Bawdy Storytelling – Episode 95: "All Bravado" (featuring Crystal Crow)

Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling, hosted by Dixie De La Tour, balances the deeply personal with the tantalizingly provocative. In the first half, Dixie shares a raw and vulnerable account of her recent health scare, reflecting on mortality, identity, and her dedication to the Bawdy community. The main feature is Crystal Crow’s live, unscripted story of sexual self-discovery, BDSM exploration, and transformation—from bravado to authenticity to unexpected intimacy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dixie's Health Crisis: Vulnerability, Fear & Community (01:17 – 17:48)

• Dixie opens up about missing her own show for the first time in 13 years, precipitated by a sudden, severe pain that led her to the ER. She wrestles with the American healthcare system as an uninsured person, her devotion to her work, and fears about losing her livelihood and identity.

• The hospital ordeal: Dixie describes the chaos and characters of San Francisco General, from drug-addled patients to overworked staff. She highlights the emotional rollercoaster—from being told she may have a perforated colon and possible metastatic cancer, plunging her into existential crisis, to relief when further tests show it was a severe infection, not cancer.

• Reflection: Dixie’s takeaway is deeply human—a meditation on the fragility of life, the importance of doing good work, and taking nothing for granted.

  • Memorable quote:

    "All I can do is just think about what I've done with my life. You only get one, and have I done the best job that I could with this life?"
    — Dixie De La Tour [16:01]

• Community & resilience: Despite her ordeal, Dixie decides to push on:

  • Quote:

    "When I say I'm gonna do something, I do my damnedest to do it. And I'm not gonna be at 100%, but I'm going to do the best job I can."
    — Dixie De La Tour [16:56]

2. Crystal Crow: "All Bravado"—Sexual Adventure & Affirmation (18:00 – 27:35)

Background (18:00 – 20:30)

• Online Exploration: Crystal describes her love for "trolling OkCupid," hunting for profiles that catch her attention, specifically drawn to those open about kinks—BDSM, poly, degradation, flogging. Crystal is unapologetically herself: "Yes, I use my real name because that's my name." [19:19]

• Phone Affair: What begins as a safe, anonymous 400-mile distance dynamic grows into sexually charged phone exchanges over 10 months, discussing fantasies—a blend of romantic, raunchy, and rooted in the escapism of "penthouse letters" and porn DVDs.

Transition & Fear (20:30 – 23:29)

• Crystal moves to Oakland—unintentionally shifting boundaries. The man (Charlie2004) panics and ghosts her for six weeks.

• He suddenly calls, suggesting an in-person encounter echoing all their fantasies:

  • Crystal's inner monologue:

    "Now all of a sudden, I’m gonna get flogged and I’m gonna be called a piggy. Okay?" [22:43]
    She acknowledges some of what she'd described was fantasy—"a lot of that shit's sexy as fuck when somebody else is doing it."

The Night of "All Bravado" (23:29 – 25:30)

• Arriving at Charlie's: Nerves, a comical wrong-apartment moment, parking illegally without realizing it. Crystal focuses on "acting all bravado"—faking confidence.

• Stepping into the fantasy:

  • Immediately instructed to undress, gagged (his fantasy), and then put through the paces—tied up, flogged, degraded, and fucked for "four and a half hours every which way."
  • Liberating revelation:

    "For the first time in my life, nobody's making fun of me. Nobody's walking out on me. I love this." [24:38]

  • Wrapped in his arms afterwards ("Aftercare." [25:23]), she feels truly seen and cared for.

Affirmation, Aftermath & Self-Realization (25:30 – 27:35)

• Unusual tenderness:

  • Charlie helps her dress, thanks her, and kisses her as she leaves.
  • The depth of the experience—being loved, affirmed, and not ghosted—hits deeply:

    "For the first time, someone loved me, loved what I had done, loved every interaction. And just like not having a ticket, I was… Okay, I don’t know what the word is. And it was amazing." [26:12]

• Lasting impact:
  After only one more encounter, merely hearing his voice is enough to arouse her—a testament to the power and significance of the experience.

Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |-----------|---------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16:01 | Dixie De La Tour | "All I can do is just think about what I've done with my life. You only get one, and have I done the best job that I could with this life?" | | 16:56 | Dixie De La Tour | "When I say I'm gonna do something, I do my damnedest to do it. And I'm not gonna be at 100%, but I'm going to do the best job I can." | | 19:19 | Crystal Crow | "Yes, I use my real name, because that's my name." | | 22:43 | Crystal Crow | "Now all of a sudden, I’m gonna get flogged and I’m gonna be called a piggy. Okay?" | | 24:38 | Crystal Crow | "For the first time in my life, nobody's making fun of me. Nobody's walking out on me. I love this." | | 25:23 | Dixie de la Tour | “Aftercare.” (identifying the tenderness post-scene) | | 26:12 | Crystal Crow | "For the first time, someone loved me, loved what I had done, loved every interaction. And just like not having a ticket, I was… Okay, I don’t know what the word is. And it was amazing." |

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Dixie’s health story, vulnerability & reflection: 01:17 – 17:48
• Introduction to Crystal Crow: 17:48 – 18:00
• Crystal Crow’s story "All Bravado": 18:00 – 27:35
• Musical interludes & transitions (LP Bawdi’s performances): Interspersed [various, e.g., 27:35, 31:09]
• Promo & closing: post-31:09

Tone & Language

Dixie’s narration is candid, self-effacing, and wry, with dark humor threading through life-and-death anxiety. Crystal’s story is open, bold, and unapologetically explicit but threaded with vulnerability and longing for affirmation. The language throughout is uncensored and direct, capturing the authentic, improvisational spirit of Bawdy Storytelling.

Summary

This episode captures Bawdy Storytelling at its most authentic—blunt, raucously explicit, and radically vulnerable. Whether confronting issues of illness, mortality, and insurance, or the transformative power of a night of kink and kindness, both Dixie and Crystal illustrate how sexual storytelling is ultimately about being seen, affirmed, and alive.