Bawdy Storytelling, Episode 96: “Fistaversary” (Matt Horne)

Podcast Host: Dixie De La Tour
Episode Date: November 7, 2019
Featured Storyteller: Matt Horne

Episode Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling, the self-styled “Moth for pervs,” is all about celebrating sex positivity and sexual adventures through true, uncensored storytelling. Episode 96 is themed around “Fistaversary”—a playful and intimate take on sexual anniversaries—marking the 10th anniversary of host Dixie de La Tour’s own milestone involving sexual exploration and partnership. The episode features a candid, raw, and humorous story from guest storyteller Matt Horne about self-acceptance, sexual desire, and finding your people (and kinks) in the queer community. The show wraps with the debut of “Fistaversary,” a custom song written for Dixie and her partner.

Key Discussion Points and Story Highlights

1. Dixie’s Life Update & Community Support

[01:12–17:45]

• Dixie shares her recent health scare and hospitalization, describing how she almost missed a show for the first time in nearly 13 years.
• Emphasizes the power of community: with the help of New York’s sex-positive leaders and friends (Melaina Williams Haas, Dirty Lola, Kevin Allison, Cindy Darnell), Dixie pulled off a successful show despite low energy.
• Highlights how community members stepped in with support, encouragement, and practical help.
• Notable Quote:
  “Melena reminded me that I have a community that wants to help... You have to ask for help.” — Dixie ([02:46])

2. The Origin of "Fistaversary"

[13:43–18:42]

• Dixie recounts how her adventurous spirit and sexual creativity led her to Craigslist hookups, including one failed “fur coat in an elevator” fantasy.
• Details how a chance lunch with “Bent” (now her partner) followed a disappointment, turning into a spontaneous fisting encounter.
• Describes the emotional, post-coital vulnerability that unexpectedly bonded them—a mix of sex and real, raw emotion was the catalyst for their now decade-long relationship.
• Notable Quote:
  “This is not your typical post fisting conversation.” — Dixie ([16:08])
• Notable Moment:
  “This week is our fistaversary. This week is the 10 year anniversary of that night where... somehow we never separated. We’ve been together ever since.” — Dixie ([17:18])

3. Sex-Positive Message & Community Invitation

[18:42–23:40]

• Dixie asks for support on Patreon and solicits listener voice memos, highlighting how sharing and listening to these stories creates solidarity and acceptance.

4. Story: “Fistaversary” by Matt Horne

[23:40–37:59]

• Setting the Scene: Matt Horne begins his story with a candid confession about shame and sexual curiosity (specifically, fisting porn) and recounts kink-shaming by his ex, which triggers a major transformation:
  “I can’t deal with this kink shaming anymore.” — Matt ([24:14])
• Self-Transformation: After leaving his boyfriend, Matt channels rage into a “revenge glow-up,” losing 80 pounds and gaining confidence.
• Entering the Party:
  • Wears angel wings and glitter shorts to a Polyglamorous New Year’s party where he meets a striking man (Ray, with a red Mohawk).
  • Their wild, public, consensual play in the “Love Den” (play space) becomes a liberating, validating sexual experience.
  • Ray mysteriously disappears without giving his contact info, leaving Matt on a months-long search (reminiscent of a kinky Cinderella story:
    “It was like a Cinderella story, if the glass slipper was his load in my...” — Matt ([27:31]))
• The Reunion & Sexual Adventure:
  • Six months later, Matt spots Ray at another party and seizes the opportunity.
  • They reconnect with urgency and passion—first on the dance floor, then at a packed after-party, culminating in the story’s centerpiece: Matt’s first fisting experience with someone who enthusiastically requests and enjoys it.
  • Matt details the logistics and sensations of fisting for the first time, the intimate connection, and the playful nerves associated with prepping himself (“My nails haven’t been trimmed... trying to not cut my fingers off, I’m like, this boy is worth it.” — Matt ([34:37])).
  • His joy at finally being sexually validated and encouraged, not shamed, highlights the deeper emotional significance:
    “For the first time in my entire life, I was finally with someone who made me feel valid for what I was into, who made me feel worth it.” — Matt ([37:12]))
• Aftermath:
  • Ray ends up extending his trip to Denver to stay and keep exploring with Matt, solidifying the start of a new, open, kink-affirming romance.

5. The “Fistiversary” Song

[37:59–43:11]

• To celebrate Dixie and Bent’s 10-year “fistaversary,” friends Jefferson Berkey and Matt Horne perform a hilarious, campy, and loving song filled with wordplay, innuendo, and details about their shared kink (“Happy fistiversary, I have to hand it to you... You know how to hand it to me.” — Jefferson ([38:16]))
• The song celebrates sexual exploration, emotional intimacy, and the unique way some couples mark their anniversaries.
• Memorable Lyrics:
  • “Let’s celebrate with our gaping holes!” — Jefferson ([38:35])
  • “How much deeper our love it will be when you’re elbow deep in me. Careful, or this might be our last fistaversary...” — Jefferson ([42:31]))
  • “Maybe next year we’ll introduce a foot!” — Jefferson ([42:58]))
• Dixie shares that this custom song is a loving inside joke and a celebration of her relationship’s roots.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Melena reminded me that I have a community that wants to help... You have to ask for help.” — Dixie ([02:46])
• “This is not your typical post fisting conversation.” — Dixie ([16:08])
• “This week is our fistaversary. This week is the 10 year anniversary of that night... We’ve been together ever since.” — Dixie ([17:18])
• “I can’t deal with this kink shaming anymore.” — Matt Horne ([24:14])
• “It was like a Cinderella story, if the glass slipper was his load in my...” — Matt ([27:31])
• “For the first time in my entire life, I was finally with someone who made me feel valid for what I was into, who made me feel worth it.” — Matt ([37:12])
• “Let’s celebrate with our gaping holes!” — Jefferson ([38:35])
• “How much deeper our love it will be when you’re elbow deep in me. Careful, or this might be our last fistaversary...” — Jefferson ([42:31]))
• “Maybe next year we’ll introduce a foot!” — Jefferson ([42:58]))

Episode Structure & Flow

• 0:01–18:42: Dixie’s vulnerability, backstory, and the “Fistaversary” origin myth.
• 18:42–23:40: Patreon plug and community call to action.
• 23:40–37:59: Matt Horne’s vivid and emotionally resonant story of kink, sex, and self-love.
• 37:59–43:11: Original musical celebration, “Fistiversary,” performed by Jefferson Berkey and Matt Horne.
• 43:11–end: Dixie’s closing notes (show announcements, gratitude, and audience engagement).

Takeaways

• Community is Vital: Sex-positive spaces thrive on mutual support—they allow space for vulnerability, healing, and celebration.
• Sexual Authenticity: Both stories underscore a central message: self-acceptance and openness lead to genuine connection—whether in bed, on stage, or in community.
• Stories Heal & Empower: Honest stories (whether raw, explicit, or hilarious) fight shame and nurture liberation—for tellers and listeners alike.
• Celebrating Kink: Humor, love, and song merge to transform “taboo” into joyful, shared celebration.
• Memorable and Unapologetic: From beds in San Francisco to dance floors at Burning Man, “Fistaversary” is an episode that honors the messy, awkward, ecstatic, tearful, and triumphant moments that make sex, relationships, and storytelling unforgettable.

Listeners looking for sex-positive, queer-centered, radically honest storytelling will find Episode 96 a heartfelt, hilarious, and explicit celebration of love and kink—the true “Bawdy” spirit in action.