C (11:34)

I can't see a thing, but I feel things. I feel hands on my thighs. I feel teeth on my nipple, a boot between my legs. And fingers. These cool, slender fingers are sliding into my mouth. A few months earlier, I'd been a suburban mom. I had an adorable toddler, big blue eyes, and a pretty great husband and a job I liked. My life was ok. Like, it was okay. It didn't feel like mine. I mean, when I was in high school, I was this obnoxious queer activist, you know, like one of those 16 year olds who just won't shut the fuck up. And then in college, I got into a poly relationship and figured out that I was kinky. And then kind of without realizing it, I got into my 30s and I married a man. And then I had a baby and lost interest in sex and woke up one morning and was like, oh, fuck, I'm heteronormative. Like, what the fuck happened? I mean, having a kid was really hard on me. I had postpartum depression and it was all I could do to show up at work and then come home, take care of my kid and go to bed. That was it. I didn't have hobbies, I didn't have a social life. I didn't do anything. But after about a year of that, I finally had the bandwidth to take care of myself. And one of the first things I did was I got a Fitbit. Yeah. And Fitbit has this app and it'll look at your contacts and it'll find all your friends who have a Fitbit. So on this list pops up this guy named John. I had met John on the Internet like 15 years ago and we would email about horror movies mostly and sex. Well, you know, I mean, I had this like infatuation with Pinhead from Hellraiser. Anybody? Yeah, right. That's what I'm talking about. So we would. So this guy appears on my Fitbit and I'm like, I haven't talked to him in years. I have to send him a message. So I do. And then suddenly we're texting every day and then I start calling him sir. Yeah. And he's telling me about all the horrible things he wants to do to me and I'm like, so fucking into it. Oh, my God. But he's in New York, so all we do is text. That's it. And after a couple months of that, I was like, this is fucking ridiculous. I have a need, clearly, that I am not meeting. How do I get this need met? And then I remembered Deborah. I met Deborah Addington when I lived in Humboldt. I went to college up there, and we were both. I saw a little there. Yeah. Humboldt State. And we were both part of this group called the Impropriety Society. And the Impropriety Society. Right. Isn't that an awesome name? They threw sex parties. And my partner at the time, one of them thought I would really like them and said, you should come. And so I came and I went to a few of the parties, and then I started to volunteer, and I played a little bit. I actually volunteered more than I played, but it was pretty fun. But I was very, very shy, and I didn't make any lasting connections. So it was very easy to kind of drop out of the entire BDSM scene. When I moved away, I came back to the Bay Area. But I knew that Deborah was this great resource, and we were Facebook friends, so I sent them a message. And then pretty soon, we're sitting in their garden in Berkeley. And Deborah, in addition to being this very experienced leather person, is also an ordained minister. Yeah. So, you know, they look basically like you would expect an ordained minister to look like, six feet tall, sleeves of tattoos, facial piercings, actual fangs. I'm not making that up. So we're sitting in the garden, and Deborah's like, I know what's wrong. You just woke up from a coma and you're hungry. I've got the thing for you. There's this class out in San Francisco called Foundations that meets every Monday. And you're gonna go to this class, but you need a sponsor. So I'm gonna have my friend Pele meet you out there. And I was like, okay. I don't even really go to the movies or anything at this point in my life. I. I'm doing nothing, but I agree to do this class. So I take Bart from my home in the suburbs out to San Francisco to Folsom Street. I know. And I go to Wicked Grounds. Yeah. Yep. And so I walk into Wicked Grounds, and I see this young person in a foundation's T shirt, scraggly little beard, very cute. And I walk up to him, and his name is Puppy. And I introduce myself, and I say that I'm there to meet Pele. And I actually have no idea who Pele is. I don't even know if I'm looking for, like, a man or a woman or a non binary person or like a furry or what. And puppy, this is not helpful. What puppy does? He goes, oh, Pele. Like, what the fuck is that? Mr. Burns? Shit. So, like, at this point, I'm like, oh, fuck, what have I done? And I can't back out now. Here I am. So I sit down at a table and I wait. And in a few minutes, in she walks. And she's lovely and has this dark brown hair and this little smile on her face. And she takes my hand and her hands are so, like, cool and soothing. And I'm hot and sweaty and it's like a total mess. And we sit down and talk, and I immediately want to tell her everything about myself. I'm feeling very, like, submissive to her for some reason. And so off we go to the class. I mean, I can't say no. And we're walking down Folsom street and she tells me that the presenter that night is a friend of hers named Silver Griffin, who's been in the leather scene for a very long time, since, like the 70s. He's an elder of the community. He knows all of these amazing people that I've heard of, and he's incredibly talented and knowledgeable. And I'm thinking like, oh, my God, he's like a rock star. This is like David Bowie of the dungeon that I'm about to go see. And we walk in and, you know, he doesn't really look like David Bowie, it turns out. More think more like Santa Claus, but with a black leather vest on and a white mohawk. Yeah, and his class was fantastic. So a lot of these classes that you may have gone to, they, you know, they teach you how to, like, whip people the right way or tie fancy knots. But this class was not like that. This class was about connection. How to connect with the people that you play with in a really meaningful way, even if you've just met. And Pele and I had just met, it turns out. So we sit there through this class and we do things like gaze meaningfully into each other's eyes and breathe together and ask each other these intimate questions that I would never, ever dare to ask otherwise. And by the end of the night, I felt like I'd actually made a real friend. And I couldn't stop thinking about this Silver Griffin guy. So a few weeks go by, and then Pele texts me, do you want to come to a play party? And I'm thinking, like, all right, stepping out of my comfort zone. Worked out pretty well last time, so, yeah, let's do this. So we go to this party, and it's in this tiny apartment in the Mission District. And a bunch of her kinky friends are there, including Silver Griffin. And I'm fucking terrified. Like, I can't talk to these people. I've got social anxiety. So I stick right next to her like an obedient dog and just, like, won't leave her side. Sexy, I know. And so she asked me, do you want to do a scene? And it had been a very long time since I had done a scene. And I didn't know anybody there, but I was ready. And I said, yeah, I do. How about you blindfold me and then tie me up and then invite all of your friends to do whatever they want? And she gave me that smile and she said, okay. So she tells me to take off all my clothes, which I do, except for my panties, because I don't want any penetration. And I sit down in a chair and she disappears. I'm sitting there half naked, mostly naked, really. I mean, mostly naked, in a chair, waiting for her to come back. She comes back and leads me over to this big wooden X in the middle of the room at St. Andrew's Cross. And puts my wrists up into cuffs on the cross and then pulls out a hood, which is sort of like a cat burglar mask, but with no eye holes, just a mouth hole. And she pulls that down over my head. And suddenly I'm plunged into this world that's just sensation and sound. And she's whispering in my ear. And I begin to feel hands touching me. I don't know who they are or how many people are involved, but they are touching me all over. They're pinching me, they're spanking me. They're being very gentle at times, and then not so much at other times. There's a baton involved. And I have no idea how much time is passing, but it feels like I'm falling into this abyss. It's disorienting, but I feel totally safe. I feel like all of these hands on me are catching me and holding me. And this goes on for a while. And then the flogging starts. It's heavy. It's heavier than I've ever felt. I'm not very experienced at this point. And this flogger is landing with such force that I can barely take it. And it's like someone reads my mind and comes right up to my face, puts their Face right in mine and begins to breathe with me. And that helps me take all of this energy that's coming in from the flogger. But even with that, I still felt like I couldn't take it. I begin to cry. And then I say, yellow, I need a break. And everything stops. And Pele comes in and checks in with me and asks if I want to keep going or do I need to lay down. And I decide I'm ready to lay down. So she takes me down off the cross and walks me over to this leather covered bench. And I lay down on it. My skin is kind of sticking to the leather and we can't find a blanket, so someone's piling coats on me. I'm laying on this leather bench with people's coats all over me, just high as a fucking kite. My endorphins are just. My brain is like swimming in them. And she sits down with me and begins to tell me who was involved in the scene. It turned out that there were five tops. And I asked her, who flogged me? Who was that? And she said, that was Silver Griffin. And I was like, oh, my God, it was David Bowie. I was blown away that the rock star wanted to flog me. I felt honored. And she walked across the room to where he was standing and brought him over to me. And he sat down on my head. And I remember thinking that his mouth looked really funny because his face was upside down. I was still very high, very high. And I don't know how long he sat with me, but he sat with me and talked with me until I was ready to get up. And when I got up, we exchanged contact information. I've changed a lot since that scene. But Pele is still one of the most important people in my life. And for the past two and a half years, I've been in a consensual master slave relationship with Silver Griffin. Thank you. They're both incredibly important people to me. One of the first, actually, the second class, I think, that I went to with Pele at Foundations. The presenter said, find the right people and say yes. And the two of them and many others that I've met through them are not just my friends, they're not just my play partners, they're my family. I go to Thanksgiving at Silver Griffin's house. And when Pele had an emergency C section at 28 weeks, I was at the hospital, the doctor came out and said, are you the family? And I said, yes. Thank you.

B (25:26)

My soul, wherever you are, whatever you are, don't lose me I know it's gonna to you don't lose But I know it's gonna happen someday to you Please wait. Don't lose faith, Sam. Don't lose faith. Don't lose Never ris When it seems so far away But I know it's gonna pop up someday Someday to you to you this way. This way.

A (29:23)

That was I know it's going to happen someday by David Bowie Bawdy Storytelling's upcoming tour dates are sponsored by Open, a sex positive dating app that's committed to a truly diverse community. It's a dating app for the open minded. If you identify as lgbtqia, as straight, disabled, monogamous, polyamorous, swinger, kinky body positive, there is a place where you can truly be yourself. Maybe you're gender non conforming or hetero flexible. No problem. Open has more than 20 options for gender and sexual orientation to choose from. Or you can write in your own. You can create a solo profile, a partnered profile, or both. Find friendship, dating, hookups, relationships, whatever you want. The point is, they want you to be you. Go to open.com body and download the app today. Oh, did I mention that Open donates a dollar to Planned Parenthood for every new profile created? Don't wait. Go to open.com bawdy and start making authentic connection today. If you like this podcast, you are going to love a live body storytelling. There's cocktails, there's people just like you. There's finding community. There's true stories that you get to watch in person. Watch the words come out of the person's mouth right in front of you. If it ends up on the podcast later, you can go, I was there for that. And remember, not every story ends up on the podcast so you can possibly get content that podcast listeners will never hear. Live shows do that. So let's talk about upcoming live shows for Body storytelling. This Friday, October 25th in San Francisco. The theme is Wicked. Come test drive your Halloween costume. Sexy Bob Ross. Sexy Mr. Rogers. I'm trying to figure out if I'm gonna doll it up on stage because this is show 8 of the 10 show tour. So yeah, I might just be a Girl Scout. We'll see what happens. That is going to be Friday, October 25th in San Francisco and then Wednesday, October 30th in New York at Chelsea Music Hall. The New York show had a time change. We will be starting at 7:30pm because they've put an event behind us. I've just added Kevin Allison from Risk to the lineup and I'VE got a special musical guest who just moved to New York. You've not seen him anywhere else, so you're going to be able to see him at the Chelsea Music hall with us on October 30th. Tickets are available on the Chelsea Music Hall's website or at ours. Bodystorytelling.com on November 7th in Seattle, the theme is Jackpot. That's going to be at the rebar. Seattle. I am looking for stories, so pitch me your story. And on November 14th, the theme is Gasm in San Francisco. What does GASM mean? I don't know. You tell me what GASM means. Send me your pitch. Here's how you pitch a story. You record yourself telling your story to me, beginning, middle and end. You upload that recording and attach it to an email and send it to me@dixiebodystorytelling.com I choose a certain number of stories and start coaching you to get you ready for the stage. I had somebody come up to me in Chicago and go, I want to learn how to tell stories the Dixie de la Tour way. How do I do that? Well, you can wait for me to produce a workshop and I really, really want to do much more of that in the new year. But till then, pitching your story means that you get custom coaching and the opportunity to get on stage in front of the most loving, most respectful, most standing ovation y audience in the world at Body Storytelling. Tickets are available@bodystorytelling.com shows or links are in the show notes. Remember how I promised to update you on the test tickle last week? Well, we had to crunch some numbers and see how things went. Here's what's gonna happen. The cities that did not quite make the mark but got very close were Boston, Washington, D.C. philadelphia and Atlanta. Kind of did okay. Trying to decide if I can make shows happen. I think Boston is a given because Boston got super, super close to the required number of tickets sold. The other ones I'm going to start researching and if you purchase tickets, if you voted for one of the other cities, I'm going to go ahead and refund those tickets and I think we're going to be starting another version of the testicle, maybe something that works a little bit differently this time. I know it's a long time to have that on hold on your credit card. I want to make it as easy as possible and I've started discovering that there are other ways to do this. I had looked for years and years, didn't have any luck. And as soon as I put out the testicle, I started finding things that probably were exactly what we need. So for round two, we're going to have some new cities. Some of the cities that got really close may be put into the next batch of cities. So keep an eye out and you're going to see things change on the website soon. You'll see a refund on your credit card if you bought tickets in Minneapolis or Denver, any of those cities. And if you want me to hang on to it, if you want to keep voting for them, that's going to tell me you want your city listed in the next batch, too. You know how to contact me. Dixie bodystorytelling.com I want to do what you want me to do. I'm trying to bring this show to new cities. Thanks in advance for all the people who purchased tickets on the testicle who voted for their city. And you know, this round of touring is ending soon. We're going to be on the road again before you know it, and maybe it's going to be your city. I want to feature your voice on this podcast. I am working on a big project. It's coming up soon, so I need you to send me your voice memo recordings. Perhaps you can tell us about a story you really loved that stuck with you on this podcast. Maybe you're going to tell us about how listening to these stories have changed your life. Maybe you're going to let us know what your life looks like like and when and where you listen to the Body Storytelling podcast. Maybe you have an idea for something else. Please record yourself talking to me or the podcast audience and send it to me dixieodistorytelling.com and soon enough, we're gonna hear your voice on this podcast. Thanks in advance for doing just that. Oh, my God, you guys, it's over.

C (36:19)

Oh.

A (36:20)

Before I say thank you to the team that makes it possible, I want to say thank you to you. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this podcast. Thank you for telling your friends about it. Thank you for reviewing us wherever you review podcasts. I love to read your words. And most of all, thank you for showing up for a live body storytelling, seeing your face in person, knowing that you planned travel, sometimes hours and hours of travel, to come say hi to me and get a hug in person. That's why I do this, you know, real people in person. That's what drives me. And let's say thank you to the people who make this podcast possible. Thank you to podcast producer Marty Garcia, to video archivist Joe Moore, to project manager Dana Hanna to sound engineer David Grossoff.

B (37:10)

And.

A (37:11)

And thank you for spreading the word. It's really important, and it's how we grow. And growing is what keeps. You know, that whole fucking thing about sharks dying moving. I don't know what the fuck the quote is, but, you know, growth is important. And that's why I'm touring and you're helping me grow. Thank you for that. I am sexual folklorist Dixie de la Tour. This has been episode 94, and here's a peek at what's next. I won't lie, a lot of that shit's sexy as fuck when somebody else is doing it. But now, all of a sudden, I'm gonna get flogged and I'm gonna be called a P.