Kat Attack (9:13)
So I'm lying in bed with my lover Harry, and he is fucking me. He looks a little bit like a hot Jewish caveman, and I am trying desperately to hide the fact that I am totally fantasizing about my ex, Tom. I'm trying desperately to not moan the wrong name and he keeps pounding me. And somehow I manage to find an orgasm. And we come together and while we're lying in bed, he looks at me and says, you were thinking about your ex, weren't you? And I'm like, damn it, I can't hide anything from this guy. Luckily, he is totally unfazed and he says, you know, I want to help you out. I want to design a ritual for you that's going to help you get over your ex. I look at him pretty skeptical because I am not a really hippie woo woo kind of person. I don't really believe in magic. And Harry is a self identified magician who practices spells and witchcraft and belongs to a cult that was originally formed by Aleister Crawley back in the day. But I'm pretty desperate to get over my ex, so I say, okay, now a little bit of background. A couple months prior, my ex Tom and I had just gone through this really rough breakup. We had been together, we were super close. But then he went through this really awful depression and he just really withdrew from me emotionally. It got so bad that at one point he said that he could no longer tell me that he loved me because he could no longer feel love for anything. And it was just devastating. I felt like I had lost my best friend. So after the breakup, I ended up lying in bed eating Ben and Jerry's Caramel Sutra ice cream, watching episodes of Daria on YouTube with tears just down my face. And then I got really horny after a couple weeks because I wasn't getting laid anymore. And I decided to get out of bed, go take a shower, walk outside with some lowered standards, and slowly form a small harem of lovers. Which brings us back to Harry, one of those said lovers who's excited to see create this ritual for me. And he goes, okay, so first of all, you're gonna need two spirit guides, a protector spirit and a healer spirit. And I Go. Okay. What about Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones? She's pretty badass. And he says, that's perfect. Okay. And then for my healer spirit, I went with a therapist I had back when I was a kid, this really sweet hippie chick named Shireen that got me through some really hard times. And Harry's like, great, these are perfect. And then he teaches me how to put myself into a trance state so that I can call upon these spirit guides and then they'll advise me or something. And so I'm skeptical and I try it and it actually kind of worked. I could sort of hear their voices in my head, and it actually worked a little too well because they would show up at inopportune times, like when I was lying in bed trying to masturbate and I start fantasizing about my ex. M', lady, do not think of this man anymore. He has wronged you. He does not deserve your attention. And then Shireen would chime in and she'd be like, the girl's gotta grieve. How she's gonna grieve Brienne. But really, you should probably delete all of those shirtless photos you still have on your phone of your ex if you're really ever going to move on. My spirit guides were cock blocking me and it was working. So at the end of a very slutty summer, I took my two spirit guides with me and I went off to Burning man for the fourth year in a row. M', lady, why are you taking us to this desolate wasteland? It is dangerous. Chill out, Brianne. Girl's young. She's got to go adventure and find herself in the desert. It was like my subconscious had created a sitcom because they kept arguing with each other in my head. So Burning man has lots of memories of my ex, but also a lot of distractions. One night, my camp, Gender Blender, which is one of the trans and gender queer camps on Playa, we threw a cuddle party and I was in fucking heaven. I was getting back rubs and foot massages and head scritches. I got to be every single kind of spoon configuration you can think of. And at the end of the night, I was cuddled up with this really cute boy named Alex. He was tall and slender with dark curly hair and a beard. He looked a little bit like Jesus, except with a nipple piercing and a long maroon skirt. Alex and I just hit it off right away and we started philosophizing about being polyamorous and how the fuck to navigate open relationships. We talked about the fact that we were both genderqueer, how I never really felt like I was a girl on the inside, and how he always wished that he had been born one. I was getting really excited. We had all these compatibilities and similarities. And then we started talking about kink. I shared that I'm a switch, but I really only experienced being submissive. And he told me that he was 100% sub. I wasn't really sure if we were going to be sexually compatible, but he was really cute. So I was like, okay, I could probably figure out this doming thing for him. At the end of the cuddle party, I looked at him and I was like, you subby boys, you never make moves. Can I kiss you? He smiled really big and said yes. So I leaned in and I gave him this wonderful, passionate kiss. We didn't see each other for another month back in the Bay Area when we started a date. And it was going really well. Within the first couple dates, we were tearing each other's clothes off. But I remembered, he's a sub. I need to figure out how to dom him. And so one night I decided to give it my all. I started with my best dominant stare. And then I told him what to do. Get on your knees and lick my pussy. And his eyes lit up and he like jumped down and started eating me out. And it felt really good. So then I felt threw him on the bed and I was holding down his wrists and I was teasing his nipples. And I started fingering him in that spot where his pussy would be if he had been born a girl. And he's moaning and writhing and I'm like, oh, good, I'm doing a good job. I'm getting my top biscuits. Thanks, Midori. So then I decide to kick it up a notch. And I say, I want to fuck you in the ass. And he looked like he had just won the lottery. Now, I technically owned a strap on harness, but I had never used it, but I was about to right then. So I pull it on my hips and I get his ass good and ready. I'm fingering it and I'm lubing it all up. And then I get on top of him and I slide in nice and slow. And I start fucking him with my cock. And he's moaning and writhing and really enjoying it. And so I start fucking him harder and faster. And then I realize that I lack the core strength to do this. This is before I started working out all the time. And he realizes this too, because it is all over My face. But he's such a winner. And he's like, can I get on top? And he just jumps on top of me, and he just starts riding my cock like a fucking pro. And I just cannot describe to you how beautiful it is. Just his whole chest was supple and glistening, and he was bucking on me, and I started teasing his nipples. And his cock is rock hard, and I start to jack him off. And then I say, come for me, you slut. And he explodes all over my chest. And it is glorious. So Alex and I keep dating, and we keep friends, and I get better at doming. And then I start to discover all of his hidden fetishes. It was like getting a kinky advent calendar. Like, one week, I'd open a door and there's a foot fetish inside. I love foot rubs. This is great. I would open up another door and there was an erotic hypnosis fetish. I don't even know what that looks like, but I'm a nerd. I'll get a book. I'll figure it out. But really, all of those are for later bodies that I will come back for. Alex and I continue to get closer, but as we do so, we start to step on those emotional landmines that had been left from my former relationship. One night, he looks a little bit distant, and I suddenly have this flashback, and I feel like I'm being totally and completely emotionally abandoned. And I end up super upset and crying in the fetal position. But Alex comes up to me and he puts his arms around me and he holds me, and he tells me that he's there and that it's going to be okay. And I calmed down, and we're able to kind of talk through it. And we heal that wound that was there. And then over time, we accidentally end up stepping on more and more landmines. But we heal each one of them, and he's just always there for me. My inner Brienne of Tarth is still feeling really protective and afraid of having a repeat of what had happened with Tom. But my inner Sherene was telling me how wonderful he was and how trustworthy he was. Then this one night, after hours of hot, kinky sex, we're lying in bed, and he looks at me and says, I love you. Can I call you my partner? And I say, yes, I love you, too. And it felt like there had been something inside of me that was broken, that finally felt like it had been made whole again. And I hear this familiar voice in the back of my head. Milady I don't think you'll be needing my services anymore. Thank you.
