Casey Rahm (12:54)

Talk about premature. So I'm standing on a balcony outside of a sliding glass door and I'm looking down over the palm trees that are lining the streets of Honolulu. Somewhere in the distance I can hear the sound of the Pacific Ocean. And I turn around and I take in this very small studio apartment bachelor pad. And I look over to Ray and he's sitting on the bed. It's really just a mattress on the ground and also the only soft surface in the room.

Musical Guest / Performer (13:34)

And.

Casey Rahm (13:34)

And he kind of gives it the tap. So I walk over and I also sit down. And as we start kissing and we start taking off clothes, I'm thinking in my head how this one night stand is somehow the culmination of two years of work. So I grew up in a very small town in eastern Washington. It's called Chelan. You probably know it. Really fun to visit in the summer, not so great to live in. It's basically like the same 50 people that you've been going to school with, and, you know, you've, like, made out with all the other sevens already. And it's. There's not a lot to choose from after 13 years of going to the same school with these people. And I was always looking for an excuse to get out. And my junior year, I had a great opportunity. One of my very best friends, Jill, was going to Hawaii with her family, and they invited me to go with. And I was so excited, but also really frustrated because Jill was one of my very best friends, but also, like, the most fucking beautiful person I've ever seen in my life. I shit you not. Less than a year later, she was discovered by a modeling agent at her job at Ace Hardware and moved to LA and became a model. And she's still doing that. She was in a movie with Adam Sandler. No big deal. And so she was just, like, gorgeous. And it's really frustrating when you're a seven to have all your best friends be tens. And on the beach, we couldn't have looked more different. Like, she's laying out slathering on her SPF4 Hawaiian Tropic suntan oil, and I'm like, you know, full bucket hat with, like, SPF 50 every hour. And I pretty much look like this all the time. And at one point, we were like, all right, we're going to walk down the beach, we're going to get some shaved ice. We're going to live it up. We're in Hawaii, and we get approached by this guy, and he looks kind of like Dazed and confused era Matthew McConaughey with that kind of shaggy blonde hair, and he keeps flipping it out of his face, and whenever he does, you can see his eyebrow ring. And he's wearing these board shorts from the era when Billabong was just bong and they were trying to, like, embrace their stoner clientele or whatever. And he approaches us and he says, hey, you ladies look like you could use a surf lesson. And we've had this approach several times on this trip already, and I've barely scraped together the money to even go on this trip. So I'm like, oh, no, we can't afford it, but thank you. And he's like, oh, no, I'm not trying to sell you anything. I just feel like, you know, you're in Hawaii, you probably want to learn how to surf. I was like, all right, whatever. He's trying to flirt with Jill. Let's just do it. I want to learn to surf. Over the course of this surf lesson, it Becomes pretty clear that he's not flirting with Jill, he's flirting with me.

Dixie de La Tour (16:44)

Yeah.

Casey Rahm (16:47)

He keeps kind of like hovering over me as I'm, like, doing the beach pop up lesson and, like, cheers extra hard and grabs me in a giant hug when I stand up for like four seconds in the real water. And he's kind of given me the look. And unfortunately for him, I had a boyfriend, the same fucking boyfriend that I had for, like, the last year and a half. And so it didn't progress. And we stayed friends and we hung out the rest of the trip. And he showed us some cool places in Hawaii and we exchanged numbers. And after I went home, we kept in touch and we talked about a lot of things. I kind of looked up to him. He was 19 and he had just left his life in Connecticut to move to Hawaii and pursue his surf bum dreams. And he talked about this business that he was going to start with his friend. And I talked about the colleges that I was applying to. And over the course of the next year, we kept in touch. I also told him when I finally broke up with my boyfriend Matt, because he sucked. And I told him again how excited I was when I found out that our senior trip was going to be to Honolulu. And so I was like, hey, I'm coming back. And I was really excited for this trip, but there was kind of like an interloper with us. He was the older brother of one of the boys that I went to high school with forever. And I'm pretty sure he was only invited so he could buy us alcohol, but we were just not getting along. Like, the entire time. We argued about how soon we needed to get to the airport and where we should go for dinner and whether we should take the pretty coastal highway or the shitty inner highway to get to the Polynesian Cultural center and all these other things. And I was really annoyed, but I didn't care because I was gonna see Ray. And I told everyone how excited I was, like, oh, my God, you guys, he's so hot. I'm so excited. I was dating Matt and now I get to have sex with him, and it's gonna be awesome. And they were all like, okay, because they were all just, like, having sex with each other. And I was like, no, no, we're done with that. We have graduated. And so our second night in Hawaii, I've made plans with Ray to meet up outside of this 18 and over club that we were at. Mike had provided alcohol for us before, and so we were still drunk, regardless of the fact that we couldn't order anything there. And as I had suggested, maybe next time, Mexico. So I'm waiting. I'm waiting. He finally texts me. And I lean over to my nearest friend, Sarah, and I'm like, hey, I'm gonna go. And she's like, oh, where are you going? I was like, I'm gonna go hang out with Ray. She's like, I was pretty sure you were making him up. I was like, no, he's totally real. You wanna come outside? And she's like, eh. And so I left, and I met up with him, and he looked, like, basically the same, but he had cut his hair and somehow looked even better. And he wrapped me up in this giant hug, and he was really excited to see me. And he walked me back to his apartment, which was only a few blocks away, but because it was a shitty bachelor apartment, we had to climb, like, four flights of stairs in order to get there in this, like, Hawaiian humidity. And I was, like, trying really hard to be sexy and not like, okay, yeah, let's do this. So we get inside, and I have this moment where I'm looking down over the street and I'm thinking about how I've graduated and how I'm finally going to get out of Chelan. And I turn around and he's sitting on the bed, and he gives the little pat, and I go over, and I'm immediately just, like, super awkward. So I'm not a virgin at this point, but I had only had sex with the one boyfriend, and it was, like, very high school, you know, like, really quiet and still, and, like, maybe your parents are in the next room and you're just trying to, like, get it over with. And so I was like, that's not what I'm doing this time. But I didn't actually have the skills to, like, know how to not do that this time. So. So I go over and we start kissing, and I kind of let him guide me backwards as you do. And he can kind of sense my trepidation. He's like, wait, you really want to do this? Right? You're good. I was like, yes, I do. I've only ever been with Matt, and I'm really nervous that I'm going to be really terrible at it, and I just need you to tell me what to do. And he was like, well, you're not gonna be terrible at it because look at you. And I was like, okay, thank you. So we start taking our clothes off, and it's pretty natural, and I'm kind of amazed, like, I don't think he's a player by any means, but I was like, oh, you know how to remove a bra without taking seven minutes to do it? And I'm just like kind of constantly impressed by how cool he is, how he like produces a condom without even noticing. I'm like, oh, all right, so that's happening. And I immediately start in like my standard position of just like laying backwards and waiting. And he's like, is that what we're doing or do you want to like, do you want to try something else? And I was like, yeah, actually. And I decide, you know, I'm growing up, so I'm going to get on top now. So I kind of try to like feign confidence and sort of push him backwards onto the bed. And I start to like, do the like awkward straddle. And I immediately knee a bed spring, like directly in the knee, funny bone. And I'm like, no, it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt.

Musical Guest / Performer (23:05)

I'm good.

Casey Rahm (23:06)

And then I forget the part where like, when you're the one on top, you also have to position everything. So I just kind of like sat there for a second and then I was like, oh, I do this. Okay. And so I get on top and we start having sex. And I'm like, yes, I did it. I had sex with someone that is not a stranger to me at all. We've known each other for almost two years at this point, but we're probably never going to have sex again. I may never even see him again. So I'm counting it. I'm counting it as a one night stand. I'm not gonna go to college without having had one.

Musical Guest / Performer (23:42)

So.

Casey Rahm (23:45)

We'Re having sex and it's. Guys, it's fine. It's pretty good. This is not a coming story. It's a coming of age story.

Musical Guest / Performer (23:57)

Thank you.

Casey Rahm (24:02)

And when it's over, we roll over and he asked me if I want a cigarette. And I am not a smoker, but I'm like, seems appropriate, go ahead. So he hands me a cigarette and we smoke it down and we fall asleep. I wake up at 9am with a text message from Sarah saying that I should meet the group at McDonald's for breakfast. I say my goodbyes to Ray because I know we have a lot of activities planned for the rest of the week and I may not see him again. He works. He's a real person. And so we say our goodbyes and I kiss him one more time and I walk down to McDonald's. And as I walk in. I'm like, okay, we're all in like four hotel rooms, so everyone knows I didn't come back. And my hair's all disheveled and I'm clearly wearing club clothes from the night before. And everyone in my class that was on this trip just does, like, the hard stare as I walk in. And one of my friends asks, hey, so where were you last night? And I was like, you guys, I told you what I was doing. I told you all. I told you how excited I was. I went and had sex and they were like, oh, cool. Like, good job. Yeah. And then Mike, my nemesis, kind of narrows his eyes at me and he's like, wow, I never thought you'd be the type to have sex with a rando. I was like, okay, I know you guys all thought he was fake, but he's not fake. I've known him for two years, not a rando. And even if he was, just because you're the only one not getting laid on this trip doesn't mean you need to give me shit. And he didn't bother me for the rest of the trip. We kind of kept our distance from each other. And I was like, you know what? It's not about him. It's not even really about Ray. This is about spending my last week with these friends that I've known for 13 years and saying my goodbyes. And it was also closure for me because I was done with the Chelan dating pool. I was in the Pacific Ocean. Now.

Musical Guest / Performer (26:40)

I've been watching you for some time can't stop staring at those oceans Ice burning season napalm skies 15 flares inside those ocean eyes your ocean eyes don't fly you really make me cry when you give me those ocean lights I'm scared. Never falling bright aside falling near ocean lights those ocean lights I've been walking through a world gone blind can't stop thinking of your diamond mind careful creature made friends with time he left her lonely with the diamond mine in those ocean you really want to make me cry when you give me those oceans almost get n you really know how to make me cry when you give me those o shine scared I've never fallen quite this high falling into your ocean eyes those ocean eyes.

Dixie de La Tour (29:41)

That song was ocean eyes by Billie Eilish Body Storytelling's upcoming tour dates are sponsored by Open, a sex positive dating app that's committed to a truly diverse community. It's a dating app for the open minded. Open has more than 20 options for gender and sexual orientation to choose from and you can even write in your own if you identify as lgbtqia, Straight, disabled, monogamous, polyamorous, swinger, Kinky, Body Positive. There is a place where you can truly be yourself. The point is they want you to be you. Maybe you're gender non conforming or you're hetero flexible. No problem. You can create a solo profile, a partnered profile, or both. And coming in the future, even more grouping options. Open wants to create a community to be a place for all bodies no matter what your appearance, age, ability or expression is. You can find friendship, dating, hookups, relationships, whatever you want. Go to open.com body b a w D Y to download the app today. Did I mention that Open donates a dollar to Planned Parenthood for every new profile created? So don't wait. Go to open.com body and start making authentic connections today. All right, we're halfway through the tour. Here is where you can see me next in person. We've got a couple of very rare. We've got a rare Midwest appearance and we've got an east coast appearance. So I don't care what form of transit you take to get there, I want to see you in person. Don't forget these live shows. On our tour dates we have the coolest swag from hashtag Open to give away to the first people who grab it. And then the bango prizes for these dates are from the Kink store. That's kink.com. it has been so much fun to unload these prize bags into the winner's arms on stage while we all get to know what you're up to. We know what your night's gonna look like or your weekend because it's a Friday night show. This Friday, October 18th in Chicago, I'm at Avondale Music hall with some amazing stories. Stories that I've been wanting on my stage for a long time. The storytellers in Chicago are incredible and I have musical guest Matt Griffo who somebody told me about like five years ago and I'm finally getting him on my stage. Tickets are going to be available through the Bodi website. You can go to ETIX or you can go to Avondale Music Hall's website. Then on Friday, October 25th, I'm back in San Francisco and the theme is Wicked. You got a Halloween costume and you know you want to test drive it and maybe it feels too sexy for that office party. Sexy kitty, sexy witch, sexy nurse. You can wear it to body. It's guaranteed to get the sort of reception you were hoping for. That's Friday, October 25th in San Francisco. Then Wednesday, October 30th, I'm in New York. I haven't been in New York in years. The show is going to be at Chelsea Music Hall. And remember, our New York show had a time change. The doors open at 7. The show starts at 7:30. Don't be late. Then on November 7th, I'm back in Seattle. The theme is Jackpot. That is an easy theme. You have a story for that theme. So pitch me your story, send it to dixieaudistorytelling.com and maybe you'll be on stage in Seattle with me November 14th. Our theme in San Francisco is Gasm. I've never done that theme before. What does it mean? I have no fucking idea. Why don't you tell me what it means? Pitch me your story. And guess what? That is the last date for the current tour. 10 shows, 10 weeks, 5 cities and then it's done. And then it's the week before Thanksgiving and the tour is over. And I'm gonna take so many long, hot baths and I'm gonna take Quake for long walks. And I am rewarding myself at the end of all this travel with season three of the Deuce on hbo. I have been waiting for it. And that is the carrot that I am dangling. When I am done with all this travel, that's my reward. I am really excited for it. Tickets for all of these shows are available on our website, bawdistorytelling.com youm can also find links in the show notes. Did you vote for the testicle? The testicle just ended. We're tallying results, trying to figure out which cities we should go to next. I hope that you're going to be in one of those cities and I get to see your face. So stay tuned. Next week we will update you on what's going on with the testicle and hopefully tell you where we plan to head after this current tour. Stay tuned. You get the big thank you this week. Thank you for listening to this podcast. Thank you for reviewing it. I love reading your reviews. Thank you for showing up to a live tour date. It's kind of scary going on tour. You don't know if anybody's gonna show up. I really hope I see you at one of the remaining tour dates. I really hope I see you in Chicago this Friday night. And if not, New York is coming up and more. We'll be doing more. But right now, right now I'm tired. And right now I really want to get the boost I get when I see your face in person. On top of that, let's say thank you to the people who make this podcast possible. Thank you to podcast producer Marty Garcia, to project manager Dana Hanna, to sound engineer David Grossoff, to video archivist Joe Moore. Thank you for telling a friend about this podcast. And I'll be back really soon with more. I'm sexual folklorist Dixie Delator. This has been episode 93 of the Bawdi Storytelling Podcast, and here's a peek at what's next. Deborah, in addition to being this very experienced leather person, is also an ordained minister. Yeah, so, you know, they look basically like you would expect an ordained minister to look like 6ft tall, sleeves of tattoos, facial piercings, actual fangs. I'm not making that up.