on me and I come harder than I have ever come before. So that's my fantasy. And a few years ago, I was living in D.C. with this guy named Victor, who I was desperately in love with. And when I asked him if he would role play as my rapist, he looked at me like I was the scum of the earth. And he said, what the hell is wrong with you? Saren? No. Right. Thank you. Thank you. And so when I met Jake, this terrifically hot personal trainer, and he enthusiastically agreed to rape me, I knew I had finally found my match. It was about a year after Victor had refused to be in my fantasy and I'd finally worked up the courage to leave him. And I was back at home in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, going to the Shorewood Community Fitness center to attempt to get over Victor and also get under Jake. And Jake was like. Jake was like a buffer, more Jewish Chris Pratt, if you can imagine that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was into it. And one day I was at the gym and he came up to me and he said, hey, Saren, you know, you should try competitive weightlifting. I think you'd be really good at it. And I was like, okay, I think you should fuck the shit out of me. I think you'd be really good at it. Okay. I didn't actually say that, unfortunately, but he did become my weightlifting coach and shortly thereafter, also my fuck buddy. And the sex with Jake was great. He had these ham hock, like, glutes that were just made for thrusting, but that's as far as I wanted it to go. I was still really raw from my relationship with Victor, and I didn't want to go anywhere near love. But I did start falling in love with weightlifting. And weightlifting is an Olympic sport where the goal is to get as much weight as you can over your head. And as soon as I picked up that weighted bar off the ground and hoisted it over my head, I felt like such a badass. I felt strong and confident and so connected to my body. And so over time, weightlifting and fucking Jake a lot started to heal the wound that Victor had left in me. But the thing with Jake was he did want more than sex. And he kept trying to get to know me. I was like, what the hell? And he was curious about me, and I didn't know what the heck to do with that because Victor had never been curious about me. He cared so little about what was important to me that he once threw my entire beloved book collection into the city dump. Yeah. And when I told Jake that story, I just. I broke down, and he immediately pulled me into his arms and held me. And the next day when I came home, there was on my front porch, there was a book sitting there. And it was a brand new copy of one of my favorite books, Black, White and Jewish by Rebecca Walker, with a note on it that said, here's to a fresh start. Love, Jake. Wait. Oh, why did he have to do it? You have to be so sweet. Damn it. So I called him immediately and I told him to come over so I could thank him. And he came right over. Yeah, and I thanked him several times. And afterwards, as we were laying together, he turned to me and he was like, okay, tell me your craziest fantasy. I was like, oh, no, do I tell him? Oh, should I tell him I want to be raped back? And I was. I took a deep breath and I was like, I kind of want to stage a rape scene. And his eyes lit up and he was like, cool. I am so down to help you with that. And so down, in fact, that while we were acting out this scene, he accidentally broke the window behind my bed as he tried to pull me back under his control after I'd kicked my way free. It was fucking awesome. And as we were laying there afterwards, laughing and panting and trying to avoid all the shards of glass around us in the bed, he turned to me and very seriously asked me, how was that for you? Was that everything you'd wanted it to be? And I was like, wow, you really honor me sexually and you want to explore with me and you encourage me in weightlifting, I think I love you Shut. And he laughed and said, I'm absolutely sure I love you too. So we were in love. And like people do when they fall in love, we decided to try anal because that's. That's love. That's what love means, putting it in the butt. And. And, you know, so he had never done it before, but I'd always been a big fan. And so when he said he was scared and he's like, you know, is it gonna fit?

Dixie DeLaTour (19:00)

I don't know.

Saren O'Grady (19:01)

And I was like, don't worry, I got this. And so on the night we decided to try it, we got each other all worked up and all lubed up, and I lay down on the bed on my stomach, and he got on top of me and he started to put his cock into my ass. And immediately it felt like it wasn't his penis, it was a fucking steak knife just stabbing me over and over in the ass. And I screamed and I pushed him away. And I spent the next hour fending off intense rectal spasms. And it had never happened to me before. And I'm laying there writhing in pain, and he's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I broke you. Oh, my God. And I was like, I don't. Maybe you did, because that had never happened to me before. And so as soon as the pain subsided, I googled pain in the ass after anal. I don't know. Right? That's what you'd have done, Right? And, well, it turns out this is not all too uncommon. And it's called proctelgia fugax, which is a Latin term, pain in your ass after anal sex has a Latin term, and it means fleeting rectal pain. Well, fleeting my fucking ass. So I was like, sorry, babe, we're never doing anal again.

Dixie DeLaTour (20:23)

But.

Saren O'Grady (20:24)

But we did continue to have great non but related sex. And I started competing in weightlifting more seriously. And we even moved to California to pursue weightlifting. And for a while, I was really happy. And it was around this time my 30th birthday started to approach, and I was super excited. I was so stoked to turn 30, and I was making party preparations. And a few days before my birthday, I was at the gym in a training session, and I went to go pick up the bar, and as soon as I picked it up off of the floor, I felt a huge blast of pain in my lower back. And I'd herniated a disc. And in an instant, weightlifting was gone. Yeah, this thing. I had worked three years. My blood, sweat and tears. The love of my life was gone. And as the weeks progressed and I processed what had happened, I started to feel like I'd gone from this young, strong athlete to this old, broken nobody. And I didn't know what I was going to do. I hadn't prepared for a life after weightlifting, I'd passed up grad school for that asshole Victor. What skills did I have? What did I have to offer the world? Nothing. And over the next few months, I really started to unravel. And the more I did, the worse things got with me and Jake. We would kiss and he would go down on me, and I just couldn't feel it. And I couldn't connect with him. And so we stopped having sex and we started fighting instead.

Dixie DeLaTour (22:01)

A lot.

Saren O'Grady (22:03)

And I remember during one of our biggest fights, I remember him looking at me with frustration in his eyes, and he just said, saren, where are you? What is going on? Please tell me. And I just couldn't find the words to tell him that I was lost. That without this body, that could put £200 over my head. And that gave me intense pleasure, and that bonded me with him. I had lost myself. And after that, I stopped sleeping. And I spent the next week just sobbing in bed, imagining ending my life, because that was the only way I could think out of the pain. And that started to feel like a good idea. And that really scared me. And then my mom called me. And thank heavens for my mom, because as soon as I heard her voice, I just broke down and I told her everything. And I said, mom, I can't do this anymore. It just hurts too much. And she said in that very stern, motherly way, she said, sarah, you need to do three things. You need to call me every day so I can tell you I love you. You need to get yourself some help, and you need to take it one day at a time. And that's what I did for about six months. And then one day I woke up and I wasn't disappointed. I'd woken up and I could breathe, and I went to work and I cracked jokes with my co workers, which felt really good. And when I got home, I found Jake in bed, and I sat down next to him, and he looked at me and he said, oh, you look really hot. And I just kissed him. And oh, my God, I had missed those lips so much. And so I got on top of him and we kept kissing, and our clothes started coming off. And at one point, he looked at me and said, do you want to try to have sex? And I was so nervous because we hadn't in a really long time, but I said, yeah, I want to try. And so I slid his cock inside of me and I started riding him. And it was okay. I still couldn't fully connect with myself in that way, but I was just happy to have an intimate moment with him. So I kept writing him. And then at one point, I happened to look over to my left and we have this full length mirror on the back of our bedroom door. And when I looked over. You know where this is going. When I looked over, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And when I did, a huge jolt of energy went through my body and I saw this powerful person on top of Jake. And I saw my big, beautiful ass bouncing up and down. And you got to know I love my ass. I always have. It's gotten me through a lot of hard times. And so when I saw it there in the mirror, I was like, holy shit, that's me. And then all of a sudden, I wanted Jake in my big, beautiful ass. And I was like, put your finger in my ass. He was like, what? Really? I was like, yes, do it. I was in the zone. And so he reached around my hip and he started to press his index finger into my ass. And it felt fucking incredible. And I grabbed ahold of the headboard and I rode his cock and his finger into oblivion, watching myself in the mirror feeling more alive and more like myself than I had in a really long time. So then a couple weeks later, Jake and I took a trip down to la. And one afternoon I was laying in bed taking a nap and he sat down next to me. We started talking about our dinner plans. And as we were talking, I just kind of absentmindedly started lifting my butt off of the bed and kind of wiggling it around in the air. It's totally innocent, I swear. And he put his hand on my ass and he started rubbing it and kind of wiggled it into his hand. And then he looked down at me and he said, be careful, Saren, or I'm gonna put it in your butt. And I was like, oh my God, please fucking do. So just like the first time we had tried, we got each other all turned on and all lubed up a little extra lubed up this time for good measure. And I got on my stomach on the bed and he got on top of me and he slowly started putting his cock into my ass. And this time there was no fleeting rectal pain. This time it felt fucking fantastic. I felt so full of pleasure. And so connected to my body. Body. And I looked over my shoulder at Jake and his eyes were all wide with shock. And I felt so connected to him in that moment. And afterwards, as we lay together all satisfied and post orgasmic, I realized I'm still here. And I can still feel joy and pleasure. And I still love this life, and I still love this man. And I am not ready to give up. I rolled on top of Jake and I planted a big wet kiss on his lips. And I said, I'm back, baby. Now get back in my ass.

Matt Griffo (28:02)

This is a love song, in case you weren't sure. We did all the things that you wanted to do? You did each thing I asked of you? And you say there's a thing you'd like to try? A curiosity you can't deny? Just a little bit of butt stuff we'll go slow, what's the harm? If it's going good, we'll use your arm. Just a little bit of. But stuff you say maybe it'll be my favorite thing well, I'll try anything once Just watch your upswing With a little bit of pasta.

Dixie DeLaTour (29:17)

A little bit.

Matt Griffo (29:17)

Of free step A little bit of, a little bit of Just a little bit of skippity top. Hold on. It's okay. It got way too fast. Okay. Got way too fast. And I. I tensed up.

Dixie DeLaTour (29:49)

Okay.

Matt Griffo (29:52)

But I am easing into it. Oh, please go slow. Please go slow. I don't know. I don't know how my whole world respond to a little bit of buster, a little bit of Buddhist, a little bit of woah woah woah. Just a little bit skibidi bop Skibidi boopity bibbidi bobbity bow Skibidi bop boop. This song is going on pretty long. How long can you do a song about. But stuff about this.

Dixie DeLaTour (30:47)

That was butt stuff sent to us by Matt Griffo. Thanks, Matt. Hey, folks. I get emails from y' all all the time. Fan mail that tells me how this podcast has helped you feel more okay in your body, how it's made you feel like who you are is great, Whatever you're into. Hells yeah. But those are written words, and I need to hear your voice. I'm working on something special for Bodi Storytelling, an upcoming podcast that features you. So I want to be able to hear you talk to us. Talk to me and tell us how this podcast has affected your life. Here's how you do it. I want you to go to the voice memo on your phone, or you can record it another way, but it needs to be an audio recording. And I want you to just hit record and tell me. Tell me a story. Tell me how a certain episode really changed things for you. Tell me how you discovered it, why you love it, all of that, whatever, and add to it whatever you want, but I want to hear you talk. So voice memo on your phone, hit record. When you're done, save it. And then I want you to upload it and send it to dixieaudistorytelling.com we'll be taking those recordings and you will be on the podcast that you love so much really soon. Don't talk yourself out of it. Your story is important. What you have to say is important. Send me a voice memo, DixieAudistorytelling. And pretty soon you're gonna put your earbuds in and you are gonna be coming out of your own speakers. How exciting would that be? Thanks. Send it as soon as you can. The sooner the better. Hiatus has been nice, but it's time to get back to work. So I'm gonna tell you about upcoming live shows for body storytelling. I love podcasting. I mean, I don't feel like I'm good at it, but I love podcasting. But live shows, now, that's a different matter. I love seeing your face. I love shaking your hand. I love hugging you. Hello. And I will ask first, but I will tell you I'm a Southerner and I like to hug. If you want to see my face in person as much as I want to see your face in person, please be at one of these shows. And we're in a bunch of cities coming up, so wherever the hell you are, there's a good chance I'm going to be there, too, in the very near Future. On Wednesday, September 25th, I'm back in Seattle. The theme is hurts. So good. This week is the last week to send me a pitch. If you want to send me a pitch, you've heard me talk about how to do it. If you. You don't know how to do it, write me@dixieodystorytelling.com and I'll tell you how to do it. But let's get you on stage in Seattle. Okay? On Sunday, September 29, Folsom Street Fair is the largest kink event in the world. It happens in San Francisco. And after Folsom Street Fair, you can come to bawdy storytelling. This is the very first time it's ever worked out this way. Why? Because I'm going to. Idiot. I. I don't know. People fly in from all over the world for Folsom, they've been asking me. And finally I put it together and went, oh, that's a great idea, isn't it? So after you walk around in the fair in the heat, cocktails, winnicibian, Amazing Wild Weird stories, music by Rachel Lark, and so much more. Oh, and my freaky games. I'm bringing out the freaky games. Okay. Pervert, Sniff Test, and as always, Bango. And making a special kinky Bango one for that one. And the following cities have been brought to you by the people who voted in the test. Tickle. On Thursday, October 3rd, bawdy storytelling is going to be back in Los Angeles for the first time in years. Tickets are available on our website for that. It's going to be at Busby's east. And I can't wait to see the folks in Los Angeles again. It's been way too long. On Friday, October 18, in Chicago, we are coming to Avondale Music hall. That's Friday, October 18th. That's a Friday night, y'. All. So if you live in Milwaukee or you live in Madison or you live in any place around, take half day off or something because this is special. We haven't been to Chicago in a long time either, and I'd love to see you at this venue. Avondale Music hall looks really cool. And then Wednesday, October 30th, I'm in New York at Chelsea Music Hall. You know, I can't tell you how long it's been since I did a body storytelling, a full body storytelling in New York. And this venue is not huge. So I would advise you to buy your tickets as soon as you possibly can. Tickets for all of those shows are on our website. Didn't hear your city listen. And you want to go to a live show, go to bawdystorytelling.com testtickle and vote for your city. Now, y', all, I got big news. You know, bawdy storytelling has gone from being a local sex and storytelling series to an award winning podcast. We've added weekly podcast episodes to our monthly live shows. We've started scheduling live shows in new cities. It really feels like this movement has momentum, right? I have changed the world of storytelling by creating a place to tell these stories. And now I want to change the world. But I can only do it with your help. I feel like you could be the final piece to this puzzle and I want to seduce you into joining us on this mission. So I've revamped my Patreon and I've got A lot of new rewards and ways to be part of body storytelling. Just this week I've created brand new rewards for my patrons. Rewards like a patron only stream downloadable ad free episodes. Starting this week, you'll get an invitation to our private Facebook group where you can chat with me, with other podcast fans and the storytellers you've heard on this podcast. You'll get reserved tickets to the critically acclaimed San Francisco Body Storytelling show. You can have story coaching sessions with me in a group or in a private session on Skype or Zoom. You and I can work together to craft and fine tune your story. And you've been asking for it, so here you go. I can even create a special bawdy storytelling for you and your friends. Plus I've added goals on page. When we hit our next patron goal, I'll do an AMA an ask me anything and you'll be invited. When we hit our next financial goal, I'll start creating longer story packed episodes of this podcast. This is your chance to change people's lives. Your chance to support something you believe in. Your chance to be part of something incredible. Your chance to build sex positive community wherever you are. And this is your chance to amplify the stories that need to be heard. So go to patreon.com bodi check out all these new patron rewards. There's something there you've been wanting, I just know it. I want to build this community and I know I can do it with your help. Any amount that you can support us at is a huge contribution. So go to P A T r e o n.com body and thanks. We're at the end of the episode and that means it's time to say thank you. Thank you to the amazing Marty Garcia, podcast producer extraordinaire. We were talking the other day and I said dude, do you realize that you have you've produced an award winning podcast? And he said, pretty surprising when I've never produced a podcast before. Think about that. Think about the awards we've been winning. We've been winning them because of the talents of Marty Garcia. Thank you Marty. Thank you to sound engineer David Grossoff, to project manager Dana Hanna, to our archivist for years and years and years and video person extraordinaire Joe Moore. Thank you to you. It's been a little while since since we've had a written review, so if you would go and write us a review, let us know what you think, let us know what you want more of all those things. They would really help. It shows other people that this podcast is important because you know you're important. So share it with a friend, write a review, listen, subscribe, all those things. I am sexual folklorist, Dixie delator. This has been episode 87 of the Body Storytelling Podcast. And here's a peek at what's next.

Saren O'Grady (39:29)

And that's fine.

Dixie DeLaTour (39:29)

You know, like, he's.

Saren O'Grady (39:30)

He's actually got a huge dick, and it's good, but the extent of our kink really just is limited to maybe some light bondage with the neckties that he's wearing to his job as a manager at Staples.