Bawdy Storytelling: Episode 97 – "Girl in a Bag" (Tristan Taormino)

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling, hosted by sexual folklorist Dixie De La Tour, weaves together two distinct segments: an intimate, advice-focused conversation on sexual self-acceptance and orgasm, followed by the show-stopping, hilarious, and wildly kinky story “Girl in a Bag” told by writer, educator, and pornographer Tristan Taormino. The episode embodies Bawdy’s sex-positive ethos, blending heartfelt vulnerability with unapologetic celebration of sexual adventure and community, all delivered with warmth, empathy, and plenty of laughs.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Listener Letter: Sexual Insecurity, Orgasm, and Body Positivity

[01:13–15:29]

A. Laura’s Letter and Struggles

• Dixie reads a letter from Laura, a new listener struggling with sexual fulfillment—including never having had an orgasm—and body image after trauma, medication, and motherhood.
• Laura expresses vulnerability, a longing for connection (including polyamory), and a desire to break through shame and silence.

B. Expert Advice: Featuring Sunny Megatron

• Dixie brings in Sunny Megatron, renowned sex educator, to address Laura’s main concerns, specifically her difficulty achieving orgasm and body confidence.

Key Advice for Laura

• You’re Not Alone: Many people share these feelings; self-judgment is common and can be eased with compassion.
• Body Transformation ≠ Instant Sexual Liberation: Changing your body doesn’t automatically fix internalized shame or result in easier orgasms.
  • “Your body is your body… huge changes don’t fix everything.” — Dixie [06:55]
• Know Yourself, First: Masturbation is key to learning about your personal pleasure.
  • “Get to know yourself first, have a love affair with yourself, and not to expect your partner to know what to do.” — Sunny Megatron [09:58]

Recommendations for Achieving Orgasm

• Sex Toys:
  • Clitoral stimulation is most common path to orgasm for people with vulvas.
  • Recommendations: The Hitachi Magic Wand (now “Original Magic Wand”), Womanizer, Satisfier, We Vibe Melt, Laylow Sona Cruise.
    • “When the Womanizer… came out, people were like, ‘guaranteed to give you an orgasm in 30 seconds.’ That’s marketing, but there’s some truth in that.” — Sunny Megatron [12:25]
• Pleasure Ritual:
  • Make self-pleasure an act of self-love: candles, music, caressing entire body, not just genitals.
  • “Do those things that you may imagine a lover would want to do… you should also be doing that for yourself.” — Sunny Megatron [13:35]
• Patience with Orgasm as a Goal:
  • Don’t make orgasm the only goal. Enjoy the journey; satisfaction can be found even without climax.
  • “If you keep chasing just the orgasm… it may also cause you to miss that goal.” — Sunny Megatron [14:49]

Acknowledgment of Complexity

• Issues like trauma, medications, and relationship dynamics can contribute deeply; there is no simple fix, but experimentation and kindness toward oneself are crucial.

C. Patreon Segment Preview

• Further conversation and resources (including toys, somatic practitioners) made available to Patreon supporters.

2. Story Segment – "Girl in a Bag" by Tristan Taormino

[22:15–49:04]

A. Setting the Scene: Swinger Convention in New Orleans

• Tristan and her trans male partner, Ben, attend a large, predominantly straight and heteronormative swinger convention.
• Feelings of being outsiders—“queer and kinky” in a sea of “middle-aged, upper middle class, white, very heterosexual” attendees.
  • “There’s this particular swinger woman archetype… bleach blonde hair, big fake tits … Lucite stripper heels, but not ironically.” — Tristan Taormino [22:56]
• “It’s the only place I’ve ever been where… my badge says my name and also my partner’s name in case I get lost.” — Tristan Taormino [23:44]

B. Teaching & Connection

• Tristan is at the convention to teach a class: “How to Squirting Like a Porn Star.”
• Demonstrates G-spot stimulation in a conference ballroom, breaking the conservative atmosphere.

C. Reunion With Freaky Friends

• After awkward interactions with the swing crowd, relief comes with the arrival of old friends, Matt and Franny.
• Franny, described as a “kinky Midwestern mom,” previously demonstrated an energetic orgasm after food was thrown at her in a BDSM class.
  • “She is also the kinkiest person I have ever met in my life.” — Tristan Taormino [25:43]

D. Objectification as Kink

• Franny’s desire: “Sometimes I just want to be treated as less than human… I want someone to just crush my ego.” — Franny, retold by Tristan [31:36]

E. The Suitcase Fantasy

• After a night of group sex, Franny shares her elaborate fantasy: being packed naked into a suitcase, transported anonymously, and used by a stranger before being zipped up and sent away.
  • “My fantasy is that I am put naked in a suitcase… and someone unzips it and there is a complete stranger… this guy can have his way with me.” — Franny, retold by Tristan [36:24]
• The group improvises with Tristan’s empty suitcase; Franny curls inside, begs to be zipped up.

F. Hilarity and Consent Panic

• The group wheels Franny around the hotel hallway in the suitcase at 4am, nearly caught by elevator passengers.
• They accidentally leave Franny in the hallway; strangers discover the bag is “moving,” unzip it, and find naked Franny, who enthusiastically announces: “I’m a girl in a bag.”
  • Absolute comic chaos as the group realizes they’ve put unwitting bystanders into a consensual kink scene.

G. Resolution & Kink Community

• Tristan, wearing nothing but “sparkly, strappy, kind of like stripper heels, ironically,” confronts the scene and commands Franny: “Get back in that bag.” [45:29]
• Franny, delighted, continues to play along. The group finally retrieves her, all boundaries delightfully blurred, underscored by community trust and safe-room antics.

H. The Aftermath & Thank You Note

• Next morning, Franny joyfully greets Tristan at checkout, elated by the scene; she leaves a note requesting kink supplies for their next event: “Please bring the following to Kinkfest: magic markers, inflatable kiddie pool, ambiance, a shovel, quick-dry cement.”
  • “People write me thank you notes all the time for sex. Just want you to know that.” — Tristan Taormino [48:15]
• Tristan, ever the top, dutifully plans their next adventure.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On chasing sexual fulfillment:
  “I totally relate to putting everything on hold until you feel like you look the way you should to have an orgasm or be sexual… But these are questions that I believe a sex educator should answer. And I’m a sexual folklorist.” — Dixie [04:39]
• On self-pleasure & sex toys:
  “Develop that love affair with yourself with your Hitachi Magic Wand… develop a love affair with yourself because your sexuality is tied in how you feel about yourself.” — Sunny Megatron [11:42, 13:35]
• On the swingers’ hotel convention vibe:
  “It has a strange kind of Christian Mingle vibe, but with more ass grabbing. Christian Mingle’s asses.” — Tristan Taormino [23:14]
• On Franny’s objectification kink:
  “Sometimes I just want to be treated as less than human.… I want someone to just crush my ego.” — Franny, retold by Tristan [31:36]
• When Franny is discovered naked in the suitcase:
  “I’m a girl in a bag.” — Franny [41:55, multiple repeats]
• On post-scene, Franny’s joy:
  “She’s giddy and bubbly in a way that makes no sense whatsoever because we’ve all gotten no sleep. But she's just so excited with how that scene went.” — Tristan [47:15]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:13] Dixie reads Laura’s letter on sexual insecurity and asks for listener advice.
• [05:37] Sunny Megatron joins to discuss body confidence & orgasm strategies.
• [09:58 – 14:49] In-depth sex toy recommendations and pleasure ritual advice.
• [22:15] Tristan Taormino begins “Girl in a Bag” story: swingers convention misadventures.
• [31:36] Franny’s objectification kink explained.
• [36:24] Franny’s suitcase fantasy detailed.
• [41:55 – 45:34] Suitcase scene unfolds; Franny discovered in the hallway and repeatedly says, “I’m a girl in a bag.”
• [47:15] Franny’s morning-after gratitude and the infamous kink supply shopping list.

Tone & Language

The episode maintains a candid, vulnerable, and joyfully irreverent tone throughout, interspersed with laughter, genuine empathy, sexual expertise, and the kind of mischievous storytelling that defines Bawdy Storytelling.

For listeners: This episode is a masterclass in mixing sex-positive education and outrageous true-life storytelling. Whether you’re seeking advice or a riotously good tale of community and kink, “Girl in a Bag” delivers affirmation, hilarity, and hope.