Transcript
A (0:00)
The podcast you're about to listen to is for adults only. So put some earbuds on the cat, shoo that toddler out of the room, and let's have some private time, just me and you.
B (0:19)
All of my life I've never fit But I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous get used to Everyone tells me I'm too much maybe it's just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm supposed to be? Hey, my vagina is eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just run and hide. My vagina is eight miles. What?
A (1:12)
Hi there, and welcome to the Bawdi storytelling podcast. I am sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour, and this is episode 91. We're headed toward 100, y'. All. Do you believe it? How's your week going? I am high on life right now. Life is insane. Insanely busy, but it's a happy kind of busy. I'm gonna tell you what I've been up to, and then we'll have stories and songs and a lot more information on what's going on with body storytelling. You know, I'm doing this tour thing I've been dreaming about doing for a long, long time. And because I've left the Seattle and the San Francisco shows in, it's turned into 10 shows in 10 weeks. And that's a lot when you do all the story coaching and all the event production and all the travel and all the hosting and all the things yourself. So, yeah, I am barely keeping my head up above water, but every once in a while, it turns into so much fun that I forget how overwhelmed I am and just remember how fucking fun my job is. I had the Seattle show last Wednesday, and then I had this huge Folsom Street Fair event on Sunday. Folsom Street Fair is the largest kink event in the United States. It's huge. It's like a half million people who come to San Francisco to wear their kink finery. And my Folsom show was crazy. Even though the light board blew out in the middle of one of the stories, the storyteller was a complete pro and kept going, didn't miss a beat. We were all sitting in pitch dark. You could not see a thing. And we still got to listen to stories in the dark. It was crazy. Sold out. Seattle was sold out. San Francisco was sold out. And we got stories from amateur ball busters and people who were into Boot fetishes, leather daddies telling fisting stories, and a story I've always dreamed of having. Melaina Williams Haas flew in from New York City just to give me a story I've always dreamed of. She did this beautiful intro through the crowd in full pony with the fan headdress and a bit and a bridle. A handler leading her through the crowd, a pony trainer. And the crowd had been handed out those carrots with the green ends on them and organic sugar cubes because Melena wanted organic sugar cubes. And Melena gets what she wants. And she entered through the crowd. We turned the house lights up, we fed her carrots and sugar cubes. And then she got on stage. Her handler took her bit out of her mouth and she told us a story, a story about Oracle the pony and her inner pony. And the strangest thing happened. In the middle of it, the lights went out. And I think that may have changed her over from a storyteller telling a story about being a pony to the pony taking over. Melina said it was one of the strangest things that's ever happened to her. In her entire life as an actor and a storyteller, she's never had her inner pony come out and tell the story. My dream of having a story from a human pony, so much better than I ever expected. The pony took over, spoke into the mic and told us about what it's like to be a pony and why it's important and why it feels so real and why it's who they really are. It was incredible. When Melena turned away from the microphone, she looked at me with all of the things that were part of the pony getup. There were pony horse hooves on her hands and feet. And I noticed this strange look on her face as she walked away from the mic. And afterwards she said, that was Oracle. That wasn't me. It was one of the best shows I've ever produced. And I hear it every show. That was the best show you've ever produced. But everybody in the room went, that was the best body I've ever been to. And I've been to all of them, and I'll tell you the truth, I think they might be right. That might have been the best one yet. We're gonna be doing it again next year for Folsom Street Fair. I've decided it makes sense. So I never take a break. I'm always sitting at my computer doing something. Doing something that relates to body storytelling. And I had someone who came to the last show that I Did in Brooklyn with the Risk podcast. And ever since we've been talking and she is a nomadic photographer. Her name is Natasha of Inamorata Photography. And she's been saying, I want to do photos of you. And I'm not very good at having my photo taken. You know, when you don't like the way you look, you just go, oh, I guess we could do that. I do need photos. That would make sense. I should do that. But. Oh, and this was the perfect photo session. Like, I took a little break from performing. I stressed out about what to wear. And she said, where should we shoot in San Francisco? I'm in San Francisco. And I was like, well, fuck, I don't know. I live here and everything's picturesque as. Or you could say picture squee, too. Everything here is picture squee. I asked people, I'm crowdsourcing on Facebook. People are like, oh, the palace of Fine Arts. Yeah, that's beautiful. That's kind of formal. That doesn't feel like me. There are people suggesting gorgeous places all over San Francisco. And then in the middle of all of it, somebody got on and said, fireboat. And I was like, I don't know what that means. And he's like, fireboat? What about the fireboat? I'm like, I don't know what a fireboat is. And he sent me this incredible picture of sunset with the bridge in the background and these fireboats right on the edge of the water in San Francisco. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And I was like, how do I do that? He's like, I don't know if you can get permission. I don't know if it's possible. I can try to get it. And Tony spent the entire day on Saturday calling everybody at the fire department, trying to get me access to the fireboat. We finally got the. Okay, it's happening. We've got it. Head down there. I was like, do we have permission to shoot on the fireboat? And he's like, well, you know, maybe you can win them over. I don't have permission for that. Maybe you can win them over. So Natasha and I, the photographer, started brainstorming. How can we get firemen to let us get on that boat? I said, beer. Like, beer is a personal decision, and it's heavy and we're going to be in lifts. How are we going to get that down there? And she said, fancy gourmet donuts. I'm like, that's great. Everybody likes donuts, right? So we stopped. She Met me in a Lyft. I picked her up. We went to the fanciest little donut place we could find, a brand new place that was a food truck called Hooked Donuts. And we ordered pretty much everything. They had four dozen donuts, got another lift. We headed down to the fireboat and we walked in and I said, hi, who am I supposed to talk to? And they said, oh, that's right, yeah, we heard you were coming. I walked into the kitchen while the firemen were were about to put a giant pan of lasagna into the oven for their dinner, because we wanted to catch the late afternoon light, you know, sunset and the golden hour. And I mean, this is the biggest pan of lasagna you ever seen in your life. And Natasha, who is gorgeous. And I walked in, I'm wearing one of my little cupcake dresses for the photo shoot, and I'm like, hi, we're here to bribe you with donuts. And they said, why are you bribing us? I'm like, because we want to shoot some pictures on your fireboat. That's why. They not only let us do it, they let us feed them donuts. And we got some photos of that. They let us go out on the porch with me and my little cupcake dress, feeding the seagulls mini donuts. One of them got it stuck in his throat and we were worried about him for a while. And then one fireman, who was the most friendly guy you'd ever met, who couldn't believe the stories we were telling, asked us questions occasionally like, wait, what's a swinger? You said dungeon. Did you say dungeon? What's a dungeon? He was loving it. He helped me get on the fireboat, which was scary because, you know, I'm a fat girl and I was afraid I was gonna fall in the bay. And we got on there and Natasha just led me all over the boat. And I wasn't even self conscious about the photos, which normally I am because I was having such a great adventure. I was lit up, creating the story. We got the beautiful afternoon light. She'll have photos for us soon, and I'll be sharing them on social media and on my Patreon account, talking about the adventure, where I have more time to talk about the adventure. But it was one of the most fun days I've ever had. And then I got back to work, produced the Folsom show, which was crazy, sold out, and so good. It was an incredibly overwhelming and fantastic weekend. And this week I'm headed to LA and I'M gonna hopefully have an adventure in la. So if you live in Los Angeles and you want to create an adventure, as long as it's after the show on Thursday, I am always down for an adventure. Stories make everything better, don't they? The things you have to do, like getting your inbox to zero or making dinner every single day, it can make you feel like you haven't taken a deep breath since yesterday. Well, why not take a moment to reconnect with yourself and prioritize your pleasure with Dipsea Stories. Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories and guided sessions designed to turn you on. And each story is created with women in mind. They're relatable and immersive and there's something for everyone. Men, women, all you name it. Stories about strangers meeting on the beach in Mexico or seeing that ex you can't stop thinking about on the subway. Or maybe you want to be inspired for your next big adventure. Dipsea can do that and they add three brand new stories every week, so you always have more to explore. And for listeners of the Bawdi storytelling podcast, Dipsea is offering a 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com Dixie that's a 30 day free trial when you Go to dipseastories.com dixie whatever you're in the mood for, Dipsea keeps it real and really hot. Oh, it's time for our story. Are you excited? Let me tell you about this week's Storyteller. Dara M. Wilson is a storyteller, host, writer, producer, solo show performer and techie hailing from Oakland, California. Catch her talking about the news and politics of social justice on the TwibPrime podcast, interviewing up and coming creators of color on her web series Next Big Thing with Courtney and Dara. And you can find her online on all the things. Aara M. Wilson, this is gonna surprise you. This storyteller is Dara M. Wil.