Bawdy Storytelling Episode 88: "Return the Favor" (Jessica Cerretani)

Podcast: Bawdy Storytelling
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Featured Storyteller: Jessica Cerretani
Original Release: September 11, 2019

Episode Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling, renowned as "The Moth for pervs," features host Dixie De La Tour and storyteller Jessica Cerretani. Rooted in the show's sex-positive, candid storytelling format, the episode delivers a hilarious, vulnerable, and memorable tale of sexual awakening, misunderstood moments, and what it’s like to be seen through someone else’s eyes.

The main story, "Return the Favor," is Jessica’s true account of working at a notorious Boston sex shop and an unforgettable (and years-later revealed) sexual misadventure that left her questioning her own memories and legacy.

Key Points & Segments

1. Opening & Listener Community (00:01–13:49)

• Explicit Content Warning and Warm Welcome:

  • Dixie warns about the explicit nature of the show:
    “Wait, that's why you're here? Oh, get ready for the dirty details then. Here we go.” [00:01]

• Fan Engagement and Tour Announcements:

  • Dixie shares stories about fans rallying for live Bawdy Storytelling shows in their cities, especially Boston and Philadelphia.
  • She encourages listeners to campaign for shows and shares social media strategies from listeners (notably Jessica from Boston).

• Listener Voicemail: Todd’s Moving Letter [04:51–07:26]

  • A poignant message from a long-time listener, Todd, expressing how Bawdy Storytelling gave him hope after 21 years in a sexually unfulfilling marriage:

    “Body doesn't need to get me laid. It's already given me hope. Thank you, Dixie.” [07:06]

  • Dixie responds with gratitude, applauding the bravery of such vulnerability:
    “Thank you for making your wishes known and for telling your story.” [07:26]

2. Featured Story: "Return the Favor" by Jessica Cerretani (13:49–27:54)

Early Sexual Fascination and Sex-Positive Upbringing

• Jessica recounts her earliest sexual memory at age three and growing up reading racy novels due to outpacing her small Connecticut library’s children’s section.
  • "One of my earliest... formative memories was when I was about three years old, rubbing up against my parents orange tweed sofa as we watched the wizard of Oz on tv." [13:52]
  • Parents’ reaction: hands-off but supportive:
    "Go to your room and when you're done you can come back out.” [13:58]

Sexual Curiosity Meets Real World Limitations

• Her high school sex life never matched the fantasy of Jackie Collins novels.
• College is no sexual utopia either; casual hookups and "light bondage" with the ties of her Staples manager ex are as exciting as it gets.

The Dream Job That Wasn’t: Condom World

• Jessica lands her "dream job" at Condom World, a Boston sex shop. Anticipates empowerment and education, but the reality is far from glamorous: "Turns out I am the worst salesperson at Condom World because Condom World is actually very sales oriented. You might think condoms sell themselves, but they don't." [15:00]
• Endures awkward sales “upselling” scripts and gets demoted to mopping floors: "I wasn't even allowed to count out the till... my much cooler Condom World coworkers are having unprotected anal sex in the back office while I'm working." [16:44]
  • Memorable humor about sex shop hierarchy and the realities of sex work (hilariously candid and self-deprecating).

Assumed Sex Goddess Reputation

• Her job leads peers to assume she’s a sex goddess, which impresses Matt, a sweet, nerdy college friend.
• Mild dating ensues, but there's no chemistry.

The Closet Incident

• One night, Matt stays over. Jessica, half-asleep, initiates intimacy thinking he’s her ex. Passionate oral sex and reciprocation ensue. "I'm like, well, I'm gonna return the favor. So I do, and he comes pretty fast and it's fine." [20:39]
• The aftermath is awkward; they drift apart.

The Shocking Blog Post, Years Later

• Ten years pass; they reconnect on MySpace. Matt sends her a cryptic email—"Overshare?"—with a link to his blog, where he details the encounter as his embarrassing sexual story.
• Jessica is mortified and confused, reading his account that he was a virgin and accidentally urinated during oral sex on her: "He can't help it anymore. He just lets go and he pees into her mouth. My mouth. Right." [25:58]
• Jessica questions the veracity, emailing Matt for clarification: "'This didn't happen, did it? Did you add that for comedic effect?' And he swears up and down that this did. 'Why do you think I offered you the glass of water afterwards?'" [26:25]

Reflection and Self-Discovery

• Despite doubts about the story's accuracy, Matt’s blog viewed her as a "sexual, confident bombshell”—a stark contrast to her self-perception.
• Jessica concludes with acceptance, humor, and appreciation for being seen as a confident, desirable woman, even if only in someone else’s story. "Because, as one of the commenters on his blog noted, she didn't have to swallow, but she did." [27:32]

3. Musical Interludes

• The episode features tongue-in-cheek Madonna covers, including "Holy Water," adding a playful, sex-positive vibe in keeping with the show’s tone. [27:54–31:54]

4. Notable Quotes & Highlights

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|----------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13:52 | Jessica Cerretani | "One of my earliest... formative memories was when I was about three years old, rubbing up against my parents orange tweed sofa as we watched the wizard of Oz on tv." | | 16:44 | Jessica Cerretani | "I wasn't even allowed to count out the till... my much cooler Condom World coworkers are having unprotected anal sex in the back office while I'm working." | | 25:58 | Jessica Cerretani | "He can't help it anymore. He just lets go and he pees into her mouth. My mouth. Right." | | 26:25 | Jessica Cerretani | "'This didn't happen, did it? Did you add that for comedic effect?' And he swears up and down that this did. 'Why do you think I offered you the glass of water afterwards?'" | | 27:32 | Jessica Cerretani | "Because, as one of the commenters on his blog noted, she didn't have to swallow, but she did." | | 07:06 | Todd (listener) | "Body doesn't need to get me laid. It's already given me hope. Thank you, Dixie." |

5. Tone & Storytelling Style

• Jessica’s tale mixes raw vulnerability with biting humor, flipping embarrassment into empowerment.
• The community-driven ethos is highlighted both in Dixie’s intros and Todd’s emotional listener letter.
• The musical interludes reinforce the raunchy, celebratory sex-positivity of the show.

Summary

"Return the Favor" encapsulates everything Bawdy Storytelling is about: honest, explicit, and often hilarious accounts of sexual misadventure; the contrast between sexual identity and reality; and the sense of kinship that comes from sharing stories we're afraid to tell. Jessica’s story, blending awkwardness, comedy, and sincere self-reflection, invites listeners to reconsider how they are seen by others versus how they see themselves, all set within the outrageous, judgment-free storytelling space Dixie De La Tour has made legendary.